Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Tuesday

We had to go to work today to accomplish some accounting tasks. 

However, Ron decided that didn't mean I had to get up at 4 AM, either.  He set the pickup for 11 AM.  I finally slept all I wanted.  I still woke up tired, but at least I had gotten all the rest I wanted. 

I got up, shaved my legs (finally got them looking alright for capris again), and took my shower.  Then I did my God Time. 

We got ready for work, I thought.  I pushed Ron into the garage and opened the door.  He began freaking out, he didn't have his fanny pack.  I had to go back in the house (carefully avoiding the cats) to get it.  I closed the garage door and we headed off on our way. 

We went to work, it was DEAD.  It was so dead we did everything in half the time we had planned, cancelled our paratransit trip, and took a cab home. 

I took a nap.  I was pretty tired.  I hope my blood tests (tomorrow) will reveal an easy fix to my fatigue, like anemia.  I just eat more red meat, if that's the case.  I had some strange "Dysfunctional family" dreams, like I did last night. 

Last night I had the "going on a trip" dream.  I have that one regularly, I'm trying to pack my bags or get to the airport, things like that.  Sometimes I actually get in the airplane and fly, sometimes I don't. 

I am very bored reading about other people's dreams so I'll end it there. 

I got up.  I got on the computer and watched a little TV. 

In a little while, Ron and I will go get a fast food dinner.  I may have enough time to check out a dollar store as well. 

We'll see. 

Monday, January 30, 2017

"Moving the heavy drinks"

Monday.  I didn't sleep well and I woke up with Biscuit lying on me, twisting my back.  I had to move him, he settled behind my knees as I lay on my side.  I cuddled with him for a while after the alarm went off. 

I took my shower and got dressed, did my God Time later.  I ate my protein bar, took my medication, and forgot my Claratin (I think, I didn't want to take another dose just in case).  I decided to store the Claratin (I take the kid's dose) on top of my medication so I don't have any drama.  I will have to pick it up, and take it, before I take my prescriptions. 

We went to work.  I was busy for a while stocking but took time to help Ron with the bottled vendor.  I am doing all the "moving of heavy drinks" zxxxxxxxx88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 - Bad Biscuit!  Walking on the keyboard!  He was so cute up on the desk I didn't want to evict him, until he started stomping on the keyboard. 

Work was pretty straightforward.  We didn't finish the end of month accounting things.  We will do that tomorrow. 

We went to the bank after work, Ron lugging a big jar of quarters.  I helped him carry it. 

We deposited the quarters and I got paid.  Ron got what was left, not much. 

We came home. 

Like I said, I was pretty tired, so I took a nap.  I need to wash my sheets but I don't have the energy, today.  I slept pretty well and dreamed, but I don't remember what about. 

I got up, brushed my hair, and did my God Time.  I had gotten up half an hour before I "had" to, I was a little annoyed I could have slept later, but it worked out. 

I got on the computer for a little while after I did my God Time, and saw a lot of political posts. 

The country is becoming more and more divided.  I blame the media.  They are pushing the liberal angle and distorting the news to fit their agenda.  I find it aggravating.  It is almost impossible to find a "clean" news station these days. 

I am experimenting with Channel 11 right now.  Apparently there were a lot of rumors our local animal control was going to round up, and euthanize, every stray in Houston, before the Superbowl.  Channel 11 did a piece disproving that and actually talking to animal control.  That impressed me, so I am watching them now.  So far, I like what I am seeing. 

I have been "unfollowing" a lot of people on Facebook who are just super angry.  In their defense, I have to say I saw a lot of very bitter and angry people on my Facebook, during the last administration, and a fair amount of them got blocked too. 

It's frustrating because a lot of the drivers want to talk politics and we are on opposite ends of the spectrum.  I am a conservative evangelical.  They are not.  It just gets everyone upset.  And I don't want the driver getting upset, while they're driving.  That's how you end up on the side of the road bleeding to death, the driver got upset and into an accident. 

We went to the local BBQ place, not as good, in my opinion, but OK.  Ron likes their food.  Me, not so much.  I generally just get a dessert item and a soda.  That will hold my pills. 

As we pulled up, a woman staggered outside and vomited all over the entry to the restaurant.  They had another entry door, but it had stairs, and I couldn't take the wheelchair through it. 

I had to steer around the mess, gagging loudly.  Ron: "Don't you get sick, too!" and got into the restaurant. 

We told a manager what had happened and he didn't believe me until I took him out and showed him.  Then he got one of his lackeys to clean up the mess.  Poor lackey! 

We went through the line.  You may not know this, at Houston BBQ restaurants they have a cafeteria style line, you go through the line and tell them what you want, they fix it and put it on your tray.  You get to the cashier and pay for your food, then pick a table. 

You don't sit down and order, like you would at a steakhouse. 

I took Ron to the table and then went back for the tray.  At my favorite BBQ restaurant, the manager takes the tray to the table for us.  Delicious food and impressive service. 

We sat.  I ate my carrot cake, it was pretty good but I would have liked a sweeter frosting.  Ron just drank a small soda and ate his food later. 

This morning, he was quite angry that "That drunken bastard ate my ribs".  After he had his 4 shots, he ate the ribs he had gotten for takeout on Saturday.  He seemed to have a good time and had a rational discussion about his preference for pork ribs vs beef ribs.  Turns out he was having a blackout. 

"I barely remember it". 

When we left, the entry was clean.  Good.  I still steered the wheelchair around it.  I don't know what caused the woman to vomit but it could be contagious.  I don't want the wheels going through that, and then all over my home, and I have bare feet. 

I'm sorry.  I'll stop. 

We had a good ride home but the driver wanted to talk politics.  We did, a little, but I changed the subject to cooking.  He told us his secret crawfish recipe, which involves a pound of salt, of all things.  Crawfish sound like a lot of work to prepare. 

I never ate southern-style greens or crawfish growing up.  I don't like them, I'll tell you that. 

I never ate a hush puppy growing up, unless we were on vacation, but I always liked those.  I like pretty much any fried fish, sweet potato fries, and grilled cheese. 

I never fix these things for myself.  Why?  Good question.  Probably because the cleanup would be too much work. 

At any rate, that's it for today. 

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Two hours

The party lasted pretty late and I tried to fall asleep.  However, the cats were wound up and kept running in and out of the cat door, making a lot of noise. 

"So that's why you're up at 3:15" Ron told me this morning.  Yeah.  If it isn't one child it's a furchild. 

I woke up at 7 AM.  It was my understanding the ride would come at 9 AM.  We were going to Carl's Junior to get a breakfast burger (well, I was).  I hit the snooze a couple times, Biscuit was in the bed with me, and I was very comfortable. 

I finally got up around 7:45 and took my shower.  I turned on the fan in the bathroom so I don't get any mold and I did my God Time.  I figured Ron would wake up in the middle of it and I could "pause" it for later. 

But Ron never woke up.  I finished and debated calling the transit company.  It was 9:08 and I needed to know when our ride would arrive. 

Ron woke up about then and told me the ride was coming at 9:56.  Not only that, it would be the same driver taking us home.  Very, very, seldom does the driver wait for us. 

I watched some Law and Order reruns and checked the mail.  Ron's wireless headphones arrived.  He breaks them on a regular basis.  Normally they come with a transmitter but the company started selling "just" the headphone as well.  They are made by Jellycomb and Ron has nothing but good things to say about them.  Ron got so excited playing with them we almost missed our ride! 

We had a straight (!) trip to the restaurant.  If we bought the driver something we couldn't talk about it, so I'll end it there.  I got my delicious breakfast burger: ketchup on a bun, a layer of tater tots, hamburger patty, egg patty, cheese, and bacon.  Good bacon, at that.  I'm still full 5 hours after eating it. 

The cashier misunderstood me and rang my order as a combo, so I got tater tots.  Ron and I split them.  Ron got into his trail mix (a spicy kind) last night and binged on nuts.  He wasn't hungry at all, and looked kind of bloated.  He was happy to bring me, though. 

Ron and I discussed "Tater" as a cat name and agreed it would be cute.  I just hope Tater doesn't show up at our door any time soon! 

After we finished we went out to the waiting vehicle and got reloaded.  We had another pickup, and we were early, so we had to wait about 20 minutes outside a church near our home.  The guy finally came out, Ron asked him about the sermon and the man shared it had been a Pakistani who converted to Christianity.  Those are always good stories. 

We went home.  I was a little worried about taking my medication at a distance, so to speak, from eating my food, but figured I was still full and would be fine.  I took everything, all at once (I can do that) and took a nap. 

I was pretty tired from last night, between the party and the cats I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep.  I slept 2 hours and that's apparently all I needed.  I was surprised. 

However, #2 is doing some repair work next door, and got noisier after I got up, so I might as well stay up.  I was also worried about being able to fall asleep tonight if I went back to sleep this afternoon. 

Torbie got in the bed right as I was leaving.  Now, Torbie will put anyone to sleep.  She has a soft and melodious snore that's very soothing, plus she's so plump, cute, and soft.  It's hard - SHE'S hard, to resist.  I got up anyway. 

Biscuit was innocently sleeping on the cat condo, not at all the furry demon running in and out the cat door.  I know it was him, though.  I wonder what had him so worked up? 

I plan to take it easy for the rest of the afternoon and go to bed early.  God willing, everyone will be quiet and I'll fall asleep around 7.  I have to get up around 4 tomorrow. 

Ron and I already planned out our day tomorrow, we have to do that in advance or we won't get any rides.  So, that's all done.  Hopefully I will formulate something fun to do. 

At any rate, I'm all caught up on the laundry (as much as I ever am), so I don't have to worry about Ron looking shabby tomorrow.  I know I get judged if he looks bad. 

