Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Walmart and Indian Food

I didn't sleep well last night, Ron kept moaning and waking me up. 

After we were both up, I asked him about a pain clinic, and got a resounding no.  He wants to handle things his way, even if (implied) that means keeping me up sometimes.  OK. 

I took my shower and did my usual morning routine.  We went to Walmart, but our ride was late and I didn't have very long. 

I still managed to crush it, even remembering the toilet paper and cat litter.  I didn't get a lot of food, I had already done that a few days ago.  I even had time to make my deposit, so my auto-pays can clear.  Awesome. 

We went home and put everything away.  Ron wanted an insane amount of AAA batteries, for his wireless transmitter headphones.  He doesn't like rechargables.  He paid for them. 

I didn't "charge" him for the Atkins shakes I bought him.  I just told him the total for his other things.  I am happy to buy him shakes because he actually drinks them, and that is wonderful. 

The antibiotics and the protein shakes have really cleared up Ron's leg, it's almost totally healed.  He will, of course, have another scar, but what's another. 

The antibiotics also cleared up the jaw infection Ron had, causing him pain.  So we got a 2 for one on that.  Funny how God worked that. 

I worry sometimes one of these ulcers is going to get out of control and Ron will lose a leg. 

I took a nap, and woke up before my alarm.  Ron wanted to go out for Indian food, there's a really good place near the house with very reasonable prices. 

When we got there, he ordered the goat kedai.  It is goat cooked in a spicy sauce.  He kept trying to get me try it; I reminded him, I don't do spicy.  I stuck with my chicken masala.  It was very good.  I got a double order of pan bread because I was greedy and I love it.  It's very good, fresh and hot.  It's pretty much my big carb cheat. 

I will not be weighing myself tomorrow! 

I noticed the median near the restaurant was empty; it was empty the other day.  When I have done handouts there it has been insane.  I was literally panting for breath running up and down the median.  I am thinking about doing another one there; I have plenty of Bibles. 

Worst case I could take them on the bus, if the median is occupied go somewhere else.  I have a couple of backup locations along the same bus route.  Safe to say I have actually handed out Bibles all up and down that bus route. 

Our ride was a little late but that was OK.  He was really happy to see the bag of candy.  I guess he hadn't gotten his lunch yet.  We had a straight trip home. 

Ron wanted to let Baby Girl outside, loose.  I told him he could, she was his cat, but he would not be letting "my" cats out under any circumstance.  He got her in his room, shut the door, and opened the window.  She totally ignored the open window, and, at one point, tried to paw open the door to get back into the house.  I shut the window and she went over to it.  I opened it again, she went out and sat on the garbage can for a while.  I left them to it and did a load of laundry. 

While the laundry was running, I bagged up more candy (candy + booklet) and went in Ron's room to put it in the bag on the back of his wheelchair.  Baby Girl was back on the garbage can, staring into the room.  I gestured at her and she came in, and I shut the window.  I'm sure she had fun outside, peeing to mark her territory and all, but I don't feel comfortable letting the cats out like that, at all. 

When I went back outside, both of the other cats were waiting by the door.  They knew Baby Girl was up to something they couldn't have. 

I keep thinking about poor Gravy dragging in with his mangled leg.  I never want to experience that again; having to make the choice to put a cat down.  Awful.  Frosty and Bubba were pretty much already gone, I just hastened the process, but with Gravy I had to make the choice to end his life.  It took a terrible toll on me.  I still feel bad about it: at the end of the day I believe I did the right thing but it was a very tough call.  One I don't want to make again. 

I ran the load of clothes and put them in the dryer, then I bagged up more candy while they dried, and I ran the washer on the cleaning cycle.  The manual says do it every month, so I try to do it on the first.  It's not the first, but close enough.  The clothes finished, but they're still damp, so I turned up the heat on the dryer and put it in for another 40 minutes.  It is mainly Ron's pants and shirts, and some of my underwear.  If they aren't dry after this I will finish them tomorrow. 

The washer is easy, when it's done I just open the lid.  Nothing to dry!  Except the washer, let it air dry.  I use the washer cleaner tablets.  One brand was suggested by the manufacturer, so I use that.  We spent a lot of money on this pair, I want to take care of them. 

Tomorrow we go to work, stock, etc.  Ron already paid me, which enabled me to make my deposit today (although it wasn't that big), and buy my stuff at Walmart. 

I'm just staying up long enough to finish the laundry and then go to bed. 

Bad night

Ron woke me up several times moaning in pain.  Guessing he had a lot of pain so I didn't yell at him.  I did get to sleep with Biscuit and Torbie so that was awesome.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Itchy

I got up at 7 this morning. I tried to sleep late, but that's all I got.  So I got up.  I did my God Time an took a shower.  I got online for a while.  I decided I would go to the drugstore near my house. 

I got my bus pass and headed out the door.  Some other people were waiting at the other bus stop near my subdivision.  You might think I wouldn't like that, but I do.  The more people ride the bus the more likely we are to keep it, and get better service.  Besides, I have seldom had problems with people riding the bus.  People in cars driving by and splashing me with water - yes. 

I didn't wait long.  The bus driver was nice.  I rode for a couple of minutes and got off, walked to the drugstore.  There was a homeless guy in a wheelchair begging outside the door.  I could tell by the way he held his legs he wasn't paralyzed, and he had pretty good muscle tone.  A really paralyzed or even partially paralyzed person has terrible muscle tone, like Ron.  They also get a mottled look due to poor circulation.  So I could tell he was faking, he was an able bodied guy in a wheelchair he stole.  It really pissed me off.  He started to approach, took one look at my face, and backed off. 

I went in and did some shopping.  I bought an aromatherapy roll on: rosemary and peppermint.  Years ago, when Ron was in a coma, I did aromatherapy on him with rosemary and peppermint.  It's very invigorating.  I figured it would be good to try now. 

I also got some snacks.  I wandered around for a while and checked out.  One guy was asking everyone for money to help make up his total, on shaving supplies.  I can't recall the last time I asked strangers for money (barring my go fund me).   I didn't contribute.  It's been my experience that guys like that generally make more than I do. 

Like the customers at work, make 3x what I do, always asking for "something free" and never buy anything. 

I paid for my stuff and crossed the street, but missed the bus.  That wasn't as bad as you might think: I knew I had missed it.  I knew I didn't have to hurry.  I could take my time.  So that wasn't too bad. 

I went to the bus stop and tried one of my cookies.  They were awful.  I tried feeding them to the birds but even the birds didn't seem to want them.  I ate my chips and drank my Sprite Zero.  The bus came.  It was the same driver who had brought me.  I thought that was funny.  So did he. 

I got home pretty fast.  I saw a lot of mosquitoes but they didn't bother me until about 20 minutes ago.  I took a nap.  Torbie joined me. 

Ron stole her with treats, and when I woke up I gave him a joking hard time about it.  I really love to sleep with Torbie.  I got up. 

He asked if I would like to go to the Taqueria.  That sounded fun so we went.  We had a good time, he only drank one beer.  He had eaten before he went so he didn't get obnoxious.  We had a little confusion on a cab coming home but we got home. 

I decided it was time to trim Ron's beard.  He wanted to put it off again but it was never going to happen if we kept doing that.  We got the shaver, extension cord, etc.  I took him out in the catio and shaved him, using a flashlight to check my work (it was pretty dark by now).  He felt it and said it was fine, so we finished up and went inside. 

A mosquito got inside when Ron and I came back, and it's been biting me and flying around my head, in a very annoying fashion.  I may have killed it, I sure tried.  It's the little, mean, Anopheles mosquito.  They are the worst.  The big bodied ones are not so bad, but the anopheles have small bodies and short legs, and love to bite!  Ugh. 

I'm so itchy.  It got me on both shoulders and my collarbone.  I'm going to have to be very careful about changing out the water bowl the next couple days, because I'm sure it will lay eggs in there. 

It's 7:30.  I will probably stay up for another half hour and then go to bed.  I'm pretty tired.  For me, a pretty busy day.  I meant to do a load of laundry but that didn't happen.  But I did get out and have some fun.  It wasn't much - I didn't go to the Galleria, but I did get out and enjoy some fresh air and exercise. 

That's it for now.  More tomorrow. 

Pruning

Going to shave Ron tonight, down to about half an inch.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Fifteen cents

I had a hard time falling asleep last night but I finally dropped off.  I didn't get enough sleep. 

I woke up with Torbie!  That's always a good day right there.  I got up and took my shower. 

We went to work.  I had some work to do with snacks but I did it.  I helped Ron with his stocking.  I dealt with customers complaining.  You'd swear we raised prices to $1.50.  It's fifteen cents people, in ten years.  One guy basically told me he was happy buying sodas as long as (we were basically giving them away), but now that they'd gone up to 90 cents he was rethinking it.  It's fifteen cents.  Show me one business where prices stay the same, forever.  They don't.  Prices are always going up, even at Walmart.  And it's fifteen cents, in ten years.  Ugh. 

I was polite but a little exasperated.  I was glad to get back to my real job. 

I also mailed my health insurance.  Can't forget that.  $416.11.  It's not a very good plan, either. 

We left and came home.  I took a nap.  I had a hard time falling asleep (again) but I woke up with Torbie!  That's a very good day, waking up to her twice. 

She doesn't get in my lap much, hates being picked up, and doesn't follow me around.  But she sleeps with me and that's all I care about.  She's a good girl, a nice old lady who has earned her retirement.  She sure gets excited, though, when one of the other cats brings us a grasshopper, she loves to go after them and pat it with her paw.  She also loves to play with a rope Ron hung off the laundry room door.  It just hangs off a hook, she loves to bat it and chew it.  If I wiggle it, she walks away.  She wants to play with it by herself. 

Biscuit will let me pick him up and hug him, but he doesn't really sleep with me.  He gets into the bed when the alarm goes off, begging for his food.  He sleeps with Ron sometimes and lays in his lap. 

Baby Girl lays in Ron's lap, when he's in bed, but never spends any time with me.  She will let me pet her, that's about it.  But I give her (and Torbie) these special, expensive, freeze-dried fish treats.  The girls love them.  Baby Girl also lets me groom her when she has a mat. 

