Showing posts from December, 2015

Not agonized

Ron did apologize, halfheartedly. 

I didn't sleep well Sunday night.  Monday morning found me at work, stocking and getting deliveries, in addition to assisting Ron. 

Doc's office called, they would see me at 3:15 PM.  Now, I love Doc, but he tends to run late. 

We had a horrible ride home, going around and around for over an hour, before we finally got home.  I barely had time to do my God Time and get a cranberry juice before my cab arrived (I paid for a private cab, to get there).  The weather was miserable, too, cold, windy, and overcast. 

I got there, paid, and waited.  Then I waited some more.  Doc is great, but he tends to run behind.  He takes as long as it takes, which in my mind is a good thing, but it did make for a very long wait with some very, apparently, contagious people in the waiting room. 

Doc and I agree, it is foolish and unsafe to see a doctor for a virus, because the doc generally can't do anything.  They tried to give me a flu shot but I told t…

Killing off tender feelings

Ron has just been awful today. 

First it would be the whole "I would be a terrible father" thing.  That was bad enough, depressing enough, on it's own.  Then it was the usual belittlement and derogatory comments about my faith when he found out I was doing my God time.  I tried my best to turn him out, but the last I heard, he was rolling off down the hall, ranting at God, a large glass of wine in his hand. 

On occasion, we watch church on my computer.  Good enough, although I have to deal with the drinking and derogatory comments during same.  I think he just likes to heckle and drink and "get away with it" while presenting a veneer of respectability. 

He went in his room and fell asleep.  Good.  Finally some peace around here. 

His alarm went off, signaling time for church.  He cursed and shut it off.  Considering his previous mood, the fact he's told me never to wake him up unless the house is on fire, and my continued desire for peace and quiet: I l…

I am accountable

I just had, yet another, very disturbing discussion with Ron.  Somehow, he got started on parenting, what might happen if we had kids. 

I can't even type out what he said.  Someone would find us and give him a beating.  The boy is messed up.  Messed up.  He would make the worst father. 

Now, I never wanted kids.  I had a bellyful of toddlers working in the church nursery, you have to watch them every minute (9 months to 3 years).  Kids would have been nice, in the abstract, if I were normal and had some income producing potential, or a husband that could support me in a stay at home Mom position. 

None of that came to pass.  As I listened to Ron share his views, my first thought was "You need therapy" and the second "Thank God you never had kids".  My third "If I ever get pregnant I am giving it up for adoption". 

1.  Ron would be a toxic father. 
2.  I am not equipped for mothering.  My illness gets in the way and I can't drive.  Not to ment…

More excitement

Well, that was interesting. 

I really wish Ron had been wrong: "I think" he said "They're going to have another party".  He was right. 

They moved the trampoline right outside my bedroom, I heard the kids but I didn't have the soccer ball going into the wall, either. 

So, screaming kids right outside the bedroom for 4 hours or so.  Adults sitting around, laughing, for another hour.  Then loud polka music as everyone left.  We called the police on that one.

I pray this is not a pattern of more parties, they had 3 just this month.  One may have been the husband/father's birthday party. 

We have severe weather inbound tonight/tomorrow so that should help a lot.  We are also getting a dramatic cold front.  So, if nothing else, I ought to be able to get a nap on Monday. 

Today, just like yesterday, I woke up at 6 AM.  My body informed me it would not be going back to sleep, and I have that borderline bladder infection thing, it's better but I still…

Good Quality of sleep.

I could take a couple different tones.  I could take a positive, negative, neutral, Bible-thumping, or frustrated tone. 

First, allow me to wish you a Merry Christmas. 

God gave me a good quality of sleep last night.  I woke up feeling pretty energized, amazing, considering. 

They started the party at 8, and it went until 1 AM.  The cleanup (complete with Spanish music played at some volume) took another hour.  My earplugs muffled most of that. 

If we lived in one of the haughty neighborhoods he would be in big trouble, not just for the party, but the conglomeration of pop-up awnings, covered with black plastic sheeting.  It looks like a refugee camp.  A few residents cover their back patio with tarps in the winter, but nothing like this.  It looks terrible.  We do have some serious rain forecast Sunday, it will be interesting to see if they withstand "real" weather. 

I lay on my fold-out mattress on the computer room floor, very uncomfortable, listening to streaming Ch…

Blown out

So, today I donned one of my new padded bras (sad! That a man nearly 70 years old!), one of my performance t-shirts (generic brand), and jeans, and off to the warehouse. 

We didn't know how sales had been.  If "we" could drive, "we" would have gone to work first, had a look, and then gone to the warehouse.  Non-driving, we had to just go to the warehouse. 

Things had been pretty dead so we shopped accordingly.  Imagine my surprise when I got back to "Blown out" (stealing the term from the other vendors) vending machines!  I was pretty busy stocking there, for a good while. 

The bra was pretty "invisible" to me, but I think the band is a little big.  I will try on another in the smaller size and see if I like it better.  It did the job, that's all that matters, and if the guy was staring again he didn't get to see anything. 

