Monday, July 24, 2017

Death warmed over

Horrible migraine all night.  Feel like crap, look pasty and sweaty.  Off to work!

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Simple is always better

Migraine's been pretty bad today. 

I vomited once already and feeling like I might again. 

My hair kept getting everywhere, so I tried tying it back with an elastic and getting it out of the way, but it made a hard lump on the back of my head when I lay down.  I eventually took it out. 

I laid down, vomited, laid down again.  I had a pretty big (half gallon) container of drink (diet tea) next to my bed so I worked on that once I got thirsty again.

I currently have a drill like pain in my head that makes it impossible to think. 

However, after reading all the comments I tried to fix the garage door.  No luck.  It just isn't working.  I know the guy will come out and have it fixed in 2 seconds, he will show me, and it will appear to be the same moves I made tonight, but they won't. 

I will make him stay until I am pretty sure I have it down, although I don't think this will happen again.  Ron has agreed not to use the garage door if we have an active thunderstorm going. 

I can't help but think all this would be over if I just had a manual garage door.  I could open and close it whenever I wanted, but Ron wanted to go "big time" and have a remote.  Ugh. 

Simple is always better. 

My shoulder hurts.  I think the headache I have might be a rebound headache caused by using painkillers.  Basically, the minute the painkiller wears off, you get a headache, the only way to stop it is to stop using the painkiller.  So I will do that if possible. 

Ugh.  I am just, physically, miserable.  I can't think and the light is killing my head. 

I'm going to bed early. 

At least Ron is being nice. 

I told him so

After we got stuck with the garage door open, Ron waited in the garage.  The plan was to wait until the power came back, then lower the door. 

As I mentioned, it had a manual release.  I was sure I could get it down but not sure I could get it working with the motor again.  I kept telling Ron this. 

Ron got impatient and demanded I use the manual release.  I told him I would, but I wouldn't be responsible if it didn't work.  I closed it.  He asked me if it would work now, I said I did the only thing I could see to do, and we would have to find out tomorrow.  About 20 minutes later the power came back on and we went to bed. 

I woke with a migraine.  I took some aspirin and Phenergan, it's not working very well.  I still have a horrible headache, nausea, the works.  I can't even sleep. 

I thought it might be caffeine related, I drank a diet Mountain Dew.  No luck. 

Ron woke up and wanted me to check the garage door.  Guess what, it doesn't work!  I told him if he had just waited for 20 minutes we would have saved a service call.  Now we will have to pay $60-100 for the guy to come out and fix it. 

He did agree not to use the garage door opener if we are having an active thunderstorm at the time.  He did agree to that. 

I told him so.  Money is really tight right now, we don't have $100 to waste.  We both have to see the doctor on Tuesday, prescriptions, etc.  I am really frustrated that he had a tantrum and decided he didn't want to wait on Centerpoint (our electrical repair guys) any more.  20 minutes! 

I really feel terrible.  I am going back to bed.  Hopefully I will be able to sleep. 

I don't even want to watch TV due to all the food commercials, they just make me queasy. 

Saturday, July 22, 2017

So we wait

So I slept OK except for water and bathroom trips last night. 

I got up and we went to Sam's club.  I asked the manager for someone to help me load the cart.  I explained my shoulder was injured.  She found someone to help.  After that, it wasn't hard. 

Jack was a big help loading and unloading the truck. 

When we got to work, the night shift was just leaving, hours late.  They had a lot of drama and I think that's all I can say about it.

Today was basically a "bring in the inventory and park it" kind of day.  I made Ron do all the heavy lifting and my shoulder didn't yell too much. 

We went home.  I took a short nap and woke up with a bad headache.  I took some aspirin. 

We went to the BBQ place.  I wasn't hungry so I ate a really terrible fruit salad.  I took a phenergan and that helped a lot.  A while later I felt good enough to eat some links. 

A big storm system rolled in; lots of thunder and lighting.  Not normally a big deal, but we lost power right after we opened the garage door.  Now we are stuck with the door in the open position.  I could get the door down but I don't know how to put it back in the automatic position.

They said it could take up to 3 hours to get the power back.  Great.

So we wait.

Power out

Our power went out with the garage door open.  Now we can't shut it.


Got a helper to load the cart today, at Sam’s club.☺

Friday, July 21, 2017

I was bad

I would have slept OK last night, but I was really thirsty (lithium side effect).  I kept getting up for drinks of water, and resolved to bring my big water glass to my bedside tonight. 

I got up, took my shower, did my shoulder exercises.  My shoulder didn't like that much.  Our ride was late, to go to Walmart. 

I took a picture of poor, suffering, Biscuit and uploaded it to the blog.  Looks like it worked.  Look at that belly!  He looks pregnant!  He can certainly afford to miss a little dry food. 

We went to Walmart.  I got some stretchy bands for my workouts.  I also got ginger root, Benadryl for Ron (the white and pink one, not the solid pink one), generic 8-hour Tylenol for me, etc. 

I got some mints for me.  I like to have a mint in my mouth when I go to sleep.  It helps with the dry mouth.  I am conditioned now, when I put a mint in my mouth I start to get drowsy. 

I got some pecans to eat at work, instead of the junk food we sell.  I thought that would be a good idea. 

I was pretty hungry.  I paid and checked out.  I made my deposit, boy that's a lot of money for health insurance.  I went to McDonald's.  I ordered a grilled chicken salad.  They asked me what kind I wanted.  I told them the ranch (as it turns out, a good call).  With ranch. 

It took them a couple of minutes to cut up the chicken breast but they got it to me.  It had a nice bed of mixed greens, some grape tomatoes, shredded cheese (but not enough to go totally off plan), a cut up chicken breast, and some bacon.  It wasn't bad.   I did get some salad dressing on my shirt, though.  I hope it comes out. 

I had woken up with a headache, so I hadn't eaten anything all morning.  After I ate this, I took my morning medication. 

As it turns out, the medication kept me up during what was supposed to be my nap. 

Ron had planned to call a cab to take us home, but all the usual guys were not available.  One doesn't even drive a cab anymore. 

About this point, I realized I had forgotten to get my fruit.  I want to cut up limes and lemons, and put them in water, instead of my usual diet soda or drink mix with aspartame.  Ron was annoyed but I ran off and got them.  I got a pound of key limes for $2, and the organic lemons (out of season) cost about $6.  But, like I said, I try to get organic when I can. 

I went back to Ron, who told me "Empty Trunk" was coming to get us.  Huh?  That's what he put the guy into his phone book.  Alright. 

About 20 minutes later, he showed up.  He put the wheelchair away.  Normally I would have helped but my shoulder wouldn't have liked it.  He was happy to do it.  I only had the one bag, plus the bag of fruit, so not a lot of junk.  He did have an empty trunk. 

He had a Russian accent.  He was a very nice guy and told me, when I mentioned using the microwave, that microwaves ruin the food. 

Virtually everything I eat comes out of a microwave, so I didn't argue.  We got home fast and unloaded. 

He took out the wheelchair and gave it to Ron, while I got my stuff.  We went in the house. 

I tried to lay down and take my nap but it didn't work.  I finally got up after about an hour. 

I fixed myself a meal, some sausage links, and then I steamed some kale in the microwave (!).  I ate some Walnuts to finish it off. 

I was bad; I was still hungry, so I ate the last, cream cheese, kolache in the fridge.  Then I took my medication. 

I also took some ginger root to help my shoulder, and put ginger root into all my pills of the week compartments, AM and PM.  I watched some TV and talked to Ron. 

He drank a little but not enough to become obnoxious.  He apparently just found a pile of dirty clothes for me to wash tomorrow. 

So, it's about bedtime.  Tomorrow should go OK.  I am only worried I won't find a helper at Sam's, to help me put my stuff on the cart.  That would be a big help.  If I can get that, I am set. 

That's it for now. 

I cut up part of a key lime and put it into my water.  It isn't bad, I think I can live with this.  I have realized the aspartame messes with my blood sugar, dropping it, whenever I consume it.  Then I get hungry and eat, when I would have been fine if I had just stuck to water with a little lemon maybe. 

Now I'm done. 

Poor Biscuit

Excuse the dirty floor.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Cheat day

I slept OK last night and got up at 5 AM.  I took a shower and fed the cats. 

However, I did not feed the dry food.  Normally I feed dry + wet but today I only fed the wet.  I will only feed the dry at night, 1/3 cup, as a special treat along with their wet food. 

Biscuit is just huge, I have to do something to get his weight down.  I don't want him getting diabetic or sick.  I don't want him so fat he can't clean his butt, that is just a nasty look.  Especially since he has mostly white fur. 

He wasn't happy with it but he's the only one complaining, so I think I'm doing the right thing.  I will be feeding him dinner in about 45 minutes. 

Well, 37 now. 

So, we went to work.  Ron understands he will have to do the heavy lifting for a while and he is OK with that.  He briefly got a little ugly with me but not about that. 

I stocked everything.  I think I hurt my shoulder with an overuse injury.  Pulling out the vending machine trays really sucked.  It was like I was getting stabbed in the shoulder.  No fun at all.  Lifting my arm to fill the coils wasn't a lot of fun either.  But I got it done. 

I did not take a painkiller before work, I wanted to remind myself to take it easy. 

That worked OK.  We got everything stocked.  We took the money out of the machines and I counted it (happily that did not hurt my shoulder).  I put it into $100 packs and put it in the backpack.  We had to pay sales tax today (I did that first thing when we got to work) so we had to have some ca$h for that. 