I got up, hit the snooze button a few times.  It's really hard to get up sometimes when I have Torbie in the bed.  I had a pretty nasty headache, what else is new?  So I took some Excedrin and drank a large glass of water.  We went to Denny's. 

While there, I started feeling really odd, and dizzy.  Like I had just gotten off some sort of spinning carnival ride.  That's the best analogy I can produce.  It's very unpleasant.  I feel off center, wobbly, and dizzy.  Mainly dizzy.  All side effects of pretty much everything I take.  I think it was something interacting with the Excedrin. 

I ate my meal; ham, sausage, pancakes (I didn't eat much of them), and a few bites of fruit salad (I brought that home).  I drank a lot of soda in the hopes it would 'Help" - diet soda of course.  Ron had a low carb meal of eggs, cheese, and bacon.  He is worried about his figure.  Me, not so much. 

But I'm still down below 240.  I'm very happy about that. 

Ron was cold so we left early and waited outside.  Our ride was on time and we had a straight trip home.  I decided to sit down for a while, did that, didn't feel much better.  I still feel fair to partly crappy. 

I ate a mint - spearmint, to see if that would help.  The mint is nice but didn't help the dizziness any.  Next up I will make some Raspberry Lemonade (sugarfree) and see how that helps.  I may just need to go to bed. 

Normally, lately, I don't have any real side effects of note other than the fatigue and brain fog.  And being fat.  I used to feel like this a lot, but it kind of phased out.  It's baaack! 

Ugh. 

I am feeling a little better now.  Thank God.  I am so glad I never had kids: my illness is very genetic.  My kids would have probably had migraines and bipolar.  If I had been able to get them on medication, they would have had to deal with all these side effects.  Not fun.  And I'd have had to watch them suffer.  Glad I never had kids. 

Biscuit is lying by my foot, as if to remind me "Mom, I often lie by your foot when you're on the computer.  You forgot to tell your readers about this."  Yup, I forgot.  He's a good boy, but it does make it hard to get up.  I am seated in a narrow area bordered by a piece of furniture and an exercise bike.  I have to step around him to exit. 

We have tomorrow off, and no trips, so it doesn't matter if I don't sleep tonight.  Have a good one! 

Baby Girl

In Ron's wheelchair.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

I'll take it

I had a nasty headache all day.  I woke up early, did my God Time, took my shower (not in that order), took a nap, woke up with a worse headache.  I did sleep with Torbie, which was a treat as always. 

She's a good cat.  Perfect for me.  She's low energy, loves to sleep, loves to get in a lap.  A typical older cat; perfect. 

I'm not going to say "my next cat, when I get one, will be older" but I strongly lean that way.  An older black cat would be perfect.  But I'm not looking for a cat. 

I think my ideal number of cats would be 2.  I have 3 now, so when Torbie dies I won't get another.  Biscuit and Baby Girl get on pretty well and I don't want to mess up that dynamic. 

Torbie did get me, today.  Trying to get in my lap, she slipped, lost her balance, and dug her claws into my thigh (I wasn't dressed), causing some injury.  I bled a little but not too bad.  I disinfected it with rubbing alcohol.  It's just a couple of scratches, a couple of inches long, so I'm not worried.  I'll keep it clean and disinfect it regularly, it will heal up just fine.  It's not in a public area so I'm not worried about scarring. 

Even if I did get a scar, I could look at it after Torbie is gone and think about how much she loved to get into my lap. 

Ron spent the whole day in bed, got up to drink a few times, take his antibiotic (he has an infection in his jaw, inside the bone). 

Oh, I'm down another couple pounds, to 237.  I am not trying to lose weight but I have drastically cut back on my consumption of diet soda and aspartame beverages.  Apparently I am seeing a benefit.  I mean, I had a carbohydrate binge at the Indian Restaurant last night, so it's not that. 

I'll take it.  It's a nice bonus.  I was just trying to get rid of chemicals, and headaches.  If I lose some weight, it's a bonus. 

We had rain today so maybe that's the source of my headache.  I get pretty tired of the headaches but I don't really blame the medication.  I never had a blog before my diagnosis but I remember a lot of headaches. 

I've always had a lot of headaches.  I used to get couple-day vomiting migraines in my teens, and probably even younger.  Not much fun. 

But I don't want to whine about headaches.  When he was up, Ron talked to me about tomorrow.  We will be pretty busy but that's not bad.  It gets Ron out of bed and moving around (mostly) sober. 

I hope you had a good one.  At least I slept last night, so that's a bonus.  It's always nice when Torbie sleeps with me.  I never mind her waking me up, or hogging the bed.  She's just so sweet. 

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Saturday

I woke up at about 1 AM with a migraine.  I tried to fight it off for a couple of hours, but finally gave up and took some Excedrin.  That effectively woke me up, at 3 AM, one hour before the alarm, dizzy and wobbly. 

I ate something, that helped.  I took a shower and did my God Time.  I got ready to go.  We went to the warehouse. 

My headache, happily, stayed gone from the minute I took the Excedrin, so I was good loading everything on the cart.  I didn't get a lot of snacks, though. 

We went to work and unloaded.  We found a coin jam in Soda #2.  Ron had forgotten to put a part back when he serviced the machine.  Ooops.  He fixed that while I brought everything in from outside, and put the drinks away in the fridge. 

Snacks didn't need a lot so I focused on helping Ron with drinks.  We weren't there for long before we went home. 

I was disappointed when we got home, to discover the #6 kids in the yard making racket.  I had really hoped I could get a nap.  But they went inside pretty quickly (unlike my childhood, they seem to only be good for about half an hour of outside play, unless they are having a party), so I decided to take a chance and lay down. 

I hadn't slept well two nights in a row and I had gotten up at 3 AM.  I figured pretty good odds I could stand a nap.  I got a quick one and got up. 

We went to the Indian place nearby.  I had Tikka Masala and Ron had Tandoori chicken.  They gave him big, boneless, chunks of chicken.  He was in love.  He gobbled it up with the cilantro/mint sauce while I ate my chicken.  I ordered pan bread with it, so good.  It was served to me so hot it almost burned me when I picked it up: perfect. 

We had a good meal.  I took my pills and drank a couple of Diet Cokes.  We came home. 

It was pill time.  I had to "do up" my pills for 2 weeks.  That means setting each day's medication, plus supplements, into a pills of the week organizer, times two.  8 prescriptions a day times 14 equals a lot of medication.  It takes a while to do it all up. 

It took forever, but I did it.  I closed them all up and then realized I hadn't done my antidepressant.  That would be a bad 2 weeks if I did.  I added the antidepressant and THEN closed them up. 

I drank my last diet root beer to celebrate. 

Now off to call my parents. 

Migraine

Woke up with a migraine.  Took something, worked on the pain but now I feel dizzy and weird (from Excedrin). 

Since Ron "let" me sleep, I need to go get our supplies and take them to work.  Should be an interesting day. 

Friday, February 23, 2018

I wasn't interested in "sorry"

I took my shower, did my God Time, and tried to take a nap.  Biscuit joined me.  Biscuit's a good little buddy. 

Not so little, actually.  About the time I drifted off, it was time to get up. 

I talked to Ron.  He admitted he had more than two servings of alcohol, and "more than 2 makes me crazy".  I wish he could remember that, but then I think about how many times I have eaten candy, knowing it could give me a migraine, ate it anyway.  So sometimes I think there's a learning curve. 

I told him he had better have a smaller portion tonight, because I needed my sleep and I would not tolerate being sleep deprived again.  2 nights ago my headache pills kept me up.  Last night Ron kept me up. 

You may wonder why I sleep so long, when I can.  You may wonder why I'm always trying to grab a nap when I can.  This is why.  So, when I get screwed out of my sleep, I have a reserve.  And it always happens, one way or another.  Noisy neighbor parties, medication interactions, or Ron. 

So we went out (sorry, I didn't read your comment until after we got back) to Denny's.  He got nachos.  He talked about trimming his beard, but changed his mind once we did get home.  I wasn't hateful or shrieky.  He apologized a couple of times.  I told him I wasn't interested in "sorry", I just wanted to sleep tonight, and he had to make sure that happened. 

He said he would.  So we'll see. 

I bought him some low carb shakes recently.  He needs the protein.  His leg still looks pretty awful.  He likes them, so he decided to use the shakes as mixers for his vodka.  Well, that's a mixed blessing.  If he really drinks some shake every time he drinks he will get a lot of shake.  But he's taking it with alcohol.  Ugh. 

So, I'll go to bed early tonight, hope to sleep OK.  Tomorrow, if he "lets" me sleep, we go get our supplies and drop them off at work. 

Now I'm off to check my email.  I hate wading through all the spam, I have had this email for 20 years.  It is a good address but I get so much crap it is unbelievable.  Yet I know my Dad probably sent me a message about his radiation treatment.  And I have to make sure my health insurance deposit cleared. 

Always something to do. 

Nothing else to do

Pretty pissed at Ron today.  Last night, he did his usual "drink and go to bed" routine.  Fine. 

I went to bed.  He proceeded to babble, shout, and yell, off and on, throughout the night.  I asked him to stop.  I begged him to stop.  I demanded he stop.  I figured out he was listening to a talking book, and talking back to it.  So I took out the cartridge.  That slowed him down a little but not much. 

All told, I asked him to stop over a dozen times.  Just as I'd fall asleep, he'd shout again and wake me up again. 

Unfortunately, I have the kind of system where I wake up at 7 every day, even if Ron, or #6, have kept me up all night.  I can't sleep in if someone's kept me up: I have to get up. 

So here I am on minimal sleep.  When I got up I found Ron in his room petting Torbie.  I walked in.  "Oh, Torbie is so cute" he said. 

"You kept me up all night yelling".  I replied, and told him about it.  He started cursing and then went and drank a couple of shots of vodka, and went to bed.  So now he will be fresh and rested tonight and I won't.  I actually asked him that, and he said "Well, I've got nothing else to do". 

I told him, and I will tell him again, if I do not get my sleep tonight I will not go and do the supply run tomorrow.  He will just have to be out of inventory until he can "let" me sleep again. 

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Torbie stole the blanket

I slept really badly last night, I couldn't drop off, or stay asleep. 

