Saturday

 So here's something to think about: modest apparel in women.  No, I am not going to weigh in against "sluts" as I feel they all generally have insecurity issues that encourage them to expose a lot of flesh.   I will leave that up to each individual woman.  

This may surprise you but I wish my stepmother had not let me wear some of the clothes I had.  She would pass down my stepsister's old unwanted clothes to me and some of them were just WRONG.  I remember one miniskirt in particular, Ron really liked that one.  But for whatever reason my stepmother did not go shopping with me for clothes.  I don't think I was very picky and I've always loved a bargain?  Oh, well.  Ron was shocked I had so few clothes when I moved out.  

Living on my own I played around a little but I had to work and earn a living and back then you had to wear modest clothes to work.  Again, I wish someone had told me I really wasn't a size 10/12 in the early 90's because I know now they were way too tight and NOT a good look.  

I think it goes to how a woman sees her body.  If she sees it as an asset to be showcased she is going to look much different than a woman who sees her body as a gift from God.  

Anyway, the subject came up a couple different places.  As far as I'm concerned 2 people get to see my breasts, 3 actually, me, Ron, and my doctor.  That's it.  That has led me to buy a lot of men's tshirts for work but I don't regret that.  Oddly enough they have a lot of men's clothes in the "pretty" colors these days.  

I slept OK last night, started my cycle, it is unpredictable to say the least these days.  But I didn't make a mess so I'm happy about that.  

I took care of Ron, cleaned the house (some of it), sorted laundry to do later.  I didn't need a nap, which was nice.  

We will be doing the Halloween handout as usual, I am curious to see how many kids show up.  I think I'll get a lot, it is a Saturday.  I am ready either way.  

That means I won't get much sleep tonight, go to bed late and get up early for Pill Time, but I won't complain.  I am just glad we have something that works on the seizures.  And the high blood pressure which took me COMPLETELY aback.  That was the last thing I expected.  Him, never.  Me, maybe.  But to see those numbers on the vital signs for so long really drove it in to me, and, thinking back, I am sure his mother had high blood pressure in addition to her other problems.  

Tomorrow I will also prepare and file the monthly report.  It shouldn't be too hard, I have been doing these for a while now.  I need to figure out dinner for me, Ron already had a grilled cheese (I did but that was hours ago, I have a better metabolism than he does). 

That's it for now, I'll let you know how many kids show up.  

Some of Thursday and Friday

 Well, I'm getting better, ate and took my pills.  Ron was really a star in all this he did a great job taking care of himself.  That's a big load off me, I could just focus on getting better.  

I am still pretty weak but I should be OK for work tomorrow.     

Tomorrow: Pretty groggy and tired, woke up with a headache.  I managed to beat it off, went to work, stocked what I could.  Sales were good enough I got paid, I went to the bank and then to Walmart.  

I got everything on the list and even a few things I was running low on and thought I couldn't afford to replace right now.  I did forget the kitchen trash bags but I should be OK another week or so.  

I called Arturo to come home first (more expensive) but he was busy so I took a Uber.  The driver was very helpful with the bags.  I had some energy when I got home, so I: immediately washed my hands, put everything away, took off my clothes, and took a shower.  I will wash the clothes tomorrow most likely.  But that's a good protocol for a pandemic and at risk elderly in the house.  

Ron was happy I brought him some chicken strips, which he had requested several times.  I even found his panino.  He really enjoys a bite of one at pill time, and they are loaded with protein.  

He has been fine listening to his radio all day.  I have gotten in the habit of leaving him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I leave the house, so he has an additional snack if he gets hungry.  He ate most of his, today, before I got back to him with the chicken.  

I made my deposit so I can pay my credit card.  I really think things could get ugly next week so I plan to stay home.  Now I can.  

I am not super hungry today, Ron kept nagging me to get myself a little treat at Walmart so I got a 3 ounce package of smoked salmon and ate that after I put everything away.  But that has pretty much been it except for a one ounce bag of chips.  

I plan to have a peanut (Wowbutter which is a soy product and nut-free) butter and jelly sandwich for dinner.  I also got some rye as I thought some tuna on rye sounded tasty.  I am very careful not eating peanut butter as it is a huge migraine trigger, but I will probably make my sandwich first and then his.  I keep his in the fridge until he has eaten up the first one.  It is working for us.  I like we can leave it out (in a ziploc) for hours and it is fine.  You can't really do that with a meat based sandwich.  

That's it for now.  

I am never eating curry again

 Yesterday I got up, took care of me (God Time, shower) took care of Ron, etc.   I decided to make some curried lentils and got out my "new" curry I had bought some time ago and never used.  I made them, they weren't bad.  I took a nap and woke up with a raging migraine that just kept getting worse and worse.  

[Not for squeamish] I did vomit up most of the curry.  About midnight found me vomiting bile into a bucket.  It was pretty awful and the taste would just trigger me to vomit again.  I think I used all my ab muscles.  I made a mess in the bathroom and SO glad I had all those extra towels "for Ron" 😂  And the unscented cleaner spray he likes.  It sure did the job and I didn't have any chemical smells to aggravate the migraine.  I kept tasting curry as I "went" and it was horrible, but pretty good aversion therapy.  

I believe the curry had sulfites, but a friend, and one of my nephews, claim it is tomatoes.  I didn't have tomatoes in my curry but I am not a huge tomato fan, easy enough to say goodbye to them.  I will eliminate any possible migraine trigger if it means I don't have to go through that again.  Over 12 hours of excruciating pain, nausea, and vomiting.  If you have ever vomited with a migraine (or hangover I guess, I have never had one) you know what I'm talking about.  

Ron didn't ask me for anything while I was sick, which was nice.  He did need various things once I was better so I was glad I wasn't out for long.  Happily that is how I get sick, short and intense, quick recovery.  

I did have some phenergan suppositories and I used one, that helped with the vomiting and helped me sleep.  Ron got his pills on time both times.  I still have a decent amount of Phenergan on hand.  

But I am feeling a little better.  

I almost had a major panic attack today

 I got up, took care of Ron, went back to sleep.  I got up a few hours later.  I had taken my shower last night so I didn't need one this morning.  

I took care of Ron again, checked on the cats (fed them last night), got dressed.  I had planned to ride the bus to a stop near one of my Walmarts, disembark, walk alongside a busy road (I assumed there would be footing), and save some money on my Walmart trip.  

It went very well, even finding out there is a homeless camp in the bushes near the bus stop (not by my house, where I got off).  There's a drug store on the corner.  As I approached the busy road I froze up.  There is no way I could walk on the narrow footpath with all those cars whizzing past.  

I do not often feel I have PTSD but I locked up and was well on my way to a full blown panic attack at just the thought of walking next to this road.  I thought about it for a minute and decided to show myself some compassion.  

And I'm sorry Joe, but I did it.  I made the short trip all the drivers hate.  But the guy who came was super nice and friendly.  He didn't act like he minded a bit at having to drive miles out of his way for a short trip that probably only got him $2.  Well, I gave him a good tip but he didn't know that when he accepted the trip.  I made the trip from the drug store to the Walmart.  It was not long but it was safe and I didn't traumatize myself.  

There are things I can't do.  I have limits, hard as it is to accept.  This is one; I have difficulty walking by busy roads.  I kept seeing Ron in the ICU with his head stapled back together.  

So I went in, I didn't have much money but I was able to get our favorite bread ($2), peanut butter, jelly, a goober for Ron (peanut butter mixed with jelly already, all you do is spread on the bread), some home care things (main reason aside from the bread), and some pillow forms for the pillow covers my adoptive Mom sent me.  That's the nice thing about the wish list, I always get what I want.  And I had plenty of items on the list so I would be surprised.  

Then I came home, put it all away, took care of Ron some more, and took a nap.  I had a good nap and woke up to find Torbie sleeping in my sock drawer.  I don't have drawer pulls on a lot of my dresser drawers so I usually leave them open.  She likes to sleep in them and I'm OK with that.  The average cat grooms 4 hours a day.  My longest shower takes maybe 20 minutes.  

Then I cleaned up the pullout couch and fixed it up with the new pillows.  It is very cute.  I plan to mix some more pillows on both couches, I like a lot of pillows on my seating.  And in my bed.  

I took a style quiz and I came up Sporty/Romantic which means I can wear a tank top with a peasant skirt and sandals, or a billowy romantic blouse and jeans.  You get the idea.  I could probably live in the sporting apparel section of a clothing store.  Anyway, one point made was that a "Romantic" woman always has a ton of pillows, and I am GUILTY!  I would like to get a lot of pillowcases in the same color so it's all coherent.  No one cares if Ron has a gray pillowcase with a brown fitted sheet and a teal blanket, after all he is blind.  But I sleep with 4 pillows on a good day and I would like them to be the same color.  The bedroom is cream with dark purple floor length curtains so black, cream, etc.  I am leaning towards black.  They have some multi packs pretty cheap on Amazon so I wish listed one - if I don't get it for Christmas I can always buy it myself later.  This is not an urgent matter by any means.  Just something to think about.  

I had some good cuddles with the cats, although Biscuit was watch cat this morning.  I was in the front room and I heard Biscuit growling, and then he ran down the hall and hid under my bed.  For once, I was dressed.  I opened the door and there's the yard guy!  No wonder Biscuit ran!  After they left I stuck my head under the bed and told Biscuit he could come out, and he did.  Then I gave him some treats.  His special, $9 a bag, treats.  

