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Showing posts from September, 2012

I've never run out of Bibles

I could do a heartbreaking post on my "lack" of Bibles.  "I only have enough for two Handouts" I'd say... "And not very big ones at that.  Please pray God sends me more Bibles."

I could - but I won't.  I remind myself often "God is mighty to save".  Isaiah 63:1  So, I let Him.  

If God wants to get me Bibles, He will work to make that happen.  I imagine my sponsors get the same itch I do "I need to buy Heather some Bibles" and pretty soon, I've got a case on the porch.  

If not, I'll Handout what I've got and save my pennies for the next one.  I've never run out of Bibles.  I remember one time, things were very tight.  I could only afford $25 for Bibles.   I called the bookstore to ask them to hold 50 Bibles.  They got the manager; he said he wouldn't do it.  Why?  "Someone just bought you 300 Bibles".

So, I don't worry.  My life has been ALL about stepping out in faith.  In fact, many famous e…

A strong back

Metrolift does not go to my church.  They get pretty close, but not all the way.

I knew Justin from an internet message board.  He attends the church.  When he found out Ron and I needed a ride, he was happy to step up.

So, every Sunday, he comes to get us.  He's a good man.  I like him because he teases Ron; exactly what Ron needs.

I also like him because he shares many, many of my beliefs.  This is not a love letter to Justin.

While talking to him today, he just looked at me as I discussed, with eager anticipation, my upcoming handout in Acres Homes.  I just have an itch to go there.  We did our last handout in Acres Homes, and we both had a good time (except for eating some bad BBQ after - it was very fatty).

He said something along the lines of "Wow, you really want to do this" and I basically replied I am called to it.  I am hard pressed to think of any statement that says "I need a medication tune up", more than "I am called to go ___"  I g…

Video Blog!

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Yay, I got another follower!  I wasn't planning on doing a video blog but I will, to celebrate.


Cute purring footage at 12:04.

Deliverance from addictions

I'm just not feeling a video blog tonight.

I'm not in despair, just depressed "enough" that everything seems hard.  Ugh.

No headache, bladder seems happy.  I got a galloping attack of the stupids early today.  Ron finds it "cute" and endearing.  I think it makes him really happy because it's tangible proof I am medicated.

Our relationship took a big twist when I got medicated - his drinking actually started picking up as I got better.  I was the mentally sick person, and he wasn't.  Then I was better and he was sick.

He went to the liquor store today, but only bought beer.  Good.  I was a little nervous with the whiskey in the house.  Thanking God for that.  I don't say anything, AA is pretty clear on that.

"Deliverance from addictions" - something I pray every day.

The cats are doing well.  Bubba is establishing dominance over the kitten, which is vital.  He came and sat with me in the yard for a while today, which I really love…

Considering

Today, we ran some errands.

I was very upset, right before my trip, when I pulled my "new" black jeans out of the dryer and realized they had fallen apart.  I wore the blue ones, when traveling, instead.

I wanted to return them, but I felt like I had a vicious parasite, in my head, gnawing my brain.  I manage to get the jeans returned.

Last year, Walmart had some cute sweats.  I waited too long and the purple ones sold out.  I made sure I got BOTH purple sweats today.  It's not like I can wear them to church, or anything, but I know anything purple in a sporty style will be a big wardrobe feature.

I looked around a little more, and got some food items, soda, and cat litter.  I also got some canned cat food.  The kids will love it.

After that, we went home.

A little later, Ron made a trip to check out our "satellite" vending machine, which needs stocking.  I went to  a dollar store, too.  I was happy to get some daily shower cleaner, some body wash, variou…

I want it to stick!

I've been plagued with some nasty headaches lately.  Pretty much everyday, on my scale, a "Bad headache" to "Migraine" (basically mid-range).

I don't think it's triggered by coming home.  It could be any number of things, but I will be sitting down at the blood pressure checker at work tomorrow.

You can find my post "The Galveston Bladder Infection" - it seems that every time I go on vacation, I bring home a bladder infection, which is ironic because I didn't get lucky on any of them.  Can a woman get lucky?  I don't know... but it was a hassle, expensive ($100 per), and painful.

Praise God, this time I managed to whack it.  I drank a lot of water, very careful, and took my herbal things.