After work, we went to the bank.  We deposited what we needed for sales tax.  Ron got a little confused during the transaction and lost his temper, but we got through it.  Finally done. 

Paratransit was going to leave us there for another hour. 

Now, paratransit allows you 5 late cancellations, or same day changes (a combination) a month.  More than that, you get penalties and can lose your service for a while.  Ron called to see how many "bad marks" he had.  One. 

He called Lou the cab driver, who was right around the corner.  We cancelled our pickup from the bank and went with Lou instead.  We went to Starbucks. 

Actually, they have a burger place, a Kolache factory, a Subway, and a Starbucks all in one strip mall.  Everyone's happy going there. 

I was pretty hungry and decided to get a burger, no fries.  Yes, I ate the bun.  I decided to call today one of my (no more than once a week) cheat days.  Then we went to Subway and got Ron is beloved "Meatball".  He likes to have onions on it before it goes in the toaster.  I always remind them. 

Then Ron went to Starbucks.  I got a hot chocolate, but no pastry.  See, I am trying to behave on my cheat day. 

I went to the pet store and saw Buddy was still up for adoption, along with some really cute black cats.  I love black cats.  Give me a nice, fat, old black cat to sleep by my head at night (for some reason, Torbie didn't want to sleep with me after I took her to the vet [grin]). 

I looked around a little and got Ron some cat treats.  When I walked past the adoption cats, one of them saw the treats in my hand and started begging.  Sadly, they are locked up behind Plexiglas so I couldn't have given her any.  I thought it was cute she knew treats.  I felt bad for her, her owner died.  One cat whose owner died is 7 years old.  He is going to have a hard time getting adopted.  Poor thing.  At least he is tabby and white, and not black. 

I like black cats but many don't, and many won't adopt a black cat due to stupid superstition.  I remember reading once that black cats were considered lucky in France.  I have a lot of French readers.  Maybe one of you could confirm that for me. 

I went back to Ron.  He wanted to go to the Kolache factory.  So we did.  He got one.  He really liked it.  It was very buttery and flavorful.  I got a soda. 

The manager was "cool" with us waiting.  He understands we are dependent on public transit. 

Ron got a bizarre, unintelligible, phone call about his wheelchair from paratransit dispatch.  He called them back.  The driver who was going to pick us up had a no-room situation.  Could they send someone else, early?  Ron said sure. 

Anthony showed up a little later.  He is very nice, I like him a lot.  We chatted all the way home. 

I took Ron in the house.  I had a little toilet issue after I got home, a good purge, we'll say.  I don't know what caused that but I am eating a lot more vegetables than usual.  It finally finished. 

I let Ron use it and then I went to bed.  I took a couple aspirin and took a pretty good nap.  I woke up and my leg nerve was a little numb from sleeping on my back, but otherwise fine.  It went away when I got up. 

My shoulder feels better when I get up in bed.  When this all first started, when I put my weight on my elbow/shoulder it felt like I was being stabbed.  The pain was literally at a 7 or an 8 on a 1-10 scale.  Now it doesn't hurt unless I reach over to the side while I am leaning on my elbow. 

Ron called our doctor's practice.  Doc is out of town for a couple of weeks.  I hope he has fun. 

In the meantime, my shoulder is pretty bad and Ron needs more Neurontin.  Since our doc never prescribed the Neurontin, they don't want to "refill" something they never administered in the first place.  Understandable, but that means Ron has to go in and see a doctor to prescribe the Neurontin, so he is not in excruciating pain like he was a couple weeks ago.  Ron said he has about 15 left, so he is OK for now. 

However, he does need to get more pronto.  So Ron set it up that we will see the same doctor, one after the other, on Tuesday.  It will be interesting to see how that one works. 

I got up and checked the internet.  I basically let out my shoulder problem to Facebook and one message board.  I can use prayer on this. 

For dinner, I have a couple of kolaches (I told you today was my cheat day).  I can eat those with my medication, I've done that before.  It works. 

Tomorrow we just go to Walmart.  I'm going to get some ginger root, which is anti-inflammatory, and some more 8-hour Tylenol.  Also some more stretchy bands (for exercise) because Biscuit attacked the one the rehab hospital gave Ron, putting some holes in one end.  I guess he thought I was playing with him. 

That's one thing I intend to do everyday, my shoulder exercises.  My shoulder liked just plain shoulder circles, like you do in gym class.  I am always glad to find things that are helping me feel better. 

Anyway, that's it for now.  Tomorrow it's back on the paleo bandwagon.  I think one thing that slowed me down with Atkins before was the all or nothing mindset. 

Yes, a cheat now and then will slow my progress but it will keep me eating healthy 95% of the time.  That can only help. 

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

A trip to the vet

I did not sleep well last night, at least I had a hard time falling asleep, and then a hard time staying asleep.  But once I went to bed again for the second time, I slept OK. 

I got up, took my shower, and got dressed.  I got the heavy duty cat carrier out of the garage and kept a sharp eye on Torbie.  She wasn't hiding, she didn't know what I had planned. 

Chuck pulled up a little after 9 AM so I grabbed a protesting Torbie and shoved her in her box.  She fought me on it, but I got her in there even with the bad shoulder.  I carried her with my left arm as much as possible.  I got to Chuck's truck and put her in the back, and off we went.  She was making a lot of noise. 

She calmed down when we got to the vet.  I think, every time I put her in her carrier, she thinks I am taking her back to the shelter.  I wouldn't do that, she's a good cat.  But old trauma lingers, I guess. 

The tech came in and asked if Torbie is an inside or outside cat.  That answer is a little complicated, we have a catio.  I had to explain it is a big cage, outside, for the cats to play. 

The vet came in and was thrilled to hear about the catio, and wanted photos. 
I showed her one and she was really impressed, said all cat lovers need to do this.  I agree, if you can, build a catio for your cat.  We control access via a pet door mounted into our sliding glass door.  We can still go in and out, the cats can go outside whenever they want, and nothing unwanted can get into the house. 

Like Ron said "The cat food started lasting a lot longer once we did the catio" (before, we just had a cat door). 

The vet continued her exam.  Torbie was still 12.5 pounds, impressive with all the treats Ron's been distributing lately.  She would like to see Torbie lose another pound or so.  She did her exam, everything seemed to be normal. 

I told the vet tech the story of how Torbie chose me on adoption day, getting into my lap the minute I sat down and refusing to leave.  She is such a sweetie (Torbie). 

The vet decided to cut Torbie's nails (our request, she has been snagging them a lot lately) before doing the shots.  Torbie struggled like she was being raped, letting out pathetic little mews as she battled the vet and her tech. 

I can only imagine how she fought getting her blood drawn, last month.  The vet got them all trimmed to a nice short length.  I was very pleased. 

About this time I brought up the Icy Hot spray and the cats' odd reactions.  She read the label and said it has propylene glycol, which is bad for cats, and not to use it on myself if they were going to lick it.  I said that was fine, the salonpas worked better anyway. 

We talked about Biscuit's weight gain, and she said to cut back on his dry food.  I'll do that, he doesn't really care what he eats as long as he gets it twice a day. 

The vet gave Torbie her shots, which went well.  When the vet brought the carrier back to the table top, with the door open, Torbie ran right in.  It was cute. 

Then pick Torbie up with the left arm, and go pay.  It wasn't too bad, considering she is good for a whole year now.  Chuck waited for us, and took me back home.  I paid him, of course. 

He told me all about his adopted dog and how much fun they're having.  Good.   I think, if possible, everyone should have a pet.  Now, major depressives and some other ailments may have trouble taking care of a pet, but if you can, you should, in my opinion. 

I always like those stories of people going to the shelter and asking for the least adoptable pet, which turns out to be the best pet.  We came home. 

I liberated Torbie and gave her some treats.  I put the carrier back in the garage.  I caught Baby Girl sniffing Torbie with an interested expression "Oh, you've been to the vet".  We had a trip to Walmart, later, so I took a nap. 

I didn't have Torbie this time, not surprising, really.  Biscuit ran by but didn't stay. 

I had a pretty good nap and got up.  My shoulder is teaching me to get up when the alarm goes off, because it is too painful to lie back down and get up again, repeatedly. 

My shoulder is getting better, it's just taking a while. 

We got up and went to Walmart.  Our pickup was late, and our ride home was early, so I only had half an hour.  I bought some generic 8 hour Tylenol, some kale, and other food.  I bought some more tampons because I will need them eventually.  The $1 off coupon was just a bonus. 

I finished up and checked out in about 20 minutes.  I found Ron and asked if he wanted anything.  He asked me to check and see if his Gabepentin had come into the pharmacy.  I checked, no.

He said he wanted some chicken strips from the deli so I got those for him.  He happily ate them while we waited. 

Our ride home was the same driver who dropped us, and he was still running late.  We waited inside, out of the heat.  We chatted with another paratransit client who was also waiting. 

When we got home, Ron said he wanted me to trim his beard.  I did that. Then he wanted to weed whack the catio.  I told him I couldn't do it with my shoulder and he decided to do it himself.  He sat in his wheelchair, wearing a pair of shorts, no shirt, weedwhacking the entire enclosure.  It looked pretty good when he finished.  I guess we are lucky we didn't have any wasps around. 

He came in and redid the cord to the weedwhacker, and had me put it away.  I did that. 

I ate my dinner, sausage, kale with olive oil, and some grapes.  Paleo is higher carb than low carb but it is still pretty low carb overall.  Especially since paleo doesn't eat dairy. 

I am keeping an eye on my weight, we will see where I end up. 