I love spoiling him he makes it a lot of fun.  Cleo got some cuddles today, too.  Her love language seems to be shoving her butt in my face as I sit on the couch, I find it adorable, and she is always very clean (unlike Biscuit!).  He is lucky he lives with me anyone else would be scrubbing him every time he turned around.  

About the only bad news for Ron they did not have his Panino at the store so he only has a little left, but I can give him something else when he takes his pills, a little slider maybe.  I DID get the delicious pepper turkey we both like so much.  I may roll that up and shove it at Ron during pill time.  He loves that.  

I have planned for some upheaval after the election.  My plan is to stay at home for a few days/week until it settles out.  To that end I have also looked at, could we lose power?  It is possible if rioting gets bad.  So I don't have a tremendous amount of perishables, a good amount of canned food, etc.  But I am not near any busy roads, as I call it, so we should be fine.  I am just careful.  

My only big plan for the night is to hunt around and see if I can find Ron's lidocaine cream.  He had the bottle last night and lost it somewhere, but he's in bed only so it can't have gone far.  I just need to locate it and verify Ron has a good place for it now.  

The utility district is tearing up the sidewalk by the mail boxes not sure how long that is going to take or even if I still have water.  I do feel they are pretty good at maintaining things.  

I am planning to have hot dogs for dinner.  

Monday

 I forget how I slept last night, got up at 4:45, gave Ron his pills (I do blood pressure and seizure in the morning, multivitamin and seizure in the evening), went back to bed for a little bit.  I believe I had a horrible nightmare.  I got up and took care of everything.  I made Ron a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat if he got hungry and didn't want the other 3 things he has on his bookcase😂.  I can't do peanut butter but I have soy butter for me which is about as good, and no headache.  Ron gets crunchy peanut butter.  

I had it in the cupboard, unopened, when the mouse got in and I used that jar to bait the traps.  I was careful to put it on a disposable spork, and throw the spork away, but it baited a mouse trap.  So I put it under the sink and bought another jar for Ron.  He is eating the fresh, mouse-free peanut butter.  He enjoys the sandwiches and they are easy enough to make.  I just have to remember not to lick the little bits of peanut butter off my hands if I get some when I'm working.  

I went to work, sales were dead.  Let's draw that out... deaaad.  So pitiful I didn't even take the money out.  I did stock canned and bottled soda, which I had mainly come in to do.  People asked about Ron, which I found sweet.  

I left after I did everything and came straight home, Ron was snoring away.  My return-home routine is interesting.  I had a bottle of soda in my hand.  So I went to the sink and washed it, and my hands.  I wrapped my cell phone in a disinfecting wipe.  I took off my clothes.  I checked on Ron, he was fine snoring away.  Ideally I would have taken a shower.  

I took a nap for a little bit then got up and talked to Ron, helped him find a urinal he knocked off the bookcase (happily an empty one).  I made some iced tea for myself, I used some spice teabags and some plain tea.  It is nicely spicy.  

I took a walk for about half an hour, my foot is doing much better.  I wore some of my new sneakers for the walk.  I did some stretching after, I find it helpful to stretch out my shoulder periodically.  I am on the computer a lot and I have a stocking job, so I am always using my shoulders.  It is easy enough to pamper them with some stretching.  

Ron's occupational therapist gave me a book of exercises for upper body.  It has a whole section on shoulders so I try to hit that a few times a week.  And I have my stretching book; between them I think I am doing alright.  

And I got some of my goals for the day so I am happy.  I need to give Ron his medication in about an hour and then I will check the mail.  I am not expecting anything fun today but you never know.  

Nope, my mate tea is still off in BFE somewhere.  However I do have a nice assortment of fun teas to hold me for a while.  I can't say enough about my little electric kettle it is so nice.  I just fill it up, plug it in, boiling water in a few minutes.  I will buy a backup when business improves because I would hate to be without it.  

I descale it now and then as I have hard water.  I am not interested in a water treatment system, in my eyes another fragile thing to break and mess up my life.  So, when the heater coil looks a little crusty, I put some water and vinegar in to the fill line and get it to boiling, then turn it off and let it sit an hour, pour it off.  I fill it again with plain water, boil, let it sit until cool, pour it off.  Now it is ready to go.  

After my walk I did my God Time, took care of Ron, etc.  I was having a battle with the cats they wouldn't eat the last of the food in their bowls.  But they did today!  I don't have money to waste.  

I had nice cuddles from Spotty, Biscuit, and Cleo.  Baby Girl sat up for me a few times and got treats.  Torbie was hanging out with Ron - she was watching me and Cleo but I couldn't judge her expression.  She didn't look upset, though.  When she does go she knows Cleo will take care of me.  

I heard Ron gagging when I was in the shower and I jumped out and ran to him, he was fine.  He said I am (hypervigilant) and I need to "calm down".  I explained that is a feature of PTSD.  However my doctor doesn't seem worried, AND I tell him everything.  With my life how could I NOT have PTSD?  But I am doing healthy things like cutting back on caffeine and diet soda, exercising in various ways, getting enough rest.  

The menopause supplements are really helping.  Wild Yam.  Dong Quai.  I get them from Swanson and I kid you not they are less than $10 for both, a month.  And Swanson has flat rate shipping and great prices so really easy to throw in some nice tea, a bar of hand crafted soap, etc.  It works and no side effects.  I will keep taking them.  

I did mention I was skipping cycles to Doc when we talked.  He didn't seem surprised but I am middle aged.  HOWEVER with what I read in the menopause group you can see some pretty extreme emotional disturbance.  I am glad I haven't had any of that.  

Overall I think I am doing pretty good.  

Saturday and some of Sunday

 I had a nice little mania going for a while and BAM there's the depression.  SO SO GLAD I already did up the candy.  

Some might say the depression was a chess move in spiritual warfare, I got my tools ready for evangelism and the devil countered with depression.  Some would say, as Ron puts it, "Just a brain fart".  I think a little of both.  

So yesterday was pretty unremarkable.  I did find Baby Girl had a small cut which I dosed with my cat remedies (silver sulfa cream and some blue liquid, not in that order, I think the blue stuff is clorhexa-something).  She has been very obedient and patient about me applying it.  And I always give her treats, after.  She is very treat motivated.  

Cleo has been very cute getting up on the couch next to me and shoving her little butt in my face.  If I had a $5 for every view of her privates I could pay off my credit card.  I tell her they (privates) are very pretty and give her a little pat on the butt.  She can be a little shy about me touching her face/head but loves butt scratches.  

Torbie has been sleeping with me, the boys (Spotty and Biscuit) have been cuddly too.  I think they know I could use a boost.  

About the only other notable cat thing I have been giving Biscuit his special urinary treats.  He really enjoys them and gets to participate with the others.  

Ron has been OK.  He was a little irritable this morning when I asked him if he needed anything.  I cooked some sloppy joes today before my shower.  I don't like to walk around with my hair smelling like food.  I take things more personally when I am depressed so I am working on not being so sensitive and reacting.  

I can't control him, but I can control my reaction.  So I will ignore him until he needs something.  

Most of my goodie box (for some reason they broke it into 3 boxes) arrived.  I got lots of fun tea, some soap, supplements, and a tea ball.  I am already seeing good results from the boswellia and curcurmin (take that, spell check!).  I did have a problem, for me it is energizing.  I didn't know that until I took it last night.  I will take it AM from now on.  So that helps I get energy and help with joints.  And it was very reasonable (from Swanson).  I really like Swanson products.  

And boy, their tea was FRESH I took a couple of tea bags out of their wrappers and I could smell them in the other room.  So very happy with Swanson.  

Lucky vitamin makes that unscented toilet bowl cleaner and that is fantastic, gets everything sparkling and has, literally, no fragrance so Ron is happy too.  It is a lot more expensive than Clorox but worth it to me.  So, happy with them too.  But I think Swanson is going to be my primary.  

Only bad news the chai mate (who would have known such a thing existed, 15 years ago?) will arrive later this week.  But I have plenty to keep me busy in the meantime.  

I'm going to let my hair dry a little more and then take a nap.  I had a horrible nightmare when I did get to sleep last night and did not get any good quality of sleep.  

Friday

 Last night.  Where do I start?  

I went to bed very early.  Woke up at 7 PM when his "debate" alarm went off.  He decided to sleep through it.  I went back to sleep.  I woke up at 1 and stayed up for about an hour, went back to sleep around 3 (just not tired!).  

I woke up at 4 and did Ron's medication.  Back to bed for a couple of hours and up again around 8.  

Things I don't talk about, nothing I consider "bad" as I went into marriage with very clear expectations of what I would need to do one day.  That day came today, it comes now and then, goes away, comes back.  I am OK with that.  Ron was distraught and kept talking about a nursing home.  I told him that was not happening.  Got him settled.  

I did my workout.  Intervals on the exercise bike.  I pulled something in my left foot last week so I am going easy on the walking.  Bike is OK though.  I tend to overdo working out and get injured, so I want to be smart.  

Ron wanted to listen to a song on my cellphone while I worked.  I gave it to him and it started skipping, he had his hand on touch screen and had done something with my calendar?!  I was Not Happy and gave him hell.  

I did manage to fix it.  I took my shower.  I did my Bible study readings, Ron woke up and I apologized. 

Pretty uneventful I did pray in the laundry room, it worked pretty well.  I had the washer running.  I took a nap, woke up with sudden heavy gust of wind.  

