Saturday, February 29, 2020

I slept better last night

I think the cats are giving me a break and staying off the cot at night.  I appreciate it, I love them but I do need my sleep. 

I am not really present online.  I have Facebook.  On Facebook I am in a couple of cat groups.  I am in a kratom group, although we have to call it "tea".  That is it. 

I am on a survivalist message board. 

And I have the blog.  That is about my online presence these days. 

Years ago after my diagnosis I thought I would join the online bipolar community.  But I found myself wanting to slap most of them.  Drinking, creating drama, using illegal drugs, abusing the drugs they had, not taking their mood stabilizers, and the WHINING OMG. 

But what really did it for me was the chat room.  Someone asked if I had kids, and I said "I don't think we (bipolar) should have kids".  The whole thing blew up flames everywhere a moderator had to step in "I think Heather means she thinks SHE shouldn't have kids, right?!" 

No, I meant what I said.  And in "The Bipolar Survival Guide" the doctor discusses that it is very difficult for a bipolar parent with a newborn.  Sleep deprivation jacks with our moods.  My only experience with a bipolar parent - she was incapacitated, to say the least, with a horrible depression after my birth.  She couldn't even take baby pictures for months and I was the youngest.  She wasn't stable and I, as a child, craved stability more than anything. 

That was the nice thing about my stepmother, I knew exactly who I would find when I walked in the door after school.  She would be in the same mood, fixing dinner.  The house would be clean and organized.  She is a lot of things but she was stable. 

And I valued that.  I need to tell her this. 

Anyway that's why I avoid the bipolar community.  They piss me off. 

But I really appreciated the good sleep and I woke up around 7, on my day off. 

I have had a poster for years, I bought it when manic, planned to put it on a door because it is 12x36.  It has a tropical theme.  I finally got it hung in the laundry room today.  It matches the paint, nicely. 

I fed Ron.  He is good. 

My foot is bothering me some.  When my shoes give out my plantars hurt.  :p  Then it takes a couple days to bounce back.  My work boots wore out faster than usual because I wore them all the time.  But I bought 2 nice pair of sneakers (total cost $30 thank you Walmart) yesterday.  They have memory foam so should be comfortable. 

I want to minimize walking for a while until I get that under control because I do not want a repeat of last year.  I had a very bad flare and it felt like walking on knives, I was nearly in tears every time I stood up, and it took weeks to recover.  I do not want that again. 

I have some errands I would like to run but I believe they can wait a few days.  I got the essential supplies I will need for the short term, at any rate. 

I even ran the washer on the clean cycle.  I just need to clean the water fountain for the cats.  And finish the monthly report; I did some of the accounting work already. 

Friday, February 28, 2020

Happily my day got better

We started by going to Sam's, I already wrote about THAT ride.  I just can't stand the germ freaks, they are just operating from an irrational place of fear.  So worried about her HANDS when the virus is AIRborne. 

I did my shopping, got our food, we went to work and stocked.   We didn't need to do much so we left early and came home.  So far the day was uneventful. 

But, and I have never discussed this with anyone, my footwear can go from fine to terrible one day to the next I am in extreme pain and no support.  I had that with my boots.  I figured screw this I would go to Walmart and get some new shoes. 

I took off the painful work boots and wore my slides.  I went to Walmart and got some canned food, soda, and shoes.  I was happy to find Oregano oil which I think is great for immunity.  The canned food was pretty depleted, about what I've seen when we have a hurricane, and a lot of people had bottled water BUT we had a boil order for most of Houston today (not my area).  I paid and went outside. 

A woman and her friend came up to me disturbingly close like they were waiting with me.  I moved and they did not follow me. 

My Uber driver had me before so he came right over.  I came home and put everything away, took an Oregano oil, and took care of Ron. 

I laid down for a nap, Biscuit got on me, Spotty and Cleo nearby.  We had a pretty good nap but I woke up with a headache.  Ron woke me up, he had lost his blanket.  Maybe I need to give him one of my sleeping bags.  I got him situated, then he wanted apple juice. 

I am happy with my stock of canned food.  I also got some cup of noodles as well.  I like those they are a good comfort food. 

One of my Facebook friends has become rather frustrating.  She adopted a low functioning autistic child.  That is her business.  But she got very upset ranting online about how "high functioning" as a statement "isn't fair to those with less ability".  What are we SUPPOSED to call them? 

UGH.  It reminds me of some of the blind community, they get all bent if you call them blind even though they can't see anything.  They even sued Disney over the Mr Magoo movie.  Then people don't know what to call Ron because they are all worried about offending him.  Ron is fine with "blind".  He is also fine with "had a stroke" and "head injured".   It has gotten ridiculous people are getting offended at ANY term used for the slow or different/  Every term you can generate is "offensive" to them and the person who actually has a problem doesn't care!  That is what I find so funny!  The person with the problem doesn't care. 

Now I can see a term like "dummy" or "idiot" but "idiot" was an actual medical term for a certain intelligence range, back in the day.  People turned it into an insult.  Pretty soon people like Linda will have us all referring to them as "non neurotypical" or some nonsense. 

Sometimes the simplest term is the best, like "slow" or "high functioning autistic". 

The other one that gets me are the people who diagnose themselves online, decide they are "autistic", get NO backup on that - no testing at all - and want "accommodations"  It doesn't work that way.  Otherwise we would all be "autistic". 

I remember at work there was a guy dying of cancer and they wouldn't let him sit down while he worked his regular job.  He had to stand, or do another job, because they didn't want to set a precedent.  He was resigned to it and went to the other job, which he did until he died. 

She was quite upset they wouldn't "accommodate" her, though.  Because, after all, she knew someone who was diagnosed autistic and she had all the same features, so she MUST be autistic, too, right?  ANYONE could see that, she'd say.  [rolleyes]  But she would never go for a formal diagnosis. 

Ruins it for those of us with actual limitations.  And yes, I have a formal diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol AND Bipolar with schizophrenia.  Ron asks me for help, but really no one else aside from rides in the wheelchair cab. 

We do complement each other in our needs, he needs more physical assistance, memory care, job coaching.  I need my nap every day if I can get it.  :) 

I hate drama

Had to ride with Debra, who lives on creating drama and crisis.  Example: told me I HAD to put Ron in the neighbors grass to load him.  It is impossible to push Ron in grass.  I told her NO everyone else loads him just fine without.  She got nasty but then did it the correct way.  

Then freaking out about Corona virus and taking her hands off the wheel repeatedly to spray Lysol on her hands.  I told her the virus is airborne and that freaked her out even more.  Terrible driver COULD NOT stay in her lane thank God we made it here alive.

All she wants to hear is she is a victim and doing a GREAT job when both are wrong.

Thursday, February 27, 2020

That wasn't a good nap

Yesterday I ate some fried rice from the Chinese restaurant.  Today I have been battling a nasty headache.  I took a survey once and most of what I get would be considered migraines but this one was more in the pain at a 6 on a 1-10 so "bad" headache but could do things. 

Anyway I took some Excedrin and smoked some hemp, it faded off a bit.  I took a nap and woke up with it doubled.  It took me about an hour to get up, it was that bad.  More Excedrin and hemp. 

That is one thing I would want if we did have a pandemic, Excedrin, and I have plenty.  I was happy, speaking of Pandemics, to find my bottle of oregano oil capsules.  I am a huge believer in them and they have served me well. 

I have most of a bottle so that should see me through. 

I finally got up and felt like crap.  The hemp helped some but not tremendously.  I may get some more when I finish here. 

And yes I am aware smoking anything is going to limit my immunity. 

I fed Ron, he wanted egg rolls and protein shake so that's what he got.  Oh, that would make me sick.  But he loves his shake.  These.  I am just happy I am getting some nutrition into him, and when I feel bad about his diet I remind myself they make these shakes because many seniors/disabled are not getting/wanting good nutrition.  I could make him a huge salad and he might eat it.  But the shake is a sure bet, he says they are "like candy" and loves them.  He calls them "chocolate" shakes.  They are mocha, but he's drinking at least one a day, happily, so I'm not complaining.  It only matters that he consumes it. 

He was so happy he said he wanted to do something for me.  I reminded him my love language is quality time.  He decided he would take me to Walmart.  I said that was fine, we could take a Uber home.  He liked that.  He hates waiting forever on a ride and we have Ubers everywhere in Houston. 

I can pick up a few more things, more snakes for him, for instance.  [edit: SHAKES] I have plenty of "my" shakes, a vanilla shake with 30 grams of protein in a slightly bigger package.  I think 14 is plenty.  They are good for me because I can take my mood stabilizers with the shake and a small snack and they settle well.