I plan to go to bed early, if I can.  I found a couple of balls out in the backyard, the #6 kids are getting restless and were playing outside the other night.  They actually kicked one ball on top of the catio.  I had a lot of fun getting that one down, let me tell you.  Hopefully everyone will be quiet tonight and let me sleep. 

Ron just told me our pickup time.  I need to get up at 4 AM.  Yes, I am going to bed early. 

I almost forgot, our doctor's office called while Ron was weed-whacking.  Doc is out of town.  Great.  I will wait until he gets back to get my shoulder checked out.  Hopefully Ron can schedule back-to-back appointments and get his Gabapentin at the same time. 

I don't want him running out.  He is doing great right now. 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The fattest cat I've owned

I slept pretty well last night, didn't wake up as much, and had what I would call a good quality of sleep.  I woke up around 9. 

I got up, took my shower and did my God Time, and fed the cats.  Torbie slept next to my head last night and had a nightmare.  I talked her out of it, softly, as she moaned.  Poor thing. 

I had to wonder if it was a nightmare about being dumped at the shelter, or actually her time in the shelter.  The shelter is pretty well set up for cats "Catified" if you watch Jackson Galaxy, and they have loving attendants, but who's to say what happens at night when the humans go home? 

Biscuit slept on my legs but wasn't bothered by Torbie. 

Tomorrow I take Torbie in for her shots.  She won't be happy with me for a while but I don't want an unvaccinated cat.  I also want to ask about the Icy Hot Spray.  This stuff:
I first noticed it with Torbie.  I sprayed it on my shoulder (big surprise) and some of it ran down my back.  I mopped it up with an old rag and left the rag in my chair. 

Torbie went crazy for it.  She began biting it, nursing, and slobbering all over it until it was soaked.  I thought it was just Torbie. 

Now, if it is safe maybe I can spray some on a cat toy for them, but I need to talk to the vet first. 

Last night I gave my shoulder a shot (although I have to say I think the salonpas patches work better) and Biscuit went nuts biting me, slobbering, and purring.  OK.  It's all cats, at least in my household, going nuts for the stuff.  And I have two containers. 

I think I will be giving them away to people who don't have cats. 

Anyway, I did my usual morning routine and had a good time.  Shower, God Time. I watched a little TV, Supernatural. 

I wonder if people are actually dumb enough to try to summon demons.  That's a game you never want to play. 

A good book on the subject, although fiction, is "This Present Darkness" by Frank Perretti.  It's very well done and illustrates the spiritual realm pretty clearly. 

Then I took a nap.  I had Torbie and Biscuit again.  That's been one nice thing about my shoulder, since I can only really sleep on my back the cats have gotten a lot more cuddly. 

My shoulder felt better today, mainly because I didn't abuse it yesterday at work.  Ron will just have to do more for a change.  I have plenty of 8 hour Tylenol and I plan to buy more.  I still plan to see my doctor on Friday, I just want to take care of Torbie first. 

It doesn't hurt, usually, at rest.  It only hurts when I extend it, like trying to pick something up off the floor, or picking something up at work. 

Biscuit keeps sticking his head in my lap to remind me he's hungry, but I don't plan to feed him for another hour.  He is being gentle, but very purrsistent.  I wish I knew if I could spray some Icy Hot on the squeaky mouse for him and really give him some fun.  There he is again.  He's purring very loudly. 

If you were just looking at his face and paws, you would think "poor thing, he's starving".  But as I pull back and take a longer view, I see a 16# belly hanging down to rival a pregnant queen's, I have to say he can afford to skip a meal.  He is, the fattest cat I have owned.  I thought Bubba was big and he was only 14#.  I don't know how many kilos, between 6 and 7. 

I find it funny that a pregnant cat is a queen, and a pregnant dog is a bitch.  Doesn't say much about dogs. 

I am happy that dogs make other people happy.  I don't want one for myself, but I am glad your dog makes you happy. 

I find the "bipetual" houses the most interesting, with the cat and a dog.  I always assume the cat is the boss in that house.  Usually, I am told I am right. 

So I had a pretty good nap for an hour and a half or so, and then the yard guy came by #6 and did his thing.  I guess the whole trailer-blocking-my-driveway was just them arranging terms and times, not an actual service call, which happened today.  I assume they blocked my driveway again, but I didn't look. 

I finally got up and watched some Hoarders.  I was pretty hungry.  I heated up one of my precooked hamburgers, put it on a nice plate, and set up Styrofoam foam bowls with veggies and dip.  I used sliced carrots, and sugar snap peas, veggies I love.  Generally, I think people have some vegetable they enjoy, they just don't think to eat it.  I also like kale, if I can find some I will get it tomorrow when we go to Walmart. 

I still felt a little "hole" after eating so I ate a handful of walnuts.  My medication was happy with the meal so I didn't have any sickness or nausea. 

Generally I have learned lithium needs to be taken with fat and protein.  I was a little leery about the veggies but I ate enough fat and protein to "cover" the pills.  I don't ever really eat to desire anymore, it is all about having to eat to take my medication and what can I eat to make sure I don't vomit it up again?    That's nearly 11 years now, but it's a lot better than this game I used to play back in 2006, before my diagnosis. 

See, all my life I was told I wasn't bipolar, I was just dealing with the trauma of having a Bad Mommy.  Bad Mommy was responsible for everything, they said.  I would just get depressed, now and again. 

More like get suicidal, now and then.  I used to play a game: if I wanted to kill myself, at that second, what could I use?  Right now, sitting at the computer, I would say the electrical outlet in the lamp (where the bulb screws), and the electrical cords around my computer.  Plenty of knives in the kitchen.  You get the idea.  It was a horrible "game" but I couldn't stop playing.  I was tortured. 

So I have to eat on a schedule, and I have to eat certain foods.  It could be a lot worse. 

I tried to take it easy and pamper my shoulder today.  I didn't take out the garbage yet and I didn't really make a concerted effort to "dehoard" the place (another visit from Biscuit, this time with a piteous meow).  That can wait.  I did pick up obvious trash. 

I found Ron's book of physical therapy exercises and did the shoulder ones.  They gave us an elastic band to use to do them.  So I did that, and will do that every day for a while, I think 10 repetitions for the first (more Biscuit) week, and 20 for the second, ought to be good.  My shoulder did feel happier after doing them.  I haven't taken a painkiller since my old one wore off at 4.  I plan to wait, if possible, until bedtime (7-8, probably take it at 7 and go to bed at 7:30) so it can last all night. 

I am hoping my doctor gives me naproxen.  It really worked well for me with my bad knee (better now), horrible menstrual cramps, and even post surgery pain from my ovarian cyst removal.   I am very frightened of narcotics. 

I was given Vicodin because they had to delay my ovarian cyst removal surgery, and it was bleeding.  It hurt like hell.  I went, in a 2 week period, from taking one half tablet as directed to taking 2 tablets as directed (instructions said take one half to two tablets every x hours, as needed).  That was enough to scare me.  I liked how it turned off my emotions.  I liked that a lot.  Too much.  So I poured all of them out after my surgery and never regretted it. 

Sometimes I idly wonder if I am fertile.  The doctor told me they did a lot of cutting during the operation.  I don't care if I'm not fertile, I'm the one who told him to take the whole ovary if he had to.  But he was a fertility specialist and found the thought abhorrent. 

But I'm almost 43, those eggs are fried. 

Biscuit has finally left me alone.  Time to feed him.  I need to talk to the vet about portions.  Obviously Biscuit is getting too much.  I am feeding 6 ounces wet and 6 ounces dry every day.  For all of them.  Maybe I need to cut it back some more, but the girls have lost weight and look good at this amount. 

Maybe I need to talk to Ron about how many treats he is feeding.  He could be feeding a lot of treats I don't know about. 

Monday, July 17, 2017

"I don't think he's drunk enough to try goat"

Ron can be very ugly when he's drinking. 

He's cursing me out right now, I'll explain "why" he thinks he needs to do this in a minute.  But right now it is one curse word and derogatory phrase after another. 

I didn't sleep very well last night, my shoulder was bothering me pretty bad.  It is very hard to find a comfortable sleeping position.  When I lay on my back, the muscles spasm until it calms down.  Once it has calmed down I can fall asleep and sleep OK (I am taking 8-hour Tylenol for pain).  Sleeping on my side is impossible. 

I got up a couple times, which was a problem, because everytime I laid back down my shoulder would yell at me for a while.  So I tried to combine drink of water/bathroom run as much as possible.  At any rate I slept well enough, and had some energy for today. 

I got up and did my usual morning routine.  I am still eating protein bars in the morning just for lack of something simpler.  I also have a Diet Mountain Dew, not "paleo" by any means but I am trying to taper. 

We went to work.  Our ride was about half an hour late.  It's a good thing I didn't actually have to be at work by our appointment time.  If I had to rely on paratransit to get me to work on time, I'd be fired.  They can be very unreliable. 

Too many people on the lifeboat.  In my opinion, a lot of people riding paratransit shouldn't be.  They can walk to the bus stop on their own.  I have actually seen one client walk over a mile, dragging a heavy cart, one day.  Hopefully they are weeding people out as much as possible, because the system can only support so many people. 

Anyway, we got to work OK and I got set up.  I had to do snacks, they looked pretty bad.  I got the cart and loaded it up with all my merchandise.  I pretty much brought "everything" chip related out on the cart to stock.  I got that done, I did some candy bars.  I did cookies.  I did not have time to do pastry and I feel bad about that but I did what I could in the time I had. 

