Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Let the store, store it.

Big news first, Ron is having his operation on September 7. 

Gulp. 

This morning I got up a little late, 7:37 by my alarm (I had set my alarm for 7 but forgot to turn it on), took my shower, did my God Time. 

I started cleaning out the laundry room.  I have a lot of crap in there and I need to sort out the good stuff so I can keep it.  That means, tossing all the bad stuff. 

I have tried to save old stained clothes for rags, but it's just not practical.  What works a lot better for me, just buying rags when I need them.  Let the store, store it. 

We went to Walmart.  I got everything on my list (some daily-type pads for when I am spotting, stuff like that), but totally forgot to get cottage cheese and yogurt.  I did remember to get some candy for the installers tomorrow. 

They're coming in mid-afternoon, so we'll see how that goes.  I am a little worried they might reverse the hoses when they hook up the washer, I plan to ask them to make sure so I don't have any dramas. 

Ron had brought his wheelchair so I left him up front while I shopped.  Little did I know he called the surgeon, asking when he could get the operation, as he was sick of the debility and troubles.  Doc's staff replied they could "do" him on September 7th. 

They hung up, and then the doctor's staff called Ron back; Ron needed to go to the hospital and do preadmission blood work and other testing.  OK. 

I called my aunt.  She answered, poor thing.  I explained our situation and she offered to take us to the hospital for the preadmission blood work, and also the day of surgery.  That is a huge gift.  I will remind you that a one way cab ride is $66.  We're not sure about fitting the wheelchair in the trunk, but either it will work or it won't.  If it doesn't work we can use the walker instead, Ron can sit on it and I can push him.  She's been there before "helping other patients". 

So, that's done.  Our driver can help me with trips to and from the hospital.  I am certain my aunt does not want to drive 100 miles round trip every day just so I can see Ron.  Chuck lives closer to the hospital and doesn't mind. 

I also took the garbage, and recycling, out so that's done.  They came and took it while I was at work. 

Ron and I went to work in the afternoon.  It was pretty unremarkable except for a woman who said she had lost $5, twice, in the bill changer.  I paid her refund, figuring if she's lying God (you might call it karma) will get her. 

I got yelled at by several people who got dimes and nickels in their "change" from the bill changer.  When Ron takes money out of the vending machines, he puts it in a bucket.  When he sorts the change into "only" quarters, "only" dimes, etc., it also goes into a bucket.  Ron mixed up the buckets. 

Boy, they were pissed.  I paid the refunds so everyone is happy.  Ron did sodas and I did snacks, food, and coffee, in addition to helping him with sodas. 

I feel pretty confident I can assume Ron's duties when he's out, my only concern's that he will try to overexert himself during the healing process.  You can't do that.  You won't have a good result, but Ron is stubborn. 

I am dead serious in saying I might need to get a handcuff for him to fasten him to the wheelchair and make certain he can't do any stocking.  It will drive him nuts but I think that's the only way I can have Ron at work during the healing process. 

We worked a long time, so long Ron had to cancel our pickup.  After he did that, we decided to call Chuck to pick us up, and go to dinner too. 

We did that.  We had a good time and a very attentive waiter. 

When we got home, I put away the garbage cans as Ron waited in the wheelchair.  We could hear Biscuit crying for us, in the house.  He's so cute.  Biscuit, that is. 

We went in, I had a little difficulty getting the wheelchair up over the step and across the threshold.  Ron was unhappy about that.  He "doesn't like to see [me] strain". 

Well, I signed up for it, and if all goes well, we won't be doing this for long. 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

"I don't see why they made you come in"

We had a tiring day. 

Our first driver was late.  He had a fresh cup of coffee and a half-eaten pastry in his console, so I had a pretty good guess what took him to long.  [sigh]  I didn't say anything to him, or Ron (just you). 

We had to go downtown.  It isn't a long ride if you take the freeway.  Houston's laid out like a spiderweb, with freeways going out in "spokes" from the center, surrounded by two circular freeways, 610 and the Beltway.  It's a pretty good system and we traveled late enough that we didn't really encounter any traffic. 

We got in, checked in, and sat down.  We waited with a couple of legally blind guys, another guy in a wheelchair, a very old man on a walker, and a guy with a cane.  They called names, we were almost last.  The very old man told us some war stories about WW2.  A young black man was very impressed he had served, and made a point of coming over and thanking him. 

I put $20 on my bus card.  I am good for almost a hundred bus rides now. 

We were getting pretty close to our pickup, Ron got worried and checked with the clerk.  We were next. 

A nice lady opened the door and mangled our last name.  We smilingly corrected her and went back.  I made a point of telling her Ron couldn't go anywhere without me pushing him.  She nodded.  She sat down and went through the paperwork and we confirmed all the health problems.  She gaped at us. 

"I don't see why" she said "They made you come in". 

"He's not getting better". I said dryly.  She nodded.  I didn't bother to mention that Ron gets a little worse every couple years. 

Ron mentioned he had been promised he would get a lifetime approval this time.  She said she would work to make that happen, but it might take a couple weeks to get the approval letter. 

She took us out to the waiting area.  I ran to the deli and got some junk food, so I could take my pills. 

We had a long ride home but the driver really enjoyed us.  He said we were fun, that's nice to hear. 

When we got home I took the stopper out of the bathtub.  The pop up stopper had failed.  We have to unscrew it to get the tub to drain.  Since Ron likes baths, that's a problem. 

We went to Home Depot and got a couple of new stoppers (something will work) and a set of stainless washer hoses.  I didn't want to take a chance on the installers "forgetting" the stainless hoses. 

Apparently "everyone" is now saying to replace them every 5 years.  Boy, God really had my back because my current hoses are just about 15 years old. 

I also got some washing machine cleaner because I will need it, now that I have an HE washer.  Not really thrilled with an HE, but I don't have a choice.  I "could" "Maybe" get the old washer repaired but it would probably cost as much as my new washer, and I don't see the sense in that.  I would be particularly upset if I paid someone $200 to come out, only to find they don't make the part anymore! 

I plan to keep a jar by the washer and put in $1 every time I do a load.  By the time the washer needs replacing, I'll have enough money to pay for it.  I meant to do it with the last washer but it got folded into my emergency fund and used on things like dying cats and hospital bills. 

[sigh]  Anyway, we got all that and checked out.  Our ride home came pretty fast so we enjoyed that.  It was about 3:30 so I tried to take a nap.  I got a little rest, but Torbie came in meowing loudly and walking on me, and then #6 made some noise. 

About #6, they still have that annoying light but I have apparently gotten used to it.  To my knowledge, it's not waking me up (motion detector light, one of the lights points right at the back of my house and both my bedroom windows). 

I have had a good atmosphere for sleep but between Ron's pending operation, Ron's drinking, Ron's Dad dying, and worries about my new washer, I'm kind of a wreck these days.  I am sleeping what I would term "OK". 

Doc would be happy with that. 

All I ever needed was a ride to Walmart

We had a quiet night.  I just had weird dreams about the new washer. 

Apparently you can only buy the "new" kind.  I just hope it does the job for me. 

Facebook has become a bizarre place for me, full of images of Ron's Dad.  I am FB friends with one of Ron's cousins, and a nephew.  They are both putting up a lot of images which end up in my feed, especially as they have so many comments and "likes".  Strange.  I haven't seen the man in years, and now he's everywhere. 

From a salvation standpoint, I just don't know.  He certainly had fruits of the spirit.  But he never told me "Jesus is my savior" so who knows.  I am assuming he is in Heaven.  I am certainly talking that way to Ron, who has talked a little. 

I reminded Ron how much his Dad liked our cats, and Ron said he would enjoy all the ones we had in Heaven.  That was about it for our discussion.  I'm starting to think Ron did all his grieving years ago. 

I am a little sad, I will miss him, I'm really sorry things ended the way they did.  I am sorry his other children made him choose between us.  But, from his perspective, he did the right thing.  We can't even drive.  They (the other kids) could "help" and he made the "logical" decision.  It's still sad, though. 

All this because I wouldn't put Ron in a nursing home.  I tried to tell them, all I ever needed was a ride to Walmart.  That's it.  I didn't need butt wipers, people to bathe Ron, or anything like that.  I didn't even need people to feed Ron, although his Dad did a little.  I just needed people to be there, emotionally, for Ron and me, and to give me the occasional ride to Walmart. 

STUPID.  A whole family wrecked over selfish brats. 

But it happens a lot, I'm told.  Duty battles with selfish, selfish wins, and anyone who opposes the selfish path is made an "It" and blamed for every problem. 

STUPID. 

I don't think I have written that word so many times in a blog, ever.  I tell you one thing, I will not be going to that funeral because I would give his siblings holy hell for cutting us out.  Ron was crushed.  He got over it, but they hurt him.  Ron would call it my Mama Bear/Pit Bull side.  I am fiercely protective of Ron. 