For instance, I forgot I need more straws for Ron. 

Anyway, that ought to be interesting after work tomorrow. 

I checked the bottle of lye outside and I have half a bottle, so I very carefully poured it down the bathroom drain.  That is working right now and then I will flush it.  So I am out of the lye now.  Next up is the bleach and the toilet bowl cleaner.  I'm not worried about the water I think it is fine. 

We do our inventory run tomorrow.  That shouldn't take too long.  Then stocking but I don't think it's been very busy.  Later on, Walmart. 

I am just hoping to eliminate this headache. 


Thursday morning

I was really happy back in December when I had a dumpster and a mania at the same time.  I cleaned out my stash of canned foods, many of which I had bought when manic and were expired.  So I basically had very little canned food. 

The corona mess has me thinking it might be a good idea to get some canned food at my long term storage food is in storage.  It is safe to say Walmart grocery delivery will go pretty quick if things get bad.  So will Uber and paratransit, and I will be left with no way to get food.  SO a good idea to get a week or so. 

I ordered it last night along with the usual groceries.  I also ordered a 22 pound bag of Iams. 

I need to divert for a minute.  Biscuit loves the Iams but it is not a urinary formula.  They HAVE one, though.  So I bought a small bag of Urinary formula Iams I can leave that out in addition to his prescription. 

The cats have lost some weight because Ron isn't treating them so much.  I would like to keep that up. 

So, I got people food and cat food ordered.  Happy about that. 

Did not sleep well last night, Ron choked on something and woke me up.  He sounded awful but it is a stroke thing, years ago he failed his "swallow test" and I was told I would have to feed him baby food the rest of his life.  Ron said "Hell, no" to that.  Normally he is OK but sometimes he gets a coughing attack. 

I got up and gave him some water, that worked.  Then this morning he yelled at me for giving him water and I told him to f-off.  If he wanted to drink the water he already had he should have done it. 

I took a shower, it is very sunny out but cooler.  My foot was a little unhappy with all that hiking around to the gas station the other day so I am trying to rest it and stay home. 

I had a headache and tried some Excedrin, and then a smoke.  It helped somewhat. 

I decided, I had some energy, I also had food coming.  I needed a place to put it: and that is my big problem with the house, I need a place to put it the second it comes in the house.  I don't always do that. 

So I decided to attack my big cabinet in the kitchen.  It can store a lot and for some God-awful reason I bought a lot of pots and pans when I got manic, for a while there.  I also had some really old cake mix, etc.  I went through and kept a sauce pan, 2 a small pot, a medium pot, rice pot, one Crock-pot, and my big skillet.  Everything else (3 armloads) went out to the curb and my trusty hoarders took it all away.  They are better than the trash company.  I threw away the cake mix. 

Then Ron went in the kitchen and did some drinking, he got pretty ugly and I finally asked him why he was alive.  What?!  I said, you are so miserable all the time, why don't you kill yourself?  What is your reason for living?  He couldn't answer. 

I took out some trash, when I came back he was talking to Baby Girl, so I would guess she is it.  My groceries came. 

I told them it was OK to substitute, just in case they had a run on the canned foods like they do around hurricanes.  I got the tuna and some of the canned food.  The 80 cent can of chicken alfredo I plan to try on Ron.  Some of my other items were out of stock so they sent me EIGHT Beefaroni and a couple Spaghetti and Meatballs.  I am not crazy about Chef Boyardee meatballs but I will be if I'm hungry enough, and I would rather have calories, fat, and protein in my pantry.  I took Ron back to his room and put it all away.  I had plenty of room, and plenty of room left. 

Ron was happy to hear I got more breakfast bowls and we have plenty in the freezer for now.  I will probably have a couple burritos and a glass of milk for dinner. 

Ron is quiet in his room, I still have my headache so I think I will try another smoke and then lie down for a while. 

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Wednesday afternoon

I didn't have a lot (for me) of canned food so I made a grocery order.  Just in case things get crazy, I have something to eat.  I am curious for Ron to try the Chef Boyardee chicken alfredo in a can. 

That arrives tomorrow.  I also got 2 of my curtain rods, the long one.  The poor mail carrier had to bring them, she is going to hate me and I need to get a large chocolate bar to put in the mailbox.  OK, I just added it to the order. 

Work was pretty uneventful, our delivery was late.  I was so glad he came when he did because "Cat Lady" at work was telling me one of the ferals is pregnant again.  I asked her (again!) why she won't get them fixed "I don't want to hurt them". 

I was about to say something really sharp when Jon showed up with my order so I broke off the conversation.  Here I am thinking about neutering the tom cat.  And he isn't even mine.  He sure wants to be and it's better for the neighborhood if he's fixed.  It would be about $100 with rides.  I could save that if I wanted... after I fix the roof.   I won't keep him but I might feed him a little now and then if Biscuit makes friends.  If Biscuit continues to hate him then I won't run him off, or encourage him. 

Anyway, I got out of that conversation and that is God's leading because I have gone off on her before saying she is condemning them to a horrible life of pain and suffering, dead, sick, and dying kittens, that is not how God wants us to treat our animals.  She just got huffy and walked off and a week later she is telling me the same old story of an out of control, sickly, feral, population.  I think she likes seeing the kittens run about but you have to be responsible. 

If I were really into kittens, and "normal" I could foster them.  A lot of kittens are taken from/lose their mother.  I am partial to seniors and "scaredy cats". 

I really love seniors, they have so much love to give. 

So I got food.  I need to get a big bag of Iams just to be safe, I have enough for a week or two but no longer.  I have tons of food for Biscuit, not worried about that. 

I have tomorrow off and arranged my delivery to come late enough I can sleep in, shower, get dressed, plenty of time to get ready, but still early enough.  I work Friday (well, we do) and then I do the accounting report this weekend.  They liked the last one well enough. 

Deliveries: I have a small curtain rod, 2 posters, and a charger for Ron inbound.  For some reason he is always killing his chargers.  And my chair cover but that comes a little later than the rest, and is fine.  I am pretty sure the cats are going to claw the (folding chair) cover but that is OK, I don't mind claw marks.  It just says, to me, "Cats live here".  Now, if I won the lotto would I buy leather couches or declaw?  Never. 

But I will lose them one day and I can look at the claw marks and remember them.  I've talked about this. 

I do need to figure out a shower curtain, I want something with a pattern, I plan to use a clear liner with it.  I want something that will let light into the shower because I usually bathe at 4 AM or so.  I don't want a plain clear curtain with no pattern.  I would like something that coordinates with lavender.  If you are bored hit me with a link and I will check it out. 

It is cold out still and the furnace is running.  I will say it is a very good furnace.  Ron has been asleep since I got up at 1 so he will probably be up all night.  I will try to feed him when he gets up. 

One thing I did order today: some protein bars he can eat if he gets hungry when I'm sleeping. 

This is not my cat

Biscuit is going to have a fit.  I have to admit he sure seems comfy.

Wednesday morning

"Chocolate kratom is one of the most relaxing strains".

My brain did not agree, it felt like I had 5 Mountain Dews.  I was lying in bed trying to sleep when my phone rang.

It was a blocked number so likely the police, about picking up the debit card I found yesterday.  But I specifically told the dispatcher "going to bed" so I guess that did not convey, I would have been angry if I was asleep. I hid the card outside and told them where, and it was gone this morning. 

All this just trying to be a good citizen.

I got up and looked at shower curtains.  Biscuit disputed that, got up on my keyboard, and put it in zoom text mode.  It was pretty funny, he was so pleased sitting on the keyboard.  I turned off the computer and went back to bed, eventually did sleep.

I am up now and will be going to work shortly.  I have a usb keyboard, I prefer them, and I moved the plug to the front of my cpu.  That way I can quickly yank the plug when Biscuit gets up on the keyboard, which he has done before.  He has learned it is a really good way to get attention.

Times like that (and Torbie scratching up furniture) I think one day I am going to miss this behavior.  I am only very mildly annoyed and never angry.

I think I get my orange chair cover today.  It goes over top of a folding chair and I have 2 in the front room at present.  If I like it I will buy another, maybe the red one in the list, and put that on the chair going in the orange room so I can do my God Time and have a place to rest when working out.  It doesn't have to be plush.  And the covers are washable.

And cheap, if they shred it I can just buy another.  Apparently these are popular at events like weddings.  I don't know about using orange as a wedding color, though.  I did purple, lavender, and white roses in my bouquet which I just now realized is in storage.  I did fake flowers, that way I get to keep them and WAY more affordable.

I am looking forward to getting my stuff back but it's going to be one hell of a cleanout.  I will make a video at some point.  And, happily, enough money for a dumpster.

