Thursday, August 17, 2017

Consolation

Ron needs to realize, not everyone is consoled by his "Don't worry, the end of the world is coming soon" speech.  Agh.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

This is probably TMI

I wasn't going to mention it.  After all, who wants to hear about  hemorrhoids?  Really? 

Some things, I figured, are too much.  So I kept silent and just grimaced.  I kept forgetting to buy some "remedies" and now I think I see why God allowed me to keep forgetting. 

They are pretty much better by now, but still, persistent.  So I bought some remedies today, suppositories (I told you, TMI) and some wipes.  I used the wipes, no real difference. 

The suppositories said to use them at night, which is a really sick thing to do.  I innocently inserted one and lay down in my bed.  It has a vasoconstrictor to make the veins calm down.  However, I was wracked with horrible cramps just a few minutes after insertion. 

I have to work tomorrow, yet I am plagued with Grade A, First Class, Food Poisoning Grade cramps.  I haven't felt like this since I tried to take a glucosamine with my lithium. 

I keep running to the bathroom, but nothing's coming out, just horrible cramps and pain.  It's dreadful. 

About the only positive thing I can find is that my nausea is gone.  I guess I only get one symptom per customer.  I need to be asleep but I doubt I can with these symptoms. 

Ugh. 

A lot about Biscuit

I slept OK.  It was sure nice to wake up with Torbie in the bed. 

I got up at 7:30 or so.  I was awake and ready to go.  I peed, brushed my teeth, fed Biscuit, and ate some breakfast. 

I took my shower.  Biscuit meowed at me while I was washing my hair, and I called his name sadly.  It's a little game I play "I'm dying in the shower, come and save me".  He came bouncing into the shower enclosure, ready to save me from the terrible showerhead, I said his name happily as he sat at the dry end of the tub, and he watched me for about half a minute before he left.  Then he laid on the tubmat right outside the shower enclosure until I dried myself off.  He's pretty cute. 

I got queasy after eating my banana and antidepressant.  That isn't going to work anymore?  Well, crap.  I like to have a morning routine, eating the same thing.  Kind of like my customers. 

We went to Walmart.  Ron called a cab because he didn't like the timing of the first trip, apparently we would have been there too long.  It was just a medication run so we didn't need that long. 

We got there and I found a kiddie cart.  I put Ron in it, then put the wheelchair into the cart.  Ron had his talking book machine, and a flash drive with music.  If he pops the flash drive in the USB port, he can turn the player into a "boom box".  Personally, I don't think he should. 

How would you feel if someone rode around with you, or sat in a store playing music you didn't like?  You wouldn't like it one bit.  You sure wouldn't like it if someone else did it, playing rap music or whatever. 

Anyway, Ron wants to be the center of attention, and get all kinds of praise for having "the good music".  Riding paratransit, that generally means playing old soul music, endlessly, because that's all the other clients and older drivers want to hear.  I get so sick of it, but he loves it when they start singing along with the music. 

He knows I don't like it, so he generally tries to restrain himself.  The problem is most of the drivers are younger and have no clue what he is playing.  They don't like it, they want the "young stuff".  Which Ron, of course, doesn't have, and wouldn't because he hates rap and the "new" soul. 

Anyway, today I got to ride him around in the kiddie cart, playing, of all things, country music.  The demographics of our store are about 45% Black, 45% Mexican, and 10% middle eastern (women in the getup, etc.). Pretty safe to say that everyone we encountered hated Ron's music.  A lot of customers frowned at him. 

I got the things I needed.  Mainly pepto, chewable nausea tablets (mixed results on that one), a serrated knife, etc.  I took my time looking at the vegetables, and finally decided to get some sweet potatoes.  The ready-to-eat celery had a sell by date of just a couple days, and I didn't want to deal with a whole bunch of celery.  Besides, I was queasy enough that the thought of celery was pretty revolting.  They had a sweet potato already wrapped in plastic, all ready to microwave.  I thought I could do that and read the directions, nuke for 7 minutes and then done.  It sounds like it will be a little tricky removing the wrapper because it will be so hot, though.  I also bought a plain sweet potato, I can try to cook it in my steamer.  That will probably be easier to do. 

I sure didn't want anything from the deli, or McDonald's, but I did get Ron some chicken strips from the deli. 

We checked out.  Ron paid me for his items.  We sat down for a while and I tried chewing some of the anti-nausea tablets.  They didn't work in 4 minutes, as advertised, but within 20 minutes I did feel appreciably better. 

We had a driver I like, taking us home.  He was very nice and helpful.  I sat up front and talked to him. 

I was glad I had brought my own bags, as we were getting another client who had her stuff in the regular plastic walmart bag.  If we had identical bags, it would have been easy to mix things up.  I started bringing my own bags when a woman's teenage son tried to make off with my bag of meat, one time.  $30 worth of meat.  I asked her to show me her receipt, because I had mine, and it showed I had paid for the meat.  She told him to give it back to me, but I never wanted that to happen again. 

We got dropped first, I really only had the one bag so not a big deal to get it into the house.  I didn't have anything to refrigerate. 

I felt daring enough to try eating some natural peanut butter, and sunflower seeds, and take my medication.  Oddly enough, it worked.  I took a nap. 

I had a post-traumatic nightmare.  Ugh.  I hate those.  I sure didn't want to sleep after that, even though I had Torbie in my bed again.  She's so much fun. 

The really old cats get very cuddly.  I probably only have a few more years with her, but I will enjoy her.  And yes, I love Biscuit just as much, I just wish he would (ow!) stop digging his claws into my leg when he wants dinner. 

Anyway, I got up, did some computer, watched some TV.  I plan to go to bed early tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I am drinking a lot of pepto and plan to skip dinner tonight. 

Plus, I have to feed Biscuit in 8 minutes.  He's very punctual. 

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

I am never eating broiled seafood....

Oh, I am so queasy.  

First of all, I slept pretty well last night, and slept in as late as I could: 7:30 AM.  I guess I really am an early bird. 

I got up, took my shower, weighed, down almost 10 pounds total; and did my God Time.  It had been a while. 

I got dressed because we were going out.  Ron wanted to go to the fish restaurant.  I knew they had broiled options so I figured I would make that work.  So far, just about everything paleo has gotten along with my medication, except for the infamous sausage patty incident. 

We had a good ride to the restaurant.  We sat down, far away from the speaker.  Ron doesn't like their music.  Ron ordered fried catfish and shrimp, I ordered the broiled platter.  It has scallops, shrimp, and two fish fillets. 

Our food came and we started eating.  My food was good.  They even gave me a little cup of melted garlic butter, and I was dunking my food in it.  I didn't eat the seasoned rice, I just picked the baby shrimp out of it and ate them.  When I finished, I felt very pleased with myself and I even took a photo.  Then I took my medication. 

I was alright at first.  We had to wait about a half hour on our ride, then we had to wait on our ride to take us home.  I got home, feeling mildly nauseous.  That's not unusual after taking lithium + friends so I didn't think much of it.  However, it got worse.  And worse. 

I finally took some pepto and lay down.  Torbie joined me.  I managed a little nap but not much.  It was nice to have Torbie (she slept with me last night, too). 

I got up.  I was really sick.  I am never eating broiled seafood with my medication again.  Ever.  UGH. 

At one point today Ron was telling me to pet Torbie, he wanted me to get her out of his bed so he could be with Baby Girl.  Ron is very conflicted about the two cats.  Torbie loves him unconditionally, but Ron wants Baby Girl.  So oftentimes he ends up pushing Torbie away to make room for Baby Girl, who never even shows up. 

He kept telling me to stop neglecting her, etc.  Then he said I was just like my mother, neglecting my baby.  Why?  Because you were too conflicted to push Torbie on the floor, when you wanted to?  I called him out on that.  I said it was a cheap, ugly, shot.  I asked him if he would like me to start comparing him to his parents (he wouldn't).  He shut up right quick and even apologized. 

I even called him manipulative and boy that hit a nerve.  He spent the next 10 minutes vehemently denying it.  Only the truth hurts. 

So, in a minute, I will go get some Tums from Ron and try those for my nausea.  It's almost 5, I ate lunch at 12, it should be digested by now. 

Worst case I can always eat a banana. 

Lunch

Stayed on plan, just ate the seafood.

Monday, August 14, 2017

"Punished"

I didn't sleep well last night.  I got up and dragged myself into the shower, shaved my legs, etc.  I got ready for work. 

Our ride came around 6 AM, we had another pickup.  We went into another subdivision, somewhat in the direction of work, and picked up a "slow" client in a wheelchair.  She had about the mental capacity of a 6 month old baby, babbling nonsense, yelling, throwing her shoes, etc.  It was very distracting. 

Ron kept asking me how she ended up this way.  I took a sharp look at her and told Ron (later) she probably had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  FAS is the leading cause of mental deficits.  He said something about the birth mother being "punished" by having to care for her (the other client was at least 20 years old). 

Not really, I replied.  Most FAS victims end up raised by someone other than the birth mother.  So an innocent family member, stepmother, grandmother, aunt, or older sibling is "punished". 

Does that mean I am being "punished" by "having" to take care of Ron?  I don't think so.  I signed up for this.  I didn't know he would become an alcoholic or verbally abusive, but I had a pretty good inkling about the rest of it.  I figured he would deteriorate physically. 

Punished?  I don't think so. 

