For your benefit of anyone who might need this, let me define abuse, biblically, and biblical grounds for divorce:
All abuse, biblically, is physical. Let me repeat that, abuse is not simply the act, biblically, it’s the motivation. Abuse is any behavior that is motivated by hatred, resulting in the harm of others — mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually, sexually or financially. Abusive behavior is a means to a diabolical end — coercion, control and manipulation of another, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually or financially. All abuse leaves scars, on the inside — the soul.
God judges all abuse the same, because the root of all abuse is hatred: “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him” (1 John 3:15). To abuse in any way, is the equivalent of committing or attempting to commit murder — physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, sexually or financially. That is why an abuser, as the Bible states, “Has no eternal life residing in him.” In other words, “You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned” (Titus 3:11).
The abuser is not and cannot be a covenant parter, or joined together by God with a child of God (2 Corinthians 6:14, Jeremiah 29:11). The abuser is a murdering spirit, a Judas, devoted to flesh and delights in evil, therefore an abuser does not love a spouse or God, nor is their depraved indifference biblically qualified to be a biblical covenant parter: “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). This abominable behavior, abuse, in a covenant marriage, is a behavioral problem, sin behavior, and not a marriage problem. Marriage counseling is not for an abusive spouse, nor does it fix an abusive spouse any more than taking a car to the mechanic shop fix a drunk driver.
Abuse is a behaviorally murderous, temple destroying, rebellious sin that God hates with a passion: “The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion” (Psalm 11:5). Abuse and its murderous intent, violates and deserts the marriage covenant (Ephesians 5:21-33)— behaviorally, and is biblical grounds for divorce. Abuse not only deserts the marriage covenant but affirms a dark and depraved heart, and an unbelieving spirit of the antichrist. Abuse causes God to divorce himself from the unrepentant abuser by turning them over to a reprobate mind (Romans 1:28-32). The dark, depraved and unrepentant heart of the abuser is also biblical grounds for the church and the entire body of Christ to divorce themselves from the abuser (1 Corinthians 5:11, 2 Timothy 3:1-5).
Abuse, like adultery, is marital treason, and behaviorally deserts the marriage covenant agreement. The biblical remedy for an injured spouse of marriage covenant desertion is divorce, confirmed by a certificate of divorce in the Bible and a divorce decree today. The legal nullification of the marriage through a divorce decree restores the right to remarry, and is stated in both the biblical certificate of divorce and today’s divorce decree. The only remarriage that prohibited in the Bible refers to “putting away,” or separation without a certificate of divorce.
Upholding a marriage to an abuser over the wellbeing of the victim is an abomination: “How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked” (Psalm 82:2-4).
To advocate for marriage counseling to fix an abuser or to biblically obligate an abused spouse to stay in an abusive marriage, for any reason, whether the abuse is physical, emotional or mental, is a demonic tool used by the apostate — someone who deliberately and completely abandons their Christian faith.
I didn’t say it, the Bible said it. If you disagree with or dislike the truth, take it up with God, but don’t try to spin some toxic, false translation of scripture to accommodate religious cult logic that promotes martyrdom as a part of a biblical marriage covenant agreement, or God’s will. The Bible is clear, “the wages of sin is death” not a spouse: “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7). Divorce doesn’t end an abusive marriage, abuse does. Divorce confirms the marriage covenant was deserted by abuse and nullified the marriage covenant.
Source: https://www.facebook.com/100044579857544/posts/pfbid09yyepKmkrvnoa2DmExmxqdJqDvCiLaHWDV28gBFC64WdoEo4Pz2BsL47NhEsiD5sl/?app=fbl
My head about exploded because "the church", as a rule, called me a selfish bitch for trying to set boundaries with Ron.
The world had no problem calling me a victim when Ron died and I opened the secrets. The church? No.
People I love and respect still see Ron as a victim in spite of me telling them he was verbally and physically abusive.
