So my friend at work found the box of work I had done and the note I left for the manager and asked me about it. I told her they had ganged up on me and threatened my job (short version for you) and she was livid. She is friendly with the personnel manager and will likely register a complaint. Good. I think it is better if something like that doesn't come from me directly.
I had at least 2 very grateful customers tonight so I know I'm doing a good job. That's it for now.
I am certain she is an overwhelmed caregiver. She was almost in tears when I finished helping her and I really did nothing. 💙
Please. And pray for the recipients too. Thank you.
Hoping for a boring and drama free night. I believe difficult boss leaves in 2 hours and hoping she ignores me in the meantime.
Got a giant candy bar for my buddy I know he will like that.
Racist , political, newspaper guys handing them out at MY intersection but not on my corner. The white man is out to GET you nonsense. Someone left one on the bus and I read it. Hope they are gone tomorrow.
I have a sneaking suspicion I gave them the idea with my Bible Handouts. I had done them for years before they started.
If they are not gone I will probably go to another venue. That's it for now!
I am hearing more and more how bad it.is at the Northline area. I will continue doing Bible Handout research but it sounds like a real hellhole. Which is exactly what I want.
On last bus I had a new one: homeless man blocking the meter so no one could pay not just him. The driver was getting off and didn't care.
Bus driver happy to see "(That) little bag of candy" which was fun.
If I get to work early I will take care of something before I clock in. That's it for now.
Last night was pretty busy. I did some CYA as well. The other day at work the boss implied I knew how to do something I did NOT and I didn't get a chance to tell her "Hey you never trained me on that" so I left her a note clearly explaining I HAVE NOT BEEN TRAINED teach me and get me the tools I need I can help you. Because the bosses are always complaining about "having" to do this job. But they haven't showed me how to do it.
One boss in particular really hates this job so if I don't hear anything I will approach her directly. Sad I have to do this at all.
We got rid of some old timers and got some new people, one of whom has been covering for me on occasion. I asked her if anyone has sat her down and taught her. "No" she replied, so when we both had a minute I sat down and taught her. They just shoved me out on the work floor with no training so I don't want her to sink or swim like I did, and I told her that. I also told her that they have training videos on the computers back in personnel if she can get permission and go back to watch them. Yes, she could theoretically "replace" me but I am here to help people not to stab them in the back.
For instance, when I got hired the girl who "trained"me just had me watch her do one thing for a few days and that was it. She never mentioned "Oh we do this and also that and this is how you do it". No,just the one thing. She has been fired since then but you get the idea. I got in trouble more than once because I did not know we also did B and C.
They had a lot of "deadweight" at work people who mainly stood around talking and did very little work, also had very negative attitudes towards the company and the customers. A lot of those have been fired.
I never forget the customer puts money in my pocket. Never forget that. And a customer came in last night and asked to give a compliment. My boss wasn't there but a friend of hers was so I sent him to her.
I am so old I have AOL mail. They changed it up; but that's good because the old email was very hard to delete. I messaged a "good" church yesterday about a possible ride for Sundays (while I have Sundays off) so we will see if it happens if NOTHING else I will get prayer backing for the Handouts which I always covet. If that works out I will let you know.
I would like to be around people who understand my motivations.
Oh and yesterday something I will go ahead and lose my heavenly reward (Matthew 6:1-3). Since I had the gift card I bought a burger the way I like (with the bbq sauce instead of ketchup and mustard, also bacon and cheese) and gave it to one driver who was thrilled to get it. He knew me so knew it wasn't tainted. Anyway he asked me for a Bible which was great, it was for his girlfriend. I had apparently already given him a Bible. I wasn't even wearing the Bible hat. I met his physical and spiritual needs.
One last thing. I did something to my forearm so I have a bruise and it looks like someone grabbed me. I bruise easily so I have no clue how this happened. But it reminds me of Bad Times with Ron and also when I had the guy beat me up trying to mug me. I think it was hand cart related but just not sure. But it makes me sad and angry every time I see it.
Ready to go. I am wearing a black broomstick skirt and an oversize performance t. People call it a "dress" when I do so I guess it is OK. Very cranky buss did not "dress code" me on it. It covers EVERYTHING and is very light and loose.
That's it for now.
Made it to lunch and nuked my burger 20 seconds. Delicious.
Someone has a work radio on in the breakroom it is very annoying. And, I suspect, a violation of labor laws.
Other than that it has been OK.
But I made it to BK. I got a double cheeseburger with bacon and bbq sauce only.
It was delicious. A driver wanted a Bible (asked ME I was just giving him candy) that was awesome. Please pray for him and his girlfriend. Also ALL my recipients.
Hopefully that will be a good day. I can use prayer especially for BOSS.
I also emailed a good church asking about rides. We will see. Hard to find a wholesome church with solid teachings these days. Worth a little trouble if necessary.
I will be praying for YOU today as well.
Sometimes I have to obscure or eliminate details in my blog so things don't track back to me. I had enough trouble with people knowing my full name, I don't need them knowing where I work (store #) or what I do.
Ron did what I now see as typical abuser behavior. He would get worked up about something, take it out on me, and then excuse it by saying something like "I was worried about ____ " as though that excused him calling me a stupid bitch or whatever.
I have asked God for help with this sort of thing so I don't end up in another bad relationship. So there is a woman I know in my life.
There is an ongoing issue in her life I do not consider major. I can't share details. But it is a minor issue. Recently she was incredibly rude to me around this.
If I could share the details you would say "Is THAT all?" and shake your head.
So she was very rude to me several times in one day. I just walked away from her every time as it was obvious she was going to use "her drama" to "excuse" it.
Yesterday she tried to tell me "more details" about her "big"drama and I told her I didn't want to hear it. She was very taken aback as normally I do listen to all the grisly details, trying to be "polite". But "Why?" I told her. "I don't want to hear about it. And you were VERY rude to me yesterday".
"Oh" she replies "I was very worried about (my) BIG DRAMA" remember this is NOT a major issue it is akin to "my (healthy) sister had a head cold" type issue
"You may have been" I replied "But you were still VERY rude and that does NOT make it OK" and I walked off as she sputtered. I was very pleased with myself.
If God has another relationship for me I will never find a healthy one if I do not have good boundaries and I am DONE with people treating me like crap "Because I HAVE DRAMA" 99% of those dramas are ones you created anyway.
And a good example why you don't "have" to act like a jerk: immediately after Ron's accident, when he woke from the coma, and the last couple months of his life, when he was bed bound, in agonizing pain,and his brain rotting from Alzheimer's, when he had more "drama" than he ever had in his life, more physical pain than most can imagine, physical immobility,a prisoner in his body, wearing a diaper. He was as sweet as a little lamb. If he did snap at me he repented immediately and would cry if I didn't forgive him immediately. He was so appreciative of every little thing I did and so sweet. It made it much easier to care for him.
So if someone like that doesn't "have" to lash out than no one does. And I am done with being treated that way even by an acquaintance. Man, woman, it doesn't matter.
I can't do much about my bosses but I can set limits with others. And I guess I have the kind of face people want to tell me things. One of my drivers was telling me how she had to wear 2 maxi pads and an adult diaper during the worst of her fibroids before she had outpatient surgery to eliminate them.
I stood in line at the bank yesterday, on my lunch, for 20 minutes just to hear nope, no way, ain't happening. I bought myself a pulled pork sandwich for my lunch and ate that, got a migraine about half an hour later. I was stuck working so I had a coworker go get my headache pills out of my bag. I don't care if she sees the bags of candy I hand out with the tracts as long as I got those headache pills! Which I am now keeping in my vest!
I had to take 3 doses of headache pills for that. Total. But I did eliminate it. It was a pretty miserable ride home but the worst was waiting outside in the heat. It was so hot it hurt. And then walking home with my stuff in feels like 115 wasn't much of a treat either.
I fell on my right middle finger about a month ago. I did not see a doctor. I could bend it and type on it. But the finger is now crooked. It still does everything I want it to do, though, so I don't care. It is not bad but it does lean more into the ring finger now. I'm almost 50 now, I don't care about looking pretty. If it bothers me it will remind me to pray for the Bible Handout recipients. I don't want surgery or anything and I will continue to wear my splint.
At some point I would like to get it X rayed and find out what exactly I did to it. But there's no rush.
I need to take my shower; the plan is to leave early and go to Burger King and get a burger on the way into work. I have my gift card.
If possible I will do a quick post before work to tell you how that went.
That's it for now.
So last night my parents said they would call me at 8:30. I waited up until 9, sent them a (nice) message and went to bed. No message on my voicemail today I hope they were not in a wreck.
Normally I go to bed at7-8 on a work night and then get up around 4-5. I had set my alarm for 3:45 figured I would get up, have some caffeine, go back to bed. That has worked in the past and then get up around 4:15. I went back to sleep, woke up, what time is it and it was 5:50.