You may not know the clean out left me with one pair of work boots, and a pair of fake crocs.  I developed some foot issues from the work boots so I have been putting baking soda in the shoes.  Cleo likes to play with my shoes so I figured baking soda would be about as safe as I could get.  It makes my feet very dry which is sort of the idea.

But they were getting rough and cracked.  I very seldom use lotion, but when I do I have a generic version I like I get at Walmart, in the brown bottle.  It is about a dollar and has cocoa butter and petroleum jelly in it.  I have found I don't like lotions with glycerin.  They are too sticky.  The brown bottle, whatever it is, is good for my needs.

I have also noticed the back of my hands look really old and dried out.  So, this morn... Biscuit came back and stayed until I left for work. 

Went to work, did that, came home.  Exhausted, slept 4 hours.  It is cold, sunny, and windy but I'm warm inside. 

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

And, there's the depression...

Just like a switch flipped... it does that sometimes. 

I am glad I had the front room decor picked out, you can check the wish list if you want.  I plan to put the turquoise cushions on the couch with the orange slip cover and the orange cushions (the furry ones) on the one with the navy slipcover.  I went with textured pillows for Ron to have some texture. 

I got all that picked out, so I know what to get now.  Ugh.  Now it is "crawling out of the black hole" time.  I guess I will go do up my pills for a week with some kratom, which I have found is a good adjuvant to my prescription therapy. 

The link is in my sidebar if you are curious. 

Tuesday afternoon

So I basically googled where can I send a fax in my zip code?  It told me the Fed Ex office on Greens road, which isn't far.  Great, I thought, but I'd better call.  So I called and Fed Ex told me "You can't, there, but you can send a fax at this store instead".  Interestingly enough that was the facility where I faxed my mortgage documents 16 years ago.

I did have to give up my social to get the mortgage.

Anyway, I put the information in my phone and arranged a Uber.  I waited in line and they told me they had a self serve fax area I would have to use.  It took me a while to get change, and figure it out, but I did.

I got the damn thing faxed, it said "complete" and I got a confirmation.  So I should be done now.

I went to the smoke shop to get more hemp cigarettes since Ron was buying.

I had taken my mood stabilizers, earlier, with a protein shake.  That was, apparently, not enough to hold it and I got pretty nauseous.

I also found a water mark on the ceiling away from the pipes so I will need to replace the roof the next couple months.  That did a really good job of killing my mania.

So I got to the store I got a couple packs (they will last me forever), and a little incense (not much because still queasy).  I talked to my aunt while I waited at the bus stop.

I found a debit card when I got off the bus.  I picked it up and took it home.  I called the non emergency police number and they said they would send out an officer to get the card and return to the owner (a woman).  She must have kept her bus card and the debit card in a back pocket and pulled both out when she went to board the bus.

I am sure she will be happy to get it back.

I really like coming home now the colors are so nice.  I am still waiting on the police.  I am sure the neighbors will wonder about that.

Ron called the cable company, apparently he is ordering movies when drunk.  He had them turn that off.  They said they were sending someone out tomorrow for something, not sure why.  They come after work.

Work shouldn't be too bad tomorrow, it has been pretty slow.

Hopefully I can go to bed early tonight.  I am still moderately queasy but not about to vomit like I was earlier.  Ron suggested I have s smoke, I reminded him it is a cannabis products.  A legal one, but still cannabis, and I might get into trouble for doing that around an officer.

My arm hurts where I pulled the forearm muscle hauling Ron out from the bed.

I should have taken a photo

I got permission to tell this one before I started typing. 

I did not sleep well last night, that's what I'm trying to tell you, I'm not sleeping.  Ron woke me up a couple of times in serious pain so I gave him some Kratom which did the job.  I went back to sleep, slept in, woke up at 8:30 which is pretty late for me. 

I got up doing my usual things and I heard a lot of effortful grunts from Ron.  I figured he was searching for something between his bed and the wall.  You know that place in your home where everything goes?  That is Ron's place.  Mine is probably the front room. 

The grunts began to escalate so I asked Ron if he needed help.  Yes, he shouted.  So I went back and found his whole torso and arms between the bed and the wall, just two legs sticking up in his underwear.  He had slipped between the bed and the wall. 

It took a couple minutes.  I asked him, a couple times, if he wanted me to call someone to pull him out but he was embarrassed and basically said he would rather handle it at home, if at all possible. 

I finally pulled the bed away from the wall, got behind it, got Ron up that way.  He is profoundly grateful.  I pulled my arm muscle again but I got it done. 

I need to do some arm work.  But this is why I can't leave him.  And that is why they created jury duty exemptions for someone like me.  I am even thinking I will hire someone to stay with him when I go to Galveston this year. 

I would sleep a lot better knowing he had someone who could get him up.  Get a big guy. 

Anyway, I put him in his wheelchair "I need a drink" and he rolled off to the kitchen.  The sad thing he said, about the whole incident, was his complete sobriety.  He couldn't blame it on vodka as he had not begun drinking yet. 

While I had the bed in front of me I stripped it, did a load of laundry, and remade it with a fresh vinyl sheet with a cloth sheet topper.  It is comfortable but water proof. 

For whatever reason, which Ron does not want checked out, he needs it so I will of course provide.  The vinyl sheet is only $5 and money well spent, that should last for years.  And I just got him back into bed.  He is good for a while. 

When I went to Stripes to fax my jury duty they said they weren't sure if it went through.  A google search says the Fed Ex shipping center near my home does faxing, I will call and verify.  But I may just go there and fax it again to be sure.  I don't need a $500 ticket. 

So I will probably go there first (after calling), then go to the store and get more hemp smokes.  Ron said he would buy the smokes.  I will take him up on it because he is the source of many headaches! 

So there you go, you can take that away with you as you finish reading, the sight of Ron between the bed and the wall with his legs waving in the air "I don't know how I did that". 

Neither do I. 

Monday, February 24, 2020

Today was pretty funny

I didn't sleep well last night, Ron woke me up a couple times eating crackers which made me glad I had got them.  He wanted juice but it didn't sit well. 

We both decided it was better if he stayed home, close to the toilet.  He had made a mistake making his trips last night so we didn't have a ride anyway. 

I took a Uber to work, did it all, went to the bank, did that, came home, Ron was fine by now.  He gave me some money so I decided to go to Walmart.  I had a pretty serious headache so I smoked a hemp thing which helped.  I am glad I did try them. 

Tomorrow ideally I will go get a couple more packs.  They are a lot cheaper than a prescription. 

Once I felt better another Uber and off to Walmart, made a deposit (now I can buy 2 posters!), and did a little shopping at Walmart.  I didn't get much, but I did get various poster adhesives.  One will stick if you'll pardon a bad pun. 

I stopped by McDonald's on my way out.  I ordered my usual double cheeseburger just ketchup, 2 of them, and 2 plain double hamburgers for Cleo. 

They gave me the order and I checked it.  They gave me two double cheeseburgers for Cleo.  You cannot remove that cheese from the patty, it's impossible, we have been through this at home with a VERY frustrated little girl at my feet squeaking for her burger. 

So I pitched a minor fit saying I needed two PLAIN double hamburgers.  I said, give me four patties with no bread and I'm happy.  I'm sorry to be a diva but it's for my cat and she hates cheese. 

WHAT?  Yeah, and then I got out the phone and then showed them a photo.  They went back and did it again.  I checked, it was fine, I thanked them and left. 

I hated to play customer from hell but Cleo can't eat cheese - won't - detests it.  I called a Uber, went home, put my stuff away. 

I had gotten Ron a ton of the equate mocha nutritional shakes as he loves them, says they taste "like candy" and will slurp up a couple a day if I provide them.  Good, I will buy as many as he will drink. 

So I got those done, gave Ron a cheeseburger, and went in search of Cleo.  I found her outside.  I called her and she came over, but didn't want to go inside.  I broke off bits of the hamburger and put them on a cinder block.  When she realized what I had done she leapt up on the block and began gobbling.  She was very happy and made a point of rubbing against me several times, afterward.  I went back in the house and put the three and a half patties into four separate bags, one in the fridge, the rest in the freezer.  Now we are set on burgers for a couple of weeks. 

I am really happy I did that. 

Once I had everything settled I took a nap, slept pretty well for a couple of hours, woke up to Cleo in the bed with me.  I heart that cat so much.  She is such a little survivor. 

We got up and the Amazon delivery came.  Not all of it.  Did Amazon screw up?  Did Mom?  I looked on my list and it said "Someone may have bought this for you" so I decided to wait a day before ordering the "missing" item, which was $40.  I didn't want to have to buy it if I didn't need it. 