I just wish I could "protect" him from alcohol.  [sigh]

Today's a day off, so to speak.  We need to go downtown and do some paratransit procedures to get Ron "recertified".  An evaluator basically has to certify that Ron cannot ride the bus by himself. 

He's blind.  He uses a wheelchair.  Of course he can't. 

In case you were ever wondering, Ron it totally blind.  He can't even see sunlight.  He can feel it on his face but that's it. 

This blog has a very bitter, angry, tone to it.  I didn't realize I was still so angry about Ron's family mistreating him.  I love Ron and would do nearly anything for him, and to know that people who claimed to love Ron not only wouldn't do anything, but actively tried to hurt him, just makes me boil. 

And I can't even talk to Ron about this. 

[sigh]  I'm going to go buy some Bible Promise books.  I want to hand them out at the hospital when Ron has his surgery. 

Monday, August 29, 2016

Ron's Dad died - a ticking blackout

Ron's dad died in a nursing home (I presume, I have very few details).  He was over 90 years old.  He had dementia. 

He was really the only relative of Ron's who was kind to me, after Ron's accident, who actually showed up and tried to help.  He used to feed my cat French fries and boy she loved them.  I never knew that about her.  He was very kind and gentle to me and Ron, but when forced to choose between Ron and his siblings, chose the siblings. 

I suppose he and his wife felt the siblings would be more of a "help".  As it turns out, when the dementia manifested the "kids" put both "Mom and Dad" into a nursing home.  In a bad area, at that. 

Even if I could crawl in Ron's head and see his issues, I wouldn't.  Right now he is stoic but he may have a blackout.  He had a blackout when Bubba died, grieving horribly.  Bubba is the black cat in my photo album. 

I wonder, what does this mean to me?  To his drinking?  I wish I knew, but then again, I don't. 

I slept OK last night and got up early for work.  I wore black shorts and a black t-shirt.  The driver was surprised we were going to work.  When there's a good chance I'll be crawling around on the floor, I'd better have something casual.  I checked all the machines, they didn't need much, helped Ron, he didn't need much, and stocked what I could.  We chatted at the other vendor and conducted business as usual. 

We had a little more time than we needed.  We came home and I took a nap.  Ron woke me up, talking on the phone.  I was furious but confined my "expressions" to shutting his door firmly.  When he got up, I asked him, nicely, to please shut his door if he's going to talk on the phone during my nap. 

We went to the appliance store.  I did a lot of research online, and came to the conclusion that all the washers and dryers offered had bad reviews.  The best I could find was 4 stars at $800 for one.  Even then, it didn't have a lot of reviews. 

I wish I could say I fell in love with One.  Found The One.  Can't say that I did, but I kept getting drawn to one unit.  It has about the same reviews as the others, people either love it or hate it.  Some had problems with it breaking.  Ron's solution to that was the purchase of an extended warranty. 

We got the pair and I hope they are reliable.  We spent nearly a month of my pay.  The salesman was very nice and I am glad he got our commission. 

We left and came home.  I did some housework, made Ron another protein shake, etc. 

He started drinking.  I hope this doesn't end badly.  He was already yelling nonsense at me a couple minutes ago, something about the water bowl (which I already filled). 

I feel like I am listening to a timer ticking down to The Blackout.  If he got that upset over a cat, he's bound to have some strong feelings about his Dad.  I know I would. 

Do I expect a blackout, or hope against hope he will restrain himself? 

Well, I had to tell him.  How awful for Ron if he heard about his Dad from someone else. 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Sunday

Well, I accomplished my goals today, I got some rest, and I did some housework. 

I slept in until 7:30 and woke up with a headache.  I did some organizing and cleaning (for once I had some energy), in spite of the headache.  Taking the Excedrin helped.  

I hung up my wet clothes (on things in the house) and let them dry, then hung them up on hangers and put them away.  I cleaned the litterboxes, kind of a pissy ambience to the house, and sorted through some clothes in the laundry room. 

I have some clothes on a rod in the laundry room.  They tend to be my "dressier" clothes, a suit, some blazers, stuff like that.  I got rid of about 1/3 to 1/2 of it.  I haven't worn the business clothes in over 15 years, and most of it was too small anyway. 

Funny to think, I thought I was "fat" when I was wearing a medium.  I bagged it up for the Salvation Army.  They can put it to good use. 

Ron mentioned the new appliances (washer/dryer) might not fit in the laundry room, so I did some measuring.  They'll fit. 

My front door is 30 inches wide, the laundry room 31 inches wide.  The units are about 28 inches wide. 

I took my pills when my head felt better.  Doc says it doesn't matter when I take them, as long as I take them daily. 

After that, I laid down for a nap.  It was a bit of a guess, because sometimes my antidepressant won't let me sleep, but the depression won out and I had a pretty good nap. 

I woke up and noticed I need to change the sheets on Ron's bed.  He bled all over them the other night and I'm sure blood has soaked into the mattress.  His mattress is in terrible shape, but he loves it, and as long as he's drinking I guess he can keep it. 

I won't go into details.  Ron knows I talk about a lot but there are some things he has asked me not to share.  I try to respect that. 

I watched Flipping Las Vegas, it's always fun to watch Scott blow up over the latest disaster.  I watched a little bit of  "Married at First Sight" and watching "Red", but not really into it. 

The cats are good.  Torbie stole my computer chair when I got up, a while ago.  The headache still won't die. 

I rolled up one of the outside blinds because the wind was making it bang against the house.  We can't have that, the last thing we need is a broken window. 

Anyway, that's it for now.  I plan to go to bed early. 

Saturday, August 27, 2016

A taste of the good stuff

The migraine stuck around through this morning, and I had to go buy 50 cases of inventory. 

"This" I thought, "Is going to suck"

I got up, got ready, and took some Excedrin.  I am still spotting so that makes almost 2 weeks. 

I haven't really thought I might be premenopausal, sure, I could be, but was I?  Now I'm beginning to think I am. 

Do I care?  No.  My only concern is that my cycle will become less predictable as I get closer to The End. 

I waited on my morning pills, knowing I would have a vomiting migraine if I took my antidepressant.  Nothing, nothing, is sadder to me than being depressed, with a migraine.  And I can't take my antidepressant because of the migraine. 

Our first ride was aggravating.  If there is room, the client is allowed to "transfer" from the wheelchair into a regular seat and ride along with the other passengers. 

I opened the door so Ron could transfer, to find a young man sitting there glaring at me.  I asked him to move over so Ron could sit in the cab (I could have been nicer). 

"He be in a wheelchair.  He can stay in it" the young man replied.  I was furious. 

"Fine" I replied, and slammed the door.  The guy had a tantrum because I slammed the door, I could have hurt him, etc.  I made sure to check he didn't have anything sticking out before I shut the door. 

The driver was an immigrant, one of those guys who defers to everyone and won't set any rules.  So he made Ron ride in the back. 

The young man continued to tantrum.  He finally calmed down and his grandmother (?), riding next to him, tried to work him up again by telling him it wasn't worth it, calm down, in such a way as to get him upset again. 

He said that was "just a taste" of what he could do and he was "fine now" he was going to "give it to Jesus".  Yeah, right, I thought.  If you're a Christian you have a terrible witness, refusing to move for a blind man in a wheelchair and then having a tantrum like that. 

Then the grandmother proceeded to tell him she had been right about his ex girlfriend, she "had a weight on her" and "Was fooling around with that baby daddy", etc.  It's like she was trying to get him to blow.  I just couldn't understand her "logic".  I was so happy to get out of there. 

I went to the warehouse and looked around.  I decided to get some powdered peanut butter powder.  I have heard good things about it online and decided to try it with my soy protein powder to make some shakes for Ron. 

Ron will drink a protein shake if 1.  It doesn't have lactose (which cuts out all the whey and casein ones) and 2.  It tastes good.  I wasn't sure how it would taste but I decided to give it a shot. 

I made him a vanilla/pb shake later and he loved it.  He drank nearly the whole thing, getting an easy 30 grams of protein, so I'm very glad I did it.  Ron is going to need a lot of protein before and after his surgery.  Not to mention all the blood he lost this week, he's got to replenish that. 

So, back to work: I got everything to work, into the building.  I did my stocking, including the coffee machine, and made the machines look good.  I recruited Ron to help me stock the pastry.  I have to bend over to stock, but he can just do it straight from his wheelchair. 

We finally finished.  We went home.  I took my morning pills, a nap, and then a shower, because I had gotten pretty sweaty working.  I put a fan in the bathroom to help it vent. 

We went to Sears and looked around at the washers/dryers.  I am not excited about buying a new one, I worry it will be a piece of crap, but I don't have a choice.  My washer is on it's last leg and the dryer won't dry.  It works, it just doesn't heat. 

