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Showing posts from July, 2008

Hello Dolly!

Today we had about as much of a hurricane as I ever hope to see. We had a few rain bands from Hurricane Dolly, but that's it. Good. I hope everyone is safe "Down South".

I saw my doctor today, my psychiatrist, also known as a P-doc. He loved Ron's "I didn't escape, they gave me a day pass" t-shirt and complimented me on my weight loss (the lady who runs the deli mentioned it as soon as she saw me). He was thrilled I've lost it and wanted to know how (I told him). Oh, and he'd dropped his prices. I have $10 more in my pocket. He gave his approval to my medication changes (less!) so we'll save a lot of money on prescriptions and I won't be so foggy-headed.

I also saw the ads from Atkins Nutritionals that have got everyone on the low-carb message boards so inflammed. LEAN MEAT? You can do it, using our sweet treats? Poor Dr Atkins must be rolling over in his grave. He never, ever said you had to buy special products to lose we…

Don't whine about side effects, Heather

It always happens. My lithium was really kicking my butt today. I tend to feel dizzy, weak, glue-brained, very sweaty, and slow.

I got frustrated. Snapped at Ron, even.

Came home, ate too much whipped cream, collapsed into bed with the cat. Napped for hours. Woke up, still feel the same. I almost died walking to the mailbox.

OK, you've had enough of my pity party. Then I went to post on a message board and I saw a thread titled "Mentally ill...". Hm. I thought I have some experience in the matter so I opened it up.

Someone's family member is bipolar, type one, psychotic features like me. Except THIS lady ain't taking her medication! She's making life hell for everyone she meets.

Do I want to be her, or me?

I'll suck up my side effects and try not to whine.

Dizzy Spells

I wish I knew what was up with my body. Was I stupid to donate blood on Wednesday? Are my new generic (Thank you, Jesus!) Risperdals more potent than the old version? Am I getting so thin I need to cut down on my Risperdal? Is the heat getting to me? Is it PMS?

I don't know... all I know is I'm dizzy! Lightheaded, all the time. It's aggravating. I almost blacked out a few times, too, very embarrassing. It was bad enough that I decreed a WEEK off of working out - unheard of for me.

I'm still busy at work, I lifted plenty of heavy cases of drinks today and moved a couple of vending machines, but I feel very delicate. I don't like it at all.

Eating seems to help so I'm assuming it's low blood sugar. I have a lot of the symptoms and even though I've eaten over 2000 calories today here I am, lightheaded and hungry again.

I plan to cut my Risperdals in half for a few days and see if that helps. Riseperdal has been linked to hypoglycemia and diabe…
I've been feeling a little uninspired with regards to my blogs lately so I've just done the low-carb and workout blogs. Even those have been pretty basic.

This morning was a busy day for me, I woke up, ran, came home, did weights in the garage, ate, cleaned up, went to the blood bank and donated blood, and went to the mall with Ron to get a new cell phone. He's got ringtones for me and a good freind, and "Taking Care of Business" for everyone else. I think it's great.

He got the same model I did, but in a different color.

I was worried about donating blood for a couple of reasons: I'm probably fatter than I was the last time I donated. It's harder to get at the veins. I'm taking mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and antipsychotics. Would I get sick? Would I freak out?

No. It was a very easy stick and the Blood Bank did their best to spoil me rotten. The center is only about 5 minutes from the house, it's very easy. Actually, now'…

On breasts

A few days ago Ron realized I was short on cash and gave me a small cash "gift". He's a sweetie. Buy yourself something fun, Heather.

I went to the bookstore and looked at the weightlifting books. Nothing really appealed. I paged through all the magazines and found a few that looked interesting. I'm always interested in articles about performance nutrition, protien powder supplementation, etc. I don't care so much for the chemically enhanced bodybuilders but it is nice to clearly see the muscle groups I'm improving in such awesome detail.

I find the women in the magazines both inspiring and pitiful. Let's start with the two girls in the magazine ad for supreme protien bars. They have obviously embarked on an extensive program. They eat clean. They have very little visible bodyfat and they are very sexy. They have obvious curves and nothing to be ashamed of - so why breast implants? They are plenty attractive without the silicon blobs in their …

Squatting in the garage

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My home gym

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Me on July 5th

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Onto happier subjects

I finally put up links to my other two blogs. I enjoy them.

Heather's Heavy Metal is my powerlifting blog - all about the weights. If you're not interested in weights you can skip that one. Some of the language is a bit strong.

Heather Shrinks is my low-carb blog. If you want the recipe to the latest thing I created, or a detailed food log, workouts I'm doing, etc, go there.

Everything else goes here. Tonight I plan to cook up some cube steaks and freeze 'em. I'm going to be a horrible person and go shop at Walmart tomorrow. I swore I'd never do that when I worked retail - now I'm becoming the thing I hated! [grin]

I went to the fireworks stand today and bought some. We like "Things where you light the fuse and they go up in the air and go bang" - Ron. We're very fond of Twitter Glitters and Saturn Missles. The artillery shell things make me nervous. Those could do some damage. I got some 36-shot items and some other count items (…

Enough about his family

Ron's decided to leave things the way they are. He's made enough attempts at reconciliation. He doesn't want to play games. He has (in my opinion) absolutely nothing to apologize for. "I'm sorry I was seriously injured and it looked like Heather might need some help?" I mean, what do you say? They have our number and address, we're in the book. Ron and Heather ____ . If they want to have a relationship with us, we've offered the olive branch for years.

It is my humble opinion that they don't want a relationship, they are terrified of the idea that one day Ron may have a complication and end up moving in with them. That fear overwhelms all other emotions. My opinion only.

Sure, I wasn't easy. Hell, I was in about the most stressful situation possible! My husband's dying, I got laid off, he got robbed, I had no rent money, I'm looking at eviction... my whole life is in turmoil. Thank God I had a loving family that stepped up…

The fences they broke

Ron's been talking to his parents recently and she told him she wants him to resolve "it" with his brother and sister. "It" being the way they treated us after Ron's accident. They wanted to throw his life away and put him in a nursing home because he would need some help after the accident.

I told them, I'd do everything for Ron. As it turns out, all I needed was an occasional ride to Walmart. A tough job to be sure. I told them, don't worry, I don't need anything. They did worry and the intrigues continued. They ended up dropping us right when I decided to depend on them for some small tasks. That's fine. I don't miss them.

Here are some examples:
* If Ron loves you so much, why didn't he marry you? At the time, Ron would ask for me repeatedly if I wasn't there. He never did that with anyone else.

* Telling the doctor I was "Crazy" and unfit to care for him. The doctor laughed at them.

* Instructing me t…