Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The Source

 Ron had arranged a pickup at about 9, which meant, if I did my God Time, I had to get up at about 7.  I did that, but I did hit the snooze a couple of times. 

I took my shower and got dressed, then did the Bible Study portion of my God Time.  I looked out the front window to a mountain of old furniture and garbage out in front of my house, where it meets #2's property. 

#2 was doing a dump and trying to make it look like my stuff.  I went out and looked.  Yup, a bunch of old garbage no one would want.  A broken plastic kid-sized toy car, some old furniture, a ton of dresser drawers....full of rat poop. 

If you are a long time reader you remember the rat problems I had after this guy moved in.  Thankfully I had the black cat you see in the slideshow.  He was a rat murderer.  He used to bring me a couple a week, for a while.  Usually dead.  Sometimes not, which made for very interesting blogs! 

The guy is a hoarder and wasn't even throwing out his trash for a while, it was scattered all over the yard.  I finally got advice to contact the health department.  They came out and wrote tickets.  He didn't clean up.  They came out again and wrote more tickets.  He cleaned up, somewhat.  I also contacted his landlady, who came out and did an inspection.  I could hear her screaming as I sat  inside my house. 

I knew he was bad.  I didn't know he was The Source.  But there was the proof for all to see, dresser drawers, all of them, all filled with (conservative estimate) a half cup rat poop each. 

And I was going out to breakfast with Ron.  I debated my choices.  This guy had so much crap on the curb I wasn't sure the garbage men would take it all.  I didn't want all that rat shit (sorry, literal term) in front of my house making me look bad. 

I'm messy.  I'm cluttered, but I'm not filthy and I don't have rats. 

I decided I would call the landlady again if the trash didn't pick it all up.  She really ought to know that apparently they had big rat issues in the house. 

On the one hand, I feel sorry for her, but on the other she only ever made an inspection when I asked her to.  You can't be a careless landlord.  Just because someone seems nice and pays the rent doesn't mean they are up to your standards of tenancy. 

I went back in the house. 

We got a call that our ride was arriving shortly.  I looked outside to see a Mexican woman in a black compact car parked in front of my driveway, looking at the plastic toy car. 

"Rats!"  I told her "Full of rats!  You don't want it!"  She backed up.  I told her we had a ride coming and she needed to move.  She circled the block until we left, and then took the broken plastic toy car.  I wouldn't want rat feces around my kids, or grandkids.  I guess she didn't care, or figured she could clean it up.  Ew.  Poor kid's probably going to end up with plague or hantavirus. 

We had a fairly straight trip out to the BBQ place.  We had to pick up someone at Hong Kong Market.  She shoved a jackfruit in my face and told me to smell it.  I wasn't impressed, but I made the appropriate yum yum noises. 

We dropped her off at Dollar Tree (I would worry about the produce getting warm, but she didn't),and finally went on our way. 

We had a good meal, and didn't wait too long for our pickup.  It was the same driver.  However, since we finished early (not that early, maybe 10 minutes), dispatch said we would have to wait outside some woman's home.  Fine.  I wasn't happy to hear that meant we would wait almost an hour because, "She's never ready before her pickup time" per the driver.  Ron had to use the bathroom so they made a big production out of calling the other client and "getting permission" (What the heck!? I have NEVER heard of that!) to leave to take us home.  We were only about 5 minutes away, round trip.  The driver would have been back with plenty of time to spare, before her pickup.  They (dispatch) were worried she would think he had "left her" and wasn't coming back.   Since when do they care about that? 

Well, after waiting in front of your house for almost an hour, at noon, we certainly should have been able to leave.  She was only going to the mall, anyway. 

We finally got home. It had been so long since my meal I decided to wait on taking my pills.  I took a nap and woke up when the trash came by about 1:30.  I listened.  They took a good long time in front of my house, which meant, I hoped, they were taking it all. 

I got up and looked.  Yes, they did.  I found it funny they left his garbage can in the middle of his driveway, so he'd have to get out of the car to move it. 

I went ahead and put my garbage can away, then went back to bed for an hour.  Tomorrow will be pretty crazy so I want all the rest I can get. 

I'm doing a load of laundry and I plan to go to bed early, God willing.  Right now the #6 kids are outside playing, but they generally wrap it up around dark. 

If not, I'll just lie in bed and endure.  Won't be the first time. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Biscuit almost killed me today

Biscuit almost killed me today.  More on that in a minute. 

We had today off.  I got up around 7:30, took a shower, and got dressed.  I did my God Time later. 

Ron and I went to Walmart.  I figured out I can fit the wheelchair in the kiddie cart (standard shopping cart with a blue plastic seat mounted on the back).  Ron was able to sit in the kiddie cart while we traveled with the wheelchair. 

He needed pants.  He is a 29 inseam, but what waist?  He asked me to get him 36 and 38.  "How will I know which one's the 38?" he asked.  "You'll know" I replied. 

I sent him into the dressing room.  He selected the nonelastic, plain front, pants.  Could I find him some more?  He was a 36, I heard him laugh when he tried on the 38's "I see what you mean". 

I found him more pants and put them in the cart.  We got supplements cal/mag/zinc for both of us, and Vitamin D, 5000 IU, for Ron.  I got some soda.  Then I went in search of cat food for Biscuit.  They were out.  I asked Ron if he wanted cat treats.  No, he said. 

He was tired of sitting in the kiddie cart and wanted to go back to his wheelchair, sitting up front.  I did that. 

A couple minutes later he called me, complaining, about a Salvation Army bell-ringer.  I asked him if he wanted to get back in the cart.  No, he said. 

I finished my shopping and checked out.  We came home, I put away the perishables. 

I noticed Biscuit was playing with a squeaky toy.  It was wet.  I didn't stop to think that meant my tile hallway was wet - TOO! 

My right leg went back, my left leg went forward and sideways, and I hit the ground with my right forearm when I fell.  SMACK. 

I released an impressive stream of invective as I fell, and as I lay on the floor. 

Ron gaped in shock.  "Are you OK?" 

[sarcastic]  "I don't know!"

"What happened?" 

I told him. 

"You're OK."

I noticed that Biscuit, the murdering traitor, had hidden himself.  I realized I had three points of pain; the outer side of my left foot, my right knee, and my right forearm and elbow. 

I got to my feet, carefully.  So far, so good.  I got a towel and mopped up the floor.  No sense in Ron falling, especially with weaker bones. 

I took a moment to thank God for no serious injury.  I am so glad I take mineral supplements to keep my bones strong.  You never know when something like this will happen.

I shoved Ron, drinking, out of the way and got an icepack out of the freezer.  I put it on my knee.  I was most worried about that. 

I ate a snack and took my pills, then took a nap, my ice pack still on my knee. 

I was pretty freaked out when I woke up from my nap with my hand numb.  I thought I'd really harmed myself, but I had just slept funny on my ulnar nerve.  I didn't really relax until the feeling came back into my fingers.  Then I went back to sleep. 

It was supposed to rain today, it didn't. 

I got up and did my God Time. 

I need to do laundry but I didn't.  I still get anxious when I run a load after all the drama I had with it not working - was it just last month?  Man. 

Then I got on the computer, did some internet stuff, wrote about Biscuit on Facebook, and watched some TV. 

By the way, the people who live behind us (we have #2 on the right, and #6 on the left, then the people behind us - the people in front of us are across the street).  Anyway, the people behind us have a big scary sounding dog, but they don't leave it in the yard much. 

They did get a lurid orange back porch light, which shines in Ron's room and the bathroom, when they have it on, which is when (apparently) the dog is in the yard.  Ron likes the dog, thinks it helps protect our property.  I don't know about that.  We don't have the best fence.  I'm glad the catio is so securely fenced, just in case that dog ever breaks through. 

I still think that dog may have injured Gravy and led to his death.  But I don't know for certain. 

I am fine, other than some bruising on my elbow.  Thank God.  The last thing I needed was a compound fracture, a dislocated kneecap, or both. 

Oh, my life. 

Monday, November 28, 2016


This morning I got a text message saying my cell phone service had been suspended.  Great.

We had to go to work, though, so we did that.  I took some Excedrin, my morning pills, a Diet Mountain Dew, and a protein bar. 

On the way to work (we had another pickup) I got very queasy.  The driver was in a very chatty mood and didn't notice.  Happily, I had a large container with a screw-on lid, we use them for sorting coins.  It holds about a gallon.  If I had to vomit, I had a receptacle. 

The driver chattered and chattered as I nodded and made one-word replies.  It's true, people don't want to hear me talk, they want to hear themselves talk.  She thought I was a great conversationalist. 

I was just trying, desperately, not to puke. 

I think it's one of those self-employed things: yes, I feel like crap, but I'm going to work anyway.  I don't have any sick leave and no one else can/will do my job if I don't.  One reason I take a lot of supplements. 

By the way, Ron took his cal/mag/zinc supplement this morning, I heard him.  I think he is taking the osteopenia thing pretty seriously. 

We got to work, I got Ron to his wheelchair and I ran for the Pepto.  I drank a couple of chugs and then had a very cold Diet Dr Pepper.  I figured that would help.  It helped both the headache, and the nausea. 

By then, of course, I was way over my caffeine limit so I tried not to drink any more caffeine. 

I had a look at the machines.  We had had some moderate business.  Some things were sold out that I couldn't replace.  We had planned to go to the warehouse today after work, but it was supposed to be heavy rain and severe weather. 

We stocked.  I got the sandwich delivery and stocked them.  I helped Ron.  He liked that I helped him first and then did snacks.  I figured if anyone had a complaint they could take it to Ron. 

We didn't have any complaints, and Ron kept thanking me.  Apparently it is that important to do all his work first, before mine. 

I like to think I'm flexible. 

We finally finished and left.  The driver was waiting on us.  Ron walked partway outside with me because I told him weight bearing exercise is good for bones. 