When I'm depressed, I don't care. 

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Eating Jesus

Well, I won't be going to bed early tonight.  #6 and #7 are having raucous children's parties.  Is it some kind of Mexican holiday?  I don't know. 

I wouldn't care if they did this during the day, but at night, when people are trying to sleep, it's a problem.  The party will probably last until 10-11 PM. 

I got up at 5 AM. 

I took a shower and tried to shave my legs.  I didn't have my glasses so I missed a spot and overall they still need some work.  If you're not following closely, I didn't shave my legs for a couple months because I was wearing long jeans, and I was depressed. 

I bought some 5-blade razors, the ultimate weapon.  I will use those next time, sitting on the edge of the tub, wearing my glasses.  That should get me back in fighting form. 

Sigh.  Who knew it was so hard? 

I did my God Time later, before I got on the computer.  I just couldn't face Job so early in the morning, on a weekend no less, when I'm already depressed. 

But I only have a week or so left and then it's onto Exodus.  I have a chronological Bible.  I like it.  It's the same Bible, but arranged differently.  It makes a lot more sense to me, especially for a daily reading program.  It's just a little hard to read Job, Lamentations, or the wrath-to-come Old Testament prophets when I'm depressed. 

I plug away anyway.  I have read the Bible through at least a couple of times by now.  I don't keep track.  Just sitting down and reading it is the important thing.  If I don't understand something, I don't worry about it.  I figure God will give me the understanding when I need it. 

For instance, Jesus talked about people eating his flesh.  Ew.  That never happened in real life, it was a metaphor, but what a hideous one to our modern age.  I couldn't get it for ages. 

Then, one day, God reminded me, in the Old Testament they would offer their "sin offering".  They would basically have a big BBQ.  The priest would take some meat and the "sinner" would get the rest.  As they ate the meat, they were forgiven, but they apparently had to eat the meat to get the forgiveness. 

Suddenly the eating Jesus thing made more sense to me.  People back then "got" forgiveness by "eating" the sacrifice.  This is just my understanding, I don't want to have a big theological debate. 

Other times, it is obvious, don't be an idolater, etc.  I have a bad habit of making Ron my idol.  God generally allows him to "fall" in spectacular fashion when I do. 

We got our ride to the warehouse and I bought a cartload of stuff, as usual.  For once, I bought enough snack inventory to hold us for a while.  Ron bought 20 some cases of bottled drinks. 

"Jack" came and we loaded the truck.  The wheelchair fits nicely, next to Ron, in the backseat. 

We went to work, I got my "buggies" (Texas colloquialism for "cart") and dragged them outside, then we loaded them and brought them into the building. 

I left two of them, they can just go in the stockroom.  The third cart, I had to transfer some of the inventory to some of the other carts, and then I had to put a lot of drinks into the fridge. 

We checked the machines.  Sodas were dead.  Snacks were dead.  I literally just stocked peanuts in one machine.  I had to throw out some old sandwiches.  Ron wanted to take them home and eat them, but I reminded him they are expired and I don't want him getting sick.  Especially off something like a chicken salad or something.  Ugh. 

I was glad Ron had planned a short day. 

We left, after I put everything away in our area.  We went home. 

I wanted to take a nap, but the #6 kids were out there screaming.  Then the yard guy came to #6 (big clue they were having a party) and screamed at the kids in Spanish. 

There's something about Mexican yard guys, they love to rev the motor on their leafblowers.  Vroom vroom, vroom vroom, like a little kid playing with a toy car.  It is REALLY annoying. 

My yard guy does not do that. 

Between the revving and his shouting at the kids (I wonder if they told their dad, or were they doing something wrong and won't tell?), a nap was out of the question.  I gave up and got up 15 minutes before I had planned. 

I did my God Time, Torbie at my side, and checked the mail.  I walked far around the filled-in sinkhole and found a bank statement, and went home. 

On the porch, I found Ron's digital recorder.  He's been wanting a new one.  He wanted the old one, new.  He had a model xyz, say.  He wanted another xyz, not a newer one.  So I typed it into Amazon and found they still sell the older model.  He was able to just take it out of the box and start using it.  I didn't have to read him the manual. 

About manuals: Ron has purchased many devices over the years.  Every time, it came with a manual.  Every time, he wanted me to read him the manual.  I'm fine with that, he is blind. 

Every time, he said the same thing "I will remember it, just read it to me and I won't bother you again".  He would forget, and I would have to read it again.  I would suggest, with more and more vehemence, we record the manual so he could just consult the recording instead of "bothering" me.  Eventually, he would agree. 

This has happened for scanners, radios, ham radios, you name it.  But I don't even need to read it onto a recording because he already knows how to work it.  That's a win. 

Ron began playing with his new toy.  We got a callout that our ride was coming. 

Ron was concerned the ride would come later.  He had planned a trip to the BBQ place.  He didn't want to get shorted on his time there.  He can get a little nasty if they "mess with his trips".  The paratransit company can alter the trip by 20 minutes, plus or minus, your appointment time.  If they do that at both ends you are either up 40 minutes you didn't want, or short 40 minutes you needed to eat.  It's a crapshoot. 

Overall, Ron does a really good job as a trip planner.  Overall, our trips are good and we have a "just right" amount of time. 

He was worried, but it worked out OK.  We had about an hour. 

He ate beef ribs.  He said they were good, but he likes the pork ribs better.  I got a hamburger with a fried egg on top.  I don't know if that is just a southern thing, an American thing, or an international way of serving up a hamburger these days, but it is really good. 

I was stuffed.  I couldn't even finish the last bite.  I figure whatever scavenges the dumpster will appreciate that bite of hamburger. 

We had a good ride home with an African immigrant.  He was very nice.  He didn't speak Yoruba, I said "Thank you very much" to him and he didn't understand it.  He was quiet, but nice. 

We got home and found #7 having a party in their front yard.  They have a huge backyard, I don't know why they aren't having one in the back. 

Later on, the noise got pretty loud and Ron and I figured out #6 was having a party, too.  Either that or they sent all the kids out to play on the trampoline.  The kids may have been antsy with the party across the street. 

Interesting fact, the kids next door never go out on their own.  When I was that age, I was doing a lot of chores (these kids never do chores that I can see, they have the yard guy for that, I guess), and exploring the neighborhood on my bicycle.  None of the kids have bikes, and they only go places with their parents.  I understand why, there's a lot of evil in the world, but the oldest boy is at least 13 years old.  You think they'd let him off the leash.  He's the type that's so overprotected, he's going to get into big trouble with dorm life in college. 

They never play with the neighbor kids either, just cousins and family friends who are delivered to them during parties.  I wonder how the parents explain it to the kids "We are too good for them"  "They aren't our sort" or what?   I can see a racial divide, but what about the other Mexican kids? 

Not my business, you may be saying, and you're right.  But I have to deal with the noise from their parties and their lights in my bedroom, so I'm entitled to speculate.  Besides, it's not like I'm giving out information that could be used by a child molester. 

I am very careful, when talking about other people on the blog.  I don't put out anything I wouldn't want them to read, because they very well may do just that!  I don't give out job information on the neighbors.  I will say one of the #2 tenants used to drive a truck for a big snack foods distributor, and bring stuff home in the work truck.  I hope it was a gift because it sure looked like stealing.  But I can say that because they're long gone now. 

I don't give out schedule information on the neighbors, the most I will say is "They are/might be having a party tonight". 

And I don't give their names, not even the first ones. 

So I feel pretty clean in that. 

Speaking of clean, I have to do the litter boxes.  Sigh. 

I already did up my pills, what a tedious task.  I added some folic acid to the mix.  I found the bottle in Ron's room, and he's not taking them.  He doesn't like them, I think, because they come in a gelatin capsule.  He doesn't like gelatin.   He likes hard tablets. 

The other morning, I "caught" him taking his supplements, he was, at least, taking some of them.  Good.  The last thing I need is him getting sick. 

The cats are doing pretty well on the diet.  Biscuit still has a dirty butt but Torbie's looks great now.  She just needed to lose a little flab.  I don't know how much weight Biscuit'll have to lose to "straighten up" but I hope we get there quickly. 

I just want them to be healthy.  I know obesity is bad for a cat, just like it is for a human. 

I have been thinking about joining a local gym.  They are offering a $10 a month plan that looks pretty appealing, and they have a ton of cardio equipment.  I have a recumbent exercise bike, and a fitness step (the kind you go up and down while making arm movements).  I like treadmills and stairclimbers, when I had my other gym memberships those are the ones I always favored.  I never much cared for the exercise bikes or ellipticals. 

Ron bought the exercise bike, as it was the only cardio item he could use with his limitations.  He doesn't use it, though.  I wouldn't get rid of it, it is useful, but I have been thinking about this for a while. 

I'll pray on it and see if I am led.  Best of all, the gym is only one bus ride away.  That would be excellent. 

Ron used to go with me to the gym and sit in his wheelchair for an hour or two, waiting on me, so I'd have transportation, but that's a lot to ask.  I wouldn't do that now. 

If horrible weather were forecast, though, and he offered, I might take him up on it rarely. 

So, I've been mulling that.  My only concern with the gym is termination.  If I want to opt out, how easy is that to do?  I don't want them to keep taking payments from my account.  Sometimes you have to send registered letters and all, it's a lot of hassle, so I need to look into that too. 

I also need to get my blood tests done.  I definitely need a lithium level and a chemistry panel.  My eyes aren't yellow and I'm urinating fine, so I think my liver and kidneys are fine, but Doc has to check anyway.  My hands shake most of the time, and I have tinnitus (a side effect of the lithium), which generally indicate a nice and steady .6 (low end of OK scale).  I don't have any toxic symptoms (the tremor isn't too bad) but Doc has to check that too. 