I was worried about the exterior blind, they just hang down and can bang against the house/window.  I was worried about Ron's window so I ran out there and rolled it up.  I did get it in time but at one point I was standing outside in this severe weather fighting with the blind to keep it from shattering the window. 

Was it smart?  No.  When the yard guy accidentally broke the sliding glass door that only cost us $300, and this was a much smaller window.  But I reacted.  Happily I am fine.  I am just going to leave it rolled up until next spring.  

Then we lost power, all the gusty winds took out some power lines.  Now the power lines in the neighborhood are underground. But the lines leading up to the neighborhood are above ground, and occasionally fall in big storms.  

Oddly enough we didn't get a lot of rain just big "outflow" winds.  So we got to "enjoy" no power for a few hours until it came back.  It is back now.  

I will check the mail in an hour, I am hoping my packages came early.  The Amazon "birthday gift from Mom and Dad" did arrive, some nice pillow covers and a tablecloth.  

So we'll see.  That's it for now.  

Power outage

Right in the middle of my post.  I will update when I can.

Thursday

 Jesus talked about praying in a closet.  I thought I had a very nice place to pray.  But Biscuit has been bothering me daily when I do pray, getting up into my lap as I'm reading prayer requests out of my binder, etc.  It is very annoying.  Today he also added a top note of truly evil farts as he laid in my lap.  I love him but the timing is just terrible.  

So I think I will either move into the bathroom or the laundry room (both have doors I can shut) for my prayer portion of the God Time.  Everyone seems fine with the Bible study portion, and that is a lot of books.  

 I am glad I don't have to lug them around. 

Pretty quiet today but the depression hit.  I had had a low grade mania for awhile but that is at an end.  Things were pretty grim around dinner but better now.  I slept for a couple of hours but woke up very alert, so I will stay up a bit and go back to bed in a while.  

That's it for now.  

Tuesday

 I didn't sleep well last night, worried about the sales tax.  Then I apparently rolled over and turned off the alarm, and slept well past Pill Time.  I had a major meltdown when I got up and stuffed those pills into him right quick (spoiler: he is fine, don't plan to do again though and put an alarm on the other side of the room).  

Sales tax required a "webfile" number which they apparently put on the paper form they send me.  But they didn't send me the paper form.  So I had to prove it was "me".  The automated system did not work, to put it nicely.  I hit Zero for a human being, not that they gave it as an option, and got kicked around and kept on hold for some time.  Leonard fixed me up right quick and was very nice.  He did make a good point, the wife always knows the husband's social security but the husband does not often know the wife's.  So he gave me the number.  

In the middle of all this Ron had to use the commode chair and I had to tell him I couldn't help.  I did not want to go back on hold.  So I helped him after I finished and then went back to my computer and filed the sales tax.  It was actually really easy once I proved I was "me".  Then I did the e-payment so that is done ON TIME thank God.  No thanks to the Post Office who did not get me my form in time.  

Then I went to Sam's.  I got what I needed for work.  I also found a six pack of roast chicken leg quarters, all ready to eat, for $3, off rotisserie chickens that did not sell yesterday.  Either that or they had a six legged chicken.  😂  I am sure they will be tasty and I can prepare them various ways.  

We came to work and I got everything unloaded and stocked.  I called Jack again to go home, he makes some good money on supply run days.  

Ron wanted to talk when I was at Sam's (on the phone) but I couldn't.  I did talk to him some at work.  When I got home he was asleep.  I put the chicken away and made myself a "peanut butter" (soy butter) and jelly (raspberry) sandwich, took my pills.  I can't do nuts they give me migraines and I think I could have an allergy.  My throat was a little tight doing the peanut butter crackers today.  Then I took a nap, haven't done that in a while.  I had a really good full drool nap and only slept about an hour.  

I got up, Ron was still asleep.  I did exciting things like drink some water, pet the cats, etc.  I checked my email and my vitamin/soap/tea order is coming they sent about $30 of it.  I am curious to try the boswellia.  

I haven't been very hungry today which is great.  I did get a decent amount of protein and really only ate between 1-2.  Still not hungry now at almost 6.  

I will figure out what I'm doing with the chicken tomorrow. Ron mentioned he might like it deboned, on slider buns.  But I figure 3 pounds of cooked chicken for $3 was a deal too good to pass up.  

I also need to finish up the Halloween candy.  But I don't think I'm going to do that tomorrow, it has been a lot of mental/physical stress the last couple days so I will take it easy tomorrow.  

God willing.  

Monday

 I slept OK and went ahead, got up at Pill Time (4:45 AM).  I stayed up and worked on the computer, mainly, took a shower, etc.  I went to work, canned soda sales are DEAD.  I took the money out, not much.  I went to the bank and converted the one dollar bills to something more spendable.  

I went home, checked on Ron (fine).  I went to my bank and made my deposit (math error would have resulted in cell phone payment declining), then went to Walmart.  I bought some tea, hand soap, and a happy meal for Ron.  He enjoyed it but said it is "too much cardboard waste" and not to get him another.  I ate my burger later, it was good.  

I made some tea and got back on the computer.   I will be checking the mail shortly, if the sales tax form doesn't arrive I will file online tonight.  It's only a couple of lines so it shouldn't be too scary.  

Ron got his new radio he seems to like it, and it runs off wall power and not vitamins.  I got the red and black version and I like looking at it.  

It is very easy for him to operate, as well.  It has a headphone jack so I can get some sleep.  We had rain off and on today but happily none while I was out.  

Overall a pretty good day.  I know I will feel better when I am done with the sales tax.  

Sunday night and Monday morning

 I slept pretty well but Ron was awake when I got up to pee, he started peeping like a chick when he heard me flush.  He was hungry.  

I need to remember to tell him he has a Hormel Compleat Chicken Alfredo, and 2 boxes of energy bars, on his bookcase.  I forgot about that, it being the middle of the night.  

I took care of him and went back to bed.  I slept pretty well.  I got up when the pill time alarm went off.  I am not working out this morning, at any rate.  I will take a shower before I leave the house.  And, there's the rain.  Ron said it would rain today, but I didn't check the forecast.  I'll just bring the umbrella.  

Plan is to get Ron settled, me fit for work, go to work, stock, take money out, go to bank.  The rest of the day is up in the air.  

At some point I need to run to my bank. 

Ron's tooth is bothering him a lot so that will be some $$.  But he needs to get it fixed I don't want him to suffer.  Hopefully he can set up an appointment.  

I am a little worried about him in the chair now that he's having seizures.  But he hasn't had one in over 2 months which I will tell the dentist.  This guy is our long term dentist over a decade.  Ron is very happy with his work.  

My goal is to stay out of that chair!  That root canal took forever and was pretty traumatic to me.  Not that he hurt me, he didn't.  But the duration was very taxing.  Next time pretty good odds I will just take the $1K and go to the oral surgeon, have them knock me out and pull it.  Especially if it is a back tooth.  But I won't go borrowing trouble.  

So anyway we need to get that done.  I have to work, sales tax, and my trip to Sam's club around all that.  I need more inventory if I am going to make any more money.  They are buying more snacks now which is encouraging.  I need to get that filled up.  

So that's it for this morning.  

Saturday and some of Sunday

 I got up and took care of everything, and decided I would run out to Dollar Tree.  

I had a gift card.  I took a Uber.  I gave the driver a Bible promise book and we talked about faith.  He thought I was a very humble person.  

I hope so.  I really do.  If you see something good in me that is God working, my flesh (self) is corrupt, selfish, and weak and boy do I know that.  But God in me can do amazing things.  

I got some dinner for us and talked over.  There is a Hobby Lobby on the way and the lure of the yarn department sucked me in.  I went in and found some chunky weight heather acrylic yarn that is very similar to what I am using in my poncho project and it is "I Love This Chunky" which is a very good brand.  When I was on a knitting board years ago everyone loved "I love this yarn" which is the brand name.  It is very silky to work with and long lasting.  

I am sitting pretty near an afghan I made with Red Heart acrylic 20+ years ago so that's another good brand.  But they didn't have any Red Heart.  I figure I can use this yarn for binding everything together.  It will be between 4-6 pieces (depending) and I will need to join them.  I can use this,for that, and it is a complementary color.  

And this is the great thing about proper medication; I only bought the one ball.  I had to stand in line forever but I didn't mind.  

Then off to, what?  Where's Dollar Tree?  There is green carpet in an empty unit which DT had but no store?  Nothing on the door, either.  What?  

I was later told the DT had moved one shopping center down, across a busy street.  But I didn't know that.  All I did know it wasn't in that strip mall.  There was a Big Lots, I guessed, never been a big fan of big lots.  I decided to go to the 99 Cent store nearby, it involved a bit of a walk but I was OK with that.  

I found some nice stuff, disposable bowls and plates, tea, and some very nice lemon scented soap.  I knew it was good because I could smell it through my mask.  I got 2 of them.  I checked out (another long line) and took a Uber home.  I put everything away and worked on organizing some cabinets.  

I took care of Ron, did some laundry (Torbie had thrown up in my bed) and called my parents.  They were very happy I gave them the money and that, basically, they are a priority line item on the budget. They didn't twitch when I told them what I needed so I had NO problem paying them back.  After all, I had enough money to get my workout clothes, a jacket for Ron, tea/soap/vitamin order from Swanson, etc.  Don't have much left after that but I was able to get it.  And if I can get luxury items I can certainly pay them.  

I haven't missed a payment.  I was "almost" late one month on the 19th but that is it.  Due date is the 20th.  