I found one I noticed last time.  It is HE, which I have heard bad things about.  It has very mixed reviews (the washer), people either love it or they hate it.  Everyone, though, loves the dryer.  That's good to know. 

I finally bought a decent set of cotton sheets (well, Ron bought them), and hung them on the back of the wheelchair.  They are 300 count, 100% cotton.  That should work. 

I am tired of my cotton/poly sheets.  They don't breathe and I feel suffocated.  I will take whatever I can get to help me sleep better. 

Years ago, about 20 years in fact, I worked at a high end linen shop.  It really spoiled me for good towels and sheets.  Before, I never knew of cared what I was using, but after I had a taste of the good stuff, I was hooked.  I tend to have 1 set of nicer sheets that I literally wear out. 

One thing I found upsetting, when I got my new bed, it is 9 inches deep (the mattress), so my old sheets didn't work anymore.  My old mattress was only 4 inches deep so any sheet would work.  I might as well donate them, I guess.  After I check them out and make sure they are OK to donate. 

I am hard on my toys. 

The mall was crazy, very loud and overwhelming.  We bought some dinner at Taco Bell and ate it in a rush.  Both Ron and I were really happy to get out of there. 

Our ride was surprisingly on time, considering it was later in the day on a weekend.  We had a straight ride home. 

I am doing some laundry in my old washer (it usually works, but has "not worked" enough for me to realize I need a new one), mainly my new sheets. 

We don't have any trips for tomorrow so maybe I will sleep in, and then work on house cleaning and organizing.  I'm not sure but I'll tell you. 

You can always count on me to tell you! 

Friday, August 26, 2016

Dropped his fork

Migraine today. 

Woke up OK at 3. 

Went to work at 4. 

Worked my butt off, got delivery, came home. 

Took a nap, woke up with migraine. 

Went to the bank did banking. 

Showed Ron's "enabler" (the guy who helps him get vodka) a photo of the kitchen after Ron's blackout.  He almost dropped his fork. 

Ate dinner with him and Ron, came home. 

The headache is bad enough I took some Phenergan, hopefully that will help. 

Going to bed. 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

3 card monte

Work went OK yesterday.  We went to the warehouse first and bought 25 pounds of coffee, then we went to work.  It took a while. 

After we came home, Ron "promised" me a "quiet night" and was quiet.  He still says he has "solved" the whole falling-off-the walker issue by saying he will simply sit on the floor when he drinks, instead. 

Not really a solution, reminds me of 3-card monte, where the card gets shifted around and around.  He's attacking symptoms and not addressing the real problem.  But I leave that to God.  The more I nag, the more he will resist admitting he has a problem and proving me "right". 

Today we went out for breakfast.  We have to get up at 2 AM tomorrow so it's going to be an early night.  Breakfast went fine except for when Ron had to use the toilet.  I pushed him into the men's room, up to the handicapped stall.  Ron jiggled the handle and some guy started yelling he was in there.  Ron asked him if he could move to a regular stall, as he was in a wheelchair (which I'm sure the guy could see), and needed to use the toilet.  The guy said no, and got a real attitude (I think because I was there). 

I was furious but I wasn't going to let Ron have an accident because someone was unprintable.  I took Ron to the ladies room.  There was a woman in the handicapped stall.  She was not disabled.  AGH!  Ron was the only disabled person in the entire restaurant. 

She was nice enough to hurry it up and make way for us, so I pushed Ron in the stall and guarded the door.  Ron took care of his business and everyone's happy. 

I am not sorry.  If you keep my husband from using the men's room I will take him to the ladies.  And I won't be sorry about it, I will shove him in there and let him do what needs to happen. 

I make no apologies.  If we can have transgenders in the ladies room we can certainly have a blind cripple. 

Our handyman came out, and is in the process of fixing up the bathroom ceiling mold/paint issue.  He cleaned it with mold killer and bleach, is going to use mold killing primer, and will then put a regular bathroom top coat. 

He's at the store, getting the paint, because, as I told him "I only have orange paint" (for the house).  Orange paint in a light blue bathroom would be horrible. 

"Ron wouldn't mind" said Greg.  I had to laugh.  He's right. 

I feel bad, though, I forgot to give him a Gatorade.  I hear thunder so I'm glad he is working inside today. 

So, probably no nap today but that's OK.  I will get a load off my mind and that's more important. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

A bloody blackout

It looked like a crime scene, a huge pool of blood, spatters, and a smear headed up the hall in my direction.  I followed the trail to Ron's room and found another, wide, smear on his door.  Ron was covered in blood and looked like a murder victim. 

He fell of his walker, during a blackout.   

I got him up (he was awake, sober, and totally unaware of the carnage), and got him in the bath.  When he got out, the bath was red.  He cut the back of his head.  It's scabbed over already.  You only have a 4 hour window to sew up a laceration, if you wait too long it's just too late.  So it will have to heal up naturally.  Ron will just have to be careful brushing. 

Ron would say he was kidding, but he blamed me for the blackout "You wouldn't watch a movie with me.  You better watch one tonight or I'll have another one".  That sounds an awful lot like blaming, and threats. 

After the bath, I began the mop.  That took a while.  I used Lysol lemon something-or-other.  It did the job, it just took a while. I had to change the mop water as it got bloody. 

I kept thinking this is what a family of a murder victim must feel, as they clean up the blood.  Some came off in large flakes, some just dissolved on the mop.  It was taxing. 

I poured out the last bucket of blood-water and rinsed my mop, storing it in the usual spot. 

I was sweaty, and due for a shower anyway, Ron had finished in the bath.  So I had my shower.  Then I dried off and did my God Time.  I'm still on my cycle, it has been over a week now (mostly daily spotting). 

Ron just told me he has learned he will sit on the floor when he drinks, not the walker.  He is teasing me about hitting him last night. 

And the day has only started. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

My cats almost murdered my driver

The cats have a contest, who can scent mark Ron's walker.  They rub their faces and bodies all over the seat and handles, claiming Ron as their personal human, go away other cats.  I catch them at it several times a day. 

I never thought much of it. 

Then, today. 

Our first driver put the walker away and began wheezing and coughing.  "Do you have a cat?" she asked in a choked voice.  Yes.  "Oh, that's it".  She put the windows down and hung her head out the window, coughing, wheezing, and sneezing.  I felt so bad for her. 

She had another pickup and managed it very professionally, still ailing.  I suggested it might be dander on the walker and she used some hand sanitizer. 

She coughed and wheezed all the way to Walmart.  By the time we got out, the hives had started.  I felt so awful, lower than the lowest worm, my cats were torturing this poor woman. 

I will never mock a person with allergies, again.  I never knew someone could have a cat allergy like that. 

I put Ron in the kiddie cart and we began shopping.  He wanted a lot of stuff, duct tape, cat treats, etc.  He wanted Tylenol and other things. 

I wanted an over-the-door shoe organizer, for the bathroom.  Not because I have a lot of shoes, but because I wanted to organize my "stuff" - pads, tampons, cleaning products, makeup.  All of it can go in a pocket and into organization. 

I also got some small milk crates because I find a million uses for them.  Today's went to organize my protein bars.  I also had to get some LED lights because my bathroom light fixture had burned out.  It's a big hassle to take the glass off and replace, I have to climb up on a stepladder, on the top step, reach up 7 feet in the air, and try not to fall off as I do it all. 

I did not take my morning meds (read: Haldol) until AFTER I had done my "ladderwork".  Once I got all 4 bulbs installed, the glass secured, and off the ladder, I was happy.  It looked good. 

Then I took my morning meds.  Of course the antidepressant kept me from taking a nap, or maybe I am still a little manic, but I couldn't sleep.  I got up and did the over-the-door thing, and cleaned up the bathroom a fair amount.  I even got some stuff done in the garage. 

Ron and I went out to lunch and had a pretty good time.  The driver was not allergic to cats, happily.  She is very nice and I like her. 

When we got home I took my PM meds (read: lithium and Depakote), still not tired, had some energy so I did more cleaning and organizing.  I am hot, sweaty, and tired, but I got a lot done. 

My slow feeder cat feeder came today and I tried it out with Torbie.  I put treats in it and she had a lot of fun fishing them out. 

Ron and I had our "I need some personal time" argument.  You know, the one where he says lets do lots of stuff together and she says I need some personal time.  Then he objects and goes to the name calling and I don't love you anyway, etc. 

I do need some me time.  I can't spend every minute with Ron or I'd go nuts.  I remember years ago, our youth pastor had "The Book of Questions".  It was designed to provoke discussions.  One of them asked if you had to be on a remote polar base, for a year, with someone, who would it be?  The pastor said it would NOT be his wife because it would be too much togetherness.  He ended up getting divorced, years later. 

Now, neither Ron or I are planning on a divorce, but I need a little more space than he does.  Normally he understands that.  But I don't want to spend all day with him and then watch a movie, when I am having a mixed/depressed episode.  Yuck.  Catch me when I'm manic and we'll have a great time. 