I still have to take my shower, do my God Time, make my lunch, and do up the candy. So I need to get going.
I got it all done and am bringing my tablet to read before work and/or on my lunch.
I am tired in spite of oversleeping I guess God figured I needed the extra 2 hours. I still don't know what I did but I think I will move the phone across the room so I actually have to "get up" to "get up".
Biscuit brought me a snake last night while I was on the toilet. It escaped before I could corral it so there is a snake in here somewhere. That will be fun to come home to!
That's it for now.
Something today just really bothered me.
First of all MY job was fine no problems there I worked my butt off all day like I do and the boss on duty did notice (she was part of my tongue lashing yesterday).
There is a woman at work who looks somewhat like me. She is shorter than me, heavier,but also white, middle aged, graying brown hair and glasses. People sometimes call me by her name.
She likes to talk about her 2 adult kids and the dog. The boy is in his 20's, autistic, "Bipolar, AND manic-depressive and the manic-depressive is worse" (ignorant it is the same thing), doesn't take medication except they force feed him an anxiety pill when he has a meltdown which is often, came to the store one day and trashed it because his mother wouldn't leave early. She did leave early, took him home, and 3 days later she and her husband bought him an X box "Because we were planning it anyway". When I asked the disingenous question "Isn't that rewarding bad behavior?" she got angry at me and didn't speak to me for a while.
Her dog is no better runs wild chews everything urine and feces all over the rental house. She likes to talk about the dog's bowel accidents while I am eating and I have to shut her up.
And the daughter is also mid 20's "Gets a lot of migraines" (note that). I asked if she had seen a specialist as the mother has a generous health insurance plan. "Oh no she doesn't want to" I asked if she kept a food log "A what?" and I explained it. "Oh no she won't do that".
The operator was in the breakroom today saying the husband had called several times demanding the mother leave work early because the daughter had another migraine. The girl is in her 20's. She is not disabled. She won't see a doctor. I don't feel sorry for her.
But the mother was nowhere to be found she had left early for "some" reason, not to see the daughter. So I imagine there will be a big blowup at her house tonight as the operator said she was not answering her cell per the husband.
I hate it when people bring drama like that to work. I am there to work not to be a participant in your DRAMA.
Speaking of drama I felt terrible for the teller at the bank. She was able to see me right away but it was bad news.
But maybe the check was meant to be encouragement only. I don't know. I am not mad or upset.
On the way home I gave a bag of candy to a nice young lady. She said she had heard about me from (another one of my recipients) and had wanted to ask but was shy. Then she ate a lollipop and got on the same bus I did.
There was a creepy young man on my first bus. He was wearing $400 sneakers, dirty khakis and a dirty white t shirt. He kept staring at me and trying to get my attention, yawning loudly, waving his arms around, clearing his throat, typical narcissistic stuff I remember with Ron. I did not bite but he kept staring. I got off before he did and he did not follow me thank God. But I need to bring my knife. I just got a bad hit off him. Call it gut instinct. Holy Spirit. I don't know but something sent up a red flag. And when I got off the bus at my home stop I made CERTAIN I was alone before I walked home. I should have prayed I am ashamed to admit I did not.
That was about it.
It is made out to Ron AND me. Not OR. OR they could have done it.
So that is disappointing. Other than that work day has been OK except for some nausea.
That's it for now.
I felt ego was driving me more than a desire to save people. I still have candy + booklets and a couple of Bibles. That should keep me busy going home.
Store did not have diet Dew just Dew Zero so hopefully that will be the worst thing today. 🤔
The lady who likes the seaweed snack is here today that will be fun. 😂
I slept OK but upset when I got up. Like anyone, I don't like people threatening my job. I have thought about explaining Fetal Alcohol Syndrome to my boss because I may really appear to be "stupid" (not her words but her thought) in comparison to some others. But then I had the thought if she thinks I am "defective" she may just fire me rather than adapt. I could see that, easily, so I will not. She has never once directly asked me why I ride the bus to work and it has never come up with her; it has with other managers and associates. Maybe no one has told her? I don't know. I am not in a hurry for her to find out after yesterday. At any rate yesterday she told me she is off today so I won't have to deal with that.
I will just go in and do my job the way I always do. Do a good job. That's all I can do. I don't deal with the backstabber/snitch much our shifts only overlap by an hour. And Thursday/Friday is her weekend. Saturday/Sunday is mine. I can do this.
I will DEFINITELY be digging into the Bible study today I want to be "fed" before I go back. And on that note I need to take my shower.
Later: hopefully this will be my worst problem today. Biscuit was in my computer chair so I was sitting in another chair. Spotty came by and meowed at me, I patted my lap. He got up and positioned himself so I was cradling him with his head on my (clothed) breast. He began purring,meowing,and kneading. So cute. I told Spotty he was the "Best cat" and realized Biscuit was right there and I usually call Biscuit that. Oops. Biscuit just looked at me. I think Spotty is getting his butt kicked after I go to work.
That's it for now.
So work was OK but I made a small mistake. Another coworker caught it and tattled, getting me in BIG trouble. Customers and associates were not affected, the company did not lose money, they (2 bosses) did not like the way it looked so I got shouted at and made to feel VERY stupid. Then intimidation and threats. Over a very minor issue.
I know of 3 customers called in compliments on me but I never heard a peep. Did I complain? No. Only the fact I HATE LOOKING FOR WORK kept me from saying something.
Anyway I left with an impure heart feeling bitter and resentful. I asked God to help with that. And I asked Him for some encouragement if He wouldn't mind.
On the first bus I encountered a former paratransit driver who remembered us and was very kindly. That helped a lot. My driver on that route (short version) was ALSO "thrown under the bus" by HIS coworker so I realized it's not just MY job. I told him I needed to see that and we all had a laugh.
Then I JUST caught my last bus. When I checked the mail I had a check from the IRS for my 2020 refund. It was about 75% of my paycheck (every 2 weeks) so I can now say I am NOT worried about the electric bill.
For real, peeps. Needless to say I feel encouraged!
[Last night] One of the medications I take, I had forgotten, messes with the body's heat tolerance. I think I have been heat sick.
I will be buying some Gatorade powder at work tomorrow if they have it. I am a little mad at myself I can't even take a cool bath without getting sick I should have figured it out.
And that puts the kibosh on the "regular" Bible Handouts for the next little while, too. Agh. But the house is a mess and I can do some prep work for the Handouts in the meantime (writing up those index cards for instance, I never did get a taker on that).
[Today]
I didn't sleep well but I think I slept long enough. I had Biscuit and Cleo in my bed that's always a good time.Cleo has this adorable thing where she licks my hand on occasion. I try not to use hand lotion or sanitizer as a result.
My stomach is better and I don't feel so weak and sick. I am pretty sure it was either a bad sandwich or heat illness I think heat illness because I never had any digestive signs other than the nausea.
But I can still do Handouts in the early morning. But for now I am going to focus on prep work so everything will be ready to go for the next Handout.
And, yesterday, I had 4 women ask for Bibles just off the little sign on my cart so I can keep doing that. Please pray for all the recipients, protection from demonic attacks, desire to read the Bible, led to the right passages, guidance and peace, etc.
I need to take a shower, do my God Time, get dressed, meal prep, breakfast (I had a banana already just as a warmup for my stomach).
The protein shake settled OK. I did up candy for the drivers (with Gospel material) and candy for work (without). I am not to worried about people at work though. There are devout Muslims doing prayer time in the break room and also new age people talking about the best crystals. I'm just one of the crowd but I don't plan to directly hand anything out.
If asked for a Bible I will direct them to my bag in the breakroom and they can help themselves.
My ride will be a little late he says (for him probably 3 minutes) so I have a little more time online. That's it for now!
Things you do know: as a child I was severely neglected by my bipolar, alcoholic, mother to the point child services got involved. What you don't know after that my parents split and my Dad placed me in daycare. It was a good place for me.
It was run by a kindly yet firm 20 something black lady who was the first stable female figure in my life. So I consider it an honor to serve the black community and in particular black women; a little loving payback. I was with her for 3 years until my Dad remarried and I started school. She was good for me. I am sorry I don't remember her name.
I didn't feel well I am just kind of dizzy today. Run down feeling and overall not well. I am presuming some of it is the heat and some of it residual food poisoning. My appetite is coming back though and I was thinking how nice it would be to have some ham and proscuitto sandwiches in my lunch. So I went to Kroger.
I had to wait half an hour in the heat at the bus stop but I had the Free Bibles sign on my cart. And a carload of women pulled up about 25 minutes in and all wanted Bibles. I had some of the "nice" ones with me, exactly 3. I had done them up with a tract and a "praying for you daily" index card. I was happy to hand them out.