I just automatically assume all men are decent; all women are conniving backstabbers.  That's been my l…

Apple cart

Gotta love the insurance company:
Hello Heather, Thank you for providing proof of fascia repaired. The non-renewal has been removed. The policy is active. We do  notice that window appears to be damaged. Please confirm it’s not damaged. " [quiet scream] So, I did.  Hm.  Now everything's blue.  Oh, well.  I slept OK, woke up, shower and God time, off to see Doc.  We agreed that, in spite of everything, none of the events of the last 3 months had upset the apple cart, and that was a very good thing.  Hey, I fixed it.  Then we met my aunt and uncle for lunch.  I had woken with a nasty headache, which finally abated a little before I saw Doc, but I didn't get my appetite back until we were actually at the restaurant.  Feeling slightly daring, no doubt from my profligate use of caffeinated headache pills (usage approved by Doc), I ordered the chicken strips.  Normally, chicken strips plus my medication equal misery.  However, I was OK, probably because I had French fries in …


Last night I had one of my departure dreams.  In the dream, I'm either checking out of a hotel (last night), going to the airport, or actually getting ready to board my transit to somewhere else.  I often think the departure represents the rapture. 

God knows the times are here, all the signs are present - Christians are being persecuted, signs and wonders, etc.  Read Matthew 24 for more. 

Anyway, I was pretty well rested, as rested as I get.  I got my shower and my God Time.  Ron shut the laundry room door as we left. 

We went to work.  I was annoyed - the driver had strapped Ron's walker into place, halfway back in the van.  The van seats about 10 ambulatory passengers and a couple of wheelchairs.  We picked up a very large man who kept grabbing onto Ron's walker as he moved around the vehicle. 

1.  Touching a mobility device is like touching a person.  And should have the same social conventions.  "I'm sorry" at the least for grabbing it. 

2.  This gu…

A day so awful...

Sometimes, I have a day so awful I don't even want to write about it. 

The migraine woke me up in the middle of the night, and I finally got up at 2 AM to address it with OTC pain pills.  I couldn't even think of a shower, much less God Time, and nearly vomited on the way to work.  Then I got to do all my heavy stocking and lifting duties while I suffered. 

We had a ride with one of the worst drivers in the fleet, he is very confused, a timid driver (very bad in Houston), and nearly got me shot 3 years ago shouting at a gangbanger who then pulled a gun and pointed it at my head.  Needless to say, I did not relax until my feet were on the ground at work. 

I did all the aforementioned work, with the headache.  I will say the machines looked good when I left. 

You have probably met one of those personalities in your travels.  One of those very stubborn, independent, no-ones-going-to-tell-me-what-to-do types.  I married one.  We also had one as a driver. 

He was sick.  Pray I…

P-trap saga

I slept pretty well last night, happy about that. 

I got up early, did my God Time, took my shower.  For me, when I'm depressed taking my shower is the hardest thing ever. 

I had a pretty nasty headache so I couldn't take my morning meds, I would have vomited.  I wrote a few chapters in "Broken" if you are reading it (serial online romance). 

I cleaned out under and above the bathroom sink so the plumber would have room to work. 

The plumber came.  He was very nice.  He spent a fair amount of time under there, only to tell me the P-trap had been glued into place (not appropriate plumbing) and had to be completely removed.  Had it been done properly, he would have just unscrewed it.  Glued into place, it will have to be cut out and replaced.   That will cost us, minimum, another $300. 

Not Happy about that.  I don't blame the plumber, but the flipper who had the house before us and the truly incompetent and/or bribed home inspector who examined our house prio…

When both the carts are empty...

I was sure it would be quiet Thursday night.  But they had the guy over - yelling in Spanish, in the backyard, again, some kind of church service. 

I am 98% sure another neighbor broke it up by firing a gun into the air.  Several shots.  Each time.  Did it twice.  Needless to say that broke up the party quick.  You can bet I would never call in a complaint on that guy. 

I will save my opinions.  I will say, though, when this guy behaves the rest of the neighborhood is nice and quiet.  He can't seem to understand he is "that guy".  The one all the other neighbors detest.   No one else has the loud parties.   One lady across the street called them "trash".  The Bible says not to do that so I won't, but I often wish they'd move.  They seem to be decompensating. 

Then I wonder what else might move in?  Someone with a pathological fear of cats, for instance.  Or just hates cats.  Someone who just would be a worse fit than the ones we've got already. 

Packages are my job

So far, I've gotten a decent amount of sleep.  I'm still battling pretty bad anxiety.

When I got up to pee in the middle of the night, Torbie had left the dryer, so I shut it. 

I "slept in" and got up at 7:30.  Then I did my God Time and Ron and I went to the pet store.  I bought 25# of cat food, Ron drank coffee at the coffee shop.  I did run down some Kolaches for myself, and a couple of diet sodas for tomorrow. 

I had a lot of packages for our ride home, but managed them all by myself.  The drivers job is driving.  My job is packages. 

We came home and I took my meds, then a nap.  I tried to sleep as long as I could because we have a very early pickup tomorrow - 3-something in the morning.  Since we live within 1/2 mile of a bus stop with very good service, we get a little better service on our hours of service. 