Tomorrow we go to work, but it won't be a horrible day.  In the meantime, I will burn off what's left of this manic by cleaning and organizing.  I have a lot of trash at the curb already.  I hope someone takes the old TV.  It is a good TV.  It is a low-def, "old school" TV.  It's just too bulky to store in the space I have.  My garage is already so full I had a hard time finding the shower bench (I need that after Ron's surgery).  I finally did but that's a sad statement.  A shower bench is a pretty large item. 

Use it while I have it (the energy).  That's my motto, so off I go. 

Let's see if Ron will deign to talk to me about the slow feeder. 

Monday, August 22, 2016

Way more personal than it should be

I like to change my tampon right before I go to bed.  That way, as I sleep, I'm leaking into a fresh one, not a half-full used one. 

You can imagine my shock and horror as I pulled the tampon out, only to be attacked by a giant blood clot (at least 2 T).  It hung on the end of the tampon for a moment, then made a dive for the toilet seat.  From there, it began a slithering journey towards the floor.  I managed to catch it with a paper towel and get it thrown away, then cleaned everything up. 

Way more drama than I wanted.  My cycle had been oddly light this time, I chalked it up to premenopause.  I was half right. 

Apparently this is normal, and not a cause for concern, as long as it isn't happening a lot, every cycle.  It isn't.  This happens, for me, every couple years, lately.  Feb 2012 was so bad I still wonder if I was pregnant.  I won't know until I see God. 

So, I basically evicted the whole cycle into a massive blood clot last night.  Now I'm back to a very light cycle but I still wonder if I have any monsters lurking in there. 

Sorry if I offended you.  I found it significant so I thought I'd share.  Hey, at least I didn't take a photo of the thing - which some women do, and post it online.  YUCK. 

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, I kept getting up to pee, and then I overslept this morning.  I took my shower and did my God Time later.  I was really glad I had shaved my legs yesterday so I didn't have to "fool" with it today. 

I managed to organize the garage a little better to give Ron more room for his wheelchair. 

I got dressed (black capris, black t-shirt, white quarter crew socks, steel toed dark gray sneakers), and headed off to work.  It wasn't raining thank God.  Ron hates to get wet.  I don't really mind if it's a warm rain. 

We got to work and stocked.  Sales had picked up so I was pretty busy filling them up.  Then some people came in with a projector and started giving a "White belt lean sigma 6" training.  Apparently, last year we were dead last in the nation.  Now, we are 13 out of 67.  The talk went on and on. 

Our sandwiches hadn't arrived yet, we were a little worried.  Ron went off in a corner and called the deliveryman.  No answer.  Ron called the boss.  I don't know what happened but they sorted it out in a couple of minutes. 

The deliveryman was pretty confused but eventually we sorted it out.  I went in and stocked the food machine, which was right next to the projector screen.  That was a little odd.  I waited until the speech was over before I serviced the coffee machine. 

Once I got that done, I was ready to go.  Ron needed a little more help so I did that.  I am gradually doing more and more of the heavy lifting for him.  If he gets the surgery, it's good practice.  If he doesn't, it's preventive medicine. 

Ron does not need to be doing any heavy lifting. 

More people filed in and they began another training.  Oh, boy.  Happily it was time to go so we left. 

We had a straight trip home in a "short bus".  The driver offered to push Ron up the driveway, but I told him what I always say, it's good exercise. 

I took a nap but Ron made some noise so it wasn't the most refreshing.  Most annoying, he got a piece of plastic caught in one of his walker wheels.  It make annoying sounds as he pushed it around the house (or while he sat on it and rolled himself, he does both).  When I got up, I fixed it. 

Still pretty depressed and I expect to be, for a while.  I hated up a frozen lasagna for dinner.  Ron didn't want any and accused me of being "a food pusher".  I just told him "I'm trying to get you to eat more protein" which is true.  He's over 60.  If he has surgery he will need a lot of protein to heal up. 

But, try to tell him that. 

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Sunday

We had a pretty easy day off. 

I got up about 7:30, with a headache.  I got into my aspirin and drank a diet soda, and went back to bed.  I couldn't sleep, but I felt better in about 20 minutes, so I got up. 

I took my shower and did my God Time, but I didn't eat or take my pills just yet.  Ron was taking me to a cheap hamburger place so I waited. 

I really like the space I cleared out in the front room.  I was going to put a treadmill in that space, but I like it so much I think I'll leave it. 

Eventually, I will figure out how to take the photos off my phone and put them online.  Then I can post a few. 

One important thing, since Ron has mobility issues and I can fall over a quarter, we don't have any throw rugs, just carpeting in the bedrooms. 

I fed Biscuit and Baby Girl (although I know Torbie gets into it too), threw away their old food, etc.  I looked at the front room and tried to decide which things I would organize when I had the energy. 

As our pickup time approached, I loaded a whole days' worth of medication into a ziplock and stuck it into a pocket.  I needed to take my meds, nothing to prohibit taking them all at once, to quote Doc "I don't care how you take them, as long as you take them every day". 

Ron wanted to bring the walker because we had a chance of rain.  He was worried a wheelchair would make it "harder".  We went out a little early to wait on our ride. 

He told me he will probably have the surgery when the date arrives.  It has to be his decision.  I don't want to push him into the wrong thing.  I gave him both sides, and he said he wants to get better, but later he said he is worried... so I don't know. 

Best case scenario, having Ron "Down" is going to be a hardship for both of us.  I will lose transportation and a companion, Ron will lose companionship and work.  Worst case Ron can't work at all because he is paralyzed or dead. 

Although, Ron did "promise" me he wouldn't die during surgery.  If he has the will to live I think he will do better. 

We went to the food place, they were having a $3 special: sandwich, fries, drink, and an apple pie for $3.  That is probably their cost.  Ron got the fish and I got the burger.  The burger was pretty good.  Ron "let" me have his apple pie, making an ironic comment about how he isn't helping my weight, and finished his food. 

I finished most of mine, took an enormous handful of pills, and ate a few bites to wash it down.  "I'm interested" I told Ron "To see how I react.  I will either pass out or get a lot of energy". 

I has some waves of fatigue but overall a lot of energy, considering.  When we got home I laid down and had a pretty good nap.  The cats didn't join me but I managed anyway. 

Biscuit did sleep in "his" spot on the floor, between my bed and the door.  He's sleeping behind me right now, and it's because he wants to.  I already gave him his supper. 

Biscuit is pretty much a perfect cat, a nice big cuddly boy who doesn't mind a hug.  When I do pick him up for a hug, he purrs in my ear for a couple minutes before wiggling to get down.  I try to put him down before he wiggles.  He only has one flaw, he is sloppy about cleaning his butt.  Other than that, perfect. 

Torbie is pretty perfect, but she doesn't like being picked up.  She wants to cuddle on her terms, which generally involve walking around on my chest as I'm falling asleep.  I have a bruise on my breast I can only attribute to Torbie, based on the location.  She also likes to rip up my hospital bag.  Loves to sharpen her claws on it.  The poor thing has strings hanging off all over.  The bag, not Torbie. 

Baby Girl is very aloof but can be surprisingly cuddly when she wants to.  She tends to be more of a loner but will lounge on Ron's leg as he lays in bed.  She slept with me the night Bubba died.  She has glorious, very talkative, meows and is very vocal at times.   We like it. 

When I got up I attacked the front room again while watching "Rush Hour".  I noticed a horrific stench coming from one of my bags, and tracked it down to a box of tampons.  An old man had been across the aisle when I was tampon-shopping, and crowding me, so I had picked up the first box of "super" I found.  It turned out to be the scented kind, which I never use. 

Now, I don't really want to return them.  It's a hassle.  But the smell is so bad, I don't want to put that into my privates.  That has got to be unhealthy.  Not to mention other people will be able to smell it "Heather's on her period".  No thanks.  So I found the receipt and taped it to the box, then put it back in my Walmart bag.  I will return it and buy a box of plain supers. 

I had a lot of drink mix, which I put into a little milk crate I had.  I cleaned out another cabinet in the kitchen and got rid of some expired food.  Some of the stuff is still good, but not for long.  If I want to eat it, I need to do it in the next month or so.  I put that stuff in a special location.  Last week I had an "almost" expired can of soup and it was very good.  The carrots were very mushy but I like carrots either way. 

I put my "new" canned food into the now empty cabinet and talked with Ron about the garbage bags.  We don't like the kind that have the strong-flex whatever, because they hug the garbage can too tightly, making it hard to get them out without ripping.   We're going to go back to the old kind when we use these up. 

I just need to clean the litter box before I go to bed.  That's about the only bad thing about having inside cats, the litter box, but I'd much rather scoop than have some poor-half-dead feline come crawling in through the cat door again.  That was horrific and I hope I never repeat it. 

