It is hard to have respect some days

Ron kept me up last night babbling drunken nonsense.  It has been my experience if I ask him to stop he gets worse, and ugly as well. 

He woke me up early today bitching and moaning because it is his birthday and we have to go in to work, for 2 hours.  2 hours, and not even early ones. 

He was the one who chose not to save for sales tax.  He is the one who wants to play the "Oh no!" last minute "Can I raise the sales tax?!" money drama, been doing it for 20 years.  He did not think last week. 

No, he didn't want to even DO the sales tax, I had to do it.  Then I told him we have Monday as a bank holiday so we will have to go in Tuesday, get some money out of the machines, write and mail the check, go to the bank and deposit the money to cover the check as they will get it quickly. 

He was FINE with it for days even though today is his birthday. 

This morning it was bitch, whine, and scream about it.  "Let the check bounce".  I keep telling him the check is not even in play, yet.  "We don't have the money" even though he just told me he has $400 in his checking account. 

Whining "But it's my birthday" even though he had NO problem forcing me to get up at 2 AM on MY birthday, years ago, and forcing me to go into work and work several hours without even saying anything nice... but I did it because that is what the business needed. 

He keeps accusing me of "playing the game" (basically, being responsible) because I see a need to pay our bills and be responsible. 

I finally told him this was HIS fault, he is the one who never wants to save up sales tax money, while at the same time spending $500 a month on vodka.  He didn't argue with me on the amount, either.  I also told him "You had weeks to pay this, and you chose to wait until the last minute". 

Now he is telling me I am a defective and he pays all the bills so he is the "real" voice in this house, so to speak.  He doesn't PAY me anything, how can I pay the bills if I don't make enough?  If he paid me a fair wage I would make a lot more. 

Now he's babbling how he's going to have to ride 2 hours, each time, three times.  That is incorrect.  Half an hour to work, 20 minutes to the bank, 15 minutes home. 

"Oh, use a Uber, you go do it all". 
"I don't have any money for that". 

So he is lying in bed feeding me a steady diet of verbal abuse thinking he can wear me into "agreeing" to cancel the trips (how I'm supposed to get to work and the bank?).  What I find most upsetting is the fact he thinks this will work; trying to bludgeon me into going along with him.  Have I, in the past?  I don't think so. 

But the fact that he thought it would work is upsetting. 

He kept going on "I was going to pay" so I told him he had better be careful with his threats to make MY life miserable, I knew where he kept the vodka, I knew where he kept his cell phone.  If I took both he would be in BIG trouble.  I also told him he needed to clean his @ss crack because it stank and he would make the drivers ill. 

Now he is going on about how he won't have sex with me because I am "fat" and revolting.  I told him some time ago, we were talking about a fetish of his and I said that was very unsanitary.  He was shocked to hear that and some basic information about female anatomy.  How bacteria is transferred from one area to another and it is a REALLY bad idea to use some positions as a result...and I would not, again.  He was all bent about that but no sex is worth a bladder infection. 

Now I am a "freeloading bitch".  I told him I at least paid my debts unlike him who spent the exact amount if the loan, due, on vodka.  If I were the alcoholic I would scale back to drinking something cheaper and save the difference. 

He kept going on how Dad loaned "Him" money.  I said he did not - did not mention Ron has, to my knowledge, NEVER paid back a loan, one woman had to take him to court - Dad had loaned the money to me so I would have plumbing and Ron was incidental.  I said, further more, even though I made a lot less I had been the one to pay Dad back. 

I didn't ask Ron about the money, I just waited to see what he would do - and he didn't.  So that said to me Ron is still the irresponsible guy who thinks he doesn't have to pay people back.  It is a good thing I am mature. 

I will convey to Dad not to ever loan Ron, on his own, money. 

In the meantime Ron is being the prototypical verbal abuser trying to sling hate at me.  Ron is now saying Dad loaned "him" the money so Ron would "keep me away from them".  I wish I had my personal checks at the house when Dad offered to pay me, because we had to make the check out to Ron, so Ron thinks it was "his" money now and "his" loan even thought he hasn't paid a nickel on it. 

But I ask myself, does it matter if Ron thinks Dad loaned "him" the money and I am the one paying him back?  Does it feed the whole "other people will bail me out because I am a poor pitiful blind man in a wheelchair"?  Does it matter? 

Ron is just being hateful today... he really wants the world to revolve around him and thinks everyone wants to celebrate his birthday, even though he brings no joy and smells bad. 

And I will say it again, more than one occasion I had to get up VERY early on my birthday to go to work and get it done, and I did it.  I wasn't happy about it.  Ron has an 8:30 pickup so it's not even early... but I didn't turn it into a personal attack on Ron. 

And he doesn't realize, I might actually be willing to take a Uber if he paid for it, but he is being so ugly I am not going to "help" him in any way. 

He basically threw the credit card at me and said he canceled the trips, so I am on my own.  On the plus side plenty of time to do a good stock, now. 

I'm going to go take a shower. 

I'm not sorry I made the crack comment.