I am sure you are all really sick of me bitching about my fatigue.  I am always bitching about my fatigue.  Maybe I am anemic.  So I'm thinking of getting a blood count done too just to see if I am anemic. 

Ron kind of freaked out when I told him I might be anemic, until I told him that just means I need to eat more red meat. 

So, if I have the money (I need to count what I have "in my pocket"), I plan to go to the blood test lab next week and get the 3 tests run.  It will probably cost me around $200 or less to get them done.  Not bad. 

The lab takes cash so I don't have to worry about my debit card number being stolen AGAIN like it was at the OTHER lab.  They are really good at giving me the stick, too.  I always tell them they have to tie it off, hard, and slap it a few times to make it "present".  Once they do that they can see it and do the stick.  It's a good vein, I gave almost 3 gallons of blood, you just have to know the trick. 

That's it for tonight. 

Tomorrow we have plans to go to Carl's Junior, early, and get a breakfast burger, yet another burger with egg on top.  The egg, in all cases, is always fully cooked before the cook deposits the egg on the (fully cooked) hamburger patty. It's really good. 


Friday, January 27, 2017

Delivery day

Yesterday I bought some cookies.  My adoptive Mom used to make these cookies in a saucepan on top of the stove.  You don't bake them.  You combine peanut butter, butter, sugar, cocoa powder, and oatmeal to combine ingredients.  I'm sorry I don't have a recipe, but try googling "no bake cookies" or "peanut butter no bakes", which is what Walmart calls them.  .They are very good and a happy memory from my childhood.  They have a hearty texture. 

Anyway, I bought 2 boxes (each box containing 12 cookies).  I ate some yesterday and went to bed early.  Then the cramps started.  I forgot the "hearty" oatmeal is a high fiber food and my system isn't used to that.  I had some wracking cramps for hours.  Not fun. 

I finally fell asleep but I didn't feel I slept well.  I got up at about 2:30 AM and got ready for work.  I didn't have time to do my God Time yet and I did it before I got on the computer. 

I watched a little "news" if you can call it that.  It seems like all news these days has a strong liberal bent.  I get sick of watching "propaganda".  If I wanted to watch that, I'd go to Youtube.  I want facts-based, unbiased coverage, but I haven't seen that in a long time. 

My favorite was the reporter who said that being gay is like being born with a disability.  I found that very offensive, as a person with a disability.  She was not gay anyway, so how would she know?  She wasn't disabled, either.  That was the end of channel 26.  Sometimes they put it on at work and it's just as bad, so I feel my ongoing boycott is justified.  Are they going to miss me?  No, but I feel better for it. 

Our first driver was pretty rude.  He overshot the driveway, then spent 5 minutes backing up.  The vans have the loud, beeping, "backup" indicator that is very obnoxious.  Then he had his dispatch radio turned up to maximum value.  It was overpowering, and very, very, loud.  I'm certain it woke up every neighbor on my block. 

We politely asked him to turn it down and he refused, he said "They never told me nothing about the radio and I need to hear them if they call me".  Ron called and talked to a supervisor.  They began calling for him on the radio.  He ignored it, eventually telling them "I was driving and I wanted to be safe" - then continued to have a long discussion with them, talking on the radio, while driving.  He did turn it down when they "made" him. 

Ron was angry and insulted the guy, but in a way the guy didn't understand he had been insulted. 

We went into work.  Finally, sales were better.  I had some stocking to do.  Which I did. 

I helped Ron move all the cases of bottled drinks.  I don't think his back will ever be up for that again.  I don't mind.  Praise God my back is still OK. 

Ron did canned sodas pretty much on his own.  Our delivery guy came and brought everything.  One case of Big Red was leaking so we sent it back.  The delivery man put away all the drinks for me, which was awesome. 

A while back, I brought home a 12 pack of soda from work (Ron had bought it just for me).  The cats went nuts smelling it and rubbing against it.  I even caught Biscuit licking it.  The deliveryman didn't know anything about that but did mention he had a cat and a dog.  Maybe that was it. 

We finished out our day after doing the inventory.  We came home with a nice driver, but he uses this horrible air freshener that, to quote Ron "Smells like a whorehouse".  Ron even told the driver that and he agreed, but the driver has said that he likes things "Fresh". 

Well, it's his vehicle, but whew! 

I was glad I didn't have a headache. 

We got home and I immediately took my medication, then a nap.  My meds don't make me go to sleep but they encourage it if I lie down.  If I won the lotto, I would probably spend a lot of time sleeping. 

I got up and did my God Time, then finished the laundry.  I watched a little TV and talked to Ron when he woke up. 

I plan to go to bed early, I got up very early this morning, and I also need to get up "pretty" early (about 5, probably) tomorrow. 

I hope you have a good weekend. 



Thursday, January 26, 2017

We need black cats

I got up early because we were going to Walmart.  I didn't want to get up, I was tired and wanted to sleep in.  But I got up. 

As it turns out, it's a good thing we were going to Walmart.  Ron checked our electric bill on the phone and they said it was overdue.  I checked the mail and found a nasty letter saying our "check" (electronic payment Ron attempted to make on Jan 6) "declined" etc. etc., they were going to cut off our electricity if we didn't fix it. 

Great. 

We had the money in the account, I don't know what went wrong.  It is an ongoing problem with them, they always decline our electronic payments and now this. 

First toilet problems (we need to get that addressed, it isn't filling properly after we flush) and now this.  Thank God we were going to Walmart, who had a payment center. 

Our driver got to talking about cooking.  She apparently uses a lot of turkey necks in her cooking.  She also cooks her greens in chicken broth with a ham hock.  I'm not a fan of southern style greens, I prefer to braise them in a wok. 

She dropped us and I took Ron inside to the payment center.  We got the bill paid.  I left Ron near the door, and continued my shopping. 

While I was shopping, he talked to a guy at the electric company who reversed the $25 non sufficient funds charge, because we had the money, and also cut our rate in half.  Not bad. 

I just hope the credit posts to our account.  I'll feel a lot better when Ron tells me he heard it. 

I did my shopping and found myself in the clothes department.  I need some new bras, but I didn't think I had time (ha ha, more on that in a minute).  I looked in the men's tshirt department.  I found some cute, all (or mostly so) cotton t-shirts in my size. 

A man's tshirt has a longer hem because no one wants to see it raise up and show a hairy belly.  Women's tshirts have a much shorter "oops, I showed you my tummy!" (I hate that word, tummy) hemline.  Men's also have higher necklines.  Ron gets to enjoy my "fruits".  Just Ron.  I don't need validation from strange men, or men I know, panting down my cleavage.  If I wanted to I could put on a pretty good show but I just think that's inappropriate. 

So, I found 3 shirts and I got them.  They were about $5.50 each.  One was cheaper and says it is "performance fabric to wick away moisture" - might be good for Truck Day. 

I checked out and found Ron, who told me his good news.  He called Lou, who was helping an old lady this morning.  He called Jose, who said he could get there at 9:45.  By 10:05 Jose admitted he was still "25 minutes out" and implied we'd be better off with another driver. 

So we called Yellow cab.  I was worried, the last time I tried to get a ride home with Yellow Cab, from a Walmart, I ended up waiting 2 and a half hours before I gave up and called Chuck.  Part of my problem may have stemmed from the fact I did this on a Sunday. 

So, Ron called, me and my wife, and a small wheelchair, she will fold it and put it in the trunk.  We got a ride in about 5 minutes, I was shocked.  He asked us about the business so he must have had us before. 

He took us to our favorite taqueria (I made sure I only bought a few things, that could travel with us), gave us his number (we covet numbers - drivers who work in our area and willing to work with us), and left. 

Breakfast stared up at us from our plates just a couple minutes later.  I thought it was interesting the taqueria  had a sign saying "No animals".  I guess they have had a problem with people bringing in "pocket dogs" - the kind that fit in a purse.  Or maybe the health department made them do it. 

At any rate we ate pretty fast and called Michael (the guy who dropped us).  Ron went to voicemail.  We waited a couple minutes.  Nope.  Ron called Yellow again.  I wondered how long it would take, but again, a fast response from a nice driver. 

Excellent.  He was a nice guy and helped with the wheelchair.  He also made sure Ron got in the cab OK.  Ron looks a little wobbly getting in a vehicle, but he's only fallen once, and that was in front of my Dad. 

Ron has instructed me, if he ever falls, not to try to help him.  I'm to leave him alone and let him find his own way up again.  I'll do that. 

I just hope he won't be bleeding or anything.  But he's very careful so I won't worry overmuch.  I have a million things I can worry about and I'm trying to cut the list. 

We got home OK, Ron got in the wheelchair, we got another number, and I took my pills.  I took my nap shortly afterward. 

We have to get up at 2 AM tomorrow, I may not do a blog if I'm wiped out. 

I slept for a couple hours and actually woke up with some energy for a change.  I started sorting the clothes.  I took all the labels off my new stuff and put them in the wash, along with my clothes.  Then I got Ron's clothes. 

I start by lint-brushing all the cat hair off the clothes, because he wears black they really show up.  We need black cats.  Then I pretreat any stains (there are always stains) with shout gel, and then let the stain remover work for a good 15 minutes or so.  I arrange everything in the washer.  Since I do mixed loads of light and dark, I use a shout color catcher in there too.  I put it in a lingerie bag. 

I tried to get Ron out of his current clothes, which are pretty bad, but he said no, he was comfortable and wanted to sleep in them.  OK.  I guess he's sleeping in them.  My washer was pretty full anyway. 

I put 2 Tide PODS in the drum and hit the button.  I set it for "heavy" due to the stains on Ron's clothes.  It's working away right now. 