At any rate, we got to work and I didn't have a whole lot to do.  I stocked what I could (I didn't have any Snickers Almond, and I needed them), helped Ron, etc.  I got the sandwiches and stocked them.  I did pastry. 

We were ready a little early so we went out.  Then we discovered our ride wasn't coming for another 20 minutes.  Ugh.  It was hot and miserable.  I put Ron under the tree. 

We had a little of excitement when the driver arrived, she came through the gate (she pushed the button and apparently was buzzed in).  That's a big NO!   We loaded quickly and left. 

She was confused about the traffic changes but took a route that satisfied her and kept her away from the closures.  We got home. 

I took a nap.  I didn't have any cats but Torbie ran across the bed a few times. 

I had a pretty good nap and woke up before the alarm.  I got ready to go, we were going to Walmart.  I needed to put in my refills and get a few other things (bananas). 

Our ride was late.  I am starting to think we cannot have an on-time afternoon trip.  The ride was so late, they sent "Protection".  Remember the song about the cleanup woman?  That's what protection does, picks up the trips that are far behind schedule, or the original driver cannot perform it.  He was nice, young, and very new.  He did a good job, though.  He got Ron onboard safely, secured the wheelchair, checked our "papers", etc. 

Ron arranged for me to get an hour at Walmart.  I got my bananas, and banana chips.  I got some no-sugar added, chunky, natural, peanut butter.  I had some sunflower butter (made from the seeds, of course), but it had added sugar.  I am trying to avoid added sugars. 

I bought a case of cat food and some things for Ron.  I was done. 

I checked out.  Everything cost about $40.  I found Ron.  I was pretty hungry, so I opened up my bag of pork rinds.  I shared them with Ron, and, when I was done, I gave them to him.  I only got the pork rinds because I was hungry and wanted a "legal" snack. 

Later on, I caught Ron feeding pork rinds to Baby Girl.  She likes to lick the flavoring off the rind, and bite it.  Yuck. 

Hopefully she won't get sick. 

We came home with a nice African driver.  He was teasing us because we know a bad word in Arabic.  He was fun. 

We got home and I took everything in the house.  I put away the butter and Ron's drink (Diet Dr Pepper).  I put the bananas away.  I stored the cat food in the stack of cat food I have on the table, much to Biscuit's delight. 

I got on the computer for a while, watched Intervention.  I am always so happy when they get clean but some of the "before" stories run a little too close to home.  Speaking of, there's Ron drinking in the kitchen.

Biscuit got agitated, wanting his dinner.  I feed him at either 6 or 6:30 PM.  If I feed him too early he will eat it all up and get hungry in the middle of the night.  Ron got upset and started calling me names because I wouldn't feed Biscuit. 

I told Ron I had to clean the litter boxes, then I would feed Biscuit.  That wasn't good enough for Ron, more name calling and verbal abuse.  I cleaned the boxes.  I mean, I had to, anyway. 

I washed my hands (of course!) and fed the cats.  In the meantime Ron had gone into his bedroom and was attempting to feed the cats treats.  Food trumps treats, for the cats.  I "won".  Everyone ate their fill and was happy. 

I turned off Intervention.  I was pretty depressed by now.  I mean, at least I had taken care of the cats, some dry food had gotten into the water when Baby Girl head-butted my hand with the scoop of food, so I had changed that out in addition to changing the litter and feeding them. 

But Ron was just hateful and mean.  I told him he could feed the cats if he wanted, but he doesn't want to mess with the wet food.  He just thought he could abuse me into doing what he wanted. 

He is still taking Tylenol with alcohol, so I imagine his liver is a hot mess right now.  I have said everything I can on the subject, but he won't hear it.  I think one some level he wants to die. 

And I'm just plogging through my day to day, trying to keep my head above the stormy seas of depression.  It's exhausting.  Add worry for/about Ron into the equation and it get really toxic.  Add all that into being on the heels of Ron verbally abusing me, it's a real mess. 

But I try not to have pity parties.  His grandfather was a notorious alcoholic and died in his 90's, so who's to say how long Ron might make it? 

Ugh.  It is my Friday night, I have two days off in a row.  Tomorrow we just get something to eat, that's all. 

Wednesday I pick up my prescriptions. 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

"Can I help you?"

Today I woke up about 7:30.  I had set my alarm for 8:30. 

I got up, took my shower, and got on the computer for a while.  We had a pickup to go to Arby's. 

Of course it was late.   Ron got predictably upset, then called and "fixed" it. 

We got there pretty quick and went in.  I looked at the menu board.  No salads on the menu.  I suspected as much, and had come prepared. 

I ordered a plain roast beef, half a pound of meat.  I ordered Ron a Beef and Cheddar with bacon on it, he likes those.  He ordered fries.  The cashier asked me if I wanted fries, I said I couldn't eat potatoes on my diet.  Then he asked if I wanted hash browns.  I regretfully told him no. 

I got Ron to the table and he sat down.  He mainly focused on eating his fries when they came.  I ate my food with a fork, I took the top bun off and ate my way through the meat until I reached the bottom bun. 

The cashier came over to see if "Everything was alright?", probably due to my bizarre method of eating, I told him I was fine and continued eating.  I took my pills, they were OK with the roast beef.  Good. 

Now, it wasn't perfect because the meat is processed.  Better yet would have been a big chunk of roasted meat in it's own juices.  But Ron wants to eat his stuff and I try to accommodate him, too. 

So, we ate.  Our ride home came pretty soon and we left.  Ron brought his sandwich with him. 

Oh, I forgot to mention, I am down 2.8 pounds today.  I'm not in this for weight loss as my primary goal, but it is nice to see some weight coming off. 

We got home and I took a nap.  I slept pretty well considering.  I did run out of water.  I keep a large container of water on my bedside table and drink it as I wake up, thirsty. 

I need to make up another jug before I go to bed, which needs to be pretty soon.  I need to be in bed in an hour, at the latest, I have an early wakeup for work tomorrow. 

But I am also going to Walmart after work.  I'm finding a problem with the bananas.  I could buy the protein bars weeks in advance, store them, and eat them as desired.  The bananas only keep a couple days in my house, no matter how green the bunch.  So I have to keep running back to the store.  It's a little tiring. 

It also makes me a little nervous, if we have an event that disrupts transportation here what can I eat for breakfast? 

I'm sure not doing sausage patties again. 

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Saturday in the heat

I didn't sleep well last night, I had a weird painless throbbing thing on the top of my left foot.  I think it is the "twitching" I have read about in my side effects.  It was so bad I put a salonpas patch on it, not because it was hurting, but because I hoped the distraction provided by the patch would cancel out the twitch/throb. 

I also had some other issues.  At any rate, I kept waking up and did not sleep well at all.  I was delighted to find Torbie in my bed sometime in the middle of the night.  She is so cute. 

I got up and took my shower, ate my banana and took my pills.  Our ride came pretty early and we got to Sam's 15 minutes before opening. 

Once they opened, I did my shopping and got everything on the list.  It was a lot.  I checked out and got myself a drink.  A diet caffeine free soda, that is.  I forget, sometimes, others have a very different definition of "drink". 

Anyway, we got a guy to help us and Jack showed up on time.  We got the truck loaded and off to work. 

Since it's been so hot, I've been plying Jack with cold drinks (water, gatorate, etc) to keep him cool and hydrated.  To be honest, he does most of the unloading, especially since "the shoulder thing". 

I am so glad I figured out paleo was the way to go. 

So, I got the carts and we unloaded, took everything into the building.  We checked the machines (Ron and I, Jack isn't allowed in the building), and realized we really didn't need to stock. 

Ron had scheduled hours for us to work, but we didn't need them.  So he called a cab to take us home. 

We had to divert due to traffic and road construction, but we got around.  Finally home. 

I was pretty tired.  I took a nap.  I had weird dreams, but, yet again, woke up to Torbie.  She is such a joy.  I woke up with a moderate headache and took some aspirin.  It worked. 

We had planned to go to the BBQ place.  I took the photo of Ron as he was getting ready.  Baby Girl was in the wheelchair when I took the photo, you can see the arms of the wheelchair at the bottom of the photo.  Torbie and Biscuit were, of course, with Ron. 

We went to the BBQ place.  I got links, half a pound, and Ron got the rib dinner.  We had a pretty good time, eating and talking.  I didn't get anything off my eating plan. 

I even had a full quart of water before I started drinking the diet soda.  I thought that would be a good start. 

Pretty soon, time to go home.  Our driver was right on time and had no trouble finding us.  He was teasing us about "his" BBQ, I told him I bought him a sandwich but Ron ate it. 

We came home, I watched TV for a little while.  Pretty soon I'm going to bed. 

My pants are getting looser, I think.  They feel looser.  The nice thing about one pair, it has a drawstring so I can just tighten it up as needed.   Good.  I have only a general idea where my "smaller sizes" are hiding. 

I had dramatic losses, and equally dramatic gains, on low carb.  Paleo weight loss is something new to me. 

I was down to 245.8.  I was 253 at the doctor's office last month.  So I'm losing, but it's more gradual.  That is probably better for me. 

I just hope I keep losing.  I'm sure eating on plan. 

Happy family

Ron, Biscuit, and Torbie

Friday, August 11, 2017

"I need a diner"

I got up at 2:15 AM.  I was pretty tired and had not slept well last night. 

I got up, brushed my teeth, fed Biscuit.  I ate a banana, drank my Diet Mountain Dew, and took a shower.  I forgot to tie my hair back. 