I got to the Kroger and got my fancy ham, and some regular ham, also some "priced to sell" Chappel Hill sausage. My father in law loved their sausage. I went out to the bus stop with the "Satan is Better" graffiti and waited on my next bus. The driver was a very large man and not at all interested in candy.
I got off and crossed at a safe spot. I waited at my next bus stop so I could catch the bus to go home. I had the cart turned to face the street with the sign visible. I got on the bus and gave the driver her candy. She sat and looked at it for a minute and read the title on the Scripture booklet. She just sat there.
Then she very quietly asked for a Bible. I was delighted to dig around in my bag and give her not only a NLT Abundant Life New Testament (I need more!) and a Bible Promise book (I felt led). She thanked me and drove me to my stop.
I struggle with the cart it can be a hassle. The milk crate fell off when I was crossing the very busy street. I had to stop in the middle of the street and reposition it. That's probably my least favorite thing, traffic. I have fear issues. So not fun.
I didn't feel well and the heat didn't help that. But 4 women got Bibles today so I am happy, honored, and humbled they chose to ask me for a Bible.
Now I pray for them.
So I spent a pretty rough night headache and queasy, but I made it. Not quite a migraine.
I am listening to a sermon online. The God of our trials
For me I believe this is all working for humility. Keeping me usable for the Handouts. So I can deal with it for that.
By the way I am pretty sure I broke my finger 3 weeks ago on the Handout it still bothers me. But I can use it so I'm not worried.
Today will just be running errands and house cleaning. Hopefully I will get a nap in there too.
That's it for now.
So queasy. I laid down for a while after I did my Bible study, got up, went to the Asian grocery store. It is in a pretty rough area next to a Section 8 apartment complex so they always hire a uniformed policeman as a bouncer. He told me (laughing while he said it and looking at my hat) I couldn't shop with my cart. I cheerfully acquiesced. After all, it would be a really terrible witness if I didn't. I felt kind of goofy wearing the Free Bibles hat without any Bibles at hand but I respect the business. By the way they had a whole aisle of incense and shrine stuff for idols, I guess, I didn't look closely.
I have a very pleasant coworker, very thin and healthy, does not ever want candy or sugar treats. I have been teasing her saying I would bring her some roasted seaweed snacks and we have laughed about it. Today I did it. I also got her some green tea mochi it looks revolting, though. I got some instant ginger crystals and some ginger chews which will hopefully help my stomach.
I went to my local grocer and it was very busy as I expected. I bought some bland snacks and more candy to hand out, went home.
I am going to take a nap. I handed out 3 bags of candy with a tract.
Dad bought me 2 hand carts. One is one of those bigger, wire basket "Old lady" types great for groceries and Bible Handouts. I also have a smaller one that is basically an L shape with a retractable handle and a milk crate I mounted on it with some bungee "ropes" (Ron's term). I figured out a way to put a small "Free Bibles" sign on that and have been taking that to work (the sign comes off,and my Free Bibles hat,when I get off the bus at work).
I have been standing next to "busy street" for a couple of years now going to work trying to figure out a way to reach out to all those cars. The sign seemed a good way to do it.
I know the cars see it because I went out the day after Sandy Hook and I had a sign mounted on my cart like that (not thinking about cars on the way to the handout it was just a practical way to carry the sign). And I had 2 cars pull over, seeing the sign on the cart, while I waited at the bus stop. I remember that.
So I thought it might be a good way to try. And yesterday a nice man in dreadlocks pulled over, got out of his car, walked up, and asked for a Bible. It was great! I will keep doing that! Please pray for him!
Work was OK except for being queasy. I got it all done that is the important thing. Ace (cab driver buddy) came right on time. I asked him to come a couple minutes "late" so I could get him a Dr Pepper and he said he liked the root beer better, so I got him one. It is easy to put this hand cart away and with it I can carry several of the nice, bigger, Bibles. I would rather have the one hand cart vs. several bags.
My adopted Mom called me a "bag lady" once and I do look like one on occasion.
Still queasy today but I did sleep OK. We had a lot of lightning last night but no rain. It didn't affect my power but I did unplug everything.
Cats are good Cleo got in bed with me for a while, and Biscuit of course. Spotty seems to get Ron's old (Bible) room so I will see him during Bible study.
That's it for now!
One of my sweet Asian co workers gave me some crackers to help with the nausea. I saved them and had a bite after I had run out of soda.
FISH flavored. Like, OLD fish it was ghastly and I didn't have a drink. Oh that was terrible.
On my lunch now. I work at a Walmart so I bought some ginger root capsules and took 4, also some pepto tablets. And a cold diet Pepsi from the vending machine. That should do the trick. And I only need to work a little over 2 hours, with a break, when I go back. Then I have 2 days off. I can do this.
That's it for now.
Bolthouse farms makes a carrot juice that is very good and in the chiller case. V8 makes a cheaper carrot juice they sell off the shelf.
I got the cheap one even though I love the Bolthouse. I took it with my medication and OH SO QUEASY. I am NEVER drinking that stuff again.
I have no idea what I am going to do for breakfast, for instance. I do know hard years of experience have taught me not to eat if I am this queasy.
I basically work at a grocery store so I'll find something but UGH queasy.
I do ask God to keep me humble and stuff like this will do it!
Wednesday night we had severe weather. Every week or so the last couple weeks we have had a severe thunderstorm. Wed did not seem that bad where I live but Bush Airport had gusts of 98 mph. My personal neighborhood was basically unaffected, walking to work was fine, the crosswalk where I go across the busy street was fine, but once I got on that second bus it was loco - telephone poles down, fences down, huge tree branches and whole trees down. The bus was delayed and had to take a detour.
We get to the transit center (Mom and Dad were quite horrified to hear the drivers use porta-potties that are locked up in metal cages), with the usual puddles of urine everywhere, watch your step, branches too. My last bus was very late and seemed totally frazzled when she did pull up.
I could see why the Holy Spirit had prompted me to bring a more generous offering than I usually do. I said "It must be bad today" my way of saying "You're really late" and she gasped out that yes it was terrible get on.
So I did. It took a very long time to get to work due to fences down, trees down, every major traffic light out. And there are a lot of traffic lights. Interestingly enough the one I use by work was OK yesterday. But I got to work an hour late.
BUT I always plan for worst case so I was still on time. Work itself was not bad.
Now I feel I have to be careful about pride especially doing evangelism. People are always telling me how great I am, how brave, etc. I'm not I am just a saved sinner who goes where God wants me. But I can get arrogant. So I ask God to keep me usable.
Last night I helped a customer who was really nice and said he was going to call 1-800-WALMART and tell them how great I was. It would be nice if the compliment gets back to me but we will see. I didn't tell anyone about this.
Not long after, 2 of my bosses did a training for me that was basically "Hey stupid you're doing it all wrong, you do it THIS WAY, OK?" It was very humiliating but I reminded myself it was working on my pride. And I had some difficult customers as well. I tripped over my own feet a couple times going to the bus stop, minor stuff like that which does keep me humble.
Hopefully I won't have to fall again, that was NO fun.
There is some hope my 2 bosses will not be there today but we will see. I do my job well either way. But a break would be nice.
My cab driver friend got me he was very nice about it. I tried to buy him a cold Dr Pepper can from the vending machine but the wrong soda came out. It reminded me of days with Ron. He drank it anyway (it was root beer). He is getting me again tonight and then I will talk to him about next week.
Jack has been MIA with his family problem (niece in fatal car wreck and great-niece badly injured). I am sure he'll come back sooner or later. I like using him in the morning because the cab driver has to come at least a dozen miles to get me.
By the way, the cab driver, I am going to call him Ace, saw me on the last Bible Handout. I waved at him and he waved back. He was laughing talking about it last night. I don't care if I make an ass out of myself if I am reaching out for Jesus.
I will do another post before I leave.
We had severe weather last night that left a path of destruction across Houston. Trees and fences blown down, traffic lights out, took me an extra hour to get to work.
Thank God I have a ride home. Work has been OK we have a generator. When I left the house had power so I assume I still do.
Hopefully tomorrow will be much less exciting. On my lunch.
We had a pretty good storm roll through here and I slept some after it passed; had Biscuit in bed which is always awesome.
Woke up and decided to do up some Bibles to hand out. I had done up some index cards with "I'm praying for you daily!" and various Bible verses but it is a lot of work.
So here is the proposition: would any of MY BELIEVERS be interested in helping me do up cards? I am OK on Bibles for now but I could use more of these cards. I have done them up fancy with a couple of little Christian themed stickers or just barebones with the phrase.