He is taking it seriously. 

We had a straight trip home.  The driver played some prank calls from radio shows.  One them... well, I don't want to get him in trouble, but it was very funny. 

We got home and heard Biscuit crying in the house for us.  He gets very excited when we come home.  I think it may come from having been abandoned in the woods "You came back!". 

We came in and I took a short nap after talking to Ron.  When I got up, I did my God Time. 

I also got my debit card and ID.  We were going to the cell phone store. 

Chuck came and gave us a ride.  He still thinks the cell phone company screwed up but I know it didn't.  Ron failed to pay the credit card, which declined, on two separate occasions.  Of course the company is going to be upset. 

I went in and honestly explained everything to the clerk.  They have always been good to me at this store. 

She took a cash payment for the current month, and then set up MY debit card for auto-pay.  We should be set now.  She was glad I had my ID. 

It will start debiting my account in about a month.  Every month.  I just need to put the money in my account so nothing bounces. 

God knows I don't want to do all this over again. 

I got 2 text messages confirming autopay, and my payment.  I felt good about that.  Ron also called my phone and verified it was taking calls, all before I left the store. 

Ron basically sent me in the store by myself, telling me to "come get" him if I had a problem.  I didn't. 

Afterward, we went out for BBQ.  Well, they got BBQ, I got cheesecake.  My stomach was still bothering me.  I managed to gag down my pills, though.  So, far, so good.  A little gurgling. 

I haven't had stomach trouble (and by that I mean the actual stomach organ, not my abdomen), in a while.  Lithium can be very hard on the stomach, and so can aspirin, which I often use for headaches.  Not surprising I get a little discomfort. 

We came home.  We have tomorrow off, except for a trip to Walmart.  Ron only has 3 pairs of pants so we need to get him some more.  I like to wait on doing laundry, build up a load, not wash every day.  A couple more pairs of pants would be beneficial. 

And, like Ron said, they only cost $10.  Since they're an everyday thing I don't think they sold out during Black Friday. 

Sunday, November 27, 2016

I hope tomorrow is a better day

I was moderately impressed last night, #6 wrapped up the party (including deflating the bouncy castle) around 10:30-11 PM as opposed to midnight.  I guess a toddler can only stay up so long, and the guest of honor went to bed "early".  I went to bed a little after 11 and slept pretty well. 

I didn't have any cats in the bed, which is good and bad.  It's bad because I get lonely, good because I have room to roll over without squashing anyone. 

I woke up so depressed.  I curled into bed, trying to get some more sleep.  I finally resigned myself to getting up, did that, and found Ron, at 8 AM, with a drink in his hand. 

Now, as I lay in bed I reminded myself of the precepts from a business/self-help book I read many years ago.  It was called "Contact, the first 4 minutes".  Basically the tone you set in the first 4 minutes of an interaction will determine the whole tone of your interaction with the person, one reason people make small talk. 

One thing he said, don't immediately jump into negativity.  Don't do that, he begged. 

What did I do when I saw Ron standing there with the drink in his hand?  Sitting in his wheelchair, rather? 

"What are you doing?  It's only 8 AM!"

"My foot's bothering me." 

"Of course it is, you had a blackout yesterday!"

"I figured you were gone [out], I might as well get drunk.  And my foot hurts.." 

"You need to take your Neurontin.  That helps." 

"I can't take it when I'm drinking." 


He asked how my day went yesterday and I told him, lousy.  I explained the problem with the credit card not working and not being able to pay my phone bill.  He sighed, put the drink away, and called the bank.  It was overdue, so they turned off processing for it. 

He kept trying to set it up to pay my cell phone, I had to yell, several times "It's coming off my account now".  If he wants to give me the money for the bill every month, he can.  It will be a pinch but I need reliable phone service.  I can't have them cutting it off because he forgot to pay the credit card. 

My name is not on that credit card, so I'm not worried.  If he wants to ruin his own credit, I can't stop him. 

He just couldn't be bothered to check because it was "supposed" to take money out of the checking to cover the bill, but he never looked to see if they were. 

I took a shower and did my God Time.  Ron went back to bed. 

I got a text from my cell phone provider, they will run my card tomorrow.  They money's in there.  For now. 

I never assume my account is secure.  But as far as I have been able, I've made it possible for the cell phone bill to come out of my account now. 

Ron was pretty upset at first, but then said fine. 

I was exhausted.  I figured I would take a nap while I could, and went into the bedroom.  Just in time to hear the sounds of the bouncy house being inflated and the children, all 6 of them, coming out to play.  They screamed, yelled, and bounced for about an hour as I lay miserably in bed.

The blower (fan) noise for the bouncy house reminded me I hadn't turned on the fan in the bathroom after my shower.  I got up and did that. 

There is nothing worse than the sound of children playing, when I'm depressed.  Nothing. 

They finally stopped.  The castle didn't make a lot of noise deflating.  The kids played with a soccer ball for a while. 

Finally over.  I got my nap, had nightmares, and woke up with a headache.  I took some aspirin and ate some yogurt raisins.  Ron was in a better mood, sober, so we talked a little. 

I watched a little TV and decided I wanted a pizza.  I was happy to find the pizza company had a sale, half off everything.  I got Ron a BBQ chicken pizza and myself a pepperoni deluxe.  I had them leave off the garlic on mine, and they did.  I think the crust tastes a lot better without it anyway. 

Garlic can give me headaches, as I have a mild allergy. 

Ron decided it was "cruel" to lock up the cats in the bedroom.  He went outside in his wheelchair to get the pizzas.  When they came, he let me know and shut the garage door.  After he shut the garage door I opened the door to the house.  I brought in the pizza.  Ron made a crack about that "I'll have to get myself up the ramp".  I don't think he could. 

I got him up the ramp and gave him his pizza.  He ate about 3/4 of it.  He was moaning in pain from overeating the last I saw him.  I ate 2 slices of mine, I'm full.  As I said, it's very good without the garlic butter on the crust. 

I took my meds between slice #1 and slice #2.  I figured it would help them settle.  I did up all my meds last night during the party, I have 2 weeks all ready to be taken as needed. 

I finally told Ron, casually, we had gotten the results from his X-ray.  "Is it broken?" he asked.  No, I responded.  But you have osteopenia, weakening of the bones.  It's not surprising considering he consumes no calcium, does not exercise, and drinks. 

The radiologist wrote a note for Ron to take a calcium and vitamin D supplement.  Ron says he has Vitamin D so I will trust him on that.  I gave him what's left of my bottle of calcium/magnesium/zinc tablets.  "Take one whenever you take a Tylenol" I told him.  He takes his painkiller a couple times a day. 

I also noticed his knee was warm to the touch but not red.  I think it's arthritis.  Which was also noted on the radiology report. 

Agh.  He's so fragile.  I am not upset that he is disabled, I just wish he took better care of himself.  It would be like me, knowing I am mentally ill, pulling all-nighters, using drugs, and refusing to take my medication.  Of course you're going to have problems. 

Tonight a weatherfront comes in, with rain. 

I sure hope tomorrow is a better day. 

Saturday, November 26, 2016

I should have gone to work.

It's been a long day. 

I tried to take a nap after I took my shower, but I couldn't sleep.  For one, Mr. #6 was outside kicking the ball with the kids.  I looked outside.  His wife was gone.  I muttered to myself about clich├ęs.  On the one hand, it is sweet, the kids will never be able to look at a soccer ball without thinking of their dad.  On the other hand, really?  Into my bedroom wall?  How hard is it to say "No, don't"? 

But it's "family time" so I try not to get hostile.  At least he is interacting with his kids, instead of abandoning them or raping them.  Positive, Heather.  Be positive. 

We lived in one place where you could hear the immigrant beating his wife; another where a woman beat her children. 

These kids are not psychopaths, they're just loud during the parties, and reckless about running into traffic.  Be positive. 

They did chase the cats, though, which I didn't much like, but the cats just learned to stay away from strangers. 

I had been playing with the idea of going out and getting some incense.  Maybe at the Fiesta.  But, I thought, I don't like the fact they sell a lot of Santeria stuff (devil worship).  Incense can play a part of that. 

Then I remembered the flea market.  I had been wanting to try it for a while, and I heard from another paratransit client they sell incense.  It was one local bus ride away. 

I got my bus pass and left.  Ron called after I left.  He was his sweet self.  I miss that man. 

I had a good time talking to him.  I got off the bus.  I was hungry, but not starving, and I didn't have my pills, which meant I'd have to eat a big meal later.  I got a small cheeseburger and put bacon on it, eating it with curly fries and a large diet root beer.  They had one of those Coke stations where you can pick one of 50 drinks. 

I liked the diet root beer because it's sugar and caffeine free.  I carried it with me to the flea market after I cleaned my table.  Ron called again. 

He was getting drunk, and playing loud country music.  I think I developed my dislike of country music due to that - Ron always likes to play country music "drinking songs" ("The Everclear song" "Time to take my drunk ass home" etc.) when he's drinking, and I have come to hate it. 

I tried to juggle my drink, the phone, and the door.  I failed to manage the drink and dumped ice cold diet rootbeer in my cleavage (I was wearing one of my standard, modest, oversized t-shirts).  Oh, that was unpleasant.  I hung up with Ron and looked around. 

Well, if I wanted a quince dress, "gold" (plated, more like) jewelry, fake perfume, or cowboy boots I had come to the right place.  I wasn't seeing any incense.  I found one shop off in the corner but they sold Santeria stuff.  I got chills just looking in the door.  God puts the Holy Spirit in all believers and it was screaming at me to get out.  I left.  I made a loop of the perimeter.  I found a nice Jamaican man with dreadlocks, selling incense.  And I didn't see any satan stuff either.  Good. 

Even better, he had a good quality product.  I used to make my own incense so I understand the process.  You can't be cheap with the fragrance oil.  I didn't want a repeat of the cheap stuff I had gotten the other day. 