Our ride was on time, but, to my view, had a terrible attitude.  Hey, the early morning drivers are done for the day at 10-11 AM.  That's a pretty sweet deal by any standards.  Not to mention I have found the early morning drivers are the happiest.  Except this one. 

We had a straight trip to work and went to work.  We had been gone 2 days.  Not a lot to stock, really, but I stocked what I could and made up a detailed inventory.  I helped Ron with his work.  We got our delivery, a little late, at around 7:30.  He put everything away. 

I am on alert right now, Ron told me "I'm going to have a blackout".  I asked him not to drink too much, but he basically told me he was going to have one regardless of what I wanted.  I forget sometimes he is addicted. 

That's not excusing him.  But I forget he doesn't really have a choice, as he sees it, about drinking. 

Ron and I once met a man who used to be a crackhead.  He told us he used to work all day, go home, stay up all night smoking, take a shower, and go to work the next day.  He begged God to help him end this addiction, and heard God tell him "Stop buying the crack".  He stopped, and had no problems with withdrawal or going back to a normal life. 

Ron has to stop buying the alcohol.  If it's not in the house he can't drink it.  He has to want to stop drinking.  Right now he isn't at that place, and I'm the one who suffers, who literally mops his blood off the floor after a bad blackout. 

Back to work: we got it all done pretty early, around 8.  Ron had made a "reservation" with Chuck to go out for breakfast.  It was my idea.  I don't want to call him only when we need something.  We can spend time together just to spend time together. 

So, Chuck came about 8:15, we put everything away and headed out.  We went to Denny's, my idea last night.  "I need a diner" I told Ron. 

So we went.  The waitress said I could combine 4 items off the breakfast menu for $7.  I got 4 eggs, 2 sausage links, and some bacon.  Ron got a steak skillet, he is still working on that.  Chuck got something off the value menu. 

I ate everything on my plate (all paleo) and took my medication.  We talked for a while and then went home. 

Chuck heard Biscuit crying at the door, he does that when we put up the garage door and go into the garage (before we open the door to the house).  He thought it was cute, and it is. 

He left, we put the garage door down, and went into the house.  I laid down and took a nap, I had slept badly last night. 

I slept for a while.  I woke up and did some computer stuff, then talked to Ron a little bit before he started drinking.  I put my insoles into my "new" work shoes, so I can try them tomorrow.  I really hope they work for me, my old shoes are falling apart, but are very comfortable. 

Now Ron is collapsed in bed, yelling at the television.  It's still pretty early yet so I won't go to bed yet. 

But I will go to bed early.  Tomorrow we have truck day and we need a lot of inventory.  Happily sales are up a little bit, not huge but a better take than we had last week.  At least we have enough to pay for our stuff. 

I'm depressed today, but not too bad.  Part of it is Ron's unending negativity.  I can only take so much, and when I tell him I've had enough he is liable to shout at me.  Then he only wants to talk to me, normally, when he's drinking.  Part of it is just my own brain chemistry; I tend to get depressed during the scorching summer months. 

At any rate, I'm going to go rot my brain watching TV for a while.  I fed Biscuit and Baby Girl their wet food early, because I fed them so early this morning and they had literally eaten every scrap.  I will feed them a dose of their dry food before I go to bed so they have something to snack on while I'm sleeping. 

I don't like to think of a rescue cat going hungry. 

Thursday, August 10, 2017

I'll do the limes, not the laundry

Today was pretty quiet.  I got up at 7 (on my day off!) and worked on the laundry for a while.  I had to run the dryer twice to get the load dry, then hang everything on Ron's chair.  I also had to hang up my own clothes (not much). 

I decided I would try to find a decent pair of workboots, I prefer steel toes because Ron's always running over my feet in his wheelchair.  The last pair I bought were horrible and felt like bricks on my feet. 

I checked the brand on my current workboots, the ones I love, but are falling apart: Brahma.  OK.  I would get that brand.  I stuck a pair of old socks in a back pocket, as I was wearing my flip flops. 

I double checked my list and waited on our ride, which was half an hour late.  Ron was very upset.  Our ride finally arrived and off we went to Walmart. 

We shared the van with a very obese woman in a reclining electric wheelchair.  A screw, or something, creaked ominously on the wheelchair every time the vehicle stopped.  I worried about her flying off the base and into my legs, so I pulled my legs under the seat as far as they'd go.  She kept interrupting us and wanted me to tell her how to download songs. 

"You buy them on Amazon" I replied tersely.  Then she wanted the free download sites and I don't even know any.  Not that I would share them if I did, "free" downloads are stealing unless approved by the artist.  I've had a lot of arguments about that. 

On a side note, I have a great song "Clip full of Hallelujahs", it was a free download on Amazon and I like it a lot.  It's very well done. 

She kept whining and interrupting, and I kept thanking God we don't ride with her on a regular basis.  We approached Walmart. 

I teased the driver, as I am prone to do sometimes, by asking him how many more stops we had before we went to Walmart.  He said we were next.   I grinned. 

The minute we stopped, I got off the vehicle without even saying anything.  I got Ron and put him in his usual spot.  He said he had to call a supervisor to finish "fixing' our trip.  Fine. 

I went on to do my shopping.  Acne Soap.  Acne soap at nearly 43 years old.  I see all these anti-aging creams and stuff, even if I were inclined to use them they are moisturizing.  I don't need that.  I need something to dry my skin!  I can get positively greasy, like a bacon pan or something, in the right situation. 

I got some more cat plates.  I use a 6 inch round foam plate to feed their canned food, that way I can throw it away when they're done. 

I got a case, four, six packs, of Diet Mountain Dew.  I bought toilet paper.  I got a new scale, a digital one, I think, will be easier to use than my old dial scale.

I called Ron to ask a question about disinfecting wipes.  You may remember, years ago, a man with no legs, and scabs all over his arms, was seated next to Ron's empty wheelchair.  He apparently had quite an itch because he kept rubbing his scabs all over Ron's wheelchair.  It was disgusting.  He was not mentally "slow". 

Thank God we were going home.  Once we got rid of the guy, I told the driver what had happened and warned her not to touch the wheelchair until I cleaned it.  I ran in the house and got some cleaning products, cleaned the chair, then she touched it and we put Ron in it.  But what if that happens again and we're not going home?  It would be really nice to have some sort of disinfectant product in the back of the wheelchair for times like that. 

So, I called Ron, to see if he would be willing to tote something around, on the back of his wheelchair.  I can hang all I want on the back, but at the end of the day it's really his chair. 

Anyway, he didn't take my call (I called once), then called and screamed at me for "bothering" him.  Well.  I put the cleaning products back. 

Then I got to the work boots.  I looked for the Brahma brand.  I found some likely-looking steel toed sneakers.  I pulled out a pair in my size.  I took out my socks, explaining to the stocker that they were my own socks.  They are pretty tired-looking so I'm sure she believed me. 

I tried them on.  They seemed like they would do well with some insoles.  I stomped around in them, jumped up and down, and put them in the cart.  Then I took off my socks and put them back in my pocket, then I headed off. 

I needed a queen sized black flat sheet.  They didn't have any.  I settled for a gray flat sheet. 

I selected a 200-page "fat" notebook I can use as my food log.  Then I went over to the produce.  I bought another really green batch of bananas (I still have some ripe ones at home).  I was done with produce, I still have plenty of other fruits and veggies at home. 

Oh, I forgot!  I took my medication with a banana this morning and I was fine, one reason I wanted more bananas.  I finally found a paleo thing that works with my breakfast.  Thank God.  And bananas are really easy to eat. 

Anyway, I decided to look at the spices.  I find it hard to plow through my kale, it's very green, dense, and chewy.  It gets stuck in my teeth every time.  I want to make it a better experience. 

So I bought some Cajun "blackened" seasoning with no MSG, and some Pickapeppa sauce, it isn't spicy hot but it appears to be spicy.  Either one, I figure, will perk up that kale. 

If nothing else I can use them on other foods.  Biscuit is begging for dinner, 45 minutes early.  He can be very persistent. 

All done, I checked out.  I bought Ron a bottle of his favorite iced tea. 

I made a deposit.  Some charity stuff is coming out, and my cell phone autopay.  The line looked really long at first but it moved fast.  Thank God. .

I took the cart over to Ron and gave him his tea.  I asked him if he wanted something from McDonald's.  At first he said no but then he texted me saying he wanted a double cheeseburger with bacon on it. 

In their defense, it was very busy, but I ordered three plain double cheeseburgers, no cheese.  I just wanted double meat patties on a bun.  They gave me plain cheeseburgers.  The cheese makes it harder to eat them without the bun.  Plus it's the next thing to plastic.  I really don't want to be eating that. 

Then I got Ron's text so I had to get back in line and order his thing.  I was happy to do it. 

I finally got all the food, and our ride came.  It was a large van. 

She was feeling down, she told us later, but we cheered her up.  Good.  I want to be "Oh, good, it's her!".  I don't want them to curse when they see our name, like I saw one driver do years ago. 

We got home and I unloaded everything and took it in the house, then I got Ron.  I gave him his burger and put all my stuff away. 

I took a nap, I didn't sleep very well but I tried.  Biscuit and Torbie slept on the cat condo next to my bed. 

Biscuit kept digging his claws into my leg while I typed, so I had to squirt him a couple of times.  He's backed off now.  I feel bad about it, but the last time he did it, he left a shred of skin hanging down. 