Hopefully tomorrow we will get the letter for Ron to have his "interview" at paratransit.  It's part of the "recertification" process, annoying but necessary.  Ron's going to call and verify the letter didn't get lost. 

We have "not gotten" mortgage statements, etc., so I know it can happen.  I just want to get all this stuff cleared up before/if Ron has his surgery. 

Saturday, August 20, 2016

I'll take it

I've had a bad headache all day. 

I didn't sleep well.  I didn't even nap well. 

We had a long day.  We went to the warehouse and got 50 cases of merchandise, then went to work and stocked it, and stocked it, and stocked it.  Then, my favorite game "Stuff it all in 34 square feet of stockroom". 

We came home, I tried to nap but couldn't.  Long day.  Head still hurts, I'm tired, I'm depressed.  I didn't even get my God Time. 

I also figured out that Tylenol doesn't do jack diddly for my headaches.  I am better off taking aspirin.  Good to know.  Good thing I have plenty of aspirin. 

It wasn't a total loss, Ron was pretty nice to me all day, Biscuit got in my lap twice, and Torbie slept with me. 

I'll take it. 

Friday, August 19, 2016

A black guy with a gun

I woke up before my alarm with wracking cramps.  Guess my period decided to get down to business.  It likes to spot for a couple days, then flood.  Happily I didn't have to do any laundry. 

I had a really weird experience at Walmart today.  We went, got some things, and were waiting outside.  Ron was sitting in the kiddie cart (the one with the blue plastic seat on the back), his walker folded up in the shopping cart basket.  I was wearing my "over the regular glasses" sunglasses. 

We saw some young black men come out of the store.  They were tall and muscular.  A white guy approached them, heckling them, making feints like he was going to hit one of them, and taunting them to fight.  The black guys kept telling him to leave them alone. 

The white guy kept bothering them.  The black guys walked off across the parking lot, and the white guy followed them (I didn't know that). 

As we were leaving, the driver said "OMG, he has a gun!  He just pulled a gun!"  One of the black guys, tired of the taunts and feints, pulled a gun on the white guy and was telling him to leave us alone.  I couldn't blame him.  The gun was probably illegal but clearly the guys needed it. 

The white guy finally stormed off down (a road), carrying his backpack.  He was clearly homeless. 

I told Ron either 1 of 2 things had happened, either 1.  He was trying to provoke a fight so he would go to jail and have a place to stay for the weekend.  or 2.  He was mentally ill, manic, and off his meds.  I am inclined to believe the latter. 

Once or twice, before diagnosis, I picked fights with people (nothing like that, it was verbal), and it wasn't pretty.  I didn't like that about myself. 

But man, that white guy was just boiling with anger.  I was glad he wasn't pointing it at me.  He was, in my opinion, a lot scarier than a loaded gun.  And I've had a black guy point a loaded gun at me (see September 2012 blogs for that). 

Glad to get away from all that.  This world is getting crazier. 

Ron just reminded me I forgot to get a new shower curtain and rod.  Yes, that was the whole reason for our trip to Walmart.  Yes, I feel foolish.  No, I didn't put it on the list.  I got everything on the list, I just forgot to get the shower curtain things. 

After all the drama at the Walmart, I was ready for a nap.  I slept pretty well and no nightmares this time.  I did have an odd time-travel dream where I was trying to prevent a catastrophe. 

I got up, did some cleaning.  I had a tract stuck to the floor, of all things.  Apparently the tract was on the floor under the bookcase.  I spilled a drink (I remember the cats knocked over one of my half-gallon drinks), and the artificial sweetener must have acted as some sort of glue.  I actually bought putty knives to use as scrapers. 

The spray cleaner didn't work with the scrapers.  The scrapers did get some stuff up, dry. 

I got my Trusty Lysol lemon and put that in my 5 gallon cleaning bucket, with my Libman wonder mop.  I slopped some solution on the problem and left it for a while.  After about 5 minutes, it came right off. 

Good.  Glad the scrapers did the job.  I hope I never need them again. 

After I finish the blog, the plan is to sweep the tile part (everything but the bedrooms) and mop it.  I have the solution all made up, and I have a little bit (tail end) of the mania. 

The depression is coming soon enough. 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Refrain from telling

Lately, if I bring up my illness at all, I "just" mention depression.  "I have some pretty bad depressions..."  People are fine with that, I'm fine with that, and to quote Clan of the Cave Bear, I don't have to lie,  but I can refrain from telling.

Why do I mention this?  Depression's back.  The mania lasted, what, a week?  I guess that is "Good" clinically.  Doc seems to not want me to have any manias at all.  Not so good: weeks of depression to come, unless God intervenes somehow. 

He might.  You never know. 

Once or twice I have been manic on my birthday, and had a great time. 

I slept OK but woke up exhausted.  I took my shower, did my God time, and watched a little TV.  I helped Ron get ready when he woke up (I prefer to get up hours before the pickup, Ron prefers a much later wakeup). 

We went out to breakfast.  "They" rode us around for a while.  We rode with a blind, diabetic, lady on dialysis.  Even worse, her husband was basically in hospice, dying.  She was, understandably, very broken up about it. 

What do you say to that?  Ron told her about when he died, how it wasn't a big deal, and how great heaven was for him.  Death is like a circuit breaker tripping, he told her.  They talked for a while and then we let her out. 

We got to our breakfast place and had a good time.  We had enough time, which is good.  They were only going to leave us there 20 minutes but Ron had them fix it. 

We were supposed to have the same driver, but they gave us a different one.  We picked up someone from dialysis (this is why I feel comfortable saying I will not do dialysis - I have seen probably thousands of dialysis patients and they are all miserable, sick, and weak.  No thanks), and dropped him off at a trailer I could only describe as a "hellhole".  It looked like a tear-down, surrounded by a hoard of useless crap.  I feel sorry for whoever will be closing out his estate when he dies.  They will have a horrific time cleaning the place.  Seats from a car mingled with broken (?) microwaves, sitting in the rain.  At least he didn't have a vicious dog. 

We almost ran over a terrier mix running loose, as we left the "subdivision", then we headed home.  When we got home I found a huge stray dog, with big sad eyes, moping in my yard, wanting to be my dog.  I shooed it off. 

Happily it stayed gone as I got Ron in the house, but I had Ron call animal control to pick it up.  Somehow Ron ended up dialing the non emergency police line, and our friendly neighborhood officer came by looking for the dog. 

Ron was absolutely horrible to this man back in 2011, during a horrific blackout.  He stood outside cursing the man for a good 20 minutes.  It was awful.  Then the poor officer got called back when we were robbed.  He remembered us.  I was very embarrassed. 

Ron called the station and apologized for his behavior the year before, and (liar!) said he had quit drinking.  "I meant" he told me "So much" We haven't seen him until today, when he called Ron, asking about the dog. 

Ron told him, reiterating it was a nice dog, probably spooked by the thunderstorms, and hoping that perhaps the dog could be scanned for a microchip and returned to his (?) owner.  Officer B said he would look. 

I took a nap, having a hard time falling asleep.  I was sorry I had when I had a nightmare.  I woke up feeling worse than when I had gone to sleep. 

Maybe I need to take my lithium before my nap.  I got up, ate some pizza, and took my lithium.  That helped, a little, with the depression. 

I worked on cleaning and organizing the front room.  I talked to Ron about our food options when we go to that conference.  Do we go out to eat at the restaurants, eat at the hotel, or bring our own?  Ron suggested we bring our own.  I agree. 

He also scared me today.  After he got his vodka delivery (!! not happy people are bringing him booze!), he took an empty vodka bottle and filled it partway with water.  "Can you help?" He asked, extending it to me. 

"Help with what?"  He showed me a 2-quart package of drink mix.  "I want to make some lemonade, can you pour the powder in the bottle for me?"  I supposed I could.  I did it.  He finished filling the bottle, took a drink, and proclaimed it "delicious". 

So now we have a 750 ml "Vodka" bottle, full of yellow liquid, sitting in the fridge.  Oh-kay.  He also uses empty (cleaned) vodka bottles to refill the cats' water bowls.  That really freaked me out the first time he did that. 

I teased him, if (when!) we get robbed again they will probably take all the "vodka", only to find that half of it is water.  Oh, well. 

Oh, and I had problems with the shower curtain rod falling down today.  I may get a new rod tomorrow, depending on how my shower goes.  Ron did call our handyman to come out and put some brackets so the rod won't fall down again.  I'm sure he can figure something out, and also paint the bathroom ceiling. 

Greg (the handyman) said he had his cataract surgery so he is good to go now.  Great.  It's good to have him back. 

I would also like to have him put a grab bar, and a shelf, in Ron's room, along with some blinds.  Ron really needs some blinds for his privacy.  He doesn't care, being blind. 

Well, I'm starting to get tired again so I'm going to try to go to bed early.  I don't want to spend all my energy sitting on the computer. 