I bought 20 sticks for $2.60.  He had a hard time making change.  Next time I might bring him all coins to pay. 

I got a text.  My cell provider couldn't process the payment.  [bad word]  I tried to call Ron (my phone still worked at least) and went to voicemail.  [bad word]  I left him a concise message. 

He called me back, roaring drunk, slurring his words and totally incoherent.  He was incapable of helping me.  I felt so hurt and betrayed. 

Not only had he screwed up somehow with the finances, now he couldn't even help me fix it.  I had two options, as I saw it.  I could go to the mall kiosk and try to make a cash payment, or I could do it online. 

I always keep a little extra "fun" money in my account.  Well, it wouldn't be fun but I could use that. 

But the debit card's at home.  I had to go home. 

You can imagine my horror when I rounded the corner to my house and saw a giant inflatable bouncy house flush against my bedroom wall.  #6 was apparently having another party.  [bad word]  I let loose an internal string of invective.  I could only see one advantage, since the bouncy castle (a lurid pink and purple) occupied the entire bedroom wall, they wouldn't be able to kick the ball into the house. 

More mental cursing when I came home and found Ron slurring as he listened to his country music.  It's inextricably glued to blackouts, now, in my mind.  I guess you'll never find me at a honky-tonk.  So much for being a Texan! 

I wanted to scream.  I had to get out of the house, away from the party, and Ron's drunken behavior.  I had to fix the billing on my cell phone. 

I stormed out of the house after grabbing my debit card.  I had a nice long wait on the bus.  I must have just missed it. 

I was going the other direction this time.  I would love a bench at my bus stops.  Oh, that would be lovely. 

I called my aunt and let her know what was going on. 

I had a great transfer to the mall bus, it literally came 2 minutes after I got to the bus stop.  I was glad I hadn't gone in and gotten a snack as I'd planned. 

I rode the bus to the mall and almost got run over in the parking lot.  Yike. 

I headed in.  The mall was very busy.  I hunted all up and down the concourse, and couldn't find the kiosk for my carrier.  They had every other carrier in the world, and one I had never heard of.  Oh, boy. 

I felt myself starting to unravel, just a bit.  I went to the map.  No.  It wasn't there.  My carrier, who signed me up at that very mall, had run out on me.  They had plenty of other locations, but I couldn't get to any of them tonight. 

I suspected, and was correct in assuming, I had to fix it today or face a suspended account.  I'm on the bus.  It's after 5 PM.  I had to go home and try to fix it on the computer. 

I left the mall probably 20 minutes after I entered it.  I headed back out across the parking lot and almost got run over again.  I got to the freeway.  I had to cross under the freeway to get to the return trip bus stop.  But I hate really busy traffic like that, it gets my PTSD twitchy.  Sometimes I have minor panic attacks. 

But I had to get home.  Happily I found a woman (I think God sent her, but I could tell she was afraid of me) about to cross at the same time.  We ran across together and then across the other feeder road.  Finally at the bus stop, but no bench.  She stood as far away from me as possible and we waited.  A young, light-skinned guy showed up too. I wasn't sure if he was black or latino.  Didn't care.  He wasn't a freak. 

The bus finally came.  About halfway to my destination, an older man boarded with a bike.  We have racks mounted on the front of the buses for bike storage.  The bike rider can stow the bike and then board the bus, without crowding the bus.  He asked the bus driver about the route I'd be taking.  I told him to follow me when we got off the bus. 

We both moaned in despair as we saw "our" bus race through the intersection as we waited at a redlight.  That's half an hour, waiting. 

I disembarked and my friend followed me.  He had Christmas lights on his bike, run off batteries.  They were cool.  He left the bike with me and went and had a smoke.  Then he opened up his 40 ounce beer and had some of that.  Oops!  I don't know how many rules he just broke! 

He alternated between beer and smoking, but he was harmless.  He told me he was visiting from New Orleans.  I didn't tell him he shouldn't say that in Houston.  We had a horrible experience with the refugees in 2005. 

This guy was harmless.  We chatted when he wasn't drinking or smoking.  I didn't reveal any personal information.  I mainly just gave him bus route information. 

I don't consider myself a bus expert but I do not a route or two in my direct domain.  So I played bus expert. 

He got a call and spent the rest of the time talking to his friend.  I worried about fixing my billing.

The bus finally came at 6:30, after half an hour of waiting.  He thanked me as I got off the bus, which I thought was sweet.  I walked through the subdivision.  Car lights illuminated the path in front of me.  Someone was cooking steak, and then something else I couldn't identify, maybe pho. Some people had already decorated with Christmas lights, it was pretty. 

I could hear childish shrieking two blocks from my home.  Wow.  It got worse as I approached my home, the pink bouncy castle clearly loaded with children, several cars parked outside in the street.  I don't know how many kids are next door, but I estimate between 10 and 18.  That's numbers, not ages. 

I went inside and tried to pay my cell phone bill with the computer.  It didn't work.  [bad word]  I was left with one recourse: calling customer service.  No!  Not that!  I hate doing things like that over the phone. 

I kept punching 0 but it kept asking me what I wanted to do.  I told it billing.  What about billing?   Change my autopay card.  OK.  Put in the number.  I did.  I had several more prompts but I got the thing input and it was happy. 

Hopefully it will bill my card tonight and I won't have any more problems. 

Worst case I call it tomorrow (it will always let you pay the bill) and make a one time payment, then the autopay takes over.  I'll be really happy when I get my confirmation text saying this is done. 

I went to youtube and pulled up and 80's and more playlist and played that, fairly loud for me (but still quiet outside the house) as I typed all this up.  I'm tired.  But I still have probably 3 more hours of party next door. 

Ron was very drunk when I got home, fell out of his wheelchair, and crawled around for a while before making it to bed.  I think.  I haven't actually seen him in his bed. 

He will be "sorry" tomorrow, I'm sure, and rail against himself, concoct some new plan to keep from getting this drunk again, until it happens again. 

What a day.  I should have gone to work. 


When a believer marries (or gets into a relationship with) an unreached, atheist, or hostile believer (someone who believes but is very angry at God and His servants), they are constantly forced to choose. 

Paul wrote in the Bible, it is easier to remain single, because a married woman is always trying to make her husband happy (1 Corinthians).  If, like me, you are married to a hostile believer, you are constantly forced to choose between pleasing your husband by totally neglecting your faith life; or nurturing your faith life and earning your husband's disapproval, verbal abuse, and anger. 

Ron acts like he's caught me cheating on him if I tell him I'm doing my God Time, one reason I get up 2 hours early and/or do my God Time while he's napping.  He's just hostile. 

Today I had to listen to him telling me I was "fearful, afraid of God", God Time was "worthless and pointless" etc.  I would expect better from a man who tells literally everyone he meets not to take the mark of the beast.  Out of the house, he is a "good witness" so to speak, he talks about Jesus, forgiveness, salvation; inside the house he yells at me for reading my Bible and praying. 

It's a very difficult position.  He knew I was doing my God time and "wanted to tell me a good blog title".  I reminded him I was doing my God time.  "I'll just get a mistress then".  I gave him a cutting reply I will not share.  But it was good. 

He finally left me alone after more muttering and cursing at God.  I should add here he was drinking the whole time I was doing my God Time. 

Interestingly enough, I don't hate alcohol.  I have met enough temperate social drinkers to understand it's not the alcohol, it's the user.  But alcohol magnifies everything bitter, resentful, and angry in Ron.  That's what I hate.  He was so sweet and loving in the rehab hospital, when he wasn't drinking.  It was, he was, a joy to be around.  I spent several hours a day with him because I knew it wouldn't last.  I was right.  The minute the alcohol came back, so did the bitterness, envy, anger, resentment, and complaining.  Oh, the complaining. 

I didn't see a speck of that when he was "dry". 

So, I've got two problems in one.  I have an alcoholic - I think - he was able to go dry for weeks in the hospital without a problem so maybe not full blown alcoholic?  I'm not an addiction specialist, although I feel like one at times.  He has to drink every day, if he has it available, so I think, yes, alcoholic. 

The alcohol magnifies his inner resentment towards God and people who are happy with Him.  I value my relationship with God, it's the most important thing in my life, even if I forget or neglect to do my God Time, He's still #1. 

Ron resents that.  As a narcissist, he wants to be #1, and he's not.  That makes him bitter and resentful.  Add to that his own issues with God "Why was I born blind?" etc., and you have a messy, angry, bitter, resentful, verbally abusive, lashing-out, monster. 

I'm caught in the middle.  I value my relationship with God.  I value my relationship with Ron.  Years ago, I would shove God aside in favor of pleasing Ron.  I was a real doormat.  I didn't allow myself to have any needs or a voice in the relationship.  I'm not proud of that, and I find it very sad.   I remind myself God forgives me. 

Ron yells at me.  God waits patiently.  God isn't yelling at me.  God loves me so much He died for me.  I go to God.  It's pretty simple at the end of it. 

It is sad that my marriage has to be tested like this but I have to guard my faith.  Ron has his own relationship with God, God reminded me one day.  I'm not to get involved in that.  I'm just to pray and be there for Ron if he needs me.  Unless it's during my God Time.  Of course, if he sliced his finger, or fell and hit his head, I would help him, but most of the - all of the time so far it has been something that could wait.  The worst so far was a cat, I forget who, vomiting somewhere.  Ron didn't know where and was scared to walk on the floor.  I think I got up, located the vomit, told Ron where it was, and went back to my God Time.  After I finished I cleaned up the mess. 

I'm practical. 

Friday, November 25, 2016


#19 started playing loud music about the time I went to bed.  I could have gotten up, dressed, gone for a walk and verified it was #19, come home, called the police, gotten undressed, and gone back to bed, or I could endure. 