I didn't move any cases of drinks.  I had Ron do that.  He was (at that point and time in the day) supportive and understanding.  He was challenged at times by some of the exertion but he did OK.  We got everything stocked, and then replaced what had been stocked, in the fridge, so we have one case of every drink, cold and ready to go. 

I got sandwiches.  He is unhappy they added more work to his route, and has modified his "I can be there by" time by half an hour.  Ron wasn't happy to hear that. 

I came in and stocked the sandwiches.  I chatted a little with the other vendors.  One of them said I need to get painkillers (prescription) and muscle relaxers.  I plan to see my doctor later this week so hopefully - never mind, I know God will guide him on what I need to get better.  I am also considering getting a sling so I don't use the arm any more than I have to. 

About this time Ron went off on me for something I forget, screaming curses at me and generally being ugly.  It is so unprofessional to act like that. 

Pretty soon we were done.  I pushed Ron outside.  Again, they were late, significantly so, which left us baking like turnips out in the summer heat and sun.  Ron hid under a tree.  I sat on the bench where
the driver would be able to see me.  I was frankly happy to be away from Mr. Ugly. 

We went home.  I took more 8-hour Tylenol and laid down for a nap.  Biscuit and Torbie joined me.  Biscuit lying between my legs like I'd birthed him, Torbie by my head. 

Usually, when my alarm goes off, I get up, hit the snooze a few times, roll over and go back to sleep.  But if I get up to turn off the alarm it aggravates my shoulder and makes it impossible to lie down and relax, again.  I got up. 

While I'd been "sleeping", Ron decided to get very drunk and pass out in his wheelchair, in the hall.  Happily he was done with the abusive jerk portion of the program. 

He had a hard time getting up, when his alarm went off.  He's the one who basically demanded to go to the pupusa place again today, so he could get a bean and cheese burrito.  I reminded him of that when he complained. 

He finally got up and dressed.  He had a wine stain on his shirt.  I doubt that will come out but we will see on laundry day.  I just bought that shirt. 

Our ride was late, again, but not too bad.  He said he'd had to go around an accident on the freeway. 

We got to the pupusa place and there was a note in Spanish, on the door.  Translated "Sorry, no electrical.  Closed,  Have a nice day". 

Well, shit.  Ron handled it pretty well, probably because he was, I think, still pretty drunk.  I looked at the food places in the strip mall: the bad BBQ place, the closed pupusa place, and a Caribbean place.  Everytime we have gone to the strip mall, the Caribbean place has always seemed to be busy, so I figured why not take a chance?  We didn't really have a choice. 

So we went.  They only had about 5 things on the menu, curry, jerk chicken, curried goat, and some other things I forget.  I was a little leery about trying them.  I saw something off to the side.  They were bread "pouches" surrounding some sort of filling.  I asked what they were.  "Beef Patties". 

I got 2 of them, once she assured me they were not "hot" spicy.  When I ate them, they were very filling and had an interesting, mild, flavor. 

Ron was curious about the curried goat, but decided against it in favor of the jerk chicken.  The owner asked him why he didn't want the goat, and I said "I don't think he's drunk enough to try goat".  I got Ron a ginger beer (good for the digestion) and myself two cans of Diet Coke. 

We sat down.  I ate most of my beef patties and gave Ron the remaining 25% of one patty I hadn't been able to finish.  He liked it too.  He enjoyed the jerk chicken, and the plaintains, but didn't like the rice.  He said it had a strange spice in it. 

Well, Ron, that's kind of the point when you're eating ethnic food: strange spices.  I suggested he ask for "no rice" next time.  He agreed. 

We left and waited outside the pupusa place.  We had set our pickup for there so we couldn't change it. 

The waitress was very nice, brought us each a diet Coke and brought me a chair.  I thought that was very sweet.  Ron gave her some money. 

He was not clear on who the money was for, she came out and said thank you. 

To my understanding, you just gave her a nice tip, and I'm sure she thinks that too. 

The owner came out and explained they had a small fire and would be out of order for a couple days.  Ouch. 

Our ride came and we left.  One of the other clients in the vehicle, who didn't speak good English, accused Ron of being drunk.  He probably still was. 

What could I say to that?  I just kept talking to the driver. 

We got home and found #6's yard guy had parked his trailer, completely blocking our driveway.  I was not happy I had to push Ron out of the street and all the way up the driveway.  Ron was complaining and cussing the guy out, I said don't do that, because he wants us to get upset.  Us getting upset is his payoff.  Just ignore it all and he doesn't get his prize. 

When we got in the house, Ron said he was going to ask the owner of the pupusa place if she got "her money" the next time we went, and make sure the waitress had given it to the boss. 

To my logic, he gave the money to the waitress.  I don't recall him saying anything to her about giving the money to the boss.  I said that and I also said it would be unfair to get the waitress into trouble over the "tip".  "The money went where it needed to go" I told him "The woman lives on tips and she hasn't gotten any all day". 

That's when he went off on me for "giving unwanted advice" and "Trying to control him".  No, I'm trying to make sure a really sweet girl does not get fired because Ron was a bad communicator.   Not fair.  Not cool. 

If I have to, I will give Ron the money myself just to make sure he doesn't get this girl fired.  He didn't say "Give this to your boss".  He said "I want you to have this".  Not fair.  She probably really needs that money and how cruel is it to come along after the fact and say "That was for your boss". 

I am pretty upset about this. 

Ugh.  I don't think those Jamaican beef patties are settling very well.  I keep burping spices.  At least they got along with my medication, and didn't interact in any way. 

Ron "forgot" to call in my trip to Walmart tomorrow so I will have to pay for a ride or go on Wednesday after we, I mean I, take Torbie to the vet. 

My shoulder is yelling at me so I'm going to cut it short. 

Have a good one. 

Sunday, July 16, 2017

A lot about fruits, vegetables, and gardening

I slept pretty well last night, considering.  I woke up several times but I felt OK overall.  Torbie and Biscuit slept with me.  That was nice. 

I feel so naked when I sleep alone these days.  Normally, I toss and turn but my shoulder doesn't like that.  So I sleep on my back for now, tip a little to one side or another, but not too far.  The cats love it. 

I got up late for me, 9:44 AM.  I took a shower and didn't do my God Time.  Shame on me.  But I laid down for a little while with Biscuit.  Actually, I laid down by myself, but I heard him come in from the catio (the cat door is in my bedroom).  I made sad noises at him, sad little meows, and he got into bed with me and laid down in his spot, between my legs, as if I'd just birthed him. 

I would hate to deliver Biscuit, he is 16 pounds. 

At any rate we had a nice rest, even if I didn't sleep.  I have been using Salonpas pain patches on my shoulder today with pretty good results.  That's in addition to the over the counter pain relievers.  I am trying to minimize the use of my shoulder, too, so I don't strain it any more. 

It is getting better, but it's a slow process because I have to keep using it at work, but, like I said, I plan to have Ron do a lot more lifting for the duration. 

Anyways, I did my best to baby my shoulder today.  We went out to the pupusa place.  They seem to have one on every corner now.  It was good, as always, but not on the caveman diet I am attempting to follow. 

I think I am going to have a hard time with Ron on this one, because his big social activity is eating out, and I'm going to be limited where I can eat.  He's going to have some tantrums over this. 

 But my health is a lot more important, and I am sure I can find ways to make this work.  It's going to be challenging, though. 

Our pickup came early, the driver was a black man with dreadlocks.  I showed him my pupusa, he said it looked good, and then we told him our pickup wasn't for another 20 minutes.  He left and drove away. 

I really hoped that was not the last we would see of paratransit, for the day.  Happily it wasn't.  I had thought of buying a pupusa for the driver, and I wish I had, because the next one, a Filipino guy, seemed very interested.  He said he would come back.  We had a straight trip home. 

I cleaned the litterboxes and had a little snack, some of my organic grapes.  They aren't as large as conventionally grown ones but they are way better. 

Years ago, in California, I was a member of an organic foods co-op.  They had me fill out an extensive survey on what fruits and vegetables I enjoyed, and then they sent me a box every 2 weeks.  All organic, fresh, and really good.  It was a mixture of fruits and vegetables. 

Ron didn't buy the organic eating arguments.  Pesticides and conventional fertilizers are damaging to the environment and your health.  He didn't care about that.  I told him it tasted better. 

So we did an experiment one summer.  I had been "given" a huge cluster of organic red grapes.  I bought a similar cluster of conventional grapes.  I put them on different colored plates, left them on the table, and went shopping.  Ron ate the organic grapes down to the stem.  There wasn't one grape left on the cluster of probably 2 pounds. 

He had barely touched the conventional grapes.  So, he was convinced, organic food tastes better.  That's why I always try to get it when I can.  It is better for the environment, better for the people handling the food and living near the fields, and better for taste!  Better for my health, eating it. 

One time we used some Diazanon, a pesticide, when we had an ant problem near our studio apartment.  Actually, we were living in a badly converted garage.  We read the label, which was full of dire warnings.  I decided not to pour it into anything we used for food, instead we would measure it by pouring it into a used Styrofoam cup. 

It ate the cup.  Nasty stuff. 

I don't use chemicals in my yard, except for fire ant bait.  I have a lot of birds as a result. 

I wish it were possible to have the membership to an organic foods coop like I did before, but the heat is death to fresh fruits and vegetables.  The only way it would work is if they had a central pickup location where I could go and pick up my food, and bring it home. 

But I don't think Ron would be willing to do all that just for vegetables.  So I'll get organic stuff when I can, at my usual places, and try to make that work. 