If so here is what I would like: verses from OT would go on plain white index cards (you can dress up if you want) and ones from the New Testament (I hand out a lot of New Testaments so would really need these the most) on a colored index card so I can tell them apart. And we could do "We're praying for you daily". Then of course you would pray for everyone every day.
If it sounds good hit me with a comment which I will not publish and I will get you my address. The only thing you would need to mail it in a padded envelope because the cards will jam the DBCSS sorting machines at the Postal sorting facility.
In a good week I hand out a couple dozen items so I will ask for help. That is one thing God is showing me: I need to ask more for help and I need to be asking for protection.
That's it for now at 2 AM.
A while back I put up a wish list and one of my sponsors bought me a couple dozen of the "really nice" Bibles, fake leather cover with a cross on it, gilt edged pages, larger print, etc. I brought several of them today and boy they were popular. People were exclaiming over them when they opened the box.
Here it is, took some doing but I found it again: https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/csb-large-print-compact-reference-bible-celtic-cross-brown-leathertouch-P005814247?fbid=FBproductfeed&carid=pm:social:DPAs&fbclid=IwAR2WDsjViC-PBxjPVbfTIr9n5P0K3AXug9Xl1_-yCBlGsrNeAqqdjt5MJpo
Yes, the translation is legit and not a cult Bible. Most people have never heard of the CSB or HCSB Bible I think the Baptists do it, but it's OK I have read it. (Edit yes it is a Baptist thing)
Yes, a recipient or two might think I am "rich" but I am very clear, when asked, that friends buy me the Bibles. Today at the first grocery store I had a lady very excited about the Bible the driver had rejected; asked if she could give me money (I get that a lot), I explained I had sponsors, she said her family would like to follow what I do.
So, I gave her my whole name and email. Yes, I know. But any woman who prays over me (I told her that's what I really wanted) binding up any demons that had plans for me today, is OK in my book, and that gacked out guy at the bus stop was gone when I got back out there. I didn't have a speck of trouble all day.
Most times I ride the bus with the hat (and the sign on the cart) people ignore me but today they were ALL asking for Bibles so I got wiped out pretty quick. I got my groceries and had a good time doing it.
It looks like it wants to rain now so we will see. I plan to go to bed early.
That's it for now!
But worth it having done a Bible Handout. I will do just about anything for my recipients.
One car yesterday had the Spanish guy I talked about; I was out of Spanish Bibles but I had the booklets and I gave him a few. He was hanging onto them like they were $100 bills. He had a passenger in the front seat who was yelling at me for running out of Spanish. Then he said "You have to come here in the right spirit".
I told him I go because God has carried me through terrible times in my life; I knew there were people out there who did not have Him and I wanted them to have what I did knowing He is with me. He started to say something back but the Spanish guy shut him up and drove off.
It's up to you to decide if that is the "right spirit'. But I do know if I show up with a haughty, proud, spirit of judgement I will not only bring shame to Jesus but I personally will get into BIG TROUBLE. Some people want to assume I am there to judge; I am not.
And I'm a sinner, I sin every day. I am not any better than anyone. I guess I am just better at hiding my sins. But I "deserve" to go to hell just like everyone else and I'm only saved through grace. I know my place.
I am feeling better I am going to go do my God Time and then figure out what I'm doing. Big question is am I going to Kroger? They have better vegetables,and I need to be eating salad. A real salad with dark green leaves not that iceberg crap.
Oh something odd last night. We have subdivision mail boxes. My unit has 3 storage lockers at the bottom and then I am mailbox #10 even though that is not my street address. The other day someone sent something to me that was not cheap,it was in one of the lockers but it was open. The lockers, all 3 of them, remain open. Last night there was a key in my box like I had a package but the lockers were still open and empty.
Now I had ordered tracts from 2 different places so I am not sure if some tracts came and got stolen or what. But the expensive thing I got. Or the mailman just screwed up and put them in by mistake. I did put a box of Powerade packets in the mailbox,he won't take candy but maybe he will take that. At the very least he will know I am thinking about him.
I do feel a little bad about all the tracts and Scripture booklets but if you really want to feel sorry for someone feel it for the UPS man! Bringing all those Bibles! He was so nice though.
PLEASE PRAY FOR THE RECIPIENTS it is spiritual WARFARE out there God has made that very clear and ANYONE CAN PRAY please do. Just "Please protect and bless the recipients give them a will to open and read the Bible,and be changed by it. Please work on everyone who refused a Bible so they will want one next time, if it's Your will and in Jesus' name" something like that I would be so happy to hear you did that.
I have had a tough life and God used it I think to give me empathy for what others might be going through. I have a heart for all the hurting and broken souls out there who need Him. I want to help.
I wrote a poem about it about 13 years ago,after I started the Bible Handouts. I will put up a link because most people hate poetry and it should be your choice.
But now I'm going to do the Bible study. I will do another post before I leave.
When I get 3 cases of wish list Bibles delivered right after a Handout.
That is all (sponsor sent them).
The last day or so I have been overcome when I think that God is using me in any capacity. It is enough to bring tears to my eyes and is embarrassing.
I have had some doubts as to whether He wants me doing this Handout and will be seeking His will when I do my Bible study this morning. But the fact He puts His word in my hands to give to others; that's a lot right there.
I did a good Bible study time took my time at it. I also found a favorite Bible verse it was like encountering an old friend. Psalm 138:3 "When I called, He answered me,He made me bold and stouthearted". That was my verse after some turkey tried to mug me back in 2012
Anyway I got a later start I feel that's what God wants me to do and I aim to do His will not mine. But I need to take my shower so there's that. I will also braid my hair if my hand will let me because I don't want a thick ponytail wrapping around my neck like it wants to do during Bible Handouts.
After the Handout:
It felt like it took forever to get to the spot but I did it. I did hand out at least one Bible to a guy on the bus who saw the sign on the cart and my hat, asked for a Bible.
I went to the gas station and asked if I could use the bathroom (the first gas station not the one who turned me away, bleeding, last time), he was very nice and I bought some additional cold drinks bringing my cold Gatorade inventory to 4, or a gallon. I also got some cold iced tea and had brought some tea from the house.
It was slow and steady, took an hour and a half. It was miserably hot but I was focused so I didn't notice it as much. It was mainly people wanting one or two. Some people blocked traffic to get a Bible; that's a theme I see in the bad neighborhoods. If they want that Bible they are going to GET it. I was careful running around as they did have construction debris and did not fall this time. I drank enough that I didn't get sick. I went with a quart every 15 minutes of either the (decaf) tea, the Gatorade, or the sweet tea I had bought from the gas station. I did get a little dizzy at the end and I had to use the bathroom again so I called it.
I did at least 50 Bibles easily half of that Spanish. One guy I was out of Spanish Bibles (I underestimated) and gave him some Spanish Scripture booklets and he was holding them like a lifeline, he knew how much he needed them.
The gang watched me from the shade while I worked and I waved at at them every time I turned that way (I try to face all directions and wave at each one as they wait at the light and when they start moving). After the Handout I went back to the gas station, used the bathroom, bought snacks (do you know Hostess makes a LEMON cupcake? It is a game-changer). As I walked out I saw a drug deal and that made my second I witnessed today.
So it's the kind of place that needs some Light of the World and that's why I go. I don't like the 'nice" neighborhoods those are the kind that call the police on me and try to have me run off. I had to pass the gang to get to the bus stop so I did, keeping my eyes forward and saying "Excuse me". One of them stepped in front of me and asked some variation of "Are the Bibles really free?" Yes. "Can I get one?" Of course. Everyone who wants a Bible gets one. I showed him what I had and he took an NLT and a KJV at my encouragement "To see which one you like better". When I got to the bus stop I got passed up by the bus I wanted and I couldn't open my Gatorade.
I fell on my hand 2 weeks ago during my last handout and my hand doesn't bother me except when I am trying to twist a cap off a drink. So I went back to the gang and asked the nice young man for help, and he did. Then I went back to the bus stop.
I had an uneventful ride home,I did get the same driver twice and she took some Bibles for herself and her daughter. So that was fun. And there was another guy on the bus in the middle of that somewhere.
Please pray for that young man in the gang I feel he needs heavy prayer backing to make the right choices. Not because of the gang that is sort of inevitable in the area, you are in one whether you want to or not. But his soul that he give it to Jesus. Jesus wants him so badly and I feel he is open to the gospel.
Needless to say I will be going back. I also hear encouraging things about Airline and Berry Road, that it is a real hellhole plagued by prostitution and worse. Sounds like a great place for a Bible Handout AND has a nice looking median.
That's it for now!
So I got up got ready and left the house. I got 2 houses down when I realized I did not have my cell phone, it was still on the charger. So I went back for it. After I turned it on the text message alerts went nuts and also the voicemail alert. I looked.