I endured.  It went until about midnight.  I had to wake up at 1:45.  I altered that to 2:30 then got up, took a shower, and got ready quickly. 

Our ride came right at 3:45, on time.  This is AM.  She chatted loudly and we hushed her.  We didn't want to disturb the neighbors.  Later on, I didn't feel so guilty about her probably waking them up. 

We went to work.  We got our delivery and stocked the machines.  I decorated, putting tinsel Christmas trees on top of most of the vending machines, a stuffed toy snowman (not the one from Frozen, this predates the movie), and a stuffed toy Santa in one of my snack machines.  I also put snowflake and Santa clings on the vending machine glass, as well.  I felt it was very festive. 

I did encounter a problem with the battery operated lights for Ron's wheelchair.  They required a screwdriver to open the battery compartment.  Darn it. 

I hunted around but I couldn't find a small (about 2 mm) Philip's head screwdriver anywhere.  I ended up buying a set, later. 

We had a productive day at work and left at 8:45.  Things haven't ramped up into FULL holiday mode just yet. 

The paratransit company had called us a regular cab, with a wheelchair compartment.  He was happy to hear Ron wanted to ride in a regular set ("transfer"), and stored the wheelchair properly. 

We got home.  I was exhausted and took a nap for a couple of hours, but didn't sleep very well. 

I got up and did most of my God Time (finished the rest later, before I got online), and got Ron ready to go.  I heard frenzied honking outside. 

Someone's in a hurry, I thought.  I wondered at the driver's impatience.  Then I saw: #6 had a visitor.  He needed to pull up so the wheelchair van could park in front of our house, but he refused to do so.  The driver had to park at an angle, across the street.  Good thing we're not on a busy street. 

When we got out there he (the other driver, who wouldn't move) took a good hard look at Ron and mumbled "She didn't ask me to move".  The driver, when I told her, called bullshit.  She had specifically asked him to move and he said no. 

Nice guy.  "He'll end up in a wheelchair one day" I said "Then he'll understand."  How rude.  He was also blocking #6 from leaving their own driveway, and they were loading up the car.  The rude guy was also leaning on #6's pickup truck as if he owned it.  All around rude. 

I was happy to get away from him.  It reminded me of the guy, looking at a house for sale on our street, who actually got into the wheelchair van, blocking Ron's access, as he interrogated the driver on how he could get his mother "Someone to drive her around".  Ron couldn't get on the van, and he couldn't stand for long, so I asked the intruder to please leave.  He gave me a killing look and stomped off.  I was really glad he didn't end up buying the house. 

The driver complained about that guy all the way to Walmart (more than a couple of miles).  We got to Walmart and I left Ron at the door, then went to make my deposit.  I kissed $240 goodbye for my health insurance (not for long, it's going up) and made my deposit. 

I got everything on my list (Vitamin E, protein bars, canned cat food).  I had enough time to find the small screwdrivers I needed for the Christmas lights and time to buy another strand, and some batteries.  I also bought a little incense, which smells horrible. 

I think I was a little manic.  At any rate I called it done and checked out, paying the nice lady in the elf hat.  I found Ron, who called Chuck, who was nearby. 

We loaded my single bag into the truck, along with the wheelchair.  Happily Chuck has disabled plates so he can park in the "good" spot. 

We went to Carl's Junior.  Ron wanted to try the beer cheese fries.  Chuck likes the chicken tenders with ranch.  I like the Western Bacon Cheeseburger (I give Ron the onion rings).  We enjoyed out meal.  Ron and I ordered some extra food to go so we'd have something to eat tomorrow. 

We loaded everything back in the truck and went home.  Ron began squirming in the backseat.  I could tell he needed to use the bathroom, much, I guess, the way a mother would. 

"When we get home" he said in a strained voice "I need to go in right away.".  Oh, boy. 

We got home.  I raced around back and opened the tailgate.  And I couldn't get the wheelchair to unfurl.  I was so frustrated.  I kept thinking Ron was going to [censored] all over the nice leather seats in Chuck's truck.  I'm sure Ron feared the same thing. 

I finally dragged the chair over to Ron.  Ron managed to get it open and sat down.  I shoved him in the garage.  "Oh, it's not so bad now" Ron told me.  I was so frustrated.  Either you need to go, or you don't!

Don't freak me out with a bathroom emergency and then "Never mind".  Ugh.  Chuck gave me my bag of stuff, I thanked him, and he left.  I got Ron in the house and to the bathroom.  No sense in taking chances. 

I noticed the rude man had left from in front of #6, along with #6's primary vehicle.  I guess the guy was holding them hostage, too.  Rude, rude, rude. 

Anyway, I did my God Time, praying for the rude man in addition to everyone else, and burning my terrible incense.  I watched a little "Pacific Rim".  It's a good superhero movie.  I like them. 

Ron got on the exercise bike for a while and changed the batteries in the bike's computer.  I gave him some "good" name brand batteries to put in the unit.  He had a good little workout and said his knee is feeling better.  Good. 

I finished my God Time and got online. 

I plan to go to bed early tonight. 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving!

Blogger changed my layout, it's a little harder to figure out, especially after I have taken my Haldol.  And I only have a half hour before I have to go to bed. 

It was pretty quiet today, I slept "late" today, which turned out to be 8 AM.  I got up, ate my protein bar, did my God Time, and took my shower.  I watched a little TV. 

By this point, it was about 11.  So I went to bed and took a nap, figuring it would get loud later, and I have to get up Very Early tomorrow.  2 AM. 

I took a nap for a while, with Biscuit.  He's a good cuddle boy.  I got up and started calling family.  First up, I called my aunt, who had some turkey problems this year.  Other than that, she's doing well. 

She has never really liked cats, grandma was terrified of them, but a gray stray female showed up several years ago.  They fed it.  She stayed.  They spayed her.  My aunt seldom even pets the cat, but it seems totally happy with their arrangement.  The cat remains leery of all strangers. 

My aunt told me the cat was rubbing all over her feet, as she talked to me.  I squealed.  The cat freaked out and stopped rubbing.  Oops. 

Next up, I called my adoptive Mom.  She is staying with her mom, trying to get her settled after the food poisoning and losing her long time companion.  They seemed to be doing well.  They were making a dinner of roast chicken and asparagus. 

Last, but not least, I called my Dad.  I was a little worried what he was doing with his wife out of town.  I knew the "nearest" family was out of town and worried about Dad sitting alone with a TV dinner.  No, he was with my stepsister and her son (one of Dad's favorite family members).  Good.  He wasn't alone.  He was working on a puzzle and watching a football game, 2 of his favorite things to do, and having a good time. 

He told me about a pointsettia he bought and I worried he would forget to water it.  I didn't say anything. 

Eventually, we hung up.  Now time to think about dinner.  I heated up my double cheeseburger with bacon until it was nice and warm, but not too hot. I ate it, washing it down with a Sprite Zero I found in the front room (I found a 6 pack).  I ate the burger, enjoying it, and then remembered my pies. 

Our local Walmart sells "mini" pies for fifty cents.  They come in a cute little aluminum pie pan, and are about 3-4 inches across.  They're very good.  I buy them on occasion when I want pie, but only a little. 

Ron, in the meantime, was eating a can of beanie-weenie, hot dogs cut up in baked beans.  After he finished it I offered him a bite of my pie.  He had a couple bites of the pecan. 

The pecan was the best.  The pumpkin pie wasn't bad but it couldn't hold a candle to the pecan.  Ron and I finished the pies and he told me a story. 

His family used to have big family gatherings.  His mother was a renowned cook.  One time, after everyone left, Ron felt warmth coming off one of the chairs in the living room.  He realized what it was and yelled "fire", saving his family and their house.  They ran in with a bucket of water and put it out.  Someone had been smoking in one of the chairs and embers had fallen in the cushion. 

Not bad for a little blind kid.  These days, he'd be a hero. 

I gave the cats 3 cans of cat food, throughout the day, and it went well until Baby Girl knocked the last plate off the table while "burying" it.  She is diligently trying to hide the evidence right now. 

My neighbors were pretty quiet, considering, but it's early days yet.  I have to go to bed, Ron just told me our ride is coming earlier than planned so I have to get up at 1:45. 

Whoo.  That's early. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Thanksgiving eve

I slept pretty well last night.  It rained this morning, as advertised, so I lay in bed and listened to the rain on the roof. 

After it stopped, I got up.  I figured it would be pretty quiet today. 

I was partly right.  I took my shower, did my God Time, ate my protein bar and drank some diet iced tea.  I had run out of my Diet Mountain Dew. 

I changed up my dosing a little.  I was taking my Haldol in the morning but it made me pretty groggy, and my handwriting terrible.  So I take it with my evening pills now.  So far, so good. 

I wanted to get a nap today so I went back to bed around 11 and laid down.  I managed to fall asleep but the kids next door (#6) got out their soccer ball again.  Ugh.  Maybe I need to buy them a Wii or something quiet they can do in the house. 

I won't, but I'm tempted at times. 

No, Heather, you cannot live in the perfectly quiet neighborhood you dream about.  It doesn't exist.  Take your lumps and enjoy the quiet when you do get it. 

It's quiet now. 

I did fall asleep for a while and had an odd dream about a family member (not Ron), cat treats, and a home I lived in during the late 80's.  I was actually happy to get up. 

I did get up and got online for a bit, then had Ron call me a cab.  We must be doing alright, "Mike" took it in 2 minutes, calling us to get the details.  He arrived shortly. 

Ron gave me cab fare to go to Walmart, so I packed up my bags and went (I use large, re-usable tote bags stuffed into an insulated tote). 

I needed underwear, which I got.  I also got cat treats, snacks for Ron, almost a month's worth of soda for myself (at one bottle a day), etc.  I got Christmas clings and lights for Ron's wheelchair.  They are really pretty.  I got apple juice for Ron, and V-8.  He said he would drink it if I got the low sodium version, because the regular is "too salty".  OK, I can do that. 

