Always seems to hit in December. I hate Christmas depressions. Glad I never had kids - I would hate to ruin Christmas for them.
Friday, November 30, 2018
So bad, even the possum...
I slept pretty well and had a good shower this morning, fed Biscuit, etc. When getting Ron dressed, he wanted to wear a long sleeved sweatshirt and knit shorts.
I told him the fashion police would get him. He said OK and I left him to finish dressing. When I came back he had put on the knit shorts. I told him I would take a photo and put it in the blog.
Our ride was almost exactly an hour late, to go to the bank. Instead of honking, or knocking, she tried to get us in trouble by telling dispatch we weren't there. Dispatch called my husband, who said, I am home and coming right out.
Ron and I went into the garage and opened the door. As I saw it open, I saw a strange man in my driveway, very close to the house, lunge toward the opening garage. He saw me, stopped, and literally ran off at a high rate of speed.
I found that disturbing, and creepy. I did not recognize the man as any of our neighbors, either. So he must have been some random creep looking for houses to rob (that is the only reason you walk TOWARD an open door on a house you don't own).
I went out. To my disappointment, it was the driver from yesterday, the one who was playing head games and going the wrong way, getting simple directions "mixed up" because she is either incompetent or playing games, or, my likely guess: both.
I was really not happy, she was an hour late, tried to get US in trouble when SHE was an hour late, etc. I asked her what the deal was with the strange man in my driveway, as I had seen her hand off a piece of paper to him before he sprinted off.
"Oh, he wanted a ride". I told her he could have gone to the corner, turned, and walked a half mile to the bus stop. "Oh, he can't do that!" Why not? I do it all the time. "He said he was disabled when I asked". Yet he was able to sprint off the second I caught him trying to sneak in our garage. I said he was no more disabled than I was. She got mad about that.
Ron got out of his wheelchair and she went in back and fiddled with it for a while. The drivers receive extensive training in how to secure a wheelchair during their initial phase with the company. The company does not want a person in an electric wheelchair coming loose during a hard stop and flying into the seats.
I made a point of giving step by step directions to the driver, and she still had to be prodded to change lanes, etc. on a couple of occasions. She had an attitude I was "helping" her but she proved yesterday, if left to her own devices, she will drive 5 miles in the wrong direction just because she can.
Every time she hit the gas, or brake, the wheelchair crashed alarmingly in the back. Ron asked about it "Oh, it's tied down". CRASH. "I can't afford a new wheelchair" Ron said worriedly. She again said it was fine.
I told her it was NOT, not if it was crashing around like that, and I was worried about the water bottle bursting open during transit and ruining my papers in the back of the wheelchair. She said she "tied it down different, but it was fine". I asked her if she would tie Ron down like that. She said no.
By this time, we had gotten to the bank. She tried to pass it up but I told her to get in the right turn lane, as we'd already asked, and she did it. She had the GPS on, I was giving her directions, she said she knew the place, and she still tried to pass it up.
My big question: incompetent for the job, or just playing head games? Both? Both is my likely vote.
We got there and unloaded. Now, the first time I rode with her I gave her candy. I had done up candy for today but I just did not have it in my heart to give her candy. She was so heavily into playing head games she is going to get herself fired and ruin her whole life. The last driver who had the route did a good job - all the previous drivers have done a good job. She is just either exceptionally bad at her job, heavily into head games, or both.
So, first time we gave her candy. Second time we did not, I didn't have any, but the third time I gave her pastry and she drove for 20 minutes going the wrong way when we told her we had an urgent appointment. God only knows what she would have done if I had given her candy today.
So, I didn't. But it was hanging in a bag on the handle of the wheelchair and I know she saw it. Petty, yes, I am the one playing those head games I hate, now, but I was just DONE. There was no way I could give her candy with a smile and mean it.
We got in the bank. We had some $1 bills. I went through them and made sure we didn't have any $5 bills. I found 3 and gave them to Ron. We got in line, it was very easy and quiet at the bank today. We transacted our business, I got paid, Ron got some money for inventory.
After we split it and put it away he told me he didn't want to go through a drive through, on the way home. I told him fine, I would eat something at home. He was still pretty wound up from the whole ride to the bank so I reminded him I was not the driver, she was gone, and we would not see her again that day (we had always planned on taking a private cab home).
He called Arturo, who said no, he had something else going. See, he does occasionally say no. But if we won the lotto I would steal him and make him our private driver.
Ron called Yellow. Who would we get? God only knows, but please not another game-player.
Our ride came in a couple minutes. There was a woman with tight jeans, ripped up to the crotch, sitting in a car texting, blocking the wheelchair ramp. I felt pretty confident banging on her window and asking her to move. I pointed out the man in the wheelchair, and the ramp.
Worst case I could have gotten Ron down but it wouldn't have been safe. She moved. The security guard was right behind me.
The cab driver pulled up, and got out. He started teasing Ron relentlessly. "Why are you in a wheelchair?'
"Too much sex" I replied. He almost fell down laughing and asked Ron if that was the case. Ron gave him a shit eating grin and said yes, we got him in the cab. The driver teased Ron all the way home, and kept telling Ron what a wonderful woman I was for staying with him. Always nice to be complimented.
We got home, got Ron unloaded, paid the driver. Ron gave him a good tip, as I felt he should. He totally made up for the first driver. I wish I could get that guy all the time. He was wonderful and had a great attitude.
I ate a can of Spaghettios and took my pills. Then I helped Ron with the cats for a while and then took a nap. I slept for a little bit but had a nightmare about my primary abuser.. I wonder if he ever dreams about me.
I couldn't sleep again after that so I got up. I found Ron, asleep, in his wheelchair, in the kitchen. I managed to get around him and make some sugarfree punch.
I worked on the computer for a while until he woke up. I asked him if he needed help, he said no, and went to the bathroom. He found some bagged popcorn under his bed and ate a few bites. It was awful. I had to laugh at Ron carrying on.
I had wondered why the possum hadn't gotten it, but now we knew - it was so bad even the possum wouldn't touch it. I brought him some "good chips" and he ate them.
I am getting a little bit of an appetite so I may get some pizza. It is half off this week so I could get something really nice for cheap. If I can save money, I will do it.
We will see. Tomorrow we work. Ron, on his own, told me he wants to work more so that will be a good idea. Holidays can get us some good money if we earn it.
I told him the fashion police would get him. He said OK and I left him to finish dressing. When I came back he had put on the knit shorts. I told him I would take a photo and put it in the blog.
Our ride was almost exactly an hour late, to go to the bank. Instead of honking, or knocking, she tried to get us in trouble by telling dispatch we weren't there. Dispatch called my husband, who said, I am home and coming right out.
Ron and I went into the garage and opened the door. As I saw it open, I saw a strange man in my driveway, very close to the house, lunge toward the opening garage. He saw me, stopped, and literally ran off at a high rate of speed.
I found that disturbing, and creepy. I did not recognize the man as any of our neighbors, either. So he must have been some random creep looking for houses to rob (that is the only reason you walk TOWARD an open door on a house you don't own).
I went out. To my disappointment, it was the driver from yesterday, the one who was playing head games and going the wrong way, getting simple directions "mixed up" because she is either incompetent or playing games, or, my likely guess: both.
I was really not happy, she was an hour late, tried to get US in trouble when SHE was an hour late, etc. I asked her what the deal was with the strange man in my driveway, as I had seen her hand off a piece of paper to him before he sprinted off.
"Oh, he wanted a ride". I told her he could have gone to the corner, turned, and walked a half mile to the bus stop. "Oh, he can't do that!" Why not? I do it all the time. "He said he was disabled when I asked". Yet he was able to sprint off the second I caught him trying to sneak in our garage. I said he was no more disabled than I was. She got mad about that.
Ron got out of his wheelchair and she went in back and fiddled with it for a while. The drivers receive extensive training in how to secure a wheelchair during their initial phase with the company. The company does not want a person in an electric wheelchair coming loose during a hard stop and flying into the seats.
I made a point of giving step by step directions to the driver, and she still had to be prodded to change lanes, etc. on a couple of occasions. She had an attitude I was "helping" her but she proved yesterday, if left to her own devices, she will drive 5 miles in the wrong direction just because she can.
Every time she hit the gas, or brake, the wheelchair crashed alarmingly in the back. Ron asked about it "Oh, it's tied down". CRASH. "I can't afford a new wheelchair" Ron said worriedly. She again said it was fine.
I told her it was NOT, not if it was crashing around like that, and I was worried about the water bottle bursting open during transit and ruining my papers in the back of the wheelchair. She said she "tied it down different, but it was fine". I asked her if she would tie Ron down like that. She said no.
By this time, we had gotten to the bank. She tried to pass it up but I told her to get in the right turn lane, as we'd already asked, and she did it. She had the GPS on, I was giving her directions, she said she knew the place, and she still tried to pass it up.
My big question: incompetent for the job, or just playing head games? Both? Both is my likely vote.
We got there and unloaded. Now, the first time I rode with her I gave her candy. I had done up candy for today but I just did not have it in my heart to give her candy. She was so heavily into playing head games she is going to get herself fired and ruin her whole life. The last driver who had the route did a good job - all the previous drivers have done a good job. She is just either exceptionally bad at her job, heavily into head games, or both.
So, first time we gave her candy. Second time we did not, I didn't have any, but the third time I gave her pastry and she drove for 20 minutes going the wrong way when we told her we had an urgent appointment. God only knows what she would have done if I had given her candy today.
So, I didn't. But it was hanging in a bag on the handle of the wheelchair and I know she saw it. Petty, yes, I am the one playing those head games I hate, now, but I was just DONE. There was no way I could give her candy with a smile and mean it.
We got in the bank. We had some $1 bills. I went through them and made sure we didn't have any $5 bills. I found 3 and gave them to Ron. We got in line, it was very easy and quiet at the bank today. We transacted our business, I got paid, Ron got some money for inventory.
After we split it and put it away he told me he didn't want to go through a drive through, on the way home. I told him fine, I would eat something at home. He was still pretty wound up from the whole ride to the bank so I reminded him I was not the driver, she was gone, and we would not see her again that day (we had always planned on taking a private cab home).
He called Arturo, who said no, he had something else going. See, he does occasionally say no. But if we won the lotto I would steal him and make him our private driver.
Ron called Yellow. Who would we get? God only knows, but please not another game-player.
Our ride came in a couple minutes. There was a woman with tight jeans, ripped up to the crotch, sitting in a car texting, blocking the wheelchair ramp. I felt pretty confident banging on her window and asking her to move. I pointed out the man in the wheelchair, and the ramp.
Worst case I could have gotten Ron down but it wouldn't have been safe. She moved. The security guard was right behind me.
The cab driver pulled up, and got out. He started teasing Ron relentlessly. "Why are you in a wheelchair?'
"Too much sex" I replied. He almost fell down laughing and asked Ron if that was the case. Ron gave him a shit eating grin and said yes, we got him in the cab. The driver teased Ron all the way home, and kept telling Ron what a wonderful woman I was for staying with him. Always nice to be complimented.
We got home, got Ron unloaded, paid the driver. Ron gave him a good tip, as I felt he should. He totally made up for the first driver. I wish I could get that guy all the time. He was wonderful and had a great attitude.
I ate a can of Spaghettios and took my pills. Then I helped Ron with the cats for a while and then took a nap. I slept for a little bit but had a nightmare about my primary abuser.. I wonder if he ever dreams about me.
I couldn't sleep again after that so I got up. I found Ron, asleep, in his wheelchair, in the kitchen. I managed to get around him and make some sugarfree punch.
I worked on the computer for a while until he woke up. I asked him if he needed help, he said no, and went to the bathroom. He found some bagged popcorn under his bed and ate a few bites. It was awful. I had to laugh at Ron carrying on.
I had wondered why the possum hadn't gotten it, but now we knew - it was so bad even the possum wouldn't touch it. I brought him some "good chips" and he ate them.
I am getting a little bit of an appetite so I may get some pizza. It is half off this week so I could get something really nice for cheap. If I can save money, I will do it.
We will see. Tomorrow we work. Ron, on his own, told me he wants to work more so that will be a good idea. Holidays can get us some good money if we earn it.
Watching a TV show
About puppies, while waiting on a ride. Comparing animal parents to my own is always interesting.
Coming later, fashion police photo of Ron. I told him not to wear that outfit - I very seldom do, but he didn't listen.
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Thursday
Well, the day started off OK. We had to get up early to go to the warehouse because one of Ron's supervisors was coming out to 1. Do our "quarterly". 2. Do our "yearly". And 3. Pick up the business conference receipts and get our reimbursement started.
So we had to get to work early. I got up early, took my shower, got dressed in a navy t-shirt and black jeans. I wore, as always, my black steel toed sneakers.
A note about Biscuit, and forgive me if I told you already, a few days ago I got up early to check out pickup. While up, I fed the cats, then went back to bed for another hour. Biscuit joined me. When I got up, the second time, he begged as though I had not fed him. Sneaky devil!
I got Ron up, ready, and presentable. It was supposed to be very warm today. We went to the warehouse. The driver seemed nice, it was a straight trip, and not hard to get to the warehouse. We only wanted a couple of things.
Sure enough, we got in, Ron started whining about being hungry. I went over to the baked goods section and read him all the choices. I also added commentary on which selections gave me migraines. :p He wanted banana nut muffins. I got some other pastries that looked OK, and Jack likes.
I paid and we waited. I had woken up with a headache and started my cycle but happily all that happened at home where I had supplies.
Our ride came, late. Same driver as before. This time I don't know. Either she just suddenly dropped her abilities to below average, or she was playing head games. We were supposed to be a straight trip. 10 miles to work. She took this long, winding, route in the opposite direction. When loading Ron, she took the muffins from him and put them under her seat, and wouldn't give an adequate explanation. I didn't like my pastries, so I gave her the other 3/4 and she was excited to give them. I could only figure she was hoping we'd "forget" to get the muffins back and she'd get them too. It made no sense otherwise.
Ron told her it was important we get to work to meet our supervisor. She took the scenic route in the opposite direction and "played baffled why I am I going in the wrong direction?" Either I should be very frightened that someone clearly not up to the job had us in her care, or she was trying to piss us off. If the latter, it didn't work.
The muffin had made Ron very amicable and he didn't care. So she suddenly sharpened up and took us to work by the normal route. I was really happy to get out of there. I don't like it when people play games. Ron, on his own, "found" the muffins and took them with him when he left.
I got Ron, and our stuff, into the building. We stocked for a while and the supervisor came. She met with us, did our reviews. We gave her the receipts. I forgot to ask her about my bad cart. But Ron can call her about that. We signed everything and she left.
Sales are better. We have a lot of temporary workers shoveling money into the machines, praise God. One wandered around holding a credit card in hand, looking lost. Ron told him we are cash only. I suggested I could make change for a bill up to a $20. He didn't have any cash on him.
He was pretty upset, especially when Ron said it was a bad idea to buy snacks on your credit card. Shut up, Ron! I helped some customers and teased one about joining the "Platinum Club" for buying 2 items. They like that.
I venture to say they will force us to put credit cards in our machines in the near future. The readers, I mean. It will cost us money but we will probably be forced to do it anyway. I hope that is a ways off.
I helped Ron take coins out of the vending machines and then he went off to sort it with his machine. I had put some magnets on him at the start of the day so he wouldn't get too stiff. He tends to overdo at work.
Then, time to go. We left, it was warm, breezy, and humid. Really a nice day. We went home.
I took a nap. I had some digestive issues from something I ate yesterday. It was a little alarming.
And my cycle wasn't kidding today, normally it kind of works up to that level but not today.
Ron had made a trip to get some early dinner. Our ride to go there was early. Good. We got there and had a good meal, everything was done just right. I asked the manager to compliment the cook and he said he would. Employers love to hear their staff are doing a great job.
We left. It was noticeably colder, drizzling, and very windy. Acorns were falling off a big oak tree. One of them hit Ron in the head. I had a perverse thought "How do you know that is the tree dropping an acorn on you and not me throwing it at you?" Ron made a face at me and I gently tossed an acorn at his head, it bounded off his forehead and he laughed.
We were pretty chilled waiting on our ride. I had a hoodie but Ron was just wearing his t-shirt and pants. He was pretty uncomfortable (and the weather said the low would be about 72 tonight) by the time the driver arrived.
The driver found us and parked, got off, greeted us. The dispatch radio was up a little loud. Ron asked him to turn it down, he did. We got on, it was a little cool. Ron asked him to turn on the heat, he did. The driver secured the wheelchair properly and checked Ron's pass like he should.
He started driving, and Ron began complaining bitterly about the GPS. It was a little loud but NOT SO LOUD YOU COULDN'T THINK. He didn't turn it down. Ron got more and more upset. He said he wanted the manifest number.
You only need that to call in a complaint, which can cost someone their job. I told Ron it was not worth it.
Then he told the driver if he didn't like driving, there were other jobs.
Strongly implied he would get the driver fired.
I was very upset with Ron by this point. I reminded him of all the things the driver HAD done for him. He didn't want to hear it. The driver was trying to be professional, never reacted, just simply asked Ron if he wanted the name as well. I said that wasn't necessary.
Ron said everyone would get what was coming to them. I told Ron that applied to him, too.
He got Ron off the van pretty quick at home and I told them both I had to run to the bathroom, pushing Ron up the driveway quickly. I did have to go, I had strange cramps and gurglings. I got to the bathroom in time, thank God.
I was not happy with Ron for threatening the driver's job over, what can only be termed as, petty bullshit. If you get on being demanding and ask for 3 things, get 2, count yourself happy someone came for you at all.
You may have a different opinion.
It really bothered me that, after all that, Ron started preaching at the man. You have just made yourself loathsome in his eyes. Why would he listen to, or receive, ANYTHING you have to say? You just inoculated him against Jesus. That's a very bad thing to do.
I was in the bathroom for a while. I told Ron people pay good money for a cleanse and I got one for free! I always try to look for the positive.
