He was very rude and mocking. Said I "sounded like a mommy" as he laughed derisively.
I asked if he had any other women willing to help him get dressed, where they were, and would he like me to be a bitch about it. He shut up after that.
And he peed on the carpet again. I need to talk to him about that. I may need to help him use the urinal from now on (not looking forward to that).
Definitely doing vinyl planks in his room.
20 comments:
You wont
Why the hell does he keep pissing on the floor? To me it sounds like he is doing it out of spite and on purpose. I would have talked to him the minute I found out. It will be near impossible for you to help him use the piss bottle every single time.
He will need to wear depends if he is becoming incontinent and it continues to happen.
You will need vinyl flooring and when you get a new bed for him a waterproof mattress pad or there is no point in buying a new mattress because it will be ruined very quickly.
Now onto the fact that he keeps changing his mind about staying in the program and working. Another reason you need to get other employment because when he quits it will be on a whim with no notice to you and you will be left scrambling for employment (same as when he told the boss he couldn't do the reports anymore without talking to you about it). Plus this is the reason ALL decisions need to be made by you because he in incapable of making any decisions. This goes for the above and the depends and mattress pad also. Unless you like living in a piss smelling house then by all means let him call all the shots.
So you are going to get vinyl flooring and let him keep urinating on the floor? Is there nothing you won't allow this man to get away with?
That is just nasty! If you don't follow though and don't get him into rehab or nursing home, I'm afraid you're going to lose all the support from your followers here. We're all pulling for you, but if you don't take some of our advice we're going to give up. Many of us have spent time getting you links for help, and a great deal of time here giving you support. All of that for someone we don't even know in real life, but only want to help.
Ron needs an independent advocate to ensure that he is living in acceptable conditions, being treated properly, and not being financially exploited.
Heather's version of the story is just that. Her version. The video she uploaded yesterday spoke volumes. Probably why she has taken it down.
No one knows why Ron is doing anything because he is not getting appropriate medical or psychological care. Could be medical. Could be behavioral. Could be irreversible. Could be easily corrected. No one knows because he has not received proper medical care even though he has clearly had significant setbacks in the past few months.
Why are you letting him get away with urinating on the floors? This has got to be either intentional or medical. If it is medical he needs to see a doctor. You need not only waterproof vinyl but stain proof too.
Ron gets most of the money and makes most of the decisions about work and where we are going, he's got the power, not me.
I took the video down because I did not want people passing it around and gossiping like those "rabble rousers" board from some years back.
A good example..today I asked Ron if he wanted to resign the business, as we were getting ready. He said yes, laughed, said no, of course not, what would I do all day? And that says it. He has bad days, so do I. But we signed up to live together because in many ways we are compatible.
And every day we make a series of decisions which affect how our days turn out. He is allowed to make bad choices, at times.
Why aren't you commenting on his peeing on the floor?
He either didn't line up with the urinal or he spilled it after he peed. I have seen both. He is old, he drinks a lot, he is clumsy due to the stroke. Carpet is just a terrible idea in his room. There's a good reason you don't see carpet in hospitals and long term care facilities. With the vinyl plank flooring I will just mop it up and give it a good swipe with a disinfecting wipe.
Bad days isn't peeing on the floor and pooping in one's crack and calling their wife every four letter word in the book. I don't think you understand normal relationships.
It's too bad walk in tubs are so expensive, I bet Ron would be happy to take a bath.
So because ron makes most of the money he has the power. Typical abuser mentality. Letting a drink, depressed, man have this much control in your life speaks volumes about you and him.
From what Ron has said he wants it to be about 100 degrees in the bathroom when he has the bath, "it takes too long" in the tub - because he doesn't want me helping, and he wants tepid water not warm. Those are the most common reasons given. He has never said he didn't want a bath because it was too hard getting in and out.
Remember we only have the one bathroom so whatever he gets will directly affect my shower every day.
Try sharing 1 bathroom with 5 people.
I did share a bathroom with, for several years, 5 people growing up. When my parents bought the house in CA they were very pleased to announce it had 3 bathrooms. Then I shared 1 bathroom with 2 others. But only 2 showers in the house so I shared the shower with 3 others. I am used to sharing, only had a bathroom to myself a couple months in 2000 when Ron was away at his training.
100 degrees is ridiculous and completely unreasonable.
There’s two of you and you only work a few hours a week you have plenty of time to figure out showers lol
Exactly. They are home more than they are away there is no reason why they can't share the bathroom.
If Ron is cold in the bathroom you can get a special light in there to make it warm like I’ve seen in some hotels. They have a timer. Not sure how expensive it is but I do understand the need for an elderly person to stay warm. My husbands grandpa needed things very warm as he got up there in age. I Mean if a heat lamp gets him to bathe it would be worth it. He NEEDS to bathe. The smell must be awful and it’s not fair to people to drag him out in public around to have to smell. Let alone himself if he can even smell it. And then his breath must be so bad because of his unbrushed teeth.
I have a space heater set up now so it "shoots" into the room but is not in the way.
The bath wipes do a pretty good job on him my big complaint are the urinal spills on his carpet (not for long!) in his room.
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