I did explain I will be paying sales tax which is over $400 so not to expect a birthday gift.  I will write her a nice email though. 

I slept pretty well but I did have a nightmare about work.  I will actually be glad to get in there tomorrow. 

Ron was cute this morning at pill time. He said he wanted a cuddle today, in my bed, I said OK. He asked me when so I told him a time.  He is happy now.  I thought that was endearing.  I just need to move some pillows so he can get in there OK (my mattress is fairly low to the ground and easy for him to access). Plenty of room for the wheelchair in my room as well.  

When he got up he wanted to do a couple of things, he wanted to do an online debit thing.  Did that.  He wanted a radio that plugs into the wall.  I had bookmarked one I thought he might like and he said it sounded good.  I think he is mainly concerned it have a 3.5 mm stereo headphone jack and an A/C power cord.  He also wanted another small radio that runs on batteries.  We did that.  

He is careful with his money so I don't see a problem with that, considering how much enjoyment he gets out of his radio.  

I am listening to some praise music which is nice.  I plan to do some intervals on the exercise bike.  I did some research and basically any heart rate between 100 and 140 is good.  

I got my cute workout clothes yesterday and I really like them.  I may put more on my Christmas list.  I think my family would be very happy to help support me exercising regularly.  

Torbie is laying on Ron all stretched out, and "correcting" him with a claw when he stops petting her.  It is very cute.  

That's it for now. 

Friday

 I slept OK, got up and helped Ron.  He needed some hands-on assistance after pill time so after that I decided to stay up.  

It was pretty uneventful today except for the big argument.  Ron asked me to cut his sandwich a certain way.  I did, then he had a tantrum and said I had "ruined" it.  Oh, PLEASE.  So we argued.  The gist of it he will be cutting his own sandwiches from now on.  And I apologized for yelling at him.  

And then he needed more help.  😂😂  So I did that.  

I decided to take a nap and the utility district decided to use a jackhammer and do a lot of digging nearby.  It is my fault.  I saw water in the road for a few days now and should have called about it, but didn't.  So they decided to start during my nap.  So that was out, between the beep beep of the truck and the jackhammer I wasn't getting any rest.  

And Baby Girl got in my chair and I didn't want to evict her.  About her, she got another mat but I was able to work it out.  I need to get a firmer bristle brush for her, like mine.  

But I already use my hairbrush for both me and Ron, the last thing I want to do is use it on the cat, too!  

I'll get her, her own brush (a human brush with stiff bristles not the pet brushes which don't work for her).  For some reason she just sheds a lot this time of year.  Last year ended up in this:  

Which as we all know did not go over very well with Ron.  So I will brush her every time I give her treats, which is a couple times a day.  

I did do my workout today, some exercise bike and kettlebells.  I hit my cardio goal for the week.  Yay, me.  

My left shoulder has been stiff and tight.  I stretched it out really good using the exercises from Ron's rehab book.  And I did "thrusters", a combination of a squat and then into an overhead press, "rack" the weight at chest height and down into a squat again to repeat.  It is a very good move and gets whole body including shoulders.  So I will keep on that, I tend to hold tension in my shoulders.  And I also did that old gym class chestnut, the arm circles.  I had PE on both coasts and they always did arm circles.  It's a good move my shoulders felt worked but not painful or tight, when I finished.  

I get legs with the cardio and then the squats and deadlifts with the kettlebell.  And the stretching.  So I don't worry too much about legs.  

I got 2 identical pair of black sneakers yesterday, I found some pink shoelaces so I put them on one pair so I can tell them apart.  I like to rotate my shoes especially for walking.  Now I am set for 6 months (my arbitrary but works no foot trouble since last spring).  And the shoes were only $13 each I think.  

So, happy with my workouts.  Caffeine use is down to about half of what Doc suggested as my max.  I like mixing black, green, and spearmint tea.  It is all decaf.  And tea, at least what I drink, is cheap - a lot cheaper than soda or even the crystal light.  Lots of places to buy it online too.  

I did up my pills today too, so I am good for 2 weeks.  I need to make an order with Swanson Vitamins but not urgently.  And they sell tea!  

That's it for now.  

Thursday

 Long day, but according to Google Fit I got 20 "Heart points".   Not bad!  

So, I got up, made some tea, did my God Time.  Fed the cats.  They only want me to feed them in the morning so I am doing that.  

Ron woke up, talked to him.  I said I was thinking about going to vote (it is not far), walking each way so I could see if it was passable for the wheelchair.  Most of the route has sidewalk so it ought to have been OK, but we thought that back in 2016 I think and it was not, Ron had to get up and walk at several points, and there is no way he could do that now.  

I left the house with my voter card and my ID, and a mask as well.  I figured, correctly, they would require a mask.  

I don't know if I mentioned Jack lives in the neighborhood.  So he pulled over when he saw me and gave me a ride.  He didn't know where to vote and I teased him our votes would cancel each other out!  He laughed.  He said he would go back tomorrow, he had things planned for today.  

It does take longer to vote now they took out the straight ticket vote.  I had a short wait in line, told to use sanitizer and don a little (my phrase) finger condom on my right index.  I "signed" a tablet and was given my number, went over to my booth.  It took a while but I voted my conscience which at the end is all you can do.  

I did have a little puzzle at one point, a democrat vs. a liberitarian.  I voted for the lib.  

All done, they had me exit out to the side not the main entrance.  There were discarded finger condoms all over.  I put mine in my bag, took OFF the mask, and drank the Diet Mountain Dew I had brought to the party.  

I walked home, it took a while because the sidewalk verges were overgrown with prickly and itchy things that kept slapping my legs.  No way I could get Ron through here.  I got home and talked to Ron, said voting is basically the same but he will have to get a ride home.  

I figured I was up, dressed, had my bra on 😂, I might as well do the bank deposit.  So I did that and went to Walmart because my feet were starting to bother me, which means I needed new shoes.  I found 2 pair for about $14 each, they do surprisingly well and are good for about 6 months for me.  I will rotate them as well.  Ron wanted some chips which I got him.  I got some Tazo Wild Sweet Orange tea.  I came home.  

Ron and I had a little disagreement, he was referencing a bottle of "something" on his book case and kept saying "Second from the left".  There was only the one bottle.  How can you have a second if you don't have a first?  I was baffled and felt he wasn't very nice about it, either.  

We got that sorted and I tried to take a nap but not tired.  Ron said he was reading the epilepsy book and finding it interesting.  Good, I think it is really important for him to be informed about his condition.  I did tease Ron his rock-climbing days are over.  

I have no idea what I'm doing for dinner, some sort of protein though.  And... I did tuna and egg salad.  

Ron told me to wake him up at 4 for the game because he "didn't want to set the alarm and wake me up"  I told him go ahead because I was going to be up anyway.  I figured that was done with.  

I was actually praying.  In a literal sense.  When Ron woke up at 4:05 furious I hadn't woken him up, carrying on that he "could" have missed the game and acting like he had, when, in fact, he missed 2 guys up at bat.  So I'm sitting in the orange room explaining I told him to set the alarm.  And he is saying things like "You didn't wake me up on purpose, hoping I would miss the game".  He can really attribute all sorts of sick things I wouldn't dream of doing.  I didn't bother to "defend" myself from that, that is how his game is played, I am out to "get" him and I have to "prove" I am not.  It really upsets him when I say "Whatever you think" and ignore all the wild accusations.  He didn't get what he really wanted, which was for me to have a meltdown and throw myself on his "mercy" the way I used to.  But the balance of power has shifted DRAMATICALLY he can't just throw me out on a whim like he could have in CA.  

I will admit I asked God to take the anger and help me clear my head, before I continued.  I didn't say anything ugly or spiteful, and I helped him later when he asked.  I even offered him some of my tuna salad, which he then criticized for a couple of minutes.  I just said "Whatever" and finished eating my portion, which at first didn't have ENOUGH lemon pepper and then had too much.  But it was still good.  I like the contrast of the hard boiled egg and the tuna.  So Ron had a little of that and I ate the rest.  It was very good and completely low carb.  

AND I made some delicious tea.  I had decaf green tea, I got 4 bags.  I got one quart sized decaf black tea bag.  Lastly one standard sized bag of spearmint tea.  I brewed it up, I did the black and mint first, let it sit a minute, and then added the green so it wouldn't get bitter.  I let that steep the appropriate amounts of time and yanked the bags, added a little sweetener and a whole lot of ice, and I have the best iced tea.  I used a small amount of real honey and it is superb.  

Then I took a shower, I was pretty gritty from running around all day.  I am debating going to check the mail tonight.  

I am set for sales tax either way, if the form arrives in the mail I can mail it back.  If it doesn't come in the mail I made the deposit to cover the sales tax by check or online payment.  And I have used the State of Texas online payment system for our monthly fees.  So there's that could come today.  

And maybe my parents sent me something.  Ron's jacket doesn't come for 2 weeks so I will be patient on that.  I don't take him out much anyway.  I don't know what I'll do.  I could use a treat (I just got one but you can call me greedy).  

I think I will go but I will give it another hour.  

Get out and vote!

If I can do it you can, too.

Wednesday morning

 That was fun.  I weighed and measured myself this morning and down 5 pounds, and down a couple of inches just in my waist, getting me to 2X.  

I slept OK.  I did go back to bed after I gave Ron his morning pills.  I got up around 8, looked around on Amazon, finally decided to buy the bike shorts and capris ($43 total, no shipping) from Academy, and did the sales tax.  I backed up the business accounting files.  