I bought 38 + 25 = 63 pounds of cat litter, because Chuck was picking me up and I don't have many opportunities to get everything I need.  The paratransit system, properly I believe, has a policy limiting the amount of packages a person can transport. 

By the time I checked out, I had an overflowing shopping cart.  I had the girl put everything in the bags and they all fit.  We put the toilet paper into the insulated tote bag.  I didn't get any food, I tried to stay away from that section.  I did get Ron some Beanie Weenie though.  It is a canned food item, with cut up hot dogs in baked beans.  It's very filling, cheap, and good. 

We won't tell Ron beans count as vegetables. 

I'm just trying to get him to eat better. 

I went to McDonald's and got a value burger, small fries, and a drink.  I was just finishing up when Chuck found me.  He had parked at the far end of the lot.  We went outside and I pushed the cart to the truck. 

I loaded the truck, very carefully with the litter, because they were so heavy, happy it was dry and I wouldn't have to worry about moisture contaminating the packaging.  The litter I purchase comes in cardboard containers.  The cats like it so I'm not inclined to change it out. 

We got home.  I put away the heavier litter and Chuck helped me bring my things into the garage.  He told me he was turning his phone off tomorrow, good to know.  I said goodbye and shut the garage door, then I brought my stuff in the house and worked on putting it all away.  I had a surprising amount of stuff for Ron. 

I put all the work/Christmas stuff into my Christmas bag for work.  It contains a stuffed Santa, various tinsel trees, etc.  Now it also has a hat and Ron's new lights.  I need to go through the bag at work and see if his wheelchair lights are in there. 

Yes, I put Christmas lights on Ron's wheelchair.  Since he is using one for work and one for home, I would like to do both wheelchairs.  I'm going to need some batteries for that and I'm done. 

We will have a longer Friday morning because we have a delivery coming. 

Only problem, I forgot to make the deposit for my health insurance.  I am still really unhappy they are trying to force a crappy HMO on me for $400 a month.  That's almost half my pay. 

I may just save up $300 a month for emergencies.  I don't know.  I'm just frustrated. 

Biscuit got his canned food tonight and he's being a happy boy lying in his little box, behind me.  He's not so little at 14.5 pounds, but he fits nicely in his storage basket. 

Baby Girl ate some too, and wrestled with Biscuit a little bit.  I need to clean the boxes but that's it for tonight. 

We don't have anything special planned for tomorrow.  I will be calling family to see how they're doing. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2016


The cats went crazy with the cat door last night.  It's near my bed.  They were charging in and out of it all night long.  It kept waking me up, and I woke up exhausted. 

If I'm this tired with a couple of cats, and Ron, I'm glad I never had kids. 

I slept late and barely had time for my shower.  I like wintertime, I don't have to shave my legs, although it did get up to 80 degrees today.  I love Houston.  It's never cold for long. 

We have a weather front coming through and that means rain and thunderstorms tomorrow.  After our near-flood event back in April (the first in over 12 years), I hope I can begin to enjoy the rain again without wondering if we're flooding. 

Boy, there's just a million things to worry about, if you go that way. 

So, I went to work.  We had a long ride, mainly because we had to pick up one guy in a bad neighborhood near our home.  It was so bad it was featured in "The First 48" a reality show about murder investigations.  A guy was "slipping" - selling drugs on the wrong corner, was attacked, chased, and shot dead in a vacant lot right across from his apartment.  I was dying to ask the guy if he knew about it. 

First, though, we had to wait for him to come out.  That took about 20 minutes.  They give a call out 10 minutes before the vehicle arrives.  They tell you to be ready 20 minutes ahead of your pickup time.  We waited until well after his pickup time before he decided to come out.  Maybe he was scared of the neighborhood.  I didn't care that he was latino, or in a wheelchair.  I did care that he was tardy. 

If I worked for anyone other than Ron I would have been fired because people like him make people like us, late for work (he was not going to work).  Sure enough, we got there half an hour late.  We barely had time to accomplish our tasks. 

I had to fill snacks, they had been wiped out.  I'm really glad they like what I'm selling but it's important to keep up.  I did that.  I have a low carber so I made sure I stocked the pork rinds.  He (or someone) is doing a good job of buying them up. 

I also helped Ron replace/obtain drinks from the fridge, and stock canned sodas.  He did the soda inventory on his own and called it in. 

I took the money out of the vending machines and counted it.  Then we went to the bank and made our deposit.  Chuck met us at the bank and took us to Burger King.  We got chicken nuggets (all of us), and I got a couple of value burgers to go.  We came home, I put my burgers in the fridge (!), and I took a nap. 

#6 woke me up with one of their soccer games, but I was so tired I went back to sleep.  I woke up around 3. 

#6 started the soccer game again, around 5, and went for a while.  I checked the mail.  More property tax.  I watched a little TV and talked to Ron.  I organized the front room and got my reusable bags together.  I need to go to Walmart tomorrow (after the rain) and get things like soda, cat litter, etc.  I'm getting enough stuff that I'm going to pay Chuck to take me home, that way Ron won't get into trouble on paratransit. 

My mood is OK to moderately depressed.  I'm getting work and my chores done, so I'm happy. 

I'm thinking about cutting out the sugar free drink mix.  I notice it seems to cause big cravings after I drink it.  Besides, it gets tiresome running to get more mix every little while. 

That's it for now. 

Monday, November 21, 2016

Everything that comes out of a can

Well, the house is fine today.  If anything, I think I "would need" to worry about it getting robbed on Sunday.  I was going to go to church next Sunday but I think not. 

That reminds me, I need to watch the sermon.  I didn't get to watch it on Sunday.  It's always an interesting paradox, do I do my God Time or watch the sermon?  Ideally, both.  In this case I did my God Time.  I think talking to God direct trumps (pardon the term) getting instructed. 

The other day, someone on a prophecy board mentioned an obscure passage about a little horn.  I immediately knew it was Daniel.  A quick search proved me right and I was able to post a link to the scripture.  THAT's why (one of the reasons) I do my God time. 

I didn't do it this morning, though.  I was exhausted.  My period has been going (very lightly) for 10 days now.  I think I'm anemic.  From what I hear cycles like this are the big push to the end.  Good, sort of. 

I will need to accelerate my weight loss and get that mostly done before I hit menopause, because I hear it is nearly impossible to lose once menopause occurs.  I've got a clock ticking for weight loss. 

"I've got so much pressure on my back..."  But don't we all?  Really? 

I don't know anyone with what I would consider to be an easy life.  I believe the ones who convey that are fronting.  I pride myself on my honesty. 

It may be grim hearing about Ron's latest blackout (the portion control cups seem to be preventing them for now), or my latest problem, but I think it's important to share my real struggles and how I am overcoming them. 

I need to be in bed right now, but I'm not, because I think this is important. 

So, I got up, just took my shower, got dressed, went to work.  We got the delivery.  I couldn't really do the stocking because I lacked inventory.  I made a list of the stuff I DID have.  I find that more helpful. 

Someone once said I am good at logistics and supply.  I thought that was cool. 

We went to the warehouse and I got all my stuff, plus Ron's.  I remembered to get some drinks he had forgotten so I ended up on his good list. 

We had a little time before Chuck was due so I bought Ron a hot dog, I believe that's the only thing he's eaten today (AGH!).  I need to remind him to eat something beneficial, like a V-8, some protein, or both. 

I ordered 2 churros and was given a frozen yogurt.  She was really busy so I just took it.  It was pretty good but I did get a brain freeze.  I hate that. 

NO headache today, but my back is a little tired. 

I went outside, found one of my "boyfriends" (cart attendant) who loaded the truck.  We went to work.  I got the carts (the mag-liner wouldn't stay shut, very aggravating, it took me a while to fix it), and brought them outside. 

I loaded them.  Ron helped by climbing in the truck bed and shoving small items at me.  We got it all in the building. 

They were having some sort of training so we had a bunch of people without security badges wandering around.  They had gone to lunch when I brought all my stuff in the building. 

I got everything in the back and began stocking a whole lot of candy bars.  I hadn't even finished when the repairman called.  Good.  We got him in the building and he began work.  I went back to the candy bars. 

He finished up, tested it to prove it worked, and charged us $200.  Sigh.  It could have been worse but I was really hoping for $85.  This must be how a car person feels at the mechanic. 

I took him out and came back.  We didn't have much time.  I managed to get everything stuffed into the stockroom and locked up.  Ron locked up his wheelchair (we don't want people using it for seating, or taking it away). 

On our way out, I went out backwards with Ron, so he wouldn't ram the [glass] security door.  One of the trainees leapt at us, grabbing at the door, trying to follow us out.  I removed Ron from the doorway and grabbed the door out of their hands, shutting it.  I'm not allowed to let people in or out, and they ought to know that.  They started (2 of them) yelling at me and I just turned and left.  They know they are supposed to wait for a manager to let them out.  If there is an emergency there is a fire door.  As I left, I heard them whining at management we wouldn't let them out. 

Good, go ahead and "tell".  "Heather takes security seriously".  It's not about being polite, it's about having a secure building.  If you are supposed to be here, you will have a badge.  If you don't have a badge you are a manager's problem, not mine.  I'm not losing our business because you couldn't wait 5 minutes to have a smoke. 

One thing you must always remember when it comes to a secure building: an armed man went to my Dad's workplace and killed 7 people, because, in part, they didn't have good security.  I'm not having anything like that on my head. 

They gave me the "special access" pass because we have hand carts, and Ron is in a wheelchair.  The other entrances are all turnstiles.  Try that in a wheelchair!  LOL  I'm not going to abuse my security pass.   I was told, more than once, we will be asked to leave if I do. 