We have some work things to do tonight but I am going to bed early.
Oh, and the boss lady told us we could write off a new computer for Ron, since he needs it for work. That is good to know.
That's it for now.
So we had to get to work early. I got up early, took my shower, got dressed in a navy t-shirt and black jeans. I wore, as always, my black steel toed sneakers.
A note about Biscuit, and forgive me if I told you already, a few days ago I got up early to check out pickup. While up, I fed the cats, then went back to bed for another hour. Biscuit joined me. When I got up, the second time, he begged as though I had not fed him. Sneaky devil!
I got Ron up, ready, and presentable. It was supposed to be very warm today. We went to the warehouse. The driver seemed nice, it was a straight trip, and not hard to get to the warehouse. We only wanted a couple of things.
Sure enough, we got in, Ron started whining about being hungry. I went over to the baked goods section and read him all the choices. I also added commentary on which selections gave me migraines. :p He wanted banana nut muffins. I got some other pastries that looked OK, and Jack likes.
I paid and we waited. I had woken up with a headache and started my cycle but happily all that happened at home where I had supplies.
Our ride came, late. Same driver as before. This time I don't know. Either she just suddenly dropped her abilities to below average, or she was playing head games. We were supposed to be a straight trip. 10 miles to work. She took this long, winding, route in the opposite direction. When loading Ron, she took the muffins from him and put them under her seat, and wouldn't give an adequate explanation. I didn't like my pastries, so I gave her the other 3/4 and she was excited to give them. I could only figure she was hoping we'd "forget" to get the muffins back and she'd get them too. It made no sense otherwise.
Ron told her it was important we get to work to meet our supervisor. She took the scenic route in the opposite direction and "played baffled why I am I going in the wrong direction?" Either I should be very frightened that someone clearly not up to the job had us in her care, or she was trying to piss us off. If the latter, it didn't work.
The muffin had made Ron very amicable and he didn't care. So she suddenly sharpened up and took us to work by the normal route. I was really happy to get out of there. I don't like it when people play games. Ron, on his own, "found" the muffins and took them with him when he left.
I got Ron, and our stuff, into the building. We stocked for a while and the supervisor came. She met with us, did our reviews. We gave her the receipts. I forgot to ask her about my bad cart. But Ron can call her about that. We signed everything and she left.
Sales are better. We have a lot of temporary workers shoveling money into the machines, praise God. One wandered around holding a credit card in hand, looking lost. Ron told him we are cash only. I suggested I could make change for a bill up to a $20. He didn't have any cash on him.
He was pretty upset, especially when Ron said it was a bad idea to buy snacks on your credit card. Shut up, Ron! I helped some customers and teased one about joining the "Platinum Club" for buying 2 items. They like that.
I venture to say they will force us to put credit cards in our machines in the near future. The readers, I mean. It will cost us money but we will probably be forced to do it anyway. I hope that is a ways off.
I helped Ron take coins out of the vending machines and then he went off to sort it with his machine. I had put some magnets on him at the start of the day so he wouldn't get too stiff. He tends to overdo at work.
Then, time to go. We left, it was warm, breezy, and humid. Really a nice day. We went home.
I took a nap. I had some digestive issues from something I ate yesterday. It was a little alarming.
And my cycle wasn't kidding today, normally it kind of works up to that level but not today.
Ron had made a trip to get some early dinner. Our ride to go there was early. Good. We got there and had a good meal, everything was done just right. I asked the manager to compliment the cook and he said he would. Employers love to hear their staff are doing a great job.
We left. It was noticeably colder, drizzling, and very windy. Acorns were falling off a big oak tree. One of them hit Ron in the head. I had a perverse thought "How do you know that is the tree dropping an acorn on you and not me throwing it at you?" Ron made a face at me and I gently tossed an acorn at his head, it bounded off his forehead and he laughed.
We were pretty chilled waiting on our ride. I had a hoodie but Ron was just wearing his t-shirt and pants. He was pretty uncomfortable (and the weather said the low would be about 72 tonight) by the time the driver arrived.
The driver found us and parked, got off, greeted us. The dispatch radio was up a little loud. Ron asked him to turn it down, he did. We got on, it was a little cool. Ron asked him to turn on the heat, he did. The driver secured the wheelchair properly and checked Ron's pass like he should.
He started driving, and Ron began complaining bitterly about the GPS. It was a little loud but NOT SO LOUD YOU COULDN'T THINK. He didn't turn it down. Ron got more and more upset. He said he wanted the manifest number.
You only need that to call in a complaint, which can cost someone their job. I told Ron it was not worth it.
Then he told the driver if he didn't like driving, there were other jobs.
Strongly implied he would get the driver fired.
I was very upset with Ron by this point. I reminded him of all the things the driver HAD done for him. He didn't want to hear it. The driver was trying to be professional, never reacted, just simply asked Ron if he wanted the name as well. I said that wasn't necessary.
Ron said everyone would get what was coming to them. I told Ron that applied to him, too.
He got Ron off the van pretty quick at home and I told them both I had to run to the bathroom, pushing Ron up the driveway quickly. I did have to go, I had strange cramps and gurglings. I got to the bathroom in time, thank God.
I was not happy with Ron for threatening the driver's job over, what can only be termed as, petty bullshit. If you get on being demanding and ask for 3 things, get 2, count yourself happy someone came for you at all.
You may have a different opinion.
It really bothered me that, after all that, Ron started preaching at the man. You have just made yourself loathsome in his eyes. Why would he listen to, or receive, ANYTHING you have to say? You just inoculated him against Jesus. That's a very bad thing to do.
I was in the bathroom for a while. I told Ron people pay good money for a cleanse and I got one for free! I always try to look for the positive.
We have some work things to do tonight but I am going to bed early.
Oh, and the boss lady told us we could write off a new computer for Ron, since he needs it for work. That is good to know.
That's it for now.
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
A day with minimal water pressure
Today was weird. I went to take a shower and minimal water pressure. I checked the yard and the street. No water. It wasn't us. If it wasn't us it must be the district.
Well, crap. There went my shower. I stood there naked in the tub staring accusingly at the faucet. I finally got out. Biscuit was very interested and got in the tub with me, sniffed around, and jumped out again.
I had also planned to do a load of clothes, but I didn't dare run the washer with little water pressure. I could only imagine it would cause the computer to freak out.
Well, that was my plan for the morning. I finally said to hell with it and took a nap. Torbie got on me, literally, purring and putting a paw on my face every time I stopped petting her. She is a little extortionist. She does that with Ron, too, but it's padded by his beard. We don't mind, we accommodate her.
I took a little nap but Ron woke me up going to the bathroom. I warned him about the water pressure. He said he had to go regardless. He went, it flushed OK. Now I understand the flush water was already in the tank, but the tank filled up OK. I got up and checked the water, it ran the way it should.
I ran a load of laundry with stain remover, on the soak cycle. My new socks did not wash well in the wash bag. I used some stain fighter additive (safe for my machine) for the soak cycle. I also took the socks out of the bag. The soak cycle fills and agitates for a while, sits for an hour, and drains, leaving me with a load of soggy clothes. I then add detergent (Tide) and run a regular load. Only once have I forgotten to turn the knob from "soak" to a standard cycle. I remembered today. I put it on heavy duty.
I watched some TV, Ron called Chuck and they talked for a while. The load finished. I took the clothes out of the washer, no stains. The stain fighting stuff I use (Shout Gel, and Biz) really worked. The socks looked very good, wearable. I was worried I would have to throw them all out. I couldn't bleach them because all the fibers are synthetic, plus it would damage the elastic. I had put in a pair of Ron's pants. The pants had to be washed, they had stains and looked bad. Not only were they clean, the legs were practically tied in a knot from all the agitation. Ron's sweatshirts looked fine and so did our t-shirts.
I just had to take the socks out of the bag to get them clean. Lesson learned. I will probably put them back into a bag for storage, though. I ran the dryer, hung up the clothes when dry. I left the socks in the dryer.
I need to get up early so I will go to bed early tonight. It was a strange day, without water for part of it, or effectively without water. It did remind me to bring the bill to work so I can pay it.
Ron's back seems to be bothering him, I will check on him before I go to bed and make sure to let him know I am going to bed. Overall, he is pretty good about "letting" me sleep when he is hurting. He is not always good about that when he's drinking. But, as far as I know, he's had very little today.
A reader mentioned things seem at their worst right about now. I mentioned I believe 2011 was worse. I will have to go look up some random posts but from what I remember he was drinking heavier, more verbal abuse, keeping me up all night, more blackouts, etc.
Then in early 2012 I had what I believe to be a miscarriage (I did not get checked out). If I did it was a good thing because I was in no way able to care for a child at that time. Those were some bad times.
Had I been pregnant, and maintained it, I would have probably given it up for adoption. If you were wondering.
Well, crap. There went my shower. I stood there naked in the tub staring accusingly at the faucet. I finally got out. Biscuit was very interested and got in the tub with me, sniffed around, and jumped out again.
I had also planned to do a load of clothes, but I didn't dare run the washer with little water pressure. I could only imagine it would cause the computer to freak out.
Well, that was my plan for the morning. I finally said to hell with it and took a nap. Torbie got on me, literally, purring and putting a paw on my face every time I stopped petting her. She is a little extortionist. She does that with Ron, too, but it's padded by his beard. We don't mind, we accommodate her.
I took a little nap but Ron woke me up going to the bathroom. I warned him about the water pressure. He said he had to go regardless. He went, it flushed OK. Now I understand the flush water was already in the tank, but the tank filled up OK. I got up and checked the water, it ran the way it should.
I ran a load of laundry with stain remover, on the soak cycle. My new socks did not wash well in the wash bag. I used some stain fighter additive (safe for my machine) for the soak cycle. I also took the socks out of the bag. The soak cycle fills and agitates for a while, sits for an hour, and drains, leaving me with a load of soggy clothes. I then add detergent (Tide) and run a regular load. Only once have I forgotten to turn the knob from "soak" to a standard cycle. I remembered today. I put it on heavy duty.
I watched some TV, Ron called Chuck and they talked for a while. The load finished. I took the clothes out of the washer, no stains. The stain fighting stuff I use (Shout Gel, and Biz) really worked. The socks looked very good, wearable. I was worried I would have to throw them all out. I couldn't bleach them because all the fibers are synthetic, plus it would damage the elastic. I had put in a pair of Ron's pants. The pants had to be washed, they had stains and looked bad. Not only were they clean, the legs were practically tied in a knot from all the agitation. Ron's sweatshirts looked fine and so did our t-shirts.
I just had to take the socks out of the bag to get them clean. Lesson learned. I will probably put them back into a bag for storage, though. I ran the dryer, hung up the clothes when dry. I left the socks in the dryer.
I need to get up early so I will go to bed early tonight. It was a strange day, without water for part of it, or effectively without water. It did remind me to bring the bill to work so I can pay it.
Ron's back seems to be bothering him, I will check on him before I go to bed and make sure to let him know I am going to bed. Overall, he is pretty good about "letting" me sleep when he is hurting. He is not always good about that when he's drinking. But, as far as I know, he's had very little today.
A reader mentioned things seem at their worst right about now. I mentioned I believe 2011 was worse. I will have to go look up some random posts but from what I remember he was drinking heavier, more verbal abuse, keeping me up all night, more blackouts, etc.
Then in early 2012 I had what I believe to be a miscarriage (I did not get checked out). If I did it was a good thing because I was in no way able to care for a child at that time. Those were some bad times.
Had I been pregnant, and maintained it, I would have probably given it up for adoption. If you were wondering.
If I could leave Arturo a Google review!
Well, clearly we saved the old computer.
When Arturo took me home I told him we would be going to the computer guy. He said, give him a call when we're ready. I like that about Arturo, he's available.
If he isn't he tells us exactly how long it will take, and is very honest about the expected wait time. We have had other drivers lie to us and we don't use them anymore. Arturo does not lie.
So, I finally got Ron up, dressed. I put my Diet Dr Pepper on the back of the wheelchair (I always have some sort of bag on the back of the wheelchair). Ron called Arturo. He came in about 10 minutes. We had a hell of a time getting the computer into Ron's lap, out the door, and out to the cab. Once we did Arturo got the computer (cpu) into the back of the cab, along with the wheelchair, and off we went.
Ron called the computer guy and let him know we were coming. We got there and Arturo took the computer into the store, while I got Ron into the wheelchair. Then he came out and drove off while I took Ron up the single ramp and into the store.
The tech, a nice Vietnamese man (Houston has a pretty significant Vietnamese population, which I find awesome), was already at work. He told Ron the computer was 10 years old. I believe it. I had it for some years before I gave it to Ron.
Ron wanted to wait while he tried to fix it. I thought that was putting undue pressure, but Ron was paying, and the guy didn't tell us to leave. First thing he backed up all Ron's accounting files and gave them to me.
Now, from a legal standpoint that is really important, for me to have access. If I had to file a report (sales tax or our monthly) I would be able to do it, as I now have the templates. Ron is fine with me having these. He agrees it is a good idea to keep the files away from the computer. If we ever have to run out the door, it is a lot easier to grab a flash drive than it is to pick up a whole CPU, as we saw yesterday.
The guy went in the back for a while but talked to us as he worked. He had to finish up the first project he was working on, finished that, called the customer. Then he turned his attention to Ron.
I drank my soda and went next door, bought another one. It is a semi-rough area (I never seem to hang out in "decent" neighborhoods) and the store owner was a little leery when I walked in. I don't know why, I was well groomed, cleanly dressed, white woman. Once he got a good look at me he relaxed.
I bought a couple of diet Dr Peppers, I was delighted to see them, and a bag of baked chips. I don't believe in low fat dieting, tried that for years, but I do like the taste of those chips.
I went back, Ron was relieved the files were backed up. The clever computer guy told Ron he could put an old OS on one of his new computers. He could basically take everything Ron needed off his hard drive and put it on a new system. Ron was very interested, and his hardware is 10 years old, so about due I'd say. We might even be able to write it off. So we will likely do that next month as sales improve.
And suddenly we heard the computer talking. It was fixed. Ron nearly cried with relief and was very happy/relieved for a while. It was very pleasant to be around for a while.
We paid the man, Ron tried to give him a tip, but he wouldn't take it. So, when we got home, I wrote really excellent Google and Facebook reviews for his business. That will bring him some money! Like I told Ron, I only told the truth.
We called Arturo, he came in about 25 minutes (traffic). But he came. The computer guy took the CPU out to the cab and put it in the trunk, then I took Ron out. Arturo is very good about putting the wheelchair in the trunk. I am sure he would rather we both walked, but is very helpful.
If I could leave Arturo a Google review! Oh, it would be so good! We went home and I took the CPU into the garage, then I took Ron into the garage. Ron took the CPU into his lap and then we went into the house. Ron didn't really relax until the had the thing plugged in and talking again.
Then his mood crashed. Instead of being grateful, he was angry and bitter he had to go through the whole experience. Well, he unplugged his computer while it was booting, what did he expect? Thank God it could be fixed, but Ron was cursing God for allowing the whole experience.
I hoped he would resolve but he didn't. He was in a pretty bad mood by the time our driver came to take us to dinner. Ron demanded the driver put him in the back, more work for the driver but at least he didn't have to transfer. I always worry when Ron gets out of, or into, his wheelchair. I always worry he will fall. He looks like he will.
We got to the restaurant about an hour before closing. We went in and ordered our usual. I got Tikka Masala, Ron got Tikka Boti. Ron wanted his food to-go. I ate my food in the restaurant, I made a mess of it, getting sauce on my shirt, but that's why I have stain removing gel at home in the laundry room. I dunked my pan bread in the gravy and gave Ron some. He was annoyed because it wasn't garlic pan bread. I did an allergy blood test and it showed a reaction to garlic, so I have avoided garlic ever since.
I gave him some chicken, getting sauce in his shirt. He liked that so I gave him a couple bites. I had plenty to spare and he needs his protein anyway. I finished my food right as a big family came in 10 minutes before closing. The proprietor sighed, then went over with the menus and order pad. At least he is getting some business, I worry about them (it's a partnership) staying open. We paid our tab, tipped, and out the door right at 9:01. Ron made a crack to the other family about leaving.
There is a taqueria down the strip mall, that is open until 11. We went over there, went inside. I got a large diet soda and Ron got a margarita. They gave us chips and I ate a few. I also bought a stick of milk candy, I really like that stuff.
The callout computer ("Your ride is 10 minutes away") kept calling us, prompting a couple of alarmed calls to paratransit. Our pickup time was supposed to be 9:40. They told us twice that was correct.
I paid anyway just to be safe. The driver came early but we were ready to go. Ron's mood was better by this point. He had had very little of his drink.
We went home, I ate my milk candy and pretty much went straight to bed. Ron was quiet. I slept pretty well, woke up with a headache, and 2 cats in my bed. Since it was pretty early (7), Biscuit didn't walk on me, he just stared in my eyes and meowed pitifully as his big fat belly hung down, brushing the covers. He is huge!
We don't have any plans today. I got plenty of food at Walmart so I have lots to eat. I slept as late as I could, with the headache, (about 7:30) and took something for my headache. Then I got up and fed the cats.
Ron was hungry (for a change) so I fed him some of his tikka boti. He loved it and Baby Girl got in the bed with him, licking at chunks of chicken. I broke one up into smaller bits for her and she ate a few. I put the rest in her bowl. Ron ate several big chunks of chicken and I gave him his vitamins. I am trying to be more consistent about that. I need to have a track in my brain "When Ron eats he gets vitamins". I don't have it yet but I am working on it. But he got them, today, and I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day.
I bought myself Diet Mountain Dews (I adore them, and Diet Dr Peppers) at Walmart so I had one with my headache pills. I am certainly awake now.
I need to take a shower but will get that in a little bit. Now that the worst of my headache is gone, I need to eat a snack and take my antidepressant. I am battling some depression right now but it isn't too bad.