Ron wanted to check my work so I gave him a flash drive and helped him get his computer.  Once I had him set up I did intervals on the exercise bike and took a shower.  I really needed it after the intervals!  I got my heart rate up above 140 which is pretty good considering I am over 40.  I went pretty much to the max heart rate.  Then, I went back down to 120 or so for a minute, then back to max.  It was a workout, alright, and I needed a shower when I finished!  

It is nice to have a little mix up in the workouts.  I took a shower using my "spice" soap.  It has a very mild fragrance, not an impressive lather.  But it gets me clean.  I won't buy it again.  I am just super picky about soap ever since I made my own.  I like it with a lot of lather.  

So I did that, had a granola bar and a salt tablet.  "Lithium is a bully and pushes the sodium ion out of the body" my doctor has said countless times.  He also requested I take a salt tablet or sport drink when I do work out.  I would be an idiot to ignore that advice.  I'm a lot of things but I'm not an idiot!  

I am looking forward to getting my workout clothes, Academy gave me free shipping, very nice.  I know I like the product because I had these bike shorts before.  And the price is very reasonable ($15 for bike shorts, $25 for the capris).  Super excited the capris have pockets.  And I can buy more online as these wear out because I already like the brand.  

I am not interested in looking hot I just want to get healthy, and I think that is the right goal.  I think it is important to mix up what I'm doing and work different muscle groups.  Walking is great because it works pretty much every muscle group.  Biking works lower body very well.  And I am still able to take care of Ron, I am not going overboard straining muscles and walking around all stiff.  

It looks like I haven't done any kettlebells this week, I will get on that.  But I am getting plenty of cardio every day which is my main goal.   I want to be as healthy as possible for many reasons.  So much of my life I was so profoundly ill I couldn't care about myself in any meaningful way.  

I remember people telling me to wear sunscreen and hoping skin cancer would get me one day, or a heart attack from lack of exercise.  Now I do care, I'm not even sick, and I want to keep it that way.  

My Dad almost died in his 50's from heart disease.  His Dad died of a stroke in his 30's.  My mother had severe high blood pressure for decades and the heart attack got her at 58.  That's not a good genetic legacy!  

But I can fight that being smart.  

I got the card!

 Thank you very much!  I love shopping there.  

The mail seems to be really slow lately so I just wanted to let you know I DID get it.  

Prime Day

 I got up at 5, took care of Ron, and decided to just stay up.  I checked out Prime Day on Amazon and saw a nice looking polar fleece jacket that would do nicely for Ron.  I thought about it for a while and when I came back an hour later it had dropped to $14.  I went ahead and got one in charcoal gray.  

Ron looks very good in dark colors, he is a "winter" but is rather flaky from psoriasis so I didn't want a dark color.  The gray will help hide the flakes.  I got him a large as he likes things a little big and am happy I got it.  

I had $60 to spend if I wanted and I only got that.  My parents may or may not get me the tablet, if they do that will be nice.  I can do video calls.  

Ron is pretty comatose for a few hours after pill time so I enjoyed the time to myself.  I did my God Time.  

I did let him know I would be leaving to run errands when he woke up at one point.  

I went and did that.  I had a little wait on Arturo but I had a very strong internal directive to call him for my trips today; I try to listen.  I went to the bank and got my pay.  

Then I went to Walmart.  I got everything on the list.  I had fun looking around and pretty much stayed in budget.  

Ron's phone was off so I got some flypaper, and some flying insect spray.  That should take care of the fly problem (it is 1-2 in the house from me leaving the window open a few days back).  I got everything and came home.  

I went with Arturo again as I had a lot of bulky, heavy, items like cat litter.  He is always nice about helping and never gets an attitude.  I didn't have much but he got a large tip because he deserved it.  I like to make it worth his while.  

Ron agrees; so I came home.  Ron had called while I was waiting.  He said there was a problem and he was very sorry.  First question, are you OK?  The cats?  Yes.  But he was embarrassed.  I asked if he fell.  No.  Did you hurt yourself?  No.  What's the problem?  

There was a problem capping the urinal and it spilled, and the whole bed was soaked and smelled pissy.  He was worried about the mattress.  I told him about the rubber sheet, he was so relieved.  I said this is easy to fix, you move out of bed, I strip it and wash it with some baking soda and detergent.  I will spray the cover with some unscented cleaner.  He wanted a bath so we did that too.  

I am very happy with the "A Better Life" unscented spray cleaner.  I used it cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, and Ron's mattress cover just today and it got everything.  The mattress pad doesn't stink or reek of cleanser.   Everyone's happy.  

And the cleanser is pretty affordable.  After I got Ron settled I decided to clean part of the kitchen, between the microwave and the fridge.  I keep my disposable plates and cups over there but it was just a big pile with God Knew What on the bottom.  So I took everything off and sorted it, cleaned the counter (needed that spray!  Which did the job) It looks much better now.  Then I figured out how I wanted to organize that corner and did it.  Everything is nice and accessible now.  

Yes, I have an open case with APS.  So does Ron.  But I want to live in a nice house anyway so I have been taking steps all year - since BEFORE they were contacted, to do this.  I am very pleased with myself.  

First I had to get my head right.  That took years of medication.  Then I had to have everything taken out.  The broken pipe saw to that.  While it was gone I had time to think about what I actually needed and how I would store what I kept.  Then I needed the dumpster.  Wasn't cheap but worth it.  

Then it was much easier to bring in a select few items.  I had already pretty much figured out how I was going to store them.  I did have a few things that never left in the kitchen but I am working my way though that and pretty much done now.  Every can of food in my house is wholesome, everything in the fridge.  I doubt many people can say that.  I have 2 fly strips, roach and ant bait in case anything does get in the house.  The litter boxes are scooped, all the trash is in the can at the curb waiting for pickup.  And the recycles.  I take my recycling pretty seriously.  

A little note on that; the Bible says the Earth will be burned up so I'm not "saving the planet".  But until then we humans are in charge of the planet.  So I want to be a good steward.  A lot of talk about that in some churches generally when they have their hand out.  So I do what I can.  

That is another nice thing about holistic cleansers.  They don't pollute the water supply the way something like bleach would.  

So I cleaned and organized the kitchen, did my shopping for the week, took care of the bank.  I fixed Ron his dinner.  I made him a little slider he liked that, I think.  He is being stoic but I think he had a bad day for pain today.  His sheets are in the dryer now, I used washing soda and baking soda in addition to the detergent, today.  I do that sometimes on the more exciting loads.  

I will check the mail in about an hour and then take a shower about an hour before I go to bed.  I had a pretty good supply of energy today, not manic though, which is good.  

That's it for now.  

Monday

  I didn't sleep well, got up at 5 for pill time, went back to bed for a couple of hours, got up, took care of Ron, off to work.  Stock, take money out, count, check if bank is open - it's not, COLUMBUS DAY.  Boy I'm glad I didn't make a trip.  

I came home and didn't touch anything.  I talked to Ron, he didn't need anything, washed my hands well and took a long walk (45 minutes).  I came home and took a shower.  

It was a very nice walk, a little warm for my taste but we did have nice breezes, sunny, fresh air, some people around but no one walking.  I had the place to myself and easy to walk on sidewalks as everyone was at work.  In the early AM the cars park 2 deep, blocking the sidewalk.  

So I had a good time.  When I got home I undressed immediately (Ron would have liked that but he was asleep) and took the shower.  I will do laundry later.  

My goal is to shower after coming home from work every day and change my clothes.  That should eliminate a lot of chance of me bringing something home to Ron.  

I was pretty alert so I just stayed up.  Ron and I talked when he woke up, we will file the report online if they don't send us the form in time.  I don't think it will be too difficult there are only a few lines to the short form (us).  But we still have a week to get it in the mail.  

The cats are good.  

Ron had a problem with a fly so I put a glue trap on his bookcase.  That proved difficult for us as he got stuck, I got stuck, Torbie got her tail stuck (she had the easiest time getting loose 😂) So I put it on the top shelf of his bookcase.  I really need the fly trap, the ribbon.  It is my fault I had his window (no screen) open the other day.  

I had a good amount of exercise, I feel a little worked but not tight or painful.  I plan to do intervals on the exercise bike tomorrow morning.  

Tomorrow my plan involves a Walmart run so I will look.  I don't need a whole lot.  

BUT a game changer.  As you know Ron is very sensitive to cleaning products and other fragranced items.  I use A Better Life Whatever unscented cleaning spray for most things, disinfecting wipes are OK for him, baking soda, vinegar, unscented Tide PODS, etc.  But I heard about using denture tablets in the toilet and I figured what the heck.  

They did a pretty good job a few days ago.  Today I was cleaning the urinals.  I rinsed them out with water but they still had an unpleasant pissy odor.  Last week I had tried using a "regular" cleaner and Ron objected quite vehemently.  So I tried the denture tablets again.  I soaked them for about 5 minutes, poured it out, scrubbed, and rinsed.  MUCH better.  And very easy.  And 84 tablets were about $3 that is a lot of cleaning.  They have a very nice light minty odor for me but dissipated by the time they get to Ron.  That way Ron won't be gagging when he opens them, from the piss odor or the cleaning products.  It's just a clean scent.  

I gave my Fight Bac kills everything spray to my Uber driver today, he was happy to get it.  I didn't want to throw it out and I am happy it has a good home.  If he likes it he can google the name and get more.  Ron hated the stuff and acted like I was murdering him the last time I used it.  😂

I made some tea after my shower, I made some decaf black iced tea and put a bag of spearmint tea in with it to steep.  SO GOOD.  I put one packet of the pink sweetener.  