Thunder.  We may be getting some rain. 

I got up around 3:30 and I have to go to bed in about half an hour.  Someone was banging on my door earlier, it sounded like a salesman.  I didn't bother to answer. 

I didn't call you.  You didn't call me.  Why should I open the door? 

I have been getting a lot of AT&T salesmen.  We used to be former customers, but quit due to their horrible customer service (literally made me cry on one occasion), and crappy equipment.  When I tell them that they always say "Oh, things are better now".  No thanks, I will stick with my proven cable and ISP provider, thank you very much.  Thank God I live in the Big City and I do have a choice.  A lot of my friends are stuck with only one ISP, period. 

Anyway, I need to go to bed soon.  At least all the clothes are done.  I still need to wash the sheets.  I want to cut up some limes to put in my water before I go to bed, too.  I'll do the limes, not the laundry, for now. 

And I need to put the batteries in my new scale so I can use it tomorrow. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Big meal

 I slept pretty well last night.  At one point I woke up with Torbie next to my head.  To me, that's the pinnacle, it doesn't get any better than that, unless she maybe gets on my lap. 

I slept later, getting up with barely enough time to take my shower.  I did and got dressed. 

We were going to Carl's Junior.  Ron wanted to go out for breakfast, I didn't want anything too fancy and figured I could wrangle the breakfast burger and make it work for me. 

The breakfast burger has a layer of tater tots on the lower bun, a meat patty, cheese, an egg patty, and bacon.  Both sides of the bun are slathered in ketchup.  I figured I would be OK if I took off the cheese, buns, and tater tots. 

I would have kept the cheese if it were "real" cheese, but fast food cheese is nearly always some processed crap.  I don't think that is paleo by any means. 

We went to the restaurant and I ordered my pain in the ass thing.  I felt like a real nuisance telling them to leave this and that off the burger.  Ron got a burger with ribs on it.  He liked it just fine. 

We got stuck there for an hour and a half.  We talked a little.  I don't mind talking to Ron when he is sober, but that isn't...always possible. 

I took all my medication at once, figuring this would be my "big meal" for the day.  Then I took a b-vitamin because I thought I could use it.  It all settled OK with my burger, so I was glad I chose it. 

We finally came home.  I tried to take a nap, but didn't sleep very well, even though Torbie! came to bed.  She is so cute, I just love her to pieces.  She slept by my head after grooming herself. 

I did fall asleep for a little bit, and had a dream about a guy I used to know in church youth group.  I loved him passionately, he was always a gentleman.  I settled for being friendly with him. Right before my parents left the church, he gave me a lovely valentine, so we missed our chance.  I often wonder what happened to him.  He was average looking, about my height, very kind and sensitive, incredibly intelligent, had a paunch and receding hairline even then, and was a hard worker on our mission trips.  I wish him well, I really hope he is tremendously happy with a wonderful wife and a couple of kids.  He would have made a great father. 

It is hard not to compare, and this is hard to write, because I know how it makes me look.  But I look back, and then I look around, and I'm sad.  My life did not turn out how I hoped. 

I think everyone in my situation does that. 

At any rate, even with Torbie, it was too depressing to stay in bed, so I got up.  I got online for a little bit.  I finally ran a load of the clothes Ron was complaining about.  He waits until he has nothing, and then he gives them to me.  I don't mind doing them that way if I am feeling OK but it puts a lot of pressure on me. 

I was able to cram most of the clothes into the washer.  I put in some stain remover/color brightener stuff and ran a "soak" cycle.  It does just that, soaks the clothes, hopefully getting out the worst stains.  Then, when the "soak" is done, I ran a heavy-duty cycle with a couple of unscented Tide Pods.  I guess I could have used the scented stuff because it was Ron's load but I wanted to use the good detergent.  That should do the job, it has before. 

When the load is done, I will put it in the dryer and run another load, put that in a dryer.  You could put a person in my dryer.  It will take forever to dry but that's OK, I will run it tomorrow morning before it gets hot.  I see no point in running the dryer and the A/C at the same time.  Then I can dump it all on Ron (I will hang them up) and show him he has plenty of clothes, he just has to give them to me before he's out. 

I guess I need to get better about asking for them, too.  At any rate, it's in process and I have about a half hour before it finishes. 

I never noticed how long my old washer took to run a load, but the new one takes about an hour a load, a little longer if I run the soak cycle.  Then I need to pretreat the next load and get it in.  For instance, someone threw up on my computer chair cover.  I am sure I can wash it out but I wish they would have aimed for the floor instead. 

Why is it we always do the chores on our days off?  Is it because we're too tired during the week?  I don't know. 

I also need to cook up some vegetables for dinner.  I plan to do some kale, carrots, and celery. 

Oh, my waist was down an inch this morning.  My hips were up an inch, go figure that, but at least my waist was down.  We'll see if it stays down. 

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Horrible cherries

I slept OK, but woke up tired.  I felt like I could have slept another 12 hours.  Welcome to medicated life. 

I ate a protein bar, the kind Walmart doesn't sell anymore, so I wouldn't have any problems with my medication.  I didn't. 

We went to work.  It was pretty slow, and uneventful except for Ron's exceptionally bad attitude.  I called him on verbal abuse a couple of times.  The first time he basically said if I wasn't so stupid, he wouldn't have to abuse me.  Classic abuser thinking, the abuse is always the victim's fault.  I forget what he said the second time but it wasn't nice.  All I did was help him, with a good attitude I might add. 

If I went in there throwing attitude and refusing tasks, I could understand him getting ugly, but I didn't do that at all. 

Finally time to go.  We went to do a coin deposit at the bank.  We had a very heavy jar of dimes.  He was very careful of my shoulder and didn't want me to do any lifting.  I was OK with what I did do, though. 

We got them deposited and came home.  It was about 2.  I couldn't fall asleep, I just lay in bed drowsing.  Biscuit came along and laid on my legs, always a nice treat.  Of course then, I couldn't move.  I didn't mind. 

The alarm went off right as I finally started feeling sleepy.  I got up and got dressed.  We were going to Walmart. 

As it turns out, going to Walmart, near the first of the month, later in the afternoon/evening, was a bad idea.  It was pretty colossally busy.  Ron had quite a list and I got him everything on it, including antacids, cat treats, and 4 kinds of popped, seasoned, popcorn.  I got another container of cat treats, some stuff I forget, and some fruit. 

I liked the black grapes so much I bought another bunch.  I am woefully ignorant when it comes to bananas.  For a long time the texture made me gag and I couldn't stand them.  Not to mention they are not low carb.  They do, however, work with my morning medication. 

So I bought the greenest bunch I could find, and then another couple that were ripe.  I figure by the time I ate the ripe ones, the green ones will be ripe.  That's the theory.  I only spent about a dollar or two on them, total.  If I'm wrong, I'm not out a lot of money for "wasting" food. 

A lot of the black grapes had been smashed, I could see the juice at the bottom of their bags (the bunches were sold already packed into plastic bags).  I finally found a nice looking bunch with no juice, looked good. 

I used to live near a cherry orchard, and the farmers would sell cherries by the side of the road.  They weren't cheap, but they were delicious.  Walmart had a sale on cherries.  They didn't look as dark as I remembered, but maybe things change, breeders develop better varieties and all of that. 

I sampled one, and it was so bad I would have spit it out if I had been outside.  Nothing like I remembered, no sweetness at all, just a nearly-sour, bland-tasting fruit.  Awful.  I sure wasn't buying that. 

Now, morally I guess I feel like I shouldn't sample small fruits at the grocery store, but today I was sure glad I had.  I didn't sample the grapes I bought because I had just bought a bunch of that brand last week, and I doubted they suddenly went bad.  But something new?  I'm probably going to check. 

Glad I did.  Awful.  Ugh. 

I checked out. The store was very busy and Ron was impressed I had managed to finish so early. 

I left the cart with him, after reminding him to hang onto it (so it doesn't get taken again, like it did last time), and went to McDonald's.  Ron wanted a double cheeseburger to eat ASAP, and a "onion burger" to eat at home. 

It is technically a sweet BBQ bacon burger.  Whatever you call it, I ordered it, and Ron's double cheeseburger. 

I ordered the ranch salad.  I have figured out that is the one I want.  It always takes them some time to get it prepared, but it looked delicious, if you're into salads. 

I did notice they just slapped two lids together, I guess they were out of the bowls.  But it held together long enough for me to get to the table.  I ate my food after I gave Ron his.  Salads generally require sitting down at a table. 

It looked nice, different things were at different "clock points" in the bowl.  Cheese at 2 o'clock.  Chicken at 4, bacon at 6, etc.  The greens were much better, and livelier, than Burger King's.  I ate the whole thing and went back to Ron. 

Ron had finished his double cheeseburger, which he really liked.  Good. 

We went outside right as the driver arrived.  He was listening to a Christian radio program, which I appreciated.  So many of the drivers listen to that "Girl, I want to *&^@ you" music.  It gets old. 

This was nice.  He was from Africa, and his cab license showed an unpronounceable name.  Didn't matter, he was a good driver, a nice man, and a Christian.  He helped me with the bags when we got home, and got Ron safely stowed in the wheelchair. 

Ron decided to back himself up the driveway, and almost went straight into a big spider web in the garage.  He hates spider webs.  I managed to save him in time. 

He took a little time telling me how much he loves me, etc.  I am always conflicted in how I want to respond to that, especially if he has not been good to me that day.  I settled for saying "Thank you". 