A lot of rest, and my medication, help a lot with that.
When Arturo took me home I told him we would be going to the computer guy. He said, give him a call when we're ready. I like that about Arturo, he's available.
If he isn't he tells us exactly how long it will take, and is very honest about the expected wait time. We have had other drivers lie to us and we don't use them anymore. Arturo does not lie.
So, I finally got Ron up, dressed. I put my Diet Dr Pepper on the back of the wheelchair (I always have some sort of bag on the back of the wheelchair). Ron called Arturo. He came in about 10 minutes. We had a hell of a time getting the computer into Ron's lap, out the door, and out to the cab. Once we did Arturo got the computer (cpu) into the back of the cab, along with the wheelchair, and off we went.
Ron called the computer guy and let him know we were coming. We got there and Arturo took the computer into the store, while I got Ron into the wheelchair. Then he came out and drove off while I took Ron up the single ramp and into the store.
The tech, a nice Vietnamese man (Houston has a pretty significant Vietnamese population, which I find awesome), was already at work. He told Ron the computer was 10 years old. I believe it. I had it for some years before I gave it to Ron.
Ron wanted to wait while he tried to fix it. I thought that was putting undue pressure, but Ron was paying, and the guy didn't tell us to leave. First thing he backed up all Ron's accounting files and gave them to me.
Now, from a legal standpoint that is really important, for me to have access. If I had to file a report (sales tax or our monthly) I would be able to do it, as I now have the templates. Ron is fine with me having these. He agrees it is a good idea to keep the files away from the computer. If we ever have to run out the door, it is a lot easier to grab a flash drive than it is to pick up a whole CPU, as we saw yesterday.
The guy went in the back for a while but talked to us as he worked. He had to finish up the first project he was working on, finished that, called the customer. Then he turned his attention to Ron.
I drank my soda and went next door, bought another one. It is a semi-rough area (I never seem to hang out in "decent" neighborhoods) and the store owner was a little leery when I walked in. I don't know why, I was well groomed, cleanly dressed, white woman. Once he got a good look at me he relaxed.
I bought a couple of diet Dr Peppers, I was delighted to see them, and a bag of baked chips. I don't believe in low fat dieting, tried that for years, but I do like the taste of those chips.
I went back, Ron was relieved the files were backed up. The clever computer guy told Ron he could put an old OS on one of his new computers. He could basically take everything Ron needed off his hard drive and put it on a new system. Ron was very interested, and his hardware is 10 years old, so about due I'd say. We might even be able to write it off. So we will likely do that next month as sales improve.
And suddenly we heard the computer talking. It was fixed. Ron nearly cried with relief and was very happy/relieved for a while. It was very pleasant to be around for a while.
We paid the man, Ron tried to give him a tip, but he wouldn't take it. So, when we got home, I wrote really excellent Google and Facebook reviews for his business. That will bring him some money! Like I told Ron, I only told the truth.
We called Arturo, he came in about 25 minutes (traffic). But he came. The computer guy took the CPU out to the cab and put it in the trunk, then I took Ron out. Arturo is very good about putting the wheelchair in the trunk. I am sure he would rather we both walked, but is very helpful.
If I could leave Arturo a Google review! Oh, it would be so good! We went home and I took the CPU into the garage, then I took Ron into the garage. Ron took the CPU into his lap and then we went into the house. Ron didn't really relax until the had the thing plugged in and talking again.
Then his mood crashed. Instead of being grateful, he was angry and bitter he had to go through the whole experience. Well, he unplugged his computer while it was booting, what did he expect? Thank God it could be fixed, but Ron was cursing God for allowing the whole experience.
I hoped he would resolve but he didn't. He was in a pretty bad mood by the time our driver came to take us to dinner. Ron demanded the driver put him in the back, more work for the driver but at least he didn't have to transfer. I always worry when Ron gets out of, or into, his wheelchair. I always worry he will fall. He looks like he will.
We got to the restaurant about an hour before closing. We went in and ordered our usual. I got Tikka Masala, Ron got Tikka Boti. Ron wanted his food to-go. I ate my food in the restaurant, I made a mess of it, getting sauce on my shirt, but that's why I have stain removing gel at home in the laundry room. I dunked my pan bread in the gravy and gave Ron some. He was annoyed because it wasn't garlic pan bread. I did an allergy blood test and it showed a reaction to garlic, so I have avoided garlic ever since.
I gave him some chicken, getting sauce in his shirt. He liked that so I gave him a couple bites. I had plenty to spare and he needs his protein anyway. I finished my food right as a big family came in 10 minutes before closing. The proprietor sighed, then went over with the menus and order pad. At least he is getting some business, I worry about them (it's a partnership) staying open. We paid our tab, tipped, and out the door right at 9:01. Ron made a crack to the other family about leaving.
There is a taqueria down the strip mall, that is open until 11. We went over there, went inside. I got a large diet soda and Ron got a margarita. They gave us chips and I ate a few. I also bought a stick of milk candy, I really like that stuff.
The callout computer ("Your ride is 10 minutes away") kept calling us, prompting a couple of alarmed calls to paratransit. Our pickup time was supposed to be 9:40. They told us twice that was correct.
I paid anyway just to be safe. The driver came early but we were ready to go. Ron's mood was better by this point. He had had very little of his drink.
We went home, I ate my milk candy and pretty much went straight to bed. Ron was quiet. I slept pretty well, woke up with a headache, and 2 cats in my bed. Since it was pretty early (7), Biscuit didn't walk on me, he just stared in my eyes and meowed pitifully as his big fat belly hung down, brushing the covers. He is huge!
We don't have any plans today. I got plenty of food at Walmart so I have lots to eat. I slept as late as I could, with the headache, (about 7:30) and took something for my headache. Then I got up and fed the cats.
Ron was hungry (for a change) so I fed him some of his tikka boti. He loved it and Baby Girl got in the bed with him, licking at chunks of chicken. I broke one up into smaller bits for her and she ate a few. I put the rest in her bowl. Ron ate several big chunks of chicken and I gave him his vitamins. I am trying to be more consistent about that. I need to have a track in my brain "When Ron eats he gets vitamins". I don't have it yet but I am working on it. But he got them, today, and I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day.
I bought myself Diet Mountain Dews (I adore them, and Diet Dr Peppers) at Walmart so I had one with my headache pills. I am certainly awake now.
I need to take a shower but will get that in a little bit. Now that the worst of my headache is gone, I need to eat a snack and take my antidepressant. I am battling some depression right now but it isn't too bad.
A lot of rest, and my medication, help a lot with that.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Well, he was happy for a while
But now we are back to the status quo of bitter and angry. Ugh. COUNT your blessings.
Computer is fixed
I have all the accounting files on a flash drive, too.
Glad that is over. Ron's mood vastly improved.
Tuesday
Annoyed at Ron.
First, I slept really late this morning, for me - 8 AM. Not so notable but I went to bed at 7. PM, the night before. I am a firm believer that solid emotional and physical health is linked to solid sleep.
If I need a lot of sleep, I take it. I have a condition, with a worse mortality rate than breast cancer. That's pretty serious. Bipolar kills about a quarter of the people who have it.
I had a pretty good wakeup with Biscuit in my bed, begging for breakfast. I got up and fed him.
I forgot to tell you, yesterday was cute. I got up a couple hours early, checked on our pickup, fed the cats, and went back to bed for an hour. After a few minutes of eating, Biscuit joined me, only to beg for an additional breakfast when I finally did get up for good!
He would have so much fun if I had dementia, and couldn't remember when I fed him. He could just beg and beg and eat constantly.
So, this morning, I got up, fed them, I forget what Ron's mood was like so it couldn't have been too bad. I took the shower bench out of the bathtub enclosure.
It is awkward, and gets in my way. Ron doesn't use it, he prefers a straight bath. I used it because I was having some lightheaded moments with the Risperidone. I worried I might fall - although there are no reports of falls or fainting associated with the drug. And surely someone would have by now. Just a little lightheaded sometimes.
But the trade off wasn't worth it. It was hard to wash my feet without getting them under the water flow, turning around, etc. So I took it and put it back in the garage, then took a shower without.
I noticed, brushing my hair, the ends were pretty dry and the roots were not greasy. Now and then, of late, I have skipped washing my hair *every day* and it has been fine. I went ahead and washed it today, but put shower caps on my list of things to buy at Walmart.
Ron wanted some things. That was fine, I understood he didn't want to go, but needed various items. He gave me $20 for a cab one way but no money for stuff, told me he would pay me later. He is generally very good about that.
Baby Girl was lying in bed with him. Torbie joined them and Ron pushed Torbie out of bed, then called her back and only gave Torbie treats. I told him, if he did that, he would breed ill will between the two cats, and if he was giving treats to one cat he had better give treats to the other. Sad to see Ron playing head games with the cats.
I got my bags, and my garage door remote, and called Arturo, who was only a couple minutes away. He took me to the store. I talked about the cats on the way.
I started shopping. I called Ron with a question or two and he answered me. He seemed to be in a positive mood, good spirits. I finished my shopping and asked him if he wanted something from the deli. He said no. He seemed surly.
It was safe to assume he had been drinking, but he had been talking about taking his computer to the guy to get it fixed today. I guess I assumed he would stay pretty sober for that.
Computer repair, is, to me, a sobering subject. Although my last computer didn't die, it just had a lot of blue screens so Ron bought me a new one and took my old one. The old one is the one that died, Ron says he did something to it but won't tell me what.
Anyway, I got some candy for the repairman. That's just smart to me. Service people love chocolate, whether they are medical or technical. The only exception to that, our vending machine repairman seems to be on healthy eating now..
I called Arturo (I told him I would give him first crack at my ride home), he said yes and I went outside to wait. It was pretty nice and sunny. Since I am running a little depressed I am sure the vitamin D and sunshine will help. It sure can't hurt.
That's the sort of thing I like to try first. Or in addition to my medication.
Arturo came and we went home. I got in the house, Ron was in bed, very surly and argumentative. He actually threw a canister of cat treats on the floor (no cats were around). I corrected him on that and demanded he give them back.
I remember thinking "I paid over $25 to get home to you, and I get this?"
He was in a really bad mood and said he wanted to sleep. Said he would get up in a couple of hours. So I left him alone. A while ago, he told me he was hungry. I reminded him he said he didn't want anything from the deli, when I called (he had been pretty rude about it and called me a "food pusher", then making a crack about my weight). I gave him a protein granola bar and he ate that.
His alarm should be going off pretty soon, then we go to the computer guy. I need to find an old flash drive because I am pretty sure the one he bought today will not work with his old computer operating system.
We will have to wait on the verdict. Can the old computer be saved?
First, I slept really late this morning, for me - 8 AM. Not so notable but I went to bed at 7. PM, the night before. I am a firm believer that solid emotional and physical health is linked to solid sleep.
If I need a lot of sleep, I take it. I have a condition, with a worse mortality rate than breast cancer. That's pretty serious. Bipolar kills about a quarter of the people who have it.
I had a pretty good wakeup with Biscuit in my bed, begging for breakfast. I got up and fed him.
I forgot to tell you, yesterday was cute. I got up a couple hours early, checked on our pickup, fed the cats, and went back to bed for an hour. After a few minutes of eating, Biscuit joined me, only to beg for an additional breakfast when I finally did get up for good!
He would have so much fun if I had dementia, and couldn't remember when I fed him. He could just beg and beg and eat constantly.
So, this morning, I got up, fed them, I forget what Ron's mood was like so it couldn't have been too bad. I took the shower bench out of the bathtub enclosure.
It is awkward, and gets in my way. Ron doesn't use it, he prefers a straight bath. I used it because I was having some lightheaded moments with the Risperidone. I worried I might fall - although there are no reports of falls or fainting associated with the drug. And surely someone would have by now. Just a little lightheaded sometimes.
But the trade off wasn't worth it. It was hard to wash my feet without getting them under the water flow, turning around, etc. So I took it and put it back in the garage, then took a shower without.
I noticed, brushing my hair, the ends were pretty dry and the roots were not greasy. Now and then, of late, I have skipped washing my hair *every day* and it has been fine. I went ahead and washed it today, but put shower caps on my list of things to buy at Walmart.
Ron wanted some things. That was fine, I understood he didn't want to go, but needed various items. He gave me $20 for a cab one way but no money for stuff, told me he would pay me later. He is generally very good about that.
Baby Girl was lying in bed with him. Torbie joined them and Ron pushed Torbie out of bed, then called her back and only gave Torbie treats. I told him, if he did that, he would breed ill will between the two cats, and if he was giving treats to one cat he had better give treats to the other. Sad to see Ron playing head games with the cats.
I got my bags, and my garage door remote, and called Arturo, who was only a couple minutes away. He took me to the store. I talked about the cats on the way.
I started shopping. I called Ron with a question or two and he answered me. He seemed to be in a positive mood, good spirits. I finished my shopping and asked him if he wanted something from the deli. He said no. He seemed surly.
It was safe to assume he had been drinking, but he had been talking about taking his computer to the guy to get it fixed today. I guess I assumed he would stay pretty sober for that.
Computer repair, is, to me, a sobering subject. Although my last computer didn't die, it just had a lot of blue screens so Ron bought me a new one and took my old one. The old one is the one that died, Ron says he did something to it but won't tell me what.
Anyway, I got some candy for the repairman. That's just smart to me. Service people love chocolate, whether they are medical or technical. The only exception to that, our vending machine repairman seems to be on healthy eating now..
I called Arturo (I told him I would give him first crack at my ride home), he said yes and I went outside to wait. It was pretty nice and sunny. Since I am running a little depressed I am sure the vitamin D and sunshine will help. It sure can't hurt.
That's the sort of thing I like to try first. Or in addition to my medication.
Arturo came and we went home. I got in the house, Ron was in bed, very surly and argumentative. He actually threw a canister of cat treats on the floor (no cats were around). I corrected him on that and demanded he give them back.
I remember thinking "I paid over $25 to get home to you, and I get this?"
He was in a really bad mood and said he wanted to sleep. Said he would get up in a couple of hours. So I left him alone. A while ago, he told me he was hungry. I reminded him he said he didn't want anything from the deli, when I called (he had been pretty rude about it and called me a "food pusher", then making a crack about my weight). I gave him a protein granola bar and he ate that.
His alarm should be going off pretty soon, then we go to the computer guy. I need to find an old flash drive because I am pretty sure the one he bought today will not work with his old computer operating system.
We will have to wait on the verdict. Can the old computer be saved?
Monday, November 26, 2018
Monday Morning
I slept pretty good, with those handsome kitties you saw in the photo (if you're sighted). I got up, got ready, got Ron ready.
Ron was in a bad mood so I decided to leave my Christmas stuff at home. I would require his assistance in moving it. Generally he is good about it but I don't like to push it.
We got to work and began stocking. I did my usual help Ron first. We finished up all that work and then they brought in a podium, tables, and a speaker system. Someone was going to make a speech. I took Ron out in the quiet hallway and left him there. He was very grateful.
They were doing a fund raising drive. I can only speak to myself but I prefer to give privately. A speech is not going to make me donate, it will probably put my back up. It was ironic, as I was writing about this elsewhere Ron was calling Salvation Army to come and get some coats I don't want anymore (don't fit). So, I give - but I don't like an audience. I don't even keep the gift receipt. I had to stand, stocking, and listen to one person after another give speeches on the subject.
One thing I found a little eeky - they wanted the donor to write their social security number on the form. I wouldn't be doing that. That's the nice thing about doing an autopay over the phone or online - all they want is the credit card number.
They also wanted the non-donors to fill out the form and write a big X on it to indicate they would not be donating. That just seems a little personal to me.
But what do I know. I stocked quickly and we headed out pretty early. We came home and Ron got his computer. But he hasn't heard from the computer guy so he doesn't want to go to the store. I had a headache and took some Excedrin. Ron told me to take a nap but that is not happening with Excedrin - not unless I had a migraine, which I don't. This is a mild to moderate, and the pills chased it off.
Ron is asleep right now with Baby Girl, and I am at my computer waiting for either the computer guy to call or 2 PM to come along so we can go get some Waffle House. I may watch some TV, I'm not sure.
I'll keep you posted.
Ron was in a bad mood so I decided to leave my Christmas stuff at home. I would require his assistance in moving it. Generally he is good about it but I don't like to push it.
We got to work and began stocking. I did my usual help Ron first. We finished up all that work and then they brought in a podium, tables, and a speaker system. Someone was going to make a speech. I took Ron out in the quiet hallway and left him there. He was very grateful.
They were doing a fund raising drive. I can only speak to myself but I prefer to give privately. A speech is not going to make me donate, it will probably put my back up. It was ironic, as I was writing about this elsewhere Ron was calling Salvation Army to come and get some coats I don't want anymore (don't fit). So, I give - but I don't like an audience. I don't even keep the gift receipt. I had to stand, stocking, and listen to one person after another give speeches on the subject.
One thing I found a little eeky - they wanted the donor to write their social security number on the form. I wouldn't be doing that. That's the nice thing about doing an autopay over the phone or online - all they want is the credit card number.
They also wanted the non-donors to fill out the form and write a big X on it to indicate they would not be donating. That just seems a little personal to me.
But what do I know. I stocked quickly and we headed out pretty early. We came home and Ron got his computer. But he hasn't heard from the computer guy so he doesn't want to go to the store. I had a headache and took some Excedrin. Ron told me to take a nap but that is not happening with Excedrin - not unless I had a migraine, which I don't. This is a mild to moderate, and the pills chased it off.
Ron is asleep right now with Baby Girl, and I am at my computer waiting for either the computer guy to call or 2 PM to come along so we can go get some Waffle House. I may watch some TV, I'm not sure.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Sunday, part 2
He woke up. Very condescending and hateful to me. I called him on it - being condescending. He argued he wasn't and got worse.