I also made some Hibiscus tea that is very tasty and also good for blood pressure reduction.  It can't hurt although my workouts are probably doing more for that.  I want to do what I can.  

My zinc came yesterday I am not too worried about zinc intake as I do take a multivitamin but it can't hurt.  I plan to take a tablet or two every week with dinner.  

I did give Jack some zinc I bought for him and his wife, they are always happy to get supplements.  They are nice people.  

My stepmother found the wrong wish list, the one with my cleaning products and bed bath for Ron.  She was quite happy to get the list with the "fun" stuff.  I did buy myself some fancy soap last week, it is OK but I won't get it again.  It is just not impressive to me.  But it gets me clean so that's good.  Dad said something about getting me a tablet?!  So we will see if that happens, if so that will be nice I can use it for Zoom and put a bunch of apps on it (not enough room on my cell phone).   But we'll see.  

I do know they are having some huge deals tomorrow on Prime Day.  

Sunday afternoon

 I had 4 eggs with cheese, I cooked them in the microwave this time.  It was overcooked, I am paranoid about salmonella (it having almost killed me back in 2004).  Some of it was still runny so I kept putting it back to cook until it was all firm.  And no, it didn't "finish cooking" after I took it out.  

So I had that with some shredded cheese and have been stuffed all day.  I got my package from Lucky Vitamin it had everything.  I will see how the soap works out when I take a shower.  It smells nice at any rate, and it was an "orange spice" type of fragrance so it didn't affect my tea.  The tea was good, I had some.  

I couldn't take a nap so I got up again.  I have been listening to praise music.  I realized my You Tube music had gotten rather angry and grim.  So I'm making a concerted effort to make it happier and more focused on God.  Ron has slept most of the day which is fine.  Baby Girl sat up for treats a few times.  

I have seen everyone.  Biscuit got in my lap for a while.  Cleo got up next to me and Spotty came by for some petting.  Baby Girl got her treats and Torbie has been more Ron's cat lately.  I am OK with that I think she goes where most needed.  She's a good, sweet, old lady and she makes me very happy.  Ron loves to sleep with her.  

It got up over 85 so I turned on the air.  I was suffocating.  I don't mind it up to 85 but above that I tend to get uncomfortable.  Of course the hot tea didn't help, either.  

I am going to go have a bottle of cold water.  That was very refreshing.  

I need to figure out my dinner; Ron can have the fried chicken.  I will probably just have a couple of turkey dogs.  I am not super hungry and I know that will hold my pills.  

I am happy to see Ron is sleeping well.  He was in a lot of pain when I woke up this morning and took a lot of Advil and several applications of pain relieving balm (unscented of course) to help.  Anyway I am comfortable now and he didn't wake up.  

Married, anywhere I guess, you have that issue, the thermostat.  One person wants it hotter.  One lady in my menopause group said her family went out of town without her, first thing she did was set the thermostat to 60 and run around the house half dressed until they came back.  I'm not that bad, thank God.  

I think my herbs are helping (Wild Yam, Dong Quai) a lot so I will keep taking them.  And they are super cheap, I think about $6 a month.  That is nothing.  Hot flashes are greatly reduced, skin is back to normal (had been getting very dry), no other real problems. So I will keep taking it.  

I will wait and see what Amazon does for prime day before I figure out what I'm doing with what's left of my budget.  If I see an exceptional deal on a Fire (tablet) or Kindle (reader) then I may get one otherwise I will spend it on something else.  

I am going to work solo tomorrow; Ron has a friction blister on his heel.  It has not popped yet and I don't want it to; that opens him up to infection.  So no shoes for him which means no work.  If we had a location NOT in an industrial plant he could just wear flip flops.  But they have a policy and he has gotten into trouble before.  

I always wear sneakers/boots so am good in their eyes.  Back in the day I had better wear some steel toed boots.  Ron had a bad habit of running into me, backing into my feet.  Kneecapping me, blind people in wheelchairs are a MENACE.  

All that to say I will be going to work alone and Ron and his blister can hang out at home.  I really don't want that thing to break, it hasn't yet (been about a week), I have been washing it, etc. and being very careful.  He has had a lot of these blisters and a sealed blister always heals better than an open one.  And it's his feet so you really have to be careful.  

It won't be a long day tomorrow.  I am debating do the workout tomorrow morning, then go.  Or do it after work.  Both have been good times.  I would like to take my shower tonight so I don't have to do it tomorrow.  Then I can take tomorrow's shower after my workout, after work.  I am leaning that way.  

Will I do kettlebells?  God only knows.  

I think I am going to eat my hot dogs and take my pills now.   

Sunday morning

 I got into the fried chicken last night.  I do enjoy greasy, fried, foods and it met my craving.  I had a breast.  Ron had one too, which just leaves us with 2 drumsticks out of the whole container.  We sure got our money's worth out of the chicken!  

It also agreed with my medication which is useful to know.  

I went to bed pretty early, slept OK, got up for pill time, shove the panino at Ron and give him his pills, back to bed (taking the day off workouts).  I slept another couple hours but woke up with a pretty bad headache, which did abate once I was upright for a while.  

I did my God Time.  

Then I measured myself and checked out Academy website.  I had some really cute workout bottoms which vanished when the movers did their thing.  I know they were in good condition so I don't know what the hell happened.  Who steals used workout clothes?  I don't know but apparently they did.  I went through every box that came back and they did not.  

Anyway, Academy had a real cute little bike short which I liked, 10 inch inseam so not crawling up my ass and something I could wear in front of my uncle or Dad.  I don't believe in "advertising".  So I found that again, $15, very reasonable (only thing that would make it better would be a few pockets).  I checked the size chart.  My waist is a 3x and my hips are a 2x.  So I will get it in the 3x.  I also found some really cute capri pants for when the weather gets colder and they DO have pockets.  I will buy the bike shorts when I can and get the capris next month as a reward for working out.  I may even be a 2x by then.  So happy I still have those.  

It is really useful to have a tape measure on hand.  I don't like a full length legging so the capri length should be great, but I have short legs so, on me, it will appear to be full length.  

I think it is either a feature of my neglect or the FAS but my legs are only 27-28 inches and I am 5'7.  So I have to buy petite length everything.  Happily America is so fat I can obtain petite length plus sized jeans at Walmart.  Had things worked out differently for me I think I would have been a few inches taller.  

And Ron is also 5'7 so that would have been a little weird.  I'll take what I've got, I am in the normal height range here.  My mother was fairly petite from what I recall but my Dad was over 6 feet.  I did take after him with hair, facial features, etc. so no surprise I got some of his height.  I am just glad I didn't end up 6 feet, also.  

That's about it for clothing items I plan to buy.  I have a good assortment of jeans and I always wear a t-shirt year round.  In winter that is paired with a black unzipped hoodie.  And I am still working on my poncho.  I am making two outer strips and then the middle will me two squares, one on each side of the head hole.  I am sure there is a more technical term for that.  😂  I am not sure where I will wear the poncho but it is a nice project.  I am using a very thick yarn and size 11 needles.  I am on my second ball of yarn.  

I plan to take it easy today but I do need to clean the litter boxes, I think I will do that first and then I won't have it hanging over me all day.  

That's it for now.  

Saturday

I tried the vinegar last night, I put a half cup in the toilet and asked Ron to let me know if he had any problems. He didn't.  So I have that tool on my belt.  The toilet looked very nice when I finished.  

 So I did my new routine this morning, took a walk after I dosed Ron.  He says he can do it on his own but would require an alarm.  What is the point of him doing it if the alarm wakes me up anyway?   Also Doc specifically requested I do it.  

I didn't say that.  Anyway, I was up so I did my walk and kettlebells when I got home.  I may do some stretching later or save that for tomorrow.  

I took my shower and did my God time.  Ron and I got to talking after I finished.  He really liked what he had me do with the Arby's, cut it into quarters so he basically had sliders.  I told him I can make him sliders, I did before a year or two back and he loved them, ate them too often (didn't say this) and got sick of them but they were well loved for a while.  But he does need to finish the chicken first.  

So I made a Walmart delivery, I got 2 kinds of turkey, already have roast beef, and some ham, sharp cheddar cheese we both like that.  I also got some denture tablets, generic brand, because I read they are also good at cleaning toilets and the smell won't affect him.  I already had the precooked bacon.  They had little slider buns so I got that.  I didn't get the pretzel ones, I would have for just me but Ron is not a pretzel fan.  That comes, happily, in a few hours and I did not do the express delivery either.  I like to think they like me because I have been a loyal delivery customer for over a year now, and have talked it up to quite a few people.  

Hopefully they will have all the fun stuff.  I didn't get snacks.  I am really aiming to eat fewer carbs until I get my weight back down around 225 at least.  I am losing weight eating this way.  If I really crave a salty snack I can eat my pretzels, I have had the bag for a while.  

Oops I forgot cat food but I do have plenty.  We also did bath time and I helped him with some personal care.  He is pretty good about accepting help and letting me bathe him.  

I am going to take a nap before my order arrives.  

Friday morning

 So I was on Facebook last night and it kept suggesting I "add" my primary abuser as a friend.  I guess he unfriended me at some point (he sent me a friend request some years back).  I said no thanks.  [Edit out nasty comments]

Anyway I said no.  I went to bed early yesterday and fell asleep pretty fast considering how much caffeine I'd had, but I woke up at 1:30 and could not go back to sleep.  I got up for a while and went back to bed around 3, then I did sleep pretty well until Pill Time, back to sleep after that.  

