Showing posts from January, 2017


We had to go to work today to accomplish some accounting tasks. 

However, Ron decided that didn't mean I had to get up at 4 AM, either.  He set the pickup for 11 AM.  I finally slept all I wanted.  I still woke up tired, but at least I had gotten all the rest I wanted. 

I got up, shaved my legs (finally got them looking alright for capris again), and took my shower.  Then I did my God Time. 

We got ready for work, I thought.  I pushed Ron into the garage and opened the door.  He began freaking out, he didn't have his fanny pack.  I had to go back in the house (carefully avoiding the cats) to get it.  I closed the garage door and we headed off on our way. 

We went to work, it was DEAD.  It was so dead we did everything in half the time we had planned, cancelled our paratransit trip, and took a cab home. 

I took a nap.  I was pretty tired.  I hope my blood tests (tomorrow) will reveal an easy fix to my fatigue, like anemia.  I just eat more red meat, if that's the case.…

"Moving the heavy drinks"

Monday.  I didn't sleep well and I woke up with Biscuit lying on me, twisting my back.  I had to move him, he settled behind my knees as I lay on my side.  I cuddled with him for a while after the alarm went off. 

I took my shower and got dressed, did my God Time later.  I ate my protein bar, took my medication, and forgot my Claratin (I think, I didn't want to take another dose just in case).  I decided to store the Claratin (I take the kid's dose) on top of my medication so I don't have any drama.  I will have to pick it up, and take it, before I take my prescriptions. 

We went to work.  I was busy for a while stocking but took time to help Ron with the bottled vendor.  I am doing all the "moving of heavy drinks" zxxxxxxxx88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 - Bad Biscuit!  Walking on the keyboard!  He was so cute up on the desk I didn't want to evict him, until he started stomping on the keyboard. 

Work was pretty straightf…

Two hours

The party lasted pretty late and I tried to fall asleep.  However, the cats were wound up and kept running in and out of the cat door, making a lot of noise. 

"So that's why you're up at 3:15" Ron told me this morning.  Yeah.  If it isn't one child it's a furchild. 

I woke up at 7 AM.  It was my understanding the ride would come at 9 AM.  We were going to Carl's Junior to get a breakfast burger (well, I was).  I hit the snooze a couple times, Biscuit was in the bed with me, and I was very comfortable. 

I finally got up around 7:45 and took my shower.  I turned on the fan in the bathroom so I don't get any mold and I did my God Time.  I figured Ron would wake up in the middle of it and I could "pause" it for later. 

But Ron never woke up.  I finished and debated calling the transit company.  It was 9:08 and I needed to know when our ride would arrive. 

Ron woke up about then and told me the ride was coming at 9:56.  Not only that, it wou…

Eating Jesus

Well, I won't be going to bed early tonight.  #6 and #7 are having raucous children's parties.  Is it some kind of Mexican holiday?  I don't know. 

I wouldn't care if they did this during the day, but at night, when people are trying to sleep, it's a problem.  The party will probably last until 10-11 PM. 

I got up at 5 AM. 

I took a shower and tried to shave my legs.  I didn't have my glasses so I missed a spot and overall they still need some work.  If you're not following closely, I didn't shave my legs for a couple months because I was wearing long jeans, and I was depressed. 

I bought some 5-blade razors, the ultimate weapon.  I will use those next time, sitting on the edge of the tub, wearing my glasses.  That should get me back in fighting form. 

Sigh.  Who knew it was so hard? 

I did my God Time later, before I got on the computer.  I just couldn't face Job so early in the morning, on a weekend no less, when I'm already depressed. 

Delivery day

Yesterday I bought some cookies.  My adoptive Mom used to make these cookies in a saucepan on top of the stove.  You don't bake them.  You combine peanut butter, butter, sugar, cocoa powder, and oatmeal to combine ingredients.  I'm sorry I don't have a recipe, but try googling "no bake cookies" or "peanut butter no bakes", which is what Walmart calls them.  .They are very good and a happy memory from my childhood.  They have a hearty texture. 

Anyway, I bought 2 boxes (each box containing 12 cookies).  I ate some yesterday and went to bed early.  Then the cramps started.  I forgot the "hearty" oatmeal is a high fiber food and my system isn't used to that.  I had some wracking cramps for hours.  Not fun. 

I finally fell asleep but I didn't feel I slept well.  I got up at about 2:30 AM and got ready for work.  I didn't have time to do my God Time yet and I did it before I got on the computer. 

I watched a little "news" i…

We need black cats

I got up early because we were going to Walmart.  I didn't want to get up, I was tired and wanted to sleep in.  But I got up. 