Have a good one!  I pray you never get depressed. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Quarters wrapped in foil for the vending machine

I've been seeing ads for hazelnut chocolates lately, and they always remind me of my father in law. 

He was an illiterate carpenter who had to drop out of school at a young age to work in the fields and support his family.  He got married young and had 3 kids, moved to Houston and had Ron.  Good thing they lived close to the hospital, because Ron had many eye operations. 

When I met him, he was a thin, elderly man with beautiful green eyes.  He had tremors from Parkinson's but still loved building, and gardening.  We had gardening in common.  I was one of the few people who understood and appreciated what he did. 

After we moved to Houston, I used to give Ron's dad a blooming rose bush every Father's day.  He loved them, planted them, and they flourished.  I really cared about him.  Still do. 

Ron and his dad had had conflict over the years, but both were pleased I got along with the "old man".  Then, the accident. 

Most of Ron's family turned against me.  Just hours after the accident, "they" were already plotting to put Ron in a nursing home.  I was saying a bullet would be cheaper and more merciful.  It wasn't a good start. 

Most of them came to the hospital to "visit", yet spent the entire time gossiping with each other in the waiting room, with a cursory upstairs visit to gossip with the nurses.  I had to do a lot of disinformation - they told wild tales, full of inaccuracy, about his life, and his "medical history".  I was furious.  I really did want them out of Ron's life, truth be told. 

I was always happy to see "Dad" though.  He'd sit quietly with me until we could visit, then spend as much time upstairs (in ICU), as I did.  He'd bring me small gifts, too, worried I wasn't taking care of myself: quarters wrapped up in foil, for the vending machine; a half-eaten box of hazelnut chocolates (the ones you see on TV), etc. 

His other children forced "Dad" to choose between them and us, he chose them.  I don't blame them but I do wish I could have "kept" him. 

So, my day.  We were meeting someone for a refund (he never showed), so we slept in.  I got up, did my God Time, showered, did some laundry, did some cleaning, etc.  It is nice to have a little energy.  I'm still tired underneath it all but I suppose I have more will to forge ahead anyway. 

I even took out the 5 gallon bucket of rice.  As you know, I believe in having a little extra food on hand.  However, there's a right way and a wrong way to store something for long term.  Long term, you need a mylar bag and something called an oxygen absorber.  The oxygen absorber has to match the size of the mylar bag, and the product being stored.  Then, once you put the product into it, you have to heat seal it to keep the critters (ie roaches) out.  It's a lot of work but you can store stuff for 20+ years if you keep it at room temperature. 

I did it the wrong way.  I put a bag of rice in a five gallon bucket and sealed it.  Many people think that is fine.  It's not. 

I forgot about it and finally opened it the other day.  I had weird black powder all over the "floor" of the bucket, clearly some bug eggs in the rice had hatched.  Yuck.  So I put the whole bucket out at the curb with the trash. 

The trash took everything - but the bucket.  They took the lid off and left it there.  Maybe they thought it was paint or something (forbidden).  I threw the bucket in the much larger 95 gallon rolling trash can and hopefully they will take that.

I did all that and then we went to the warehouse.  I needed some supplies, Ron needed Diet Coke.  We got that and went to work. 

The snack machines were nearly empty, I had my hands full stocking them.  I used up a lot of inventory and did a not-so-imaginative double row each of plain chips (my best sellers).  I helped Ron.  I did the coffee vending machine.  I did everything I could. 

OK, finally done.  We left. Happily it wasn't raining. 

We had a good ride home with someone I like, and a nice driver.  It got a little crowded in the backseat when we picked up another person but we managed. 

Finally, home.  No nap but I am OK.  I did get to sleep late (7:30 AM!) this morning. 

I wasn't very hungry but I ate some pizza and took my meds.  The very last thing I am going to do is play games with my medication. 

No way, no how. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Crazy one in town

Well, that was odd.  Someone stole my garbage. 

I got up feeling as if I couldn't get any more sleep, but not really rested either.  I assume that is a medication/bipolar thing.  Especially since I'm a little manic right now.  I should be sleeping less, not more.

I did wake up at 3 am and told myself to go back to sleep, which I did.  I finally got up a couple hours later. 

Biscuit was being a pest, begging (he is the gray and white cat with the gray tail), so I told him "NO", sternly.  He kept begging.  I told him no a couple more times and he slunk off into a corner, crushed. 

I didn't mean to break his heart, I was just teasing him.  He didn't even come when I clicked the can of food, or when I poured it out.  He did get up on the table and watched Baby Girl eat (so I guess he was begging on her behalf).  He did forgive me but I felt like a monster. 

I took my shower, got dressed, and went to Walmart with Ron.  I got 36 cans of cat food, some soda, t-shirts for Ron, drink mix for both of us, canned food for us, etc.  We paid and had a good ride home. 

I put everything away and took a nap.  I had dreams I was organizing things.  I have interesting dreams when I'm manic. 

I decided to get up and tackle the front room.  I did that.  I got most of the major organizing, and moved a very heavy bookcase, to free up a lot more room.  I put a broken (missing a vital part) pressure cooker out at the curb, along with a very pretty solid wood end table.  I just don't have anywhere for the table and I would rather it go somewhere it will be used.  I had a plastic box without a lid, and I filled that up with moth-eaten knitting projects, bits of paper, etc.  I put that out at the curb, too. 

This whole process took hours.  But I'm very pleased.  It looks very good.  I just need to sweep and mop the floor, and do some more purging. 

I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff, I just have trouble mustering the energy to sort through it all. 

I took the rest of the garbage out, losing my flip flops in the mud (it was raining).  I managed, though, but I got mud all over my clothes as a result.  They all went straight into the washer. 

I put the trash out around 5.  I ordered a pizza about 2 hours later.  When I went out to get it, the pressure cooker, the table, and the plastic box were all gone.

Someone stole a box of garbage?  My trash?  I tried to remember if I had anything important in it, but was pretty sure I hadn't. 

When I threw something out later, I found "my" trash placed into the big, lidded, container.  So they didn't take the trash after all, they just dumped it and stole a plastic storage box with no lid, and a separate lid that went to another box that's gone.  It won't fit on the first box.  We did have the business name written on that, and the street address, but I'm not too worried.  What can they do with that?   To repeat, no financial information. 

For a while, about 10 years ago, I was growing potted plants in large pots.  However, if I missed one day of watering they would die in our heat.  So I had a lot of large, dead, plants, in pots.  It never failed, if I put one out at the curb, they would take the dead plant and the pot. 

So, maybe it's the same person.  I would hate to see their home. 

I ran out of room for the garbage, but I will get freed up tomorrow on trash day.  Then I am allowed 5 items (trash cans, items, or trash bags) next week.  I had my 5 items but someone stole 3 of them.  I wonder what they plan to do with them. 

Oh-kay! 

I'm not the only crazy one in town. 

At some point in this I checked the mail.  It was pretty standard stuff, except for something from Doc.  He was a little worried about Ron's A1C, at 5.74 it is a little high.  He suggested lowering carbs. Smart Doc. 

I told Ron, basically told him no bread or rice and he should be fine.  He has to be tip top if he has surgery. 

Ron's been doing fine today.  He likes to stay awake at night and sleep during the day. 

Biscuit is snoring behind me, on the floor.  It's adorable. 

Baby Girl got out when I came back in the house, but I caught her and brought her back in.  She wasn't too happy about that but she'll live.  I can't take a chance of her getting out and getting hurt.  I saw a big pit bull wandering the streets today. 

Something like that would love to cause thousands in vet bills, assuming she even survived. 



Monday, August 15, 2016

A lot to do

Today I woke up exhausted and reset my alarm clock, providing the absolute minimum of time before leaving.  I got up, talked to Ron a little bit, and took my shower. 

We left for work.  The first driver wasn't very cuddly at first but she warmed up to us. 

We got in there.  Things were pretty dead.  Soda 1 had a coin jam and we had to fix that, then deal with unhappy customers.  I showed them the flaw in it's design, and how the other machines do not have the design flaw, then explained it was better to use them instead.  They walked away happy.  Good. 

Ron complained his legs seemed weaker, a bad sign.  I just helped him.  He has to make any decisions about surgery on his own. 

We got it all done and came home.  I ate something and took a nap. 

I had a good nap and woke up with not one, but two cats in the bed.  Later on I found Torbie in the underwear drawer.  "I hope she doesn't have worms" I told Ron.  "I'm going to end up with vaginal worms".  LOL 

The answer to that is no, she doesn't, and no, I wouldn't anyway. 

She was so happy in that drawer, she only emerged for treats.  Oh, I'm tired, I keep misspelling words and fixing them. 

I did my God Time, glad I got that done. 

So, I got to work in the front room.  I have pretty much cleared out most of the area I wanted to get, and filled up the trash can to boot. 