I have the nagging feeling I forgot to check my jeans pockets.  I know I did, I just have that feeling.  I know I did because I took everything out and put them in the jeans I am wearing. 

Now I need to buy Ron a new digital recorder and some headphones from Amazon.  He gave me some money for that. 

I still have some energy so I'll do that and then maybe finish shaving my legs - warm weather is coming and I want to be prepared. 

I have to go to bed at 6 so here's to hoping everything is quiet and I can sleep.  Worst case, I don't sleep until 8-9, I will get up at 2 and then take a nap when I get home.  I've done that before. 

We got an email from Ron's boss that he is auditing our last 2 reports.  He needs to get us the forms and then I can fill them out.  We have to do a spreadsheet on the money the machines made, allocate our expenses, stuff like that.  It's not hard but it's tedious and my handwriting is variable these days.  Some days it is very shaky (when I am not consuming caffeine) and other days it is nice and tidy.  It just depends on the moon, I guess. 

That's it for now.  My washer is almost done so I have to put everything in the dryer. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

"Is this 4, or 5?"

My internet went down yesterday, that's why I couldn't post. 

Yesterday was pretty quiet.  Ron and I went to Walmart, he called a regular cab to come home because he didn't want to wait 1/2 hour on the paratransit (he cancelled the ride home with plenty of notice, though).  I had some frozen stuff, a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly (the ultimate meal of the depressed person), a case of Diet Mountain Dew bottles (love the stuff).  You get the idea. 

I also had time to make the deposit for my health insurance.  I got that mailed today.  I even had time to get a quick bite from McDonald's. 

We came home and I took my meds.  I got confused and doubled up on some of them, but I'm alive today so that's all that matters.  As a side note, I did wake with an unusual feeling of wellness and energy today! 

I took a nap, and a good thing too.  Ron and I woke up about the same time and he started drinking.  A while ago, we had a discussion about his drinking.  He said 3 shots is "good".  "Four really helps [him] sleep" and "5 is a blackout". 

He held a brimming shot glass in his hand.  "I don't know if this is #4, or number 5."  I suggested he abstain, reminding him of the 5-leads-to-a-blackout comment.  He scoffed at me and downed it.  "I won't make noise" he promised. 

Since the internet, and the cable, was down, I went to bed early.  Ron started making noise right away. 

He was upset that toilet was "flushing funny", it flushes but it makes more noise doing it, than it used to.  I'm not overly worried because all the waste is being removed.  He screamed at me, wanting me to pour lye down the bathroom drain, our own little "drain line cleanout".  I told him I didn't have any lye. 

After he calmed down, I tried to go to sleep.  It's not just the light, I woke up a couple times on my own recently, without any noise. 

I should add, #6 is not the nicest guy.  He thinks he's a great guy, but one instance, he was blocking our driveway with a truck.  We asked him to move, he said "No, the guy will be gone in 15 minutes".  In the meantime we had a guy coming over who needed to get into the driveway.  Eventually our guy showed up and his guy had to move.  So I don't see him accommodating any requests of he won't even move a car on our property (this has happened twice). 

Ron, in the meanwhile, was making lots of noise, running water in the sink for an extended period of time, I think he was washing his garbage again.  He likes to wash all the residue off the garbage before he throws it in the trash can.  That's the only thing I can figure.  I see it as trash and throw it away "dirty".  We're not recycling these things. 

Which brings up a question, we're supposed to save water, right?   So what's the point of wasting all this water washing the recycles?  Wouldn't it be better to throw them away and save all that water? 

Ron kept muttering, crashing, and it sounded like he threw up.  If he didn't I haven't found it yet.  Yet.  This went on for hours on end (and one reason I don't worry so much about the light, even if my room had been pitch black I would have heard all this. 

I was pretty annoyed when I finally got up.  I told Ron and we had an argument.  As far as he was concerned, it didn't happen because I didn't make a video.  A blackout apparently only "counts" if I make a video or he wreaks enough destruction on his own. 

I don't see why he would want to have 5 shots, knowing it's going to cause a blackout.  I don't get that at all.  But I don't have a drinking problem. 

God willing, I never will have a drinking problem. 

We went to work.  Things were dead.  I hardly had to stock anything.  We did have a couple of issues, Snack 2 was out of nickels, and Soda 2 had eaten a dollar bill, and the validator wasn't working.  I fixed both those problems.  Everything else looked OK. 

We finished up pretty quick and went home.  I was exhausted.  I checked my meds, realized I screwed up (first time in over 10 years I did something like that), and took the correct afternoon dose. 

Then I took a nap.  At one point, Biscuit got in bed with me and laid in my arms for a while.  What a sweet boy.  I'm so glad I brought him home.  Torbie slept with me, too.  What a great nap. 

I woke up, at one point, with a headache.  I took some aspirin and went back to sleep.  I got up about an hour later, did my God Time, etc.  I watched a little TV and came here to tell you about my day. 

I hope you're having a good one. 

Monday, January 23, 2017

I wish it had been a manic Monday.

Ugh.  So depressed today. 

I'm not sleeping well, and that stupid motion detector light keeps shining in my bedroom.  I think that is less responsible for me waking up and having less of a quality of sleep, because some nights I sleep great.  But it's annoying.  It's almost annoying enough to go talk to #6, but I don't want him to know it bothers me because he may adjust it to cause even more unpleasantness. 

I woke up feeling really exhausted.  I reset my alarm, giving myself an hour to get ready.  I went back to sleep. 

I got up and took my shower, but didn't do my God Time (yet).  I ate a protein bar and took my pills, washing it down with my customary bottle of Diet Mountain Dew. 

Many years ago, I used to have a Snickers bar and a regular Mountain Dew for breakfast.  I'm never hungry in the morning.  Before medication, I would just wait until I got hungry and then eat.  These days, I have to take my pills with food so I eat on a more regular basis. 

We went to work. 

Things were really slow.  I hardly had to stock snacks at all.  I helped Ron with his work, he overdid it lifting a case of water last week and his back is bothering him. I may need to stock the water from now on, the case weighs 44 pounds.  Up to this point, Ron has been adamant he can do it. 

Clearly, he can't.  I'll have to pick my battles on that one. 

We got everything stocked and went outside.  The driver was kind of odd.  He parked in an illogical place and kept telling me Ron couldn't walk because he was in a wheelchair.  Then Ron stood up and opened the door to the vehicle. 

I don't think, as yet, the driver has encountered a lot of disabled people. 

He missed our exit and went past the subdivision, then came back.  I don't know why, he had his GPS on and clearly understood the fastest way to get home.  I was happy to get out of his vehicle.

I saw construction equipment digging away outside at the corner, where we had the sinkhole.  A guy at work told me the sinkhole probably happened from a ruptured or leaking pipe. 

I'm just glad it's being dealt with, but I will be afraid to walk on the sidewalk now, knowing what could be underneath my feet!  I always assume it's lots of dirt, but apparently not all the time. 

Tomorrow I will tell you about one of my stranger childhood phobias. 

I'd had a mild headache most of the day, it wasn't quite bad enough to take my aspirin but it was bad enough.  When we got home I took some aspirin and laid down. 

It didn't get better.  I felt like the pain was oozing out of the pores in my forehead. 

I got up later and talked to Ron for a little bit (for once he was positive, but he was drinking), and watched a little TV. 

I did my God Time (you knew I was getting to that) and got online. 

We have tomorrow off, and we can take it.  Things were really slow at work. 

The cats are good.  Biscuit and Baby Girl escaped into the garage when I was getting them more litter.  I had a hard time getting them out, but they're inside now. 

Ron made a trip for me to go to Walmart tomorrow so I can restock on various things.  Good.  I need to. 

Sunday, January 22, 2017

"This neighborhood has really gone downhill since I moved in"

Today was the kind of day I shouldn't have had. 

No, Ron was pretty tame for him, just his usual spewing negativity for minutes on end.  Ugh.  Toxic. 

Depressed as I am, I have to think Ron is worse. 

No, it was one of those "Days off and Ron didn't want to go anywhere so we just stayed home" days.  When we're depressed, I have to think that is not a good thing. 

I slept in until 9, and watched Law and Order reruns for a while as Ron raved about the dark and miserable nature of life.  It's impossible to shut him up because then he "points" it at me instead.  His tongue is a nasty weapon, let me tell you. 

That reminds me of a meme I saw.  It was a case of pastries, with tongs hanging outside the case. It said "Please do not use hands to pick up items.  Please use tongue"  That one always makes me grin. 

He sat on the floor, drinking vodka, "I hate this crap" and feeding treats to the cats.  What I find interesting is Ron's dread terror of me following in his footsteps. 

Years ago I tried a premade liquid protein "shot".  It was ghastly.  I spit it out and grabbed the first thing at hand, Ron's open bottle of vodka.  He started screaming at me not to drink, etc. I took a swig, swished it around in my mouth, and spit it out.  I wasn't going to drink it, I just wanted to kill the taste, but Ron was in an absolute panic.  He says he doesn't want to get in trouble with my family, but I think he's just afraid I will become an alcoholic. 

That's why I don't drink.  Why take a chance?  Not to mention alcohol interacts with my Haldol.  I've seen what alcohol did to me - maimed me for life.  That's enough right there.  I've seen what alcohol did to my husband.  I've seen what alcohol has done to others. 

I don't see any benefit to alcohol. 

NOT worth it.  Ever. 

I took a shower.  Since I've been wearing long jeans, I haven't shaved my legs in a while.  I felt a little bad about traumatizing the utility worker with my hairy legs last night (I was in my nightgown).  I gave an attempt at shaving my legs and got about half the hair off.  I thought it was interesting that Ron suggested Nair.  Ron isn't really "hairy" except for his beard, but he still knew about it.  I will keep razor shaving my legs until they go back to normal.  I didn't think it would be this hard to get them back. 