Why?  I'm not sure.  I can only guess I'm more rushed in the bathroom, with less bathroom access, and maybe less fluid intake.

My, I'm positive.  I'm also cycling depressed.  I'm just thanking God I did not while on vacation -…

I have a severe medical condition

I think God is working on my pride.

Proud of a job well done - probably a good thing.  Dwelling on it?  Probably a bad thing.

It is very easy for me to focus on what I have done, and not what I have yet to do.  It's one reason I don't keep track of the number of Bibles distributed.  I do know pride will render me useless; so I welcome whatever correction God sends my way.

Currently, migraines.  A couple of migraines, and a couple more bad headaches.  Now, last Wednesday was my fault.  I ate chocolate chip cookies, delicious ones, then I went to a candle shop and smelled a lot of candles - either activity would have triggered a migraine.  Both, definitely.

The rest, I'm attributing to unusual activity.  No naps, lots of activity, limited sleep, weird foods (delicious foods that are not usual for my daily intake), weird medication timing, not surprising.

I told Ron, this week, I intend to focus on catching up on my sleep and getting back into my usual routine.  Travel c…

Thank you, TSA

You're probably gaping at your computer right now.  I mean it.

Monday, last week, the day I was due to leave, was crazy.  It culminated in me running around the house, wearing my jeans, looking for my bra, which I realized, to my horror, had been placed in the washer on "soak" cycle.  My good bra was packed.

So, I stood there, topless, begging God to please help me find a bra, because our ride is honking outside.  I found a grimy old bra I use for yard work - with an underwire.

The last time I flew, 3 years ago, security had a metal detector.  I was unsure what to expect.

I got to the airport, early, and much of it was the same as it had been 3 years ago.  Take off my shoes and jacket, place them in the bin.

However, the metal detector was gone, the scanner looked like something out of a sci-fi movie, and my medication gave me a roaring attack of the "stupids".  I could barely walk a straight line, much less figure out what was expected.

The TSA agents co…

I'm glad I have my backpack.

As I stood by the side of the dark and deserted road, at 1 AM, I experienced something.  Vindication.

Why?  After all, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, in the rain, with no immediate hope of rescue.

I had my backpack.

I also had my brother, who had multiple knives, a camping setup, flashlights, and the willingness and ability to fix the car and deal with any problems that might arise.

Even if I'd been alone, though, I would have been alright.  I had a flashlight.

Why is a flashlight such a big deal?  Well, when I have to pee in a ditch, in the middle of the night, by the side of the road, in Florida, I'd REALLY like to know there aren't any snakes or gators around!  Thanks to the flashlight, I could verify it was safe before starting my business.

I was also glad I'd brought my sneakers - it was nice to change out of my sandals before stepping out of the car.  I had matches if we needed to start a fire.

If I got hungry, I had beef sticks in my b…

Life as Mission Trip

Have you ever been on a mission trip?

I'll tell you about the ones I did, in the late 80's.  My parents paid the church, some amount of money, for my passage.

The church picked me and my luggage (one bag of clothes, a backpack, and a few toiletries), and took us on a road trip to the slums of Tijuana.  This was when it was safe to take American teens into "TJ".

We went to an orphanage in a slum, and engaged in physical labor, improving the orphanage, for a few days.  The thinking went along the lines of "They will know we are Christians by our love, and it will encourage them to get save".  We did no evangelizing.  We didn't even do Bible Study or prayer, except before meals.

I felt a little odd, but I always brought my trusty Bible.  I was the only one who did.  I don't believe the youth pastor even brought his Bible.  I never saw him reading it.

The conditions were "fairly" primitive.  We had a crude roof over our heads, no electrici…

Another story:

Here's what my brother said on Facebook:

"Friday about 5:25 pm ....well I got within about 2 miles of me Niece’s wedding in Ponte Vedra Beach... I was by 895 Palm Valley road ....when a dark blue Nissan sports-car of some verities, pasted me too close, clipped me , & sent me on the shoulder in gravel.... ass over shoulder blades.... Bike not drivable, broke off shifter, bent handle bars, road rash on left side...(note to self can fix all of this once I get it home 207.9 miles away)....a person from Virginia (Thank you) stopped (the blue car did not) let me use his cell phone to call me Sister Susan (who's already at wedding) told her what happened ......five minutes later I flagged down an off duty St Johns Dep. (named Chris ,on his way to gym) who helped me, told me he'd call it in, not too worry he'd tell on duty Dep's not to "red tag" the bike that I was coming back to bike ... & gave me a ride to the wedding, so I wouldn't miss it! (T…

Wedding bells week in review

This will be a long one.