Torbie joined me in bed, though.  She hogged the blanket, so I was left lying alone in my strip of bed, cold, waiting for her to move so I could take my blanket back.  She finally did go get a drink of water or something, so I grabbed the blanket.  I made sure to spread it out so she could stretch out on it, and I could still have coverage.  She was a little irked when she came back but we worked it out. 

I woke up with another headache.  This one, I think, I can blame on the candy I ate last night.  I took some Excedrin.  I could have used the caffeine anyway.   

We went to work.  Things were pretty quiet.  People are starting to ask more questions about the price increase.  Soda sales are still pretty dead, though. 

Ron got ugly with me at one point and wondered why I got stiff with him.  I just walked away.  He will never accept he is verbally abusive - correction - rarely.  So it's better not to start another argument on top of him railing at me already. 

We finished up and went home.  I took a nap, slept pretty well, considering.  I had Torbie again. 

I got up and got ready to go to the store.  Ron had made a "short" trip to Walmart.  It was short alright.  By the time our driver arrived we only had 30 minutes.  Ron was very upset and agitated about this. 

In that time, I had to do my deposit for my health insurance and buy snacks for us.  I didn't even have time to go near the cat food.  I have plenty, anyway. 

I managed to get the important stuff.  I even had time to run to McDonald's and get a couple of burgers for dinner.  I like the double cheeseburgers, just ketchup. 

Ron reminded me I had forgotten "his" TV dinners, so I went back.  I saw a lot of people standing in line at the self-check, and an empty terminal.  I asked why they weren't using it.  "It only takes cash".  Great.  I only pay cash.  I was out of there in a minute. 

Our pickup was a little late but not overly so.  She was upset because they had routed her so she'd be getting off an hour late.  She was understandably upset.  She got us home, I put everything away. 

I ate a pint of ice cream and some chips, in addition to one of my burgers.  I was feeling rather wrung out. 

Ron gave me tomorrow off - and I can take it.  Things are really quiet at work.  I think more people are getting smart with their budget and bringing their own food.  I know some people bring in food to sell, as well.  So, no work tomorrow. 

Ron let me have a look at his leg.  It looks ghastly but is healing.  He is taking antibiotics for a dental problem so that's bound to help.  If he'll let me, I plan to clean it tonight.  Peroxide and some spray disinfectant. 

I plan to go to bed early, but we'll see.  I just hope I can sleep tonight. 


Wednesday, February 21, 2018

By the time I figure this out...

I woke up at 4 AM with a headache.  It was pretty bad.  I tried to sleep it off but it wasn't happening.  I got up and took some Excedrin, went back to bed. 

I tried to sleep, but couldn't, so I got up.  I fed Biscuit and took care of my personal care routine.  I am finally starting to remember to take my magnesium citrate. 

Without going into way too much detail, I do see benefits from it, but not really with the headaches, which is why I bought it.  But it does help with other issues so I'll keep taking it.   It seems to make me more alert so I try to take it at the start of the day. 

I also take calcium citrate.  I don't need bone problems.  I would love it if Ron took calcium, but he took another route: he eats antacids.  They have a lot of calcium so I guess he is getting it. 

I also take a multivitamin.  It has iron because I do not eat enough red meat.  I also have a pretty heavy blood loss every month, so I need a supplement. 

We can't forget the antioxidants.  I started taking an "eye" vitamin because I have a lot of screen time, a beta carotene, an A vitamin, and good old vitamin E.  I noticed a big difference in my scars when I started taking Vitamin E consistently.  And Vitamin C of course. 

Herbs: Feverfew (supposed to be for migraine prevention, I'm about to flunk it though), Olive leaf, and occasionally Oregano oil when I'm around someone with "cooties".  I take the last in a capsule.  Years ago, someone sold me a bottle of oregano oil, but I couldn't get it down.  It was a horrible experience every time and I decided I'd rather be sick! 

So, I ate my protein bar - I've found the "Salted Caramel" flavor isn't bad, and took my pills.  I did my God Time, for a change.  I took a shower.  My headache was pretty much gone.  The rain front came through and dropped a little rain.  I ate a couple of hot dogs and took my pills. 

I took a nap, with Torbie!  I was very excited to sleep with her.  She's such a sweet lump.  I very carefully positioned myself in bed so I wouldn't disturb her.  I slept with her for a couple of hours, woke up with her on my foot.  Awww.  I also woke up with another nasty headache. 

I throw rocks at my medication, but I really don't know what the hell is going on with the headaches.  They just hurt.  I got up and took some more Excedrin, then lay down with Torbie again.  I got up after about 20 minutes, when the pills started to work. 

I did a load of laundry and finished hanging up the previous load.  I took out the trash, checked the mail, and brought in the trash can. 

I noticed an empty protein shake.  I guess Ron is drinking them.  Good.  He wasn't too impressed with the banana flavor but he seems to like the Atkins ones.  Good, he needs extra protein even more than I do. 

Ron woke up and we talked a little.  He was in his usual gloomy mood. 

I decided to bag up candy with scripture booklets.  I did that for about an hour while the laundry ran.  I have a huge sack, I did up about 20-30.  I did eat an unwrapped piece of taffy and a little bag of Reese's Pieces.  "Don't muzzle the ox while it's treading the grain".  Deuteronomy 25:4, 1 Corinthians 9:9, and 1 Timothy 5:18.  So I am justified. 

I hope the candy doesn't bring a headache.  I really wanted to eat a Special Dark but I already know dark (and all, I assume) chocolate brings a migraine. 

Oh, I fed the cats.  Can't forget them.  I emptied out the canister to feed them, then I will add fresh food to the empty canister.  Otherwise old food sits on the bottom, going rancid. 

Dryer just buzzed brb.  That load was underwear, with some t-shirts.  Still damp.  I don't want to run it at a higher setting because it will fry the elastic in the undies, and I don't want to run it at medium for another 40 minutes.  So I'll finish it tomorrow. 

We're going to work tomorrow and then running to Walmart at some point.  Good.  I need to make my deposit for health insurance, I can also use some food. 

I need to figure out how many, if any, snack foods I want to buy for myself.  I like the Lays Stax a lot, but I don't need the carbohydrates. 

Oh, an interesting thing: this morning my blood sugar was 109.  The last bad headache it was also 109.  So a correlation with higher blood sugar and headaches.  I think I just ate a couple of hot dogs for dinner last night, but apparently that was "enough".  I'll figure it out. 

The other night, I had a caramel apple ice cream dessert, next day, decent blood sugar and no headache, so it seems arbitrary.  Maybe my body just doesn't like wheat.  That might make sense. 

By the time I figure this all out, I'll be dead! 

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Dog in a manger

Slept late, until 10.  Woke up horribly depressed.  I got up anyway, ate, and took my pills.  I got on the computer for a while and went back to bed.   I tried to sleep for a while, but couldn't.  Biscuit came and lay on my leg.  Then I dropped off for a while.  

I got up and started cleaning, might as well stay busy.  I got dressed, took the garbage out, and got undressed.  I did a load of laundry.  

Ron finally arose.  I thought he was asleep, but he said he was watching TV, he watches TV with no screen, just a pair of headphones, so it was hard to tell.  We talked a little and had a small cuddle.  Baby Girl got jealous and wanted Ron for herself, so I left.  Then she did.  Dog in a manger I guess, doesn't want the hay, but doesn't want anyone else to have it, either.  

I'm getting ready to go to bed.  I have a moderate headache.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  

Monday, February 19, 2018

4 pennies

I got enough sleep last night, but still tired.  I got up late and barely had time to get ready. 

We went to work.  Pretty uneventful at first until a guy complained he lost some money in a machine.  He pointed at Soda #2.  Asked me to take a look at it.  I opened it up, it was fine.  I gave him the refund anyway. 

"Oh, it's this one" he said, pointing at the bottled vendor.  I opened it.  Horrific coin jam.  I managed to get out about half of it out, but I still had coins jammed in the track, and the unit. 

I got my tools.  I tried to open the door on the coin mech but it wouldn't come, and I didn't want to force it.  It's made of plastic and I was worried about breaking it. 

I finally asked Ron for his wheelchair.  He has two, the home wheelchair, 17 inches wide.  I can't really fit in that.  He also has his work wheelchair, which is 24 inches wide, and does work.  He got in his home chair and let me have his work one. 

I would have gotten a chair, but they are all bolted to the ground.  I sat in the wheelchair with my tools and opened up the very top part of the coin mech.  Lots of coins wedged in there.  I found some pennies: that's the problem.  I took everything out, then the middle part opened up for me.  I had a huge cascade of jingly change all over the machine and the floor, but I had pretty much gotten the coin jam. 

I closed up the coin mech.  It was OK.  I tried to put a quarter in the front, it wouldn't go.  Oh, yeah, I had that "mess" of coins stuck in the track.  There's a little chute that goes from the coin slot to the coin mech. 

I couldn't get it, so I used one of my picks.  That worked.  I got them all free.  More cascading.  I picked up all the change off the floor, finding a total of 4 pennies, and shut the machine. 

I tested it: worked.  I watched while other people used it: worked.  Good.  That machine is a money maker and it would be catastrophic to lose it.

About that time sandwiches called.  I ran out and got the delivery.  I stocked them.  I helped Ron.  I dealt with angry customers who had lost money in the vending machine.  I told them about the pennies.  I debated doing it but I thought they should know.  Your average person will not put pennies into a vending machine to sabotage it. 

Speaking of repairs, here is the repairman for Soda #1.  He had to replace the validator.  After he left, he had to come back and fix the coin acceptor.  But we got it all done. 

By this time, we didn't have much time left.  Let's take a moment to be grateful (and thank God, if so inclined) that I was told about the bottled vendor early on in the game, so I could fix it early.  That would have been awful to have a big time pressure on my back, fixing the machine. 

We took the money out of the vending machines, and Ron got a big bucket of quarters ready for deposit.  We left. 

We got to the bank and it was closed.  Who would have thought?  We felt pretty stupid, but a lot of people didn't know, they were pulling on the door handles and trying to get into the building. 

We called Alex the cab driver (bringer of vodka) and he came pretty quick.  I put the quarters in the trunk because I didn't want to wreck Alex's back.  I am used to handling them.  We went home. 

I took a nap.  I slept pretty well.  No cats, though. 