It's been raining so I put the cat litter boxes (cardboard) out to be softened by the rain.  I can mash them up and either put them in the recycle can, my "standard" can, or the 95 gallon large can (which is pretty full).  Trash day is approaching, then I can start tossing more stuff. 

It's not like "Hoarders" where they haul of whole dumpsters of stuff, but I do have some stuff that is obviously not "mine". 

Some stuff, like my winter things, I'll store.  But what about half-knitted blankets?  Scrap yarn?  Other craft supplies?  Not as easy.  Notebooks are easy, I just put them up on the bookcase.  I have plenty of notebooks now. 

It's just a lot to do. 

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Sunday

I'm going to keep this short. 

  • I've had a nasty headache all day. 
  • Ron told me his legs are hurting when he lies down in bed.  So his back is getting worse.  Surgery is looking more and more imminent. 
  • Since I'm still a little manic, I managed to do some sorting/organizing/cleaning. 
Now I have a very patient Biscuit waiting for his dinner.  I'm going to give it to him and go to bed early. 

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Saturday

Ugh.  I'm really tired but I know a lot of you read on the weekend. 

I am still very mildly manic, but I got pretty tired at work. 

I had to get up very early, go to the warehouse, and buy supplies.  It was raining so I didn't get a lot of the snack products I would have, normally.  Also I had 30 cases of drinks so not a lot of room, really. 

The woman in front of me was ransacking her purse, pulling out various notebooks and paging through them, looking for money.  She didn't have enough money.  We ended up waiting about 5 minutes for her son to go get more out of the vehicle.  Annoying.  Why not count the money, locate it, and combine it all before we begin shopping? 

I paid, got everything loaded into the truck and off to work.  We got there, I unloaded the carts, and took them outside. 

Last time, Ron could only walk to the back of the truck with great difficulty, so I brought the wheelchair to the door and unloaded him there, then brought him to the tailgate.  He climbs into the truck bed and pushes the merchandise back to me, making it easier to unload. 

He is still able to do that. 

He worries he will not be able to help me if he has surgery, and doesn't want to have it as a result.  I would probably have to hire a different driver to help me. 

When it comes to work, I pretty much have myself.  Ron is good for transportation but the rest is on me. 

We got into work, he did his stuff, I did mine.  I did put all the waters in the fridge because I don't want him straining his back.  That would be Very Bad. 

We finished up pretty soon and Ron called for an early ride home.  Well, they don't do early rides home, but Ron cancelled our ride home and took a cab instead. 

Ron asked the cab driver how his night time partner was doing.  Apparently smoking and diabetes have caught up with him - he has lost most of one leg, and some of another, in a short period of time.  They are telling him this is smoking related. 

Smoking and diabetes are Very Bad.  Had my mother lived longer (and been diabetic, which I don't know), she might have had some serious problems of her own. 

I did mention to Ron, later, the cab smelled so much nicer without the "ashtray" ambience. 

We got home, I dragged the wheelchair out of the back (I put it in the cargo area) (I do a lot of folding, unfolding, and moving the wheelchair these days), and brought it to Ron, who got in it. 

We went into the garage and closed the door.  Then we opened the door to the house.  I keep the walker right next to the door to the garage and Ron "walks" in.  He takes a couple of steps, clutches the walker, and uses it to move further into the house. 

In the meantime I put the wheelchair away. 

I was pretty tired so I took a nap.  I had a good one, Biscuit joined me.  I can rate the quality of my naps by the cat companionship. 

Torbie, for whatever reason, is choosing to sleep on the floor, by the bedroom litterbox, and not in my bed anymore. 

I got up, fed Biscuit, and did my God Time.  I looked at Facebook and called my parents (Dad and adoptive Mom).  I gave them the scoop and hung up.  About that time Ron began pestering me to watch this "sure fire" "really good" movie.  He was really adamant. 

I watched it.  It didn't suck but it wasn't great either.  It was a pretty formulaic romantic comedy.  I am more into superhero movies.  Funny that Ron and I have reversed our roles. 

Then he wanted me to play "Poke Sallet Annie" for him.  I was fine doing that, but he wanted me to turn the speakers up very loud and listen to it with him.  I told him no, and walked out of the room.  I don't like that "weird" 60's music.  Yes, it must have been fun and interesting to you back then, but to me it is just weird and old.

I don't make him listen to Thi'sl (a gospel rapper). 

He got a little pouty and offended and went to bed.  Finally time to do the blog before I go to bed. 

We have tomorrow off and no trips planned.  Next week is supposed to have a lot of rain.  I am glad we got most of our important errands done already. 

Friday, August 12, 2016

It's an energy issue

I started getting manic last night.  Good. 

A small mania is really good.  A large one = hospitalization and clinical emergency.  One book on bipolar disorder said we were "touched with fire".  More like "play with fire". 

So, I'm trying to stay "warm" and catch up on housework.  I cleaned out a kitchen cabinet and sorted everything out by sell by date.  I will do more cleaning and organizing as I can. 

First, though, I had to get up at 2 AM and go to work.  We got the Dr Pepper delivery and stocked.  I did an inventory, I need pretty much everything.  Sales are down, but we still require inventory. 

It was a long day but we did it.  Ron started complaining his back hurt.  He attributed it to "too long in the wheelchair".  I disagree but didn't, aloud. 

He was VERY stiff as a result. 

He didn't need any additional help, but he was a lot slower and stiffer, moving. 

I hope he doesn't do permanent damage to himself.  I hear horror stories about "I waited too long for back surgery". 

After work, we went to the bank and deposited a lot of change.  I got paid (!) and we came home eventually. 

We ended up riding with the woman who manipulated us into buying her that brisket dinner, she ran ahead of us in line, and by the time we caught up she had ordered a $15 plate, turned around, pointed the finger at me, and said "They're paying". 

We had offered to buy a $7 sandwich, not a full blown meal.  Ron was very clear he would buy a sandwich.  Anyway, she did us a favor so I felt better about her, and she did a good job strapping the wheelchair. 

Some of the drivers (not lately) are lazy, and figure it is sufficient to put the brakes on the wheelchair and leave it unsecured.  It bounces around, falls, and rattles like a can of nails.  It is awful. 

Especially when I consider a new wheelchair is going to cost us at least $150.  So I am a little bit of a "bitch" about "making" them tie it down lately. 

Ron cannot get around in public without his wheelchair. 

We got home and I ate, took my pills, and took a nap.  I woke up around 4 PM.  Biscuit was draped over my leg, waiting for his dinner.  He had thrown up on the floor. 

Well, he does that.  It's not his fault, he's just bulimic. 

I fed him his dinner and he threw up again.  I told him to get it all out and then cleaned it up.  I would be worried if Biscuit was thin, but he's not - he's nearly 15 pounds.  He just does this sometimes.  It may be one reason he was dumped. 

I don't see it as a big deal.  It's funny, I think dirty diapers and infant/toddler care are just revolting and the worst thing ever, yet I regularly clean up cat puke and deal with a litter box.  People always say "It's different when you have them".  Well, I have cats. 

I still had some energy so I cleaned out a kitchen cabinet and sorted out everything by sell by date.  I was very proud of myself. 

"It's not a hoarding issue" I told Ron several times "It's an energy issue."  If I have the energy, I will absolutely clean and organize.  If I don't, if I'm depressed, I can't and the house looks like something out of Hoarders. 

Thank God I do get manias.  Life would be a lot harder if I didn't. 

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Four is enough

Ron and I argue about the Pepsi.  We can't buy it at the warehouse, so we have to make a special trip to buy it at Walmart, and it's so big we have to make a special trip just to buy Pepsi. 

I hate Pepsi.  I don't think it has a good taste at all.  Give me a Diet Dr Pepper anyday.  I will occasionally be found drinking a diet caffeine free Coke if I am watching my caffeine intake.  I had a couple today, for instance, but as a general rule: I hate Pepsi. 

I certainly don't see the point in making a special trip just to buy Pepsi.  Ron disagreed, so yesterday he scheduled a special trip to Walmart to buy work eight, six packs of Pepsi. 

We quickly determined that eight was way too many.  Four was enough.  I ended up taking out half the drinks before moving our box (we had brought a box for transport).  That way, I could move it safely without hurting myself. 

One thing Ron's whole back drama has taught me: once your back is gone, it's gone, and you are left with bad options.  I don't need that. 

So, we went to work.  We got to work later so we had to stay later, and we didn't get home until the afternoon.  I took a short nap and woke up around 3. 

I did my God Time and then we went out to dinner.  We had a pretty good time.  We had the same driver going there and coming back, and he was a nice guy. 

We didn't get home until almost 9, and then I had to get up at 5 this morning.  But first I had to throw Ron in the bath and scrub him, because he had a doctor's visit today. 