Monday we went to work, I had all my luggage.  As I left the house with my luggage, all 4 bags, it rained.

As I unloaded the luggage, it rained.  It rained again after work, coming out to the car.

It was dry by the time I got to the airport.  The skycap commented on the Bible bag - very heavy.  I told him about the Handouts, and gave him a Bible along with a good tip.

I gave out Bibles at the airport - not to fellow travelers, that's against the rules.  I gave out what I would call a lot, but I only had about 40 or so to start.  That's all I could stuff in the bag.

I checked two bags, and carried my garment bag and backpack.  They took the garment bag at the gate, and I got it at my destination.  I was happy to get rid of it.

I had a good flight, gave one to my flight attendant.  She was happy to get it.  The other one said no.

On my next flight I got a "no" from God even before I realized the steward was gay.  We had a great time kidd…
Happy birthday. In a broken down car by the side of the road in the dark and the rain. I really need to pee and it is raining. Good news, with my brother, the one person I would want in this situation.
At the hair parlor. Bride looks great. Earlier, I met a retired army guy who told me his friend voted for O. I pretended to scold him and we all laughed. Very tired though.
Handing out Bibles every day. Always fun. Off to find cheap souveneirs, however you spell them.
Cell phone blog. Rained out, distributing at the mall. It's a lot harder than a regular handout. I'm just glad God can use me.

When we all get to Heaven

So I'm on a plane.  Thousands of feet in the air.  We hit turbulence, right as my music player starts "When we all get to heaven".  I had a hard time keeping back the giggles.

I am typing this on my kindle.

I love to fly, had a good trip, and hope to do a Bible Handout if it stops raining! God willstop it if He wants me distributing.

All my stuff got here ok.  I loved having my music and Kindle.  I was a little disappointed in myself.  I was a little impatient getting off the planes.  I kept covetiing the Diet Dr Pepper - I couldn't find one in the airport but a man had one.  Covet, covet.

I love Diet Dr's, but I can never find them when I travel!  Waah!

H ave a good one!  Off to eat breakfast and pill time, then shower.

I love you all.  ~ H

Lithium bladder action

Ron told me he was up most of the night.  He came and got a cuddle, reminded me of Bubba, a little.  He even laid down in Bubba's spot!

He left eventually, the inevitable lithium bladder action ran him off.  I'd rather pee every half hour, than be manic.  Ron got a little tired of moving.  I'm glad we have different bedrooms.

One thing I loved about the lithium from the start - it turned off the noise in my head.  I never knew my head was so noisy!

You know I have plenty of meds, if I get stuck in Florida for some reason.  I can always go to the super Walmart and get a refill.

I didn't see the kitten all night - good, I need to sleep.  I did, pretty well.  I will try to sleep on the plane, but it's doubtful.  I'll probably have a nice caffeine buzz until about 1 AM tomorrow, and crash.  It helps that my baseline, right now, is manic.

I was worried I'd cycle depressed on my visit - I still might, but at least today I'm OK, and I can't take tomor…

I guess I'd better come home

Whenever I fly by myself, Ron worries, a lot, about disaster.  Tonight he told my sister "If anything happens to Heather, I'm moving in with you!"

Well, I am certain that would be an all-around disaster.  I guess I'd better come home!

On a happier note, the cats seem to be adjusting; hanging out, nearby, without conflict.  That's a very good sign.  I thought it was funny - when I gave Bubba a can of something vile, the kitten slowly crept in, very submissive posture, and ate around the edges of the plate, on the other side.  I know a lot of long-term cats don't allow that!

Bubba did eat all the gravy.  He did that with Frosty, too.

I think he realizes she is just a dumb, energetic, baby.  They both slept in the bedroom today, Bubba on the bed, kitten on the floor.

I told Ron I'm sure Bubba will educate her while I'm gone.  Ron sleeps a lot during the day, so the cats can sort it out.

As for me, I'm packed.  I have over a months' worth of…

All I want for birthday...