I had gotten pretty sweaty while working on the bottled vendor, so I took a shower when I got up.  Then we went to Denny's.  They didn't have enough servers, and a lot of take out orders, so our order was pretty slow. 

I had a breakfast sandwich and Ron had a senior menu item (which was free with the purchase of my meal, and 2 drinks).  My food was good and my pills liked it,when I took them. 

We had Gladys (the driver) to go home.  I like her a lot.  We got stuck in traffic but it wasn't too bad.  Ron had to go to the bathroom when we got home but I managed to get him there in time. 

Biscuit usually only gets one can of cat food a day.  But he was so cute when I got home, I gave him another.  He was begging.  He had a good time eating it with Baby Girl. 

When I got home, Torbie was in my bed.  That's awesome.  She didn't get up to eat, I guess she had enough dry food.  She is drinking a lot of water lately, and peeing a lot.   She hasn't lost any weight. 

The vet thought last year she might have kidney failure, but the blood test came back negative.  If she is, she is.  I'm not going to torture her with a lot of treatments if it is her time.  She is happy, she is enjoying her life. 

Now, when she doesn't want treats anymore we will talk: but she's happy now, she is an old lady (at least 13 per my vet), and I want her to have a good quality of life up until the end. 

I don't think horrid special diets, medications, and blood tests (she fights those so hard it takes two men to hold her down) are serving her.  She might not last as long but she'll be a lot happier when she does go. 

I had this whole thought process when she had that tumor on her foot a while back.  She came with it, actually, from the shelter.  The vet wasn't worried about it then, but it grew, she was chewing on it a lot, and it was bleeding.  We took it off and sent it for biopsy. 

I had some time to think, what would I do if it were malignant?  I decided I would not to any more surgery, or chemo, if she had cancer.  I didn't want to torture her.  I would rather let her go naturally (with good pain meds, of course), than a lot of invasive treatments. 

It turned out to be benign, and the doctor got it all, so no further issues. 

Torbie, at the end of it, is a pretty private cat.  She doesn't like people messing with her unless she's inviting the attention.  She doesn't even like to be picked up (not a deal killer for me, on adoption day).  So I try to respect what I see as her wishes. 

The other cats are fine.  Baby Girl and Biscuit are moderately bonded.  They don't sleep together, or groom each other, but they eat and play together.  They are only 2 years apart.  I don't think they will miss Torbie much when she does go. 

I don't plan to get another cat when Torbie does go.  Primarily because the HOA has a 2 pet policy and I am currently in violation.  Also because, as some have pointed out, my life is somewhat unstable.  Things will go to hell when Ron dies and I may need to rehome my cats.  I wouldn't want to, but I don't know what will happen. 

I didn't mean to get so depressing today.  Ron was so happy I fixed the machine, he gave me a bonus.  More than he would have paid the repairman.  I think he really admires the fact that I will roll up my sleeves, (commandeer his wheelchair), and get my hands dirty when something needs a fix.  My Dad tried to teach me how to take care of things when I was a kid, and I like to think some of that stuck. 

I'm an engineer's daughter. 

Sunday, February 18, 2018

The photos

I slept pretty well last night, woke up around 8.  I took my shower, did my God Time, talked to Ron.  I got on the computer. 

I had a message from Ron's nephew, Brian.  "Ron's Mom died a few days ago, and they had the funeral today.  I just found out myself". 

Brian, like Ron, was always a little bit of a black sheep.  I won't get into how but he didn't fit in any better than Ron did.  So I think he is also on the "outs" with them, and because of that knew Ron would want to know about this. 

Now, years ago, Ron's Dad was failing.  Brian asked Ron if he wanted to go visit.  Ron thought about it and said no.  When he died, Brian told us the date, time, and location of the service, if Ron wanted to go.  Ron did not. 

"My parents died years ago" he told me "When they tried to put me in a nursing home".  He didn't really grieve when his dad died, I think I was more upset. 

I'm not going to rehash the whole thing with Ron's family.  Suffice to say his family wanted the easy route when Ron was hurt: put him in a nursing home.  I did not.  We had conflict.  Ron's Dad briefly sided with me, long enough for me to "win".  Then Ron's dad went the party line and stopped coming to visit. 

Ron gave it a couple of months.  Honestly, I didn't want him in touch with his brother and sister.  They were both pretty awful to me and I had a hard time forgiving them for what they tried to do to Ron. 

Eventually he overrode me and tried to initiate contact.  They rebuffed him.  He tried again and again, rebuffed.  So no brother and sister. 

He tried to stay in touch with his parents.  They stopped taking his calls.  We showed up one day at their house to talk: they wouldn't.  They told us not to come back without calling.  Ron tried calling, they never answered.  When I got my cell phone in 2005/2006 he called on my phone.  They immediately picked up the phone, got "stuck" talking to Ron, gave him excuses, and hung up.  Then they stopped answering "my" calls.  Ron's Dad couldn't read. . Ron had me give him a photo of Ron with the number on the back. 

We did get a phone call from Ron's sister in law, some months after the accident.  Ron had been listening to a baseball game.  They talked about the Astros and she seemed surprised at his cognition.  She was the main push to put Ron in the home. 

Another time Ron called his sister and she picked up.  She asked him why he was "talking funny" and Ron had to explain: I had a stroke, remember? He was pretty disgusted and stopped even trying to call. 

I joined Facebook in 2009.  Ron's cousin found me (she must have searched for everyone with my last name).  We became FB friends.  She is pretty cool.  Brian must have seen it, because he started sending me messages. 

Imagine someone from animal control trying to coax a weary, hostile, rescue critter out from under a bush.  That was Brian with me.  I didn't want to have anything to do with "them".  He explained it was OK, he was born-again, he was married and having a good life, he just wanted to know how Ron was doing.  He overrode my considerable defenses and I accepted his request.  I don't see much of him on FB, he is a busy family man. 

He let us know when Ron's parents went into the nursing home.  His Dad, "Mom's" primary caregiver, had developed severe dementia.  She couldn't live independently without someone there to take care of her full-time.  She fell, a lot.  So into the home, right next to her husband. 

I have talked about this before, sorry to repeat myself, but I wanted some background to the whole death thing. 

Ron had talked recently about going to visit his mother and bringing her some gumbo.  I told him the visit was a nice idea, but he should call first and make sure she would see him.  I also said she had a lot of digestive issues, and the gumbo would probably be a bad idea. .

So now she is dead, Ron is an orphan in his 60's.  He doesn't seem very upset.  It may come out later. 

I can't help but remember right after the accident.  Ron's parents had come to the hospital.  I was talking about Ron's injuries and wondering how long it would take him to recover.  Everyone was looking at me.  Suddenly his mother interrupted and started talking about her aches 'n pains, redirecting all the attention.  She was used to being the "sick" one and getting all the attention. 

I asked Ron today "When was the last time you remember your mother, vibrant, perky, and full of life?"  He said he couldn't remember that ever.  I found that very sad.  He thought about it for a while and said he supposed she had been pretty lively and happy in his teens, but that was a long time ago. 

That's very sad.  I gave Ron's mother a lot of photos over the years.  It is my hope that I can get them back.  I asked Brian to see if he could make that happen.  I'm not hopeful, I figure I have about 33% odds of getting them back.  I know his brother and sister do not want the photos.  So they will either throw them away or give them to me, assuming his mother even kept them at all.  Odds are strong his sister's house got flooded again during Harvey so if she had the photos they are probably gone. 

But the original house still belonged to the family.  I'm hoping the photos are there and can come to me. 

I guess I'll have to wait and see how much they hate me.  I offered to either meet them for the photos or reimburse them for mailing them to me. 

A death in the family

Just found out on Facebook: Ron's mom died a few days ago.  They didn't notify us until after the funeral, I guess they were worried about us crashing it. 

Ron is playing loud rock music.  I guess that helps.  He doesn't really want to talk about it. 

I am going to try and get Ron's photos from his family.   God knows they don't want the photos. 

Ron's officially an orphan, now. 

Saturday, February 17, 2018

2 days in one, again

Yesterday started very early, at 2:30 AM.  I got up, got ready, went to work at 3:40.  Work was slow, but I stocked what I could and helped Ron.  When things get busy again, he's going to miss all the extra attention.  Our guy was a little late but not very, and it was the "good" guy.  Praise God.  I was so happy to see him. 

I've mentioned that Keurig bought Dr Pepper, I have been worried they would "downsize" him.  They didn't.  They didn't get rid of our repair people, either. 

Speaking of, soda 1 was still acting like a butt.  It wasn't taking money.  A vending machine, not taking money, is actually a big problem.  Ron talked me into going into the diagnostics mode and figuring out the problem: Bad validator motor.  Well, there's that.  We don't have another validator and I don't know how to replace them, anyway.  I do know you have to turn off the power before you plug in a valdator or it will fry.  So, one machine down. 

Ron and I focused on the other 2 canned soda machines, and the bottled vendor.  The bottled vendor is doing well. 

Our delivery was pretty uneventful, except they brought 8 Diet Dr Peppers, instead of 4.  Ron will not need to order any of those for months, especially since I'm not drinking them. 

We finally finished up and went home.  I had time for a very short nap, which I took.  Then I put on my workboots and got dressed, went to the dentist.  They had worked Ron in, which meant he was pretty much the last patient seen. 

I read 3 magazines while waiting.  Ron and I chatted.  Ron's back is bad enough that he can't recline for long, in the dentist chair.  He has to sit up as long as possible, so they let him, and only put him back when Doc is working on him.  It works. 

Doc finally came in, they did an X-ray.  Ron may have an infection, so they will be treating him with antibiotics and then sending him to an entodontist.  I think I spelled that right. 

We left with our prescription and went to the Walmart.  We got a kiddie cart and I loaded Ron, and the wheelchair.  We went to the pharmacy and turned in the prescription.  We got Ron some protein drinks and shopped around.  We got the prescription.  I checked out. 

One thing I bought were some premade casserole type dishes.  One is a macaroni thing, another is some sort of beef and rice casserole.  I also got burritos and hot dogs, easy food. 

We went home, I put everything away.  Ron wanted to go to Denny's so we did that. 