I did love growing my own vegetables, they were organic, and I could pick them whenever I wanted.  It was great, with the stuff like Kale and Collards, I could literally go pick some leaves off the bottom of the plant whenever I wanted something green. 

However: 1.  Energy issues.  I just don't have the energy.  and 2.  My yard guy mows and whacks everything growing in my yard, except the jasmine.  That is the only thing he leaves alone.  Everything else I had growing in the yard got mowed or whacked.  That's OK, I understand we have language issues, but I wouldn't put anything in the ground as a result. 

My shoulder is getting cranky.  I think computer use is a factor in my problem.  I'm going to go now. 

Have a good one! 

Saturday, July 15, 2017

That's one way to do it

Yesterday was a pretty long day.  We went to Sam's Club, went to work, went to the bank, and went home.  I didn't get home until after 4. 

It started out OK.  Ron wanted 2 cases of water at Sam's Club, so I got that.  I was out of Hershey Almond so I got a box of that, too.  We had a pretty good wait on our ride, got loaded up OK, and went to work. 

My shoulder was VERY unhappy manipulating those cases of water.  When we got to work I put them on a cart and told Ron he would have to put them in the fridge.  I left the cart, the one I use for snacks, next to the fridge. 

To me, it was understood Ron would make this a priority, put the water away, and give me back my cart.  Ron decided to stock canned Coke instead. 

I told him I needed the cart to stock my snacks, could I please get it back?  He brought it back with the water still on it. 

I admit I got a little frustrated.  I asked him why he hadn't put the waters into the fridge.  He told me I had asked for the cart, but I hadn't asked for an empty cart. 

This is where I made myself remember what Ron looked like after his accident, with his head split open in two places, huge scab where his forehead used to be, comatose, tubes all over, etc.  Ron has suffered brain damage.  He really didn't understand I wanted an empty cart.  To him, it was "logical" to bring me a loaded cart. 

By this time I had already stocked snacks.  Ron cursed me out and had a tantrum, but eventually put the water away.  God knows my shoulder really hates handling bottled water, so I am going to avoid handling it for the duration. 

We finished up our work and took the money out of the vending machines.  We went to the bank and counted the money (we didn't have time to count it in the stockroom, at work), and made our deposit.  I got paid and we got some fast food on the way home. 

I went to bed early and got up at 5 AM today. 

I am sleeping OK if I take an 8-hour Tylenol before I go to bed, but I am having some anxiety lying in bed, trying to find a comfortable position, attempting to relax enough to fall asleep.  I actually wondered if I was getting manic, or if that decaf soda I drank was really an energy drink in disguise.  But God enabled me to fall asleep and I did. 

I got up this morning and took my shower, got dressed, did my morning routine.  I did do something different this morning.  I brought an insulated tote bag and some solid ice packs. 

Yesterday, while at Sam's, I scoped out their frozen meats.  They had a chicken breast, and a hamburger patty that were already cooked.  They were both reasonable sizes that would fit in my freezer.  I decided to buy them and start eating them as part of my caveman diet. 

Happily they also fit easily into the tote bag, after I paid for them. 

Anyway, we got to Sam's and I bought my stuff (chicken and beef, and also 3 # of organic red grapes because they look delicious and fruit is on my diet), along with all the work stuff.  I paid for everything (keeping my stuff on a separate tab and paying tax for it) and got Ron his hot dog. 

When we go to Sam's, Ron wants a hot dog.  It is easy enough to purchase and it makes him happy.  So I got it for him, he paid for it. 

Jack came a little late but that was OK.  It is his birthday weekend.  We gave him a cash gift in addition to what we normally pay him.  He really liked it.  Good.  I want to make him feel special. 

He helped me unload (as he always does), but I really appreciated it today because of my shoulder!  We got everything in the building and I left the cart with the waters on it, over by the fridge again.   I didn't pay attention but Ron got around to it eventually and brought it to me with no water aboard. 

I put my snacks away (today was basically a buy-it-and-park-it day), and put out some of my new cookies.  Circus animal.  I am not impressed because they are very small portions in the package.  I hope the customers don't get too angry. 

I heard a lot of comments about my grapes, which I had set up next to Ron's "home" wheelchair.  See, Ron has a 17 inch wide, "transport" wheelchair he uses at home and pretty much everywhere but work.  It looks like this:
Except he took off the leg rests. 

His work wheelchair looks like a standard wheelchair, except he took off the arms.  He can carry wide things (like a case of water) in his lap and roll around stocking.  So he keeps that wheelchair at work and uses it only there. 

When he's working, he parks the other chair and leaves it parked at a table.  I put my insulated tote bag and the grapes over there to keep them out of the way and indicate "These are Ron's".  They still kept pestering me about them, though.  I thought it was funny. 

Next time I will hide any fruit I buy in a plastic bag so people can't see it. 

It didn't take us long to finish.  Once we did we put everything up and went outside.  I was carrying my grapes, Ron had left the tote bag on the back of his wheelchair. 

Aaaand, the ride was half an hour late.  I worried about the meat thawing, or the grapes spoiling.  I had also bought a large bag of Walnuts but I wasn't worried about them. 

The driver and I had an interesting discussion.  We were talking about food and he wanted to know where the cut of meat used as a brisket, came from on the cow.  I told him I didn't know.  I don't.  I just looked it up.  It comes from the lower chest of the cow, right above the ribs. 

Good to know. 

The German method sounds good, braise it in dark beer with root vegetables and herbs. 

We got home.  My shoulder was pretty unhappy with my exertions, so I took some 8-hour Tylenol and laid down for a nap.  Biscuit joined me and laid on my legs.  He was very sweet and cute.  I am blessed to know him. 

I could hear thunderstorms rolling in as I lay in bed.  I still wanted to go out for BBQ, though.  When I got up it was raining.  Ron was very unhappy, he got pretty drenched loading onto the paratransit van.  With the large, "white" vans, the lift comes off the side of the vehicle, and lowers to the ground.  The wheelchair passenger rolls into the lift.  The lift slowly raises up until it is level with the floor of the vehicle.  Then the passenger rolls off the lift onto the vehicle.  The driver closes the lift and shuts the doors.  By that time, Ron was soaked. 

She didn't run the air conditioner, which would have frozen us.  We were all 3 pretty soaked. 

We had another pickup, also another wheelchair client.  This lady had wrapped her head in a blanket so she wouldn't get wet.  Her son held a large piece of wood over his mother's head as well.  That's one way to do it. 

After that, we had a straight trip to the BBQ place.  I decided to get a half pound of links and a slice of pie, with a diet soda.  Not exactly caveman diet but better than the usual plate of carbs I generally order.  The manager is still teasing Ron about his decision to have a bottle of beer along with a plate of pancakes, a few weeks ago. 

Ron had a chopped beef sandwich and a diet soda. 

We ate our food, it was very good.  It started raining again. 

I took my pills.  Gotta do that. 

Our ride home was only a little late.  She was taking a client to his job at the nearby Walmart.  Then we had a straight trip home.  I was happy I got the front seat after the other client left.  I really hate those backseat seatbelts.  They are like boa constrictors. 

We got home and I called my parents.  They had made it pretty clear they expected a phone call.  So I did.  We chatted about various things and I tried not to talk too much about the cats when Dad got on the line.  I know he hates cats. 

I find it funny that someone who has such a loathing for cats fathered someone who loves them so much. 

Torbie is laying on my foot right now as I type.  She is such a sweetie.  I feel sorry for the people who had her first, and gave her up.  They must miss her every day.  I would. 

Once I finish this I will check my online forums and then go to bed.  I'm pretty exhausted. 

We have tomorrow off.  I plan to take it easy and start eating my "new" diet. 

I still haven't figured out how I'm going to phase out aspartame. 

Friday, July 14, 2017

A good start

Waiting at Sam's club for our ride.  I slept pretty good last night even though I had a nightmare.  It was nice to wake up and find Torbie by my head.  I also had Biscuit this morning, too.

They're a good start to my day.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

No Big Macs!

I woke up pretty early today.  My shoulder is still bothering me but I am sleeping better on it.  It doesn't hurt as much when I get up or roll over in bed, even if it's still uncomfortable to sleep on my side.  I can just as well sleep on my back, and Torbie has been sleeping next to my pillow lately. 

I also had Biscuit in the early morning hours.  He slept on my legs as if he owned me, and he does.  He's such a sweet boy, he's really becoming an awesome cat. 

On the one hand, I want to commend his first family.  They obviously loved him and socialized him very well.  He is a sweet, loving, and gentle cat.  He is friendly with us (terrified of strangers, but that goes to after he got dumped), and overall a good cat.   

But he is a puker (Bubba was, too) and I am certain that is what got him dumped in the woods, he got sick on the wrong thing and they dumped him out like an old shoe.  Gravy had an abscess on his tail, so I think that's why he got dumped. 

I often wonder what happened to the other cats in their litter, or whether it was just the two of them. 

On the other hand, how dare they take a helpless, loving, gentle, domesticated little animal and dump him in the woods?  With coyotes and possums and God only knows what else?  It's a miracle he didn't get eaten, starve, or fall in the bayou and drown.  What a horrible way to "get rid of" an animal.  They couldn't take them to the shelter?  Or find another home for them themselves? 

I tend to stick with the first view, these days, being glad he was well socialized and groomed to be a house pet.  He's a very good boy and I love him a lot. 