I like shoving one of these at Ron for pill time because he likes to take them with food.  

Wow that is big.  Anyway you get the idea.  It is low carb and high protein so I am all for it.  I am not worrying about Ron's salt intake as his blood pressure has been excellent with just the medication.  Besides, it would be difficult to have both a low salt and a high salt diet in the same house.  

So I went back to bed and woke up at 8, I am taking today as an off day for working out.  I am down about 4 pounds so that is encouraging for me.  I had a headache which I think was the muffins I had for dinner last night.  I took some Excedrin.  

Biscuit was very upset I had soy milk for breakfast but lactose is killing me about now.  My mood was not great, irritable and paranoid, I couldn't wait to take my pills.  I did my shower and God Time and for once Ron didn't bother me during either.  Maybe he sensed my mood!  😂  Seriously, though, tyty  (Biscuit says hello).  

Anyway I was OK by the time I finished my God Time.  And that is the great thing about faith, I can dump my flawed, broken, self at His feet and He can still make something of it.  I wouldn't use me, I have so many things wrong and sometimes I just don't have any love in my heart (like this morning) but God still works with me.  

I told Ron about it later and he said he didn't notice so that was good.  He did, however want some fried chicken please?  

He had 3 breast quarters so I gave him one of those, warmed up (45 seconds seemed to be perfect) on a paper plate with a wet wipe.  He really enjoyed eating it, I really enjoyed him getting the protein, and Baby Girl stole a couple bites of chicken while he was eating.  She is pretty cute, she is relentless when it comes to cooked chicken.  She likes it all ways, roast and fried.  And he could feed himself that just fine.  It took a while which was good because he was feeding himself.  

I am not one to do something for him if he can do it himself.  His mother also had that attitude and I think that is healthy.  She used to let him run around and play with the other boys even though he had a few accidents/injuries (I think all boys do), she would get him fixed up and send him out again.  

One time he shook a fig tree that had a wasp nest.  And his brother locked the door and wouldn't let him in the house.  Another time, after that same fig tree, he got the ladder and tried to climb it but he slipped and impaled himself on the picket.  He had to go to the hospital for that one.  

Ron doesn't 😂 like figs anymore! He also fell off another ladder and landed on his head, etc. As far as I know this is all normal boyhood stuff.  My stepbrothers each had a couple trips to the emergency room growing up, mainly stitches.  I fell off my bike around age 10 and had to get a couple stitches myself.  

But I don't think I had an exactly normal upbringing ("Heather don't you touch that book!  It'll make you crazy!") but who knows.  

I do know I was so neglected as a toddler it took me years to catch up on my growth.  I am glad I don't remember much with my mother. What I do remember is very sad.  

Anyway not going there today.  I am going to wait and see if the soy milk is behind today's headache.  If not I will order some more, delivered.  I really like it, the Walmart brand and vanilla.  It is about all they had in the case.  I am allergic to almond so it has to be soy.  

Almonds are scary.  I ate some once and my throat got very tight.  I didn't believe it so I ate more on another occasion, same thing, worse even,  I said HELL NO, ALMONDS and haven't touched them since.  The problem for me, chocolate is a migraine trigger (remember that horrible week long one I had a few years ago?), so if an energy bar doesn't have chocolate it probably has almonds.  Some have both!  I can still stock the machines and even handle packages of almonds (that would be a good idea to get some, actually), but you couldn't pay me to eat them.  It's a shame, I used to love a Hershey Almond.  That is one thing I always keep stocked, them and the Snickers.  

I am a little dizzy so I'm going to go lie down for a while.  More later.  

Thursday night

 Walmart finally sent me a text my stuff was ready, and of course Ron needed help right as I was getting ready to leave.   I finally got to the store right as some clouds rolled in.  I did all my transactions and did a little shopping.  

I checked out the yarn department and settled on getting some yarn needles I will need putting my poncho together.  

I didn't get any yarn because I was hard pressed to think of a project.  Ron called and said he wanted fried chicken.  

I told him I had to pick up some wet wipes and then I would look at the deli.  Except a couple from some other country (not Spanish) were jabbering away, standing in front of the display, arguing about his selection of some Irish Spring soap.  He wanted it, she did not.  She kept pointing at it and the shelf, like "Put it back".  I stood there waiting for them, they both looked over at me more than once.  I finally said "Excuse me" loudly and touched the woman as I reached for the wipes.  She did not like that but she didn't get out of my way, either.  She jumped back and jabbered at him, and I said "Very rude" to them pointedly and walked off.  They jabbered some more, clearly talking about rude American women, but I didn't care.  

THEN I went to the deli and found an 8 piece fried chicken in the warmer.  It had just been cooked.  It looked good.  Ron was a little skeptical but I told him it only had 2 legs 😂.  I checked out (that took a while as it was pretty late for me, after 4) and waited outside on Arturo until it started raining.  I took cover, put my mask back on (I had taken it off when I went out) and waited.  

I went home, threw everything in the garage, and took Ron his chicken.  He murdered 4 pieces before I took it away.  I put everything away.  

I plan to go to bed early after I check the mail.  I am tired.  

Thursday

 Last night I was lying awake in bed and I suddenly realized we had not gotten the sales tax form yet.  And I don't have our account number written down.  Not smart, I know.  

Which led to a hunt in Ron's closet for our original copy of our sales tax permit.  Ron had a Ham Radio antenna in there which shows how little we access the closet.  It took some digging and a garbage bag full of worthless junk, but I found it.  I also found the first hat I ever knit for Ron, he keeps it out of sentiment.  It looks more like a yarmulke, I wanted to get rid of it, but he insists on keeping it.  So it stayed.  

I put the sales tax permit with our other important business papers and the backup flash drive.  Then I could sleep.  

I slept a little too well, I apparently did not set my alarm and woke up at 5:30.  You never saw me get that seizure pill into Ron, so fast.  He has been OK so I do have a little wiggle room, not that I plan to use it.  And I am going to take my phone out and make sure the alarm is set for tomorrow.  I did that, it was not set.  I was hoping to set it for a whole week at a time but I don't see a way to do that.  Of course I did take my pills today so that informs some of my logical reasoning.  

Namely, pills can make me stupid at times.  Not every day just on occasion.  I remember one time a snack machine wouldn't work, I was almost in tears, worked on it 20 minutes and finally prayed, realized "Oh it is out of nickels" and "fixed" it.  After that I started taking my mood stabilizers in the evening.  

I have to take the antidepressant in the morning, it is too stimulating to take at night.  Speaking of pills I am waiting on my refills.  

So I was wide awake at 5:30, I tried to go back to bed, couldn't sleep, got up a little later than normal for my walk.  And everyone had their sprinklers going during my walk.  I had to keep crossing streets to avoid them.  Happily I could see them in advance.  I had a pretty good walk about 30 minutes, came home.  

My fitness tracker has been very happy with me of late.  

So I came home and took a shower.  Then I did my God Time.  Later on I found a cooked hamburger patty in the freezer and had that for breakfast.  I am trying to lose some weight.  

I decided to take a nap and went in the bedroom.  Spotty followed me, meowing.  I baby talked him, asking if he wanted his "Special petting time".  At that, Cleo popped out from under the bed, got on top of me, and demanded a good 15 minutes of solid petting.  It was adorable.  But half the time, away from my bed, she is skittish, but that is OK I don't mind.  She's a good little cat.  

I also undertook a search for unscented floor cleaner, which I did not find.  Everything either has the usual chemicals or essential oils.  He wants NO fragrance, not natural.  Me I love scents but he gets very upset.  He even balked at my fight-bac.  

Tomorrow I want to try some vinegar in the toilet bowl while he is awake.  See how that goes.  If he objects I can just flush it.  I will be running the whole house fan of course.  

I am trying to avoid doing any "work" today I did a lot yesterday.  Of course most of my work is sitting around waiting for the text from the pharmacy.  Ron is snoring away, I wonder if he got ANY sleep last night.  Sleep is good; he did ask for some lidocaine cream which I applied.  That apparently turned off the pain long enough for him to rest.  

I've been there, with migraines.  The pain is so bad you can't sleep, you really only sleep when the pain abates.  Yup, been there.  

That hurricane isn't far as things go so that will probably affect his arthritis.  I expect more pain the next day or so.  

But now I just wait for the text.  I really want my meds on board before the election.  If I haven't said this before everything in me says it is going to get ugly for some time after the election and it is prudent to stock up now while you can.  Also, the virus will likely come back this winter.  You will use up whatever you buy; but what I DON'T want is me trying to get my pills in the middle of it!  

A lot of canned food has the pop top which is great in a power out situation.  

I did it all today

 I got up, did my Bible study (will pray later when fresh), took my shower, took care of Ron, etc.  

I called Jack and went to work.  I had some Coke on my cart so I went ahead and stocked it.  I did some knitting for a while and remembered the bottled vendor, got to work on that and stocked a whole mag-liner (a lot) of bottled soda and water.  I did all that and sat down again.  

Right as I did the Dr Pepper truck driver called me.  I went all the way out to the dock and got him, brought him back.  He didn't have any Hawaiian punch but did have some 7up and a label for it, so I took that instead.  There was a problem with my pricing, we had to call the sales rep, but she fixed it.  I paid and walked him back out to the dock, then came back.  