As it turns out, it's a good thing we were going to Walmart.  Ron checked our electric bill on the phone and they said it was overdue.  I checked the mail and found a nasty letter saying our "check" (electronic payment Ron attempted to make on Jan 6) "declined" etc. etc., they were going to cut off our electricity if we didn't fix it. 


We had the money in the account, I don't know what went wrong.  It is an ongoing problem with them, they always decline our electronic payments and now this. 

First toilet problems (we need to get that addressed, it isn't filling properly after we flush) and now this.  Thank God we were going to Walmart, who had a payment center. 

Our driver got to talking about cooking.  She apparently uses a lot of turkey necks in her cooking.  She also cooks her greens in chicken broth with…

"Is this 4, or 5?"

My internet went down yesterday, that's why I couldn't post. 

Yesterday was pretty quiet.  Ron and I went to Walmart, he called a regular cab to come home because he didn't want to wait 1/2 hour on the paratransit (he cancelled the ride home with plenty of notice, though).  I had some frozen stuff, a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly (the ultimate meal of the depressed person), a case of Diet Mountain Dew bottles (love the stuff).  You get the idea. 

I also had time to make the deposit for my health insurance.  I got that mailed today.  I even had time to get a quick bite from McDonald's. 

We came home and I took my meds.  I got confused and doubled up on some of them, but I'm alive today so that's all that matters.  As a side note, I did wake with an unusual feeling of wellness and energy today! 

I took a nap, and a good thing too.  Ron and I woke up about the same time and he started drinking.  A while ago, we had a discussion about his drinking.  He…

I wish it had been a manic Monday.

Ugh.  So depressed today. 

I'm not sleeping well, and that stupid motion detector light keeps shining in my bedroom.  I think that is less responsible for me waking up and having less of a quality of sleep, because some nights I sleep great.  But it's annoying.  It's almost annoying enough to go talk to #6, but I don't want him to know it bothers me because he may adjust it to cause even more unpleasantness. 

I woke up feeling really exhausted.  I reset my alarm, giving myself an hour to get ready.  I went back to sleep. 

I got up and took my shower, but didn't do my God Time (yet).  I ate a protein bar and took my pills, washing it down with my customary bottle of Diet Mountain Dew. 

Many years ago, I used to have a Snickers bar and a regular Mountain Dew for breakfast.  I'm never hungry in the morning.  Before medication, I would just wait until I got hungry and then eat.  These days, I have to take my pills with food so I eat on a more regular basis. 


"This neighborhood has really gone downhill since I moved in"

Today was the kind of day I shouldn't have had. 

No, Ron was pretty tame for him, just his usual spewing negativity for minutes on end.  Ugh.  Toxic. 

Depressed as I am, I have to think Ron is worse. 

No, it was one of those "Days off and Ron didn't want to go anywhere so we just stayed home" days.  When we're depressed, I have to think that is not a good thing. 

I slept in until 9, and watched Law and Order reruns for a while as Ron raved about the dark and miserable nature of life.  It's impossible to shut him up because then he "points" it at me instead.  His tongue is a nasty weapon, let me tell you. 

That reminds me of a meme I saw.  It was a case of pastries, with tongs hanging outside the case. It said "Please do not use hands to pick up items.  Please use tongue"  That one always makes me grin. 

He sat on the floor, drinking vodka, "I hate this crap" and feeding treats to the cats.  What I find interesting is Ron…

The sinkhole

#19 apparently (they are Mexican) had an inauguration party last night.  I heard music and singing until pretty late, but it was apparent they were "trying" to be quiet so I didn't complain.  Then the weather system rolled in, severe rain that had me worried about flooding. 

I actually got out of bed at one point and had a look outside.  The street was wet, but not flooding.  I went back to bed. 

I woke up exhausted and depressed.  I didn't take a shower, do my God Time or do anything other than feed Biscuit, eat my protein bar, and take my meds.  Well, I got dressed. 

We went to the warehouse and got our supplies.  I went a little light on the snacks.  I figure things are quieter now and that's something we can get on paratransit, if need be.  I have 34 square feet of storage in my stockroom, so I have to make sure it's stuff I need to stock RIGHT NOW. 

I have some stuff in the stockroom already. 

Jack came and got us, we had a nice ride to work.  I tal…

"That's very rude"

Well, the boss never responded to Ron's drunk-dialing so I guess he just decided to ignore it. 

Yesterday we went into work.  Someone immediately complained the bottled vendor wasn't working.  The bottled vendor has a "robot" arm that moves across and down, grabbing the drink (if you put in enough money, ha ha), and then dispensing it.  It's pretty complicated.  It's had a lot of repairs recently, I think about $600 total since September. 

But it makes a lot of money, so we want to keep it working.  A soda costs us 49 cents, we sell it for $1.25.  That's a good deal for all of us. 