I got up, brushed my teeth, and fed the cats.  The hierarchy is interesting: first we have Baby Girl, always first to eat, all the other cats defer to her; then Biscuit, everyone's favorite, he is always second at bat, or the food bowl.  Lastly we have Torbie.  She gets all the cuddles, but is always last to eat. 

There's plenty to go around, though.  I make sure of that.  It is a balance between making sure everyone has enough to eat and making sure they stay slim. 

So, I fed "Biscuit", but Baby Girl had the actual first bite.  Biscuit waited patiently for her to finish, "cover" the food, and move on before he stepped up to eat. 

Then I took my shower and did my God Time.  Biscuit did not stick his head in the shower today, or sleep on the tub mat, but I still love him anyway.  It's so cute when he gets in the shower with me.  He doesn't get wet, the shower head is low flow and doesn't go that far, but it's so much fun to have him meowing at me while I wash my hair. 

It makes bathtime a lot more fun. 

I did my God Time, prayed for everyone, including you.  I got dressed and ready to go. 

We were going to Walmart today, I needed cat litter, among other things.  Our ride was a little late but it wasn't bad.  I had about an hour to shop. 

I found a kiddie cart and stuffed Ron, and the wheelchair, into it.  Unfortunately Ron decided he wanted 4 large bags of popcorn, which occupied most of the free space in the cart.  We had made the cardinal mistake of shopping while hungry. 

For a change, we got some vegetables.  We never eat vegetables.  I got baby carrots (and Vidalia onion dressing/dip) for Ron, and carrot slices and sugar snap peas for myself.  I got some vinaigrette.  I tried to find something olive-oil based but it was all soybean oil.  However, I do have plain, real, olive oil at the house.  I could put a little oil in a bowl, add some spices, and dip it that way. 

I tried, in vain, to find some precooked ready to eat plain meats.  I know they have them at Sam's Club so I will have to wait and get them there.  I want something like an already cooked hamburger, I can heat up in a microwave, or an already cooked piece of chicken that I just need to warm.  I don't want raw foods that have to be cooked because that means dishes and more work.  I just want something simple. 

Ron wants to go to Sam's tomorrow, and we will be there a while, so I will look there. 

I got everything on my list (no cat food for a change, but I did get more plates), and separated the stuff into his and hers.  I paid for mine, and Ron paid for his.  Then we went to McDonald's. 

Ron got a Big Mac.  I couldn't help but think we had done this before?  He enjoyed eating it.  I had a couple of double cheeseburgers with just ketchup.  I enjoyed them, they were cheap and good.  I got a fountain drink (Diet Dr Pepper) because the 20 ounce soda display only had the Dr Pepper 10's, and I hate those. 

Someone's kid decided to climb on our kiddie cart while we were eating.  She was not disciplined or scolded in any way.  I told her "That's our cart" and she stared at me blankly.  I realized she didn't speak English.  I yelled "Get off my cart!" as she started going through our stuff and her mother looked over, saw what was going on, and yelled at her.  Ron said "That was rude" and I said "Very rude" well within earshot of the mother, who clearly spoke good English. 

She left, and so did we.  We had a little bit of a wait on the ride.  A paratransit cab came.  He was dropping off only.  Another paratransit cab came.  She already had a very large client in the front seat.  That was our ride.  She took one look at our stuff (about 4 bags, plus the wheelchair) and started freaking out that she couldn't put it in the back seat because I had to sit there.  I told her "It can fit in the back."  She was practically having vapors, and told me the other client had "a large item" in the back. 

I had her open up the back compartment.  The other thing was a folding grocery cart, the kind you see women using when they don't have a car and ride the bus.  It was folded against the side wall, and took up very little room. 

I put the folded wheelchair in the back and braced it with the cat litter, then I stacked my bags, one on top of the other, two deep, against the far back wall of the compartment, leaving plenty of room for more stuff.  The driver just gaped at me. 

I walked away and got into the cab.  She closed it up.  Since we were picking up a fourth client, I had Ron sit in the middle.  The other client came out.  She also had a rolling grocery cart, but I had left plenty of room for it. 

Ron started complaining he had to use the toilet.  The Big Mac had run through him pretty quickly.  Well, it wasn't a straight trip.  It ended up with Ron cursing me out because I told him to stop verbally abusing the driver. 

Eventually we got home without Ron soiling himself.  Hopefully it is now seared in his head "No Big Macs!"  Any kind of heavy, greasy, food just runs right through him and causes a lot of unnecessary drama.  If you know eating a food is going to stimulate your bowels, then eat it at home only. 

Ugh, I get frustrated with him.  Now I know "No Big Macs".  I'm also going to make sure he eats at home before he goes to Walmart. 

I put away the vegetables and took a nap.  I slept pretty well considering.  I woke up and ran some laundry.  Ron's clothes were so filthy I had to run it on the "soak" cycle first and then the wash cycle.  I also used my Tide.  I have a couple different types of detergent, which I use depending on the load and the type of stains. 

I ran it in the dryer, halfway (until it is about halfway dry),and will finish it tomorrow morning.  I have a lot of tshirts for Ron, some pants, and some of my clothes in the load.  My dryer has a very large capacity so it can hold 2 loads (the one I did last night, and today's). 

I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner and took my pills.  They settled in well, good.  Happily I did not have to "do up" another 2 weeks of pills.  I found a week's worth, already done up, just waiting to be taken.  I'm not sure how that happened but I'll take it. 

Oh, I forgot to mention.  My phone rang during lunch.  It was my Dad and my Stepmom. 

They never call me unless there is a disaster of some sort.  They were "just worried about" me since "They hadn't heard from me in a while". 

Well, I tried to call them the first weekend they had their visitor (my primary abuser's son, who is apparently a very nice kid, but he bears a creepy resemblance to my abuser).  No answer.  Fine.  All that week I saw on Facebook, they are running around and very busy.  I skipped that weekend. 

Last week I was sick and I was certain they didn't want to hear about my digestive ailments.  So I skipped it. 

I mean, I've been posting on Facebook.  They can always come here (although my stepmother basically said it is "too raw"). 

Anyway, they called.  I told them things were OK.  What else could I say with Ron sitting right there and 10 other people within earshot?  And things have been alright, considering.  Ron's legs are better, the neuropathy is reduced, so I stuck with that.  I recovered from the thing I had last weekend.  I kept it pretty short. 

That's about when that kid got into our cart so I was glad I had hung up before I started yelling. 

Ron is sitting in the kitchen drinking and regurgitating stupid liberal news "stories".  He needs a better source of information.  All the liberal stuff is just diversion from what is really happening. 

Now he's getting theological.  God help us all. 

I need to go, it's going to take a while to shut him up. 

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

My Saturday

It was a pretty quiet day today. 

I slept in until about 7:30.  I heard the little dogs next door (at #2) yapping away in their yard all morning.  Good thing I don't sleep late. 

I got up, took my shower, and did my God Time.  I didn't eat because we were going out to get chicken later.  Looking back, I probably should have had a small energy bar or something because I had a long wait. 

Ron woke up and I got him ready.  He divulged he has been "hiding" 7 dirty t-shirts so I took them away and put them in the dirty clothes pile.  No wonder he ran out of pocket t-shirts. 

Our ride came early to take us to the chicken place.  We had to pick up someone else on the way and it was almost tragic.  It was an older lady, a grandmother, who clearly had 2 small children at the house.  There were several cars in the driveway, and the garage door was open.  The baby toddled out to the street and was wandering around the cab.  I said something to the driver, who said something to the old lady, who said something to the little girl (maybe 5 years old, in my opinion far too young to be babysitting an active toddler).   Had I not said something, the baby could have wandered farther out in the street and been run over by a passing car, or run over by the actual paratransit cab, because you can't see things at that level. 

I think.  At any rate I am always hearing of toddlers getting run over so I was glad I saw him before it got tragic. 

Whenever I see "loose" children outside on our block I always warn the driver, because none of their parents have apparently taught them to stay out of the street. I don't want to be sitting in a cab that runs over a kid and then have to live with the rest of that, lawsuits, trial, etc. for the rest of my life. 

What ever happened to spanking the kid when it ran out in the street?  It's what my parents did, and Ron's. 

Ron was annoyed because he had assumed it was a straight trip, and the old lady took her sweet time getting into the cab, "finding" her pass and ID, etc.  He didn't say anything to her but I could feel his impatience. 

We finally went to the chicken place.  I did not tell Ron about the dead roach on the floor, I didn't find that a good omen.  It was run by a people-group I associate with being "clean freaks" so I was pretty surprised to see the dead roach.  I would have thought they'd see it and whisk it away, and then mop the whole floor with something antibacterial to boot. 

Happily for them, we were not the health department.  Ron wasn't sure what he wanted.  I read him the menu a couple of times until he decided. 

I ordered a chicken fried steak with brown gravy and extra biscuits instead of my side order.  I received a side order with my meal, Ron wanted cole slaw so I got that and gave that to him.  They gave me a spork with which to eat my chicken fried steak.  It was very difficult to use the spork to cut up the meal.  Next time I will bring my own knife and fork. 

It was hot and fresh, just out of the fryer and cooked to order.  Ron enjoyed his chicken but dropped his biscuit on the floor (next to the roach) when I was getting the soda (Diet Coke). 

Our pickup to go home came early, Ron was upset about that.  He was almost finished, though, so we left when he was done.  We had a straight trip home and I took my meds (the whole day's worth) and took a nap. 

Biscuit and Torbie joined me.  Biscuit slept by my legs, and Torbie slept on my left, by my face.  They are so sweet, they are just gifts to me from God. 

