Anyway, after my video blog (scroll down), God showed me something: I've never grieved what we lost.
Ron and I lost a tremendous amount in the accident. I lost that vital husband, the one who'd unload an entire pallet of soda and stack them 13 cases high, the guy who walked 2 miles to work each way while working 12-14 hour days. Ron lost his mobility. More than that, of course, but I never really grieved it.
At first I was busy fighting to take him home, then I cared for him - a full time job for three. We went back to work and I had to be the "everything" there - still am. He got better, and worse, and worse again. He went into the wheelchair full time.
That's a hell of a ride. I have a right to grieve my losses.
Who would tell a person who lost a child: you need to forgive death for taking her from you? You wouldn't. You'd console them.
It is OK for me…