I was mad enough when a custodian, whom I know very well, grabbed the door and shoved his way in behind us, earlier today.  And I know the man.  I also know he had his own badge to get in that door, but he was just lazy or maybe he wanted to pull my tail. 

About that time paratransit called and Ron told them we were coming.  We went out. 

We got picked up around 2.  Our next pickup was not due to come out until 2:45.  The driver fixed that so we could go straight home and we did. 

I went straight to bed.  I woke up around 5-6.  I did my God Time and ate half a can of "Sweet Potato Casserole".  One can was bulging, so I threw it out.  I don't want botulism. 

The cats were very interested in my "good" can, but not after they smelled it.  I think they figure everything that comes out of a can must be cat food. 

We work tomorrow.  We were hoping for a short day but I don't think that's going to happen.  The coffee machine is also misbehaving.  I need to figure that out at some point if I have the time. 

I sure hope I sleep well tonight. 

Sunday, November 20, 2016

"The guy"

Chuck picked me up at 7, right as all the cars started pulling up and parking in front of #6. 

I was so happy to be escaping.  I saw a middle aged couple get out of their car, she looked star-struck at the "nice" house.  It is pretty average, but it made me wonder where she lives that she was so impressed with a single story 3 bedroom brick house. 

Chuck had a hard time getting out around all the traffic, but he did it.  We went to work.  We got there around 7:30. 

I had a bag full of stuff, my kindle, etc.  I had my coat and a lint roller, because Biscuit got it hairy.  When I had time, I went over the coat again and again with the lint roller, until I got the worst of the cat hair. 

I didn't do much work, I mainly read my book, "Buck Out" if you're interested.  I did stock snacks a little, I didn't have what I needed but I did have a few things I could stock.  I did that.  I also stocked 4 cases of soda.  For whatever reason, they are going crazy for root beer.  I don't get that.  I would think something like Mountain Dew, with all the overtime they are calling, but nope, it's the root beer.  I also stocked some orange, 7-up, and 2 cases of Coke.  Coke is always a good seller. 

I verified the bottled vendor is still dead.  The Y motor control went out last month, now it's the Z motor control (up and down).  Hopefully it will also be a $20 plus labor fix.  A girl can dream. 

The stockroom looked fine so I didn't bother with it. 

I read my book.  The financial stuff was actually understandable so I was able to get it. Sometimes when authors get technical it's way above my pay grade.  I can't understand it.  I could, this. 

Ron sent me a message around 10:30, he had managed to sleep through the party (with the use of 4 shots of alcohol).  At least he hadn't staggered next door and said something unforgiveable, my main concern. 

Well, my main concern was him falling trying to get next door to say something unforgiveable, but it didn't happen.

It was pretty cold for Houston, the low 50's, so I think the kids mainly stuck to their playroom (he built a big addition on the back of his house this year, some kind of playroom I believe).  I got ready to leave. 

I donned my coat and went outside 10 minutes early, to encounter Chuck already waiting.  I think he appreciates my punctuality.  Ron waits until someone is outside waiting for him, then he decides to get dressed and put his shoes on.  It's very aggravating. 

I can be ready early, so can he. 

Ron wanted us to go to Dennys and get him some takeout.  I figured we might as well eat.  It seems rude to take someone to a restaurant and not feed them, in my book. 

So I got a Value Slam and he got Biscuits and Gravy.  I gave him a hard time about "Eating my babies" (I had/have cats named Biscuit, and Gravy - Gravy is no longer with us).  He said they were delicious. 

We talked to the waitress.  She had been wanting a cat but the "good" (tabby) ones were already taken, and all they had left was the black cat.  She kept saying she didn't want a black cat.  I told her to try the black cat for a week, and see how she felt. 

Of course she fell in love with the cat and showed me videos and still photos.  I felt good, knowing I had helped get a black cat into a loving home.  I talked to the waitress about getting the cat fixed, and I will give her information on that the next time I see her. 

"Don't litter!  Spay and Neuter!" 

We went home.  Ron ate half his omlette.  All the visiting cars were gone. 

Good.  I'd have some peace.  They were even done with the cleanup.  Normally he (the homeowner) walks around for 45 minutes throwing away empty glass bottles and banging the garbage can lid, which is right next to my bedroom.  Not last night. 

I even slept pretty well.  I believe he turned off the motion detector light. 

I woke up around 9 AM, a little over 8 hours of sleep.  I got up and took my shower, then did my God Time. 

After that I hung up some clothes and organized a little, I nagged Ron into getting ready so we could leave.  He wanted to get a burger with Chuck. 

Chuck showed up, Ron wasn't ready.  Chuck had to wait again.  He is very good natured about that. 

I got Ron outside and he pulled himself up into the pickup, then I put the wheelchair in the back of the truck.  I have learned a trick, if I put it in sideways (front first), as opposed to top-first or bottom-first, it slides in easier. 

We went to Carl's Jr.  Ron wanted to try the beer cheese burger.  I told him he would have to eat that one at home, naked, because it had lots of messy melted cheese.  He ordered a couple of burgers and made a meal out of - onion rings. 

He makes my inner dietician cringe.  I think I'm bad with my diet, but Ron has me beat.  It's a miracle he stays so healthy.  Really, it is.  He hardly even takes any supplements.  Where is he getting his folic acid?  Vitamin A?  Damned if I know. 

I ate a Western Bacon Cheeseburger.  It didn't agree so I had a shake.  I had woken up with a bad headache and had to take Excedrin.  That meant I had to take all my pills when I got home.  I wanted to have a solid cushion for them.  Before medication, I used to go hours without eating in the morning.  I would only eat when I got hungry.  Not so much these days.  "Take with food". 

Chuck had chicken strips.  They were too hot and burned his mouth, but at least they got up to proper temperature.  Better too hot than salmonella. 

We had a good meal, loaded up, and came home. 

I found a strange, older model, black SUV sitting in front of my house.  A black guy wearing a hoodie sat behind the wheel.  All the windows were down and the engine was running. 

All my surrounding neighbors are Spanish, and do not associate with black people.  I have never seen a black person set foot on their properties unless they were selling something.  #2 was home, I wondered if he had been to church (he wasn't there when we left to go eat).  I figured the strange guy wasn't his guest, either - and there was plenty of room in #2's driveway. 

He just sat there (the guy, not #2), watching us. 

I didn't know what to do.  Should I confront him?  Get his license plate?  Politely ask what he was doing there?  He looked pretty creepy. 

And this isn't the first time, plenty of times I have found complete strangers sitting in front of the house like they pay the mortgage.  Some times I go out and sit on the front porch, and they just stay there for a while. 

What gives them the right to park in front of my house?  I'm not on a corner.  There is plenty of room across the street.  I don't get it.  Now I have to wonder if he's just a random jerk who pulled over to text, or a creepy would-be stalker who is trying to learn out routine so he can rob us. 

I settled for a hard glare as I got the wheelchair out of the back of the truck.  I believe Chuck gave the guy some "eyeball" before he left, too. 

In the meantime I was focused on getting Ron into the chair and then into the garage.  I didn't care the guy saw the inside of the garage, it's just a mess, nothing valuable unless you need a potty chair or a shower bench.  Maybe some yarn and some old litter boxes. 

I got Ron in the garage and shut the door.  Then I opened the door to the house.  Baby Girl got out into the garage, but the door was closed.  This is why we go in through the garage, it's an "airlock" that keeps them from getting out. 

I caught her and looked out the window.  The guy was gone.  Good, I think. 

I gagged down all my pills with a glass of soy milk.  Apparently I am OK with soy products now. 

That reminds me, after I clean the litter boxes (all 4 of them), I need to order some more feverfew from Swanson Vitamins. 

I took a nap for a couple of hours, until #6 came home.  I wondered if the guy waiting in front of my house was really watching their house, mine, or neither. 

My first inclination when I saw the guy was to get his plate and call the police.  However, I didn't want to seem like a hysterical "crazy" woman. 

I asked for some advice on one of my message boards.  They agreed it was totally appropriate, in our situation (Ron being so crippled), to call the police and give them the plate number, or simply ask them to come out and check.  That's what I needed to know. 

I will do that next time.  Also, if I come home and find a person in front of my house, I'm not opening anything until we call the police.  We can just wait outside until the police show up, the other person leaves, or both.  It's very doubtful they would assault us in our own front yard, but they might follow us into the house. 

We live in the End Times.  I can't take chances, especially with Ron.  Hell, I can't take chances. 

Someone else pointed out my job may make me a target for bad guys.  Great.  And I've got my full name out there. 


I'm not going to panic.  I won't lie, I will be very glad to get home tomorrow and find the house OK.  But I'm tired of wondering if some creep wants to take the little we do have. 

Off to clean my litter boxes. 

Saturday, November 19, 2016


I woke up with another headache, I think because we had a cold front come in today. 

So far the aspirin is helping.  I was able to take my AM pills. 

Ron and I had planned to work this afternoon.  Now he's saying he doesn't want to go to work.  That will be 3 days off of work.  We can't do that. 

I don't know why.  "I've never seen you as lazy" I told him.  I probably shouldn't have name called but I was frankly shocked. 

I think it's the alcohol.  It saps all the initiative from him.  If he goes to work, he can't drink all afternoon as he's accustomed. 

I hope I'm wrong.  We're leaving.  More when I get back. 

Well, work was OK.  We went to Walmart first and bought some drinks for work.  I almost threw out my back moving them around.  I won't be doing that again.  It's just not worth it. 

I bought some things for me, tampons (I am going through a lot, this period is 10 days and counting), trash bags, drink mix, etc.  I also bought Biscuit - well, all the cats, a case of canned cat food. 

We went to work.  We had a nice ride with a driver who likes us.  I had bought a couple of burgers to go, so I could have something to eat today.  Note that. 

We got to work.  I diligently put my burgers in the fridge.  I got to work.  The machines looked terrible, so I stocked them. 

