Showing posts from September, 2010


Last night, I left you as I was going to help Ron appraise and make temporary repairs to the holes in the fence - caused by the neighbor's exuberant, escapist, dog.  We managed to make temporary repairs and I had a pretty good time.  Ron and I decided the best course of action was plywood, screwed to the upright fence posts, on our side. 

I left a 2x4 on top of a broken horizontal strut - more on that later.  The neighbors came home and heard us working and screwing away.  They have seen a lot of Ron as he's repeatedly gone over to ask them to please secure the dog and repair the damages to our fence.

We just worked, and didn't say anything.  Their dog had gotten out of their yard yesterday and the kid had to chase it all over the place, again.  She kept trying to push through the fence as we worked. 

I have gotten rather creative; I'll post photos, but I have various improvised patches.  The most common is a piece of plywood, braced against the fence, with... someth…

Beer for his horses

Today has got to be broken into two sections.  First, the song.  I have a decent amount of international readers, so I'll post a link with lyrics. 

OK.  Why is Ron listening to this? 

Someone tried to break into our stockroom last night.  Let me show you a photo of our stockroom door:

From November, 2009
You'll notice the padlock and hasp.  The door has a keylock, but we had problems.  Sure the door had a keylock but everyone had keys.  One guy even opened every door we had using his keyring.  Once we installed the hasps and padlocks, (we have 2 stockrooms), suddenly we had SO MUCH MORE INVENTORY.  A manager has a copy of the padlock key. 

Today I came in and noticed tool marks all over the door.  The hasp was bent and the "padlock holder" had been partially pulled out of the door.  I had to tighten a couple of screws, significantly.  The whole works looks warped - like someone tried to break in! 

I was furious, angrier than when I got mugged.  It's one thing…

Turning it over to God

When Ron and I call Yellow Cab, and the cab is nearby, the driver pushes the "Callout" button. 
Our phone rings.  "This is the Yellow Cab computer, your cab is outside" 

Right now, the dog is outside.  Again.  Like I've said, it's an old fence and it's not hard for an active young dog to knock off a board and worm through. 

I finally prayed about it and decided to turn it over to God.  I can allow myself to get upset about this; getting angrier, or I can calmly accept the fact that the God who made the Universe can take care of the dog problem. 

It IS very annoying.  We called the dog catcher.  The dog was in our yard all night.  Knocked another board loose.  But guess what?  When the pound came by the dog stayed in her yard.  She keeps camping out on the porch and refusing to leave.  I chase her off, she comes back.  It's embarrassing.  I don't want people to think it's my dog - it's not. 

If I wanted a dog, I'd have one.  I do…

What did I do today? I shouldn't be out in public!

So, what DID I do today?  It was my day off, and unlike last week, I didn't have a migraine.  I woke up with a mild headache (part of the side effect package).  A single asprin with a glass of milk seemed to do the trick. 

I had asked Ron to drop me off at Starbucks.  I am not welcome any more at the gas station near the Starbucks; a result of trying to give the owner a bag of candy with "The Amazing Life of Jesus" scripture booklet.  He got pretty apoplectic.  I'm not going back; he scared me and I have no Holy Spirit "Push" to go, either. 

As a result of the drama (rolleyes - I hate drama, love predictable), I brought a 4 pack of Diet Dr Pepper bottles.  I didn't have time to finish bagging up my driver candy, which resulted in mad grabs for handfuls of candy, baggies, and scripture booklets as the driver pulled up.  I stuffed them all into a gallon baggie and headed out. 

It was J, a nice guy.  We happily had a straight trip.  Ron got a snack and …

More Dog Drama

For my spammers:
耶稣爱你!(Jesus loves you!)

Well, that was interesting.  I was just attacked in my own yard, by the dog next door. 

They had blocked off a loose board in the fence (I can't fix it from my side) and allowed the dog to roam loose today.  When I got home, I decided to mow the yard. 

As I mowed the yard, the dog charged me repeatedly.  I had to get a stick and whack it everytime it tried to bite the lawnmower, as I pushed it.  Almost bit me at one point. 