I was also curious to see what they looked like.  They have coarse, black, prickly, hair.  The hair on my arms is soft and fine.  I figured it would eventually switch over but I guess not. 

I got out of the shower (Ron was still complaining about life, and God) and did my God Time.  I didn't tell Ron what I was doing, it wasn't his business, but he still went on about how I love God so much and Ron "hates" Him.  Exhausting. 

We had a windstorm today too, which kept things chilly and miserable.  I think I heard the chair fly off the front porch earlier. 

After I did my God Time I decided to take a nap.  Ron was asleep and I might as well get some rest, too.  I slept pretty well but I had a nightmare about bees that woke me up. 

I got online and posted on my message boards, and checked Facebook.  A couple of people are sick, I hard about a couple planned dinners, and someone's relative's house is about to burn down in a wildfire. 

I heard #2 outside working, still fixing it up.  The previous tenants must have made a real mess. 

It's ironic, one day we were outside in our front yards, he looked around, and said "This neighborhood has really gone downhill since I moved in".  I was dying to agree with him - because HE had brought it down. 

Ron's up, and plans to start drinking again.  I will order some Chinese food, I think, take my meds, and go to bed as early as I can.  Ron's still complaining. 

He's the most ungrateful person I know. 

Saturday, January 21, 2017

The sinkhole

#19 apparently (they are Mexican) had an inauguration party last night.  I heard music and singing until pretty late, but it was apparent they were "trying" to be quiet so I didn't complain.  Then the weather system rolled in, severe rain that had me worried about flooding. 

I actually got out of bed at one point and had a look outside.  The street was wet, but not flooding.  I went back to bed. 

I woke up exhausted and depressed.  I didn't take a shower, do my God Time or do anything other than feed Biscuit, eat my protein bar, and take my meds.  Well, I got dressed. 

We went to the warehouse and got our supplies.  I went a little light on the snacks.  I figure things are quieter now and that's something we can get on paratransit, if need be.  I have 34 square feet of storage in my stockroom, so I have to make sure it's stuff I need to stock RIGHT NOW. 

I have some stuff in the stockroom already. 

Jack came and got us, we had a nice ride to work.  I talked to him about the pig.  The other day, on the way home in a cab, I saw a large pig standing on the sidewalk, by the mailbox. 

I wasn't sure if I was having an "episode" or what.  So I asked the driver if he saw a pig.  He said yes, he did, and wasn't it big? 

I gazed at the large black pig, trotting after his (?) master.  I heard rumors of a house with a pig back on Halloween but I didn't believe it.  I certainly wouldn't have guessed it was that large. 

I'm sure pigs make great pets but I have a deep and abiding love of pork products.  It just goes to show, you never know what's going on behind that closed door. 

I'm sure someone in my subdivision is making love right now, someone else is having a fight, and someone else is changing a diaper. 

We got to work, unloaded, got everything in the building.  I helped Ron, mainly, because snacks really didn't need much.  I stocked a few things but not much. 

We came home.  As we passed the corner, I saw sidewalk sections sticking up in the air.  I got off the vehicle and walked back to look at the mess. 

3 sections of sidewalk caved into a sinkhole, apparently caused by last night's rain.  There's a great view in the hole: tree roots, rushing water, and broken sidewalk sections. 

I was so glad I hadn't walked on that section of sidewalk.  The last time I checked the mail I noticed a large puddle, where it didn't used to collect.  I walked around it (the sinkhole growing underneath) and on the grass instead.  It's a good thing.  That could have caved in with me right in the middle of it. 

Now I can't check the mail for the next couple days, until they get all that fixed.  It's a huge safety issue.  Right now they just have it roped off with caution tape, a perimeter drawn with spray-paint a few feet out from the sinkhole, with NO NO NO written all around it. 

Yeah, that'll work.  Especially with little kids. 

We called it in of course, and they have a guy out there right now, on a weekend night.  It's over by #2 so we called her, but she already knew.  She told us she has a nice family of 3, no dog (praise God), moving in when they get the house ready.  It's good to be on good terms with her. 

We went in the house.  I felt pretty grubby and decided to take a shower when I got up from my nap. 

I had about 3 hours to nap if I wanted to do that.  I laid down. 

#6 has several kids, a teenage boy, a preteen girl, 3 children, and a toddler.  The toddler was in fine form today, having a screaming tantrum right outside my bedroom wall.  So much for my nap.  I went back to sleep, she acted up again. 

I don't envy parents.  That's why I never wanted kids.  Too much work. 

I finally got up and took my shower.  I got some new soap a while back, Zest Shea and Cocoa butter.  Sounds nice, huh?  It feels nice, does the job of getting me clean without drying my hands out like that rose soap did.  However, the fragrance is ghastly.  I hate it.  They should have gone with a cocoa butter, vanilla, or buttercream fragrance, because the existing one is nasty, like rotting flowers with some tub cleaner thrown in. 

I'll have to get something else, maybe some Dove or Dial, I like the gold fragrance. 

A utility guy just went in my backyard to look at the telephone box.  At least, I assume he is.  He was dressed like one, carrying utility guy equipment.  He is working away at the back of the house. 

Apparently the sinkhole cave in took out some utility lines. 

We don't have At&T anyway.  Their tech support made me cry so I went to cable internet. 

I got up and took my shower, happy the water was still working, especially considering the water rushing at the bottom of the sinkhole.  I got dressed, Ron got dressed, and we went out to our ride. 

He was late, and Ron was very upset to hear we had another pickup.  Even more upset when the guy didn't even come out.  We had a circus trying to get the guy's trip cancelled so we could get on to our destination. 

We finally shook them loose, but we would only have 20 minutes to eat.  That's no good.  It would take half that amount of time to cook the food.  The driver got that fixed. 

Ron had a tantrum all the way to the destination, but was happy to find out we still made it there early.  I kept things light by talking to the driver about the cats.  He was actually interested. 

We ate and had plenty of time to do so. 

He picked us up and took us home, and I saw a utility truck out in front of #2.  Glad to see they are taking this "serious".  A little while ago, another utility worker asked for permission to access my backyard.  So some serious damage, it looks like. 

Both utility workers looked completely stressed. 

Ron says we might get some more rain tonight, which will spell a real disaster for the sinkhole. 

This is totally selfish, but thank  God that mess isn't in my yard! 

Biscuit was absolutely terrified by the utility worker.  Poor baby doesn't trust anyone but me and Ron.  I hope we get raptured, or he dies before I do.  He would have a terrible time in a new home, especially one with small kids. 

Torbie slept with me last night, hogging the center of the bed.  She knows I won't move her. 

Here's to hoping I get a better night's sleep tonight. 

Friday, January 20, 2017

"That's very rude"

Well, the boss never responded to Ron's drunk-dialing so I guess he just decided to ignore it. 

Yesterday we went into work.  Someone immediately complained the bottled vendor wasn't working.  The bottled vendor has a "robot" arm that moves across and down, grabbing the drink (if you put in enough money, ha ha), and then dispensing it.  It's pretty complicated.  It's had a lot of repairs recently, I think about $600 total since September. 

But it makes a lot of money, so we want to keep it working.  A soda costs us 49 cents, we sell it for $1.25.  That's a good deal for all of us. 

I got Ron in the building and told him the bad news.  He called our repairman, who said he'd like to trouble shoot over the phone.  He took me deep into multiple layers of programming, to diagnostic test menus and cleared error messages.  Settings I would never dream of altering. 

Finally, though, he suggested the real fix: turn it off, leave it for a little bit, and turn it on again.  It worked perfectly after that.  I'll have to try that next time.  It sure won't hurt anything, and is a lot less scary than the programming modes. 

After that, we got everything stocked and went home.  I took a nap - and I can't remember what I did last night.  I think I just ate something at home and went to bed.  I don't remember. 

Today, though, was hard to forget.  First trip we went to Carl's Junior for breakfast.  I told Ron, if I had to work on my day off, I wanted a Breakfast Burger from Carl's.  It has a bun, ketchup, a layer of tater tots, a meat patty, an egg patty, and a layer of cheese.  It's really good and filling.  Oh, and bacon.  I almost forgot the bacon. 

When we came out to our ride the driver told me Ron would have to ride in the back.  OK.  We're alright with that.  It's better than being crowded in the backseat, 3 across. 

The young man next to me was, ah, mentally limited.  The driver was playing rap music and he was flailing his arms and bouncing in his seat, rapping along with the music.  It was pretty unforgettable, I'm just glad he didn't hit me in the face, waving his hands like that. 

We dropped them (there was another client as well) off at their workshop and headed off to Carl's.  We would be there for an hour. 

Yesterday Ron forgot to bring the sales tax data to work, so we were unable to complete and mail the form.  He was really beating himself up about it. 

Is that related to his drinking?  Probably.  One day, says my Dad, he will hit rock bottom and realize he has a problem.  I remind myself of that, and Dad worked with addicts (as a volunteer) for over 30 years. 

So, we had to work on our day off, which meant he had to be sober for most of it.  We filled out the sales tax form.  I marveled at my neat, precise, handwriting.  It looks so much better before I take my medication.  My typing is a lot better, too. 

We got that done and sealed up.  Then I took the sodas out of "jail" (I didn't want large amounts of "sodawater" anywhere near the only copy of our sales tax form).  My burger arrived, and I ate it.  It was delicious. 

I would have gotten one to eat for dinner but I didn't think it would refrigerate very well. 

It'll just be my special breakfast treat, now and then. 