It's my birthday, Saturday.  I will spend most of the day flying, on an airplane of course!  
What would I like for my birthday?  Bibles.  That's really it.  Which Bible?  Any, really.  As long as it's in good condition.  
I want to work with a very delicate touch as I write.  I find it really surprising; most of my Bibles come from people I've never met.  
I get some from my church (praise God!), the rest from internet friends.  When they feel led, they buy whatever they feel led to buy and have it shipped to my house.  
Closer to home - nothing.  I find that really interesting.  Ron pays the bills - I get that.  He is "strapped".  
My aunt has gotten me plenty of Bibles, including surprises I didn't expect.  Thank you!  She helped reach a lot of people.  
When my birthday or Christmas arrives, here's a box from the rest - it might have some tracts, which I love, and.... other stuff.  I want to tell them, you don't have to shop, just get me a cas…

I answer to God.

I admit it.  I have hoarder tendencies.  My home is usually a mess.

I always thought it was 100% "my fault", but I gained an important insight tonight.  I have my areas of the house, and Ron has his.

Ron has always told me "I was completely tidy until I met you, but the house is so awful, who cares".  Variations of that.  Screaming at me, throwing me out in the middle of the night, raving, raving, screaming.

I could go on, but I don't believe in living a victimhood.  At any rate, his version of "helping" me as usually screaming at me, raving, and threatening to throw my work clothes in the dumpster - that kind of thing.  Not helpful at all.

I have tried to ask him for help, reasoning things out.  My big issues are 1.  Getting things when manic. 2.  Where do I put this?  and 3.  Hanging onto stuff I don't use.    4.  Getting rid of trash.

I have gotten very good at dealing with #1.  For instance, the last "good" mania I got a few sel…

Left Behind

After my last post, I went to Walmart.  On Saturday, around noon.  We had to go to the wholesale warehouse first thing, and then our WM ride was late.

Problem with that: I'm on a deadline to get outside for my ride.  If I'm not there, we are left behind.

However, on a Saturday, people want to linger over every item in the store.  The favorite thing is to get in front of me, I'm clearly rushing, and then slow to a crawl, staring in fascination at the display of toilet plungers or butt scratchers.  It's like they have to stop and examine each end cap for 2 or 3 minutes, before moving forward another couple feet.

Or the other one, tell me if you hate this too.  They park the cart in the middle of the aisle, so you can't get through.  Then they go off to the side to look at an item, I can't get by, and then they get an attitude if I touch the cart to move it.  Sometimes they leave the kid in the cart, and then I really can't go anywhere near the cart or they…

Saturday morning!

Last night I had a nightmare.  Ron was angry I refused to buy him alcohol.  He gets upset about this every now and then, and gets ugly.  The last time he refused to take me on a Bible Handout and threatened to cut off all my transportation, except work.  

However, last time I went on vacation by myself, he was very accommodating, understanding, and empathetic when I got back.  I believe, on many levels, he was afraid I wouldn't return.

I can hear you!  I can hear what you're thinking!  [grin]  "Yes, Heather, you should leave him!  Run like hell and don't look back!"

Well, I need my Bubba (the big black cat).  Last night, the kitten, trying to endear herself, got into my bed and tried to cuddle.

Poor cats.  I am a lousy bedmate.

As you know, Ron and I have separate bedrooms.  Many reasons for that.

I tend to toss and turn, rolling right over the poor cat, whoever it is, in my bed.  They learn to avoid me.  She tried, though, cuddling on my chest, my neck, and…

Keeping my mouth shut

Privacy and betrayal.  Potent subjects.

So, this is one issue I won't discuss.  I will just ask you, if you pray, to please ask God to guide me on what He wants me to do.

Boy, I have so much to say, but this is one night I'm keeping my mouth shut.

It's not related to Ron or my marriage.  (((hugs)))

A good hit of Tea Rose

To answer your question, Jillian, about the do-not-publish, I agree.

What's the thought for today?  Voting with my money.

For instance, some other Christian ladies and I were talking about perfume, and I was really shocked.  A lot of them like Victoria's secret.

Y'all know I like some cheap generic stuff I found online.  Today I wore "Orange Blossom".  I plan to take both the "Orange Blossom" and "Patchouli Lavender" when I travel next week.  I'll just tape the little roll-ons shut and stick them in my quart bag.