While there, I heard a pompous jackass going on about locking up all crazy people.  I thought it was pretty rude.  You can't lump us all together.  Some of us are hardworking, dedicated, and responsible.  We stick with our treatment plans.  Others, yes, are dangerous.  But we are different. 

I almost got up and said something to him but I didn't.  Why?  My better judgement prevailed, because I had taken my medication.   If I hadn't been medicated I definitely would have said something. 

After he left, I told my waitress (she had taken care of him, too) "I'm bipolar" she interrupted me "So am I".  I laughed.  "Wouldn't that guy have freaked if he knew about us?" and I told her about his comments.  She shook her head. 

We went home.  I collapsed into bed. 

I forgot to set my alarm.  Our pickup was due at 6:30.  Ron woke me up at 6.  My hair looked like greasy roadkill, I had to take a shower.  I did.  I also noted I had started my period.  I used my "best protection" and got dressed. 

Our ride came on time and took us to the warehouse.  I got our stuff, and tried to find some Paydays for the candy bags.  I figure a Payday link would be a good choice, as it's not very melty.  Our weather is getting hot, and chocolate is only good up to about 75 degrees.  We're topping that, now.  I don't, and won't, hand out melted candy bars. 

The store didn't have any regular sized Paydays.  I finally decided to buy some Peanut M&M's.  They seem less melty than a Snickers bar. 

Jack came and took us to work.  I got everything unloaded and helped Ron, I didn't even have to stock.  That's not good.  Ron sorted change for a while.  We have a machine (on loan, of course) that separates quarters, dimes, and nickels.  He worked that until he finished. 

I went to the bathroom.  My underwear looked like a massacre.  My best protection had been overwhelmed by an astounding amount of "product".  I had almost bled through my clothes, something that hasn't happened in decades.  Thank God I had more supplies. 

I was really glad I had caught it before we went home, I can't imagine how I would have felt if I had left a bloodstain on one of their nice, light gray, seats.  Horrible.  It didn't happen. 

I went back to Ron, mentally cursing hormonal flunctuations.  I haven't had trouble like this since my teens.  Hormones are out of whack now, just like they were then. 

I am going to have to take things to the next level, doubling up with a max pad plus max tampon.  Sorry if TMI, but this was a part of my day. 

I helped Ron finish up and put everything away.  I have plenty of supplies, if people ever buy anything. 

We left and went home.  I had time for a nap.  Thank God.  We went out for a cheap dinner and had a good time. 

When I got home I called my parents.  They are doing well. 

I'm getting ready to go to bed early.  I am pretty tired, I barely checked into my online sites, just enough to let them know I'm OK. 

One day I didn't check into Facebook for a couple of days and my friends were freaking out, worried I was in the throes of a deep depression, or worse. 

Anyway, that's it.  I hope you're having a good weekend. 

Big mouth

We went to dinner eventually.  I was seated next to a "clean-cut" guy who was raving about how all crazy people need to be locked up.  Dying to go over and tell him I'm a small business owner, I'm a caregiver, I'm a homeowner.  I also happen to have bipolar with schizophrenia on top.  So what?  Not an issue at all because I take my medication.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Don’t ask God to make you patient

At the dentist.  Read 2 magazines already.

Friday morning

Ron didn't let me sleep, wasn't very sorry about it, either.  Woke up with a headache but the Excedrin worked.  Stocked the machines, now waiting on Dr Pepper.  Tired.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Catching up

Yesterday I woke up with a headache.  It was bad enough I ended up taking some phenergan.  I still had to go to work. 

We went to the warehouse, the one we normally use didn't have the 20 ounce Ozarka water.  The other store did have it.  We live about halfway between the two stores. 

We got there, I got the water and some San Pelligrino sparkling water (I would have been happy with the Ozarka sparkling, but they didn't have it) for me.  I paid for the sparkling separately.  I bought Ron some pizza and a drink when he said he was hungry. 

We waited about an hour on our ride.  I put the drinks away (not fun with the headache).  We got to work, I unloaded.  I left Ron outside (the weather was mild) while I got the cart.  Then I loaded the cart and brought the drinks into the building. 

Ron was complaining, asking why I didn't do it another way, etc.  I just ignored him, my head was killing me. 

Ron became progressively more demanding, even though I was helping him 100%.  I finally blew up at him by the fridge and asked him if he wanted me to walk out?  Because I was about to?  He kept cursing at me so I walked off with the cart.  I was done helping him for now. 

He eventually came back to our area, found the cart, and started stocking.  He didn't apologize, he acted like nothing had happened. 

I did my stocking (I didn't need much), and Ron, very politely, asked me for assistance on a couple of occasions.  He didn't use the word "please" but he did say "thanks".  He didn't say "sorry" either. 

We finished up and went home.  I curled up in a ball, in bed.  Miserable.  I was weak at work, I had 2 cans of diet soda.  But that's still a lot less than I normally do. 

I woke up, took some Excedrin, felt better.  I really want to get off the Excedrin because it has so much caffeine! 

We went to Denny's.  I had cheese sticks.  Migraines seem to like the cheese sticks, and I can take my medication with it.  So I did that.  I had the caramel apple dessert. 

My weight is still down since the epic migraine, I was 241 this morning.  I checked my blood sugar, 92.  I had a mild headache so I drank some plain black tea.  That helped.  Then I took my medication, ate my protein bar, etc.  I did some computer time.  I drank a bottle of sparkling water. 

When I finish, I'm going to do my God Time.  Then I will take a nap, if I can. 

Yesterday I saw a car in front of the house so I "took the garbage out" so I could spy on him.  He was filming #2 with a tablet.  I look at him, he looked at me.  I decided to get his plate.  He smiled at me, put his tablet away, and drove off before I could "get" him. 

I debated telling them about this.  They don't like me much because I "told" they had more tenants than agreed upon, and they broke the no-pets rule as well.  Not my fault they were "bad".  So, I thought, maybe I could tell the landlady.  Ron said no, that would freak her out, just leave it alone, so I did.  He also mentioned it could have been the homeowner's association doing an inspection - half their house is painted light grey, the rest dark, it looks really tacky and has been that way for over a year.  So I left it. 

We are home a lot so I'm not worried about burglary unless they watch us and know our schedule.  And when we're gone, the neighbors are home, so it's not a safe bet.  Whatever's going to happen is going to happen but it was very odd. 

That's it for now.  I plan to take my shower tonight so I am "good" for tomorrow.  I really am not excited about the idea of taking a shower at 1 in the morning tomorrow, and our pickup usually arrives around 3. 

Hopefully Dr Pepper/Keurig will arrive early and we can get on with our day.  Ron is finishing his root canal tomorrow so that will be boring.  And unnerving.  I hate the sound of that drill. 

Ugh. 


Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Another migraine today.  Had to work anyway. 

I'm better now but wiped out; I will do a longer post tomorrow. 

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Day off, part 2

So, we went to Walmart.  Ron asked for a kiddie cart but they didn't have any dry ones.  I did my shopping solo.  I got the cat food, tv dinner for Ron (he likes Richard's Red beans and Sausage meal), etc.  I got cat treats.

I got Ron some tomatoes (only vegetable he will eat) and myself some nice lemons.  The conventional ones were spotted, moldy, and half-rotted; the organic ones looked much better.  I plan to cut them up and put them in water.  I bought some sparkling water for myself, 8 liters worth.

I plan to drink one a day.

They are good, and just have water, bubbles, and flavoring.  No artificial sweeteners or caffeine.  I plan to buy some more for work, at Sam's club or through our wholesaler.  Good.  I paid and left.

Ron wanted an "Onion Burger" so I bought him one, and got myself a couple of double cheeseburgers, just ketchup.  I am quite happy eating one of those.

We ate our food and waited on Alex, the cab driver.  He pulled up.  We loaded everything and headed off.  Ron wanted liquor.  Vodka, to be precise.  He had Alex go in the liquor store and buy it (with money Ron gave him) bring it out, and put it in the cab.  Then we went home.

Alex unloaded the liquor and wheelchair while I got the groceries.  I put everything (most of it) away and laid down for a nap.  My headache had come back with a vengeance.  I curled up in bed for a while, tried to sleep, got up, and took some Excedrin.  I drank some sparkling water.  Then I almost vomited.

I am sitting here typing with a huge bucket next to me, in case I need to hurl.  My head is throbbing.  I am so sick of these headaches.  I will try no caffeine/no aspartame for a couple of weeks and see if it helps.  It's just ruined my day off.  It's awful.

Thank God I did not vomit.  I will fill up my water bottle with some nice cold water so I have something to drink when I'm lying in bed tonight.  It's insulated, and the water stays nice and cold.

I will probably go to bed early if the Excedrin lets me.  Right now I am jittery, with a moderate throbbing pain.  Earlier it was more of a drilling or a grinding pain.  Ugh.

I hope you are not going through any of this.  I don't know if this is diet related or medication related, but whatever it is, it is awful.  And I'm so thirsty, but I'm scared to drink because I might vomit.

I guess I will have to take that chance.

Edit, I found a peppermint that was unwrapped in a bag of candy.  I couldn't hand it out, clearly, so I put it aside to eat later.  I ate it and it helped the nausea tremendously.  I was able to eat my dinner and take my pills. 

Day off, part 1

Something nice happened yesterday, my Dad sent me a nice text with a smiling picture of him.  It meant a lot.  Dad has never been the super cuddly type but I've always known he loved me.  Yes, God will show him a few things one day, but that's between them. 

So.  I went to bed last night, early, and slept pretty well.  I had a nice dream in which I was travelling, with my Dad.  Then the dream changed and I had a headache in the dream.  And I woke up with a fairly nasty headache.  We'll call it a 3.5 on a 1-10. 

I debated.  I could take the aspirin, and go back to sleep, or I could take the excedrin and be up half the night.  It was 3:30 AM.  I opted for the aspirin, as it wasn't "too bad" and it was so early. 

It didn't work.  So now I was stuck waiting 4 hours so I could take the Excedrin.  I did manage to get a little sleep but it was fitful.  Biscuit joined me.  He's a good boy. 

When the alarm went off, I took my Excedrin (it helped, a lot, headache went from a 6 down to a 2), and fed Biscuit.  Ron sure got out of the way fast when I headed his way with the empty cat food can!  Oooh, it reeked.  I threw it away. 