Ron apparently drunk-ate (is that a thing?) half a burrito last night, so he was pretty full still.  He was really upset when he got home today and found it gone. 

Very rarely I will remind Ron that alcohol is not his friend.  I didn't, today, but I thought it when he complained about eating the burrito with no memory of the act. 

In the meantime, we still had to get to work.  Our ride pulled up, a large van (seats about a dozen).  Two women were already seated on the van.  I recognized them. 

It's a mother and daughter pair.  The daughter has some intellectual limitation, and the mother accompanies her everywhere.  Years ago, the paratransit monthly passes had a 3 digit code.  If you knew the general numerical range, "you" could fake a pass number and ride for free. 

I didn't know the old lady was doing it until, one month, Ron got 388 for his pass number.  She got on one day and said her number was 388.  I told her I'd like to see her pass, because my husband had the same number.  I took out his pass and showed everyone it was a legitimate pass, then I asked to see hers.  She mumbled something about leaving it at home. 

After that, if I knew we were picking her up, I would warn the driver about the phony pass and suggest he ask to see it.  When they did that, she produced a 1-ride ticket instead, still mumbling she had left the pass at home. 

A note here: if the driver doesn't collect the proper fare they are fined. 

Ron finally called the company about this, and they instituted a policy of viewing ALL passes from that point onward.  They even look at Ron's yearly pass, even though they've seen it before, and they check the expiration date too (that's another story). 

So, I didn't like her much. 

That was cemented today when I got on the vehicle.  We recognized each other. 

"Boy, you've gained some weight, haven't you?" 
"That's very rude" I replied - it's the first thing I thought. "Does it make you feel better about your own life?" 

I didn't speak to her for the rest of the trip, happily a short one.  When they left, the daughter made a point of telling me to have a nice day, in a very apologetic tone.  I told her I hoped she had one, too, and I meant it. 

What a horrible old lady. 

After that, we picked up another client, couldn't have been nicer, a very lonely old lady who just talked and talked, wanted to hear about the cats (now that's lonely) and Ron's back surgery.  We had fun talking. 

I like nearly all the other passengers on the service.  It's just the rare client, or driver, making odd comments about my weight. 

Now I was taught you don't talk about someone's weight, unless they have clearly lost some.  That's just my upbringing.  I guess other people think it is appropriate to discuss weight gain. 

It's like I told a lady at work, I have to take crazy pills.  They make me fat.  I'm evil when I'm unmedicated (I certainly can be).  I can be fat and happy, or skinny and evil.  Trust me, you WANT me fat!  And we all had a good laugh. 

Have I committed to a diet and fitness plan?  No.  Not with this depression, I think I do well to keep my weight level, which I have, for years now. 

Most importantly, I wear clothes that fit so I'm not erupting out of my jeans.  When Mom and Dad came to visit, they both made a point of complimenting my (Walmart) jeans.  I think what they really liked was the fit. 

It's very easy to say "this will zip, so it fits" and it doesn't.  I would rather wear something a little loose (I can pull off my jeans without unzipping them), than something a little tight, showing my underwear lines and leaving red marks on my waist. 

We got to work, they were supposed to give us 10 minutes but left us for an hour.  I mailed the sales tax, gossiped a little with a friend (about my ride), and put the bottled Cokes into the fridge.  Ron waited outside.  One of the postal police officers came and talked to him. 

We were outside so long the top of Ron's head started to burn.  We finally had some sun today. 

Eventually, our ride came and we went home. 

Ron started drinking.  I took a nap, got a pretty good one, and woke up with 2 cats in the bed (Torbie and Biscuit). 

I did my God Time (I had a cuddle with Biscuit this morning, instead), and finally took the Claratin (I take the kid's dose) I had forgotten this morning. 

Then of course I had to come and update you on all my antics.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Drunk-dialed

I woke up with a headache today.  I think it was partly the weather front and partly the Big Cups from yesterday. 

I got up, took my shower and did my God Time.  I watched a little TV and tried to go back to bed, I didn't sleep for a while.  I got a pretty good nap when I did fall asleep but I did have to wake up and take some more aspirin. 

I finally got up for good around 3 PM, my head still throbbing.  I ate some leftovers and took my medication, which helped. 

Ron got up and began drinking.  He tries to be "cute" when he's doing it, to prove it's "Harmless and fun".  He called the bank and verified some of our medical bills and cleared, then hung up. 

He started telling me about an old schoolmate.  "Jim" was also blind, and a friend of Ron's.  Ron heard that Jim later went deaf, too. 

The next thing I know, Ron is on the phone to his boss, asking the guy to find this old schoolmate (how?) and tell him Ron wanted to buy (an expensive computer system he undoubtably already has).  I was horrified, and tried to get Ron to hang up, but he wouldn't.  He, in fact, re-recorded the message. 

I am used to Ron drunk-dialing the few friends who will still take his calls (most of them send him to voicemail), but his boss?  He knew Ron had a problem a couple years ago, but I think he assumed Ron got over it. 

This phone call is going to tell a very different story.  I'm embarrassed, and scared.  Work was going pretty well, but the guy is probably going to either 1.  Ignore it or 2.  Come out and do an inspection.

My Dad always says Ron will have to hit "rock bottom" before he admits he has a problem, and confronts it.  Maybe "Problems at work" are a part of that.

Maybe not.  Right now, work is the only thing holding Ron together. 

The cats are doing well on their new diet.  Ron is being good about reducing their treats.  He woke me up in the middle of the night to "keep [Torbie] from stealing Baby Girl's treats"  He was pretty obviously drunk so I helped. 

Torbie cuddled with me during my God Time and Biscuit let me give him a hug.  Baby Girl pretty much ignores me so I returned the favor.  She is Daddy's girl.  Happily she is still think enough that Ron can give her a generous portion of treats now and then. 

I think I'm going to go to bed early.  I'm still a little dizzy. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

A bellyful of Big Cups

I slept in today.  Since I was depressed, I slept in as late as I could, about 9 AM. 

If this is me ON the medication, I would hate to see me OFF it. 

I got up and took my medication, ate my protein bar, and did my shower and God Time.  I watched Supernatural reruns for a while and then went back to bed.  I slept for a couple hours, got up, and ate myself sick on Reese's Big Cups.  I never should have bought that case for Ron. 

I decided, since I was full, to take my medication.  I did that.  I also learned that, yes, I can take my pills with a bellyful of Big Cups. 

Ron has been "better" lately, not as verbally abusive, not as toxic in his attitudes, but still exhausting.  I ask him if his raving makes him feel any better.  He says no.  I ask him why he does it and he says I can't control him. 

I wish he really understood what his negativity does to my overall mood when I'm depressed, or even an average mood.  When I'm manic I don't care. 

He's raving about politics right now.  Like that will do any good. 

At any rate, he's still been "better" but probably "enough" to drive your average person nuts.  Most people laugh at Ron when he starts raving about God being "torture man" "taking too long (to come back", etc. 

Maybe I need to learn to laugh at him, although I don't think it would be well-received. 

He had gone to bed about the same time I did, drunk.  His big goal is to start drinking as soon as possible and go back to bed so he can sleep.  Wake up, start drinking again, back to bed.

I swear, the man has worse depression than I do, but he refuses to see or admit it.  It makes him fairly toxic to me. 

He got up, relatively sober, and decided he wanted to go out to dinner.  I thought he was talking about going out to dinner tomorrow.  We agreed to go to the local taqueria and he called a cab. 

I suddenly realized he meant tonight.  I had to get dressed and get all my stuff together.  I had washed my jeans last night, so I took everything out of the pockets.  I had to put everything back in the pockets and ensure I had everything sorted, don my bra, etc. 

I had been wearing my black cat nightgown, cute for the house but not for dinner out. 

The cab came pretty fast, it was a driver we like.  The restaurant was really quiet, their credit card machine down "Cash only". 

I got a large quesadilla (basically a Mexican grilled cheese), and Ron got the fajita burrito.  We also each got one to go.  I got a large diet Coke and Ron got a beer. 

I'd love to stop him, but I can't.  He didn't finish it, though. 

We ate pretty fast and paid for our dinners.  They came to $24 and change.  Not bad considering we got 4 meals, a large soda, and a beer. 

Ron was all set to leave when I reminded him he hadn't left the tip.  Oops!  We left a good tip and the waitress held the door for us. 

I was really glad we didn't forget the tip, that would be inexcusable.   Ron and I run overly generous when it comes to tipping, and I don't regret that. 

We had a good, fast, ride home.  It is amazing to think what kind of transportation I could have if I were able to drive. 

I hate that, when people tell me I could drive if I wanted to, I just "don't want to drive" etc.  It's like telling Ron he could read a magazine if he just "wanted" to, attacking the victim. 

I try to be stoic but I can get pretty frustrated. 

Anyway, it confirmed my theory, if I ever won a large sum of money, I would hire personal drivers for both myself and Ron.  It would be so nice to make a call, get in the vehicle, and go.  No waiting on a return trip, the driver would wait for me. 

I can dream. 

We put up the leftovers in the fridge, Ron froze his burrito.  It had lettuce in it.  I'm not sure how well it will freeze. 

That's Ron's problem, not mine. 

I fed the cats their canned food when I got home.  I had already given them 1/2 cup of dry food earlier, and they had all eaten some of that.  When I had 1/4 cup in the bowl, they wouldn't eat it, but they ate it when I had a half cup. 

They all took turns eating the wet food, Torbie in particular very interested.  Ron gave them 6 treats each, instead of their usual 30 (!) treats.  I policed them, making sure Torbie didn't steal Baby Girl's treats.  She tried. 

I don't think Ron drank anything before he went back to bed, so he should be pretty reasonable tonight. 