I decided to treat myself to 2 posters (I had already bought the curtain rods which pretty much totaled what Ron had given me), and did that.  I got the green forest with the stream and the fall forest.  Shipping was pretty steep, $20, which explains how the poster price is so low.  But I had a coupon so both posters came to about $50.  I can live with that.  I will not be buying many. 

The doorbell rang.  Ron shouted "Go Away!".  I opened it and found the last curtain item, the most expensive one.  Good.  Now I have all the curtains.  The hardware should come in a couple of days. 

So, that's done.  I have plenty of food and I bought some snack items at Walmart today.  And Ron just asked for another shake, which I was happy to give him.  He likes pretty much any nutritional shake in the mocha flavor.  He drinks it with a straw.  I will be really happy if I can get a couple into him every day. 

He likes the Equate brand best, the 8 ounce.  I got 18 of them today! 

Lumber Liquidators called me today, it was a local number.  I picked it up, the voice couldn't pronounce my last name.  It is not difficult.  But he told me all the order was ready except for the trim and did I want to wait on delivery until the trim arrived?  I said yes I would wait.  No sense having the guys out for part of the job.  He said the next truck came in a couple of days so it sounds more like I will be getting my order in a week vs. 2 to 3 like I thought. 

I also found out I had bad math.  I thought my last check to Carlos was $2,800 but it is $2,300 and change.  That is not counting the deposit check which already cleared.  So that makes a dramatic adjustment to the budget.  I am not spending it until the check clears.  After that clears I have my last payment to Carlos after flooring is done and then I can hire the dumpster and set up the return of my stuff.  So that's good.  But it makes me glad I am getting my curtains and hardware now so the guys can install them when they're out.  I will offer them extra money but I doubt they will want any.  It will look so nice once it's set up. 

I will definitely have enough to hire the dumpster, very happy about that. 

Bibles and most bookcases will go out in the garage.  Most of the clothes are the wrong size and going away.  Those two will clear up quite a bit in my house, and then just getting rid of useless crap that is not disaster or immediate use related. 

I was touched Baby Girl came and yelled at me for treats just now.  I of course provided them, and Torbie showed up so I got her too.  BG is more Ron's cat but she realizes I am "staff". 

I wonder how many stars the cat would give me, on Google. 

Just for fun

Next time I get paid I can buy an inexpensive art poster or two, to put up. 

I have a couple of contenders. 

Forest Creek

Green Forest Creek

Green cat

Autumn stream

Let me know what you think... I can cut back on some Mountain Dew to get 1-2.  I am liking the last one a lot. 

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Sunday night

My curtains are on the way! 

I do need to buy the rods, which is still awesome. 

So: my day.  I went to the Chinese restaurant, got some takeout, eggrolls for Ron and a large house fried rice for me.  They gave me a huge, heavy, sack.  I will get several meals out of my fried rice.  I had my returns for Home Depot as well in a discreet bag, I hauled it all over to the store and returned it. 

I went and looked around.  I couldn't find anything like the shelf/towel bar combination I had over the toilet.  I don't want a big cabinet up there because I am realizing my bathroom felt very cluttered because I had a lot of crap, over door storage racks, etc.  It was overwhelming at times. 

Later on I did find some metal spray paint in... you guessed it satin nickel.  It was $7 I could afford that.  I am going to see if Carlos can take the current shelf down, spray it, and put it back.  I got a doormat for the cat door, they like to track in mud.  I looked at paint chips for the kitchen.  I am thinking navy and cream.  I taped up a couple of ideas on the cabinets, now I just need to do some research to see how easy will it be to do the cabinets painted.  I would have Carlos back for that, some months from now, to do it. 

I called a Uber and came home, put everything away.  I gave Ron a protein shake. 

Ron: chicken nuggets, corn dog, 2 protein shakes, and an eggroll today.  The shakes have vitamins in them.  I am happy. 

He loves all mocha protein shakes, every mocha flavor.  That is great for me to know, I just need to keep them in stock.  He likes the equate ones, 8 ounce.  That is a good size for him, not too big. 

I took a nap, woke up with a pretty bad headache.  I got one of my new hemp smokes and tried that, a "Stunna" in a red package.  It was about a third cost of what I paid for the first pack of hemp smokes.  It worked very well.  I am very happy and will absolutely buy them again. 

I called my parents at the appropriate time and she said she had bought and shipped the curtains, they will arrive tomorrow.  Good.  I really like that shade of purple. 

Now I just need to get the rods, but I can do that.  They haven't watched the house tour video yet but said they would when they hung up.  I did check the video, I have captioning up now and it got most of my conversation correct.  Nothing in there to upset them. 

Biscuit got up in my lap during the conversation and was very cuddly, but he did fart at one point.  I don't know what it is about a cat fart that makes them so evil but it was pretty ghastly.  Of course I have white cat hair all over my navy nightgown.  I find that pretty funny. 

Ron and I discussed trips for tomorrow and I assumed he had made them.  He did not.  So he has to call and spend a favor (he gets 5 a month) and beg for a ride tomorrow.  He is pretty frustrated with God right about now. 

Speaking of God, I am going to order some Bibles for my helpers.  I was looking online earlier. 

That's it for now. 

Sunday Morning

I will have to leave the house a little later, Ron begged me for eggrolls when I go to Home Depot.  

HD does not provide eggrolls, but they have a restaurant next door that opens at 12.  He was nice enough asking I will do it.  

Last night, not great.  He woke me up several times, I took advice and told him, last time, I was going to take his vodka if he woke me up again.  He was dead quiet after that.  

At one point he asked me for food.  I told him off and said he had all day to eat.  He is not diabetic.  I would do that again.  

When he got up I gave him some peanut butter crackers (packaged), he can eat those at night if he gets hungry.  He was happy to get them and apologetic about waking me up so much.  He was very decent this morning.  I also made him one of his favorite meals, corn dog with chicken nuggets.  

I was thinking today, if I seem a little rough lately  it is probably sleep deprivation.  I am not sleeping well on the cot and basically getting the minimum every night.  Hopefully that will resolve when I get my bed back.  

It is really nice to have my washer and dryer again, in a nice fresh laundry room.  I have a small tropical poster I plan to mount in there.  I think it will be cute, if it works out I will take a photo.  

About photos: after my diagnosis I had 2 months before I was able to obtain medication.  I had a lot of time to research therapies and side effects.  One thing that kept coming up: lithium causes a hand tremor.  I do a lot of things with my hands.  I told God I was OK with a tremor as long as I could do my crafts, computer, and work.  And I can.  But the tremor makes it hard to take photos some days.  Yesterday was a good example.  I have a decent camera in my cell phone but I couldn't hold it still.  Those days, I generally figure blurry is better than nothing and take it anyway.  

Some days are just bad for my hands but so far I have always been able to use the computer and work.  My fine motor wasn't always great to begin with and now it is pretty laughable.  

I remember I had a lot of evaluations as a child and teen.  They were baffled I had a very high verbal IQ but a terrible one on performance, actually using what I had.  That persists.  Now we know it is a Fetal Alcohol thing but they weren't really cognizant.  I did not get diagnosed until age 17.  They kept it a big secret and did not tell me I was disabled.  Don't be that parent.  

I did some work stuff after I got up, and then I took a shower.  My cycle decided to show up early yesterday but didn't impede me any.  Just makes me glad I do have a washer and dryer.  It reminds me of when my cycle first started at age 13, it was very unpredictable for years.  I guess this is how it ends.  

I really love my happy purple bathroom.  It is so much better with a white vanity.  I had Carlos paint the medicine cabinet as well.  It was perfectly functional, and I like it, but the dark fake wood had to go.  I told him either purple or white surprise me and he did white.  

All the other rooms are great and just feels so much lighter in here.  My aunt talked about, basically,  feeling renewed after painting, I don't really feel that but it is a lot less depressing in here.  That's a win.  I have not crashed into depression yet but I have the orange room to refresh myself when I am.  Or any of the other rooms are a lot more positive colors than beige and white.  I don't like a stark white but the cream is perfect.  

It took me over a month to find the right cream.  I went with "Thickened Cream" Behr Marquee paint in a semigloss.  The finish makes it much brighter in here.  

I had a huge mirror on the wall in the bathroom and it was moved around a lot but not damaged.  It was remounted Friday and it is nice to have it back.  

I found it useful, for instance, applying deodorant and making sure I overlap.  I end up using way more if I don't have a mirror.  Nice to have all the details lining up.  

Now I just need to get that ceiling done!  I did a really terrible job painting back in 2004.  