I had been scheduled for 1-5 today. They had wanted me (at 9:50) to start at 10. I called them and told them that was impossible as I am on the bus and it would take me 2 hours to get there. They could, I added, send someone to pick me up if they felt it was really urgent but I did not have the $20 for a cab and had to take the bus.
Between us I am not paying $20 to go in and work the same 4 hour shift. I only net $12.40 an hour after taxes. It would be cheaper to stay home!
She said she had "already changed my schedule" and I would get a penalty mark for arriving late but "she would fix it". I have heard she is NOT good about that. But it is only half a point and I get 5 before I get into trouble. Also they drop off after 6 months and I don't have any points at present except for the one I got today. And "late" once in over 2 years, for Walmart, is spectacular.
So I caught the buses I was going to catch. I saw the man with the electric scooter on the second bus. I have seen him riding some of the same buses. He is a white guy, very clean cut (extremely unusual for a cleancut white guy on any bus I ride),very good looking. Friendly he talks to people. He kept looking at me so I smiled at him and he asked about the hat. I explained I really did hand out Bibles and got them out, let him pick what he wanted (he went with the "Invitation")/ We got to talking,he seems very nice. He gave me his name but I will call him Al.
He has striking blue eyes. Now how odd is that two men I noticed this year. Both have "A" names (Beau included, his real name), both are very nice and friendly, open to my faith (Beau wore a big cross), and gorgeous blue eyes. Interesting.
I got to work and my boss was at my work station trying to do my job and one step from a meltdown. She took one look at me and fled, I didn't see her for an hour. Good to know they appreciate what I do. Work was OK the only notable thing she said "only work 4 hours" so I punched in at 12:17 and out at 4:17.
It was funny. Remember all the 9-4 shifts I have been working? I ended up catching the same old buses home today. The last bus this was a strange one. He drives by in the wrong lane with the sign saying "12 GOING HOME" (my terms) and everyone got really excited and he passed us up making strange hand gestures.
I was pretty angry at first but then I thought if I catch a bus to the transit center I know the next one will leave there and can't pass me up. So I did that, and the next bus got candy he would not have normally because of this. Which also has salvation stuff and probably going to get saved out of it one day because driver #1 passed me up.
But it gets stranger. I actually catch up with the guy at the transit center,board, and sit down. He waited about 20 minutes then left and took me home. I don't know what that was about but I'm glad I did that. I think from now on I will just ride to the transit center.
It was pretty miserable walking home but it was only about 10 minutes. I was very pained the dog next door was out when I left and out when I came home. I sweet talked her as I walked by, I felt so bad for the poor mutt out in the heat all day.
The heat index, at one point on my ride home, was 121!
That's it for now.
I am tired and resentful I have to work a 6th day in a row but I remind myself I get 3 days off this week. I would have just rather had Monday/Tuesday but that's done now.
I had my protein shake with a side of Walnuts that always gets me going. I only work 4 hours today so that won't be too bad.
I do have to take the bus each way but am choosing to view that as new mission fields as I don't ever take these buses. Same route, different time. So new to me people hopefully open to the material I will give them.
But first I have to get dressed. Did that I am wearing my broomstick skirt; it is too hot to wait at the bus stop for an hour total, in the blazing sun, in over 100F, today. I'm not wearing jeans for that.
And the answer is I would not do "this" for Walmart; but I'll do it for Jesus. I will go to work in the blazing sun and miserable heat index, ride the bus for 2 hours, work four hours only with a very difficult co worker, and ride home in even hotter weather. I'll do it for Jesus because someone may get "candy" (with Scripture material) and have a fresh insight into God's love and that would be totally worth it.
Same with the Bible Handouts; I hate the logistics, lugging the heavy cart on and off the bus, etc. but it is worth it to see the eagerness people have for God and His Word.
That is what drove me caregiving for Ron at the end. I wouldn't change a soiled diaper for Ron God knows he didn't earn that devotion, but I would do it for God because He was asking me to do it.
That's it for now.
Busy at work but not too bad. I developed some chest discomfort and tightness drinking the decaf tea I brought so I don't think I will do that again. Got some Diet Dew and feel better.
Saw the Dr Pepper vendor I kid around with him. He is very fit, cute, and could theoretically be my grandson.
Two co workers are complaining of sore throats so I took extra Vitamin C I carry for occasions like this. I want to enjoy my days off and feel a contagious illness would have to stop me from a Handout. But Gods will not mine.
I saw a high ranking manager and put in a compliment for Nancy he was very surprised. Poor goy I dont envy those managers one bit.
Gotta go.
I have a tendency to lean negative when looking at things and I am trying very hard to break that.
So. I went to bed around 11 PM last night. I set the alarm for 4 AM because I like to have several hours to get ready. You can imagine my horror when I woke up and it was light out and 7 AM. No shower for me. I ran around frantically and forgot to feed the cats and boy Biscuit let me know it when I got home!
My only bonus the cab driver had a problem and was running late as well so I had time for most of my Bible study. I would not have wanted to have this day without it.
I have paper and digital, I have paper study Bibles, devotionals, etc. and I also have a lot of it in digital as well with some redundancies. So I read the paper stuff that wasn't backed up digitally and took the tablet with me to work and finished reading it before I started. A good way to get going; glad I did that.
I made sure my alarm is set this evening so I will be able to get up on time tomorrow. I am glad I do the Bibles the way I do for myself because I like having the duality, I guess.
Work was insane. I have a primary job and then boss lady wants me doing secondary things on top of that. I did all the primary functions very well but could not do some of the secondaries. She wasn't happy about that; the other boss was assigning me things that directly contradicted my main job. An example one boss is saying "Don't let anyone put anything there" at the same time the other boss is putting something there. Lots of customers as well and some nasty customer attitudes. I was working my butt off barely got my break, lunch, and 2 bathroom breaks and I had to beg for the bathroom.
What got me was they were scolding me for the things I couldn't do - no SINGLE person could have done all they wanted, but I didn't say that. As a former boss I figured they didn't want any "backtalk" I just said "I will do what I can" or something like that. Not only that not a single word of appreciation for all I was doing.
"Heather, you are doing a great job with the Rickermrocks and the do-dads, when you get a minute could you help out with the widgets or is that too much right now?" Oh I would have LOVED that. Walmart really needs to focus on this in my opinion and I don't care who reads this.
So I fled out of there like they set me on fire when it hit 4.
But while I was working...I couldn't log in this morning so I went to personnel and did that. When I went to take my lunch I had to go back to personnel. I rebooted my phone and I had been logged out of the app and I couldn't log in again.
I don't really have the words to explain what I needed but there is a thing you do on the phone that brings up the open windows and you can flip between, say text messages (with my log in code) and the app, so I could input the code.. It would not work for anything. I was about to cry/scream something.
The lady from electronics walked in and I asked if she could help, she took a look and said she didn't know, which was not encouraging for the techspertise in Electronics. But she said "Nancy" "was good with that stuff" so I went over to Nancy. She looked at it, asked a few detailed questions on what I wanted, worked on my phone for a few minutes, changed a setting, showed me what she did, asked if that was OK and this button here would do the little windows like I wanted, and showed me, was just wonderful. So that was done but I hadn't logged in again yet.
I was so happy with Nancy I asked if she liked chocolate and she said yes. I asked if she liked nuts because I usually gift the Symphony bar with almonds. She said no she liked plain milk chocolate. So I went and bought a giant (really says that on the package) and gave that to her, then WAS able to log in again. So that was great and hopefully NO more drama with the app.
So I could log back in from lunch, and log out - the first time it said PUNCH FAILED and I thought Oh Dear Lord Here We Go Again, sent up a quick prayer, and it did work. THEN I ran out of there like they set me on fire.
I wanted a lemonade but was done with the store so I went to the gas station. There was a guy there buying $20 of lotto tickets and only $7 of gas. He took a while. The lady mentioned in passing she was not a Walmart employee so I gave her a tract and some candy when she rang me up and she was happy to get it. That makes me very happy.
I got to the bus stop and literally 2 minutes later the bus arrived so that was not bad at all. When I got to my transfer point I was mostly in the shade so that wasn't bad, talked to a homeless lady, gave her candy and 2 Bibles. She couldn't decide which one she liked better so I gave her both and she put them in her bag (New Testaments).
I got home and found a gift someone had sent me from Amazon. A solar cell phone charger will be good after disaster. And I got the card! Encouragement and gifts! That was very nice.
Of course writing this all out makes me feel better too so that's it for now.
Biscuit still isn't speaking to me. LOL
Awful day at work. More later.
I just feel very overworked and unappreciated. I cannot stress enough how important it is to value your workers.
Also had major issues with the app today.
Didn't get enough sleep. Overslept. And a headache.
You get the idea. But feeling better handing out candy and Scripture booklets and/or tracts on the way home.