I got Ron in the building and told him the bad news.  He called our repairman, who said he'd like to trouble shoot over the phone.  He took me deep into multiple layers of programming, to diagnostic test menus and cleared error messages.  Settings I would never dream of altering. 

Finally, though, he suggested the real fix: turn it off, leave it for a little bit, and tu…


I woke up with a headache today.  I think it was partly the weather front and partly the Big Cups from yesterday. 

I got up, took my shower and did my God Time.  I watched a little TV and tried to go back to bed, I didn't sleep for a while.  I got a pretty good nap when I did fall asleep but I did have to wake up and take some more aspirin. 

I finally got up for good around 3 PM, my head still throbbing.  I ate some leftovers and took my medication, which helped. 

Ron got up and began drinking.  He tries to be "cute" when he's doing it, to prove it's "Harmless and fun".  He called the bank and verified some of our medical bills and cleared, then hung up. 

He started telling me about an old schoolmate.  "Jim" was also blind, and a friend of Ron's.  Ron heard that Jim later went deaf, too. 

The next thing I know, Ron is on the phone to his boss, asking the guy to find this old schoolmate (how?) and tell him Ron wanted to buy (an expensi…

A bellyful of Big Cups

I slept in today.  Since I was depressed, I slept in as late as I could, about 9 AM. 

If this is me ON the medication, I would hate to see me OFF it. 

I got up and took my medication, ate my protein bar, and did my shower and God Time.  I watched Supernatural reruns for a while and then went back to bed.  I slept for a couple hours, got up, and ate myself sick on Reese's Big Cups.  I never should have bought that case for Ron. 

I decided, since I was full, to take my medication.  I did that.  I also learned that, yes, I can take my pills with a bellyful of Big Cups. 

Ron has been "better" lately, not as verbally abusive, not as toxic in his attitudes, but still exhausting.  I ask him if his raving makes him feel any better.  He says no.  I ask him why he does it and he says I can't control him. 

I wish he really understood what his negativity does to my overall mood when I'm depressed, or even an average mood.  When I'm manic I don't care. 



Well, I slept pretty well last night.  I'll take a win when I can get it. 

I hit the snooze button a few times, blaming Torbie all cute and plump (hopefully not for long), in the bed.  I finally got up. 

I was depressed.  My hair looked OK.  I said screw it and didn't take a shower.  I got dressed and ready for work, taking my pills and all that.

We went to work.  We had another pickup, actually past work, in an absolutely terrible neighborhood.  It took us forever to find the house because none of the houses had numbers.  Nothing on the mailboxes, either. 

We finally stumbled across it.  Three cars parked in the driveway.  "If I had 3 drivers living with me" I told the driver "I would NOT be riding paratransit!"  She agreed, but said it's common to pickup someone at a house with several cars parked out front.  I guess they can't be bothered to help.  Ron said maybe the client is just a horrible person and no one wants to help them. 

We honked.…

Two days in one, again

Yesterday wiped me out.  I got up, did my morning routine, and headed off to the warehouse with Ron. 

We were meeting "Jack" (not his real name), who's helped us a few times.  This time, though, we had a lot of merchandise.  I wondered how we would fit it all in his old pickup. 

He showed up in his newer pickup, it had a good truck bed and a "lid" to cover the merchandise.  We had some overflow, but he put it in the backseat, along with Ron and his wheelchair. 

We got to work and unloaded.  I got everything in the building.  I stocked everything, including the coffee machine. 

Then we paid all the medical bills, about $2K.  On the one hand, ouch.  That's pretty painful.  That ran more than our property tax this year, or, looking at it another way, is equivalent to our regular homeowners insurance, PLUS flood insurance for a year's coverage. 

On the other hand, rehab alone cost $33K.  I needed Ron in rehab so I could run the business.  Ron needed re…

Dr Pepper day

#6 had a great time playing outside, and talking by my bedroom wall, until 8 PM.  I got my revenge, though, when our ride came at 3:45 AM, Ron and I came down our rather noisy metal wheelchair ramp, opened the garage door, left, and closed the garage door. 

If I can hear them, they can hear me.  I did try to be quiet but I was exhausted. 

Off to work at 3:45.  We had another pickup in Acres Homes (a notorious ghetto).  The guy had a nice dog outside in the yard, chained up, though.  It was a very sweet looking black lab mix.   I felt sorry for it. 

We went to work and got the water (we had bought 2 cases of water and brought them to work today) unloaded.  I left Ron with the water and then went inside for a cart.  I brought the cart out, loaded it, and got Ron inside. 

People at work are very nice, nicer than the general population, about opening the door for us/him.  It's lovely. 

We got to work.  We were running all day, especially when the repairman showed up.  Ron forgot …