I did the math and I will JUST have enough to rent a dumpster when flooring is done, then I can do a big purge.  For instance, I am going to put my aunt in charge of clothes.  Anything below a size 20, 2X, or size 10 underwear goes.  I have a lot of clothes.  That will weed out a good 2/3 of it.  

Disaster stuff is likely all staying, I do need to get rid of some of it but not much.  I plan to give my aunt a bucket of supplies.  

Bibles are going on the bookcase out in the back of the garage.  I will actually be ordering some more pretty soon here to distribute to my various helpers.  

Changes: all bookcases save one are going in the garage.  I had a bunch in the front room and one in the bedroom.  Bibles are going in the garage.  Loveseats in the front room (hope I have the budget to get the slip covers).  My dresser is going in front of the small window you see in the cats on the cot photo.  I will have shorter curtains on that window and pull the blinds up a bit so cats can get up there and watch the yard.  

The nice thing about the timing on this, like after my diagnosis, I have had time to think things out so I can do it when I have movers ready and willing to place my items anywhere I want.  That is a huge blessing.  I will have a dumpster and can literally go through the items (with help) before they go in my house.  That's going to result in a lot of purging and things are going to look great.  

I had a bad habit, as most do, of buying a lot of crap when I was manic, before I got my medication right.  Now medication is right (I really believe my current issues are sleep related) I'm not bringing stuff in like I used to, I can manage it all after a good purge.  

I am not going to try to donate or sell items, it will take too much time and effort.  For instance, I am on a survivalist board.  I mentioned I had a canning thing that is worth at least $75.  They have a lot of board members in Houston.  NOT ONE wanted it.  I am not hanging on to a bunch of crap like an albatross because I don't want my internal voice yelling at me for "wasting" it.  

I don't GAF.  Goodbye!  

I may sell bookcases if I have extra, do that on Next door, but not individual items.  I am sure the trash pickers will have a field day with the dumpster and I don't care as long as they don't spread stuff all over the yard.  

I can start thinking about all this now because the end is in sight.  I was really glad I donated the "gym" equipment because it rained horribly the last couple weeks and the guys were able to use the power tools and store baseboard in the garage.  They could not have done that.  And it sounded like a good ministry.  The guys were so excited to get it Ron remarked on it several times.  I think he was a little upset I gave away his gift, but understood and was fine with it once he heard, literally, it was going where it would be valued.  

Ron is going to be really glad to get the furniture back, he keeps getting lost in the house.  He is basically living in his room as a result.  Unless he gets drunk, then he goes out, gets lost, and begs for help.  So I have to have a bookcase in one area and then a wood framed love seat in another.  

Not much going in the orange room other than my personal Bible study materials.  It already has the exercise bike which is pretty meaty.  I plan to basically have one half of the room for Bible study and prayer, the other half for working out.  Body and soul.  

Ron's room was unaffected but needs a good purge of it's own.  Ideally I can do that while we have the dumpster although I don't think it's THAT bad.  I need to change his sheets and remake it with a fresh rubber, and cloth, sheet.  But he is pretty accommodating and will get in the wheelchair while I do that, I can wash the cloth sheet and wipe down the rubber one.  

My room is finally going to look put together for a change.  As I said, worst case I will buy the curtain rods and have them mounted while I can, then save up, buy the curtains (my stepmother may buy all of them, which would be great) and I can put those up anytime.  It's going to be great.  

It is funny how God (and the insurance company) gave me just enough money to repair the damage.  I will also get the new shower curtain eventually but the one I have is, as my Dad would say, "adequate".  

That's it for now, I am going out in about an hour and a half.   

Saturday, February 22, 2020

3 pack

I got some nice incense today

For some reason God put it in my head a local gas station had a fax machine.  What the heck, I thought.  I called.  They had one and were happy to let me use it. 

Awesome. 

I didn't sleep well last night, the cats knocked the broom over and Ron needed me.  And then I woke up at 6.  Well, shit. 

And I was up, my body does it.  I could sleep as long as I wanted but my body wanted up at 6:30.  So I got up, helped Ron, etc. 

I left around 11 and walked over.  All I have for walking are my work boots.   So I put those on, along with jeans, tshirt, hoodie. 

I went to the store, they got the manager which, as it turns out, is the woman I spoke to earlier.  She faxed it, but says it doesn't give a confirmation when something goes through. 

I got a snack and then walked to the head shop, it was a longer walk for work boots and not stable footing either. 

I also passed, for a long length, an electric fence which I concluded surrounded an auto dealership.  It was depressing, the first time I have ever had to walk by an electric fence. 

I finally got to the shop, he was busy with 2 other customers.  I picked out some incense, rose, pumpkin spice, and some leather because Ron likes leather scent.  He had a nice leather jacket when he worked in San Francisco, it made him a little daring, I felt. 

He finished by the time I was ready.  I got a pipe with a flat bottom, for $8.  I also got some more hemp cigarettes because they are fantastic on my migraines.  The other day just one totally killed my headache.  Permanently. 

And the incense of course.  I got a free "loosey" as well. 

I caught the bus home.  The bad dog is still around and makes me very uncomfortable.  I do not have my stun gun it is in storage. 

I got home OK.  I put my stuff away and helped Ron.  Got online for a while and burned some incense, cleaned up my ash catcher too.  I have not had any hemp. 

I did some cleaning and Ron actually gave me something to throw away, which I did.  We talked about replacing the toilet and I told him the budget is not going that far, he said we would pay for it ourselves, which would be great because I am sick of flushing with a bucket.  He also told me to stop paying him for the root canal, $100 a month, which is only fair in retrospect as I am paying Dad.  Asking me to cough up 25% of my pay to bills is a little unreasonable.  And I will either spend it on the house or the cats, anyway. 

Not to mention, I forgot to adjust the little lever in the shower, I was standing in the tub fully dressed and turned on the cold water tap, and got BLASTED with cold water all down my back.  Not Happy about that.  I am still soaked but happily cell phone is OK. 

We have a shelf/rack in the bathroom above the toilet.  It is chrome, 35 years old to the best of my knowledge, looking pretty ragged.  He asked me about it.  I asked Ron if he wanted a towel bar on whatever I put over the toilet.  He said yes.  I told him I couldn't find a rack (in white) with a towel bar underneath and he asked if I could just paint the chrome.  I will look into that. 

I talked to my aunt a couple times today and will talk to my parents later.  I sent an adorable photo of Biscuit in the drywall to her and she loved it. 

Biscuit apparently has made the space under the tub "his" space, and watching him come out I am pretty sure he is the one who loosened that fitting on the connector.  So we will need to close that up a little sooner than I thought. 

But overall a good day, very limited caffeine usage so I should sleep great tonight. 

I need to figure out what I'm doing this weekend.

I need to go to Stripes, of all places, and fax my jury duty form.  They didn't have a fax machine at work. 

I need to go to Home Depot, return some things, get some others. 

I need to go to Walmart and get some hangers. 

I need to move, what paint is left, to the garage.  Carlos & friend annihilated 4.5 gallons of cream paint, most of a gallon each of: orange, lilac, and aqua seawind.  3 gallons of primer (most of it) and a gallon of trim paint.  I think we can agree it looks good. 

But I need ceiling paint and more trim paint.  Maybe Home Depot has hangers so I can skip Walmart. 

I also need to go to the head shop and get more hemp stix. 

It was sure nice putting the clothes away in my closet (the ones I could hang) this morning, nice and clean from the washer/dryer.  I don't take that for granted, running water, all of it. 

I hope I am a more grateful, appreciative person out of this. 

I admit I did not have much respect for people who come here from Mexico mainly due to bad neighbors I have had, including #6.  There, I admitted it.  No one died. 

But everyone but the plumber (and even his assistant one day) have been latino.  Most of them only spoke Spanish, but they were all extremely kind, very hard workers, skilled at their jobs, and nice people.  The guys were very nice about the cats, all of the guys. 

I have to see that.  I have to see they are really the only ones helped me (except my Dad and aunt).  Ron even called a friend who does home repair for a hobby, literally begging the guy to please come out and help - the man is unemployed - Ron offered to buy him a plane ticket... crickets.  That guy was white. 

But Carlos came out in 2 hours after I submitted a request for a bid and had the bid to me in 12 hours, was there early nearly every day.  He quoted me HALF what the other guys did which means I can actually have enough money to finish the job. 

Ron's room isn't going anywhere and we can always get it done later.  The cats like the holes in the wall as you can see. 

I am getting it done.  Now I have to go feed Ron a breakfast bowl.  I never mind him eating one because they are loaded with protein and healthy fats. 