So, I don't have a personal axe to grind with any perfume company - I want to be clear on that.  In fact, as I type, it seems like most of the perfume companies use very seductive, visual ads to convince women to try their perfume.

Ron has allergies.  I can wear something off and on for years, and suddenly it provokes a huge allergy attack.  He thinks my "Tea Rose" smells like "Old Ladies" so I only we…

A pretty good trade

Well, the current events are rather frustrating for me.

Now, I have to say a good portion of my "ministry" is witnessing to, and sharing Bibles, with muslims. I can't be a hater or God will have to send someone else.  I ask Him to put His love in my heart, and He does.

I hate getting political; but I just wish some people would realize, when America gives you billions of dollars, props up your government, it's a good idea not to bite the hand feeding you.  Libya, too.

Does anyone else find it interesting, that "the religion of peace" - how they portray themselves, loving, peaceful family values.  Until they get "offended" and then they are really rabid animals devouring all in their path.

Remember the female reporter raped last year in Egypt?  They kept shouting "Jew" as they took turns with her - and the media said nothing about it.  She was "attacked".  She was wearing the "getup" and all but they decided they w…

Testimony, if you haven't heard it.

I can't remember if I've done a "testimony" blog, so I thought I'd do one.

As you know, my mother drank a lot, every day, while she was carrying me.  She damaged my brain.  She was also bipolar and had a lot of high-drama.

She had lost my brother a few years before; he died of the Bubble Boy disease.  I am most likely a carrier, which is why I married a sterile man (Ron had the operation).

So, there I am, lying in my crib, massively neglected - that's my first memory.  I also have a few positive memories of my first cat.

My mother couldn't care for herself, or me.  Long story short, child protective services got involved, my mother lost custody, and moved out.  So did my sister, who was basically my "real" mom at that point.  I even lost my cat.

I was 3.  So, there I am, just me and my Dad.  We had a couple good years there.  He remarried when I was 5.

The other kids didn't like me.  I was different.  I was bullied at school.  I had a …

The harvest is almost in

I read this in tonight's devotional; and it helped answer some questions for me.

John 9:4
I mustworktheworks of Him who sent Me while itisday; thenightiscomingwhen no one canwork.

You may remember, I have mentioned a few more times: one more handout.  I think the handouts may be coming to an end.

Every evangelical Christian thinks the rapture is imminent, I agree.  I'm beginning to think that most of the people who can be reached, have been.

My last 2 Bible Handouts, I saw a lot of overt hostility towards God.  It was apparent they didn't care about me, but they had some major issues with Him.  

I feel like I'm seeing more and more of this on every handout - people who completely reject God.  In my early handouts, it felt more like they were rejecting me.  "Get away from my car, you wierdo".  "Go get a job and stop begging" - kind of energy.

Now it's OH, HIM!  It's like I'm trying to offer violent porn to a rape victim.  They are furio…

I forgot the sign??

I need to tell a little backstory.

Last Saturday, I did the "ghetto" handout.  Now, I figure the most important thing is for God to keep me useful, which also means humble.  I specifically ask God for this every day, and especially, repeatedly, after the Handouts.

So, Sunday morning, "Bible Lady" couldn't find my husband's braille Bible for over 15 minutes.  :pound  That sure works on the humility!

Today, I got all the way to the handout.  I had my vest.  I had my hat.  I had the Bibles, and my tote bag.

As we approached the corner, I realized "I don't have the sign".  AGH.

I thought some bad words, repented, and then said "God, I know you are using this to build humility.  If it's Your will, please help me to have a good handout in spite of the lack of a sign!"

I think the worst part of the whole experience, Ron's "helpful" suggestions and demands I go "make a new sign".  I finally told him God was…

A cat on my shoulder

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You know what you need?   You need a picture of a cat on my shoulder.

I'm not touching her at all, my hands were working the computer.


She likes to "help" on the computer.  We have her in today, they are doing construction.

I'm getting ready for the Bible handout.  First Bible went to a Muslim, who was happy to get it.  Second was rejected by the recipient.  Sad.

I'm praying for her anyway.

Now, off to do my handout.  I can't think of a better way to honor those who died.

Random questions

Some random thoughts I've had recently:

Today at work: which came first, the chicken salad, or the egg salad?