We went in the house.  He had me read him the receipt and realized he "owed" me some money for the purchases.  He gave me the $6 (I'm not worried about it, he pays the mortgage) and I gave him his stuff. 

I collected some trash and took out the garbage.  Then I went to the mountain of dirty clothes (two garbage bags) Ron had given me and began lint-brushing and pretreating stains.  Biscuit joined me, sitting on top of the dryer.  I quit about halfway through and decided to do something fun. 

We have tomorrow off.  Ron made a trip to take us out to breakfast.  I might have wanted to stay home and try a banana with my medication, in a context (day off) when it wouldn't matter if I got sick, but he wanted to go somewhere so I agreed. 

I plan to go to bed pretty soon after I check my online forums.  I am pretty tired, but otherwise I feel good. 

I think, tomorrow, I will begin logging the foods I eat just to stay a little more accountable.  At this point and time I am not interested in "diet for weight loss".  I just want to be healthy and pain free.  Right now I feel that I am, and I want to keep that up. 

See you tomorrow. 

Biscuit in my lap

Monday, August 7, 2017

Paleo and medication issues

I lay in bed last night, my gums throbbing.  For some reason gingivitis was making my gums throb and ache horribly.  I tried everything.  I tried Vitamin C.  I tried coconut oil.  I tried Vitamin A.  I tried aspirin.  I brushed my teeth.  I rinsed with mouthwash.  I flossed. 

I finally managed to fall into a fitful sleep, only to awake again at 2.  This time, I ate a snack and took a Naproxen, I wasn't playing around.  I fell back asleep. 

I woke again around 5.  I had to take a shower.  I cooked a sausage patty in the microwave first so it would be cool by the time I ate it. 

I have eaten hundreds of precooked sausage patties.  I find them very useful.  I ate them back in 2004, and when I restarted Atkins again in 2008. 

I started taking my Wellbutrin back in 2010, after, I'm pretty sure, I had gone off Atkins again.  How do I know this? 

Well, I took my shower.  There was a giant spider in the shower and I was pretty much blind due to not having my glasses.  Eventually, the spider went down the drain and into my hair catcher.  So now I have to touch it when I clean out the hair catcher.  I will put on some gloves, first. 

After that trauma, I was ready for a good breakfast; I sat down with my morning medication (Wellbutrin, 150 mg; and some supplements) and ate my sausage patty.  I drank my Diet Mountain Dew and took my pills. 

Almost immediately, I knew I had made a horrible mistake.  I became very queasy.  And our ride was 5 minutes away.  I almost vomited. 

I grabbed the bucket I keep for times like this (a 2.5 gallon bucket, or about 10 liters), to take with me.  I got the pepto-bismol and took a big swig. 

The Pepto helped.  I took the bucket out to the vehicle when we left.  Ron and the driver kept talking about food, but my nausea was a little better so I didn't have to yell at them. 

Not really what I wanted to hear, though, people talking about greasy sausage as my pills floated in a sea of sausage grease. 

And normally I am fine!  I never get sick from my Wellbutrin, and I have, almost always, taken it with a protein bar.  For whatever reason Wellbutrin hates sausage.  I will remember that, and try to figure out a paleo breakfast (not interested in eggs, that early) I can do. 

We got to work.  Sales are still pretty dead.  I stocked what I could and helped Ron.  I stocked sandwiches and mashed up cardboard for the recycling.  Pretty soon, we were done. 

We went outside.  Huge, black, rain clouds, pregnant with rain, hung over us.  Happily our ride was already there. 

We managed to get aboard before the rain started.  We had to pick up a manic woman with a walker who wouldn't shut up on the telephone, she had the pressured speech, the absolute mandate to get out as many words at possible, etc.  She was also a gossip. 

I don't want to hear about how your son's mother in law called him to bring her some food, because she was hungry.  I kept thinking someone should sign her up for meals on wheels. 

Happily, we finally got to her drop off location.  I could see the city skyline from where we dropped her off. 

We were probably downtown a good 15 minutes after that.  Total riding time, an hour, not bad considering how far we went from work to the "Ridestore". 

She took us in the building and signed us in.  I found that ironic as the building is infested with homeless people who monopolize the public bathroom and loiter in the lobby.  If they really cared about security, they wouldn't let them in. 

We got in line and were seen quickly.  The man had a few glitches, but he got our new pass printed up.  It cost us $418.50, we had to borrow from our savings to pay it. 

We also bought some tickets, because our favorite BBQ place is in an area where you can only pay for a ride with 2 tickets, each way, and they do not honor the passes. 

Then we went to eat.  I felt better but pretty cautious. 

I got a fruit salad and an egg and bacon bagel.  I would have rather had an English muffin but they were out.  It settled OK.  I decided to call it my cheat meal. 

Ron had a plain croissant, toasted, with a little "butter" (probably margarine).  He enjoyed that. 

Due to the aforementioned homeless hogging up the public bathrooms, we really didn't want to use them.  I didn't have my disinfecting spray, we could get hepatitis or even AIDS depending.  There was never, not a line for the bathroom. 

Happily neither of us needed one.  We had to wait quite a while, over an hour. 

The rain hit downtown and came down in huge sheets, like someone was throwing buckets of water on the building.  Unfortunately, our driver came in the middle of it.  I had to take Ron out in all that.

"I thought you said it was covered" He yelled as the water sprayed him. 
"It is" I replied "It's just blowing." 

I got him into the cab and we were nice and dry.  We were pretty soaked so the driver turned off the air conditioning.  Happily, we had a straight ride home. 

He missed an exit, but did not choose to lunge over at the last second, in front of the tractor-trailer.  I praised him for making a good call.  I know vehicles take a lot longer to stop in the rain and that thing would have pasted us.  He went up to the next exit and took a U-turn. 

We chatted about various things, he told me about his mother's cats, and the snakes in Nigeria.  We got home. 

It was barely raining at home so we used the remote to open the garage door.  We went inside and shut it quickly, while it still worked.  Then we went inside. 

I was pretty exhausted and sleep deprived, so I took a nap.  When I got up, we worked on the monthly accounting report.  We got that filed. 

Now we just need to mail them their check tomorrow. 

I am back to being pretty queasy again.  I don't know what I will eat for dinner.  I think I'll try a can of vegetable soup, it has potatoes, which I don't want to eat, but it is better than nothing. 

It is hard figuring out the paleo with the medication issues. 

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Black fruit salad

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and my right eye was itching horrifically from (cat)allergies.  I finally put some Vitamin C powder in water and drank it, that helped a lot.  I slept in until about 8 today, pretty late for me. 

Normally, most days at 8 I am stocking a vending machine. 

My hair was disgusting since I hadn't had a shower yesterday, so I took a shower first thing.  I felt a lot better after that.  Then I did my God Time, for the first time in a couple of days. 

Ron woke up, proceeded to get very drunk, and ate Chinese food leftovers, spreading them all over the kitchen.  Then he rolled off to bed. 

I don't know if I'd call it a blackout but he was sure drunk.  It was very depressing. 

I ate some "black fruit salad".  I mixed black grapes, blackberries, and blueberries in a bowl and ate them.  I wasn't very hungry but I am trying to eat more often.  They were good.  I really love black grapes. 

Grapes are a special fruit for me.  During my Dad's single father days, he would take me to the grocery store.  He would sit me in the cart, start at the dairy end, and finish at the produce section.  If I was good, I got one grape from the produce section.  If I didn't behave, I didn't get the grape (I still remember that time, only once).  Sometimes, if he was feeling generous, he'd give me two grapes.  One time he gave me one each of a red, white, and black grape.  I really treasure those times, they were a bright spot in what had been a pretty awful childhood. 

I have concluded I love black grapes the best, they have a full-bodied flavor.  And they're in season here so I am enjoying them whenever I feel like it. 

I still need to polish off the blueberries before they go bad.  I like them, but I don't love them OMG so good passion. 

I still need to figure out dinner.  I have some leftover brisket and I will probably eat that, then I need to figure out what else I'm eating with it.  Probably kale.  And maybe some celery. 

From what I can conclude off the USDA website, I should be eating about a cup and a half of veggies every day.  More is good, but I need to at least do that. 

One serving of kale = 1 cup.  Two celery stalks = 1 cup.  I have some sliced carrots that are getting pretty old, throw some of those in and I'm a cup over my minimum. 

I want to eat better.  I don't just want to eat to whims, or weight loss.  I won't stick with the weight loss diet.  But if I am eating to be healthy, to have good pain control, and maybe lose weight while I'm at it, I should do well.  There are a lot of vegetables I like, I just need to eat them. 

It has to be easy, too.  I don't want to slave over a bunch of raw meat and then get stuck with a ton of dishes. 

So, I took a nap.  I slept pretty well.  A thunderstorm moved in and soaked us pretty good.  I woke up with a moderate headache and used the bathroom, took some aspirin, and went back to bed. 

I have some plastic bags hanging on the back of the wheelchair.  They hold things like an umbrella and my sunglasses.  The sunglasses, not fashionable by any stretch, fit over my bifocals so I don't get blasted with the sun when I'm out. 

Anyway, Ron got up to use the bathroom.  He parks the wheelchair in front of the fan and the fan blows the plastic bags, making annoying humming/rustling sounds.  It is about impossible to sleep when he is in front of the fan like that. 

But he needs to use the bathroom.  He put the toilet paper roll on the holder for me, and went back to bed long after I had decided I needed to get up. 