Biscuit freaked me out

 Something alive in the wall.  Saw him out of the corner of my eye.

Friday, February 21, 2020

It's Friday, not Saturday like I thought all day

I went all day thinking it was Saturday and only figured it out when I called my parents. 

Although I am sure they were interested to hear I just spent $1200 on flooring.  $1275 to be exact, but that comes with underlayment, installation tools, the the little doorway spacers.  I will have my tour of the house video up shortly.  It features a few cats. a lot of cream colored paint, and some satin nickel fixtures.  .

It's done. 

Today was pretty uneventful for work. 

Ron needs some memory care with it but I did that and have adjusted expectations.  I think some of his memory problems may be related to his use of the painkillers.  Hopefully that will resolve as it clears his system. 

We came home and I had a good nap, woke up with a nasty headache that made me want to crawl in a hole.  I had a Hemp Stix (cigarette) and that fixed it.  I need to get some more of those things. 

Then I bought the flooring, I already gave Carlos his deposit to do the work.  It will be 1-2.5 weeks.  It was only another hundred to have it delivered to the house so I did that. 

I got about 335 square feet of flooring, underlayment for 300 (Carlos told me I need 300), doorway trim - it goes on the floor between... don't know what it is called but it was $40 a piece.  I also got an installation kit for $20 because I wasn't sure if he had the tools.  Better to get it. 

Delivery and sales tax took care of the rest. 

My stepmother wants to buy me something for the house, so I fixed up my wish list - none of you told me I had the cloth pads on there!  I put that up on Facebook!  Embarrassed! 

Anyway, I put it up again:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/MEN0OZUC2AU3?ref_=wl_share with notes on what I needed so she can buy what she wants, curtains and hardware or just curtains.  I will take what I get.  It will save me money whatever she buys. 

I am very happy with my selections they are very pretty and I can live with them for a long time. 

Budget will just cover repairs Ron is on his own for his room. 

So you have an idea what is going on with the house now. 

Thursday, February 20, 2020

I figured out my curtains.

Amazon wishlist

I need two of the long curtain rods, one short.  Lots of purple curtains in the bedroom.  I have always liked purple and a blackout curtain will be very nice, also help with the noise from next door.

Also some light fixtures (wishing, on those), and some switchplate covers for the laundry room.  If the budget allows I am getting it.

If the budget allows.

I need to put brackets.

Edit: comes with mounting brackets so not required

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

I shouldn't have checked the mail.

JURY SUMMONS

Oh, crap. 

But they have a clause on the back of the form I have used before, when Ron was in much better shape:

Is the primary caretaker of a person who is an invalid unable to care for himself or herself
Considering I just helped Ron on the toilet with some VERY personal business... I qualify. 

So I will fill out the form and send it back. 

If I were single I would be OK with serving, it is the public duty and all that, although from what I read I probably don't qualify on the "sound mind" clause.  I am open about being bipolar and a quick google will ferret that out; one reason, I think, they didn't want me when I did go for Jury Duty back in 2011 or so. 

But the timing on it is just crazy. 

I had an indepth discussion with the lady in charge of jury duty when they summoned Ron, sent her proof he was really that -ed up and she took him off the list "permanent". 

But I have to explain every time, and I am OK with that. 

Getting painted

It looks a million times better.  I should have done this a while ago.  It is so much brighter.

"Just give me a bed and a toilet"

I think it is time for a reminder. 

Before I married Ron I told him he had better be sure he could handle me the way I was because I didn't believe I would ever improve.  He made a sweet declaration and married me anyway. 

When my meds aren't right I get extremely irritable.  Ron got fed up and we were fighting a lot. 

He picked up his phone and called adult protective services, said he wanted to move out he was sick of me.  We didn't know I was bipolar. 

A very sweet lady called him back, name Penny.  She got a feel for the situation and asked Ron what he wanted.  "Just get me away from this woman!" he shouted "All I need is a bed and a toilet!" 

"We can do that" she replied.  She set things in motion and Ron was wait listed at a facility.  He was more independent back then so I believe it was an apartment where someone comes in now and then to do laundry and shopping. 

Then I was diagnosed and began medication.  This is all still processing for Ron, though.  I got my diagnosis and medication and began taking it faithfully. 

I improved, dramatically.  I remember Ron crying, "You're back" and hugging me so tightly I couldn't breathe.  He then went straightaway to his cell phone and called Penny, telling her I was "fixed" LOL and he didn't need to move. 

Ron is still able to pick up a phone and make a call.  And I am sure he would, if he wasn't happy. 

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Tuesday morning and afternoon

Well, the guys came and did the texture.  It did not take very long.  I told Carlos I was having trouble finding a guy to do the floor, showed him the sample. 

Apparently he meant "tile" when he said he didn't do floors.  That, he was willing to do.  We will talk about a quote, later on.  But he is willing. 

I am happy with what he has done so far, he finished hooking up the sink for me.  That was free by the way, one company quoted me $450 just to hook up the vanity and plumbing, and Mike the plumber practically licked his lips talking about "stubbing out" the plumbing for the connection between sink and pipe.  Carlos was able to do that with an inexpensive part and used the sink, a couple of times, to wash his hands.  Ron also ran water in it for a while and it is great. 

He also (Carlos, not Ron) did a good job with doors and those are getting painted tomorrow.  There is more I am forgetting because I had to smoke some hemp for a headache.  It worked, by the way. 

So I would hire him to do floors.  We will approach that later after he does the paint.  My one contractor rescheduled just on the estimate and the second one just rang and rang. 

The texture looks good and it is about impossible to see new wall vs old, which is the point.  The laundry room ceiling looks spectacular by the way, I can hardly wait to get it painted so I can show you. 

Carlos did tell me I wouldn't be able to use the computer tomorrow which is fine, I have my Kindle and will use that and my phone. 

I doubt the painting will take very long, there are 2 of them and they do this for a living. 

So they left and I played with my sink for a while, then got things ready for the paint. 

I gave Ron another protein shake, he is addicted to the mocha latte shakes, begs for them even.  They have 30 grams of protein, do not upset his digestion, and have lots of vitamins as well.  I am utterly thrilled he likes them so much. 

But I only bought one case.  I went to the Walmart online grocery web site and they don't have the shakes.  Yet.  Well, crap. 

So I got Ron settled and took a Uber.  I got 2 cases of the brand he likes and then shopped around various brands in the store.  They had a Slim fast, Ensure, Equate, and then the Premier Protein which is his favorite.  I got two of the PP and then one each of the rest, because Ron's nutrition has been horrible.  I am thrilled I found something he craves.  He was excited to hear about this when I got home, and is looking forward to sampling the other brands. 

He is normally quite resistant. 

I found some really awesome mauve t-shirts at Walmart in the Men's section.  I prefer a Men's shirt because it is looser, has a modest neckline and hemline, isn't always coming up and showing my belly or boobs.  And gives me freedom of movement AND very reasonably priced.  So I went hunting for more of these things because I love the 2 I got. 

I found one more, and a polo WITH A POCKET I was very happy about that.  Normally I don't wear polos but it is mauve, one of my favorite colors - one could say the new color of my bathroom (ahem).  So I got it and the t-shirt, plus the shakes.  I did not get any soda I think I will go with the caffeine instant drinks for a while, I have tons of them. 

I had a pretty bad headache and didn't think of my hemp smokes I carry.  I got a 96 cent bottle of generic headache tablets.  And took them at the register. 

I wanted ice cream, I went over to the section.  I found Blue Bell Salted Caramel Cookie: "A rich, creamy caramel ice cream with vanilla filled cookies and a salted caramel swirl."  I am about to go eat some.  I will let you know what I think. 

Very good.  I can't do nuts or chocolate but I can do this. 

We have to start locking the cat door at night

Went to bed, slept OK

EXCEPT

Ron had a little trouble getting to the bathroom.  OK with that, price of admission. 

And Pa came in.  We named him Pa because he is not fixed and likely the father of Cleo and Spotty (looks like a bigger version of Spotty). 

Biscuit does not like Pa.  Hates him quite intently.  They get into it every time. 

Pa wants to live here.  Biscuit does not want that. 

1.  I don't want another cat and
2.  Biscuit said no so it's done - no admission. 

BUT Pa figured out the cat door and apparently made it all the way over to the food bowl last night while Biscuit was out.  Then Biscuit came back and found Pa in the house eating HIS food... it didn't go well. 

Huge cat fight... and then Pa came back some time later.  Another cat fight, I think 3 total. 

So much for getting my sleep.  It ended with Biscuit perched on my cot right next to the cat door. 