Why do the Christian dating websites put up ads on my Facebook, when my status is "married"?

Why do we only trust God when are lives are in the trash can?  Why don't we trust Him when things are good?

Why do I get so freaked out when things are going well?

Why do I have to go to a seminar on how to stock and repair vending machines, when that's all I've done for the last 11 and half years?

Where is my royalty check?  It should be coming any day, and boy we can use it.

Why does my flood insurance have so much better coverage (lower deductible, higher coverage rates) than my homeowner's?   For the same rate?

Would Ron and I ever be happy living in an apartment?  Would it really be cheaper and less stressful, or does God want us here in our home?

Why did Bubba hate the two black kittens, but loves the brown tabby?  Is he a racist?  Black-on-b…

Caught on camera

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I was worried about the kitten.

Bubba's got a good thing going, at home.  He has a nice routine, a quiet life, and adventures hunting in the yard, at night.  The last time a kitten came in the house, it peed everywhere and pestered Bubba to death.  He finally ran it off.

So, when Ron found the kitten, I was a little upset.  Yeah, she's cute, but hey, let's look after our boy.  Look what happened last time.

I had my heart padlocked.  No way will this work.  However, Ron begged, so I told him "If she doesn't bother Bubba, if he likes her, then she can stay".  I figured Bubba would run the kitten off in a few days, or she'd annoy Bubba.

However, I did notice some positive signs.  When she "met" Bubba, she greeted him with very submissive body posture, making small, desperate meows.  Bubba wasn't hissing or growling at her; his posture was alert.

As time passed, she's become very comfortable with Bubba.  They share meals - Bubba eats fi…

Daily drama

The hives are better.  If I get on them immediately with Benadryl and Steroid Cream they abate pretty quickly.  
Ron is having a bad day.  First, he was told he has to attend a mandatory conference in Austin.  At a hotel costing $100 a night; for 2 nights.  
He has to attend.  No choice.  We have to attend.  The seminar is "back to basics" and they talk about "How to maintain and repair a vending machine".  [rolleyes]  We have a very low repair bill, because I can usually figure it out (that, and I pray over and for the vending machines).  
So, they want to teach us how to brush our hair, so to speak.  We have to attend.  
Ron doesn't like other people telling him what to do.  He doesn't like being "forced" into doing anything he doesn't want to do.  
I got to hear ALL about it, for hours on end.  Funny.   Ron doesn't want me to even mention how that thug stuck a gun in my face, I have talked about it for maybe 4 minutes, if I talk about i…

One more handout!

Good news: the new cat is working out VERY well.  She and Bubba are good friends, playing nicely, greeting each other, and sharing their food.  It warms my heart, even when my fickle Bubba comes dragging home at 6 AM to crash into bed (he was still in bed when I got home, from church, at 2).   Ron didn't see him last night, either.  

Not so good: hives today.  Ah, retro persecution- like when I had the hives back in 2009.  Happily, I have my doctor's wonderful class 3 steroid cream and my benadryl.

I'm guessing it was wheat.  I had a sandwich for lunch - so no wheat until I'm off to Florida, AND you can bet I'm taking my steroid cream.

We had a good time at church, Ron even sang a little.  They talked some about the rapture before the sermon, and I kept thinking "One more handout, Lord!"  Every other Christian I know is screaming to go, and I'm asking for another handout!  I have to laugh at myself, especially when my computer began playing "Pa…

Ghetto Handout

So, there I was; standing on a really bad corner, in a notorious part of town.  I'm holding my Free Bibles sign and my tote bag full of Bibles.  Ron's sitting near me in his wheelchair, on the median.  I'm wearing a plain white T-shirt, baggy capris, cheap sneakers, my safety vest, and a safety orange ball cap.  Ron is wearing his usual t-shirt and knit cotton shorts.

As I smile and wave at passing cars, one passes me and comes to a stop, abruptly.  Two large black men get out.  They are dressed in "thug" apparel, one has a gold chain, and they're coming my way.  They are scowling.

I wave at them and reach into my bag as they approach.  "How many would you like?"

The bigger guy looks at me as I grin.  "One".  I tried to give the other guy one, but apparently they're roommates.

That, friends, was my handout.  On the outside, very scary.  I saw people who were high, people in gangs.  I saw people with "teardrop" killer tatt…