I got up. 

Now I need to figure out dinner, I want to eat early and give myself time to digest.  I also need to do some meal prep for tomorrow.  We will be going downtown to get Ron a new yearly pass.  He has a permanent "membership" on paratransit, now he just needs the yearly pass.  It will be  hassle but it is only once a year. 

All they have downtown (at the "Ridestore") is junk food.  I don't mind eating the odd protein bar for breakfast, but I'm not putting junk in my body. 

I would probably wake up with a migraine, or a really stiff shoulder, Tuesday. 

Biscuit is stalking me for his dinner.  I think I will eat my vegetables first and then eat the meat portion.  Then take my pills. 

I'm so glad I already did up my pills for two weeks. 

Saturday, August 5, 2017

I can do snacks all by myself

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, I think it was the caffeine. 

Ron woke me up this morning, half an hour before our pickup.  Turns out I forgot to set the alarm after I programmed it.  OOOps. 

No time for a shower, I freshened up as best I could and got ready for a hot day's labor in the sun.  We went to the warehouse. 

An employee came up to me and offered to load the cart.  Apparently I am on the list for "needs help every time"now, and we spend enough that it is worth their while.  I let him load the cart with drinks, then I went off to do snacks by myself. 

I had made a detailed list, so I got everything I needed.  I made an executive decision to buy the Cheeto Brand Chester's Hot Fries rather than the Andy Capp Fries.  When I stock the "big hot chips" (a 2 ounce bag instead of 1 ounce, a variety of hot flavored chips), the Chesters are selling out faster than anything else.  So why not sell it in a little bag, too?  Yes, it is 7 cents more a bag but if we sell a lot it will pay off. 

So I got them.  I also got the other stuff I needed.  I checked out and paid, leaving some change for Ron. 

Ron's "girlfriend" was back at the food court, so she offered to sell us a hot dog if I paid for it up front.  I did that.  I got myself a drink, in addition to Ron's drink. 

Ron ate his hot dog with glee.  It is the highlight of his early Saturday.  He pouts and sulks if he doesn't get it. 

Jack came.  He loaded the truck by himself, just the way he wanted it.  He, I think, gets a little frustrated with the "helpers" because they don't always do things his way. 

We got to work.  I got the carts.  My shoulder did not bother me at all. 

We unloaded the truck and put everything on the carts.  I made sure Jack had cold drinks.  I don't want him passing out from heatstroke. 

Plus, I like to think of myself as a kind person. 

We got everything into the building.  We didn't need to do a lot of stocking, so I mainly focused on putting things away so they will be ready Monday. 

We actually had some leftover time at the end of it.  We went out and waited in the hot sun.  A small, pop-up shower came along and misted us.  Ron liked it.  I put up my umbrella.  I hate raindrops on my glasses. 

Our ride finally showed, we went home.  I took a nap for a while. 

I woke up early, around 3.  Our ride was taking us to the BBQ place at 4, but it ended up coming closer to 5.  We still had a good time.  I got half a pound of brisket and Ron got a sliced beef sandwich. 

I ate most of my brisket, it was very good, tender and smoky.  I took my medication.  No problems.  Ron took his time eating his sandwich.  Our driver actually waited for us, very unusual. 

If I had had more money I would have bought him a catfish sandwich.  All he had to eat in the cab were generic brand breakfast biscuits. 

We went home.  I saw 2 new kids next door (#2, not #6).  So far the landlady has been proven wrong on two counts, she swore: no kids, no dogs.  Two of each.  I doubt she cares as long as they're paying the rent. 

I went to check the mail for Ron.  Months ago, we had a sinkhole form under the sidewalk, right next to the mailbox.  The sidewalk actually caved in, 20 foot deep hole, all kinds of drama.  They filled it in and laid a new sidewalk.  Well, the sidewalk has been sinking for months, and sure enough it is severely cracked and buckled.  I don't trust it, I walk around it on the grass, by the street. 

No way Ron can navigate that even if he could get himself over there (doubtful).  So I check as often as I remember. 

I haven't bought anything online in ages so no real motivation there. 

Ron and I are taking tomorrow off, no trips anywhere.  It should be nice.  Hopefully I can get some cleaning/laundry/litter box work done. 

But I also want to enjoy my time off.  I'll figure out a way to make it all work. 

When I fed the cats this evening, I had to laugh at the hierarchy, Baby Girl goes first, then Biscuit, but only after she leaves.  After Biscuit's done, then Torbie eats. 

Torbie may be first at treats but she is last when it comes to the food bowl.  The other cats always leave her plenty to eat, and don't forget she is 12.5 pounds. 

That's it.  Have a good weekend. 

Friday, August 4, 2017

Torbie sleeps with me

I slept OK last night, it's always lovely to wake up with my face in Torbie's fur (I mean that).  We had a good time sleeping in bed together.  Torbie is, without a doubt, the perfect cat for me.  I am so glad she picked me out at the shelter. 

Bear with me if you've heard the story before.  I had gone to the shelter to get another black cat after Bubba died.  When I got to the cat area I was very strongly led to open a certain door.  I went in and sat down.  Torbie got in my lap before I even saw her.  She was a black/brown/orange tortie tabby.  She was great.  She did hiss at the other cats when they came by, she wanted me to herself. 

That concerned Ron, he thought she was antisocial, but I had him come over and she liked him just fine.  Another man came by and asked about her, they told him she was older.  He lost interest.  So I got up to adopt her.  She looked so betrayed when I set her down on the floor, looking up at me with sad and accusing turquoise eyes.  A big black man was thrilled (an employee) to hear I was taking her and assured me he would get her through the process and make sure I got my cat. 

I filled out paperwork "Do you care if the cat scratches the furniture?"  No.  "How much do you want to pick up the cat?"  As much as she wants.  Stuff like that. 

Then I waited on line and proved my identity, and that I was a homeowner, to the clerk. Then the cat was processed.  The big black man came out holding a carrier, grinning "Here's your cat". 

And we went home. 

I love it when she sleeps with me. 

So, that was a good start to my day.  I got up and took my shower, ate one of my last protein bars; not on my eating plan.  We went to work. 

The other vendor had ordered us some Sunkist Orange and Hawaiian Punch, but it didn't come in.  Bad Word.  Sales were pretty dead, and this time they had stocked in front of our vending machines.  That means the machines were out of order for yet another day to satisfy their requirements for a pristine white floor. 

Management might read this, so I can't really share my opinions, but it is frustrating.  We need that money so we can survive. 

Ironically, I had to move back one of the bill changers, exposing a slightly discolored spot on the floor, so the floor people will be upset about that.  But I have to be able to access the vending machines, and I couldn't. 

I stocked as best I could and did a detailed inventory.  Certain people are very picky about their snacks.  They want the same thing, day after day, and get very upset when we run out.  So I need to make sure I have those items around. 

We had the repairman out to "fix" the soda machine (It vended, but it wouldn't give meter readings, basically an odometer of sales).  It had a busted open door switch.  He showed me where the switch was, not that I can fix it, but if it happens again with another machine I can play with it and see if I can get it to work. 

Then it was time to go.  We went home. 

I took a nap.  Ron kept waking me up.  When I got up I realized he had had a blackout.  I won't bore you with the details.  He damaged his things, and embarrassed himself, but he wasn't verbally abusive to me. 

My adoptive mother asked me how he treats the cats during a blackout, and he does just that: treats the cats.  So no worries on that account. 

He was still pretty drunk but I helped get him ready; we were going to Burger King.  At first he thought we were going to work.  He was pretty wobbly but did OK getting in and out of the vehicle. 

At one point, Ron had to get out of the vehicle and get back into his wheelchair, because the next client was riding with 2 other people.  One of the woman's "people" decided to grab Ron's arm and yank it.  I asked her to stop, she wouldn't.  I was worried she was going to pull him over and make him fall.  I finally said "Ma'am, he doesn't like to be helped.  Please stop."  She finally let him alone and he got into his wheelchair just fine without her "help". 

Very rude to just go grabbing on someone without asking if they want the help. 

After that, we went to the Burger King.  I got a grilled chicken salad, Ron got some tacos.  The lettuce was mainly OK but the darker green, greens were very tired and about done.  I wouldn't order another one unless I was stuck and had no other option.  McDonald's has a much better salad. 

I decided to be daring.  The last time I ate a green salad with grilled chicken, I got really sick.  The lithium did not like the salad and gave me stomach pains and severe nausea.  It felt like I was getting stabbed. 

I verified Ron still had some pepto and decided to take my pills with the salad only, not eating anything else.  I do have some ginger root in with my pills to help with inflammation, it is also good for digestion. 

I had some mild nausea, but nothing unusual.  Good.  Now I know I can do that.  I will keep putting the ginger in my pill counter.  I am giving the ginger the credit here. 

Ron and I went home.  He started cleaning up the mess.  He was pretty horrified and disgusted at himself.  I reminded him of 2 things: portion control, and Neurontin is an amplifier.  It turns one drink into 3.  If he is having his "usual" amount of drinks while taking Neurontin, he's going to have embarrassing blackouts, I will be upset, etc. 

Then I fed the cats.  Baby Girl stood in the wet food, which I found disgusting, but Biscuit didn't care.  He ate all the gravy anyway.  They sure like that dry food, but like the vet said "Carbs make you fat". 

I will be going to bed pretty early tonight, because I didn't get a good nap and I have to do a lot of manual labor in the hot sun and humidity tomorrow.  You can bet I will use plenty of deodorant. 