I really thought, back in 2003, after the accident, that things would be different. Yes, Ron had his problems before the accident, but, for a while after, he was very sweet and kind. I falsely believed that man would endure. That Ron would appreciate the sacrifices I had made for him (including giving up my career to help run his business), cherish me, and treat me with respect.
All that was shattered a few months after our wedding when, drunk, he "didn't like my tone" and began choking me, saying "You want a monster? I'll be one!". I managed to get him off me but something died that day.
So we are going to get something to eat now. He has proven stubborn and resistant to getting dressed, etc.
At least Baby Girl was sweet and cute, made biscuits on the bed, purring, let us pet her. She can be very cute when she puts her mind to it.
Well, I wish I could say it was uneventful.
Our driver was late, and pulled up as I was throwing something into the recycle bin. I walked up to say hello and she scowled at me. I recognized her as one of the not-very-friendly drivers. She just hates Ron.
I made a joking comment about "them" "punishing" her by giving her our trip, she scowled again and said "Just go get him". Oh-kay.
I didn't say anything to Ron. I had him outside in 2 minutes. We get out to the cab and she is BLASTING the dispatch radio. Some drivers like to do that, turn the dispatch radio up to earsplitting levels and claim it is the "only way they can hear the dispatcher". They don't seem to be hearing impaired so I don't agree.
Anyway, Ron balked at getting into the vehicle with the radio turned up that loud. I didn't blame him. It was really bad.
She kept saying it "wasn't that loud" and "You're the only one complaining". I quickly told her I, also, objected to the volume level. It was tremendously loud, far in excess if anything I would consider normal.
She had to know it would upset Ron, he doesn't even like music at a loud level these days. I asked her to turn it down. She said she would once Ron got into the vehicle. Ron said he wouldn't until she turned the volume down.
He reminded her he is blind and "very sensitive to sound". The driver then said she had a blind client in the cab already who enjoyed the loud volume and "Wanted to hear what is going on". Ron said that was too bad, but it had to be turned down.
I will remind you it was at an earsplitting level the whole time. They got into a shouting match - very unprofessional on her part. She finally turned it down and Ron got in the cab.
She said he had to stop yelling. I tried to remind her he had a head injury, she didn't want to hear it. I did manage to get her to hear: he will calm down in a minute or two if you leave him alone. When Ron gets overwhelmed like that it IS the head injury, and if he is left alone in relative quiet he will calm down quickly.
She angrily threw the wheelchair into the proper compartment, cursing under her breath and banging things as hard as she could. Ron calmed down, as advertised, within a minute or two and began apologizing.
It is important to note that Ron apologized for shouting at the driver; but she never apologized for shouting at him. She made a big production out of giving him the silent treatment.
He has his issues but he's not as bad as that. That's not saying much.
Ron even said he wanted to buy her dinner, she gritted her teeth. I made a joke about that being it, he couldn't get her phone number as I was beginning to rethink "this open marriage thing". Ron almost fell out of his seat laughing. She really didn't like that. The other client snorted.
We got to our stop, more banging the wheelchair. She practically threw it at us and watched as Ron carefully got out. He usually gets out on the passenger side, so it was more difficult for him getting out behind the driver. But he got out OK (boy, that would have been a mess if he fell!) and we went in to dinner.
It was really busy. I asked for a table on "that" side of the restaurant. They generally put the families with babies and small children on one side, I asked for the other. We got that. Our server was pretty busy but we got our food. Ron's was prepared the way he wanted it and I enjoyed my chicken strips.
We had a pretty good meal but it was very loud, we decided to wait outside. It was cool, I wished I had brought my jacket, and Ron found out unfortunately we would have the same driver going home.
I saw her come early, talking on her cell phone. She is not allowed to talk on her cell phone when she has a client. So she went in the back of the restaurant and continued her conversation for about 10 minutes as we froze in the cold. I did not relate this to Ron.
As far as Ron is concerned, she suddenly pulled up. No loud dispatch radio, just some quiet music. Still giving Ron the silent treatment. I talked back and forth with Ron about our trips for tomorrow. She gritted her teeth with every exchange, I made sure to be bright and impermeable. It drove her nuts.
The only thing that would have been worse is if we'd talked about the cats. She got us home as quickly as possible.
I believe her cab has a serious transmission issue. At one point, it died completely. She managed to get it restarted.
I really didn't want to get stuck with such a sour, bitter, woman for any longer than necessary. We got home and I put the leftovers in the fridge.
I have to go to work in about 12 hours. Less, actually. The cats greeted us at the door and Baby Girl went off with Ron to the back bedroom.
I'll be going to bed pretty soon, but I will probably watch some Christmas love stories on TV first. I don't do Lifetime, ever. But my other channel has some good stuff.
It's been a long day. I'm glad I slept in.
I really thought, back in 2003, after the accident, that things would be different. Yes, Ron had his problems before the accident, but, for a while after, he was very sweet and kind. I falsely believed that man would endure. That Ron would appreciate the sacrifices I had made for him (including giving up my career to help run his business), cherish me, and treat me with respect.
All that was shattered a few months after our wedding when, drunk, he "didn't like my tone" and began choking me, saying "You want a monster? I'll be one!". I managed to get him off me but something died that day.
So we are going to get something to eat now. He has proven stubborn and resistant to getting dressed, etc.
At least Baby Girl was sweet and cute, made biscuits on the bed, purring, let us pet her. She can be very cute when she puts her mind to it.
Well, I wish I could say it was uneventful.
Our driver was late, and pulled up as I was throwing something into the recycle bin. I walked up to say hello and she scowled at me. I recognized her as one of the not-very-friendly drivers. She just hates Ron.
I made a joking comment about "them" "punishing" her by giving her our trip, she scowled again and said "Just go get him". Oh-kay.
I didn't say anything to Ron. I had him outside in 2 minutes. We get out to the cab and she is BLASTING the dispatch radio. Some drivers like to do that, turn the dispatch radio up to earsplitting levels and claim it is the "only way they can hear the dispatcher". They don't seem to be hearing impaired so I don't agree.
Anyway, Ron balked at getting into the vehicle with the radio turned up that loud. I didn't blame him. It was really bad.
She kept saying it "wasn't that loud" and "You're the only one complaining". I quickly told her I, also, objected to the volume level. It was tremendously loud, far in excess if anything I would consider normal.
She had to know it would upset Ron, he doesn't even like music at a loud level these days. I asked her to turn it down. She said she would once Ron got into the vehicle. Ron said he wouldn't until she turned the volume down.
He reminded her he is blind and "very sensitive to sound". The driver then said she had a blind client in the cab already who enjoyed the loud volume and "Wanted to hear what is going on". Ron said that was too bad, but it had to be turned down.
I will remind you it was at an earsplitting level the whole time. They got into a shouting match - very unprofessional on her part. She finally turned it down and Ron got in the cab.
She said he had to stop yelling. I tried to remind her he had a head injury, she didn't want to hear it. I did manage to get her to hear: he will calm down in a minute or two if you leave him alone. When Ron gets overwhelmed like that it IS the head injury, and if he is left alone in relative quiet he will calm down quickly.
She angrily threw the wheelchair into the proper compartment, cursing under her breath and banging things as hard as she could. Ron calmed down, as advertised, within a minute or two and began apologizing.
It is important to note that Ron apologized for shouting at the driver; but she never apologized for shouting at him. She made a big production out of giving him the silent treatment.
He has his issues but he's not as bad as that. That's not saying much.
Ron even said he wanted to buy her dinner, she gritted her teeth. I made a joke about that being it, he couldn't get her phone number as I was beginning to rethink "this open marriage thing". Ron almost fell out of his seat laughing. She really didn't like that. The other client snorted.
We got to our stop, more banging the wheelchair. She practically threw it at us and watched as Ron carefully got out. He usually gets out on the passenger side, so it was more difficult for him getting out behind the driver. But he got out OK (boy, that would have been a mess if he fell!) and we went in to dinner.
It was really busy. I asked for a table on "that" side of the restaurant. They generally put the families with babies and small children on one side, I asked for the other. We got that. Our server was pretty busy but we got our food. Ron's was prepared the way he wanted it and I enjoyed my chicken strips.
We had a pretty good meal but it was very loud, we decided to wait outside. It was cool, I wished I had brought my jacket, and Ron found out unfortunately we would have the same driver going home.
I saw her come early, talking on her cell phone. She is not allowed to talk on her cell phone when she has a client. So she went in the back of the restaurant and continued her conversation for about 10 minutes as we froze in the cold. I did not relate this to Ron.
As far as Ron is concerned, she suddenly pulled up. No loud dispatch radio, just some quiet music. Still giving Ron the silent treatment. I talked back and forth with Ron about our trips for tomorrow. She gritted her teeth with every exchange, I made sure to be bright and impermeable. It drove her nuts.
The only thing that would have been worse is if we'd talked about the cats. She got us home as quickly as possible.
I believe her cab has a serious transmission issue. At one point, it died completely. She managed to get it restarted.
I really didn't want to get stuck with such a sour, bitter, woman for any longer than necessary. We got home and I put the leftovers in the fridge.
I have to go to work in about 12 hours. Less, actually. The cats greeted us at the door and Baby Girl went off with Ron to the back bedroom.
I'll be going to bed pretty soon, but I will probably watch some Christmas love stories on TV first. I don't do Lifetime, ever. But my other channel has some good stuff.
It's been a long day. I'm glad I slept in.
Sunday
Last night was interesting.
Ron wanted to watch a movie "From Here to Eternity". I turned it on in the middle and guys were drinking heavily. I turned it off. I have enough alcoholism at home.
I heard a voice, not very loud, outside the front of my house. My front yard is maybe 30 feet wide. I looked out front and the young man in #2 was getting into a car and leaving. With no loud music. I find it interesting his mother (?) is more "thug" than he is. He is a delight as a neighbor. I really enjoy him. If my cats were running loose I bet he would like them, and that's my highest endorsement. I can't say enough about him.
In the meantime, I knew it was time for #6 to have the birthday party for their youngest, who is now 4. I expected the usual uproar outside with kids crashing off the side of my house, screaming until 'all hours", etc. I saw the cars and SUV's stacking up in the street, and girded myself.
And they were very quiet. I don't see how they had a party with - what - 15-20 guests and only one working bathroom, but they did. I didn't even hear them leave.
#6 is exhibiting a lot more maturity, lately, in his parties. I still expect the "Until 3 AM" uproar party on Christmas eve - that is a standard for them. Way to ruin Christmas for all the neighbors. I feel sorry for #8, they just moved in and have no idea what to expect. They are in for quite a shock.
But, the rest of the time, he has proven pretty quiet except for the incessant, ongoing, remodels. I don't get people who fix their house, then rip it all out and "fix" it again a year later. It would be a lot cheaper to just buy a "better" house and leave it at that.
We may need to get a new toilet. I suspect the manufacturer made it to only last a couple of years, then be replaced. It just doesn't flush well and that can be embarrassing when someone comes over, they have to flush it 3 times just to get some urine and toilet paper down the drain. I am really disappointed. I thought they made quality toilets these days.
My previous toilet was good for 30 years before we replaced it. It still worked pretty well except for outlet problems, and a crack in the side where I believe Ron fell on it during a blackout. Ron has been pretty hard on the bathroom during his blackouts. Back in 2005 he had one so bad he fell and put his head through the wall of the tub.
Lucky for him, we had the wrong drywall, it was all soft and the wood behind it rotted (which resulted in an extensive repair job in 2012), but his head went right through the wall, showing the rotted stud. Our handyman had to screw the patch onto the tub because we had no viable wood at that level. And it pointed out a problem we didn't know we had.
Had the tub been walled "properly" he would have broken his head, his neck, or both. It's fine now, I stayed in 2 hotels this month and neither was as nice as my tub. I wish I could tell Pete that. He's the one who fixed it for the love of Jesus. He's a good man.
God has sent me some good people.
So I slept great last night, I had Torbie and Biscuit again. I don't know if Baby Girl slept with Ron or not. They were playing "get the hand" this morning so they are "talking".
I woke up and realized no doctor appointments this week, not even a shot. I just have to give him his vitamins. And he needs to call the MRI place so he can get that done for his pain doc. Doc wants to do injections into Ron's back, with what I read from his blood thinner inserts, that would be a bad idea. You can end up with blood clots in the spine which lead to paralysis. We don't need that. So I think we will abstain.
I laid it all out pretty clearly for Ron and he agrees. It's his body so I will abide by his decision. I just told him, if he does it, he should probably go off the blood thinners for a while first.
I think he sees blood clots as a bigger threat, they have put him in the hospital twice so far. Better to just do the magnets and pills for the back.
Conservative. Although Doc is a wonderful sweet man.
I have about 3 hours before our ride to get some lunch. I need to take a shower for sure and will probably do more house cleaning. I have a couple more litter boxes need doing.
I'm pretty much caught up on laundry, finally. I just need to finish drying that load and get them hung up.
Then, after we eat, I need to take Ron's clothes he's been wearing, dehair them, and put them in the pile of dirty clothes. I always have a clothes pile pending. When it gets big enough I wash it.
Jeans have to be balanced, so I have an old pair I don't wear any more I will use to counterbalance the washer if I only have one pair. Ron hates jeans, prefers twill pants, oversized, so he looks a little like a gang banger. He says he doesn't want any rubbing on his neuropathy. Khaki doesn't work for him, they get dirty too fast, so I buy him black.
Black is great, but we have two brown tabbies and a white and gray cat. And Biscuit sheds a lot of white.
So, when the load finishes, I will hang it up. I really like the new socks I bought at Walmart, they are Gildan, polyester and nylon, ankle socks, very fitting, in a slightly larger size because I have wide feet. They are very affordable. They feel good on my foot and they don't get soggy when I sweat.
I am still debating whether I will get rid of all my old socks or keep them. The old socks are all different types, all ankle crews but other than that different brands and all. I hate to throw them away but I also hate to dig around and match them!
That's it for now, I will let you know if anything interesting happens at dinner.
Ron wanted to watch a movie "From Here to Eternity". I turned it on in the middle and guys were drinking heavily. I turned it off. I have enough alcoholism at home.
I heard a voice, not very loud, outside the front of my house. My front yard is maybe 30 feet wide. I looked out front and the young man in #2 was getting into a car and leaving. With no loud music. I find it interesting his mother (?) is more "thug" than he is. He is a delight as a neighbor. I really enjoy him. If my cats were running loose I bet he would like them, and that's my highest endorsement. I can't say enough about him.
In the meantime, I knew it was time for #6 to have the birthday party for their youngest, who is now 4. I expected the usual uproar outside with kids crashing off the side of my house, screaming until 'all hours", etc. I saw the cars and SUV's stacking up in the street, and girded myself.
And they were very quiet. I don't see how they had a party with - what - 15-20 guests and only one working bathroom, but they did. I didn't even hear them leave.
#6 is exhibiting a lot more maturity, lately, in his parties. I still expect the "Until 3 AM" uproar party on Christmas eve - that is a standard for them. Way to ruin Christmas for all the neighbors. I feel sorry for #8, they just moved in and have no idea what to expect. They are in for quite a shock.
But, the rest of the time, he has proven pretty quiet except for the incessant, ongoing, remodels. I don't get people who fix their house, then rip it all out and "fix" it again a year later. It would be a lot cheaper to just buy a "better" house and leave it at that.
We may need to get a new toilet. I suspect the manufacturer made it to only last a couple of years, then be replaced. It just doesn't flush well and that can be embarrassing when someone comes over, they have to flush it 3 times just to get some urine and toilet paper down the drain. I am really disappointed. I thought they made quality toilets these days.
My previous toilet was good for 30 years before we replaced it. It still worked pretty well except for outlet problems, and a crack in the side where I believe Ron fell on it during a blackout. Ron has been pretty hard on the bathroom during his blackouts. Back in 2005 he had one so bad he fell and put his head through the wall of the tub.
Lucky for him, we had the wrong drywall, it was all soft and the wood behind it rotted (which resulted in an extensive repair job in 2012), but his head went right through the wall, showing the rotted stud. Our handyman had to screw the patch onto the tub because we had no viable wood at that level. And it pointed out a problem we didn't know we had.
Had the tub been walled "properly" he would have broken his head, his neck, or both. It's fine now, I stayed in 2 hotels this month and neither was as nice as my tub. I wish I could tell Pete that. He's the one who fixed it for the love of Jesus. He's a good man.
God has sent me some good people.
So I slept great last night, I had Torbie and Biscuit again. I don't know if Baby Girl slept with Ron or not. They were playing "get the hand" this morning so they are "talking".
I woke up and realized no doctor appointments this week, not even a shot. I just have to give him his vitamins. And he needs to call the MRI place so he can get that done for his pain doc. Doc wants to do injections into Ron's back, with what I read from his blood thinner inserts, that would be a bad idea. You can end up with blood clots in the spine which lead to paralysis. We don't need that. So I think we will abstain.
I laid it all out pretty clearly for Ron and he agrees. It's his body so I will abide by his decision. I just told him, if he does it, he should probably go off the blood thinners for a while first.
I think he sees blood clots as a bigger threat, they have put him in the hospital twice so far. Better to just do the magnets and pills for the back.
Conservative. Although Doc is a wonderful sweet man.
I have about 3 hours before our ride to get some lunch. I need to take a shower for sure and will probably do more house cleaning. I have a couple more litter boxes need doing.
I'm pretty much caught up on laundry, finally. I just need to finish drying that load and get them hung up.
Then, after we eat, I need to take Ron's clothes he's been wearing, dehair them, and put them in the pile of dirty clothes. I always have a clothes pile pending. When it gets big enough I wash it.
Jeans have to be balanced, so I have an old pair I don't wear any more I will use to counterbalance the washer if I only have one pair. Ron hates jeans, prefers twill pants, oversized, so he looks a little like a gang banger. He says he doesn't want any rubbing on his neuropathy. Khaki doesn't work for him, they get dirty too fast, so I buy him black.