So, when Ron said he was calling Animal Control, who will be by tomorrow, I agreed.  I am sick of these dog dramas. 

We live in a fairly large subdivision, many, many homes.  Only ONE dog roaming loose and barking constantly... and attacking ME in MY OWN YARD.

I couldn't make this up.

Sadly, this is all true.  Union election time is here. 

A union official was arrested and charged - BY THE UNION, with 20 counts of fraud and embezzlement charges of over $13,000.  He is campaigning to be re-elected.  "A Proven Record of Service" is his tagline. 

Someone wrote "CRIMINAL" across the top of the flyer.  Someone else wrote "NOT convicted".  [groan]  THE UNION FILED CHARGES ON THE MAN. 

Not only that, good old Princess is running again.  I'll call her that.  She has some and gone on various slates like "Team Leadership".  From what I've seen (as a freelance vendor), I would probably not vote for her.  Anyway, she did her usual flyer, look at how I've served.  Someone is walking around putting stickers "DOES NOT WORK FOR USPS - RETIRED" on her flyers, and someone else designed a horrific campaign poster featuring a large roach crawling over her name, and a big "NO" sign on top. 

Of course, years ago…

A pebble in my shoe

It seems, in my life, I'm destined to have some kind of issue with the gray house.  [laugh]  When we first moved in, the homeowner's wife said I had to stop the cat from looking at her, or she'd kill him.  A teacher... said this.  I reminded her that harming an animal is a felony, she just made a threat.  She also had to watch Ron fall down in front of the house before she stopped parking in front of our yard.  They have a huge driveway.  I have seen 4 cars... and they only had two! 

Then the moved out and the first renters moved in.  They were actually OK, if you disregard the young men losing their ball over the fence and coming after it.  Ron and I were OK with that, until someone warned me it was a liability issue.  Not only that, I caught them looking in our windows more than once.  We use curtains and blinds, but I didn't appreciate some kid I don't even know, staring in my window, then looking at me with no shame and saying "You have a lot of books&quo…

"God's Dog"

Last night as I lay in bed, I had a thought.  I want to confine the neighbor's dog so it stays off our property, and doesn't get hit by a car.  I want the method of confinement to be available whenever she gets out.  Why not buy a chain with a padlock? 

The house has a large tree; the chain could be run around the tree and padlocked (so the tenants can't remove it), then, when the dog gets out, clip her to the chain.  She's confined, IN THEIR YARD.   Our front yards, in the subdivision, are not fenced. 

That's exactly what I did, and sure enough, as I got out of the vehicle I saw the dog on our porch, again.  I opened the chain (I think 15 feet is plenty) and secured it to the tree.  Doggie went on the end of the chain.  I found it sad that the tenants can't be bothered to do a single thing for this dog. 

So far, so good.  I don't hate the dog, I just want it off my property.  I don't want the liability and the fecal issues, either. 

Speaking of, la…

Ron thinks I'm evil

Ron thinks I'm evil but I don't care.  The people who live next door moved out after we got burgled several years ago.  They rent the house now.  It has been a sucession of bad tenants, and the last one looks to be the worst. 

They have a dog.  The fence between our yards is a very old, brittle wood.  It has been previously damaged by aforementioned former bad tenants.  Their little boys thought it was "fun" to rip boards off the fence and crawl through "The Hole", snooping around and looking into my windows.  I caught one of them in my backyard and asked what he thought he was doing.  It is fenced on all sides, with a latched gate. 

"Oh, I wanted to see if you wanted me to mow your yard."  I told him not now, not EVER.  He wanted $20 to do the front, only, and had no explanation for why I had caught him peering into my window.  I ran him off. 

So, it seems every tenant has done yet more damage to the fence.  The last tenant has girls, and a do…

Ron vs. The Toilet

I got a nasty headache today; I guess eating that pizza topping was a bad idea.  Ron and I had a nice quiet day together, we went to Burger King, ate, and came home. 