Actually an empty machine is a good thing for a vendor, it means you have cash in the box.  But it means you need to stock or you're going to have some pissed off customers. 

I stocked my end.  Ron told me what drinks he needed and I put them on the cart for him.  Then I just told him who was who, so he could stock it properly.  We carry, I believe, about 10 different canned sodas. 

We got work finished and I remembered to put my hamburgers in my bag.  We went out and waited.  The cold front hit Houston and I was actually a little chilly.  Apparently my menopause "cold" window is 60 degrees with a breeze.  Tonight, I'll take a coat. 

We got home pretty fast and I left my hamburgers in their bag, sitting on the floor.  I just found them a little while ago.  Agh.  I threw them out. 

I went to bed.  Unlike other nights, I slept pretty well in spite of #6's motion detector lights shining in my bedroom window.  Either I'm "tuning them out" or we didn't have any critters setting them off.   I would sleep a lot better if it only had a "large, human sized motion" setting and the guy used it. 

I woke up feeling pretty good for a change.  I took my shower and did my God Time, ate my protein bar and took my pills. 

Ron has been lying in bed all morning.  I can see where my family worries he isn't active enough. If it wasn't for work, he would just live in bed. 

He has the thermostat set pretty warm, but he's the one paying the bill.  I don't mind it warm but it's over 70.  Menopause me would rather have it lower. 

#6, ironically enough, has six children.  Usually they are very quiet but when they have a party all the rules are broken.  Tonight, 90% probability they will have a birthday party for their youngest, who is 2.  I keep a calendar of all the birthdays as I learn them, so I can make plans to escape the house when they do have a party.  They don't really break any laws, but they are really loud.  The parties tend to run from 7-midnight with the adults drinking. 

The kids know I will not allow them in my yard (more on that in a minute), but they bang on the door anyway, late at night, when they lose their soccer ball. I have told them they will have to wait until the next day and then I will throw it back, but I'm not going out into my yard in the middle of the night to find their balls - and I'm not allowing them into my yard either. 

They don't seem to get it. 

I don't allow them in my yard because when I did, I had large packs of screaming children roaming my yard for several minutes at a time, throwing the ball over the fence on purpose so they could come over, and small toddlers roaming my yard unsupervised.  I have a far bigger yard, about 3x the playspace vs #6's house.  I keep my tools out there.  It got to be too much, so I wrote #6 a letter saying "(listed all the bad behavior) for safety reasons, I cannot allow any children in my yard, my insurance forbids it".  They stopped, but they still bang on the door. 

It got bad enough I unplugged the doorbell, which drives delivery people nuts.  They still knock.  I ignore it, when I'm home, and I aim not to be. 

I told Ron #6 is, 90% going to have a party tonight.  We need to get out of the house.  I did when they had their October 24th and it was great.  I only came in at the end when he was yelling at all the kids to shut up, and picking up the yard.  Wonderful.  Everyone's happy. 

The next day, I found a ball in the yard and tossed it back.  Everyone wins. 

The kids got their ball, and their party.  I got peace and quiet (that time, I stayed late at the rehab hospital with Ron and then went to a 24 hour Walmart). 

Tonight, I want to go to work.  We can always find something to do and I can build some goodwill with the night shift customers.  I only ever have one problem with them, they are still complaining that "we" (actually our management) closed the deli.  The deli was cobbled together, not up to food safety code, and a big money loser.  It wasn't legal.  But it gave them hot foods at insanely cheap prices ($1.75 for a ham sandwich with veggies).  It closed 13 years ago.  Old timers are still complaining about that, especially on the night shift.  So I have to explain again, it only ever lost money.  But they don't care about that, they got what they wanted and they want it again. 

That will not happen.  USPS just spent over a million dollars upgrading the facility.  They did not build in a deli area for a reason.  No other facility in the nation serves hot food, because the operations lose money and no one's coming to work to lose money, no matter how much the Postal Workers want it. 

I had to deal with this last night.  "I want the deli again, it was so nice for me".  When we had it, all they did was complain about the wait, the prices, the staff, the food, etc.  Now that it's gone, they miss it. 

When they see me, they love to complain about it. 

They don't even buy the premade sandwiches we sell in the vending machines. And those are good, I've eaten them.  I'm very partial to the egg salad.   Half the time we end up throwing out a big part of the order. 

We need to increase our sandwich order, we were almost sold out last night.  Ron will take care of that Monday. 

I told Ron I wanted to go to work tonight to get a break from the party.  He said no, he wasn't going, he would just "get drunk and ignore them".  That's going to end badly.  He will either end up calling the police, complaining that the kids are kicking the ball into the fence (legally, they can), or he will stagger next door and say something, he shouldn't.   Worst case, he will try to go next door and fall. 

I don't want to be around to see it, so Ron arranged for Chuck to take me to work tonight.  Ron says he will stay at home and "enjoy" the party. 

Chuck will also pick me up and take me home later, when the party should be about done.  Even if I'm wrong and they don't have the party tonight, I can still get some work done. 

I just wish I knew a way to get the night shift to shut up about the deli once and for all. 

It's complaining about a store that closed 13 years ago.  It's DONE. 

Thursday, November 17, 2016

A lot about worms

Baby Girl has worms. 

I don't know what it is about this poor cat, but if anyone's got worms, it's her.  She's just prone to them. 

My other cats are not. 

We had scheduled a trip with Chuck to go to the pet store and buy her some medicine, that was our big plan for the day. 

First, though, I got up and took my shower, ran the fan in the bathroom, ran the dryer so I could finish the clothes, and did my God Time. 

Once I did that and got dressed I was ready to go.  I had a moderate headache.  I took some aspirin and hoped that would fix it, but it progressed and became a migraine in the late afternoon.  I kind of figured that out when I was hunched over my bucket, trying really hard not to vomit. 

We went to the store.  Sometimes the girls (cats) like a brand called "Simply Nourish" which also has a grain free salmon option.  I always get the Blue Wilderness grain free Salmon. 

I get the canned food at Walmart, it is cheaper and the exact same product I would buy at the pet store. 

I got 3 bags of Blue and called Ron about the "Nourish".  Did he want one bag, or two?  They had 3 bags on the shelf.  We agreed to buy 2 bags. 

I had 5 bags of cat food in my cart.  OK, now it's time to find the worm medicine.  I found one option, one. Tablets.  By Bayer.  $27 plus tax for three tablets. 

Tablets.  Would Baby Girl accept a tablet?  I was really hoping for a liquid.  I looked.  Nothing else. 

I read the label on the box - I do that.  It said I had better do a flea treatment as well or the worms would just come back.  OK.  I got a package of flea medicine - the "Enteropox" (I think I spelled it OK).

It was a three pack so I can get the whole gang all at once.  I haven't done Torbie and Biscuit yet, due to the migraine. 

 Sometimes, applying the systemic flea killer will aggravate a migraine, which is probably what happened today. 

I threw the stuff in my cart and paid up.  It wasn't cheap.  Happily Ron had given me some money. 

We ran by the Kolache Factory and I got a pumpkin pie kolache, and some cream cheese.  We got home, I dragged the cat food in the house and stored it.  I always have a couple bags in reserve, so I gave Ron the "old" cat food and put the "new" in my storage spot. 

I tried to give Baby Girl the tapeworm pill, to no avail.  She wasn't having it.  I gave up and gave her the flea medicine instead (which is probably what triggered the migraine instead of just a plain headache).  At least she won't have fleas.  Tomorrow or later, I will have Ron hold her down while I pill her, and hopefully she will swallow the pill. 

A lot of hope in there.  If she ever got really sick, and needed medication, I might just board her at the vet so they could be responsible for the medication.  I say that, but I said that about Torbie's foot operation this year and I didn't do it.  I just took her home, cone and all, and dosed her at home.  Happily I only had to give her a total of 3 pain pills. 

Since Doc didn't cut any bone, she recovered quickly. 

I ate a couple of kolaches and took my pills for the day.  That may have been a factor in my headache, too.  My antidepressant, bupropion, is notorious for causing headaches.  If I already have one you can imagine how it might be amplified. 

Many days, I have the hard decision when I wake up with a headache: do I take the antidepressant, knowing it will amplify the headache?  Or do I skip the antidepressant? 

I really try not to skip. 

I took a nap but the headache grew as I slept.  Torbie did get up into bed with me, and that was great.  I like rolling over and petting her.  She occupied pretty much the center of the bed.  I had plenty of room on the side. 

I got up and worked on the laundry for a while.  I almost vomited, but didn't.  I sucked on a wintergreen lifesaver and that seemed to help. 

I am upset I let myself run out of my sugarfree hard candy.  I like to hold a couple in my mouth when I go to bed.  I get such a dry mouth (lithium) and it helps keep things moist without drinking a bucket of water. 

I have some sugar free cough drops which will work in a pinch.  I am running to Walmart tomorrow, so I'll get some more of my preferred candy. 

I didn't vomit, but my head felt terrible.  I watched a little TV, too tired to even get online.  That seemed to help. 

Eventually the worst of the pain abated and I was able to get online.  I also worked on my laundry - I missed a grease spot on one of Ron's shirts and it's ruined now.  [bad word]  I think I will sew a button in the tag and let him know he can wear that for eating, or around the house, but to change it if he leaves the house. 

I will get him another shirt when we go to Walmart.  Happily he likes the 4 for $10 multipack pocket t-shirts. 

Tomorrow I need to check out my health insurance plan.  I had a pretty good plan, pay $234 every month, $6K deductible, but everything over that would be paid by the insurance company.  They got rid of that plan, though, and are introducing an HMO in it's stead.  They are also raising the price to $386.  It had better be an awfully good plan, that's all I have to say.  If not, I will have to hunt up another plan. 

I am hoping the election will influence the health insurance industry and make things more reasonable.  I heard somewhere that Trump does not want to get rid of "Affordable (Ha!) Care" so we'll have to see what happens. 