Miserably hot at the bus stops and all buses pretty empty. Saw a lot more homeless people than usual, two were lying down in the grass pretty sure having sex.
Got to work OK and got the "good" bread. I did snap and bought some diet dew. Cab is getting me later tonight so I can get more water to hand out and also a gallon of milk.
I dont mind water from the tap so I dont drink bottled water myself. But others like it and the drivers are going crazy for it.
Probably no post tonight as I have to go to bed the minute I finish my Bible study and talk to my parents. I will likely get about 5 hours sleep.
Then, tomorrow, work 9-4 and take the bus home. It will be a long day so likely not very chatty tomorrow either.
That's it for now.
All done and ready to go to work. Biscuit wants my chair so he will enjoy it while I'm gone. I think he likes it because it smells the most like me. I have a towel in it; it's just been a good idea with my life and Biscuit can be pukey at times.
I'm going to miss that air conditioner but I am dreading the bill next month; it won't be cheap. I have lots of cold water to drink and hand out. I may get some diet soda today I am not sure.
That's it for now.
I am still processing out everything that happened in my marriage. Twice last night in my dreams I was explaining parts of it to someone. I am glad they brought him back as I would have been in big trouble if Ron had died in 03. But the next 18 years were definitely a mixed blessing. Not in a hurry to get into that again. I suspect if I meet someone and it get serious he will be pushing me to commit and I will be reluctant a reversal of times with Ron.
The frozen waters were a big hit with the drivers yesterday. Doing that again today. I have $62 so doing OK. I need to get some bread, milk, and water if I can get my guy to come later tonight. I can get the bread before work but not the rest.
I am listening to my Bible Handout mix. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFDD73B1D552748FD
A couple of the songs talk about "getting crunk" for Jesus. I am a white suburban Presbyterian I had no idea. "What is 'crunk'? How do I get it?" 😂 Eventually I figured out it means excitement or enthusiasm.
I am looking forward to my next handout even though it will be hot. Surprisingly the scrape on my palm has bothered me more than the jammed middle finger. But I wash my hands a lot anyway so it didn't get infected. I also have sanitizer at work. The palm is almost better but does have a scaly, penny-sized, itchy spot so I am trying to get a lot of Essential fatty acids and Vitamin E.
Ack I got to take my shower!
That's done, did my Bible study. During it Spotty was curled up on the bed with his head resting on a Bible, but he wouldn't let me take a photo. It would have been adorable.
The dog next door is outside, barking and barking. The real temperature is going to be over 100 degrees today that's not the "feels like" that is the actual. And someone like me can choose to go out in that and go to work. But the dog is helpless. My cats have a cat door and are choosing to spend the day inside of course. That dog should be on a couch or bed in the house under an AC vent.
That house has had a procession of tenants and without fail they have all, except for one family with a doxie, severely neglected their dogs. And the owner is home the car is in the driveway.
It is sad and frustrating. I can only hope they are giving her (the dog) a lot of water. I care too much. Don't ask God to give you a big heart.
Speaking of I am worried about "Buddy" my slow friend. He lives in housing and was talking on the bus the other day about how he goes up to random young men (gang members) at gas stations telling them they need to go to work and (become productive citizens). He is going to get his ass kicked at best or shot at worst. Even I don't approach those guys I just stand there on the median with my sign and give Bibles to whoever asks.
Oh speaking of Bibles apparently a bunch are on the way. I have decided it is just easier to send links to potential sponsors, along with my address, that way they can buy whatever speaks to them. And who doesn't like shopping? It was worked out very well. There was one guy I gave a specific link to but generally I send a couple. So I am getting Spanish, more Bilingual, something else...hopefully in time for the Handout. I still have some NIV though and plenty of New Testaments. I like the New Testament in a bad area because a lot of people don't have cars and the NT can fit in a pocket.
I'm going to get dressed. I got a different color flare leg legging to wear those have been the coolest (as in not hot) thing I have found to wear to work lately. Jeans are just way too hot and miserable. So that with performance t on top gets me to work and of course I have a ride home.
That's it for now.
Tonight at work I found myself telling a female co worker how Ron used to beat me black and blue, I would go to work, and the Postal Workers would ask me what I did to piss him off. And, telling it, I realized how really awful it was and that was over half my life. And that, I told her, is why I am going to be very careful dating if I ever do. Then I think I showed her a photo of Biscuit and told her HE was my big love interest.
I prefer a "real" picture like one when I have been working all night. I talked someone into taking this for me. She said she wasn't good at photos but I think she did a fine job.
My healing spot on my hand is very itchy so I bought some Vitamin E to take internally and hopefully prevent scarring.
When I got home Spotty was waiting for me it was very sweet. It was a miserable, hot, ride to work but the frozen bottles of water were a big hit with the drivers and one other passenger.
I had a ride home so that was great. That's it for now.
My store was out of my usual low carb bread which is also high in fiber. I got the other brand. It, also, claimed to be high in fiber.
It is not. I can tell. That is all.
Ooh I went down a big rabbit hole of Christian graphic t shirts. I think I know what I want for my birthday. LOL
I don't like a lot of the t's at work for a conservative Christian "Trust in the Universe" rings alarm bells. I trust in Him, not His creation!
Almost time to go to work. I am bringing a lot of cold water with me 1. For me to drink and 2. To give away.
A week or two back (I have already talked about it and so lost my reward in Heaven) I met a woman who was very dehydrated at the bus stop. She was "nice" just didn't plan for it and was literally begging for a drink of water from my water bottle. I told her she was welcome to the whole thing but I had drunk from it and she drank about half of it before saying "But you don't have AIDS, do you?" I said of course not I am very healthy and she finished it. So I am bringing water for people like her who just don't plan.
I'm not letting someone pass out at my feet if I can help them. The Bible - Jesus in fact - says if we give a cup of cold water in His name we do not lose that reward. If I was into rewards, I'm not, I just want to make him smile.
I feel like Ron grieved Him a lot with the porn, constant complaints,and the way he treated me. I don't want to be that person.
I am wearing the flare leg leggings again they are very comfortable to wear and were not very hot yesterday. I will wash them tonight/tomorrow.
Almost time to go. I will do a little prayer time before I head out. It is going to be miserable.
Sometimes I really need to get things off my mind which means writing it out. HOWEVER today's has an excerpt that is utterly revolting and will make you gag for sure. I will flag it.
So I got up early and did my God Time,most of it. I brought the tablet with me and did the rest at work before I started. Trip to work was uneventful. I bought some liquid soap and toilet bowl cleaner (separate products 😂) and put them in my bag. I was almost out of hand soap and I am working very hard to keep the abrasions clean on my hand as I ride public transit (!) and work at a busy retail store. Then I read my Bible study and devotionals I keep on my tablet (a few things).
I try to have mostly paper Bible study because that can't run out of power or have connection issues. But I have Streams in the Desert, a Spurgeon devotional, and Daily Light for the Daily path (I also have that in a paper format). So I did that and went to work.
My friend/co worker has back issues and had to take a pain pill today which made her manic. She was a lot of fun but said something I doubted. But I did my job.
Later on I found out she was right as I heard it directly from my boss. Jack got some very bad news his niece died and his great niece is in critical condition. That is very hard. So of course he can't help me the next 4 days.
However my cab driver friend CAN so he is up.
So I finished work (they cut my hours from 7 to 5 hours today, but after the lunch break I didn't need I only lost 1 hour).
I had made up some packets for my bus drivers who don't want candy, with a tuna or chicken packet, a spork, a few mints, and a New Testament all in a baggie. I also had extra bottled water to hand out. The water, suffice to say, was a big hit. I gave the "packet" to a homeless man who wasn't bothering me at the bus stop. Drivers got the candy/tract/Scripture booklet/New Testamentwhatevers I was handing out today. I just fish something out at random.
One driver was reading the Scripture booklet at red lights which I thought was cool. So, first ride was OK.
Second ride was half an hour late.
[REVOLTING ALERT]
And he picked up a woman. She was obese, uncombed/washed hair. She was wearing light colored leggings that were several sizes too small but the stitching was doing a valiant job of keeping it together. She had dried menstrual blood at her crotch and at the tops of her thighs. She got on. As she passed me I saw feces stains in her butt crack.
[END REVOLTING ALERT]
And this, friends, is why "nice" people don't want to ride the bus, and why the "nice" neighborhoods do not want the bus in their areas. There is an old Bible story about a man who had to dip himself in a river 7 times to cure himself of leprosy. I wanted to dip myself 7 times in bleach when I got home.
[shudder] God knows I am not a neat freak by any means. I can't remember the last time I mopped my floor. But God asks a LOT of me sometimes making me ride the bus. That is all.