I plan to have a sausage patty for breakfast, with some fruit.  That should be a good breakfast. 

I ate a lot of cashews today so I don't know if I will weigh myself tomorrow.  We'll see. 

I hope Torbie sleeps with me again tonight. 

You give love a bad name

Ron had a blackout during my nap.  Just the stuff that has become all too common.  Sigh.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

My last day off for a few days

Well, Biscuit's been fed so he stopped bugging me.  He gets up on his hind legs and wraps his front paws around my right hand, now. 

One reason I always have plenty of cat food, I can't take the chance of running out.  That would be horrible, hungry cats begging all the time...

I got up around 8 AM.  Sleeping late, for me, isn't very late.  I woke up at midnight with a moderate headache and took some aspirin, then took some more when I got up at 8. 

I was bad and ate a protein bar for breakfast.  My weight has been about the same.  I need to figure out what I'm - how I'm going to log my measurements and weight every day. 

I know I should do that, that and log every bite I eat, but SO TEDIOUS.  I guess I feel like, if I don't have any pain, and I'm not gaining, I don't need to worry as much. 

I had some cashews with my breakfast and that filled me up for a good long while. 

I took a shower and did part of my God Time.  I have been mildly depressed and everything feels so hard lately. 

We ordered Chinese food.  Wait, I got the "Dry string bean" dish which is roasted green beans with pork.  It looked like cut up, roasted, pork.  I ate it, it was pretty good.  I took my gelatin supplement (a packet, dissolved in water) with it to provide a little cushion for the lithium, then I took my meds.  It worked.   

I watched a little TV and took a nap.  I woke up around 5 PM. 

I fed Biscuit at 6 and will be going to bed pretty shortly.  I suspect we have an early day tomorrow. 

I hope you liked the photo of Biscuit, I couldn't get one that wasn't blurry, so I picked the best of the batch.  You do get a good view of the cute little gray "hat" and his adorable gray tail. 

Biscuit

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Checked the mail

Got my xray report: mild arthritis, soft tissue OK.

I slept OK last night, even though I didn't see Torbie.  She probably slept on the condo in my room, next to the bed.  I can't fault her for that, at least she is nearby. 

I got up and took my shower, then read my charity newsletters.  That took a while.  Then Ron got up and we went to Walmart. 

He wore his shorts and sandals, showing off all his leg scars, small cuts, and scrapes from running into stuff.  I have yet to meet a blind person with pretty legs. 

I took my bags with me, and took out some garbage Ron had collected, including two wine boxes and two liquor bottles. "Must have been some party" said the driver. 

"It's all Ron" I replied.  We boarded and off we went. I wanted some stuff like gelatin (I hear it is good for joints, and it won't disagree like glucosamine will), cat food, litter, drain cleaner, etc.  I got some foam plates and disposable cutlery.  When I finished, I went back up the produce department. 

I wanted some black grapes, I really like them and they are in season now.  I also got some more blackberries.  I looked at the citrus and apples but didn't really want anything out of season. 

I bought some organic lemons a week or so ago and they keep going bad on me.  That's what happens when you buy organic stuff out of season, it just doesn't have a long life.  I am debating if I want to buy the $2 bag of conventional lemons once I use these up.  I cut the lemon into pieces and put it in my water glass all day, so any chemicals in the peel will be leaching out into the water.  Something to think about. 

I went over to the "greens".  I got a bag of "rainbow kale", two different colors in the same bag, but it mainly seemed to be green kale and red stem pieces.  I think it is organic. 

Then I saw some multicolored carrots.  "Rainbow carrots" they call them, purple, orange, yellow, and white (each carrot is a different color).  They looked good, were organic, and very reasonably priced.  I also found some organic rainbow baby carrots and got those, too.  Last but not least, some celery.  I like it and it is good for lowering blood pressure (eat a couple stalks a day).  I figured I had plenty of produce by now, and I needed to find a place to put it in my fridge, so I checked out. 

I ended up with a muslim gal, she was nice but did freak out when a coworker pretended to pull off her headscarf.  You don't have to dress like that in Houston, of all places, but I guess her parents see her as a "good" girl.  I guess it was a good thing I didn't buy any bacon. 

I checked out and found Ron.  I left the cart with him (!) and went to McDonald's.  I was hungry.  I ordered a couple bunless double cheeseburgers and walked back to Ron. 

I saw a woman taking my shopping cart and leaving the building.  I ran after her.  She was the driver.  I told Ron as I took him to the van.  He got really upset at the driver and scolded her, then played some old soul music which she loved.  We went to a senior apartment complex but the client never came out, then we went to the house. 

I ate two of my burgers, bunless, on the way.  I offered the third to the driver but she said no. 

A Chinese woman on the vehicle kept asking me if Ron was Mexican.  I kept saying no.  I thought she was rather rude. 

She did like the house, though. 

I got everything unloaded (I had 38# of cat litter in addition to the other things).  I got everything put in the house (I still need to work on putting everything away), and put away the produce.  I have plenty of meats in the freezer, precooked and just waiting to be warmed up. 

I ate the last of my "old" fruit before putting the new away.  The "old" grapes were starting to shrivel but still good. 

Since there were 4 kids in my childhood home, food never had a chance to go bad.  And my stepsister had a friend live with us for a year, too. 

I took a nap.  I was awoken by someone tapping on the door.  I didn't answer.  They eventually went away.  The garbage truck came and took it all away.  I plan to put my can up when I go check the mail. 

I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up.  Then I tried lying down again, this time with Biscuit.  He laid on my legs and we had a good time, but it is impossible for me to sleep with a cat laying on me.  I stayed there for about 40 minutes. 

In the meantime, I was running the "clean" cycle on my washer.  You have to do that at least once a month, or every 6 loads.  I got up and on the computer. 

Ron is asleep.  He has been OK to me today. 

He isn't, always.  I called one relative and let her hear Ron cursing me out for a while, just to document it.  I didn't want them to think I was exaggerating or whatever. 

I don't know what may happen.  Ron may fry his liver taking Tylenol and vodka.  He may kill himself during one of his blackouts.  He could hurt me during one of his blackouts. 

Regardless of what happens, I think everything needs to be documented, one reason I put so much into this blog. 

On a happier note, Biscuit is sleeping behind my chair, waiting for his dinner.  I think I will feed him early because he was so cute. 

Dinner is more "fun" for the cats because they get dry food in addition to the wet.  They love dry food. 

I poured drain cleaner down the pipes about 30 minutes ago.  I like to do that now and then to clean the pipes.  My motto is to prevent the clog, not treat it.  It was awful back in 2014 when the drain line backed up and I raw waste in my bathtub.  We couldn't even use the toilet until the plumber came out and fixed it. 

I sure don't want a repeat of that. 

Off to feed Biscuit. 

Baby Girl

On one of the cat condos.

Torbie

She put up her paw right as I took her photo.  In my lap.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Heather, the snake wrangler

I didn't sleep well last night, worried about the vending machines. 

Torbie slept with me, though.  I got up and did my usual morning routine, and Hello!  There's a snake in the hall!  It was about 6-8 inches long, a little brown snake.  They always look like this: 

That is not me holding it, just some random internet dude.  I always round up the snake with the broom and dustpan (wrangle?), and take it out the front door to live a new life outside. 

This one was livelier than most, though, he (?) kept raising his head and swiveling it back and forth.  It touched my hand as I exited the house. 

I did the Texan thing, I screamed, and dropped the dustpan.  The snake was OK, it took off once it realized it was outside.  I took a second to recover. 

Biscuit likes to bring me snakes, and apparently there are a lot of them in the catio for him to catch, and fetch, so many for me. 

Frosty used to do that, bring me the dirt snakes. 

I am sorry, neighbors, about the scream. 

We went to work.  I was worried someone might have run off with "our" pallet jack, but no one had.  They had moved it, though, which gave me a little bit of a start. 

We waited for the repairman.  Ron did something pointless with the soda for a while, but eventually gave up. 

He told me "You were right, I didn't need to do that". 

The repairman came, with his brother.  They got all the machines put back in pretty short order.  They all worked, too.  I got the guys some cold drinks and Ron paid them.  Then they left. 

Now it was time to work.  Yesterday, we had to take out cases and cases of drinks to make the machines lighter.  Ron and I put them back.  Then Ron stocked what sodas needed work while I worked on snacks.  It took a while. 

My shoulder was fine with all the reaching and lifting.  Funny to see how much diet affects my pain level and overall functionality. 

I took the pallet jack out to someone who needed it.  She was happy to get it. 

Finally done.  We left, hours late (Ron had put our ride on hold).  The next ride came pretty fast, considering.  We had to go miles out of our way, in the opposite direction, to take the other client home. 

I was pretty sure the driver was a lesbian but I don't have good gaydar.  It didn't matter, she was a good driver. 

We finally got to our location, and had her drop us off.  We went to the Kolache factory first, because they were about to close.  I got a diet Dr Pepper and Ron got a ham and cheese.  Then we went to Subway. 

I had them turn the "Spicy Italian" into a salad.  It was pretty good, but it didn't agree with the heavy whipping cream steamer I had at Starbucks.  I am still rather queasy, hours later.  I just took some ginger root, hopefully that will help.  It seems to be, already. 

Ginger root is really good stuff, cheap, and I can get a good quality at Walmart.  I take the capsules. 

