Showing posts from December, 2016

"Don't you want to die?"

What a year end. 

Ron cancelled my trip to Walmart.  Apparently, he's above going.  "Take a cab" he said.  One, we aren't made of money, and a cab ride is $20 one way.  Second, while cabs are quite happy to take a person to Walmart, they won't pick you up again.  Remember that one time I waited two and a half hours before I called Chuck? 

So, Ron said, call Chuck to pick me up.  And hope, I guess, he doesn't have a health problem.  Ron's answer to that "Don't you want to die?"

No, I told him, I don't, and WE certainly don't need me with a pair of broken legs, either.  I told him after everything I've done for him, it's the least he could do, get me a guaranteed ride to and from Walmart. 

Why do I need to go?  To get CAT LITTER of all things.  Ron apparently doesn't care if the cats crap all over the house. 

I know why he won't help.  He wants to stay home and drink. 

We had an argument about it.  I figure the lea…

Happy Face

Yesterday I got up at about 2:30 AM and got ready for work.  We had a soda delivery inbound. 

People always want to know when the delivery arrived.  In my mind, that doesn't matter.  It arrived before we had to leave, that's all that matters. 

I did my stocking and helped Ron with his.  The bottled vendor was acting up but hopefully I fixed it.  The fix involves 409 and a switch on the cup assembly.  It was working when I left, that's all I can say. 

Ron said he would give me the money he would have spent on a repair, if it's still working on Tuesday.  We'll see. 

I also did sandwiches.  We had a very slow month for sandwiches.  I'm glad Ron finally cut the order in half. 

The other vendor's wife wanted to know how I was feeling, she gets sinus infections herself.  I told her I thought of her when I had it, how much it must suck to get them so often.  She agreed. 

We left and came home after doing everything. 

I took a nap.  We got up.  Ron wanted to…

"I didn't believe in God back then"

I slept a little better last night, but I coughed up a lot of green crud in the shower this morning.  I definitely had a sinus infection, but it's on the way out. 

I took my pill and we went to the bank, after I took my shower and did my God Time.  It took a while at the bank. 

After the bank, we went out to our favorite taqueria.  Chuck doesn't like Mexican food, but he got some grilled shrimp.  I got a quesadilla "for here" and one for tomorrow.  They store pretty well.  Ron got two burritos, one to eat there and one for later. 

Tomorrow's going to be a long day so I want something easy to eat when I get home.  I also need to make up some sandwiches for Ron. 

We had a pretty good lunch.  Chuck made some comments about the phone call last week, in a joking manner, but still awk-ward for me.  At least Ron told Chuck, during the infamous phone call, that I was yelling at (Ron) to shut up. 

Ron started talking his old psychobabble stuff.  He attended some psyc…

Working when sick

I just talked to #2's landlady.  She wants to have her guy trim the hedge between the houses.  OK, I'm fine with that.  I just hope they leave enough that I have some privacy left in the front room. 

However, I have to figure the yard guy is not going to cut the hedge down to the ground.  He's a yard guy and he will make it look better without butchering it.  He does this for a living. 

She also said something about the leaves in the yard.  We've gotten a lot of leaf fall the last couple days.  She wants to have the yard guy clean that up. 

Of course I said yes.  1.  I want to stay on her good side - she would make a bad enemy and 2.  It's free yard work. 

She's pretty desperate to get the place rented.  I wonder if she found more rat poop inside the house, or whether the man got rid of it before he left.  I didn't mention it to her, because she'd have pointed that anger at me. 

But I wouldn't want my cat in there, much less my husband or child…

"I'll never drink before noon"

I slept OK and woke up coughing.  I am really sick of sinus drainage, but God knows I want it.  No drainage = infection and excruciating pain.  I took my sinus pill and went back to sleep. 

When I woke up, a little later, Ron was drinking in the kitchen.  I remember once he told me "I will never drink before noon.  If I ever do that, I'll know I'm an alcoholic."  But he's "forgotten" that and I'm through fighting with him over alcohol. 

I ate a protein bar, took my morning medication, took my shower, and did my God Time.  I tried to take a nap but it didn't work out.  Ron was playing something on his talking book machine I will term "inappropriate".  He was asleep.  I turned it off. He woke up and turned it on again.  I asked him to turn it off, but he was too drunk to figure out what I wanted.  He kept looking for the "remote" in his fanny pack.  I finally just turned it off myself and this time it stayed off. 