I took a long nap, spent some time on "my" message boards, and plan to organize my laundry.  I have a lot of clean clothes that I need to put away. 

I also need to do my God Time and eat some dinner.  All in all, a nice quiet day. 

Tomorrow we go to work, then Walmart (we need a part to fix the toilet), and then home again.  Then toilet surgery, most likely.  Should be interesting.  In a matchup of Ron vs. toilet I think Ron will win. 

Oh, and I also managed to do some knitting, too.  Yay.

"This is how God gets things done"

Months ago, I was walking to a gas station.  I approached a busy intersection of a freeway and a very busy street, about 8 lanes in each direction.  At the median by the left turn lane, two affluent looking women were panhandling, sticking a big plastic jar into car windows for "donations".  I was disgusted, and as I crossed the street I heard one tell another "This is how God gets things done." 

Oh, it enraged me.  Yeah, and all the people you shoved the jar at, I'm sure doing that led them to Jesus and a deeper understanding of salvation.  They just saw you and YOUR God as an excuse to beg for money.  If Jesus wants money, why not skip the professional hair dye job and do it at home?  Give the balance to Him. 

Oh, it made me boil.  Still does. 

Today, I left the house with a huge tote bag filled with 95 "Invitation" New Testaments, 5 "Vida en Jesus" (Spanish) New Testaments, and 5 kiddie New Testaments.  I had a large "Free Bibles&…

A Few in Heaven

Well, it's almost time to go.  I'm prayed up, stocked up, and even have a couple bottles of Diet Dr Pepper.  I've got Bibles in 2 languages and scripture booklets in 4.  I've asked God to lead and guide me and I'm wearing my reflective jogging vest over a VERY flourescent pink t-shirt and jeans.  Ron is wearing a non-gang-colored tshirt and black slacks. 

I've got my pills onboard and just waiting on the driver to show.  Please give me an empty corner, Lord, so I can spread your word today.  :)   Keep us safe.  Thank you!  Send me hungry people.  

I hope to meet a few  in Heaven one day.

I'm glad I'm a mutant

Tomorrow, Ron says he is coming with me to do the handout.  I was a bit skeptical. 

Then, tonight, while I was fixing up the Bibles, I heard him on the phone bragging about my Bible Handouts.  Ron's friend kept telling him how awesome I was, how "No normal woman would have stuck around after your accident". 

"Well," I told Ron "I'm glad I'm a mutant."  God made it clear: Ron always did better with me around.  That's all I needed to know.  I just focused on loving Ron and let God carry the worries.  Even crazy I knew I had to do that... I can't imagine being the kind of woman who could walk away.  So what if he thought we lived at the home improvement store? 

I did, briefly, consider it at one point.  Ron's family had decided they would force us to give up our apartment and move in with his elderly disabled parents.  Instead of caring for 1, I'd be caring for 3.  When I objected, they said "Well, we know you won't le…

A great gift

Ron and I were talking about the power games being played with the pallet jack.  "Let's just buy our own jack" he said.  Excellent.

I was wrong

I deleted this

Happy Anniversary

Well, today was 18 years with Ron.  Overall, it went pretty well.  The small soda machine, not covered by our contract, died and I saved Ron a repair bill.  I also repaired a faulty bill validator.  In addition to that, I did an inventory, called in an order for delivery tomorrow, got a milk delivery, and stocked the machines, while helping Ron. 

Ron said I was a big help, and meant it.  Then we went out to lunch after work.  We had a good time; he only had one beer.  Tomorrow I have to get up at 2 AM for work. 

I am somewhat dreading it.  Romeo will be there, and his butthead employee has decided he hates me because I wore a Christian t-shirt.  Apparently, very few people across the hall are coming in to work, and act like professional human beings. 

I'm there to work.  If they are going to act like jerks, I will pray for them and take care of my business, without their help.  The fact that the guy is still making odd comments about kissing me, 3 months after he tried, is rath…
Ron had a bad night but I managed to get a good night's sleep. I came to some realizations, though.

Some battles Ron has to fight on his own.

The Devil is a lot bigger and meaner than me.