I talked to Ron a little as I drank some diet tea.  Next step will be cutting out the aspartame - as much as possible, because I just read a convincing study that aspartame is linked to headaches. 

What to drink?  Well, I can do plain water.  I can do sparkling water.  Work will - may be - tough but I plan to ask Ron to order me some of the Ozarka 1 liter sparkling water bottles.  They are sold by our supplier and should be available to all vendors.  If I can get ahold of those, that will make my life easier to drink.  I will have something fun and bubbly to drink, that won't give me headaches or make me freak out from caffeine overdose. 

I played some music for Ron.  He wasn't sure he had heard anything by Def Lepperd.  I played "Pour some Sugar on Me" and then "Hysteria".  He didn't like it.  He isn't into hard rock or metal.  I am.  Funny how that worked out. 

So then he wanted some Garth Brooks, being a good Texan.  I played a couple for him.  Then he wanted Neil Diamond, "You don't bring me flowers".  He got a little emotional during that one until I teased him that he never "comes through the door" I push him through the door.  He laughed at that. 

We let the cats play in the garage for a little bit and they had a good time.  The came in and I shut the door. 

I took a shower, I hadn't yesterday and my hair needed it.  Ron sat in the doorway and talked to me while I did and we had an interesting conversation.  Then he went off to bed. 

He was drinking first thing this morning when he got up.  It makes me angry.  It makes me sad.  It makes me scared. 

Now the alarm is going off for us to go to Walmart.  For some reason he just had a bug to go to Walmart.  Then he said he wanted to go to Spec's after Walmart, like "We did the other time" and buy another case of vodka.  I didn't know I would be drafted to go on more of these trips.  He mentioned I don't have to touch it or anything, but I still don't like being present when the alcohol is purchased.  It reeks of tacit approval; and I don't approve. 

Ugh.  It's enough to make my headache worse.  I will have to do some thinking to decide if I am OK with this.  I was fine with Ron sending a strange person off to get it and then meeting them in the garage.  I was reluctantly OK with guarding the door to the garage so the cats didn't get out; because if they do they could get hurt, go missing, or killed.  It's not a good world anymore for cats.  But this... agh. 

Anyway, I need to go make sure Ron is ready for Walmart.  I imagine, since he is getting alcohol at the end of it, he will be pretty motivated to get ready but we'll see. 

Monday, February 12, 2018

Finally raised our soda prices

Ron had a hard time getting drunk last night, kept blaming the "big lunch" he ate.  He kept going back to drink more and more and more. 

He finally asked me for help getting to bed.  I pushed his wheelchair next to the bed and left him.  He collapsed, half in the bed, half in the wheelchair.  It looked very uncomfortable, and, not surprisingly, he had a lot of back pain today. 

 He kept waking me up, making noise, grunts, groans, etc.  I didn't sleep well.  I slept in as late as I could this morning, I had Biscuit in my bed.  He was very cute and cuddly, purry, and just outright adorable. 

I finally dragged myself out of bed, brushed my teeth, and fed him.  I got dressed and we went to work.  It was pretty standard at first, stocking snack machines, helping Ron with sodas.  We are having problems with soda one, it isn't taking money.  That's a problem. 

We had scheduled to have the guy come out today to raise prices on all the vending machines,but he was very late.  We didn't get out of there for hours.  In the meantime I got my sandwiches, stocked, etc.  Waited around a lot.  Talked to the other vendor. 

Finally, he showed.  The other vendor "let" us have him first.  He changed all the prices.

Ron's back was really bad, so I got the sleeping bag out and had him lie down on the floor.  That helped. 

The customers are going to have a fit.  I expect at least one nasty note on the vending machines when we go back.  But, I explained to one of the gossips, Dr Pepper was bought out by another company (none of our demographic know "Keurig"), and they raised prices. 

We finally got out of there and came home.  I rode with a driver who had a million questions about the cats.  I answered them. 

We got home.  It was cold out, but warm in the house.  I ate an insane amount of beef jerky because I was craving something salty.  I seem to be OK with beef jerky, and the headaches. 

I took a long nap.  Ron was quiet.  I plan to go to bed pretty soon and get some more sleep.  The weather is cold out so no one wants to be outside making noise. 

I notice #6 isn't working recently.  I don't know if he lost his construction business or is taking time off.  Sometimes he does this. 

Biscuit is lying by my foot, being cute.  He's really adorable.  He isn't "Oh how cute" to look at, he is just a plain looking gray and white cat, but his personality is adorable.  He's such a good boy. 

Torbie slept with me, too, some last night and some today.  That was great.  Then she went to Ron.  I saw Baby Girl, too, but she didn't want any petting.  She's more Ron's cat. 

That's it for now. 

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Sunday

Ron scared me, the other day at work (yesterday).  He had trouble finding words, and couldn't remember "forklift" to save his life.  He kept asking me the word.  Jack finally told him "Think about lifting your fork up to your mouth" and that stuck.  

But I kept thinking, oh, crap, here it comes.  Drinking plus a head injury was never a good idea; this could manifest in some unpleasant ways.  Nothing I can do about it, really.  I don't help him buy alcohol, he knows I don't want him drinking, etc.  

I slept OK last night, and woke up around 7.  My stepmother used to call me "early bird".  I guess I am, in ideal situations.  

Biscuit had thrown up in Ron's bed.  I just put the fitted sheet in to soak.  I probably shouldn't have bothered, though.  As I was putting it in I noticed a small rip, so I could have just thrown it out.  Ron is happy sleeping on cheap Walmart sheets so it wouldn't have mattered, but he wouldn't have a backup either.  

Biscuit also threw up by the food bowl, and on the floor, twice.  If he wasn't so fat I'd worry about him, but he eats too much, gags, and vomits.  Poor little guy (well, big guy, he is about 17 pounds).  At least he didn't throw up in my bed, thank God.  

I took my shower.  Still haven't shaved my legs yet, they are pretty impressive.  I have more leg hair than most men I know, including Ron.  I did up the candy for our trips, I was almost out of a couple of things so I was glad I'd gotten more.  I ran out of Scripture booklets, so I am using "7 Things that Don't get you into Heaven".  It is a one page tract that fits easily in the bag of candy.  

I did up a couple in Spanish, for the employees at the Kolache factory.  While I despise illegal immigration and what it's doing to our country, they are here and I might as well present a witness.  So I did that.  

Our ride arrived, we went to the Kolache factory.  Well, we went to Subway first, and Ron got a couple of meatball subs, on special.  He likes them to put onions on it before they toast it.  We did that.  Then we went to the Kolache factory.  I got a bacon and cheese, and a couple of cream cheese.  They were good.  

Kolaches hold up to my medication, even a whole day's worth like I took today.  I figured, why do 2 big meals when I can do one, and took it all at once.  This is OK per doc.  He said "I don't care if you take it in the morning, the evening, or 3 times a day, as long as you are taking everything, every day."  So I did that.  

I also learned something interesting, yesterday.  I have mentioned how I don't take the antidepressant if I have a bad headache, worried it will flip into a migraine and make me vomit everything up anyway.  However, the other day I woke up with a bad headache.  I took Excedrin with my soda and waited for it to kick in, then I tried taking my antidepressant. It worked.  Everything stayed down, and the headache stayed dead.  So I can do that now, I just have to watch the caffeine in the headache pills.  

So I can stay on top of that, better.  Good thing I have plenty of headache pills.  

We had a good time, even though Ron got into the vodka before we left.  I wish I could tell him - have him receive, how it hurts me that he "has" to have a drink before going out with me.  It makes me feel like he's coating my broccoli in vodka sauce to make my company more palatable.  

We did have fun, though.  It was quiet, but busy, at the store.  The little kids all behaved, pretty much, except for one toddler who didn't want the Kolache her mother got for her.  No, she wanted the one with chocolate on top.  They bought it for her.  Then she had a whining fit because they wouldn't give her a cell phone.  They caved, gave it to her, and she poked away at it while she ate the chocolate thing.  I think the mother had an eating disorder.  She cut one Kolache in half and gave half (tried to) to her daughter, and only ate the other half, nothing else, no drink, not even water.  The father had a couple of kolaches and a big bottle of milk.  

At any rate, we had a good time.  We left, it was appreciably colder (feels like temperature, 30 degrees) but our ride came quickly.  He was a nice guy, I liked him.  We were straight and came home.  

When we got home, I took a nap.  I had some nice dreams about the cats, including one right before I woke up where I was kissing Biscuit.  Nice.  I woke up with a headache.  

I really want to get in control of my caffeine consumption, so I took 3 aspirin instead of the Excedrin, and some cold Diet Dr Pepper (I had half a bottle left over from lunch).  That worked.  It seemed more like my standard medication headache.  

I put the sheet in the wash, although I probably could have thrown it away.  If I remember correctly, this is the sheet Ron bled all over when he fell and his his head in the kitchen, about a year and half ago.  He managed to crawl back to bed, leaving a blood trail, and went to sleep in his bed, on his sheet.  Blood everywhere, all over the floor, the wall, the hall, the bedsheet, and the mattress.  I managed to get most of the blood out of the sheet but, like my aunt said, who cares?  No one is going to see it except me and why waste a sheet because it has a stain?  So I kept it.  

Yeah, I should have thrown it away.  Oh, well.  

I did remake the bed with a fresh sheet, which also had a blood stain on it.  I think from the same incident, as he was getting better.  Something happens in my house the DNA people are going to go nuts finding all these old blood stains on the floor (I mopped them up, but some traces remain microscopically, I believe).  But I've documented all this so I should be covered.  

That's it for now.  I'm craving something salty.  I bought some beef jerky the last time I went to the store so I'd have something healthier to eat.  I need a fair amount of salt to stay healthy so I figured this would be better than my usual chips.  

Here's to hoping I have a couple of "boring" hours before I go to bed.  Tomorrow we raise prices at work.  It should be interesting.  

Saturday, February 10, 2018

"I was hanging off the seat"

We went to Denny's last night.  It wasn't a very good trip.  The service was very slow, and the waitress seemed confused.  I wasn't happy. 

I just ordered a build your own slam, and Ron had garlic bread, but it took forever to get the food.  No butter on my english muffin.  No butter WITH my english muffin.  The ham was OK, and the pancakes, once I had them bring butter for them.  They only had 3 tables occupied in the whole place. 