This is a lot worse than anything I had 10 years ago.  I had a pretty good plan with Blue Cross, $200 a month, very good plan.  Now adays I will probably either have a horrible deductible, large copays, or both. 

I really don't want one of those plans where I am on the hook for 25% of my entire health care cost.  I don't plan to be expensive but if I have a large bill I would rather just pay a deductible only. 

Of course God could come rapture us tomorrow and none of this will be important, but I have to sort this out.  $386 is nearly half my pay. 

Anyway, that's tomorrow. 

Biscuit came and sat on my foot, staring at me adoringly and rubbing against my ankle.  "What do you want?  Oh!" 

I gave him his can of Fancy Feast Gravy Lovers Salmon and he gobbled it up with Baby Girl at his side.  I serve it to them on an 8 inch foam plate so I can just throw it away when they're done.  Yes, it's bad for the environment, but the Bible says the universe is going to melt and burn anyway, so I'm OK with that. 

I do try to get the plates made in the USA, support local economies and stuff. 

That's it for now. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2016


Remember when I told you about my adoptive grandmother and her long time boyfriend?  How they both got very ill eating at a restaurant?  He developed kidney failure.  He decided not to do dialysis and died today.  I'm sure she is devastated. 

I didn't know this when I got up.  I went about my normal day, shower, run the fan in the bathroom, God Time, drink my Diet Mountain Dew, etc. 

Then I put the ink in the printer.  That was a little tricky but I did it.  I positioned the printer so it would print easily now.  It printed a test page.  Good, it's working. 

I got Ron.  For whatever reason he was very foggy and fatigued.  I didn't know this at the time.  He was very slow. 

We found a food handler permit course and I got out my debit card "I don't want your number out there" I told him.  He can give me the $7 or just buy me a hot chocolate when we go to Starbucks tomorrow. 

We began the course.  It was supposed to take 2 hours but it took longer than 4.  Ron kept asking the same question again and again and having a lot of trouble with the quizzes.  I would have to read the question several times, several ways.  I'd have.  To break.  It up.  Into little.  Bites.  I read the answers again and again. 

He just seemed confused and foggy today.  He wasn't drunk, he was out of vodka.  About this point Chuck came bearing a case of vodka.  Ron paid him and put the vodka in the garage.  Then back to work.  "What was that again?  I'm so tired." 

We went so long the connection timed out, and I had to relog in.  That was an exciting moment there, let me tell you. 

If we ever have to do something like this again, I'm going to make sure Ron is alert before we start.  It was exhausting, especially when I knew the answer and he kept wanting me to read him the question and answers. 

Some of it, the true and false, was easy.  Others were more complicated. 

Ron and I battled our way through the curricula, him yawning "What was that again?"  I had such a hard time with my patience.  I just wanted to yell at him. 

I was/am also scared to death this is the wave of the future: dementia.  Oh, that would be horrible. 

I'll have to watch him.  He also did a tremendous amount of complaining and yelling at God. 

"Ron" I told him "You make a good living at vending.  This is just the price you need to pay."  He shut up after that and we went back to our microorganisms. 

I didn't see why we had to do the facilities design section, we aren't building a restaurant, but I did find it interesting, no carpet in food prep or storage areas.  After that they wanted us to take a survey and tell them how we liked the course. 

We were exhausted.  We just wanted to take the test and be done with it.  We had been working for over 4 hours.  Finally, test time.  40 questions. 

Ron got 33 out of 40, for a passing score.  Thank God, time to print the certificate.  BISCUIT!  NO! 

I chased him away from the printer and printed up Ron's certificate.  I printed up 2 just to be careful.  The printer, of course, printed a test page "for print alignment" before it printed the forms but it did print them. 

Thank God, now we're done. 

I had waited on taking my Haldol (the way Ron was acting I had to wonder if he had taken it) and antidepressant, normally "morning" pills.  I won't do that next time, I don't think I needed to wait. 

I took them and tried to take a nap, but the antidepressant had me too alert for that.  I mainly just lay in bed for a while with Biscuit lying at my side (he forgave me for yelling at him).  I finally got up. 

I did the laundry, starting with a load of jeans.  Basically all my pants.  At the end of the cycle, it appeared to malfunction and I was left thinking what that meant that all of my pants were now hostage in the washer.  I don't think I'll do that again. 

I hope I can learn to trust this washer the way I trusted the old one. 

The jeans finished and I put them in the dryer.  I began loading underwear/socks/t-shirts into the washer.  Then I remembered I hadn't checked the pockets.  Ron has a bad habit of putting napkins in shirt pockets.  I took all the clothes out (good thing I use the detergent packs) and went through all the pockets.  Nothing.  Then I put them back in, arranging them carefully.  I added a little liquid detergent because the load was too large for one detergent pac, but not large enough, in my opinion, for two.  I started the washer. 

I can't really hear the washer because I have the jeans drying.  I pray/assume it is working.  Like I said, I have trust issues. 

That would be a heck of a thing if it held all my underwear hostage. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

We'll just take that as a win.

I woke up to a crampy bloodbath.  The cramps were the worst I've had in years. 

Yup.  Definitely premenopause.  4 days of spotting, then this, that "ain't" typical. 

Thank God I was wearing my heavy-duty tampon, anticipating something just like this, except with a lot less pain. 

Thank God I also had some generic aleve, I felt as though my uterus was being removed.  It was ghastly.  It reminded me of some of the cramps I had as a teenager. 

I got up for a drink of water (after my cleanup and medication) and encountered Ron in the kitchen drinking shots of vodka.  He later told me he "slept great" after he did that. 

Well, he didn't have a blackout.  We'll just take that as a win and leave the rest of the drinking alone.  He is using the shot glass.  He has some idea of portion control. 

We went back to bed and I fell asleep as the painkiller began working.  I slept in a little late, for me, and did my God Time later, after I got up from my nap. 

I took a b-vitamin.  I figured I could use the energy.  We had a long day. 

First, we had to get to work.  Our driver was late.  Then she was playing the "ignorant liberal morning talk show".  This show is the antithesis of the conservative talk I used to listen to as a teenager. 

That's right, I used to listen to conservative talk radio as a teenager.  I would call in some times, they loved it because of my age, plus we lived in CA and "no" teen was a conservative back then. 

Anyway, the schedule goes like this: 10 minutes of old soul classics; 5 minutes of the new miracle hair care product; 10 minutes of propaganda, fact distorting, mispronouncing simple words and using them out of context; commercial; back to an old soul classic; "interviews" - more propaganda; etc. 

It is exhausting and painful for me.  I'm not ignorant.  I get my own facts.  I'm not a liberal.  Yet I'm forced to listen to this crap.  She kept turning it up in fact, especially when they got to a story about how someone said something mean about the current First Lady. 

First of all, we are to respect our leaders.  The Bible is clear on that.  So on that, we agreed.  If the driver had asked me my opinion I would have said that and left it. 

Second, when you are a public figure people are going to judge you.  That happens to all celebrities.  People are vicious, that's what we do/are in this society.  It's not fair, or nice, but it's true. 

I shudder to think what they would say about me. 

Look at the show "What Not to Wear".  The whole first half was literally tearing the person down, then remaking them in the hosts' image. 

We tear people down in our society, we don't build them up.  That's just a fact of life in the End Times. 

Thirdly I would say public figures, and their supporters need to develop a thick skin.  I was bullied a lot: if you offer a passionate response you make it "fun".  If you react with apathy, or not at all, it isn't "fun". 

The driver also had on overpowering air freshener.  It smelled like 10,000 fake strawberries in there.  It gave me a headache, the one thing I didn't have this morning. 

I reminded myself a lot of the clients are lax on personal care, and she probably deals with a lot of unpleasant odors.  I just wish the company would have a policy banning the air fresheners.  They stink and they give me headaches. 

We finally got to work.  Ron and I erupted out of the car.  I got him into his wheelchair and into the building. 

We were busy for the next couple hours.  I did the "pull" - took money out of the machines, counted it privately, and set it up for the bank.  After work, we went to the bank and made the deposit (we couldn't, yesterday, because Chuck got sick).  Chuck met us after we finished and we went out to lunch at Arby's.  I love their fries. 

We ate and came home.  Ron made a meal of cheese sticks.  Agh.  His nutrition is enough to frustrate even the best dietician.  He did get a sandwich to go, he will eat it later. 

Vegetables?  Fruit?  Anyone?  Nope, not for Ron. 

Yet he is surprisingly healthy, considering. 

We came home and I took a nap.  I slept pretty well, no more pain and my "flow" is more reasonable now. 

I guess my uterus didn't like last night's blog post. 

I did my God Time and organized the computer room a little bit.  I need to take out the trash pretty soon.  I'm debating if I want to do it tomorrow. 

Tomorrow I need to load ink into my printer, log onto a food safety website, and help Ron (I will be the screen reader) get his food safety permit.  He needs to do it as a substitution for missing the conference last month.  There's no way he could have done that! 

Hopefully next year, if we haven't been raptured, Ron will be able to attend this time. 

We need to do that, though, we're on a deadline.  I just pray everything works.  The printer is pretty odd, it likes to do print alignments in the middle of the print job and it uses up a lot of ink.  I got extra printer ink just in case but I'm just dreading it. 

I hope it's a lot easier than I think it will be.  I tend to go to worst-case scenarios, even medicated. 

Speaking of, I think I will "hold" my medication until I get this thing done.  The Haldol can make me a little dim.  It can wait a couple hours. 

Don't try this at home. 

So, that's it for tonight.  I'll be sure to let you know how the great food safety certification and certificate printing worked out. 

Scattered Shower

I didn't sleep well.  I was happy, though, when I kicked my foot out, only to end up in fur.  Torbie had joined me in the bed for a cudd...