I watched …

Merry Christmas!

Ron woke up around 9, triumphantly gloating the neighbors hadn't had a party. 

I was in bed, listening to screaming, yelling, and intermittent thumps from next door.  "They ARE having a party!" 

"Well, I don't hear it" (drunk, with his headphones on and his hearing loss).  Well, good for you.  I sure did. 

I just hope they don't have another one tonight like they did last year.  Although, last year, they had some kind of home church/party on the 24th, and then a straight party on the 25th.  However, I'm sure a lot of people have to work tomorrow so I'm hoping they don't have a party. 

Anyway, here's to hoping I get some good quiet sleep. 

I am feeling "better" in some regards, yet still crappy in others.  The good news, everything is draining.  Bad news, it makes me cough. 

Cough suppressants can make me jittery, so I want to avoid them at night. 

I got up and did my God Time.  Still haven't taken a shower yet.  It&#…

If I wanted to punish you, I'd hide your vodka bottle

I woke up around 1 AM with throbbing pain on the left side of my face.  Funny, normally I have right-sided pain. 

This will require some explanation.  When I was 12, 4 teeth were removed under a local.  From a bipolar child.  You can imagine how that went.  Well, the doctor broke a root and left a fragment in my upper right jaw. 

When I went for my wisdom teeth removal at age 19, the doctor found a "mass" in my jaw, where I had the tooth removed.  Great.  They had to cut open my jaw, in addition to pulling 4 teeth (they used a drill and chipped away at the bone, I can still feel it in my jaw) - all in all, a hellish procedure.  It affected my right frontal sinus cavity, so when I have trouble it's always there. 

I was fairly surprised to have left side pain.  I had to get up, take a washcloth, wet it, and microwave it, then holding it to my face for a period of time until it cooled.  Then repeat.  I also applied some topical tea tree oil. 

I drank a lot of water, and…

Slow year

I woke up feeling a little better.  I had slept better and the drilling pain in my frontal sinus cavity was gone.  So was the earache. 

Maybe I could work today.  Ron had texted me a horrifying list of drinks he needed to fill the machines.  I'd have to pick all them up, put them on the cart, get them through checkout, (cart attendants help load the truck so I'm free on that), cue joke about "keeping" cart attendant to help at work (we both laughed, I think, seriously, if I did try to steal him he would come), then I have to unload the truck with Ron's help (yes, I abuse the poor cripple with the bad back), put everything on the carts, push the carts in, fill the fridge, etc. 

I wasn't looking forward to any of it.  I took a pepto tablet with my morning meds, apparently the mucus pill is a little irritating.  As evidenced by yesterday's vomiting episodes.  I took the mucus pill, my headache prevention tablet, and my antidepressants. Bare bones. 

I ate …

"She'll be better by then!"

Today I graduated to a sinus infection, and vomiting. 

I woke up feeling awful.  I have been sloppy about handwashing lately, partly because I don't think my "new" wedding ring can tolerate the soap, partly just lazy.  I blame this illness on lack of handwashing, improper diet, and stress. 

Which is kind of like kicking myself when I'm down.  "You feel terrible and it's all your fault!" 

Sadly, I have a pretty long history of Christmas illnesses.  I always seemed to catch the latest flu around Christmas every year, as a child.  I got a bladder infection last year, and another sinus infection back in 2012. 

I got up, showered, and took my 12 hour mucus pill, let that settle, ate a protein bar, and took my morning meds.  I watched Supernatural for a while.  TNT has the "new" season, which I haven't seen.  I made a raspberry lemonade with extra vitamin C.  I watched two episodes and then realized my stomach was upset. 

I knew I was in tr…

The same thing

Well, I can smell again.  I'm calling that a win. 

I slept pretty fitfully last night, waking up every hour or two, but I did get some rest.  I have great faith in my 12 hour mucus pills. 

I'm also wanting to snack, which is really encouraging.  It means I'm getting hungry, which means I'm getting better. 

Ron made (scheduled) two trips to Sam's club today.  Apparently the first one was going to be so awful, Ron cancelled it, woke me up, and told me to reset my alarm. 

"I don't mind" I told him "When you wake me up for that." 

I asked Ron if he recalled the phone call.  He said no, he didn't.  I kind of figured.  I gave him a very brief summation and he said it was "all true".  So, I guess he won't be apologizing. 