So I will be locking the cat door at night, now.  I feel a little bad but the weather is VERY nice and pleasant, no real rain and they have shelters. 

I spent good money on the cat house, which Torbie has used on at least one occasion.  I also constructed some other shelters in the back yard. 

It is a shame but I need my sleep. 

Ron was pretty wasted this morning but is quiet right now.  The guys are here sanding, Carlos says he may be able to do my flooring which would be great.  He is diligent and takes pride in doing a good job so I think he would be fair and skilled.  He has done laminate which is pretty much the same thing. 

That would be great I would love to have one guy do all of it.  We both agreed $1500 was way too much for the job so I think he will be fair. 

Most people who get this flooring install it themselves because it is a pretty easy DIY job.  If you have a saw.  And are good using them which me, would just be a terrible idea.  Plus I have a bad knee so kneeling...

So we will see. 

I have decided, for now, NOT to do Ron's room.  He will buy me a vacuum and carpet shampoo machine and I will just use them as needed.  I don't want to ruin new flooring. 

I may buy the flooring material and keep it in the garage so I can install it eventually but not at this point.  We will see. 


Monday, February 17, 2020

Not Happy

My love language is quality time, so I am happy just being around someone I care about, even if it's just waiting on a bus. 

I feel like that was used against me, today. 

Ron wanted to "go to the kitchen".  He said he wanted some "juice" which of course turned into a large bottle of vodka.  He was actually angry when I gave him the juice. 

Then he sat in the chair drinking the vodka, with some water in a cup on the side, trying to talk to me.  I did, a little.  I shouldn't have and I won't again. 

It gives tacit approval, I realized later.  He kept drinking more and more vodka and I finally said I have to get up very early and you are NOT having a blackout.  He said the alcohol "wasn't as strong" if he took it with water.  I said 10 ounces is 10 ounces regardless of how much water you add to it, an individual drink may be "weaker" but the total amount consumed is considerable. 

He got angry.  I got angry.  He kept saying he was bored he broke his cable again, and has money for vodka but refuses to ante up $100 for a TV so I can fix his cable (he does not have a TV in his room).  So, priorities.  Now he's "bored" and figured he would drink himself into a blackout. 

I told him, he could take a Benadryl if he wanted to sleep but I was not going to put up with a blackout.  I had to get up early tomorrow and I need my sleep. 

This is one big reason I am reluctant to seek other employment.  He would, out of boredom, drink himself stupid every day, have blackouts, toilet dramas, falls, and injuries.  And he is too feeble to put in a day program. 

So, I told him I was done with him drinking and I walked off.  "Oh, I'm done" he says "Take me back to my room" (there are construction supplies on the way so better if I push him).  I go back "Oh, one more drink". 

I told him I was SICK of him playing games, I wasn't going to stand around waiting on him while he drank.  And that's what he wanted, me standing around, talking to him, tacit approval while he drank himself into a blackout because "It's not as strong if I have some water with it".  He had at least the equivalent of 7-8 shots while I watched. 

He blew up, cursed me out, nearly dropped the bottle, and finally consented to going back to bed.  But I figured it out, a lot later than I would have liked, that's what he wanted, me "taking him out to drink" and then helping him do it.  Because if I am OK with it he isn't an alcoholic, and doesn't have a problem. 

Then he tried to play games "I have your pay" but I already got it.  He can pay back savings whenever he wants but I am not going to play his little "Please Mr I need my paycheck" game with him - I had a boss do that and Ron was FURIOUS about it.  He is counting the money now, he asked to, but I wouldn't play his game. 

My pay is DAYS late and he was JUST FINE with that, which says a lot about who he is.  But he had money to get a vodka delivery the other day. 

He was so angry when I told him to hurry up.  And I am done taking him to the kitchen.  He doesn't need to be in the kitchen if I am feeding him all the time and bringing him drinks.  So I'm not taking him to the kitchen, he has this thing where he wants to sit up in the kitchen, I guess because, in his head, only a drunk drinks in the bedroom.  Drinking in the kitchen makes it classier.  That would be my guess.  The bedroom also reeks of urine, not surprisingly. 

All the adult males in Ron's life were alcoholics, growing up.  He said he despised them, when we were dating, and he would never allow himself to become that.  I stupidly believed him.  So I think the whole "drinking in the kitchen" game is just that, a game. 

I'm not taking him to the kitchen, I'm not standing around while he drinks.  If he is drinking I am going to walk away and if that means we miss a ride we miss it.  It will only happen once.  I am going to confront him on that, when he is sober, because I am sure there is a "rule" in there about "don't drink in the bedroom, but the kitchen is OK" and he needs to ERASE that.  He is urinating, willfully, on the floor.  He can certainly make a decision to drink in the bedroom instead of the kitchen.  He is well above and beyond rules of "proper". 

He is far less likely to fall if he is already in bed, as well. 

And I felt funny using the toilet chair, in his bedroom, when the guys were working (lithium is a diuretic). 

Monday morning

Well, some good news.  I found a cafe latte protein shake at Walmart when I went, 30 grams protein and a lot of vitamins and minerals.  I didn't use the word "protein".  I used the word "coffee shake" and he LOVES it, no bad reactions either. 

So I can finally get some protein into him.  I said I would love it if he drank a shake a day and he said he could absolutely do it.  Awesome. 

The cats are all pretty much over the cold/virus they passed around.  They are enjoying what has turned out to be a very nice day. 

Not so great news: Lumber Liquidators quoted me FIFTEEN HUNDRED IN LABOR for my job.  To be clear, it was a 2 stage job, stage one was 200 square feet, the second stage was a touch over 100 square feet.  The parts are going to be about $800 - then this?   I don't know what they are smoking vinyl plank is an EASY install all you need is a saw.  No freaking way. 

I did get a quote for $700 which I will probably take they are highly reviewed.  That would be in addition to my material cost.  And delivery... eek. 

I will get some other quotes, though. 

Ron peed on the side of the bed, floor again.  I called him on it, as nicely as possible "You said the carpet is trashed anyway" he replied sullenly.  Not happy about that attitude. 

And sales are terrible at work. 

I didn't sleep well last night but managed to work this morning.  The kratom supplier fixed my order and sent the rest of it out today.  I should get it probably Wednesday.  Thursday at the latest, they are in "San Antone".  It is unclear what exactly was sent but if I get a small sample pack (what I was owed) I will be happy. 

We went in this morning, stocked what we could (not much).  The only thing of note, a woman walking around like a zombie, very slow and sluggish.  She required assistance.  "Oh, I'm so sick" she said, breathing in my face "I feel terrible."  She couldn't even speak properly. 

WHY DON'T THEY STAY HOME?  She has been there at least 20 YEARS and has sick leave!  Why?!  Because she is CHEAP and GREEDY and wanted the double-time pay today.  So Ron and I may get sick all so she could get $40 an hour instead of $20. 

THANKS A LOT. 

Carlos texted me he would come tomorrow which isn't a problem.  I will probably have flooring guys out to the house tomorrow anyway, to bid. 

Ron still wants to go to the doctor for his prostate so I will encourage him to make an appointment when he finishes in the bathroom.  It is a lot easier getting him in and out now.  Glad we asked, he was happy to do it.  We just need to patch that little hole in the tile. 

Well, I'm happy, Ron asked for help going to the bathroom so he wouldn't mess up the floor again.  I was happy to oblige.  He said he wants to see a doctor but not quite at the point of making an appointment.  He is having trouble emptying his bladder so he definitely needs some medication. 

I know enough about seniors to know that bladder infections can cause some SEVERE behavior issues. 


Sunday, February 16, 2020

"Where are the face masks"

I took a Uber to Walmart after making sure Ron was settled. 

I went to my bank and made my deposit.  Then the shopping. 

I found some satin nickel over door hooks I like for $3 and I am an over door hook fiend.  I am not sure if the doors will be painted so I didn't mount them yet but happy to see them.  I do want all my metals to match as much as possible and satin nickel finish seems to be popular everywhere. 

I saw some over the toilet organizers but I am on the fence about them.  I worry they will make the room look crowded or Ron might knock them over.  So I didn't get any. 

I saw a guy looking at hand held showers and I told him to spend a little more than he wanted, it would be worth it, I loved my shower and it was worth every penny.  He put the nicer one in his cart. 

If I were better socially, and could drive, I might have a career in sales. 

I got some Mountain Dew and a Monster for Javier.  I got some hand soap which I am looking forward to using.  I went to the pharmacy, because, to quote the Hokey Pokey "That's what it's all about". 

Getting my pills. 