Black is great, but we have two brown tabbies and a white and gray cat. And Biscuit sheds a lot of white.
So, when the load finishes, I will hang it up. I really like the new socks I bought at Walmart, they are Gildan, polyester and nylon, ankle socks, very fitting, in a slightly larger size because I have wide feet. They are very affordable. They feel good on my foot and they don't get soggy when I sweat.
I am still debating whether I will get rid of all my old socks or keep them. The old socks are all different types, all ankle crews but other than that different brands and all. I hate to throw them away but I also hate to dig around and match them!
That's it for now, I will let you know if anything interesting happens at dinner.
Saturday, November 24, 2018
"I'm going to have a blackout"
Well, I didn't kill him today. I feel like I deserve a prize.
I did sleep pretty well last night, with Torbie AND Biscuit. Torbie slept by my head like she does. I have found only the very old cats do this, and, when they start, I only have a couple of years left. But I've talked a lot about Torbie's mortality and how I plan to enjoy every minute.
I got up late but had time to take my shower. Ron started off the day belligerent and hostile, literally shouting at God and cursing Him.
I just focused on getting us ready.
I got him out and into the vehicle. He didn't want to change his clothes so he didn't look fantastic, but I did what I could. I had to choose my battles.
We got onto the vehicle. Ron was still in a bad mood cursing God out and yelling. I couldn't remember if I had locked the front door. I asked the driver to let me off so I could quickly check. She did - as Ron shouted "No, don't let her go!".
I checked, it was fine. I came back. Ron continued on his theme, I told the driver "I shouldn't have come back" and she nodded in agreement.
Then Ron starts up about sex for some unknown reason. He starts going on about how I am so fat and repulsive to him (not his exact words) how my weight was such an utter and complete turn off, etc. The driver is just staring straight ahead, not responding. I didn't say anything because he was trying to provoke a reaction. I weigh less than 250 pounds. I can still shop at Walmart, it may be a plus size but they fit well. I have maintained where I am for well over 10 years now. You have seen my photos, you can reach your own conclusion.
I didn't say anything because I think he was trying to get me upset. I really think the theme of the day was Ron behaving as badly as possible and trying to make me as miserable as he feels he is. I truly believe that was the issue today.
Ron kept going on about how broken he was, nothing worked, etc. Then he said he understood why I found him repulsive. I told him "I never said that" and then reminded him I married a blind man in a wheelchair "I had a pretty good idea what to expect." He tried to argue with me and finally ended that line of conversation.
He went back to yelling at God. I was so glad it was a relatively short trip and the driver would be done with him. We got there and she unloaded him swiftly.
We went in the store. They have a new greeter now, he said hello. Ron bitched they had taken away the free food (and coffee, but he doesn't drink coffee) and he wanted his banana bread. I told him he meant the lemon cake - one time a greeter got him some banana bread after he asked for it and he said, he wanted the other one, meaning lemon cake. It's a head injury thing. I know someone else like that - the wrong word comes out sometimes.
I got my cart and Ron gave me the money, said I had a budget this time. That was fine. I had a lot of snacks at work already.
I went and got everything on the list. He texted me "Let's talk", so I called him. He still had the same mindset, he just wanted me to buy him "banana bread" or some popcorn. I told him they didn't sell the popcorn, he meant "lemon cake" and they were only sold in a combo unit with other cake neither of us would eat. Not to mention pretty expensive for a couple slices.
Fine, he said, get him some cookies. I asked him if he wanted the chocolate chip or the combo? The combo. So I got that.
I paid and checked out. One of the associates pushed my cart to the door - it was pretty heavy, I didn't envy her. It was loaded with sodas, etc.
I gave Ron some cookies, which he ate, and his mood improved a little. He has a very bad habit of not wanting to eat at home, getting hungry "out" and then getting cranky. But if I ask him to eat or try to provide something, generally he says no.
Jack came. He told me his wife is doing pretty good, she needs a little chemo and radiation but the surgery got it all. That's good to know.
Ron started talking about death and how, if she died, it wouldn't be that bad. I was aghast and kept trying to shut him up. That's not something you say to the spouse of a cancer victim, especially one who has good odds of recovery. Jack was OK and he and Ron talked about death in general for a while on the way to work.
We got to work. I got Ron in the building. Everything was working. I got the carts and went outside, got them loaded. Then I brought them in. Then helping Ron for some time. At one point he kept getting confused. He had 2 sodas (cases) in his lap and he kept reversing them, this is orange, this is root beer, but he had it backwards. I kept telling him that and he kept getting more and more confused and upset.
In the future, I think I will just pick them up and put them in the "proper" sequence. Anyway, more lashing out at me. Eventually they got stocked.
We had a refund, I dealt with it pretty well I think.
I was able to do some stocking but not much, between putting my merchandise away and helping Ron. But I did get some of it.
I got a new Pop Tart to put in the snack machines today, Brown Sugar and Cinnamon. It will be interesting to see how they do. I have a row of Strawberry and one now of the Brown Sugar, so we will see which sells better.
I suspect some of the Strawberry crowd were getting a little fatigued. I will be curious to see how they sell.
See, marketing can be an interesting subject. But that speaker made it so BORING at the conference. It's like fishing, put out your bait (merchandise) and see who bites. If they like a certain product a lot buy more of it. If they like a certain type, like baked or hot, then sell more.
It can be a lot of fun. At least I think so. That is one good thing about Ron as a boss, he has given me a LOT of rope with regards to the snack machine - I can do pretty much whatever I want. I enjoy that.
We left. We had a very nice driver to come home and Ron pretty much behaved.
All day at work, he kept talking about how he was going to "have a blackout" when he got home. I told him I thought he only drank for the back pain. Not always, he replied, and then informed me sometimes he "just wanted to tune out".
Earlier in the day I had told him, if we were pointing fingers about addiction, he had to look at himself and drinking. Apparently that bounced off.
He kept going on about how much fun it would be to "have a blackout". Even told me I had better leave him alone because he was "going to have a blackout" and he wouldn't be responsible. Then went so far as to say, if he was verbally abusing me, I should ignore him because he was "having a blackout" and, implied nothing was more important that day than him tuning out.
I was disgusted and disappointed. He isn't even pretending any more. It used to be, if I said he was drinking to get high, he would vehemently deny it and say he "needed" it for his back. I believe he does have a pain issue. I believe it can be severe.
But I don't believe he "needs" alcohol the way he says he does, and I certainly don't believe he "needs to tune out". If your emotions are that bad, then it is time to get counseling and medication. Trust me, I know.
But he won't admit he needs help and I can't do anything until he does. Anything up to that point will just be seen as unwanted nagging and he will become even more resistant.
We got home. I ate a can of spaghetti and took my pills. Ron said he "owed" me money for a pizza - I had delivery about a week ago and paid for it myself. He said he would have paid for pizza but I told him I was fine.
After taking my pills, I laid down with Torbie and Biscuit - notice how Biscuit is assuming the "cuddler" role before I lose Torbie? I heard Ron in the kitchen. He finally wanted the "plate" from Thanksgiving. He got drunk first and then ate it, loved the food.
My aunt is a good cook. He called her on his cell phone and said "No one" (meaning me, I suppose) "knew how to cook like that". So that is why I sold hundreds of chicken dinner plates every Friday, and literal gallons of chicken noodle soup, spaghetti, ham-bean soup, etc. back when we had the deli. I had people buying food 2 hours in advance.
He finally shut up and I went to sleep. They are still making noise next door with the remodel, going on 3 weeks. They had carpet on the trailer today. It didn't appear to be a very high quality. With 8 people in the house you are going to want something high-traffic. Or you will just have to have handymen out in another year or two to replace it.
I still managed to get a pretty good nap. After all, I had Torbie and Biscuit. Baby Girl only slept with me the night Bubba died. She does allow me to pet her, and rub her tummy. She won't even let Ron, her favorite person, rub her tummy. I view it as a high honor.
Anyway, I got up, got on the computer for a while, ate some fake crab. I checked my message boards.
One of them everyone is upset about a mother who neglected her small children. I survived pretty severe neglect as a child - it took me years to catch up on the growth curve. I have some emotional scars from that.
I was talking to Ron about that - he had food security his whole life. Every time he was hungry, he was fed. I did not have that. I had hours of severe hunger until someone came along to feed me. I learned very early on I had better eat up because I never knew when my next meal was coming. He can't understand what it is like to be food insecure. That, to me, has had a lasting effect on my eating.
But I had a good snack, once I got the stupid packaging open! I was very frustrated, but understand they fix it that way so people don't open it in the store, or have it open in transit. The cookies from Sam's could use a similar overhaul - they tend to open up on their own, now and then.
The cats weren't interested in my fake crab, but they were very interested in the Fancy Feast when I fed them at 6. Baby Girl goes first, then Biscuit. Torbie comes along later to polish it off.
I might worry about Torbie, but she is pleasingly plump and has wonderfully silky fur. She has no food issues, she is getting enough to eat.
Speaking of feeding the cats, I am thinking next year I will have to buy an automatic feeder so they - Biscuit, I mean - don't eat all the food on day one.
I am listening to a "For King and Country" Christmas concert. It is very nice, just like being there without all the standing in line. I discovered their music recently and I really like them. They sing honestly about marriage, addictions, suicide, all sorts of things that are "real" issues today.
And that's it for now.
I did sleep pretty well last night, with Torbie AND Biscuit. Torbie slept by my head like she does. I have found only the very old cats do this, and, when they start, I only have a couple of years left. But I've talked a lot about Torbie's mortality and how I plan to enjoy every minute.
I got up late but had time to take my shower. Ron started off the day belligerent and hostile, literally shouting at God and cursing Him.
I just focused on getting us ready.
I got him out and into the vehicle. He didn't want to change his clothes so he didn't look fantastic, but I did what I could. I had to choose my battles.
We got onto the vehicle. Ron was still in a bad mood cursing God out and yelling. I couldn't remember if I had locked the front door. I asked the driver to let me off so I could quickly check. She did - as Ron shouted "No, don't let her go!".
I checked, it was fine. I came back. Ron continued on his theme, I told the driver "I shouldn't have come back" and she nodded in agreement.
Then Ron starts up about sex for some unknown reason. He starts going on about how I am so fat and repulsive to him (not his exact words) how my weight was such an utter and complete turn off, etc. The driver is just staring straight ahead, not responding. I didn't say anything because he was trying to provoke a reaction. I weigh less than 250 pounds. I can still shop at Walmart, it may be a plus size but they fit well. I have maintained where I am for well over 10 years now. You have seen my photos, you can reach your own conclusion.
I didn't say anything because I think he was trying to get me upset. I really think the theme of the day was Ron behaving as badly as possible and trying to make me as miserable as he feels he is. I truly believe that was the issue today.
Ron kept going on about how broken he was, nothing worked, etc. Then he said he understood why I found him repulsive. I told him "I never said that" and then reminded him I married a blind man in a wheelchair "I had a pretty good idea what to expect." He tried to argue with me and finally ended that line of conversation.
He went back to yelling at God. I was so glad it was a relatively short trip and the driver would be done with him. We got there and she unloaded him swiftly.
We went in the store. They have a new greeter now, he said hello. Ron bitched they had taken away the free food (and coffee, but he doesn't drink coffee) and he wanted his banana bread. I told him he meant the lemon cake - one time a greeter got him some banana bread after he asked for it and he said, he wanted the other one, meaning lemon cake. It's a head injury thing. I know someone else like that - the wrong word comes out sometimes.
I got my cart and Ron gave me the money, said I had a budget this time. That was fine. I had a lot of snacks at work already.
I went and got everything on the list. He texted me "Let's talk", so I called him. He still had the same mindset, he just wanted me to buy him "banana bread" or some popcorn. I told him they didn't sell the popcorn, he meant "lemon cake" and they were only sold in a combo unit with other cake neither of us would eat. Not to mention pretty expensive for a couple slices.
Fine, he said, get him some cookies. I asked him if he wanted the chocolate chip or the combo? The combo. So I got that.
I paid and checked out. One of the associates pushed my cart to the door - it was pretty heavy, I didn't envy her. It was loaded with sodas, etc.
I gave Ron some cookies, which he ate, and his mood improved a little. He has a very bad habit of not wanting to eat at home, getting hungry "out" and then getting cranky. But if I ask him to eat or try to provide something, generally he says no.
Jack came. He told me his wife is doing pretty good, she needs a little chemo and radiation but the surgery got it all. That's good to know.
Ron started talking about death and how, if she died, it wouldn't be that bad. I was aghast and kept trying to shut him up. That's not something you say to the spouse of a cancer victim, especially one who has good odds of recovery. Jack was OK and he and Ron talked about death in general for a while on the way to work.
We got to work. I got Ron in the building. Everything was working. I got the carts and went outside, got them loaded. Then I brought them in. Then helping Ron for some time. At one point he kept getting confused. He had 2 sodas (cases) in his lap and he kept reversing them, this is orange, this is root beer, but he had it backwards. I kept telling him that and he kept getting more and more confused and upset.
In the future, I think I will just pick them up and put them in the "proper" sequence. Anyway, more lashing out at me. Eventually they got stocked.
We had a refund, I dealt with it pretty well I think.
I was able to do some stocking but not much, between putting my merchandise away and helping Ron. But I did get some of it.
I got a new Pop Tart to put in the snack machines today, Brown Sugar and Cinnamon. It will be interesting to see how they do. I have a row of Strawberry and one now of the Brown Sugar, so we will see which sells better.
I suspect some of the Strawberry crowd were getting a little fatigued. I will be curious to see how they sell.
See, marketing can be an interesting subject. But that speaker made it so BORING at the conference. It's like fishing, put out your bait (merchandise) and see who bites. If they like a certain product a lot buy more of it. If they like a certain type, like baked or hot, then sell more.
It can be a lot of fun. At least I think so. That is one good thing about Ron as a boss, he has given me a LOT of rope with regards to the snack machine - I can do pretty much whatever I want. I enjoy that.
We left. We had a very nice driver to come home and Ron pretty much behaved.
All day at work, he kept talking about how he was going to "have a blackout" when he got home. I told him I thought he only drank for the back pain. Not always, he replied, and then informed me sometimes he "just wanted to tune out".
Earlier in the day I had told him, if we were pointing fingers about addiction, he had to look at himself and drinking. Apparently that bounced off.
He kept going on about how much fun it would be to "have a blackout". Even told me I had better leave him alone because he was "going to have a blackout" and he wouldn't be responsible. Then went so far as to say, if he was verbally abusing me, I should ignore him because he was "having a blackout" and, implied nothing was more important that day than him tuning out.
I was disgusted and disappointed. He isn't even pretending any more. It used to be, if I said he was drinking to get high, he would vehemently deny it and say he "needed" it for his back. I believe he does have a pain issue. I believe it can be severe.
But I don't believe he "needs" alcohol the way he says he does, and I certainly don't believe he "needs to tune out". If your emotions are that bad, then it is time to get counseling and medication. Trust me, I know.
But he won't admit he needs help and I can't do anything until he does. Anything up to that point will just be seen as unwanted nagging and he will become even more resistant.
We got home. I ate a can of spaghetti and took my pills. Ron said he "owed" me money for a pizza - I had delivery about a week ago and paid for it myself. He said he would have paid for pizza but I told him I was fine.
After taking my pills, I laid down with Torbie and Biscuit - notice how Biscuit is assuming the "cuddler" role before I lose Torbie? I heard Ron in the kitchen. He finally wanted the "plate" from Thanksgiving. He got drunk first and then ate it, loved the food.
My aunt is a good cook. He called her on his cell phone and said "No one" (meaning me, I suppose) "knew how to cook like that". So that is why I sold hundreds of chicken dinner plates every Friday, and literal gallons of chicken noodle soup, spaghetti, ham-bean soup, etc. back when we had the deli. I had people buying food 2 hours in advance.
He finally shut up and I went to sleep. They are still making noise next door with the remodel, going on 3 weeks. They had carpet on the trailer today. It didn't appear to be a very high quality. With 8 people in the house you are going to want something high-traffic. Or you will just have to have handymen out in another year or two to replace it.
I still managed to get a pretty good nap. After all, I had Torbie and Biscuit. Baby Girl only slept with me the night Bubba died. She does allow me to pet her, and rub her tummy. She won't even let Ron, her favorite person, rub her tummy. I view it as a high honor.
Anyway, I got up, got on the computer for a while, ate some fake crab. I checked my message boards.
One of them everyone is upset about a mother who neglected her small children. I survived pretty severe neglect as a child - it took me years to catch up on the growth curve. I have some emotional scars from that.
I was talking to Ron about that - he had food security his whole life. Every time he was hungry, he was fed. I did not have that. I had hours of severe hunger until someone came along to feed me. I learned very early on I had better eat up because I never knew when my next meal was coming. He can't understand what it is like to be food insecure. That, to me, has had a lasting effect on my eating.
But I had a good snack, once I got the stupid packaging open! I was very frustrated, but understand they fix it that way so people don't open it in the store, or have it open in transit. The cookies from Sam's could use a similar overhaul - they tend to open up on their own, now and then.
The cats weren't interested in my fake crab, but they were very interested in the Fancy Feast when I fed them at 6. Baby Girl goes first, then Biscuit. Torbie comes along later to polish it off.
I might worry about Torbie, but she is pleasingly plump and has wonderfully silky fur. She has no food issues, she is getting enough to eat.
Speaking of feeding the cats, I am thinking next year I will have to buy an automatic feeder so they - Biscuit, I mean - don't eat all the food on day one.
I am listening to a "For King and Country" Christmas concert. It is very nice, just like being there without all the standing in line. I discovered their music recently and I really like them. They sing honestly about marriage, addictions, suicide, all sorts of things that are "real" issues today.
And that's it for now.
Ron is extremely negative today. I kept asking him to stop. He kept attacking God and my faith, in addition to being extremely toxic and condescending.