Now I had to stock those 30 cases I just got.  It took me a while but each machine was as full as I could stock with what we had (about 80% of what I ordered).  Then I left notes on each machine listing what they did and didn't have and when they could expect cold drinks.  The bottled vendor drinks had come out of our commercial fridge and were already cold.  

Finally time to go.  I called Jack and we went to the bank, got enough $20's  to pay the electric bill, and came home.  I was so tired I didn't even want any takeout.  

Came home, barely sat down before Doc called for my phone appointment, which only took a few minutes.  I did tell him I am experiencing some menopause symptoms.  He was glad to hear Ron is on seizure medication now.  He put in my refills I should get them tomorrow or Friday.  

I found some blood in the hall, the cats killed something, so I cleaned that up.  It went well until I got the disinfectant spray, Ron complained bitterly about that.  So I can use the "Better Life" cleaning spray and that is it, apparently.  No bleach, no other cleaning products.  

I checked in on him a few minutes later as I was getting ready to take a nap and he snapped at me, called me "annoying, like a fly" shouted "Leave me alone!" a few times, etc.  I took my nap and slept pretty well with my trusty Biscuit.  I did wake up with a headache.  

He is sleeping, he apparently slept most of the time I was working and had the phone off so I had to handle everything on my own. He is certainly teaching me to live without him.  

But I am done for the day and I did EVERYTHING at work I even sorted the quarters for the bill changer.  The only thing I didn't like: I paid the driver cash, one of the Postal workers walked up to him and demanded he "change" a $100 bill he had.  I didn't get a chance to tell the driver no, they are always pushing these $100's and I don't think they are all real.  He just went ahead and gave the guy five twenties.  I wouldn't have done that.  It was the driver's call but not one I would have made, and the postal worker knew it.  Even the other vendor doesn't "change" $100's.  We are happy to do anything up to a $20 (either of us) but nothing bigger.  

The way I see it you had to go to a bank teller to get the $100 bill.  While at the window you could have asked for ANY other bills you wanted.  Besides, I don't want the Postal Workers seeing us as a bank, they had one on site for MANY years.  Even then they were always waving their big bills in my face demanding I "change" it.  I think it is just a power thing.  

A lot of the Postal Workers, to be blunt, treat me like some sort of service scum there to lick their workboots.  And I am there to help but I expect to be treated with respect.  I don't ask you to kiss my butt, so don't ask me to kiss yours.  It's like the guy shoving his fingers in all the coin returns of our vending machines "checking" for "extra money".  It's rude.  And I really think if I had my back turned and a machine open he would have gotten into the change bucket.  It just reminds me to always lock the machine when I am not looking at it.  

Sometimes it is tempting to leave it open as the stockroom is about 30 yards away around a corner and "I will be right back" but after what I saw today I am not doing that.  Anyway, all the machines were full when I left.   

Ron wants Arby's for dinner, that sounds good to me.  We did get a small fry so we won't get too fat.  😂.  It should arrive around pill time so he will have something tasty to eat with his pills.  

I could use a "sure bet" for dinner.  

Tuesday

 I got up at 4:50, gave Ron his pills, and took a walk.  Then I did my God Time (pray, Bible study).  After that I lined up all my Halloween candy and set my chair in front of it, and bagged up 50 generous bags of candy with Scripture booklets.  I gave Ron a bag of leftover M&M's (the trick or treat size).  He enjoyed that.  After that, I paid the water bill.  

So I am done with the have-tos today.  If I have energy I will do kettlebells tonight as I plan to take a shower before I go to bed, saving it tomorrow.  I have to do some accounting stuff as well but not too worried.  

Cleo has been a little skittish lately, I think it's the stray dog I saw last night.  It was a mangy little terrier.  Even if I could catch it I wouldn't have a place to keep it.  But she has been skittish and a little hand-shy lately.  I will give her time, she did get into bed with me last night for petting.  She feels very safe with me lying down.    

Later, did the kettlebells.  Gave Ron a bath and rearranged his room a little.  Going to bed early.  

The rest of Monday

 I have had a lot of trouble standing up for myself.  It was literally beaten out of me on more than one occasion, but I had to do it today and both Ron and I are pleased with the results.  

So I got up, took care of my needs, took care of Ron.  I was pretty tired even though I slept OK so I just slurped a couple of Mountain Dews and saved my God Time for later.  

Jack got me and I went to Sam's.  I was able to get most of what I needed for a reasonable price, considering I had to spend over $80 on candy.  Candy has been PATHETIC I admit so I really had to get that done.  

I did.  A nice variety, praise God they have these packs with like 8 of each candy bar.  They are great for fronting a vending machine.  

We went to work and I found my area all blocked off.  I brought my stuff in (2 carts) and parked it off to the side, then called the head of maintenance.  Once he picked up every maintenance radio in the building heard our conversation, and I was very glad of it.  

I explained the problem: someone had blocked off access to my vending machines.  He said that was my problem, that "it will take as long as it takes (to dry)".  I then told him it was dry, and he had a choice.  Either he opened up my vending area within a half hour or I would go home and leave them empty.  I meant it, too.  He said "Why a half hour?  You will need to wait."  I told him no I DID NOT have to wait I had a husband to care for in addition to the business and I could not sit around for hours.  I ended the conversation telling him he had half an hour or empty vending machines, and I would tell everyone who asked why the machines weren't stocked.  He said he would send someone over.  

By the time I got to my area some woman I have never met in my life said the other vendor's cart left a track on the floor, "that was a problem" and I was "not allowed" to use my carts by the vending machines anymore.  Which is BS it is impossible to stock without using a cart by the vending machine, but I played the game today and did snacks walking back and forth from my carts.  But Wednesday I will be there before they even show up for work and I will do the Cokes, etc. then.  

Speaking of soda my sales rep called, she was very apologetic about what happened and said I would be the first stop Wednesday.  Good.  Then I went home.  

I took care of Ron for a while and then took a nap, had a pretty good one, woke up with a headache (probably all the soda this morning), but it went away after I got up. I took the day as a rest day for working out.  

I will do my God Time after I eat.  I need to figure out if the canned roast beef is any good.  If it is I want to get more.  

Sunday and Monday morning

 I slept OK, got up to dose Ron, fell back asleep and had horrible nightmares, one being Spotty getting hurt.  It was horrible.  I couldn't wait to get up.  

I did the exercise bike for a while and then some stretching for a while.  I have a whole book of stretches.  

Then I took a shower.  Jack showed up with the BBQ plate for Ron right after I got dressed.  Awesome.  Then I did my God Time.  

I spent the rest of the day being pretty lazy.  I had to clean the toilet and Ron complained about the "eco" cleanser.  Frustrating.  In desperation, I googled "Unscented toilet bowl cleaner" and I'll be damned but I found it.  They also had soap, and tea.  I bought some of each.  

They had the Good Earth herbal tea.  It is so good, spicy and sweet.  I used to love buying it in CA but I haven't found it locally.  I ordered two boxes of that.  I should get it in about a week, they say.  

I looked up more unscented cleaning products and found they have the Better Life on sale at Amazon.  I really like their spray.  Ron likes it too.  And I found some unscented floor cleaner but I didn't buy any.  

Ron IS OK with every candle I've burned and various body soaps (on me), so I have that.  I am surprised he didn't complain about the herring.  

Next day, I got enough sleep but I don't feel it.  I am going to Sam's to buy inventory if possible, make another Dr Pepper order, etc.  I have Jack helping me he is basically retired now, and my trips are welcome income for his family.  

That's it for now.  

Saturday

 Well I finally got about 8 hours and was mostly awake when the pill time alarm went off this morning.  I got up, dosed Ron, thought about going back to bed, and took my walk.  I had a nice walk it is cool and I have the neighborhood to myself.  Plenty of houses around so I could scream if needed (I lost my stun gun), but I have the place to myself.  

I came back home and did kettlebells for a while, swings, squats, and deadlifts.  I am focusing on whole body strength.  I am not interested in doing one body part after another.  Kettlebells are good for whole body work.  And I was done in 10 minutes (ramping up slowly).  The #15 is good for now and I have up to #35 so I am set for a while.  

Boy my mail carrier hated those bells.  She had to deliver them to my porch.  I have a new carrier now.  

Anyway I did all that and took my shower.  

TMI alert.  I have had a heavy flow so I backed my heavy duty tampon with a large pad.  I had major leakage during my squats and soaked the pad.  After my shower I had blood running down my legs before I inserted the next tampon, it was rather alarming.  

And I remembered what one NP told me about a heavy flow, that Naproxen or other NSAIDS can help slow a heavy flow, so I took one.  I am back to what I would say normal levels now.  

I finished making the hamburger helper.  Ron loved it but it made me pretty nauseous.  I won't be eating it again.  I'll make it for him but not me.  

We got our flood insurance paperwork so we are set now.  Good to know, I had my worries about the post office.  I haven't seen a lot to inspire confidence lately.  

When I took a nap Cleo got in bed with me and demanded half an hour of petting.  She kept nipping at my hands every time I stopped.  It was pretty cute.  

Ron and I talked, I am getting a Kindle on Amazon Prime Day which is the 12-13 of this month if I remember correctly.  I can use it, and will use it, so I feel OK spending that.  I am not going to get the top of the line model.  Or I might get an inexpensive tablet.  Not sure.  But I am OK spending less than a hundred on myself considering how many thousands I have spent on the house, insurance, etc.this year.  If I do..I still have weeks to think about it.  

 That's it for now.