A long line.  I saw 3 women cut the line and go up to the clerk directly, one kept bothering him until she had had enough attention, then she went over to the diabetic supplies which were plainly visible.  One woman wanted sanitizer (they had recently rearranged) and the last one was freaking out about face masks. 

I wanted to say "If you are serious about staying healthy you should stay home and avoid crowds" but I didn't.  I finally got up to the front, the clerk knows me and had already input my information.  His only question was I Heather or Harriet because he only remembered the first initial.  Harriet is diabetic and apparently diligent about taking her medication, and often has a refill when I do.  We also share the same birthday so it can get confusing. 

We checked everything because it's crazy pills.  Glad he gets it.  Everything was accurate.  $36 for one month of 3 drugs and 3 months of another.  I will have doc fix that next time.  I paid up, put everything in my backpack, and off to the shopping.  I didn't get much, 2 bags and that includes 4 six packs of diet dew and a big package of toilet paper.  I did get some more frozen food.  Ron is on a corn dog kick lately so we are doing a lot of them. 

He loves his juice and has no idea it has sweet potato, carrot, and beet juice in with the fruit flavors.  I am never going to tell him, either.  I did get another juice. 

I went by the deli and got him some chicken strips, checked out. 

I went to McDonald's and ordered two double cheeseburgers with just ketchup, and one plain double hamburger.  You can imagine my disgust when, Cleo begging at my feet, I opened "her" burger only to find it had cheese.  She hates cheese and won't eat it even if you scrape it.  So no burger for Cleo.  I felt like a horrible mother because I just checked the little post it on her burger, which had the accurate information.  Next time I will unwrap and open her burger.  Poor little nut! 

I got a ride home, he said he had been hanging out in the parking lot and taking everyone home.  I thought that was great. 

He helped me get everything in the garage and then I put it away, gave Ron his food.  I ate my burger and took my pills, then a nap.  I slept like the dead, a lot of good sleep today.  11 hours last night and 2 hour nap.  I only got up because I had a headache. 

Oh, and I got some dusting cloths for the blinds.  I noticed they are really bad and to be honest I don't think I have ever cleaned them.  So I will work on that when I finish here.  We work tomorrow morning, come home, text Carlos.  He will come and texture the walls. 

I told the manger at the bank about Carlos and she wanted his number.  I would love to boost his business.  I made a point of telling her what a great job he did fixing the hole in my ceiling. 

Anyways, I had better go do that dusting while I have the energy. 

Oh, and there's a cricket in my bedroom.  That is going to make for an interesting night if the cats don't eat him. 

I had to go back to Home Depot

4 doors were ruined when my house flooded.  I had to throw them out.  

Carlos said he could get me new doors installed with trim at about $150 each.  That included the door.  Well, I took that offer because I know doors are a pain to install - we had the new front door installed back in 2012 after the house got robbed and it was a real pain for the guys.  

BUT he said I was on my own for doorknobs.  I was OK with that, I did not want the gold tone doorknobs, I wanted satin nickel.  He's coming back Monday, I had to get the knobs.  

So, I had to go.  And I have been thinking for a while about the laundry room.  I would like to have some color in there.  I love aqua.  

Now, let me tell you about the time I got my room painted.  I was a kid, in Virginia.  They painted my room yellow with an orange and yellow shag rug.  I loved it.  But we moved and I had a plain white room for a year or two.  

I used to visit my good grandma every year and that would take a week or two.  So my stepmother said she would paint the room while I was gone, what color did I want?  I said aqua, and came back to light blue.  NOT happy.  

Anyway I have always liked aqua.  So I thought that would be nice in there, I keep the door shut most of the time and am not in there for long so the color will not overpower.  

I had a color chip I had picked up a few weeks back, thinking about it.  

I liked it, I decided, while at the store, I would get a gallon.  The laundry room is not large.  Maybe 10 X 4 feet.  A gallon is plenty.  

I needed dinner as well, what to eat?  I decided the Home Depot has a good Chinese restaurant next door.  I would take a Uber there, get some takeout, go to HD and then home.  

I did that.  

I got the knobs first, they were $20 each so I can see why Carlos said that was on me.  I got 3 of them.  We were able to move one door and for now I am cheaply keeping that knob - a rubbed brass look.  But all the rest are satin nickel.  

Then I went to paint, and got the aqua and another small sample for Ron's room.  I want a little grayer light blue for him.  

The guy wasn't Pablo, my usual paint guy, but I think he did OK.  The aqua looked good at any rate and is semigloss like I wanted.  For some reason the store has the policy if I have a glidden chip it has to be glidden paint.  I can see the point but it is a little annoying.  

But I am sure I, or the next homeowner, will be sick of the aqua by the time it goes.  

Then I went to the tile/flooring area.  I looked at the vinyl planks, some were cute but they are still all about $2.25 a square foot.  LL and HD have those prices, Floor and Decor is more.  

I picked up a few samples anyway and then went over to the tile.  I was thinking to get some mosaic tile Carlos can cut to fit the "hole" in the floor since he took out the wall to widen the door.  It is causing some trouble for Ron.  I found 2 likely ones, one was $4 for a big sheet and one was $3.  I went ahead and got both and Carlos can pick.  I got adhesive, good for floors or walls, it said, some grout that is close to my current grout, and a spreader?  I am not sure what you call it, the flat trowel with the serrated edges.  I have never seen tiling done without one.  Now he has his drywall tool that might work but it was $3.  $3.  I am not going to get stupid over $3.  

Then I got a few sodas and checked out.  I got a Uber pretty quick, about 5 minutes.  He was really sweet and a big help so I gave him a bigger tip.  

I got everything in my house and called my family.  Big takeaway: I am not taking care of myself.  I need to do more for that.  They are right.  

Mom in particular is very impressed with my decisiveness on selections.  I know what I want and that is apparently a really good thing.  I didn't think much of it.  

I told her, really, it's more what I don't want.  I know that.  Like the brass tone yellow doorknobs.  So I am going to get the flooring done, Ron's room, and then accessories like curtain rods and curtains.  Then I am done.  Hopefully I can stretch the money to make it work.  

I just double checked the budget, looks OK for now.  It really depends on the cost of Ron's room.  I will be happy with drywall, paint, and flooring, the rest is just a bonus.  I have doors now... and doorknobs.  I have paint it is going on the walls sometime next week.  Then flooring, if LUMBER DUDES ever get their shit together.  

I really like my plank from them otherwise I would just go to Floor and Decor or Home Depot.  I am invested in it now, but I do have the samples for Home Depot products so I could go with them if LL flakes.  I just looked at my samples, I picked up 2 of the same thing, 'Java Hickory" so I guess I really like it.  

I put my stuff away, fed Ron, and ate my dinner, went to bed early.  I slept 11 hours - I needed it - and got up around 8.  I am about to go take a shower and then call the pharmacy, get my meds if they are there.  

I noticed Carlos' helper likes Monsters so I will get some (the classic kind).  I am also almost out of Diet Dew.  That may or may not be in stock but I will look.  

Oh, I was thinking just now, things I need before I am "done" with the house.  

Curtain rods 
Curtain rods hung
Curtains
Get dumpster
Get stuff back
Purge stuff 
Get slipcovers for loveseats.  

Done.  That is assuming I have already done paint, flooring, trim.  

Then done.  I will be glad when the guys are done with wall repairs because they had to move my washer and dryer, which means no washer and dryer.  :(  I figured this would happen so I did all the laundry possible.  I am fine with that - the poor helper, I think his name is Javi, said he would put it all back and reconnect every day but I said just leave it out (where the kitchen table goes) and I will be OK.  I hated the idea of the things dragging across the tile anyway.  

But, since they are out, we can paint it a nice fresh color.  This has sure kept me busy lately.  But I will get it done.  

We did make the bathroom more accessible for Ron.  Regarding the door knobs I did not get a locking one for my room, but I did for the bathroom.  I never lock my door and if I have to my life is completely screwed anyway.  

And Biscuit is proving he had a head injury.  The guys moved his food bowl yesterday.  He couldn't find it even though it is out in a very accessible space.  I had to pick it up, call him, and then put it down.  He was OK then.  No one had a problem with the water bowl moving.  It is "noisy" for a cat.  

I did change the air filter last night, I was glad I did it was pretty gross, and had only been in for a month.  There was a very slight odor from the wall paste.  So I thought a fresh filter would be a good idea for everyone, the guys were sneezing a little too.  Like, allergy sneezes.  It is done now.  

I really wanted to put in one of the air fresheners but:
1.  Worried it would ruin the unit
2.  Cats don't like scented stuff and are barely OK with a candle
3.  Ron doesn't like a lot of scents.  

So I didn't get it.  

Anyway, going to take my shower.