God is a lot stronger than the Devil.

I can't fight the Devil; I'd get crushed. But God can fight him, using me.

Now it's off to wake him up - our ride comes in 20 minutes.

Drunk again

My sister just called and I was just so resigned and negative. Drunk again. Singing outside, loudly, at the neighbor's dog "If you're happy and you know it bark your head"

Wanting to go talk to the neighbor kids, as they got off the bus, and "warn" them about the mark of the beast. It's just sad, sickening, and depressing.

I just dread him. On the one hand, I want to lay down the law and give him an ultimatium. On the other hand, I want him to end up and crisis and deal with his drinking already. Leaning more towards #2.

Just so damned tired. Don't I have enough?

That was a lot nicer than I expected

Ron had offered to help me get my New Testaments, but I couldn't do it yesterday. I told him I'd like to get them today if he didn't mind. I also said I'd like a trip to Burger King.

So, I got up this morning, we went to Starbucks, and I pushed him over to the Christian bookstore in the wheelchair. He played my music on his talking book machine with a minimum of commentary.

We got over to the store and I bought my New Testaments. I had a discount card which I used. I even got some Spanish Scripture Candy. We had a good pickup and went home.

I told Ron, I'd love to spend the day with you (he has made a concerted effort to be positive and upbeat), but you'll have to change that last trip to a wheelchair. He did that.

We took the wheelchair to Burger King. It was so nice to just LEAVE when we were done, without waiting for a ride! While eating Ron told me he would like to participate in my next handout. He wanted a sign. His only question, "I don't have t…

Go back to hell!

As I get deeper into evangelism and prayer warfare, I learn that it angers bad things. Just the mention of a Big Bible Handout and I am stricken with a horrible migraine.

I find it sadly amusing when someone says, oh, I had a migrane, and threw up, so I went to the hospital. [snort] Virtually every migraine involves me getting violently ill into a bucket. This one wasn't bad as they go, only 12 hours.

I did nothing other than shower, then go straight back to bed. I took a total of 2 phenergans, which helped.

It must have been the sugarfree icecream. Happily, that means I won't have one tomorrow.

I have had migraines on my birthday and they sucked. So, as I totter to my feet again, determined even more to do my handout, I have a message for the bad things:

GO BACK TO HELL. You won't stop me.

Heather the Heretic?

Some might consider this heretic; but I am convinced God uses my cat to comfort me. If you look at my slideshow, you'll see two cats. The white one was very old when he came to live with me, had 4.5 great years, and then went to Jesus. "Frosty" is one of the reasons I didn't commit suicide. Ron always saw him as "My" cat, and I knew if I died, especially by my own hand, he'd have the cat put down. I loved Frosty too much.

He would come and lay on my lap as I cried and cried. Even if I wasn't crying he'd just get up into my lap and settle down. He was wonderful, and I know he's in heaven.

Bubba (black cat) is a far more independent cat, but when I'm having a bad day I like to take a nap, if possible. I did so today. Bubba got into bed with me as soon as I lay down, curling up against my left side and staying there for hours. What a wonderful comfort.

I felt very emotionally battered this weekend. On top of the other worries, s…

Get up and fight, damnit!

Heidi, it's Wednesday. But I got a dozen icecreams, it'll take a few days to hand them out.

I just get so angry at Ron; I don't show it to him. You get to see my secret anger. Yes, he has suffered loss. Yes, he has a right to grieve. But get up and FIGHT, damnit! Don't just lie there moaning, get up and fight.

I feel Ron is so wrapped up in demonic lies and delusions; and he doesn't even really believe in the Devil! When he says anything about the Devil, it is generally a comment of "I can see why he rebelled" and "I feel sorry for him". WHAT? Then he goes off crying "Why me?"

Get this: he has a right to grieve. He has a right to be sad. I had a terrible depression when I realized that Ron and I would NEVER go on our miles-long walks again. But he's gone into this victim mentality and it's very aggravating. You have to MOVE ON. It's been almost 8 years.