My waitress was so busy speaking Spanish to the small family nearby, she totally ignored us.  I felt that was very rude. 

Normally we leave a "good" tip.  This time, we left 20%. 

We came home.  I took my magnesium citrate powder, in water, and went to bed at 8.  Just as I was falling asleep, #6 came home.  They go out, sometimes, on Friday night.  I noticed they were gone.  It was well after 9 PM.  The kids were screaming and yelling, then they went out in the back yard to play soccer for a couple of minutes.  Then they went in the house for about half an hour, and came back out to play soccer.  They did this repeatedly, until well after 10 PM.  I was Not Happy, but I figured I would get my "revenge" today when our ride arrived at 6 AM. 

Normally I feel very bad if the driver makes some noise, honks, plays the radio loudly, or backs into our driveway.  The cabs have the "backup beep" you hear on commercial vehicles.  I can't make them be totally quiet, and sometimes I feel bad about this. 

However, with the very rude treatment I got last night, I didn't feel at all bad when he honked twice, when he arrived.  He was early.  Ron was doing his "no one can make me come out until the pickup time" routine and driving me nuts.  We came out.  Now, we have a wheelchair ramp going from the kitchen door to the body of the garage.  It is a folding ramp, metal, and somewhat noisy when we are coming down it.  No way to stop that, either.  I didn't feel bad about any of it, not even when the driver got out of the vehicle and loudly greeted us. 

Some of us get up early.  Sorry to wake you up, hopefully you will remember, Ron and Heather get up at 4 AM on Saturday now.  

Like I said in a comment on my other post, I don't mind kids playing during normal hours.  I do mind them making noise when "normal" people are trying to sleep, like 10 PM at night. 

We went to Sam's Club, eventually.  We had to pick someone else up.  We actually drove past the wholesale club to go get her, then we came back.  That's paratransit for you.  They are paid by how many people are riding, per mile, so it's in their best interest to ride people around in large groups for as long as possible. 

We finally got to the store.  It was raining.  They had a dry cart for me, which I appreciated.  They were out of the water we sell, which I did not appreciate.  We still have 4 cases at work, though.  I bought everything we needed and got some more Driver Candy. 

I am pretty praise-driven when it comes to the candy.  If someone digs around and takes out a caramel, exclaiming "I love these!" I will be a lot more likely to restock when I run out.  So far, I've had good feedback on the Now and Laters, caramels, Brachs assorted, and fruit chews.  I bought more fruit chews today.  They come in a case of 100 bags for about $8.  I also got some more chocolate, which everyone loves except me (because it gives me migraines!). 

Jack came.  It was relatively dry by now.  We got the truck loaded (well, he did).  We went to work and unloaded, again, still dry, thank God.  It really sucks to unload the truck in the freezing cold, pouring, rain.  But not today! 

I didn't do much stocking, I will get it on Monday.  Monday will probably be a little long. 

It was pretty uneventful, me helping Ron stock.  We did have a problem with a soda machine.  I had to figure out how to disassemble the validator and take out a bad bill, which I gave to Ron.  Once I got the bad bill out, it worked fine.  Ron tried to "get" it and almost broke it.  I had to walk away before I shouted at him. 

We finally finished up and left.  We had a very short wait, maybe 2 minutes, on our ride.  Again, not a straight trip.  We rode with the blind couple who live in the bad apartment complex near work.  They were both stuffed in the back with Ron.  They are not thin, so, as Ron said later, "I was hanging off the seat".  We got them dropped (at a restaurant) and went home. 

I was pretty tired, not getting my sleep last night, so I took a nap after eating some peanut butter pretzels.  They give me a headache, not a migraine, but they are so good. 

They are the pretzel "cushion" with the peanut butter filling.  A funny story about them.  When I was at the store, looking at them, I picked them up and put them in my cart.  A man behind me said "There they are!" and grabbed a canister for himself.  "I'm having a hard day" he said.  I looked in his cart (I am nosy) and saw a package of adult women's diapers.  I can imagine what kind of days he has!  I'm a caregiver too!  I didn't say anything, but just smiled as I left. 

I took my nap, had a pretty good one, but I did wake up with a headache from the pretzels.  I took some Excedrin.  I hope I don't regret that, I don't want the caffeine to mess with me. 

I need to get rid of those pretzels, but they're so good!   I may give them to Ron. 

I need to get some dinner.  I am thinking a hamburger patty and some soup.  I don't have to just eat soup when I'm sick.  I also need to call my Dad. 

Dad sent me a video of the radiation treatment he is getting.  It seems top of the line.  He starts that in a week or so. 

That's it for now.  We have a small outing planned for tomorrow but nothing major.  Hopefully that works out. 

I may buy some new cat food while I'm out, too.  They eat a lot of dry. 

Biscuit was so good when I had the migraine, he was happy eating just dry food instead of the can of wet every morning.  I was so miserable I couldn't bear the thought of opening one of those smelly cans, but he was fine, as long as he had something to eat. 

Have a good one! 

At least I don't have a headache

I went to bed early last night, and was just starting to dream, when #6 came home last night.  They made a tremendous amount of racket. 

"So much" I thought to myself "For them being quiet on Friday nights".  The older kids went into the backyard and played soccer for a while, kicking the ball into my fence.  It was well after 9 PM.  I finally went back to sleep, and they made more noise.  And again. 

Once I got to sleep, I slept pretty well but not long enough.  I am exhausted.  It's raining; that's going to make our supply run pretty miserable. 

But at least I don't have a headache.  There's always that, at least. 

I am petty enough to hope we disturb them for a change, when we leave for work at 6. 

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Thursday

I got to sleep in a little, today, but #6 was lazy and didn't put their garbage cans away last night.  If I had 6 kids in my house, you can BET they would all be doing chores, but the only thing I've ever seen is the oldest, watering some plants, on one occasion.  So, because they were too lazy to put it away yesterday, they woke me up today. 

I ate my breakfast and took my shower.  I am about ready for a new bar of soap.  I use 2 bars of soap, 3 actually.  I have acne soap, standard soap (it's good, but it doesn't have a good lather on it, needs more coconut oil!), and unscented soap.  I use them all for different purposes.  The unscented soap is about done so I will need to change it out.  And there's Biscuit, putting his head in my lap! 

That done, I got dressed and ready for work.  Our ride was late, and, at first, was going to refuse to allow Ron to "transfer" (sit in a regular seat instead of the wheelchair compartment).  She changed her mind and I managed to make Ron behave.  I knew if he started yelling it would go downhill quickly. 

We got to work, things were pretty slow.  I told Ron, today I will help you do your work, first, and then I will do mine.  So that's what we did.  Ron was very happy about it. 

One of the customers, one I thought didn't like me, was a lot friendlier today.  That was nice. 

The other vendor called us and said we will be raising the prices to 90 cents on the canned sodas.  So, there's that.  We have to agree on our pricing, it is a policy in our program that if we have 2 vendors at the same location, they will have the same prices on identical items.  It can be a little political at times, but we make it work. 

The other vendor gets along with us pretty well.  At one point, he told us we are the only other vendors he would share a stockroom with.  It does get interesting, that. 

It always helps to bring a good understanding of what's really important, and a good sense of humor, to work.  For instance, the other vendor's guy LOVES to put his folding cart in front of my rack.  He's not "supposed" to, but it's just easier for him to do that.  I just work around it until he sees it and remembers on his own, then he moves it.  It's not worth complaining. 

A good understanding of what matters.  So, we finished work, got it all done, including the inventory.  We went home, it was a driver we know well.  He liked the candy. 

It was funny, I had asked God if I should even be bothering with the Brachs assorted hard candy.  No one has gone, "Oh, peppermints!" and dug into it like they do with the chocolate, caramel, Now and Laters, Snickers, and fruit chews.  But he did, today.  So I guess I will keep adding those to the mix. 

We had to ride around for a while.  I thought it was funny, as a play to get sympathy, one of the other passengers mentioned she was partially blind.  Ron didn't bother to mention he is all the way blind.  But I know we (us, and the driver) were thinking about it. 

We finally got home and unloaded.  The driver liked the sight of my gym equipment in the garage.  He couldn't believe that I was the one who used it.  Why, because I'm a woman?  I know a lot of women who lift weights, all online of course, but still... I need to get back to it once I clear out all the business crap.  We have old reports, vending machine parts, you name it, all stuffed into the garage. 

It didn't help, years ago, when they took away our stockroom (thank God they gave it back) and forced me to bring a lot of stuff home.  Now I'd love to get rid of it. 

We went inside.  Ron wanted to eat at home.  I had some cereal and my medication.  I forget what he had. 

I took a nap with the cats (Biscuit and Torbie) and woke up with a headache.  I forgot shredded wheat can be a headache trigger.  I saw Baby Girl, running around the house.  I got most of her mats (all of them, that I can see), so she's "Pretty" again.  She was running around the house making bengal noises.  Here's a Youtube of some (not BG, but other cats). 

https://youtu.be/XDbYR0ExLw0

Baby Girl doesn't really perform on camera, for me.  As I was playing the noisy Bengal cats video, Biscuit went nuts looking for the cats.  He is in the window right now looking outside for them.  He'll figure it out, eventually. 

It really upsets the cats when I play meowing kittens.  They look all over for the kittens. 

Ron and I are also working on the accounting report.  Hopefully we can get the thing filed and done tonight, so we don't have to worry about it tomorrow.  We're not late with it (yet) but it didn't help that I was sick last week.  We're getting it, now. 

We have tomorrow off (things are slow), and then supply run on Saturday.  I have to go, Ron's ready to do the online part of the report. 

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

The rest of my day

So I did my God Time, and took my shower.  I tried to take a nap before Ron and I went out to lunch.  I got a little sleep.  My headache came back so I took some more Excedrin. 

When I got up, Ron and I went out for Indian food.  Our ride was late so Ron had to reschedule the pickup.  It was raining.  Ron was very unhappy and blamed me for the whole outing "going wrong".  But when we got there he ordered Tandoori chicken and talked to the owner about the curried goat dish.  Jason told Ron he would make a small dish, and Ron could decide if he liked it.  Ron said OK.  Ron loved the curried goat, and ate most of the tandoori chicken.  I had chicken masala and pan bread.  It was very good. 

