Showing posts from September, 2008

Hell in a handbasket

This last month, I've faced a very ill husband, increased job duties, a hurricane, and most recently a vicious cold/sinus infection. How do I do it?

Well, I have a bad habit of the martyr syndrome. Drop everything; don't take any time for myself, gee, why am I getting depressed?

It's a classic setup for caregiver burnout ( I'm trying to be vigilant in preventing it, but Ron has no one but me. I have to prevent burnout because Ron has no one but me.

What am I doing?
I have a small, easy knitting project by the bed. I love the colors of the varegated yarn. I do one row every time I go to bed. MP3 player. Right now I'm listening to "Blessed be the Name of the Lord" - I've also cranked a lot of Skillet too. I'm working on a large knitting project for myself. The last time I did that was 1994. I take it everywhere. It's nearly done. It makes me happy. I've been craving beef re…


One of the things I'm doing is listening to music. Specifically,Skillet. I have "Comatose" on repeat right now.

Here are the lyrics:
I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to You
Tell me that You will listen
You're touch is what i'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing You
ComatoseI'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live,
I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep,
I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I hate living without You
Dead wrong to ever doubt You
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore YouOh how I thirst for You
Oh how I need You
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna…

POD envy

I wondered what I'd write about after going through a big, bad, category 2 hurricane. Not much to say about the storm, really. Big gusts of wind, rain, no flooding thank you Jesus, all done. Wait for utilities and transportation to come back online.

Since I have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I can't drive. I'm incapable of processing the infomation I'd need to drive safely, so I don't drive. My husband is blind, he can't drive. We depend on public transportation.

Normally, I'm fine with that. I meet fascinating people, see interesting sights, and get plenty of motivation to stick to my low-carb diet. So far I've lost just under 46 pounds. That's a lot of lard!

I don't usually see myself as limited or disabled in any way. I've got a good life and I enjoy it. I can provide my husband with the care he needs, help him run his business, and take care of my adorable 2 cats.

However, after the storm. No paratransit service unless you were a d…

Hurricane kit product reviews

OK, I'm back up and running now. I've got running water (and a boil order, but at least I can bathe), electricity (cold food! laundry!), phone and internet.

As I disgustedly tossed out a few items, I thought "Other people should know these items SUCK". Other items were quite useful and bear mentioning

The good
1. RCA Pearl MP3 player. Excellent tunes for the worst of the storm, AND an excellent FM reciever. As I discarded 2 radios that either got lousy reception, or ate batteries for breakfast, I was consistently impressed with the excellent quality of my MP3 player.
2. Rayovac Heavy Duty and Alkaline brand batteries. They lasted forever and were well worth the money spent. I was very impressed with their performance in my LED lantern, I didn't have to change the batteries for 4 days.
3. Discovery brand 1 led lantern. It cost less than $10 at the camping store. It runs on 4 D cell batteries and it was very efficient. I was able to knit by its' lig…

Hunker Down

I am getting so sick of this phrase.

"We're all hunkered down now." Poor Ed Emmet. He had no idea the monster he was creating when he first used the phrase a few days ago.

Big gusts now and then. We've lost power once, came back on almost instantly. I lost internet once but it came back in a minute or two.

I'm thirsty and figuring out what to drink. I think I'll get into my disaster kit sodas and have a diet decaf.

Rock you like a Hurricane

It's overcast and the wind is picking up. 12 hours before landfall.

I cleaned out the tub and filled all my empty pop bottles with water. I stuffed as many as possible in the fridge. I'm in the process of cooking up the raw meat and freezing it. Ron asked me to wait on the chicken until later.

I've got 30 gallons, plus 5, plus probably 5 more bottled, plus the whole bathtub. I think we're good in the water department. Oh, yeah, and my 5 gallon mopping the floor bucket is going for "toilet flush" water. Just in case. We did call our utility district and their pumps run on electricity, no backups. Ack.

My hands are shaking, but I'm taking my pills. God knows I have plenty of them! I'm going to try to take a nap.

Something bad WILL happen

That's my motto: Something bad will happen. You can search my blog for "Disaster Kit" entries. Suffice to say, I have a fairly extensive disaster kit, especially given my budget. It's a nice feeling to have when a hurricane's about to make a direct hit on your city.

Ron and I each have a small, battery operated fan. I actually have two. We've got our music players and extra batteries. A battery operated TV. I've got flashlights and battery operated lanterns. Batteries to power all of the above and then some. Hand crank radios and flashlights. Small battery operated radios.

