Well, I have a bad habit of the martyr syndrome. Drop everything; don't take any time for myself, gee, why am I getting depressed?
It's a classic setup for caregiver burnout (http://women.webmd.com/caregiver-recognizing-burnout). I'm trying to be vigilant in preventing it, but Ron has no one but me. I have to prevent burnout because Ron has no one but me.
What am I doing?
- I have a small, easy knitting project by the bed. I love the colors of the varegated yarn. I do one row every time I go to bed.
- MP3 player. Right now I'm listening to "Blessed be the Name of the Lord" - I've also cranked a lot of Skillet too.
- I'm working on a large knitting project for myself. The last time I did that was 1994. I take it everywhere. It's nearly done. It makes me happy.
- I've been craving beef recently, not canned but fresh cooked beef. I bought a pound of stew meat. I'll cook it in the crock-pot tonight and have delicious simmered beef. Ron can't eat it, it'll probably depress him somewhat, but I need to eat nourishing foods. I won't feel sorry for it, either.
- I have the weekend off, I'm doing things I love, not things "I have to do".
- Don't feel responsible for Ron's moods/conditions. He's sick. It's awful. I let him vent and tell him I wish I could help, but I don't allow myself to feel responsible.
- Talk to family and friends. If I try to do the Atlas thing and carry all this on my own, I will drop it in a spectacular and unforgettable manner.
- Take my medication faithfully, along with vitamins and supplements as needed.
- Try to rest every day if possible - nap.
So, when things are going to hell in a handbasket, don't be suprised to find me eating peanuts, watching a zombie movie, and knitting. It's the best thing I can do!