The cats are good and I was glad to see them. The house was significantly cooler than the outside but I hope still at a decent level with regard to expenses.
That's it for now. I am done.
It's going to be miserably hot the next week or so.
Yesterday I was in the house listening to the AC running a lot dreading my next electric bill. And I have it set at 82!
I did pay my last bill it was about $50 so hopefully the new one won't be too bad.
But I will need to figure out the Bible Handout. I have the performance fabric t shirt in a very loud safety orange so I can skip the (very hot) safety vest and still be safe. I will need to bring drinks.
But that goes to how committed am I about giving up diet sugars and which is worse diet sugar or real sugar? I can get a real Gatorade type drink with sugar in it or I can get the "Zero" version which has the fake sugars. I am inclined to just get the regular one.
In the meantime I will be bringing extra water to hand out if someone needs it. (Matthew 10:42) When I was 13 I went to to a church event at an amusement park. The concession prices were very high and I only had enough for fries or a drink and I got fries,then got miserably sick with heat exhaustion and nearly passed out. They had to sit me down in the shade for a good while with an icy cold drink before I rebounded. Only much later did I learn antidepressants put you at a risk for heat stroke. It was an awful experience and I would not want anyone else to endure that. Not if I can help out. But a couple people I know got saved so that was good.
And that's the thing. I grew up Presbyterian. They never preached the gospel, how to get saved, ever. They gave me a very nice Bible when I was 8 but that was it. Then a school mate invited me to Baptist VBS (vacation Bible School). They preached the gospel THERE and I got saved. Then I went back to the Presbyterians who still didn't preach to gospel to us kids until we were well into our teens.
I'm a proponent of getting them young before the world gets a foothold, personally. I did confirmation and am a confirmed Presbyterian. If I had to choose it would be the PCA they don't believe in women in authority and have a Biblical view on sex.
I need to take my shower.
About to start. Wore flare leggings under an oversized performance t shirt. Hopefully I will stay cool on the way home.
Cats were good when I left but Biscuit had knocked over my desktop. I will need to fix that today when I get home. It was a mess.
Off I go.
Came home yard was mowed and tree gone. My volunteer yard guy took care of it. Important note: I did not tell him about it. God just put it in his head to come today!
Awesome.
For McD still had plenty of value so I got a plain iced coffee with it. Coffee, cream, ice - NO sugar or fake stuff. Pretty good eye opener.
Saw my slow buddy on the bus. He got fired and is thinking about moving to CA where they would eat him alive. But he won't hear it.
Supposed to be nasty weather next week - hot. I may have to tweak how I do the next handout. One time I bought a 10 pound bag of ice and put it in a mesh backpack which I wore. That worked pretty well. We will see. New corner continues to look good.
About to start soon.
Yesterday it was interesting on the bus. The one bus driver has a belly, not a huge one, but I noticed it. He also has hair and I guess I am weird because I like a bald or shaved guy.
That was the nice thing about Beau. He had the male pattern baldness so he had it shaved about a third of an inch long. You could see his hairline but also see his scalp and I liked it. I thought it was a very good look.
So, there was that. I am not doing anything other than handing out my usual stuff. I figure my primary job right now is to "represent" as the Gospel Rappers say. I will let the rest sort itself out.
Work was pretty uneventful, but, passing the men's department, I saw they had the performance tshirts (cooler and wick sweat very fast, that is all I wear to work in the summer as I bought about a dozen years ago) in a safety orange. And it got me thinking why wear a performance t and then the safety vest over it when I could just wear the performance t in the orange? I had seriously thought about buying one years ago for the same reason. It is going to be hellishly hot during my next Handout whenever that is so it seems smart. So I bought it.
That cut my time (I only had a 15 minute break) so I had to rush eating my sandwich but I made it.
The way home was pretty nuts. We had a mentally ill homeless guy running up and down the aisle screaming gibberish at passengers and the driver. The driver just kept going, eventually the guy pulled the bell in the middle of nowhere and got off. I told the driver "Quick, before he comes back!" and he peeled it out of there.
Then we had the Deaf lady with the toddler and infant. I usually see her in the morning going to work. Today I happened to get her on the way back. She was very stressed and the toddler was acting up (is ALWAYS acting up), with ear splitting screams for attention. It was a lot especially after the other guy.
I got off and caught my second bus, remembering I had a frozen bottle of water in my lunch bag. I pulled it out, half thawed, and gave it to the driver who almost cried for joy. I am doing that again. I went to the grocery store as they have a wet wipe I like. I also found some nitro cold brew coffee on sale for 50 cents a can. I got a snack for the last driver as I like to do that, I can't carry a bag of chips around all day but I can get it to the bus stop (those "Snack sized" 50 cent ones).
And I thought it was hysterical, I got the same driver who got a snack last time he was so excited to see me again! "Oh I loved that meal! Do you have something for me today?" That made up for the horrible ride from work. He was a little older than me and very sweet with an exotic accent.
And then I had to lug it all home because I didn't have a cart. I did that. When I got home the yard was mowed so I looked and the tree is gone! I was/am thrilled. God took care of it without me doing a thing. I did pray about it and ask Him to guide me.
I went to bed pretty early,slept well. I got a nice cuddle with the cats when I woke up and after I fed them.
I did my Bible study and going to take my shower. I need to do some housework today and I want to write up the "praying for you daily" cards I want to stick in the Bibles from now on.
That's it for now!
Last night I went to bed early. I have roll up/down (manual) exterior blinds on 2 windows in the back.
Severe weather rolled in but it's the season. Something woke me up and I heard the exterior blind banging so much I went outside to roll it up.
And there's half a tree on the ground right next to my house! 😜
I got around it, rolled up both blinds and went back to bed. This morning I had a look. House and AC unit are fine. But God had to *twist* the tree for it to land the way it did, otherwise it would have hit the roof over 2 rooms and my hall. 🤔 Very interesting.
So why did God let it fall? Probably so I can give Bibles to the cleanup crew. 😂
And I had Psalm 29 as part of my Bible study which was oddly appropriate. I am posting from cell phone or I would put up a link but check out Bible Gateway and type in "Psalm 29".
That's it for now. I will put up photos when I can.
I have apparently detoxed from the diet soda. I slept OK even though I had a lot of caffeine from the iced coffee.
I just have to get through today and then I have a day off, work a short day, have another day off. WHY they couldn't just give me Sunday and Monday I don't know...
Last night some young girl came in all agitated about My Application I Need to See a Manager. I explained the mangers are not meeting with applicants to "check on the status" etc. she will have to wait for the phone call. I also told her what I tell others make sure the store phone number is in the phone so you can get the call when it comes.
That wasn't good enough for her, she was flouncing around and bitching basically saying THAT rule is for OTHER people I DEMAND you get me a manager now. I DON'T LIKE MY JOB and I need another one. I explained, again, they don't see ANYONE.
I told her I was sure she felt like she was a special case but the managers saw her the same as everyone else who applied, and the answer was no. She didn't like that one bit. She finally left.
I did her a favor because if a manager had met with her they would have put a note in her file DO NOT HIRE. She probably failed her assessments every word out of her mouth was me, me, I.
That is what happens when you spend someone's whole childhood telling them they are "special". You end up with entitled little monsters who think their "feelings" trump everything else. From what I see they are useless in the job market.
I am all ready to go to work today. I am bringing my smaller cart with a box on it so I can bring the candy and groceries home. I hope it works; it will save me hours tomorrow.
I am getting burned out and the house is a mess,I need a day to just do a little light work around the house and rest. The hand will inhibit a lot of housework though.
That's it for now!
100 Bibles on the porch. I can hardly wait to start handing them out tomorrow!
Co worker is listening to a cell phone video with a crying baby. I hear enough of that on the work floor.
Headache is better after Excedrin and working on another iced coffee.
Personnel cut my hours during the week and then gave them back on the weekend. That's fine assuming I can get a ride. But I need to look at transportation budget.
That's it for now.
Horrible headache to start. Add in standing at various bus stops in extreme heat and sun, a long ride on the very loud and bouncy bus, and the head pain was almost incapacitating.
In desperation I had a plain iced coffee and a fried lemon pie which helps a lot. Let's hope it sticks or it will be a long night.
We had some severe weather come through last night. It knocked a tree down in the park on my way home. I was on my lunch and had a look outside and it was pretty crazy.
Work itself was uneventful except for the mayhem you get when you lose power a few times and the generators kick in.
I had a vicious headache all day/night yesterday but it was to be expected. I have found it disappointing that virtually everyone I know is just very ignorant about health. They spout all kinds of nonsense and I have to pretend to take it seriously or risk offending. That, with the headache, was a little taxing.
I still have the headache today but hopefully not as bad. I bought 2 kinds of magnesium yesterday one quick absorbing, it says. It did seem to help some last night so I took some more when I got up (regular mag tablet and the "quick"one).