I'm just so tired. 

Ron tells me we may have severe weather tonight so that ought to be interesting. 

Monday, January 16, 2017

Monday

Well, I slept pretty well last night.  I'll take a win when I can get it. 

I hit the snooze button a few times, blaming Torbie all cute and plump (hopefully not for long), in the bed.  I finally got up. 

I was depressed.  My hair looked OK.  I said screw it and didn't take a shower.  I got dressed and ready for work, taking my pills and all that.

We went to work.  We had another pickup, actually past work, in an absolutely terrible neighborhood.  It took us forever to find the house because none of the houses had numbers.  Nothing on the mailboxes, either. 

We finally stumbled across it.  Three cars parked in the driveway.  "If I had 3 drivers living with me" I told the driver "I would NOT be riding paratransit!"  She agreed, but said it's common to pickup someone at a house with several cars parked out front.  I guess they can't be bothered to help.  Ron said maybe the client is just a horrible person and no one wants to help them. 

We honked.  We waited.  The driver asked for a "callout" (just what you think).  Eventually someone came out, dressed in pajamas.  It was 7 AM.  The driver, Ron, and I had all been up for hours. 

"The pickup isn't for another half hour" they whined. 
Actually, it isn't, the driver said.  You have 7 minutes to get the client out here or we are leaving without them. 

About this time, someone inside the house took the callout, and told them to send us away, they would call later for a pickup.  Good luck with that.  That is 1.  Asking for a change (you only get 5 in a month), and 2.  A no-show (only get 5 of those in a month) and bad will with the driver who had to get up at 3 AM and find your sorry butt.  Not to mention Ron and I waiting to go to work to be productive citizens. 

On our approach to the driveway at work, we had a pickup behind us, also wanting to turn into the parking lot.  It didn't want to wait until it was "safe" like our driver did, and we were in the center turn lane.  He drove into the oncoming lane of traffic to make his left turn, happily not causing any accidents, and then parked in a handicapped space.  He did not have handicapped plates, and based on the way he ran into the building, didn't have a disability, either.  He must have been late for work.

We finally got to work and I got Ron inside the building.  We got to work.  Snacks didn't need a whole lot, but I did need to stock peanut butter on cheese crackers.  I find all crackers revolting, but I'm not selling to myself, I'm selling to people who love the damned things, so I sell them. 

I worked on the coffee machine, filling the ground coffee (a nice dark roast) and various powders (French vanilla, creamer, cocoa powder).  That should keep the customers happy for a while. 

I helped Ron stock the bottled vendor, it needed 3 cases of drinks and a whole lot of water.  Ron managed canned sodas by himself.  Pretty soon we were done and we headed out the door. 

Our driver was already there, upset he hadn't been able to get through the gate.  I guess he didn't read the notes on our trip "Please wait in visitor parking".  We left the note for a reason! 

One time one of our drivers backed up a whole line of employees at shift change, trying to get through the gate.  It's a single-file entrance, and he couldn't get through, so about 15 cars backed up behind him.  Someone had to get out of their car, walk up, tell him to go to Visitor Parking, and then back up so the guy could turn around. 

In the meantime, the other employees were furious, and probably ended up late.  A lot of employees come in at the very last minute. 

We got home.  I took a nap.  Someone was trimming a tree with a gas powered chainsaw, I don't know who, I think it was the guy behind us.  Then the #6 kids came out for a rousing play session.  I was tired enough I drowsed through it anyway. 

My medication makes me REALLY tired.  I know it is medication, specifically lithium-related, because it only got really bad when I went up to 4 lithium capsules a day.  But, I need it. 

I got up and took a shower, then did my God time.  I guess I was a little more able to do both now that the antidepressants were firmly on board.  I accidentally shot a stream of water up my nostril during my shower, irrigating my left maxillary sinus cavity.  Oh, that was unpleasant. 

Both Ron and I have been coughing, I think the allergy levels are bad right now in Houston.  We've had very mild weather the last week and that encourages things to release pollen.  The rain also adds to the mold level. 

I need to buy a new air filter for the house.  I forget when I bought the old one but I'm sure it's due for a change.  I have a 16x20x1 inch filter.  Happily they are still available. 

I did most of my God Time and we headed off to Arby's.  Ron didn't want to wait there very long.  Paratransit was going to leave us there for an hour and a half.  So he called a cab to take us, so we'd only have half an hour. 

"A waste of money" the cab driver said.  I agreed, silently. 

We had a good meal.  I love the curly fries. 

Our ride home was supposedly (per the computer) going home after she dropped us.  Ron was very rude when she came.  She was waiting outside.  I waved at her to indicate we were the clients.  Then Ron deliberately took his time finishing his meal because "It wasn't time for the pickup yet, I'm not playing games, and I don't want the driver bossing me around". 

She's just an exhausted woman trying to get our trip over with so she can go home!  Instead of "playing her game" as he saw it, he was playing his own game and I didn't like it. 

What happened to the man who walked a mile to the hospital, with pneumonia, because he didn't want to get a cab driver sick?  I wish I knew. 

After we got home I finished my God time and Ron let the cats play in the garage.  2 of them came in but he knew Biscuit was out there.  I heard him on the phone with Chuck "You have it?  I'll be right out!" 

I realized Chuck had come with Ron's case of vodka, and Ron was about to open the garage door, with Biscuit still inside.  I managed to grab Biscuit in time just as Ron opened the door, using the remote.  He didn't think it through, he had to close the door again, go out in the garage, and then open the door to get the vodka.  He left it in a very inconvenient place.  I asked if I could throw out the old case of vodka and he said no, he still had a partial bottle in there. 

I watched Intervention and cried, knowing I was really crying for myself.  My husband is an alcoholic.  He even admits it, earlier he said "Please get out of the kitchen so the alcoholic can get his vodka" today. 

Well, admitting you have a problem is the first step, I guess, but I still cried as Ron and Chuck gossiped about "Jack" (I wouldn't have told Chuck anything about Jack, but Ron practically gave his home address) out in the garage.  Ron didn't know.  Chuck didn't know.  But I cried. 

I guess that is a healthy step rather than bottling up my emotions. 

Ron's vomiting in a trash can right now.  That's a new development.  He's cursing at God as he does so.  That's not new. 

I learned a couple of interesting things watching Intervention.  Long time readers will remember I submitted Ron to Intervention and they were interested in taking him.  However, events conspired to keep it from happening.  I think the fact that my financial life was totally wrapped up in Ron's business, so I "couldn't" leave him without having another job that could support me, was a factor.  Also, my aunt and uncle were uncomfortable discussing his problems on television. 

Anyway, I never blamed the program.  One counselor said "Addicts get very uncomfortable when people around them start getting better".  I just wrote about that! 

Another is extremely personal and treads on things Ron confided.  I can't share that without his permission, and he'd never give it.  But it gave me a little insight. 

All the stories on the program are so sad, it really is awful when someone refuses the help, even sadder when someone gets clean only to relapse. 

The cats are adjusting well to their new diet.  Torbie was begging for food earlier and I put her up next to her 1/4c portion, and part of the canned food.  She opted for the canned food.  Good.  The vet wants her eating wet food anyway. 

I have plenty of wet food and disposable foam plates.  I put the food on the plate and then throw away the leftovers when I give them their next portion.  Although I'm guessing, now, we won't have as many leftovers. 

I just want my cats healthy.  I think that's reasonable. 

Ron gave me tomorrow off because it's supposed to rain.  He hates rain.  It rained a little this morning, and then it was cloudy and even partly sunny for the rest of the day. 

I'm thinking if tomorrow goes like today, I'll go out on the bus.  But we'll see. 

I did all my "had-to's" last night but I still need to do my bank reconciliation.  Ron wants me to buy him some new headphones from Amazon.  He's pretty hard on his toys. 

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Two days in one, again

Yesterday wiped me out.  I got up, did my morning routine, and headed off to the warehouse with Ron. 

We were meeting "Jack" (not his real name), who's helped us a few times.  This time, though, we had a lot of merchandise.  I wondered how we would fit it all in his old pickup. 

He showed up in his newer pickup, it had a good truck bed and a "lid" to cover the merchandise.  We had some overflow, but he put it in the backseat, along with Ron and his wheelchair. 

We got to work and unloaded.  I got everything in the building.  I stocked everything, including the coffee machine. 

Then we paid all the medical bills, about $2K.  On the one hand, ouch.  That's pretty painful.  That ran more than our property tax this year, or, looking at it another way, is equivalent to our regular homeowners insurance, PLUS flood insurance for a year's coverage. 

On the other hand, rehab alone cost $33K.  I needed Ron in rehab so I could run the business.  Ron needed rehab so he could learn to walk again.  So, I guess at the end of it, it was a "bargain". 

Still... and it took forever to write out the checks, return address labels, stamps, writing the patient account numbers (all of them different) on the checks.  I did it, though.  Then I wrote the check number, date and amount paid on all the original bills so we can reference them in case of any problems. 

Happily, no one "bothered" me while I did it.  They respected the fact I was working, in a different way.  Not to mention all those stamps applied pay their salaries. 

I found it interesting, Ron received all his care in Houston, but most of the billing went to Dallas.  I guess Dallas is big on medical billing for Houston doctors and organizations. 

I dropped them all off at the mailbox and went back to Ron, helped him out until we left. 

I came home, pretty tired after all the physical and mental focus.  Ron had scheduled enough time for me to get a nap. 

I took it.  I forget if it was a good quality but I got some rest.  Ron wanted to go to the BBQ place and get a rack of ribs. 

We did that.  I got a hamburger, which was very good and comprised of angus beef.  It was very filling and a half pound. 