We had the same driver to go home, and it was a straight trip.  I laid down again while Ron called a friend of his.  "He thinks you walk on water" Ron told me, when he hung up. 

Well, people either seem to love me, or hate me.  Doesn't seem to be an inbetween.  Years ago, about 30, at church youth group we were asked to list several things that described us, on a piece of paper.  Then we handed the paper around and people wrote comments on it.  I will never forget getting my paper back and seeing "mediocre" on it.  I had to look it up, and when I did I was devastated.  Hopefully they are not doing things like this in church youth group, anymore. 

So these days opinions seem to be more polarized, which is fine.  I don't think anyone I know, certainly not any commenters, actively hates me.  They get impatient.  I drive them nuts.  They can't understand my decisions, but they don't hate me.  Some of my customers might. 

My gallbladder is a little iffy today.  I didn't eat anything for almost a week so it had no opportunity to empty last week.  It is still waking up, I think, today.  A heavy cream sauce is a bit much to ask of it, probably.  I feel kind of bloated, but that could be the pan bread. 

Biscuit laid down with me,and put his head on my foot.  It was pretty cute.  I managed to get some sleep with him like that. 

I explained the headache situation to Ron and asked if we could have a later pickup to go to work, tomorrow.  He said yes.  So, I get to "sleep in" a little tomorrow, maybe until 7 AM. . That will be a nice change from my 4 AM wakeups. 

I just hope the headache crawls off, the caffeine lets me sleep tonight, and Ron doesn't have a blackout.  I don't think he will, he is pretty full of meat from the restaurant. 

He won't eat, often, until he is very drunk because food inhibits alcohol absorption.  It upsets me greatly.  He needs to eat on a regular basis, especially with that thing on his leg.  I haven't looked at it recently but I am sure it is still ugly.  I'm sure he'll wait until it is a mess and then come to me, frantic, to "fix" it. 

Usually I have been able to do so.  A couple times we have had to go for antibiotics.  I have a method now, for treating the ulcers.  I use peroxide, first.  Dab it dry.  Then use Dermoplast spray.  It is important to keep it open to the air so it doesn't get icky.  Neosporin is often suggested, but it doesn't let the wound breathe and it gets on Baby Girl. 

See, Baby Girl likes to lay on Ron's legs, when he is in bed.  If he has salve, or antibiotic ointment, on his legs it rubs off on her fur, and then the fur gets stuck to the wound.  And the cat has to clean the salve out of her fur, and it tastes bad.  So better to use he spray. 

If and when he will let me, that is. 

Oh, I'm tired.  I'm sorry, I'm always complaining about that.  I try to present a clear picture of living with this disease and the treatment.  But it comes at the cost of repeating myself. 

Tomorrow will be a nice, dry, day so hopefully I won't have to deal with another headache.  I didn't eat anything weird (Tikka masala nonwithstanding) so I should be fine. 

I just hope I can get some solid sleep tonight, without nightmares, blackouts, or waking up in the early hours with yet another headache. 

Another headache

I fell asleep last night and slept pretty well, until I woke up at 3 AM with another severe headache.  [curses]  I got up and took a couple of Excedrin, and went back to bed. 

Now, Excedrin has a lot of caffeine in it, at least for me.  So generally, when I take it, it keeps me up and I can't sleep.  If I have a bad headache, though, I go back to sleep for a couple of hours. 

I went back to sleep for a couple of hours, and had a nightmare about Ron having a blackout.  Great.  I woke up with Biscuit, too alert to go to sleep again (too much caffeine!) and got up eventually.  I weighed myself (still down from before the migraine), fed Biscuit, and took my blood sugar (98).  I watched a little TV and then got on the computer. 

I feel cheated.  I wanted to sleep in, but I can't.  At least the headache didn't come back, but this means I can't take my antidepressant.  If I take it when I already have a headache, it goes straight to migraine.  Happily it, and I, seem OK with inconsistent dosing. 

I keep yawning but I feel wired.  I feel so cheated. 

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

I pay for sanity, in fatigue

So, today. 

I got up early, but Biscuit was in my bed, all plump and cute, purring.  I hit the snooze button a few times and went back to bed.  When I finally got up, I didn't have much time. 

I did have time to give Biscuit his kisses, and his breakfast.  He is such a sweet cat.  You know I love him when, vomiting for days, I still opened up a can of smelly cat food every day so he could have his nums. 

I took my shower and got ready.  Ron had forgotten to call in trips to go to the dentist so he had to call a cab.  We got a ride pretty quick.  He didn't know how to put the wheelchair away so I showed him.  It's not hard, and the wheelchair (this one) isn't heavy.  Well, God's given me what I need to sling it around, I'll put it that way. 

We got to the dentist 10 minutes early.  They had to drill off the temporary crown, which meant they had to numb Ron, and of course the drilling.  I hate the sound of the dentist drill.  I know, in the long run, it brings relief, but I just hate that sound.  I think most do. 

After we finished we went to Walmart.  I found a kiddie cart and loaded Ron.  Ron was in a pretty bad mood but he perked up and we had fun shopping.  I had forgotten my reusable tote bags so, when we checked out, we had to use regular plastic. 

There was a woman waiting, obviously, for a cab.  She had two shopping carts full of processed crap food, and drinks, but was amazingly still pretty thin.  I wondered if we would have problems with her trying to take our cab when Ron called one. 

Ron went down the list, calling cab drivers, but no one was available.  Ron called Yellow and put the trip out.  A minute later, I saw a sedan cab go by the door and I thought it was for the woman.  She went out. 

A minute later, the cab driver came into the store.  It was Michael.  We know him very well.  He told us to "come on!" and we went.  I passed the other woman, waiting with her stuff, and wondered that our cab had come so much faster than her ride. 

As I passed her, she told me Michael was "her cab" but she didn't like him.  She started trash talking him but I wasn't listening because we were putting Ron in the car, and then all our crap (about $50 between the two of us, in purchases).  I got in the cab and we left. 

I asked Michael if we had "stolen" her cab, and he said no.  He had come out for her, but she didn't want him, and then he saw our trip and took that instead.  So we were in the right. 

I asked if she was a lousy tipper, and Mike said she didn't tip at all, and had cheated him a couple times on the fare.  So we did him a favor.  We don't cheat drivers on the fare. 

We went home and I put all the crap away.  Ron and I had a small argument.  I can't get into details but I wouldn't help him do something he shouldn't be doing anyway.  He got upset and threatened to take away my trip to Denny's, later.  I said go ahead and ate my leftover pizza from yesterday, and then took my pills. 

Ron backed off and said our ride would arrive in a few hours, so I took a nap, again, with Biscuit.  No, my mistake.  It was Torbie.  I have so many awesome cats it is hard to keep them straight. 

I had a good nap and actually woke up before the alarm.  I was surprised.  I got up and did some computer work, bagged up some candy, and did my Bible Study.  I got dressed and ready.  I checked the mail. 

I had already taken out the garbage.  I heard Baby Girl, by the front window (her favorite spot) making noises.  I looked out the window to see  a nice, plump, dove pecking away at our grass.  Baby Girl was going nuts. 

Our driver arrived.  #6 (the whole family) were headed out, with the kids running wild in the driveway.  I warned the driver those kids run in the street and she thanked me.  If they won't be responsible, I will.  Who doesn't teach their kids to stay out of the street? 

We went to Denny's.  Paratransit left us there for almost 2 hours.  It was pretty good, I just had a dessert.  Ron had a grilled cheese and soup. 

We were picked up by a big van, on the way home.  The other client had an extreme amount of groceries hogging up 3 seat spaces.  It's a miracle there was room for us and the wheelchair.  She was very obese, in a wheelchair.  She was talking on the phone about how she had bought "salad, for the kids....Oh, you know, the cut up apples with caramel sauce?"  I don't think that qualifies as "salad" in any context.  I would hate to see "dessert". 

We came home, I saw utility trucks parked at the house behind us.  It's a rental (I am nearly surrounded by rent houses) and they are apparently fixing up the utilities.  I sure hope whoever lives there is quiet.  Please, Lord, let them be quiet. 

It's not a very good school district, in my opinion.  Some kids are bused in from one of the very worst ghettoes in Houston, to these schools.  Not exactly the peer group I would want for my kids.  But I don't have kids so I'm not worried.  But it's something a "quality" tenant is going to investigate.  Sigh. 

I didn't expect so many houses around me (5 that I know of, in a one block area around me) to go rental.  It's a mixed bag.  Some of the tenants are very quiet, clean, respectful.  Some of them are obnoxious jerks I pray to see evicted.  The former #2 was a hoarder and just utterly obnoxious, and he lived there for several years.  He brought rats.  It doesn't get much worse than that.  Thank God for Bubba, my big black cat.  I think the rats called him "Death".  I'll keep you posted. 

Ron's in bed, after drinking.  Well, there's that. 

Biscuit is lying by my foot.  It's 7:30 on my day off, and I have tomorrow off.  I will probably go to bed early. 

I am proud I got back on the medication routine so quickly after my migraine.  It would have been easy to drop the ball.  I pay for sanity, in fatigue.  It's a pretty high price.  I'm willing to pay it because I spent too long unmedicated. 

I often wonder how my life would have been different if I had been diagnosed and medicated at a young age (say, 7).  As it is, I spent:
All my school years.
Meeting Ron
Dating Ron
Marrying Ron
Unmedicated, "under the influence" so to speak.  I think, had I been medicated, I would have set much firmer boundaries, and been a lot more assertive, with Ron from the beginning.  Maybe we would have made it, maybe not. 

But I'll never know.  I've only been "clear" (to borrow a Scientology term) for the last 10 years or so.  Less than that, actually.  I can't see how people live without psychiatric medication. 

Anyway, I am tired so I'm going to bed.  Maybe I'll see the cats, maybe not.  I hope I do.  They're pretty cute. 

I do notice, though, whenever I show off cat photos people always use the word "fat".  I have such a hard time putting them on a diet, when I know they were starved when I got them.  I just can't bear to put them back in that place, and deal with all the sad meows, begging, etc. 

I am an enabler.