We have some construction projects nearby: they are building a new Burger King, and also a detention pond for our subdivision - an additional one.  G…

A fruitless hunt for the bleach pen

Pretty tired today. 

It didn't start out bad: I got to sleep in and got up around 7.  AM.  I took my shower and did my God Time later. 

We went to Walmart and bought some things for the house.  I couldn't find a bleach pen anywhere, and I looked!  I had Ron in the kiddie cart and he made some very appreciative comments. 

Ron has gotten much better at appreciation, the last couple years. 

I try to reciprocate. 

We went to work and spent some hours stocking.  We are about out of inventory, now.  We'll get more.  I drank a lot of diet soda which I believe fueled my anxiety, which was pretty bad tonight. 

First, though, we had to get home.  Our driver took a lot of "shortcuts" which resulted in a much longer duration.  Hint: never take a route past an elementary school at 3 PM. 

When we got home, I ate one of my burgers from yesterday and took my meds.  What I had left for the day, that is.  I take some in the morning, with food, and then more in the evening w…

It's just that hard

It was a busy day. 

I got up and did my God Time.  I watched a little TV, ate, took my meds, took a nap. 

I got up and took my shower.  Now, a couple times a week I wash my hairbrush in the sink, in warm water, with soap, because it gets greasy.  I did that today. 

Imagine how I felt when I couldn't get the sink to "unstop" and drain.  That's right, I have a useless bathroom sink right now.  So many things can go wrong in a home, I never even dreamed. 

I am happy that none of these problems happened when our money was tight, back the last couple years.  Not that it's "loose" but we can afford a minor repair. 

I wonder how long it will last, when we can get a guy to come out and fix it.  The plumber we like said they can't come out until Monday. 

Can I live without my bathroom sink until then?  Yes.  It will prove inconvenient, but livable.  It's not the toilet, thank God, or the shower. 

But it's still a PITA home repair, in addition …

I am tired

Whew, long day. 

Yesterday I got up, did my shower and God Time, got Ron up, and watched church on the computer.  Ron may not want to go, but is surprisingly faithful about watching it on the computer.  He likes to drink while he does so but does not get ugly. 

I tried to take a nap, but had a problem.  Biscuit was hogging all the covers.  Sure, I could have shoved him on the floor, or yanked them out from under him, but I didn't want to disturb him.  He was so cute.  He slitted his eyes at me, purring.  He knew. 

I found a wool blanket, my trusty red wool one from 2009, it only cost me $10.  It is warm, soft, and not very itchy.  I used it. 

Later on, I figured out the parental Christmas presents.  Not easy.  As you may know, when you're an adult with living parents what do you get them?  They already have everything, they're not poverty stricken, they can get anything they want.  I was happy with my final selections. 

I was even happier, while digging around on Amaz…


I don't want to be --- First, an adjustment to make for easier typing on the keyboard.  It tends to rattle when I really get going and I don't want to wake Ron. 

#6 is like a shaken up soda.  For much of the time, they are very quiet, with some exceptions.  Then, on party night, they erupt into barrio-style low-class behavior. 

I have been told, repeatedly, any kind of party, even a "child's birthday", that is held late at night, with drinking, is really just an adult drinking party.  That's what we had last night.  I think it was Christmas related. 

Their guests seemed even more trashy than usual, shouting, screaming, tackling each other into my siding and using it to rebound soccer balls towards the goal.  They forget that is someone's home.  They don't apparently care that it is someone else's property.  And people are trying to sleep, on the other side of the wall. 

Now, if this were happening at 1-3 PM, I would try to be understanding and…

Devil man

#6, 3rd night in a row:
1.  Devil man screaming in their yard, I presume church.
2.  last night, talking loudly outside at 11PM.
3.  Loud party with screaming kids and kicking the ball into my house again..  Came and banged on the door like a bill collector at one point looking for their ball.  I didn't answer.  Ron finally talked to the father & explained we have to work tomorrow.

YOUTUBE is no longer allowing video capture blogs which means no vid blogs.  SUCKS almost as much as typing with one hand.

12/10 blog


Video Blog


Not behave video blog

Ron did not behave during taping! You are warned.

Shooters and gun control.

Now time to put my splint on. :)

Video blog


Video blogs are back.


Off whiskey

Yesterday we did our big supply run.  All was well, until I dropped a case of water while moving it from one cart, to another.  I tried to grab it as it fell, only managing to "catch" my left index finger as the case crashed to the ground with a good 40 pounds of inertia.  The water was fine.  My finger wasn't even that stiff, at first, but I was in a lot of pain a few hours later. 

The finger looks fine and it moves OK, albeit stiffly. 

Today I bought a splint and have worn it all day, that's helped a lot.  I seem to be OK typing but if it hurts again  (more), I will put the splint on.  I intend to wear the splint at all times unless I am blogging or washing my hands. 

I'm still depressed, got a lot of attention from Torbie last night which was fun.  While at the store today, I got Biscuit plenty of his favorite food.  I only spent about $50, including $14 worth of cat food.  I bought a lot of TV dinners. 

Ron is "off" whiskey for a while and drink…


I jammed a finger at work today.  It's pretty stiff and painful so no blog tonight.