June we do fundraisers for Children's Miracle Network (in Houston that would benefit Texas Children's Hospital), the other day at work a manager came by and said if I donated $2 I would get a sticker to put on my badge so I could wear shorts today. My boss came by and saw the sticker later and gave me a little lecture about "no booty shorts".
While, yes, I do own 3 pairs of booty shorts I would never wear them on the bus much less to work. I plan to wear a more modest (10 inch inseam) short to work today. Of course that means I need to shave my legs.
I admit I am a little vain about my legs I think they look pretty good so that will be nice to show them off. I haven't had any problem wearing the modest shorts on the bus.
I had pretty uneventful rides to work yesterday but the last driver was just having a bad day, a guy in a wheelchair who couldn't maneuver it properly (he needs to be on Metro Lift), homeless guys with rolling carts full of junk. I have seen 2 homeless people this week who must be hoarders with carts loaded to the brim with stuff most would put in a dumpster. One guy I saw twice. The driver never got a bathroom break she was running behind and couldn't stop. So I felt bad for her send up a prayer if inclined. Bus driving is not an easy job.
I feel good that I am back on a good eating plan and cutting out the fake sugars. I was utterly addicted to them, and getting readdicted to the regular sugars, again. That's a bad combo. I am doing whey protein shake with whole milk in the morning, and some walnuts. That stuck around forever yesterday which was great.
One problem I have when not eating right I am insulin resistant and always starving. I was full for several hours yesterday. I had a piece of cheese for a snack before work and then a sandwich for dinner (keto bread, 2 pieces cheese, mayo, and turkey) and that worked well and kept my total calories/carbs down. I will do that again today.
But I am back on the healthy eating and feel good about taking care of myself. It will be interesting to see how much weight I lose.
When Jack picked me up last night he said the power was out at home, it was. I still got my (personal) Bible out of the mailbox and brought that home. I have 2 small lanterns. I used those. I couldn't exactly read by them but I was able to find things.
The problem I had I could not charge my phone. That was an issue. I had some little power packs but they did not work. I need to resolve that.
I talked to my parents and went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night when the power came back (I have an old school battery run alarm clock so I would have been OK for that). I plugged in my phone and went to bed.
I got the power bill that was $45 which I thought was fantastic considering I had the AC on at 82.
That's it for now, I will do another post when I am ready to go.
I had a plain iced coffee before work and a friend brought me a coffee just now. But total carbs have been low and not a speck of fake sugars. Withdrawal should pass in a day or so. Scrape on hand is still healing.
Surprisingly no real cravings, just the headache. Total calories have been pretty low. If I can keep eating like this I should lose a ton of weight.
Crazy ride to work. One wheelchair after another which slows the bus down. Then a large pack of homeless who smelled so bad the bus driver maced all of us with air freshener. That of course did NOTHING for my head. 😂
Bought some magnesium pills today and hoping they will help.
And off to work in 20 minutes.
More on my lunch.
I slept well but woke up with a headache. Not unexpected considering I am going low carb again AND kicking fake sugars. I took some Excedrin because head trumps finger (Aleve) today. I am also down 2 pounds which is great.
I can do this. I just need to divorce food from emotions that is my big problem. A good example, when the kids were badly hurt (ER visit or when I had 4 teeth pulled for orthodontics), they would get us a sugary treat, ice cream, or in my case a shake.
So, just like a damned baby with a pacifier, I learned to put food in my mouth when I was upset. I need to separate that. I don't blame my parents I think this is very common thinking.
I made a breakfast shake today. It has milk, whey protein, a little heavy whipping cream in the blender. It was very good. It was a little low on fat so I had some walnuts with it. I do love my walnuts. I will be fine, I just need to eat a lot of fat and protein to fill me up so I don't want the carbs.
I work tonight. I have to pay for a ride home so I will actually make less than when I work a day shift even though I work "Longer". Actually I think I make about the same.
At any rate I am going to go get ready and come back.
All set to go. This headache is no joke and neither is the finger. I suspect I broke it and will probably get it checked out this weekend.
That's it for now.
My insurance is due in about a week. This morning the site was down to pay. I just now did pay so that is all "squared away" as Dad would say.
I had also promised Grace and Truth a donation for all the (many) tracts they sent and I did that as well.
I laid down for a while with the boy cats they are pretty cute. I don't know what Cleo is up to probably at one of her other houses. It sounds like we are about to get a thunderstorm so I hope she comes home quick.
I talked to my parents they are doing well. And I took my probiotic with some prebiotic fiber to support it. We will see how that goes.
I did make a mistake with an old t shirt I found. I take off my "nice" work stuff when I get home and put on something very casual. I found the t shirt. It had some cat hair on it. Turns out it ramped up my cat allergies into overdrive so I had to take an allergy pill.
And now I am tired and going to bed.
I decided to run a little late today and catch the later buses to work. After all who wants to get to work an hour and a half early? I got delayed with cats and Bible study (really digging into that and feel much better for it) and left the house later.
I was about a block from the busy street the buses run and saw him whiz by the stop. Then he stomped on the brakes and came to a screeching halt and I realized he had seen me. So I hurried up, the ground was rough so I couldn't run but it was obvious I was hurrying. I got on the bus.
He said "I was looking for you at the stop. Don't worry, I will always look for you" as he started the bus again and I gave him his candy (today's had the tract "The Value of Trials" in it). He exclaimed over it and put it away then put his hand over the RFID reader to give me a "free" ride.
Now, I'm not good with the dating stuff so I will just leave that open to interpretation. I will say he is at a good weight, about my age, takes care of himself (shaves his head daily I would guess), I find him cute. I need to find out if he is married. I will bring an extra candy next week "for your wife" and see how he reacts.
But that was a nice start. But, because of that, I ended up catching all my usual buses and getting to work early today, too. Work was fine.
I have decided to go cold turkey on trash carbs, aspartame, and diet soda. It will be a rough weekend but I will be the better for it. I have slid into some very bad eating habits and I need to stop it now before I look like I used to.
I will be drinking some carrot juice every day because I need a lot of Vitamin A. I bought some probiotics and some prebiotic fiber after work to give my body a boost. Aspartame does alter gut flora there was a study. I will also be doing Apple Cider Vinegar as well and probably some ginger tea as well. Our tea selection was wiped out at work today when I shopped so I will look tomorrow morning before work. I do have some tea at home, enough to get me over the hump.
Every time I open up my cell phone there is another article about the evils of artificial sweetener. I want to get that out of my life. I don't think it will be easy but I do hope to get through the withdrawal pretty quick.
I am not worried about caffeine at present.
And I got some low carb snacks like cheddar pork rinds. I also remembered one thing I did for Ron which was put whey protein in whole milk to make shakes. He really liked those. And they are good. So I will be doing that for myself. It has a small amount of fake sugars in it but that's OK I think. Protein can run kind of low on my nutrition reports.
I'm going to take a nap, more later.
I'm not sure if it's the Aleve or the Epsom salts but my hand is significantly better. Pain is down 95%. Stiffness down 50%. I slept great even after my brace fell off last night. I am very pleased. I thought this would be weeks of pain and discomfort but apparently not. VERY encouraging.
I did sleep OK for a change. Maybe the Epsom salts had something to do with that, too. I still plan to wear the brace and baby my hand today because I don't want to overdo it. But I am impressed.
I did of course ask for prayer too and I have no doubt that helped as well. But you can bet I am always going to keep Aleve and Epsom salts around. I never really used the salts before on an injury.
Bible verse: "Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise." Jeremiah 17:14
That was yesterday, work was OK. I had a bandage on my knee scrape because Monday my jeans kept rubbing against it and it was unpleasant. I also had a waterproof bandage on my palm scrape and wore a glove whenever I went to the bathroom. That worked OK.
"Tough" boss on vacation this week so that's a break.
I just deleted 2 paragraphs of spiteful gossip no one needs to read. Suffice to say work related about a co worker who was fired.
I was trying to pay my insurance online but it says the site is down for maintenance. I will try it later today, if that fails I will call tomorrow. I hate calling those things but I need insurance.
Yesterday was pretty uneventful. The weather blew up a thunderstorm and my last bus was late, which meant I got caught in the rain. It was pretty bad, rain blowing sideways water running everywhere on the ground, shoes, me, everything got soaked. Even with my rain coat. Phone and stun gun stayed dry though.
My hand feels a lot better, finger is stiff but the bruising is going down. My scrape burns pretty bad on the hand if I soak it in epsom salts so I may just make a compress with a washcloth and put that on my finger tonight. Oh, and I also found a huge bruise on my butt so I apparently landed there,too.
I'm going to take my shower.
Getting ready to go now; that's it for now.