I tried to pet Baby Girl last night and she bit me.  Not hard, but she bit me.  Baby Girl is not as social a cat.  I wonder if I did something "wrong" when she was a kitten to make her that way or whether it's just her personality. 

I slept for a couple of hours.  The garbage truck woke me up.  I got dressed, went outside, and put up my can. I watched a little TV and got on the computer a little. 

My mood has been OK, just tired but that is always medication.  I have been taking the stuff for 11 years, I have forgotten what "not tired" feels like. 

Sometimes I wonder about an employer reading this   I should say I have worked tired, sick, no sleep, Ron up all night verbally abusing me, almost any circumstance.  One time I went to work vomiting into a bucket because the food machine was down and needed fixing.  I have worked with migraines, colds, bladder infections, and sinus infections.  I have worked with back pain, foot pain, and broken toes.  And I have done a good job. 

Now it's time to go to bed with a cat(s) who love me. 

Have a good one. 

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

My Friday Night

My shoulder was bothering me last night so I didn't sleep very well,.  I got up and did my usual morning routine at 4:30 AM. 

I had to go to work.  We did that, got it all done (yes, things are still very slow), and came home.  I took a nap. 

Torbie and Biscuit joined me.  Biscuit is becoming quite the lap cat, it's very endearing.  He's in a basket nearby sleeping. 

I got up at 12:30 and got ready to go to the dentist.  As you may recall, I chipped something on a back tooth last week, while eating fish, of all things.  I had a new, sharp, edge that cut the inside of my cheek whenever I drank anything. 

I thought it was my new filling and decided I had better get it checked out.  So, we went to the dentist. 

As it turns out, I chipped the tooth itself, and not the filling.  All he had to do was trim down the sharp edge with some sort of grinding thing.  It didn't even hurt. 

Best of all, it only cost me $6 with my dental discount plan.  We pay about $100 a year, and we get discounts on various procedures.  My filling, cleaning, and x-rays all together cost $161 last month.  Ron's root canal cost about a thousand, his extraction cost about $90 (on the tooth that broke from eating trail mix).  I think it's a good deal. 

We left and I pushed Ron, in his wheelchair, to the Walmart.  Towards the end he said "I should have put on my hat".  Yeah, well it's a little late now, we're almost at the door. 

They didn't have an available kiddie cart so I left him by the plastic bag recycling station and did my shopping.  First stop, pharmacy.  I got my prescriptions, all 4 of them, they cost about $85 for all of it.  So, I run about $85 a month.  I checked it all. 

I have my reasons.  Harriet [same last name] and I have the same month and day birthdate.  So one time they gave me her diabetes medications.  Another time my doctor's intern called in sleeping pills and antianxiety medication, which are both highly addictive and nothing I want anywhere near my life. 

So, I check.  Lithium, Haldol, Wellbutrin, and Depakote.  All there.  Good. 

Then I went to get Ron's "patch cord".  I asked him if he wanted a gay cord, male to male, and he laughed.  Yes, he said, he needed one with a male at eat end, stereo plugs, 3.5 mm. 

Years ago I applied to work at a Radio Shack.  I told the manager I was a ham radio operator.  He said he would hire me on the spot if I walked into the store.  Because I knew how things worked. 

I never took the job but it was nice to know I was in demand.  Ron has taught me a little about electronics so I knew what he wanted. 

I did call him, did he want the 4 footer, or the 6 foot?  $2 difference.  He said he wanted the 6 foot. 

Then he said he wanted more t-shirts with pockets, so I got him 4 more. 

Why, Hello!  I just found Torbie under my chair.  What a sweet girl. 

I am thinking, strongly, about doing the paleo diet.  Meats, vegetables, and fruit.  No dairy or grains.  I think it is something do-able if I can find some precooked meats.  I'm still exploring the idea.  I would be doing this mainly for my health and not for any weight loss.  If I lose weight, great, if I gain weight, I would stop, but I just mainly want to get more energy, lose the headaches, etc. 

Walmart lost power the other night during a bad thunderstorm so I didn't have a lot of selection, but I did pick up some coconut oil (the kind for cooking) and some olive oil).  Those are the "good" paleo oils they want you to use. 

They also suggest avocado but I hate avocados, they make me gag and I don't like the flavor.  I can't imagine the oil is going to be any better. 

I could have bought some walnuts, if I had thought of it, but I can do that at Sam's on Saturday.  I like walnuts, they are full of healthy oils, fiber, and have a nice crunch. 

Let's just hope I don't break any more teeth on them! 

I can't believe I  broke a tooth, eating fish, of all things. 

Doc did a good job of grinding it down, though.  I was worried he would have to redo the filling.  My goal is to stay out of the dentist's chair as much as possible for as long as I can.  Ron spends enough at the dentist. 

He told me today he thought he was getting an abscess.  I told him to take some olive leaf.  He did and it got better, so I will remind him to keep it up with the olive leaf until he can get to the dentist. 

And, of course, I still need to take Torbie in for her shots and yearly exam.  Last month was more "emergent" treat the symptoms kind of deal.  Her weight is at a healthy level, though, which is great, and she has a great personality.  I don't care if she ever gets in my lap but I love it when she sleeps with me, and she's figured this out. 

So, we have a good time, Torbie, Biscuit, and me.  It does get pretty crowded, though. 

So I got all my Walmart stuff, and Ron's.  I bought another case of cat food.  The way I figure, I can never have too much.  I still have plenty of cat food plates, although I guess I could have used another package. 

I paid and got some food.  Ron said he wanted a "small" chicken nuggets and a drink so I went ahead and bought him a Happy Meal.  He enjoyed it.  I got a 10 piece chicken nugget and a large vanilla shake. 

We had a little trouble, though.  None of our regular cab drivers could take us home (Ron had forgotten to make a trip, yesterday).  So we had to call Yellow Cab direct.  A driver took the trip, but he was a ways away.  It took him about 10-15 minutes to get there. 

In the meantime a very friendly Uber driver pulled up, asking if we needed a ride.  We told him we already had one with Yellow.  He seemed like a nice guy; I would feel safe having him drive us/me around.  I may install the app because the Yellow Cab app never seems to work for me. 

We finally got our ride, he made sure it was a cash trip, no paratransit.  We agreed.  I put the wheelchair in the back and the groceries in the main compartment of the cab.  We had a quick ride home, he was very nice. 

I put everything away, Biscuit went nuts when he saw the cat food but it wasn't dinnertime yet, AND he still had food in his bowl.  I don't believe in wasting food. 

I did some organizing, cleaning, etc.  I inspired Ron to clean the litter box in his room.  He is really bad about cleaning it but amazingly the cats still use it.  I took out some garbage.  I put away the new stuff from the store the day I got it, yay me. 

I have tomorrow off but we aren't doing much.  I got my tooth fixed today, and went to Walmart already, so I don't "have" to go anywhere for the next couple of days. 

It's my weekend.  I would much rather have days off during the week than have them on the weekend along with everyone else. 

Monday, July 10, 2017

Monday Madness

I had a little trouble sleeping due to my shoulder, but I didn't have any emergency bathroom trips, either.  I ended up taking some aspirin at 2 AM just to take the edge off.  I got up at 5 and took my shower, glad I had already set up my nice new soap and scrubby. 

Ron seemed OK, the Neurontin is helping.  He is taking part of an old bottle he got years ago.  He needs to go to his primary doctor and get a bona fide prescription for it so he can have a regular supply instead of using up his "leftovers".  That, of course, will take some time. 

We went to work.  It was pretty uneventful, and slow. Ron said we could probably take 3 days off but I wouldn't want to try it.  I thought it was funny, the other vendor is now selling the LSS (1.5 to 2 oz) variety packs of the hot chips, like I have done, for years.  We steal ideas from each other all the time.  However, she only got 2 cases for 10 vending machines.  I am flattered at the "plagiarism". 

Other than that, things were pretty dull.  Dull is good. 

We came home and met "the other blind guy" who lives near us.  He has an Iphone, apparently you can make them talk, but Ron is happy with his talking flip phone.  Good, he is pretty hard on his phones and I would hate to see him drop an Iphone on the floor, like he has his other, once, much less all the times he's done that to date. 

I took some aspirin and a nap.  I ate some snacks at work but not much.  I am still pretty leery. 

Torbie slept with me during my nap, that is always nice.  Eventually she got up and left me for Ron, who had treats.  I had strange dreams about my stepmother's family, and food, so I suppose I am hungry. 

I will eat after we file the P&L report online.  I don't want to eat beforehand.  Ron also needs to call the pharmacy back and get my prescription refilled.  When he called earlier, they were closed due to lack of power.  [edit: still closed]

I need to check the mail and see if the electric bill arrived.  If it did, then we can pay it when we go to Walmart tomorrow.  Ron may also have some new talking books. 

I need to empty my Walmart shopping bags that are sitting in the front room.  I have a bad habit, if it is not perishable I tend to leave it in the bag on the floor when I bring it in the house, and only get it out when I need it.  I need to take everything out and store the bags in their holder. 

I got my shopping bags from Sam's Club, years ago.  They no longer make the bags so I am very careful with them. 

When I shop, tomorrow, I need to get some more condensed vegetable soup.  I am out now.  I ate my last can yesterday when I was sick.  Clearly I need more for the next time I get sick. 

I need my pills.  I can always use more cat food and litter. 

We finished the report.  We didn't make much money last month. 

Ron called a cab to take us to get dinner, at a cheap fast food place. 

