Today he was vastly confused about making trips for tomorrow. I have literally told him, forty times today and tonight, we are meeting his boss at the house, tomorrow, at 10 AM. He cannot process that and keeps babbling about leaving the house at 9. I keep telling him we can't leave the house at 9 if we are meeting someone at the house at 10. It doesn't process.
He cannot understand it. We meet the boss, have a pickup an hour later, go to work, work some hours, come home. He has deleted 2 trips. We will have to either beg for a trip tomorrow or pay $$ we don't have, for a cab home from work.
He just doesn't get it. I am going to have to 1. Get another job and 2. Find some sort of care for him. I don't think I can leave him alone anymore, he has rotted his brain. I am so glad I took the knobs off the stove and I need to hide them. And he keeps insisting we "have" to leave the house at 9 AM tomorrow.
I finally, flatly, told him I would not leave the house with him at 9 because we are meeting the boss at 10. I still don't think he "gets" it but he at least accepted it. And, damnit, this is what I was trying to get diagnosed last week when they wouldn't help me. He isn't in reality, he needs help.
I asked last week, I didn't get it. I will have to figure out employment...
Finally, after an hour of delusional ravings... he has figured it out.
I am going to have to make up a resume and talk to the other vendor about a reference.
18 comments:
It is ALL the vodka he is drinking. And yet you let him make all the decisions in your household. It makes no sense at all. I don't think the meeting in the morning is going to go well. Do not let him drink before she shows up. Only ask the other vendor for a reference if you have a job interview.
I know you are just b.s.ing about getting a job and placing him in a home but it really is what needs to happen. If he does go into a home you don't have to visit everyday since you will be working full time.
You have known this for months. Call the number you said you called in the past for help. Call now and leave a message if they are not there. Keep calling until you talk to someone even if you have left messages. Stop putting it off.
Why does the boss lady want to come to the house vs meet at the work site since you’re going there anyway? And she can’t even come inside your house due to the cats?
I have to see how the meeting goes before I make big decisions. The other vendor has a chronic and ongoing issue with getting reliable help. It is physically hard work which takes some mechanical skill and customer service as well, along with impeccable honesty. That's a hard bill to fill so very good odds if Ron does resign they will give me a job working for them. Based on what he said he pays them that would be enough and could work with public transit.
That might be plan A. I know what to do, I would just have to do it their way, which is different. But the same basic job.
That is a part time job 24 hours at a good rate of pay, if that isn't enough with Ron's check I could springboard that into some caregiving (not dementia!) on my off days if Ron is placed.
I need to get Ron to a doctor and get a diagnosis. Is it reversible? I could be wrong, it may be if Ron stops the alcohol and does a proper detox. If it is not I go from there.
He said he wished me luck getting another job but thought I would not be able to get one, then later said he only wished me well and has only ever done so. Yes, I scoffed at him.
I don't know why she wants to come. I suppose Ron asked her. I did ask Ron to find out how she feels about cats which is why she won't come in.
Poor thing doesn't know about the cat door, and Torbie.
I was hoping she would come in so we would get the sympathy factor going.
I thought the B vitamins you were giving him were making a difference. And i knew you were b.s.ing about getting a job and placing him. You are going to ride this train until it completely derails.
Sympathy or not he is still required to do his job and if he can't then they won't coddle him for long.
He figured out they were B vitamins, he took one dry and it got stuck, he had a bad taste in his mouth for hours and swore he would not take them again, threw away the bottle, even though I tried to explain. If they end up giving him B vitamins it will have to be IV.
I think for the short term I could do the reports for a while, if we do that we could keep it going a while. Especially as I can get to work on the bus in what I consider a reasonable amount of time. I may even be able to get rides from one employee who lives nearby.
The other vendor: wife does the report, he doesn't come in that often, that is fine and acceptable. I don't see how that couldn't work for us.
Sympathy factor, reminds me of my dad. He had a bad car accident, messed up his foot. He sat around and drank like a fish. He commented one time after a Dr. visit that he wished something was wrong with him, so he could "get sympathy" I find that disgusting.
Isn't Ron supposed to do the reports? Impeccable Honesty? Why are you dragging your feet at getting another job? It's going to be real ugly when your house of cards falls down.
My sister just retired early, on a pension and thought it would be easy to pick up a part time job. She found out it's the opposite and very hard. I suggest you start looking NOW.
How do you know it's acceptable that the wife does the report for the other vendor? Maybe they're not honest?
We will find out in half an hour if it is OK for me to do the report for Ron. He finally agreed to "let" me do them. IMO it doesn't matter who does them as long as they are done and Ron is willing to put his name on it.
I did very well in my accounting classes 20 years ago.
Ron is very disabled, still works, asks for very little. I am also disabled. Our house was just wrecked. That is sympathetic. Did I pop the pipe? No. But if it buys me good will I am OK with that. Just like I am OK admitting, now, that I am disabled and cannot drive.
If we can run the business I will do that.
If Ron is very disabled he is not working. He lays in bed and drinks all day, occasionally goes with you to work to crush a few boxes and play with the coins. Doing things to gain sympathy for benefit is just gross.
So you are going to do ALL the work and he is going to get MOST of the money and waste it on vodka?
What part of "Stocks the soda machines" failed to process?
How is he stocking the soda machines when you have to stop to help him do it every time? You blog about how you have to stop and help him load the machines. He’s. Not. Working.
Exactly my thought. He needs help with EVERYTHING. You have even said it would be faster if you just did it all. He is pretty useless overall.
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