Food: I've got loads of canned food, easily enough for a month. Lidded, 5-gallon buckets for storing water. Ron's got plenty of shakes because I always assume a hurricane's headed our way. I told him on Tuesday, "Assume this will get us, what do you need?" and we went and got it. Plenty of shakes. I needed more pills so we got them.

My computer'…

Goal 1 - Walmart size 12; 9-6-08

I'm in shock today.

Let me explain. Today was a fairly normal day. Get up, go to work. Worked hard. Went to Walmart, something I never do on a Saturday but Ron needed more shakes. The only palatable foods to him are Atkins Shakes, Strawberry and Dark Chocolate flavors.

He wanted to look at boom boxes. We did. Then I got his shakes and we checked out.

Now it's my turn. I noticed the waistband of my size 14's was getting fairly baggy, and the back pocket turns itself inside out when I take my work keys out. Time to at least try on a pair of 12's. I figured, maybe they won't fit.

I did not expect them to fit in a way where I could wear them in public. I didn't.

The first pair performed as expected. I developed a disgusting "muffin top" of fat pushed over the waistband. YUCK. Discard pile.

Then I tried on the bootcut. Oh. My. They fit like a dream. They have a little bit of stretch, in addition to the 98% cotton. I hate synthetic fibers…

What do I want for my birthday?

It's a good question. This is probably one of the only years in my life where I've been properly medicated. I can't think of much.

Here're a few random ideas:
Purple 100% cotton tops (no polos, please) in 14-10 size range. Long, 100% cotton nightgowns with short sleeves or sleeveless, in 12-14 size range. I'm not a PJ gal. Gift card for so I can buy tunes (like $10 or so).Rose or Jasmine-y Bubble bath Can't think of anything else except maybe Walmart card for $20 or so - I could use it to buy jeans as I drop sizes. That's it!

185.5 - Popeye's

I lost another pound! It's great to see that I can still lose weight while under a lot of stress.

Ron still says all his food tastes terrible. He can, at least, drink some of the Atkins Shakes. He says the dark chocolate and strawberry flavors are "good". That's HUGE for him. Everything else tastes so horrible he can barely gag down a bite or two.

Yesterday I realized - yet again - how horribly this antibiotic has affected him. He could barely pull his cart, much less load it (so I loaded and pulled the cart). He seems 20 years older. It's scary for me, I had hoped he'd be more vigorous by now. He's so weak. We can't even walk as fast as we used to. He can only move pretty slowly, gripping my elbow as I support him.

But I tell myself it's a matter of time. I'm still going to love him, no matter what. Heck, he came back from the dead for me! When he died at the scene of the accident, God showed him a scene that happened 2.5 year…

Newest Downloads

I bought Ron "Still the One" by Orleans and downloaded it to his MP3 player. It's kind of our song.

These aren't in order, just the order they went to my MP3 player:
1. "Whiskey You're the Devil" - Clancy Brothers - great song for someone with FAS
2. "Wherever we Go" - Newsboys (Christian)
3. "Praise you in this storm" - Casting Crowns - also Christian
4. "Newsboys Mega Mix" - Christian
5. "Savior" - Skillet (Christian Metal)
6. "Never Alone" - Barlow Girl
7. "Paradise City" - Gun's N Roses - not Christian
8. "Strong Tower" - Kutless - Christian
9. "Cheri Desis Potpourri Congo" - by Spirit of the Serengeti - lots of happy native music
10. "Ainda Que" - Afro - cool steel drum percussion and flute
11. "Sofa" by Spirit of the Serengeti - lots of cool percussion, singing, flute.

That's it for today!

Make it a good one.

Heather Cleans

I'm about to start picking up around the house. I thought it might be fun to share as I go along.

11:02 - began hunt for large plastic garbage bags.
11:03 - not under sink. Lint rolled some white cat hair on black sofa
11:04 - found contractor bags by back sliding glass door.
11:05-11:13 - updated blog, emptied trash can by my chair, found lunch-box cooler by my chair - returned to top of fridge, replaced cold packs in freezer. Collected several empty aluminum cans, placed into recycling bag.
11:14 - found 5 more cans in computer room, placed into "can bag".
11:15-18 - Found dirty dish under couch, put in sink. Picked up several empty Walmart bags and placed in "bag-bag" inside pantry. Discovered "Bathroom Cleaner"/Roach killer under couch. Returned to bathroom. Began to lint-roll cat hair off of couch.
11:19 - updated blog
11:20-11:24 - Lint-rolled white cat hair off black couch. Used 14 sheets. Returned lint-roller to "home" in organ…