After we finished Ron called to take this ride off of hold.  There was some confusion, but we eventually got our ride.  It was the driver with the purple braids.  I like her hair.  We had to go to the hospital to pick up a little old lady in a wheelchair, but that didn't take long. 

Ron said his gut was rumbling and he needed to get home quick.  The driver made that happen.  Ron just made it to the toilet in time. 

I hate these bowel dramas.  They are a result of his overuse of glucosamine.  He is supposed to take a few grams a day, he takes several, sometimes up to 8, depending on his pain level.  Glucosamine has been very good for the arthritis in his hand but it will cause digestive upset at high doses. 

Because I take lithium, I can't take glucosamine.  I tried once and I felt like I had food poisoning, doubled over on the toilet with wracking cramps for hours.  It's a shame.  Glucosamine is good stuff. 

My suggestion, get a pill cutter when you buy your glucosamine.  Cut the pill in half or even in thirds, and then take it.  See how you react. 

I checked the mail, just some charity newsletters.  I am hoping to get my X-ray report.  I helped Ron treat the cats (Baby Girl hissed at him when he moved the leg she was lying on, I swear that cat needs medication). 

I decided to take a nap, and called Torbie.  I was very excited when I felt a cat jump up on the bed, and then I saw it was Biscuit. 

Now, I could be like Ron, pout and sulk because I didn't get the cat I wanted, or I could pet him and encourage him to lay down.  I did the latter.  He laid down between my legs and curled up, throwing a leg over my thigh in a very lax manner.  I cuddled with him for about 20 minutes. 

I gave up.  I knew he was hungry, he had been bugging me for dinner since I got home, but the quiet cuteness did what no amount of begging could accomplish: I got up and fed him dinner, early. 

He was so excited when I said "Come On!" and realized I was going to feed him.  Baby Girl joined in, too, but Biscuit was tearing up that dry food. 

After he finished, he came back to bed.  I found that so endearing.  We had a cuddle for a while yet, but I couldn't move with him on top of me.  I finally got up, leaving him in the bed. 

I hope he doesn't puke in it. 

I took some ginger root for my stomach, which seems to be helping.  I just need to put gelatin on my shopping list for tomorrow, and charge my cell phone, before I go back to bed. 

I'm not as tired as you'd think; I'm not sure if it's because I had a bottle of Diet Dr Pepper today, in addition to my morning Diet Mountain Dew, or something else, but I'm pretty alert. 

I am just so glad my shoulder is better. 

What a morning

I didn't sleep well last night, and Torbie slept with me for a while.  That was nice. 

Ron has some issues with Torbie, she loves to get in his bed.  He feels it deters Baby Girl from cuddling with him.  But he still wants both cats. 

I told him he has to choose, but he won't.  So he feeds Torbie treats and then shoves her on the floor, then drags Baby Girl into bed. 

Biscuit brought me a snake, which I had to take outside this morning.  It was very lively. 

I am waiting on my repair man to move the machines.   More later.

Monday, July 31, 2017

"We would be at work for a while"

I didn't sleep well last night, I was worried about all the things that could go wrong today.  Then Torbie threw up in the bed, and I had to clean that up.  Later on, I woke up with pressed against me, warm and soft.  She is so sweet. 

I woke up a little late and rushed around getting things done.  One thing seemed pretty certain: we would be at work for a while.  So I fixed myself a sausage patty for breakfast and stuck a banana in the bag on the back of the wheelchair.  I also took a spoonful of coconut oil. 

Our ride arrived.  On the way to work, I told her I had "fixed" my shoulder through diet.  She wanted to know what I ate.  Fruits, vegetables (she's nodding), nuts (smiles approvingly), and meat. 

"YOU CAN'T EAT MEAT!" she screams.  It turns out she's a vegan.  There's no reasoning with the vegans, they have been brainwashed and refuse to listen to reason.  They don't realize the "vegan" sausage, pastries, etc. are full of processed crap and very unhealthy for them. 

In her case, her very obese grandmother is losing a lot of weight eating vegan.  Well, yeah, because there's nothing fun to eat. 

I was too tired to "get into it" with her.  But I did take pleasure in giving her my recipe for steamed kale in the microwave, with bacon bits.  She shuddered. 

We got to work.  Business as usual, end of the month accounting stuff.  I couldn't get a meter reading out of soda #2.  Other than that, pretty typical.  I did some stocking and Ron made sure the soda machines were nice and full. 

Time passed.  Where was the cleaning crew?  I saw some maintenance guys working on moving the other vendor's equipment back into "his" breakroom.  They did so without any problems.  I asked one of the guys about my cleaning crew. 

They have been crawling up our butts for over a month, raving about dirt under our vending machines, and demanding we move them so they could clean.  We called the number they gave us, last week, and told them we would be ready to go at 8:30 on Monday morning. 

"Oh, that's today?' 

Great.  He ran off.  I did manage to tell them I would need a pallet jack before we could move the machines. 

One of the guys came by, a couple minutes later, with a pallet jack. 

About that time the repairman contacted us.  He had arrived.  I let him in and he asked where "all the guys" were.  Good question.  We were supposed to have a full crew, I thought. 

Our area was conspicuously vacant, except for a couple of women mopping off in the corner.  The repairman looked at me, I looked at him.  "I will help as much as I can" I said. 

He opened the soda vending machines.  "These are supposed to be empty".  RON!  Ron just went on automatic pilot and filled them up like he always does. 

We had to "unstock" the three soda machines to make them lighter for the repairman.  It took a while, and my hands got numb from the cold sodas. 

He was able to move the bottled vendor, the three snack machines, and the two bill changers without any trouble.  He did need my help with the pallet jack, to get the soda machines.  We would tip the machine back, put the pallet jack under it, let the machine down.  Then he would push it more firmly onto the pallet jack.  Then he held the back while I "drove" it to our destination. 

Remember I don't drive.  I did OK, except for hitting a chair twice, and having to throw myself in front of it, once, to make it stop.  That's the nice thing about having some mass.  If I was a little skinny thing it would have run me over. 

We finally got them done.  All lined up in a row, unplugged, and sad looking. 

Then the bill.  $200.  He said that was a good deal, and I believe him.  You either trust your repairman, or you don't.  He said the cheapest guy he got quoted was $50 per machine just if the pallet jack touches the machine. 

Ron wasn't around, and he had the money, so I paid him out of my emergency money. 

Of course we have to pay it all again, tomorrow.  Then I have to put ALL those sodas back in the vending machines because they got mixed up and Ron won't be able to tell them apart. 

After the repairman left, Ron got pretty ugly with me.  Name calling, belittling, etc.  I wanted to ask him who just busted her ass helping him all morning but then he would have just gone on a tirade at God. 

If he wants to act like a jackass in front of witnesses, that's on him.  I know the customers talk.  There are very few secrets in the plant.   I just feel bad for the guy who ran over him, knowing that Ron is treating me like crap now. 

I asked him for my money back and he refused.  I was very unhappy.

The cleaners showed up with their floor stripper, buffer, and wax.  Good, at least it's getting done today.  By the time we left they had stripped the floor and were getting ready to wax it. 

We left.  He wanted to sit under a tree.  Fine.  I sat under a bench.  The ride came.  The driver was a little timid, not a good combination. 

We got Ron loaded and headed off to the bank.  I had taken the money out of the vending machines and he had counted it.  We were going to pay me, and hopefully pay me back. 

We had just enough to pay my salary, plus $200 more.  I told him "I took that money out of my own savings".  Ron acted as if he didn't understand I had used my money to pay the man (where else would I have gotten it?).  "Oh!" 

Then he paid me back.  If he had not paid me back within a few days I would have taken the money out of our savings account and told him about it.   I would have also told him I was never paying anyone again because he had proven he was unreliable about paying me back. 

As it turns out, he did do the right thing, but I was very disappointed in him.  He had a chance to do the right thing, and he didn't, not until I practically beat him over the head with it. 

That's almost as bad as not doing it at all. 

At least I am saved making a speech about it. 

We called a cab.  It was pretty late for us and I was tired.  Happily a man showed up in a few minutes.  He put the wheelchair away and was very nice, followed directions, etc. 

We went through a Burger King drive-through.   I forgot how the double cheeseburger is very small, and ordered two.  Ron ordered a large fries.  There's a healthy meal. 

They had the food ready quickly and we went home.  I threw away the buns and ate the patties.  I decided it looked big enough for the lithium, at least.  I ate some fruit with it (blackberries and grapes), and took my medication.  I was right, I was OK. 

I took a nap.  Torbie was off-and-on in my bed.  I had a hard time falling asleep and felt very restless.  I finally got up and decided to post. 

I only had one can of Diet Dr Pepper, in addition to my usual Diet Mountain Dew for breakfast.   I wonder if that's what messed me up? 

And there's BISCUIT!  He's purring and rubbing up against me.  I like Biscuit because he is more interactive than the other cats.  He's one of the only cats that will come up to me when I am on the computer, for some petting and lovies.  Now he's lying on the floor behind me. 

Oh, and I started my cycle today.  Happily not in a flood, while moving a vending machine.  Much more subtle and manageable. 

Now I plan to go watch some TV and then clean the litter boxes.  If I love the cats, I have to show it, and not just feeding them. 

If I won the lotto it would be nice to have a maid to come and clean the boxes. 

Consolation

Ron needs to realize, not everyone is consoled by his "Don't worry, the end of the world is coming soon" speech.  Agh.