He told me he would keep it up, until I asked God to "stop torturing Ron" - meaning, let Ron die. What do you say to that?
I honestly think he plans to keep this up until I am as miserable as Ron believes himself to be.
Friday, November 23, 2018
Black Friday, part 2
I could have gone anywhere today, but I only had one request.
I had used not only my cat food, but some of my reserve. I always have a reserve, there is nothing worse than a hungry cat and no money to feed them. Thank God those days are LONG gone. And I have always bought cat food before I bought anything for "the people".
So I asked Ron to take me to the pet store. We make the trip to the Kolache Factory, we like eating there anyway and they have a nice accessible bathroom. They aren't cold like Starbucks (emotionally and physically). I buy some food, leave Ron with it, and walk over to the pet store.
Our ride to get there was so late Ron delayed his ride to go home. I told him I could "do it" quick but he had it in his head that "we" needed more time. So he was already in a foul mood.
I bought him a Diet Dr Pepper. I noticed there was a very tall, slow, man with an extreme cringing manner sitting at the next table. I asked Ron to "keep it down". I didn't mention the man to him but I was worried about Ron's anger freaking the poor man out. Ron barked at me, the man flinched. I felt terrible and figured it would just be better if I left.
I walked over to the store. They had a tremendous deal on kitty condos, but I already have 2. I want to buy a "burrow bed" for the cats but other than that they are fine for cat furniture. I looked for the scratching boxes, couldn't find them. I guess they really are done selling them - and Baby Girl loves hers. I have 2 more in the garage, though.
Then I looked at the adoption cats. They had a beautiful calico who reminded me of Torbie, and some nice looking, sleepy, black cats. I love black cats. I didn't try to get them up because I am not an adopter. It wouldn't be fair to the cats.
I put the cat food in the cart, after checking the sell by dates. Good codes. I paid and heard all about the cashier's mother's, special needs cat. I walked back to Ron with the bag of cat food on my shoulder (a little less than 20 pounds total).
I got back to Ron and he was in an even worse mood. I took him to the bathroom and bought a kolache. He was surly and argumentative. It came to a crux when I bought a BBQ kolache. It was delicious. Ron loves BBQ. So I offered him a bite. He started up about "my stomach" (a favorite subject of his lately), how I am so fat, ruled by "my stomach", a slave to my urges, no discipline like "he" has, etc.
Cheap trick, using my weight against me. I might actually care about what he said, but when I was thin he used to say things like "Your body is thin but your mind is fat". He would probably just go after my illness or the brain damage, how I am "so defective" and he "deserves better, but has to settle for you."
You get the idea. And I'm sitting there thinking how I'm going to put this in my blog, and the music is playing on the overhead speakers. "You'd Better Be Good to Me" comes on the speakers.
https://youtu.be/MCTleY5xuOw
I stopped Ron. I used the words "attacking me" "Ugly verbal" and "respect". He got worse. I finally lost my temper (up to this point I had been pretty calm) - and said "Ron, listen to the music. You'd better be good to me. I'm all you've got!" I reminded him he has driven off every other person in his life. He got very upset.
He started abusing me again and I told him calmly, if he kept it up, I was going to walk across the store and sit down at another table, where I wouldn't hear him. He began to sputter. Then he called paratransit and shouted at someone on the phone, hung up, and brooded.
Our ride came on time, I took Ron out and got him loaded the way he likes to board a cab. He likes me to put his hand on the grip so he can pull himself up out of the wheelchair. We had a straight trip home.
When I got home a young man was in my yard filling in the dirt around my water meter. They gave us new meters a little over a month ago but did not fill the dirt in around the meter. They just put up caution tape. Today they had taken it down and smoothed the dirt so it looked very nice. They were even getting ready to lay sod. I was impressed.
I got Ron in the house, and the cat food. I took a nap with Torbie and Biscuit.
When I came home Torbie had tucked herself into one of my dresser drawers. It isn't even all the way open, but she looked nice and cozy in there, and didn't have much trouble emerging. She got into bed with Biscuit and me.
I had a pretty good nap for a couple of hours until the #6 brood, all six children, came out and played loudly by my bedroom wall. I haven't heard them much (except for parties) since their father built the playroom on the back of the house, but his workers are still (!) working on the bathroom remodel - going on 3 weeks now. Had he hired citizens, they would have gotten the job done in a few days. Anyway, I think the kids were bothering the workers so the kids were forced outside. The youngest, a little girl, was proclaiming something at a scream as she ran around the backyard, she kept repeating the same phrase again and again, it got very tedious. It was Spanish, of course, so I have no idea what it meant.
I did find it VERY sad, the minute the kids went into the yard, my cat (I don't know which one) came in from the catio. They went at it for about 15 minutes, just long enough to ensure I was FULLY awake, then they went back in the house.
Well, I'm up now. I got up and ran a load of laundry. I need to put it in the dryer. Done.
But I was thinking about Ron and friends while I was unloading the washer. When I met Ron, he had a lot of "friends" he had met on a telephone dating service. The women all stopped calling Ron after I moved in.
Ron remained on the dating service, doing something he termed "Dr Problem". He liked it when people told him about their problems and then he would try to "fix" them. But the honest truth was everyone liked him to listen to them bitch and moan, but didn't want to take any constructive steps to "fix" their lives. And a verbal abuser giving advice on relationships...
All it meant for me was Ron was on a dating service, talking to strange women who confided in him. At best, that was happening. He was also paying for the service. He worked about 11 hours a day with his commute. So when he got home he would spend a couple of hours on the phone with the women ("I ate at work"), totally ignoring me, and then go to sleep on the couch.
You may wonder why Ron thinks he can get away with treating me badly, well, the answer is he has gotten away with it, now I am rewriting the rule book and he doesn't like it.
Now, he doesn't want to invest in friends. He sees them as too much work. He has a couple of people he can call if something happens, including my aunt, but the list is pretty short. He doesn't have the patience, the will to remember details (possibly the ability to remember the details), or the willingness to invest time just to see how someone's doing.
And me? I had made some friends at work and brought one home, she wanted me to do her nails. I did, badly. I don't do nails very well.
After she left Ron told me a story about how he could get any woman he wanted. I scoffed at him and said a real friend would never cheat with him. His response to that was to tell me a story about how his girlfriend dared him to get underwear from a woman they both knew. He did and ended up leaving his girlfriend for the other woman.
If that wasn't enough, one female friend at work told me she wanted to take the relationship to a sexual level. It was California, what can I say? I declined with some shock, she never contacted me again and began avoiding me at work.
I don't have close friends because how do you explain the complicated mess of my marriage to someone? I can't have that encroach on work, so that rules out the major place I go with Ron outside the house. Church didn't work out, the pastor keeps telling me I "don't need mental illness medication".
But I have you to listen, at least, and I appreciate that. I hope I am honestly relating what is going on even if it makes me look bad.
I had used not only my cat food, but some of my reserve. I always have a reserve, there is nothing worse than a hungry cat and no money to feed them. Thank God those days are LONG gone. And I have always bought cat food before I bought anything for "the people".
So I asked Ron to take me to the pet store. We make the trip to the Kolache Factory, we like eating there anyway and they have a nice accessible bathroom. They aren't cold like Starbucks (emotionally and physically). I buy some food, leave Ron with it, and walk over to the pet store.
Our ride to get there was so late Ron delayed his ride to go home. I told him I could "do it" quick but he had it in his head that "we" needed more time. So he was already in a foul mood.
I bought him a Diet Dr Pepper. I noticed there was a very tall, slow, man with an extreme cringing manner sitting at the next table. I asked Ron to "keep it down". I didn't mention the man to him but I was worried about Ron's anger freaking the poor man out. Ron barked at me, the man flinched. I felt terrible and figured it would just be better if I left.
I walked over to the store. They had a tremendous deal on kitty condos, but I already have 2. I want to buy a "burrow bed" for the cats but other than that they are fine for cat furniture. I looked for the scratching boxes, couldn't find them. I guess they really are done selling them - and Baby Girl loves hers. I have 2 more in the garage, though.
Then I looked at the adoption cats. They had a beautiful calico who reminded me of Torbie, and some nice looking, sleepy, black cats. I love black cats. I didn't try to get them up because I am not an adopter. It wouldn't be fair to the cats.
I put the cat food in the cart, after checking the sell by dates. Good codes. I paid and heard all about the cashier's mother's, special needs cat. I walked back to Ron with the bag of cat food on my shoulder (a little less than 20 pounds total).
I got back to Ron and he was in an even worse mood. I took him to the bathroom and bought a kolache. He was surly and argumentative. It came to a crux when I bought a BBQ kolache. It was delicious. Ron loves BBQ. So I offered him a bite. He started up about "my stomach" (a favorite subject of his lately), how I am so fat, ruled by "my stomach", a slave to my urges, no discipline like "he" has, etc.
Cheap trick, using my weight against me. I might actually care about what he said, but when I was thin he used to say things like "Your body is thin but your mind is fat". He would probably just go after my illness or the brain damage, how I am "so defective" and he "deserves better, but has to settle for you."
You get the idea. And I'm sitting there thinking how I'm going to put this in my blog, and the music is playing on the overhead speakers. "You'd Better Be Good to Me" comes on the speakers.
https://youtu.be/MCTleY5xuOw
I stopped Ron. I used the words "attacking me" "Ugly verbal" and "respect". He got worse. I finally lost my temper (up to this point I had been pretty calm) - and said "Ron, listen to the music. You'd better be good to me. I'm all you've got!" I reminded him he has driven off every other person in his life. He got very upset.
He started abusing me again and I told him calmly, if he kept it up, I was going to walk across the store and sit down at another table, where I wouldn't hear him. He began to sputter. Then he called paratransit and shouted at someone on the phone, hung up, and brooded.
Our ride came on time, I took Ron out and got him loaded the way he likes to board a cab. He likes me to put his hand on the grip so he can pull himself up out of the wheelchair. We had a straight trip home.
When I got home a young man was in my yard filling in the dirt around my water meter. They gave us new meters a little over a month ago but did not fill the dirt in around the meter. They just put up caution tape. Today they had taken it down and smoothed the dirt so it looked very nice. They were even getting ready to lay sod. I was impressed.
I got Ron in the house, and the cat food. I took a nap with Torbie and Biscuit.
When I came home Torbie had tucked herself into one of my dresser drawers. It isn't even all the way open, but she looked nice and cozy in there, and didn't have much trouble emerging. She got into bed with Biscuit and me.
I had a pretty good nap for a couple of hours until the #6 brood, all six children, came out and played loudly by my bedroom wall. I haven't heard them much (except for parties) since their father built the playroom on the back of the house, but his workers are still (!) working on the bathroom remodel - going on 3 weeks now. Had he hired citizens, they would have gotten the job done in a few days. Anyway, I think the kids were bothering the workers so the kids were forced outside. The youngest, a little girl, was proclaiming something at a scream as she ran around the backyard, she kept repeating the same phrase again and again, it got very tedious. It was Spanish, of course, so I have no idea what it meant.
I did find it VERY sad, the minute the kids went into the yard, my cat (I don't know which one) came in from the catio. They went at it for about 15 minutes, just long enough to ensure I was FULLY awake, then they went back in the house.
Well, I'm up now. I got up and ran a load of laundry. I need to put it in the dryer. Done.
But I was thinking about Ron and friends while I was unloading the washer. When I met Ron, he had a lot of "friends" he had met on a telephone dating service. The women all stopped calling Ron after I moved in.
Ron remained on the dating service, doing something he termed "Dr Problem". He liked it when people told him about their problems and then he would try to "fix" them. But the honest truth was everyone liked him to listen to them bitch and moan, but didn't want to take any constructive steps to "fix" their lives. And a verbal abuser giving advice on relationships...
All it meant for me was Ron was on a dating service, talking to strange women who confided in him. At best, that was happening. He was also paying for the service. He worked about 11 hours a day with his commute. So when he got home he would spend a couple of hours on the phone with the women ("I ate at work"), totally ignoring me, and then go to sleep on the couch.
You may wonder why Ron thinks he can get away with treating me badly, well, the answer is he has gotten away with it, now I am rewriting the rule book and he doesn't like it.
Now, he doesn't want to invest in friends. He sees them as too much work. He has a couple of people he can call if something happens, including my aunt, but the list is pretty short. He doesn't have the patience, the will to remember details (possibly the ability to remember the details), or the willingness to invest time just to see how someone's doing.
And me? I had made some friends at work and brought one home, she wanted me to do her nails. I did, badly. I don't do nails very well.
After she left Ron told me a story about how he could get any woman he wanted. I scoffed at him and said a real friend would never cheat with him. His response to that was to tell me a story about how his girlfriend dared him to get underwear from a woman they both knew. He did and ended up leaving his girlfriend for the other woman.
If that wasn't enough, one female friend at work told me she wanted to take the relationship to a sexual level. It was California, what can I say? I declined with some shock, she never contacted me again and began avoiding me at work.
I don't have close friends because how do you explain the complicated mess of my marriage to someone? I can't have that encroach on work, so that rules out the major place I go with Ron outside the house. Church didn't work out, the pastor keeps telling me I "don't need mental illness medication".
But I have you to listen, at least, and I appreciate that. I hope I am honestly relating what is going on even if it makes me look bad.
Sitting at Kolache Factory
Ron's verbally abusing me, Tina Turner playing "You'd better be good to me". Talk about ironic.
My life has a soundtrack.
Black Friday
So, I had a good Thanksgiving.
I slept in until 8 and got up, got dressed, did some house cleaning. Did the litter boxes. My cats are better than I deserve.
My aunt called me around 12, said her husband was on the way over. Now, you don't know that Ron likes to lie around in bed, in his underwear. So I had a heck of a time getting him to throw on a pair of knit shorts. He finally did it.
I knew my uncle would want to say hi. He feels empathy for Ron, as my uncle had a severe stroke about 20 years ago. My uncle made a great recovery and you would never guess.
So, I got Ron dressed before he came. He knocked on the door, I brought him in.
Now, this is one thing I love about my aunt and uncle, they are very accepting. My house is a mess but he just wanted to say hi to Ron and see how he was doing. He said hi to Baby Girl, who was sitting on her box, and said hi to Ron, chatted a bit, Ron said he wanted to stay home today.
It was clear we were getting along, too, so they had some relief on that. We left (Baby Girl ran off rather than face more petting) and I locked the door. I got to the car and realized I had not only forgotten the pie, I had forgotten her gift (a fancy bar of lavender soap). My aunt can do lavender essentials, but not fragrance oils as they trigger bad migraines for her. My headaches really are genetic. Poor thing had to take an Imitrex on my wedding day! But this was a good quality bar, with real flowers in it, real essential oil, so safe for her.
I have also given her fancy bars of unscented soap, which she loved for bathing the grand children.
God love him, he stopped at the gas station for me so I could get some soda. Then we had a completely uneventful trip to their house.
We had a good day, it was me, my cousin, and my aunt and uncle. We hung out for a while and then ate. She had done a nice spread, especially for 4 people. We had turkey, gravy (like my father, I am fond of gravy), dressing (dressing is cooked separately from the bird), carrot and raisin salad, and green bean casserole. We had two kinds of pie (one of them, mine - the Walmart pecan pie is pretty good!).
Overall, a nice battery charge for me. . They are, as I've said, very accepting. Now if I did something stupid like stopped taking my pills, or I started drinking, they would call me on it, but they know I am doing my best and have a load. They recognize and support that.
Any caregiver and/or someone in a verbally abusive relationship needs to get that. It's really important.
I never know who will read my blog but it she does I stand by everything I wrote. She is a real gift. Her whole family is: she did a really good job with them and picked a good husband. I am glad she is my closest relative.
It is nice to know, if something happens, I can call her. When Ron was suddenly and emergently admitted to the hospital with blood clots, she was there within hours. She stayed with us until Ron got settled and also helped me get dinner and drove me home. She doesn't ask for anything in return - she wants me to be smart, take my pills, don't be an enabler - this is all implied. But other than that there are no demands except for a hug maybe.
I know a lot of you think my life really sucks. In some ways, it does. But she helps make it better. I'm lucky to have her.
She was a huge help when Ron was in the hospital after his accident, she did everything she could to take care of all the details. Once "we" were home, she helped plan my wedding.
I didn't want to plan a wedding. I had to take care of Ron, and that was enough stress for me already. I had found a wedding gown and some shoes. I wanted purple and white roses for my theme. I wanted a small wedding with a good reception. Ron and I had been to some weddings where you had to wait forever for the food, and then they gave you a small, dry, portion. I didn't want that. I wanted only people who could wish us well.
She took all that and gave me a fantastic, small, wedding. Oh, well, not a lot of well-wishers. We had the reception at a BBQ place so the guests walked up to the window and ordered, then the food was brought to us in the party room. Everyone got what they wanted, everyone was served quickly, and everyone had a good time. My Dad had a beer. I wouldn't let Dad buy Ron a beer, but other than that it was totally smooth.
Then I changed into street clothes, put the wheelchair in Chuck's pickup, and we went to Galveston for our honeymoon. We didn't know they were having a motorcycle rally, so it was very "interesting" but we fit right in.
So, she's good with everything I've entrusted to her. I am lucky to have her.
She brought me home around 4-5 PM. I wanted her to get back home before all the drunks hit the road. Harris County (mine) has a record number of drunk drivers every year and I wanted to keep her safe.
Ron was in a pretty good mood when I got home and we talked a little. I watched some TV, the two of us watched a movie together, and then we went to bed.
I slept pretty well except for #2, I believe, making noise in the middle of the night. She (the wife/mother) is not very mature in some ways and likes to play loud music - so loud you can hear it houses away - whenever she starts up her car or comes home. It is a standard with her. She has a young man living with her, most likely her son. He is very quiet but she is not. You would think it'd be the other way around. Anyway, not very mature and always playing loud music whenever she departs or arrives. It's like she wants a fanfare. She gets (or stays) in the car, playing the loud music for several minutes, and then goes into the house, or leaves. Anyway, it was "her type" of music, played loudly, sometime in the middle of the night, for several minutes like she does. So I am guessing it was her. It woke me up. I wasn't happy about that. I don't give a [censored] if you are going to a black Friday sale. Let your neighbors sleep.