It's one thing if someone has proven unreliable, you learn not to trust them; it's another thing entirely to mock someone with a medical condition and call them "weak".  To my mind, you ju…

"Rest up and recover"

I wasn't too happy when I had to get up at 6 AM today.  I didn't sleep well, I kept waking up congested, or sneezing, just miserable. 

I think, when I'm really sick, I'm too affected to really "suffer" (I've said this before).  "Half" sick, like my cold, is just enough to experience the misery without the relief of the exhaustion I get when I'm truly ill.  So, it's worse for me to have a cold, than a flu. 

It feels worse, at least. It's my blog, I'll whine a little. 

I have no appetite and have to force myself to eat.  Especially when I'm taking my medication. 

So, I got up and took my shower.  I stuck my morning medication in a baggie and stuck the baggie in my pocket.  Let's hope I never get searched!  Lots of pretty pills! 

"Really, officer, I'm crazy!" 

We went to Walmart.  Ron kept saying my Depakote and lithium were $30-some dollars.  I didn't believe him.  The last time I bought Depakote, it…

The season that defines regifting

I slept better last night, once I put the heated mattress pad on the bed.  I also dug out my vaporizer and turned it on. 

I slept in with Biscuit, got up and fed him, did my grooming, and got dressed.  We went to work. 

Work was pretty standard.  We gave the sandwich delivery guy his Christmas present, and got a pie in return.  Ron and I won't eat a whole pie, so we regifted it to one of our drivers.  Ah, Christmas.  The season that defines "regifting". 

I did my work and helped Ron, then we left. 

I felt pretty lousy with my head cold, and was looking forward to going to Walmart and getting some new 12-hour mucus pills.  See, the stuff with the cough suppressant in it made me really jittery.  I really need the 12 hour plain mucus relief pill. 

Ron arranged with Chuck to meet us at a fast food location, then go to Walmart.  Chuck has had some medical problems, and they've prevented him from driving for us on one occasion. 

He saw his doctor this morning, in fac…

Sick, so 2 days in one

I'm battling a bad cold.  I'm so glad I can't give it to you. 

I was fine yesterday morning.  I forget how I slept but I've been waking up with cold feet.  Maybe that was a factor in my cold. 

Actually, I think my trip to Walmart on Friday had everything to do with the head cold. 

Anyway, I got up and went to the warehouse.  We met "Gary", a driver with a pickup truck.  He has a toolbox in the truck bed that takes up the width, by two feet, but we managed to cram a surprising amount of merchandise into the remaining area. 

We got to work and I got the carts.  Gary had unloaded most of the merchandise.  Looking good!  I got the carts loaded and we went to work.  Work was pretty uneventful except for the sandwiches.  We had 5 sandwiches expire and I had to throw them out. 

After work, we went home and I took a nap.  I woke up feeling fairly poorly.  We went to Arby's and got something to eat, then came home. 

I didn't sleep well last night, conges…

"Get me a wooden handle"

I'm still figuring out the new blogger forum. 

I slept OK, but developed a gradually worsening headache.  We had rain today, I think that did it.  I ended up getting up at 5 (alarm was 7) to take some Excedrin.  Biscuit got so excited to see me awake, I went ahead and fed him.  He was thrilled. 

I went back to bed, and Biscuit joined me after a little while.  I didn't really sleep but I rested some, getting rid of the headache (most of it).  I thought about various things. 

The kitchen drain has been slow, I realized, so I thought I needed to run the garbage disposal and use some drain cleaner.  I didn't want Ron flooding the kitchen floor.  He does something with the faucet where he runs it for a while, when he's drinking.  I haven't really watched.  He's paying the water bill, after all. 

I finally got up and took my shower.  Biscuit eagerly begged for his breakfast.  I kept telling him he'd already had it, the greedy beast.  I did some of my God Time…

Two days in one, again.

I knew yesterday would be a long day, and I was right. 

I got up a little before 7, took my shower, did my God time, etc.  I got Ron presentable.  My aunt got caught in traffic and was a little late. 

We had a long ride across town to see Doc, but he's worth it.  We got there 10 minutes before the appointment time. 

Ron was unusually carsick.  Normally he is fine.  It wasn't my aunt's driving, she's very good.  He just got carsick.  My aunt went to get him some medication while Ron and I went in to see Doc. 

A lady walked in with a large, "Edible Arrangement" of fruit.  I thought she was a happy client.  No, turns out she was a drug company representative.  Doc seemed more annoyed than anything. 