Me, I'm a fighter. You hit me? I'm going to hi…

If it kills me

It's so sad to watch Ron drunk. My only consolation; Jesus hurts even more than I do; He loves Ron more than I could dream.

I wouldn't die for him, especially if he were drunk and name-calling. But Jesus did.

I did have a pretty decent time cleaning up the side yard. I had let some saplings and sticker bushes grow up because the former kids next door kept breaking holes in the fence, crawling through after balls, and climbing over the gate.

The kids next door, girls, don't look to be jocks.

I got it all done in about an hour. I boarded up the holes in the fence, trimmed the trees, and mowed all the sticker bushes. Ron "asked" me to do it; I finally said "I will do it because you asked me to, not because you are calling me names. All you had to do was ask." I went out and did it while he headed over for another glass of wine.

The area outside my computer room window is nice and tidy now. I plan to plant something pretty there - what, I have no id…

My neighbors

My neighbors probably hate us. Ron staggered over there drunk, several times, to "talk" about their dog. I didn't go with, God only knows how he embarrassed himself.

Today I lost my temper when the dog broke a board off the fence and got into my yard again, and left a nice large "gift". I stepped in it.

Then Ron and I got into a really dumb shouting match in the backyard and he goes off drinking. UGH. I* told him they should fix it, their dog, their side. Name calling. I forget what he called me; nice thing about having the audio processing problem.

They probably heard all of it. To their credit, the next time I went outside they had blocked all doggie access points to our yard. It's an old fence. I'm just embarrassed.

This depression has a fair portion of "irritable". Ron keeps saying I have "a mean tone of voice" when he is sober.

AGH. Anyway, I am fixing up the side yard. Hot and filthy work. It looks great and I thi…

Fly away

When God calls me home, I am ready. [laugh] I mean, read ONE week of posts. For a woman who hates drama, I have far too much in my life.

I slept terribly because Ron's little friend kept getting into the yard and barking under my bedroom window all night. I got up at 5, because we had to go to work. The next door neighbor came over and I said "She is getting into our yard, I guess she needs to go back onto the chain." She agreed. Yet, when we come home, the dog is running all over our property.

The dog is a car chaser. They're on the corner of a busy street. This will not end well for them. [shrug] Their problem.

Me, I'm a cat person. Cats are pretty undemanding. I feed him and water him - both are feeder type dispensers so he could probably go a week without additional supplies. He likes to hang out around me, and is happy to sleep in my bed when I'm in it. He uses a corner I prepared in the yard. He lets himself in and out his cat door. If …

The stories I could tell

Not an easy night. Ron got so drunk he fell down outside, he is encouraging the neighbor's dog to come visit... petting her, feeding her. I don't want a dog. I don't think they want a dog, either. Ron complains bitterly about the barking and then encourages her to sit in his lap. He went over to the neighbor's house, twice, drunk, to talk about the dog. I don't know what he said, I didn't go with him. Just tonight. He got me out of the tub twice and interrupted my God Time 3 times on dog-related business.

I can hear him cooing at the dog right now. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to the cat, and it's not fair to the dog. I don't want a dog! Ron won't take care of her, that'll be up to me. The dog is an escape artist and a car chaser = major vet bills or heartbreak WHEN she gets hit by a car. Her spay status is unknown.

He's drunk and it's impossible to reason with him drunk. The last thing I need is another livi…

We answer kindly

Not a good morning. I slept well, but the stupid dog barking next door, very annoying.

I actually got up depressed and had a pretty miserable couple of hours. I finally got smart, took a double dose of Wellbutrin (150 mg) with my AM, and did a punching bag workout listening to my favorite tunes. It's pretty hard to stay depressed while listening to something like "Make War".

Most likely, you HATE rap. Well, turn down the volume and read the lyrics. :) It's great reading.