What she doesn't realize, tomorrow morning we will be LEAVING at 6 AM and the driver may make some noise. If they do, I am not inclined to correct them.
A loud dispatch radio is pretty annoying, and the houses are all VERY close together. If she wants to fire a shot I can return fire, if I choose. And we get up a lot earlier than they do.
I forgot to mention last night I called my Dad. They were all having a party at my stepsister's house. My stepsister married a vegan so it must have been an interesting feast this year. But they have synthetic turkeys engineered not to have any animal products.
I have a gripe with the vegan diet - it seems everyone eating it (I have met several, surprisingly enough, in Texas) eats highly processed "fake" food. "Fake" sausage made out of fungus, "Fake" meat made out of soy byproducts, etc. That just doesn't seem "healthier" to me. But it's their body, not mine.
Ron has a very hard time keeping his mouth shut around vegetarians and vegans. He wants to tell them that all food is made of atomic particles (I am clarifying a little from what he actually says) and that they are all eating "energy". So a beef patty is no different than a serving of tofu. The vegans, of course, don't want to hear that.
Now, when I was in junior high I actually became a vegan for a while, before I even knew what that was. I just didn't want to eat eggs, milk, or meat. That was virtually impossible as my stepmother did not make any dietary accommodations. I had to eat what we had in the fridge and pantry, she wasn't buying, or making, special food. I thought it was "mean" to the animals to slaughter them - and it is, they should be humanely "done" if at all possible.
But the Bible says "Kill and eat" so I do. I don't kill my food, although if I lived in the country I would.
They all seemed to be having a good time. I talked to my Dad for a little while, the conversation was pretty stiff but we communicated. Some days are better than others for talking to Dad, and I'm sure he would say the same thing about me.
I need to get ready to go, Ron is taking me out to the pet store to buy more cat food. I ran out before our trip and got into my reserve - now I need to replenish and get some more "daily" food. That will cost a little but either you can afford your cats or you can't.
I have plenty of canned food to get me through my next pay period - get me TO my next pay period, so I will spend what I need to ensure the cats have a good supply.
But I need to go. I will post later if anything interesting comes to mind or something happens.
I slept in until 8 and got up, got dressed, did some house cleaning. Did the litter boxes. My cats are better than I deserve.
My aunt called me around 12, said her husband was on the way over. Now, you don't know that Ron likes to lie around in bed, in his underwear. So I had a heck of a time getting him to throw on a pair of knit shorts. He finally did it.
I knew my uncle would want to say hi. He feels empathy for Ron, as my uncle had a severe stroke about 20 years ago. My uncle made a great recovery and you would never guess.
So, I got Ron dressed before he came. He knocked on the door, I brought him in.
Now, this is one thing I love about my aunt and uncle, they are very accepting. My house is a mess but he just wanted to say hi to Ron and see how he was doing. He said hi to Baby Girl, who was sitting on her box, and said hi to Ron, chatted a bit, Ron said he wanted to stay home today.
It was clear we were getting along, too, so they had some relief on that. We left (Baby Girl ran off rather than face more petting) and I locked the door. I got to the car and realized I had not only forgotten the pie, I had forgotten her gift (a fancy bar of lavender soap). My aunt can do lavender essentials, but not fragrance oils as they trigger bad migraines for her. My headaches really are genetic. Poor thing had to take an Imitrex on my wedding day! But this was a good quality bar, with real flowers in it, real essential oil, so safe for her.
I have also given her fancy bars of unscented soap, which she loved for bathing the grand children.
God love him, he stopped at the gas station for me so I could get some soda. Then we had a completely uneventful trip to their house.
We had a good day, it was me, my cousin, and my aunt and uncle. We hung out for a while and then ate. She had done a nice spread, especially for 4 people. We had turkey, gravy (like my father, I am fond of gravy), dressing (dressing is cooked separately from the bird), carrot and raisin salad, and green bean casserole. We had two kinds of pie (one of them, mine - the Walmart pecan pie is pretty good!).
Overall, a nice battery charge for me. . They are, as I've said, very accepting. Now if I did something stupid like stopped taking my pills, or I started drinking, they would call me on it, but they know I am doing my best and have a load. They recognize and support that.
Any caregiver and/or someone in a verbally abusive relationship needs to get that. It's really important.
I never know who will read my blog but it she does I stand by everything I wrote. She is a real gift. Her whole family is: she did a really good job with them and picked a good husband. I am glad she is my closest relative.
It is nice to know, if something happens, I can call her. When Ron was suddenly and emergently admitted to the hospital with blood clots, she was there within hours. She stayed with us until Ron got settled and also helped me get dinner and drove me home. She doesn't ask for anything in return - she wants me to be smart, take my pills, don't be an enabler - this is all implied. But other than that there are no demands except for a hug maybe.
I know a lot of you think my life really sucks. In some ways, it does. But she helps make it better. I'm lucky to have her.
She was a huge help when Ron was in the hospital after his accident, she did everything she could to take care of all the details. Once "we" were home, she helped plan my wedding.
I didn't want to plan a wedding. I had to take care of Ron, and that was enough stress for me already. I had found a wedding gown and some shoes. I wanted purple and white roses for my theme. I wanted a small wedding with a good reception. Ron and I had been to some weddings where you had to wait forever for the food, and then they gave you a small, dry, portion. I didn't want that. I wanted only people who could wish us well.
She took all that and gave me a fantastic, small, wedding. Oh, well, not a lot of well-wishers. We had the reception at a BBQ place so the guests walked up to the window and ordered, then the food was brought to us in the party room. Everyone got what they wanted, everyone was served quickly, and everyone had a good time. My Dad had a beer. I wouldn't let Dad buy Ron a beer, but other than that it was totally smooth.
Then I changed into street clothes, put the wheelchair in Chuck's pickup, and we went to Galveston for our honeymoon. We didn't know they were having a motorcycle rally, so it was very "interesting" but we fit right in.
So, she's good with everything I've entrusted to her. I am lucky to have her.
She brought me home around 4-5 PM. I wanted her to get back home before all the drunks hit the road. Harris County (mine) has a record number of drunk drivers every year and I wanted to keep her safe.
Ron was in a pretty good mood when I got home and we talked a little. I watched some TV, the two of us watched a movie together, and then we went to bed.
I slept pretty well except for #2, I believe, making noise in the middle of the night. She (the wife/mother) is not very mature in some ways and likes to play loud music - so loud you can hear it houses away - whenever she starts up her car or comes home. It is a standard with her. She has a young man living with her, most likely her son. He is very quiet but she is not. You would think it'd be the other way around. Anyway, not very mature and always playing loud music whenever she departs or arrives. It's like she wants a fanfare. She gets (or stays) in the car, playing the loud music for several minutes, and then goes into the house, or leaves. Anyway, it was "her type" of music, played loudly, sometime in the middle of the night, for several minutes like she does. So I am guessing it was her. It woke me up. I wasn't happy about that. I don't give a [censored] if you are going to a black Friday sale. Let your neighbors sleep.
What she doesn't realize, tomorrow morning we will be LEAVING at 6 AM and the driver may make some noise. If they do, I am not inclined to correct them.
A loud dispatch radio is pretty annoying, and the houses are all VERY close together. If she wants to fire a shot I can return fire, if I choose. And we get up a lot earlier than they do.
I forgot to mention last night I called my Dad. They were all having a party at my stepsister's house. My stepsister married a vegan so it must have been an interesting feast this year. But they have synthetic turkeys engineered not to have any animal products.
I have a gripe with the vegan diet - it seems everyone eating it (I have met several, surprisingly enough, in Texas) eats highly processed "fake" food. "Fake" sausage made out of fungus, "Fake" meat made out of soy byproducts, etc. That just doesn't seem "healthier" to me. But it's their body, not mine.
Ron has a very hard time keeping his mouth shut around vegetarians and vegans. He wants to tell them that all food is made of atomic particles (I am clarifying a little from what he actually says) and that they are all eating "energy". So a beef patty is no different than a serving of tofu. The vegans, of course, don't want to hear that.
Now, when I was in junior high I actually became a vegan for a while, before I even knew what that was. I just didn't want to eat eggs, milk, or meat. That was virtually impossible as my stepmother did not make any dietary accommodations. I had to eat what we had in the fridge and pantry, she wasn't buying, or making, special food. I thought it was "mean" to the animals to slaughter them - and it is, they should be humanely "done" if at all possible.
But the Bible says "Kill and eat" so I do. I don't kill my food, although if I lived in the country I would.
They all seemed to be having a good time. I talked to my Dad for a little while, the conversation was pretty stiff but we communicated. Some days are better than others for talking to Dad, and I'm sure he would say the same thing about me.
I need to get ready to go, Ron is taking me out to the pet store to buy more cat food. I ran out before our trip and got into my reserve - now I need to replenish and get some more "daily" food. That will cost a little but either you can afford your cats or you can't.
I have plenty of canned food to get me through my next pay period - get me TO my next pay period, so I will spend what I need to ensure the cats have a good supply.
But I need to go. I will post later if anything interesting comes to mind or something happens.
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
A long day
Monday we went to work, pretty standard stuff. Ron kept accusing me of "being a bad communicator". I seem to communicate just fine with him everywhere but work, with other people all the time, and in the blog, so I think he has a harder time processing what I say, at work.
I blame the pain pills for that. They do affect reasoning and memory, says so right in the side effects. They have been a pretty nasty blow to him, he's still getting used to it. I can live with the memory problems but there's a lot of lashing out at me.
So that was Monday.
Tuesday he got his infusion. It went pretty fast this time. I was lazy and brought a vial of b-12 and a syringe to the office, and she gave Ron the injection. The nurse had a lot of trouble getting the solution out of the vial, I felt quite vindicated. It's not just me, who has problems.
We came home, took a nap, went to Walmart. I had to get my pills. I did that and got some groceries and some other things we needed.
We went to bed early, got up at 2 this morning for our soda delivery. Now, before I say anything else, it has been my observation, since Keurig bought Dr Pepper the delivery has switched to between 8 and 9 AM. It used to come between 6 and 7. Ron has had a hard time accepting that and still schedules trips as if they're going to come at 6:30. They don't, they come between 8 and nine. Even worse, he scheduled our pickup at 9.
So we went to work. First of all we rode around forever picking people up. One made a big production out of "trying to sleep" on the van. It's public transit, that's not going to happen. If you want more sleep go to bed earlier. She gets a disability check and lives with her mother, she is not carrying the weight of bills or even a lot of responsibilities in life.
We dropped her and then we went to work. I helped Ron, did my stocking, etc. 8 AM. No delivery. I told him, between 8 and 9. Ron began having hysterics and verbally attacking me.
Long story short, the delivery came at 8:30. There were a lot of problems with it and I had to send half of it back. We put everything away and ran out the door just in time for our pickup. Ron was very upset.
I reminded him he's not going to change the company. The only thing he can do is change his pickup next time - to 10. He agreed. Wow, for once he listened to me.
We went to the bank, I got paid, a week late (the conference really messed things up). We went home.
I took a nap, had a pretty good one, but woke up with a headache. I took something and got up. Ron was screaming in pain again. I taped the magnets onto him and he did what he felt would help the pain, all the while savagely attacking me because I am going to dinner tomorrow at my aunt's house.
She invited him as well, but he said no. He wants to stay home and feel sorry for himself. He tried every trick in the book to make me "bleed" emotionally. I just turned him off. I knew he was in physical pain, and lashing out as a result of that, also hurting emotionally because his family abandoned him - but neither is an excuse to come after the only person who loves him.
It's the old "You won't leave so I can treat you like crap" routine. I hear a lot of people do it. It sucks. I don't attack him when I have a migraine. At most, I ask him to bring me some water or empty my bucket.
I didn't appreciate him using me as his verbal punching bag. All of this between shots of vodka and screaming in agony.
Our ride came to take us to get dinner. I didn't cancel because 1. He wanted me to get upset and cancel, then it's not "his" fault and I am even more of a bad guy because 2. He would have been penalized if he canceled late. and 3. I am vindictive enough to say after what you put me through today you owe me some dinner.
I really didn't want eat dinner out of a can.
So we went. He was in a bad mood and cursed at the driver, but she (freely) told us her deceased husband was an alcoholic so she was (implied) used to that kind of behavior. She managed to cheer him up by the time we got dropped.
Then Ron did a complete 180 and did his best to be cute, endearing, and adorable while we ate. Then it was back to "surly" and shouting in pain.
We got home. He drank some more and went to bed. He is still cursing and angry but not shouting, or attacking me.
I plan to go to bed early tonight. It's been a long day.
I blame the pain pills for that. They do affect reasoning and memory, says so right in the side effects. They have been a pretty nasty blow to him, he's still getting used to it. I can live with the memory problems but there's a lot of lashing out at me.
So that was Monday.
Tuesday he got his infusion. It went pretty fast this time. I was lazy and brought a vial of b-12 and a syringe to the office, and she gave Ron the injection. The nurse had a lot of trouble getting the solution out of the vial, I felt quite vindicated. It's not just me, who has problems.
We came home, took a nap, went to Walmart. I had to get my pills. I did that and got some groceries and some other things we needed.
We went to bed early, got up at 2 this morning for our soda delivery. Now, before I say anything else, it has been my observation, since Keurig bought Dr Pepper the delivery has switched to between 8 and 9 AM. It used to come between 6 and 7. Ron has had a hard time accepting that and still schedules trips as if they're going to come at 6:30. They don't, they come between 8 and nine. Even worse, he scheduled our pickup at 9.
So we went to work. First of all we rode around forever picking people up. One made a big production out of "trying to sleep" on the van. It's public transit, that's not going to happen. If you want more sleep go to bed earlier. She gets a disability check and lives with her mother, she is not carrying the weight of bills or even a lot of responsibilities in life.
We dropped her and then we went to work. I helped Ron, did my stocking, etc. 8 AM. No delivery. I told him, between 8 and 9. Ron began having hysterics and verbally attacking me.
Long story short, the delivery came at 8:30. There were a lot of problems with it and I had to send half of it back. We put everything away and ran out the door just in time for our pickup. Ron was very upset.
I reminded him he's not going to change the company. The only thing he can do is change his pickup next time - to 10. He agreed. Wow, for once he listened to me.
We went to the bank, I got paid, a week late (the conference really messed things up). We went home.
I took a nap, had a pretty good one, but woke up with a headache. I took something and got up. Ron was screaming in pain again. I taped the magnets onto him and he did what he felt would help the pain, all the while savagely attacking me because I am going to dinner tomorrow at my aunt's house.
She invited him as well, but he said no. He wants to stay home and feel sorry for himself. He tried every trick in the book to make me "bleed" emotionally. I just turned him off. I knew he was in physical pain, and lashing out as a result of that, also hurting emotionally because his family abandoned him - but neither is an excuse to come after the only person who loves him.
It's the old "You won't leave so I can treat you like crap" routine. I hear a lot of people do it. It sucks. I don't attack him when I have a migraine. At most, I ask him to bring me some water or empty my bucket.
I didn't appreciate him using me as his verbal punching bag. All of this between shots of vodka and screaming in agony.
Our ride came to take us to get dinner. I didn't cancel because 1. He wanted me to get upset and cancel, then it's not "his" fault and I am even more of a bad guy because 2. He would have been penalized if he canceled late. and 3. I am vindictive enough to say after what you put me through today you owe me some dinner.
I really didn't want eat dinner out of a can.
So we went. He was in a bad mood and cursed at the driver, but she (freely) told us her deceased husband was an alcoholic so she was (implied) used to that kind of behavior. She managed to cheer him up by the time we got dropped.
Then Ron did a complete 180 and did his best to be cute, endearing, and adorable while we ate. Then it was back to "surly" and shouting in pain.
We got home. He drank some more and went to bed. He is still cursing and angry but not shouting, or attacking me.
I plan to go to bed early tonight. It's been a long day.
At the moment
Ron is in pain, drinking, and choosing to be verbally abusive to me.
I'm the only one here, helping him. The ONLY one.
He's in pain, I get it, but I don't lash out when I am in pain and I venture my migraines are just as bad as his "foot pain". He is trying every trick in the book to hurt me.
It just disgusts and angers me. Pain really brings out the reality in a person. He becomes hateful and abusive.
I do not, I curl up in a ball and sleep.
I'm the only one here, helping him. The ONLY one.
He's in pain, I get it, but I don't lash out when I am in pain and I venture my migraines are just as bad as his "foot pain". He is trying every trick in the book to hurt me.
It just disgusts and angers me. Pain really brings out the reality in a person. He becomes hateful and abusive.
I do not, I curl up in a ball and sleep.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Update
I've been busy, back at work. Catching up on sleep when I can. Today it was Ron at the infusion center, then a trip to the pharmacy to get my medication. That was exciting.
But mainly catching up on my sleep.
But mainly catching up on my sleep.
Sunday, November 18, 2018
And, dinner
Ron was up and down, asleep. I told him, when he was awake, I wanted to order some pizza and did he want any? He said no but then changed his mind and said yes. I ordered it.
He gave me some money. I needed more because I ordered stuff like bread bites, soda, etc. I went into my wallet. And the money was gone.
That was not a good moment. I managed to track it down, thank God. I had stuck it in my "work" pocket I use when I make change. I make change, the money goes into the left front pocket. I put my money into that pocket and then on the dresser. Oops.
Next time I will verify I have the cash before placing the order. But I have it and am ready when the delivery man comes.
I got Ron a BBQ chicken pizza with extra chicken. Myself I got salami, pepperoni, and bacon thin crust, some bread bites, and 2 diet Cokes.