We agree, the older stuff is better anyway. 

I saw Doc, he was impressed I was able to take care of the business, myself, and Ron, after Ron's surgery.  We agreed to keep on the same medication schedule. 

I left, after scheduling my next appointment for Ap…

Peanuts have protein

I get some very angry comments sometimes.  I have to wonder why they keep reading me if I get them so angry, but it's not my business.  My faith, I think, is the best part of me.  I delete comments I find "strong" for lack of a better phrase, and rarely the "overly personal" or "personal details I don't want shared" sort of post. 

I will admit I got angry at another blog.  Someone friended me on Facebook, and her only post every day was putting up the Matt Walsh blog and saying  "Me too" and "What he said".  I don't have a problem with Matt Walsh, but I didn't like his blog shoved in my face every day.  I appreciate independent thought, even if it's badly written. 

No wonder I keep writing. 

Ron was shocked I went to bed "so early" last night, but I got enough sleep and woke up on time.  I stayed in bed for half an hour with Biscuit, got up and fed him, took my shower (in that order). 

I did half my Go…

Everyone wants the puppies

Pretty tired.  I need to start posting before I take my evening pills, not after.  The "after" tends to be a lot of groggy. 

Got up, shower, went to work.  Did my God Time later but I did it. 

We had limited inventory.  I stocked what I could and made it look good.  The boss came by to give Ron his review, which was excellent.  We talked for a little bit before he left. 

We left, and saw him on the way out.  I waved with one hand as I pushed Ron's wheelchair with the other.  Ron is "trying" to walk more which is good for building up his bones.  I do worry about his bones. 

We went home, I took a nap. 

I forgot to mention, #6 had another party last night.  They stopped around 8, I guess it being a school night/work night and all.  The kids were really loud kicking a soccer ball IN the bouncy house.  At least they don't play loud music anymore. 

I didn't really get enough sleep on account of that, so I really needed my nap.  I finally got it and had…


I didn't sleep well, started my period, and woke up with a headache.  Not the best start to my day. 

It got better.  I did take my shower and do my God time.  I got some nice cuddles from the cats. 

Our ride was late.  

He said he had another pickup before we went to the warehouse.  Fine.  I've got no problem with that.  He wasn't wearing cologne and his air freshener was pretty mild, so it didn't aggravate my headache. 

We drove about 20 miles out of the way, the "wrong" way for our destination, to go pick this lady up.  The driver couldn't find the apartment building.  I don't know how it works where you live, but in Houston, most apartments are broken up into small buildings of 8-10 units, two stories, several to several dozen buildings in the complex.  That way, if one has a problem, it's not a total loss to the company. 

The driver couldn't find "Building C".  He called dispatch and asked them to do a callout and ask for di…

Two days at once

Thursday night I went to bed at 6.  I had to wake up at 1:45 in the morning and I was worried I wouldn't get enough sleep.  I "never" fall asleep before 8 and I generally don't sleep well. 

But I fell asleep fast and slept very well, considering.  I even woke up a little before the alarm, feeling pretty energized.  Am I getting manic?  Possibly.  That was the only thing I could figure. 

We got up and went to work.  Our ride was on time.  We got there in a timely manner and she was a nice driver. 

I got Ron in the building and turned on the lights on his wheelchair.  We got to work.  Snacks looked pretty bad and needed a lot of work.  By "bad" I mean "empty and need stocking".  That is actually good, because it means we are making sales.  Sales = paid bills. 

We stocked for hours, got our delivery (a new guy, but he followed directions and we didn't have any problems), put it away, did some troubleshooting, stocked some more, mashed up all …

Patron saint

I couldn't believe it.  My nephew had posted an image of my birth mother on Facebook, talking about how "I didn't see her much, but she was wonderful". 


Another (apparent) family member insisted: "I admired [name] when we were first married. Then I grew up and realized the pain in her heart and I cried for her. I wanted so much to spend time with her."

What the?  At first I was angry, this is the woman who maimed me for life with her prenatal drinking.  This is the woman who, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, refused to take her medication.  This is the woman who literally smoked herself to death.  The woman found dead with a large bottle of vodka on the nightstand. 

For me, she maimed me, massively neglected me, ran off when she was caught neglecting me, denied custody by the courts but given full visitation, every time I learned to trust her she ran off again, and everyone acted like she was the victim. 

What about me?  What about the collateral dam…