Ron wanted to work on his gate, and he needed help. He had been a little ugly to me earlier, he really doesn't understand when I'm depressed, I'm not "mean"; I'm not "attacking him". I'm depressed. I don't have the energy... [sigh]

Anyway, God made it clear to me that I should help Ron as though he had just declared his undying love for me. When Ron is ugly to me God always reminds me of this verse: 1 Corinthians 4:11-13 (New International Version)
11To this ver…

Another video blog

The Old Enemies

After an hour of uploading, Blogger shut down. I guess if I video blog I'll upload it to Youtube and then link over here.

Anyway, battling some depression tonight. I told Ron, which I hate to do. I have a very strong script "Don't bother people with your mental illness".

I've said this, but it is so hard, when I'm in the pit, to actually climb out and do things I enjoy. I have to force myself to pick up my knitting, listen to my music, and even drink one of my beloved Diet Dr Peppers. Things are so damned hard.

"Loss of interest" doesn't even come close to describing what it's like to find my happiness account completely overdrawn and a gang of misery thugs on my tail. UGH. Envision me, running down a dark street, slipping in a puddle of god-knows-what, hiding behind filthy dumpsters as the old enemies Self Harm, Hopeless, Despair, Pointless, NoFun, Hateful, and Suicide (fortunately haven't seen that rascal in a while) chase me lik…

God created me for amazing things.

I was supposed to have today off. Not only did I have to work, I had to get up at 5 AM. When we got picked up, we rode around for over an hour before they finally dropped us off. I had to take out the rolling dumpster, do the sodas, and help Ron with the coffee machine.

Our pickup was late, and the driver was drastically delayed in helping two elderly ladies. She also brought back very bad memories asking incessant questions about the Deli. UGH. Former and current Postal Workers find it nearly impossible to believe we LOST money operating the thing; we lost over a thousand a month. Why can't they comprehend that? If it were really a lucrative operation, we'd still be running it.

I have the personal opinion that unless you have people who can pick their own lunch and break times, a deli's a bad idea. Especially in a plant with very tight schedules, breaks, and lunches. It is quite common for the supervisors to work them 7.5 hours with no lunch, then "clock th…

Today it's written

I slept in until about 8:30, then got to work on weatherproofing Ron's gate. OH. Once Ron and I figured out how to open the canister, the fumes... intense.

I did the BRIGHT thing (end sarcasm) and decided to do this all in my closed up garage - varnishing the wooden gate at every possible angle; then varnishing the 4x4 support post. Oh, those fumes were INTENSE.

I took some fresh air breaks but still ended up with a nasty headache. Oh, and I woke up in agony because I had started my cycle. AGH. Not the best "Day Off" in the world!

HOWEVER, I was NOT going to let that get me. I had always regretted that I had never "properly" wood-treated Ron's first gate, and suspected it would have lasted longer if I'd given it a good weatherproofing. I had to do this gate.

Next time, I will take my husband's advice, drag the thing out into the yard, and do it there. I would have had to watch it until it dried, because it's a very nice looking gate.

I …

I did a video blog today.

But Blogger is being a booger so I will try Youtube.

Youtube worked. Oh, and I did take the third lithium. Language rated PG.

Driver Candy Video

I talk about how I prepare the Bibles and candy bags for distribution. I also pray for all the recipients daily.

Heather Knits video

New Video, as requested. :)

I could have died today

Today was pretty interesting. I woke up and Ron was reading Brother Yun, the book I'd been asking him to "look" at for ages. Great.

I got up, did my God Time, and made up several bags of candy. I checked my inventory and ensured I had the Spanish candy, too. Beep, beep, time to go.

We went to the warehouse store. I handed out tons of candy and one employee just walked up and asked. Wonderful! I am always happy to share. I bought candy bars and pastry, paid up and left. Ron and I waited outside.

One of the Metrolift Yellow cabs pulled up. It's a Dodge Ram minivan, with the back row taken out to make room for a wheelchair. It was just the driver, an older lady in the front seat, Ron in the back passenger seat, and I sat behind the driver. We got on the freeway.

As we approached the interchange, a black Lincoln SUV suddenly cut across several lanes of traffic, headed our way. Thanks to quick driver reflexes it DID NOT hit me.

I thought. Huh. I could have …