Oh, and we got the electric bill.  Ron had prepaid $100 last month.  Even with him running the A/C on "popsicle" all last month we still have a $30 credit.  Thank you, God.  Thank you, guy who got Ron a better billing plan (5 cents a KWH instead of 11). 

I'm off. 

Sunday, July 9, 2017

You don't want all the details

So, today I've had a headache and the digestive issue. 

Happily neither has been too bad, but it's been bad enough I'm glad this all happened on my day off.  I've been hydrating and making sure I get enough salt (that is really important when taking lithium).  I ate a muffin, a granola bar, and a can of condensed soup (I didn't dilute it).  Baby Girl got very excited over the soup, thinking it was cat food.  I put it on the floor for her, figuring she would not be interested in beef & vegetable condensed soup.  She started licking it up, I had to take it away from her. 

I also took a salt tablet to be on the safe side.  Ugh.  I'll be glad when this is over. 

My shoulder still hurts, too. 

Torbie slept with me last night, and slept by my foot earlier today.  That was nice. 

I have everything set up for my shower tomorrow (I took one today and used up the last of the soap), a new scrubbie and a fresh bar of rose-scented soap.  Ron prefers to use liquid soap when he bathes.  That will make tomorrow a lot more pleasant, nothing worse than having to climb out of the shower and find a new bar of soap.  I already have plenty of shampoo. 

[gurgle/cramp]  Ugh, I will be glad when this is over. 

Ron has been pretty quiet today.  I think he started drinking pretty early and basically passed out all day.  I forgot to call in my prescriptions while the pharmacy was open so I will have to do it tomorrow. 

I took some aspirin for the headache and it helped a lot.  It didn't bother my lower digestive issues any.  Aspirin, if it's going to be a problem, is going to bother the stomach, and that wasn't a problem for me.  So far my actual "stomach" is fine.  It's the rest of my GI tract that is unhappy. 

I really don't think you need ALL the details.  If I had a flu or something I might share that, but not this.  It has been ages since I was sick like this, though, so that's a good thing. 

If I didn't know better I would say maybe I had Clostridium perfringens, but the symptoms don't match what I ate.  I am 99% certain you cannot get Clostridium from eating biscuits, and that's all I had for dinner the other night before my symptoms started. 

I did take some coconut oil, which I hear is good for all sorts of ailments (I have the "good" kind, virgin coconut oil).  I just ate a spoonful. I know Adele Davis said eating fat would help with lower digestive issues so there's that, too. 

I figured it couldn't hurt, even though I don't make a habit of taking coconut oil.  I am proud of how I am staying hydrated and getting plenty of salt.  The cats are fine, I will be too. 

I'll just be glad when this is all over with.  Please God let me get a good night of sleep tonight. 


Sorry to keep you waiting.  Friday morning was OK, we got up at 3 AM and went to work.  I got a bad headache later that day so I couldn't post, and I went to bed early. 

I woke up early on Saturday, went to the warehouse, got all our supplies, kept it under $400 (I put in $25 of my own money because we needed pastry, but I got paid back).  We went to work and unloaded it.  Jack's birthday is next week, I told Ron I think we should give him a cash gift.  He can get what he wants with it, then. 

I always like getting cash.  It can be hard to catch up with my current interest if I'm manic, and you never know what I might need it for.  So far, so good for my day. 

Now, I had woken up on Saturday with a nasty headache, so I didn't eat.  Eating can make the headache mad.  I bought some muffins at Sam's Club while shopping for my other stuff (I paid for them with my money), and ate one when I felt better. 

I felt well enough to work, so I did.  I did everything I was supposed to do and I helped Ron when I could. 

When I got home, I ate one of the muffins and took my medication, and that's where it all went to hell.  Within a few hours, I was experiencing extreme cramps and other symptoms I will not mention.  We went out for BBQ, if I stayed home everytime I felt bad I would never leave.  I ate a slice of pie, seemed safe, and then stupidly ate half of a half pound of sausage links.  Ron wanted links.  OK, we can do that. 

But they looked so juicy and smoky sitting there, and Ron kept offering them... I barely made it home.  I wasn't queasy, just, ah, "digestive". 

I spent most of the night with frantic trips to the bathroom.  I had a dream about a boy I liked in high school.  I couldn't help but compare the boy I knew to Ron.  Then I had a horrible thought, what if the boy I knew became an alcoholic?  Oh, that would be a terrible tragedy.  I like to think of him happily married with a couple of pre-teens.   It makes me happy.  We never could have made it work, with my problems, but I want him to be happy.  That is my fondest wish for him: that he is happy and has a good relationship with God. 

I got up and took my morning pills, gotta have that antidepressant.  I ate another muffin.  I am still experiencing gurgling but nothing else, yet. 

I plan to take a shower, do my God time, and then take a nap.  Torbie slept with me last night and it sleeping on my foot now.  It's going to be hard to leave her for my shower.  She's such a sweet girl. 

I don't care if she's old, she's mine, and she loves me.  That's all that matters. 

Saturday, July 8, 2017


Bad side effects tonight.  Will do a nice long post tomorrow.

Thursday, July 6, 2017


I need to go to bed now, I will give you a full post tomorrow.  I have to get up at 2 and get a delivery, stock, etc. 

We do have a fun dinner planned at my favorite place for biscuits.  Yup, I'm going to eat him (Biscuit), and he'll be delicious. 


Turns out the Tylenol interacted with my lithium, gave me a really bad case of the shakes.  Ugh.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Now I have to go to the dentist.

Well, lunch was a little more exciting than I'd hoped. 

We went to one of those "Seafood boat" restaurants.  I don't know if they have them where you live.  It is a restaurant, built like a boat, with a "cabin" and a "deck".  They do all the food prep and serve some food in the cabin, especially during bad weather.  The deck is usually covered so Ron and I sit there. 

We got there early, no big deal.  They got us some drinks and we waited until they opened.  Ron got an order of diablo shrimp (shrimp, with a jalapeno slice, wrapped in bacon and broiled - they are very popular in Houston, but have different names).  I got the fish and shrimp basket with 2 catfish fillets and 4 fried shrimp, with hushpuppies, and fries.  My whole meal cost about $7-8.  Good food.  I had a slice of key lime pie for dessert ($4), but I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Ron ordered some hushpuppies to go with his shrimp and he ate them.  He told me everytime he eats shrimp he thinks about the story I told him, the first time I ate shrimp. 

My older stepsiblings (a boy and a girl) decided to tease me and told me the tail was the "good" part of the shrimp, to eat that.  So, I did.  My dad looked at my plate and asked me why I hadn't eaten my shrimp, I told him "I did, Daddy" and then he told me to eat the "real" part of the shrimp, the tails were not food and to be thrown away.  I felt pretty foolish as I ate the shrimp, but had to agree it was much better than the tail! 

So, everytime Ron encounters a shrimp tail he thinks of that story.  I ate my seafood and everything was going swimmingly (if you'll excuse a bad pun) until I noticed my back right molar (#2) felt kind of odd, like something was caught in it.  Something sharp. 

To my horror, I realized that part of my filling had broken off while I was eating.  I have a jagged edge in my mouth now.  Not what I wanted. 

Now, I heard the dentist say they have a 1 year guarantee on all fillings so it will be free to fix, but still, I'm walking around with an incomplete tooth until Tuesday (Ron called and scheduled me).   No pain, but I am taking painkillers for my shoulder/neck thing. 

We came home and I took a nap.  I had a pretty good one.  When I woke up I took some aspirin to get me through to 9:30, when I will take another dose of 8-hour stuff.  The pain is slowly getting better. 

On my Facebook feed, I actually had a post from 3 years ago talking about exactly the same pain, so this is just something I have to live with.  Like I told Ron, I don't have any tingling or weakness so I don't think there's anything they can do to help. 

I might consider going to a chiropractor if it stays bad, but, like I said, it does seem to be getting better. 

Sorry!  No whining. 

I got up and brought in the garbage can, checked the mail, etc.  I fed the cats because Biscuit kept bugging me, then he got on my lap.  He's pretty cute. 

I have some photos, I figured out where they were hiding in my phone.  Some of these are older, and not from today, but you get the idea. 

Ron and Torbie:
 Biscuit in my lap:

I thought about putting up the "blood on the floor from when Ron fell off the walker and split the back of his head open" photos but they are really gruesome and look like a crime scene.  And people will just judge anyway.  I plan to keep those for self defense if Ron actually does manage to injure himself one night, I can show these and say "I tried to help him, he has a history". 

I'm going to go.  I plan to do some organizing in the front room. 

Ron is still taking his Neurontin and has been in less pain (I don't know if he made the correlation, but I did, he isn't shouting in pain and jerking his leg today), so hopefully he will keep that up.  He had a blackout last night and was very worried he might have been cruel to me, but I told him he just kept going in and out of the garage. 

This morning, I threw away an empty wine box and 3 empty cases of vodka that had been living in the garage.  If it is clearly trash, it is going out to the street.  I just put the cases by the garbage can, they wouldn't have fit into it.  Yes, it screams that someone in the house is a lush, and they probably think it is me, but I'm OK with that.  Either some hoarder or the recycle person came by while we were at lunch, and took them.  Good. 

I have trouble figuring out how to organize things.  That causes me to have clutter and chaos in the house.  I also have energy issues. 

However, I think at the end of it, I am not a hoarder because I am ALWAYS happy to get rid of stuff.  Hoarders freak. 

Death warmed over

Horrible migraine all night.  Feel like crap, look pasty and sweaty.  Off to work!