My headache is finally gone and I have an appetite for a change so I am looking forward to dinner. I need to take my pills, as well.
Someone tried to be cruel to me on a message board, called me some names. I told him I would pray for him. I did not report the post because I figure someone else will.
Moderators of pretty much any message board do not like members savaging each other like that. But I have to value his opinion for it to matter, and I don't.
He gave me some money. I needed more because I ordered stuff like bread bites, soda, etc. I went into my wallet. And the money was gone.
That was not a good moment. I managed to track it down, thank God. I had stuck it in my "work" pocket I use when I make change. I make change, the money goes into the left front pocket. I put my money into that pocket and then on the dresser. Oops.
Next time I will verify I have the cash before placing the order. But I have it and am ready when the delivery man comes.
I got Ron a BBQ chicken pizza with extra chicken. Myself I got salami, pepperoni, and bacon thin crust, some bread bites, and 2 diet Cokes.
My headache is finally gone and I have an appetite for a change so I am looking forward to dinner. I need to take my pills, as well.
Someone tried to be cruel to me on a message board, called me some names. I told him I would pray for him. I did not report the post because I figure someone else will.
Moderators of pretty much any message board do not like members savaging each other like that. But I have to value his opinion for it to matter, and I don't.
And off to the bathroom
After a while in bed, I almost fell asleep (Biscuit got up in bed with me), Ron started yelling he had to go to the bathroom. So I got him into the wheelchair and into the bathroom - a little tricky getting him on the throne but we got it.
Then I left him and went back to sleep. He spent a while in there, I think he fell asleep. Happily I did not need to "use it".
Biscuit laid on me, purring. He got fatter while I was gone. Torbie lay near my foot. It was very cozy. It started to rain and it was very loud for some reason. I think #6 has some sort of metal sheets in his yard that are making the racket. He does these long-drawn-out remodels every year or two.
I can't help but think if he used citizens, people with a license, he would have better results and wouldn't have to "fix" things so often. Instead he hires obvious illegals who are dropped off in front of his house every day, and only speak Spanish. They are taking their sweet time doing the work because they are paid by the day. It's been going on 2 weeks now, for a simple bathroom remodel.
Pete, the guy who fixed my bathroom, only worked on the house after he was done with his 9-5 job, and he fixed my entire bathroom faster than that. And he worked for free!
So the whole family of 8 is stuck with one bathroom, for the duration. I don't envy him.
Ron and I have talked some more about his memory issues on the pain pill. He has them. He has a harder time reading braille, for instance. It is harder for him but he can't go around in agony all the time. And the pill has only one other minor side effect, one that is common with pain pills.
My anti-psychotic has some side effects but nothing major. Some tenderness in my chest. Some growth in my chest, I believe, but I didn't measure before. Let's just say some bras don't fit as well as they used to. And I get a little lightheaded now and then, especially when I have taken a headache pill. But I can live with that.
Who could forget the horrible hives of 2009? All over my body, horrible itching hives. I passed out at work but did not report it. Went home, took a nap, woke covered in hives. I had to take a course of steroids but heavy steroid cream to eliminate them, and it took about 2 months before they healed. I am now allergic to SSRI's. So I avoid them like the plague. That was a bad side effect.
I can live with pretty much all my side effects right now. Ron is learning to live with his.
Then I left him and went back to sleep. He spent a while in there, I think he fell asleep. Happily I did not need to "use it".
Biscuit laid on me, purring. He got fatter while I was gone. Torbie lay near my foot. It was very cozy. It started to rain and it was very loud for some reason. I think #6 has some sort of metal sheets in his yard that are making the racket. He does these long-drawn-out remodels every year or two.
I can't help but think if he used citizens, people with a license, he would have better results and wouldn't have to "fix" things so often. Instead he hires obvious illegals who are dropped off in front of his house every day, and only speak Spanish. They are taking their sweet time doing the work because they are paid by the day. It's been going on 2 weeks now, for a simple bathroom remodel.
Pete, the guy who fixed my bathroom, only worked on the house after he was done with his 9-5 job, and he fixed my entire bathroom faster than that. And he worked for free!
So the whole family of 8 is stuck with one bathroom, for the duration. I don't envy him.
Ron and I have talked some more about his memory issues on the pain pill. He has them. He has a harder time reading braille, for instance. It is harder for him but he can't go around in agony all the time. And the pill has only one other minor side effect, one that is common with pain pills.
My anti-psychotic has some side effects but nothing major. Some tenderness in my chest. Some growth in my chest, I believe, but I didn't measure before. Let's just say some bras don't fit as well as they used to. And I get a little lightheaded now and then, especially when I have taken a headache pill. But I can live with that.
Who could forget the horrible hives of 2009? All over my body, horrible itching hives. I passed out at work but did not report it. Went home, took a nap, woke covered in hives. I had to take a course of steroids but heavy steroid cream to eliminate them, and it took about 2 months before they healed. I am now allergic to SSRI's. So I avoid them like the plague. That was a bad side effect.
I can live with pretty much all my side effects right now. Ron is learning to live with his.
I finally got Ron into bed
He drank heavily this morning to deal with the back pain. He made a huge mess eating and then semi-trashed the kitchen.
I caught him trying to go down the hall and asked him if he wanted to go to bed. He said yes. I took him to the bed. He got up and stood next to the bed, bent over at the waist, with his head pressing into the mattress. It took some wrangling, but I got him into bed.
He is asleep and snoring right now.
I woke up with a bad headache, still have it to some degree. I plan to take a nap while Ron is quiet.
Thank God I can get him into bed when he needs it. I didn't think sleeping in the wheelchair, or falling on the floor, would benefit his back.
I caught him trying to go down the hall and asked him if he wanted to go to bed. He said yes. I took him to the bed. He got up and stood next to the bed, bent over at the waist, with his head pressing into the mattress. It took some wrangling, but I got him into bed.
He is asleep and snoring right now.
I woke up with a bad headache, still have it to some degree. I plan to take a nap while Ron is quiet.
Thank God I can get him into bed when he needs it. I didn't think sleeping in the wheelchair, or falling on the floor, would benefit his back.
Things I learned
Ron's back did very well all week, but has apparently revolted and had Ron screaming all night. [sigh] It is awful on the emotions, not to mention the sleep deprivation is Very Bad for me - one of the reasons I never had kids. He is slumped in his wheelchair, in the kitchen, next to his nearly empty vodka bottle. Hard to watch.
But it got me thinking about things I learned traveling.
But it got me thinking about things I learned traveling.
- Put the legs on the wheelchair. Ron couldn't hold his feet up at times and it made for difficulty, and drama. He hates the legs but it is better than him falling out or breaking an ankle.
- Remind Ron to NOTIFY me of positional changes BEFORE moving. He has a bad habit of "adjusting" suddenly without telling me. It would probably not be as big a deal if he had the legs on the wheelchair, though. I'm not blaming him, but his safety is #1 and I was worried about accidentally dumping him out right in front of the train.
- I brought a pack of about 25 singles for vending machines. That was a good call, do it again.
- Jeans were a good choice for me. Ron wore sweatpants. Not terribly professional but comfortable. He could sleep and wake in them.
- Work sneakers were also a good call - appear to be lace up sneakers, but steel toe with a leather upper. Would have been good for fighting off bad guys. Also good for Ron in the wheelchair, sometimes he rolls back, over my feet. So what when I'm wearing the steel toes.
- When going to bed in the hotel, lay out clean clothes for next day, after shower; AND lay out used underwear/socks/shirt for in case of fire alarm. That way it's easy to dress in used clothes in the middle of the night.
- If the hotel has a fire, Ron is so slow getting ready we are going to die. I will send a final text to Blogger to say goodbye.
- If I am able to evacuate, take my medication with me! That would have been a problem if I couldn't get back!
- Fanny packs worked well all week. Would do again.
- I brought a zippered pouch for receipts (hope to get reimbursed). That was a good idea.
- The big bag of snacks in the open tote bag - not a good idea. Too bulky and they apparently sell snacks on the train.
- Possibly bring a universal phone charger to do both our phones, although we both had enough room for our factory chargers.
- Good idea to bring the bath wipes, the morning the hotel didn't have water pressure I was able to use them to freshen up. This was the nice hotel, not the cheap one - without water pressure. The cheap hotel made for a great shower.
- The white noise machine was a good idea. We both liked it and Ron wants it for himself now.
- The train works - sort of, for Ron in his wheelchair.
- Ron needs a new wheelchair. The right brake keeps activating when I am pushing him around. But that's cheap from Amazon so not worried.
Saturday, November 17, 2018
Back to work
I slept pretty well. I thought it was cute, when I took off my glasses, turned out the light, and laid down, Biscuit immediately jumped into my "lap" and stayed there until well after I fell asleep. Torbie was already in her spot by my head.
We had a good ride to Sam's. The driver is normally always, significantly (30-45 minutes) late when he gets us but today he was a couple minutes early. Ron was in a bad mood, complaining a lot.
We arrived at the store. It was open. The driver went in, looking for his "usual" cup of "free" coffee and a snack, but they aren't doing it anymore. He was pretty upset. We're the customers, and he's upset. He kept saying he wanted "his" coffee. I wanted to tell him to go to the gas station and buy one. He left.
I noticed the store was playing Christmas carols, but one of the employees had a radio and turned it to "Buzz mix", something playing rock and roll. I liked the rock better. It isn't even Thanksgiving yet, they shouldn't be playing Christmas yet.
It's like the vending machines at work, I decorate them on Black Friday, no sooner, no later. I think that is appropriate.
I got our supplies. They had everything but the tea. I bought a lot of snacks because I figured (accurately) they would be empty. I bought a box (plastic packaging) of blueberry muffins and managed to slice my finger open when I slid it between two pieces of plastic to break the seal. I had problems with it all day.
Jack came on time. He said his wife is recovering from the surgery but will need chemo. She is unhappy about that and upset about losing her hair. I told him about a wig store not far from the house (he lives in the same subdivision). He also showed me some dog photos, which I was happy to see. He has a very happy dog. Her tail was wagging and she was "smiling" in all the photos.
We went to work. I saw the bottled vendor was broken, and had apparently done so right after we left town. Nothing worse than coming home to a full, broken, vending machine.
I took the carts out to Jack and we loaded. Then I brought them in and attempted to fix the bottled vendor. "Turn it off, turn it on again" can do a lot of good, sometimes. Not today. [bad word} We had to leave it down.
One customer told me, repeatedly, the machine had been down for "A very long time". I told him it was working Monday and he almost argued with me. I know it was working Monday because I helped Ron stock it! Turns out he wanted to buy a bottle of water which I helped him do.
The "picker" may be frozen, but I can still open the door and take a drink out. He stopped complaining after that.
Another customer was bothering Ron about a "Free" soda, and I was thinking, there is no such thing. Someone pays for the soda. You are basically saying "Ron, you pay for the soda I want to drink, I don't want to pay you for it". That's not fair to ask. Especially considering this guy makes many times what we do in salary and benefits. Ron said no, not very gracefully, and the man left.
We stocked. Ron wanted my assistance, heavily, but wanted me to "Do snacks" also. I told him I can only do one thing at a time. I can get him drinks and stock soda, or I can stock snacks, not to mention he was using the snack cart for soda inventory. He got pretty upset.
He really lost it when I took a photo of the vending machine (it is easier to send a picture message, than describe the problem over the phone), sent it to the repairman, and then texted back and forth a few times about a good time to come for the repair. Ron got mad about that! Not that I was taking initiative, he didn't care about that, but I was "messing with my phone and not working". I was working! The repair will not happen without notifying the repair man and setting an appointment!
I reminded him of this and he calmed down. I did "my" snacks and we left. We came home, I took a nap. I slept pretty late, almost 5 PM.
I got on the computer for a while and then called my adoptive Mom. Last week, Dad made it pretty clear, if I wanted to call, I should call her, he would be busy.
Like she said, "It's something he's wanted to do for a long time" and what could I do anyway? So I called her and told her all about the trip. She was interested.
Let me be clear, she was very nice. She was interested in our adventures. She told me about her relief work with the fire victims.
She has always been charity minded. We hung up and I ate a snack.
I took my pills with one of the muffins. Oh, I should probably tell you about them. We took Arturo the cab driver to go home from work. When he took the wheelchair out of the back hatch, the muffin box fell on the ground, split open, 2 muffins on the concrete. He felt terrible about it.
I didn't mind. I just made a joke about wishing we still had the possum, and threw the 2 in the garbage. The 3 were OK and I closed the container again. So I ate 2 and took my pills with them.
I know from prior experience that I am OK with taking my pills with the muffins.
I wanted something salty, so I ate a can of mixed vegetables (they were OK, but had celery) and a bag of sunflower seeds. Now I'm getting ready to go to bed.
It's been a long week but I am pretty pleased with my handling. I think I did a decent job. Ron is in one piece, we only lost one thing, it was mine, and not important,
We have tomorrow off, our first real day off in a while. All my time has been prepping for the trip the last little while.
I do need to give Ron his b-12 shot. He gets his iron infusion on Tuesday and I asked him if he wanted them to do it. They are, after all, trained medical professionals and I have seen her give shots to other patients. I would just bring in the syringe and vial.
No, Ron protested. He likes when I do it. I think it makes him feel special. I don't pretend to understand. But I will do what I can for him.
So, tomorrow, I give him a shot.
We had a good ride to Sam's. The driver is normally always, significantly (30-45 minutes) late when he gets us but today he was a couple minutes early. Ron was in a bad mood, complaining a lot.
We arrived at the store. It was open. The driver went in, looking for his "usual" cup of "free" coffee and a snack, but they aren't doing it anymore. He was pretty upset. We're the customers, and he's upset. He kept saying he wanted "his" coffee. I wanted to tell him to go to the gas station and buy one. He left.
I noticed the store was playing Christmas carols, but one of the employees had a radio and turned it to "Buzz mix", something playing rock and roll. I liked the rock better. It isn't even Thanksgiving yet, they shouldn't be playing Christmas yet.
It's like the vending machines at work, I decorate them on Black Friday, no sooner, no later. I think that is appropriate.
I got our supplies. They had everything but the tea. I bought a lot of snacks because I figured (accurately) they would be empty. I bought a box (plastic packaging) of blueberry muffins and managed to slice my finger open when I slid it between two pieces of plastic to break the seal. I had problems with it all day.
Jack came on time. He said his wife is recovering from the surgery but will need chemo. She is unhappy about that and upset about losing her hair. I told him about a wig store not far from the house (he lives in the same subdivision). He also showed me some dog photos, which I was happy to see. He has a very happy dog. Her tail was wagging and she was "smiling" in all the photos.
We went to work. I saw the bottled vendor was broken, and had apparently done so right after we left town. Nothing worse than coming home to a full, broken, vending machine.
I took the carts out to Jack and we loaded. Then I brought them in and attempted to fix the bottled vendor. "Turn it off, turn it on again" can do a lot of good, sometimes. Not today. [bad word} We had to leave it down.
One customer told me, repeatedly, the machine had been down for "A very long time". I told him it was working Monday and he almost argued with me. I know it was working Monday because I helped Ron stock it! Turns out he wanted to buy a bottle of water which I helped him do.
The "picker" may be frozen, but I can still open the door and take a drink out. He stopped complaining after that.
Another customer was bothering Ron about a "Free" soda, and I was thinking, there is no such thing. Someone pays for the soda. You are basically saying "Ron, you pay for the soda I want to drink, I don't want to pay you for it". That's not fair to ask. Especially considering this guy makes many times what we do in salary and benefits. Ron said no, not very gracefully, and the man left.
We stocked. Ron wanted my assistance, heavily, but wanted me to "Do snacks" also. I told him I can only do one thing at a time. I can get him drinks and stock soda, or I can stock snacks, not to mention he was using the snack cart for soda inventory. He got pretty upset.
He really lost it when I took a photo of the vending machine (it is easier to send a picture message, than describe the problem over the phone), sent it to the repairman, and then texted back and forth a few times about a good time to come for the repair. Ron got mad about that! Not that I was taking initiative, he didn't care about that, but I was "messing with my phone and not working". I was working! The repair will not happen without notifying the repair man and setting an appointment!
I reminded him of this and he calmed down. I did "my" snacks and we left. We came home, I took a nap. I slept pretty late, almost 5 PM.
I got on the computer for a while and then called my adoptive Mom. Last week, Dad made it pretty clear, if I wanted to call, I should call her, he would be busy.
Like she said, "It's something he's wanted to do for a long time" and what could I do anyway? So I called her and told her all about the trip. She was interested.
Let me be clear, she was very nice. She was interested in our adventures. She told me about her relief work with the fire victims.
She has always been charity minded. We hung up and I ate a snack.
I took my pills with one of the muffins. Oh, I should probably tell you about them. We took Arturo the cab driver to go home from work. When he took the wheelchair out of the back hatch, the muffin box fell on the ground, split open, 2 muffins on the concrete. He felt terrible about it.
I didn't mind. I just made a joke about wishing we still had the possum, and threw the 2 in the garbage. The 3 were OK and I closed the container again. So I ate 2 and took my pills with them.
I know from prior experience that I am OK with taking my pills with the muffins.
I wanted something salty, so I ate a can of mixed vegetables (they were OK, but had celery) and a bag of sunflower seeds. Now I'm getting ready to go to bed.
It's been a long week but I am pretty pleased with my handling. I think I did a decent job. Ron is in one piece, we only lost one thing, it was mine, and not important,
We have tomorrow off, our first real day off in a while. All my time has been prepping for the trip the last little while.
I do need to give Ron his b-12 shot. He gets his iron infusion on Tuesday and I asked him if he wanted them to do it. They are, after all, trained medical professionals and I have seen her give shots to other patients. I would just bring in the syringe and vial.
No, Ron protested. He likes when I do it. I think it makes him feel special. I don't pretend to understand. But I will do what I can for him.
So, tomorrow, I give him a shot.
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