We came home pretty late (our ride home got caught up in traffic) and went to bed.  I slept pretty well and got up at 6.  Well, I set my alarm for 6 but I ended up getting up at 7.  I took my shower and got dressed, we were going to the pet store. 

Ron was almost out of cat treats.  Walmart hasn't had the big ones for a while.  The big, one pound, canisters are his favorite. 

The cats go through a lot of treats. 

Baby Girl could also use a new scratching post.  She has one wrapped in sisal with a rope topper, and she loves it.  She's tearing it to pieces, but it's taken a couple years and she's been having a good time with it. 

We went, we rode with another couple on the way.  We picked them up at a very "posh" subdivision, where the homes start at probably 3 x what my house is worth.  I'm fine with that.  The homeowner's association is probably "up in all their business" every minute of the day and night.  I prefer a little laxity. 

The woman was just horrible, yelling at the man, yelling at the driver, just very rude overall.  The man was rather odd.  We chatted for a little while and then he asked me if I was happy. 

That's not a question you ask a stranger.  I told him I was "as happy as I could be" which I thought was a diplomatic way of saying "Battling a horrific depression right now".  If devotion to God eliminated mental illness, I'd be cured.  I'm not perfect but I'm committed.  I didn't say that. 

Ron, of all people, said we had a church, and named it.  I was shocked.  The man invited us to his church again, apparently it is a "foursquare" church, whatever that is.  We politely declined and Ron got the man talking about BBQ. 

We finally got dropped at the Starbucks next to the pet store.  I got a kolache, pushing Ron in the wheelchair, and then we went to the coffeeshop.  Ron got a mocha (they messed it up, it was supposed to be cold but they made it hot instead). 

I headed out to the store.  I didn't find any good scratching posts in our budget, and will look on Amazon instead.  I did find the cat treats, and bought a bag of cat food because we always need that. 

I also bought a corrugated scratcher.  It was basically a cardboard box with holes in it, designed for scratching.  I don't know if the cats will like it, they did rub up against it and ate the treats I put inside. 

The adoption cats were all precious, and had truly tragic stories.  I wanted to take them all home. 

I walked back to the coffee shop, carrying the scratcher, bag of food, and a bag of cat treats. I made it. 

Our ride finally showed to go home.  It was an immigrant driver.  I don't mind them but some of them have atrocious English.  This guy could barely understand "left" and "right".  I understand it is hard to learn another language but maybe practice speaking it at home, too.  We had a lady wearing purple satin in the back seat next to Ron.  I guess she was going to or from church. 

We got home and I set up the corrugated thing, the cats were mildly interested.  Maybe it will grow on them, or maybe I'll give it to "the cat guy" at work who has 3 cats. 

I do know I need to buy a new scratching post, although Baby Girl seems pretty happy with the old one. 

I took a nap.  I slept pretty well, take it when I can, and #6 woke me up playing outside in the yard.  I decided to do my God Time, which I'd missed this morning.  I did that, and Torbie joined me.  I noticed her "nethers" weren't exactly "fresh". 

They need to go on a diet, all of them. 

I still loved on Torbie, though. 

When Ron got up I told him we need to put the cats on a diet and explained why.  Ron said he wouldn't be able to do that.  They would beg and he would cave into their demands.  I would have to be the food administrator. 

I told him I'd do that once they ate up the current food they have in their bowl.  They might as well enjoy it.  Then it's 1/2 cup a day, plus treats.  I think that is pretty generous.  Biscuit will also get his canned food twice a day. 

I don't necessarily want to get them skinny, just at a healthier weight where they can groom themselves properly.  Torbie could develop joint issues carrying the weight, and I don't want that.  She already takes a lot of time stretching before she gets up or jumps onto anything. 

Ron said I was a hypocrite, because I'm not going on a diet.  I told him I can still clean my butt.  He said I am making excuses that I have to take my pills with food.  If he could see, I would show him the labels in the medication.  He also fails to understand the medication messes with my metabolism. 

At any rate, he accepts they need to be on a diet.  I am sure he will forget that when he is drunk but I can only do what I can do.  I'm just hoping to reduce their overall intake, which, I think, is the best way anyway. 

He also said the toilet sounded funny when he flushed it, and asked me to pour some drain cleaner down the bathroom drain.  I did that, locking the door so Biscuit can't get into the lye.  The last time I put drain cleaner in the kitchen sink, Biscuit shoved his head in the drain.  He's very curious, too much so. 

I need to reconcile my bank accounts and then buy Ron something on Amazon.  He also said he needed vitamins.  He put some money in my account so I can do that. 

I also need to make some dinner, take my pills, and then do up my pills for next week. 

So much for a day "off"! 

Friday, January 13, 2017

Dr Pepper day

#6 had a great time playing outside, and talking by my bedroom wall, until 8 PM.  I got my revenge, though, when our ride came at 3:45 AM, Ron and I came down our rather noisy metal wheelchair ramp, opened the garage door, left, and closed the garage door. 

If I can hear them, they can hear me.  I did try to be quiet but I was exhausted. 

Off to work at 3:45.  We had another pickup in Acres Homes (a notorious ghetto).  The guy had a nice dog outside in the yard, chained up, though.  It was a very sweet looking black lab mix.   I felt sorry for it. 

We went to work and got the water (we had bought 2 cases of water and brought them to work today) unloaded.  I left Ron with the water and then went inside for a cart.  I brought the cart out, loaded it, and got Ron inside. 

People at work are very nice, nicer than the general population, about opening the door for us/him.  It's lovely. 

We got to work.  We were running all day, especially when the repairman showed up.  Ron forgot to tell me he was coming!  He had some bad news, the coin mech backed up and fried the board, so we needed a new coin mech (it's the thing that holds the coins, and makes proper change).  Ouch.  That cost us $200. 

We also got our Dr Pepper delivery, 55 cases (one had burst open, so he subtracted it).  He's a very nice man.  I helped him as much as he'd let me (not much) and gave him my cell phone in case he ever needs to contact me.  If Ron is in the stockroom or at our fridge, the phone won't ring, so it's a possibility. 

We got all that done, the repairman made himself a mocha using change, which was accepted by the new mech, and we left. 

We came home and I went straight to bed.  I was exhausted.  When I did sleep last night, it wasn't the quality I had hoped to obtain. 

I didn't sleep well this morning, either.  I was upset at Ron, somewhat.  Not because he started drinking the minute we got home, but just his general attitude today. 

He kept condescending and acting as though I were really stupid, and he was "humoring" me and saying things like "Oh, you poor thing, you can't help it" in a biting tone of voice.  I have learned not to object, it just leads to verbal abuse, but I wanted to ask him who he thought he was to talk about me like that.  He just HAS to look down on me. 

I'll tell you something.  Everyone thinks Ron's drinking relates to his accident.  It doesn't.  He would have a binge drinking blowout, a blackout, sober for months, and then do it again. 

It's when I got my diagnosis and medication, and started getting better.  I think he was very threatened by that and that's when the binge drinking began, almost to the day of my diagnosis.  Suddenly he couldn't condemn me for being overly emotional or "losing it again".  Nope.  I was fine, and getting better every day. 

It took me years to get to what I would call a medication happy place, but I was on an upward curve and that really threatened him.  That's when the drinking escalated. 

I've had a lot of time to think about it. 

Ron needs someone to look down on.  If I'm doing better than him, he loses that, so he's always fault finding and criticizing. 

Anyway, I tried to sleep, but didn't, not very well.  I think Mrs. #6 went out back and beat a rug, that's the only thing I can figure based on the noise I heard.  It sounded as though someone were being beaten to death.  Needless to say, it woke me up.  Grr. 

I finally got up and we went out for fast food.  We had a rather long ride going there but it was a driver we like.  We got stuck at the restaurant for an hour or so and then we came home.  It was a straight ride. 

Ron and I had talked, nicely, during dinner.  That's the nice thing about eating out fast food, he can't drink.  We talked so much about work I told him he should deduct it on his taxes!  We also talked about the cats. 

I told him Baby Girl had tapeworms (great dinnertime talk, but I kept my voice down).  I asked if he would help me hold her down so I could pill her.  He agreed. 

When we got home, I focused on getting the pill while Ron "Held her down".  In Ron's case, that meant pressing down on her back and leaving her legs free.  She got a paw loose and scratched me pretty good on the side of the hand.  It bled a lot.  I asked Ron to please hold her legs and he said no, he wanted to stop. 

Then he spent half an hour apologizing to the cat.  I wish he apologized to me that way.  He said he was glad she had scratched me, I had "raped" her, etc. 

I guess we are taking her to the vet for her treatment. 

Then I did my God Time. 

He took a Benadryl for his allergies and then began drinking.  He said he might yell at me because I had tried to "rape" his cat. 

I didn't argue.  It is pointless to argue with Ron.  As far as he is concerned I might as well have put her in a pillowcase and beat her. 

Baby Girl is fine, running around the house, meowing, eating treats.  She let me pet her.  I think she was laughing at me because she won the Battle Of the Pill.   I washed my hand a couple times, and used some peroxide.  I should be fine. 

Then Ron called Chuck.  You will love this.  Ron has 2 assignments:
1.  Go to the local "scantily clad waitress" restaurant and have Chuck "be the designated pervert, and tell {Ron} all about the women there." 
2.  Buy Ron another case of vodka, getting reimbursed for time, travel, and merchandise. 

It's a good thing I'm taking Depakote or I'd get a horrible headache.  I just have to let Ron be Ron and worry about letting God correct him. 

Tomorrow we do a supply run with "Jack", the guy who doesn't have any health problems. 

I wish there were a test

"Stop bothering me or I'll hit you. " Ron shouted.  Alarm bells began to ring.  Lately, Ron has been threatening physical vi...