We got through late.  Everything was pretty civil until I told him I was very cold.  Could he turn the thermostat, or should I put on another blanket?  I added it seemed like a bad idea to use a blanket in the middle of the summer. 

Ron'd had some vodka by this point and he blew up at me, shouting and calling me names.  Funny, all the other times he'd told me to let him know, he didn't want to waste electricity, etc. 

I finally got to sleep, but late.  I got up late, with a headache, and didn't do my God Time.  I did take a shower, really happy I had already shaved my legs yesterday.  If head hair grew as fast as leg hair there would be a lot of very happy people. 

I got dressed and helped Ron dress.  This is why I get so annoyed at the paratransit renewal stuff - Ron can barely feed himself, yet they think he can get to and from the bus stop independently.  Thank God he can wipe his own butt. 

Anyway, I got him going, double and triple checked our papers, and got him outside for our ride.  The driver had transported Ron, by himself, years ago and had never met me.  He didn't know what to make of me at first but we were chatting away by the time he dropped us off. 

We got to the doctor's office, almost an hour early, and waited a while.  After about a half hour they took Ron's vital signs and put him in an exam room.  We waited some more. 

I read an article about caregiving for someone with diabetes.  Not really useful.  I looked at the photo book they have - diagrams of various body systems, so the doc can point out what is wrong with someone's system.  I reviewed the forms; in my portion, I had made Ron look like the appropriate train wreck. 

Paratransit, when they force you to renew your service, require you to go to your doctor and have him fill out 2 pages of paperwork, then write a prescription.  I imagine the doctors hate it almost as much as we do. 

So doc came in and we filled out the paperwork: endurance: poor, balance: poor, no vision at all, etc.  Why can't he ride the bus?  Because he is blind and in a wheelchair and has hearing loss on top of that.  You don't get much worse than Ron and still able to go to the bathroom on your own. 

Anyway, sorry to complain but it's frustrating. 

Ron had a whole list of questions for Doc today.  That was question one; question two was a series of questions about his back. 

Doc said it was probably OK to wait, but if he fell (and we know he falls during his blackouts) he could do permanent damage.  Doc also said "Everything going on in your legs right now is your back".  Ron had been complaining about leg pain right before he drank himself into his last blackout.  I thought that was significant.  They talked a little longer and Ron concluded he would wait on surgery because he is OK with his current level of functioning. 

That's Ron's call.  I'm not going to push him into surgery (and I probably could), only to have something go wrong and get blamed.  I have a friend, her husband blamed her for his "complication" and it ended very badly.  I don't want that in my own life. 

Doc very helpfully told me how social services would be sure to come out to my home, home health aides running around my house, etc.  I was horrified.  The last thing I need is someone taking pictures and writing reports. 

Third, Ron wanted a new wheelchair.  He had some questions about getting a new wheelchair and Doc answered them.  Then Doc went off and wrote up the prescription for paratransit, and one for a wheelchair.  Good. 

I had his "gal" copy the paratransit forms in case they "lose" them downtown.  She was happy to do it. 

It was funny with her, actually.  She came in.  She is pregnant.  She mentioned it to Ron.  Ron asked if, when she went into labor, she would have Doc deliver her baby.  She yelled "No!" 

Apparently Doc overheard the conversation and also said no.  I thought that was pretty funny. 

Can you imagine having to deliver one of your employees?  Seeing what you really didn't want to see? 

He did say he had delivered plenty of children.  But he's a family practice doctor. 

I prefer a doctor who works on a spectrum of problems.  I've seen him, myself, for a bladder infection (twice), and a sinus infection. 

Anyway, all done, we left. 

Ron had arranged for our driver to pick us up.  So he did that, and we went downtown.  Unfortunately, they are doing road work to get ready for the superbowl next year.  I hope our visitors appreciate all the effort Houston has gone to improve our roads. 

After some drama, we found our way there, he let me out, and I ran in to turn in the application/renewal form in person.  I didn't trust the mail and that is a sad statement. 

I went in, it was the same gal we had last week.  I made sure to thank her and compliment her hair.  She took out the form and examined it.  Looked good.  Then she stapled the prescription to it and set it in a filing system. 

I had been drinking Diet Caffeine Free Coke all morning, so I used the horrible ! public bathroom.  It wasn't too bad today.  Mainly it is a lot of homeless men wrecking the men's room. 

I went back out and called our guy to "make the block" and come get us.  He did that. 

We went out to lunch (after all the traffic drama I felt entitled).  The server was pretty bad, ignoring us, got my order wrong, etc.  I had asked for double sausage, instead of sausage and bacon. 

For whatever reason, the lithium allows me to eat certain foods.  I can eat patty sausage, and breakfast links, but not big links.  I can't eat bacon when I take my meds or I get really queasy.  So I had asked for double (breakfast link) sausage.  It came with sausage and bacon. 

I gave the bacon to our driver (he didn't complain, he loves bacon) and then politely asked the (other server who delivered my food) to fix my order.  They did.  It was on the ticket, double sausage, no bacon. 

After I told Ron, quietly, she wasn't getting a good tip, she did come by a few times at the very end of the meal.  Ron wanted to leave a 12% tip, but I talked him up to 15%.  It was very busy but that is still no reason to ignore your customers.  I think she was busy in the back doing "side work" - additional chores they assign the staff since they have them on the premises. 

But your customers should at least see your face, even if you are busy serving your other tables.  I don't think she will last long. 

Normally Ron is a very generous tipper. 

We left and came home.  Ron was in the wheelchair all day. 

He was able to get in and out of the truck OK by himself, but I "had" to put the wheelchair in and out of the truck bed.  Not a problem.  It wasn't even a problem when the wheelchair slid around some. 

I was fine grabbing a corner and hauling it to the back of the truck bed.  The wheelchair only weighs...let me see.  40 pounds.  So, not bad.  Here's a link to the wheelchair if you're interested, but Ron took off the leg rests.  Harbor Freight Wheelchair

We got home, I took out the wheelchair, and got Ron aboard.  We opened the garage door and I rolled him inside.  We closed the garage door and opened the door to the house (this keeps the cats inside).  Ron found his walker and began using it (we leave it directly next to the door). 

Sometimes, when we come home, Biscuit is on the walker.  He is pretty cute.  Ron has to chase him off but Biscuit doesn't mind. 

Then I took a nap.  We have to get up very early tomorrow so I want to get as much sleep as possible, while I can.  I took my medication first, and made sure to sleep on my left side so I wouldn't have any heartburn.  Not that it is a regular issue for me. 

When I got up, I still had the headache.  This month is just a bad one for hormonal headaches.  I start my period, probably, in about a week.  In the meantime I just have to endure ghastly headaches. 

Ron asked me if I wanted to get some medication to prevent them.  No, I told him. 

Birth control might help but it raises my risk of stroke, especially since I am fat, have a family history, and am over 40. 

Beta blockers might help, but one side effect is headaches!  That is just crazy! 

I might take some herbal stuff, I have to remember I am under a lot more stress lately.  Ron's back is a ticking time bomb, basically. 

I got him taking some Milk Thistle (good for your liver, according to certain studies), and Turmeric (lots of good stuff on it eliminating inflammation - Ron has arthritis in his back and his hand).  He has been a very good sport about taking them both.  Turmeric is also said to be good for the liver.  I have to assume Ron's liver needs all the help it can get. 

I found it interesting when Doc said a Neurosurgeon would want Ron to have surgery immediately, due to the leg pain. 

But right now Ron can get to the toilet on his own, wipe his own butt, and work a little.  He doesn't want to lose any of that. 

I can relate. 


Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Crisis bag

I told Ron about the dryer today.  He asked if I had checked the breaker.  It has power, I told him, it's just not drying.  I told him, short term, I am fine hanging things up around the house. 

I woke up at 4 AM with a migraine and it hasn't gotten much better.  I ate some pepperoni yesterday, full of preservatives and flavor enhancers.  I have to figure that's what did me in.

So, 4 AM found me, with a very excited Biscuit, getting a cold can of diet soda and my Excedrin.  I told Biscuit sorry, he'd have to wait.  I drank the diet soda (very cold diet sodas tend to help, maybe they activate my vagus nerve or something).  I told Biscuit I was sorry but it wasn't breakfast yet. 

I went back to bed.  I had a couple of symptoms, throbbing head pain on one side, and extreme gum pain.  My gingivitis was acting up again, but some of that was my fault. 

A while back, "they" came out with a study saying you didn't have to floss your teeth anymore.  However, my gums have been bothering me.  Last night I flossed, found some pus, and a lot of blood in between two teeth.  That's the area that's bothering me.  I rinsed it with some "natural antiseptic" (goldenseal root extract and other things) mouthwash and went to bed.  I woke up with it still bothering me.  And the migraine. 

So, clearly, I will be flossing now. 

I woke up a couple hours later - I'd had a very fitful sleep, tossing and turning.  But I got a little. 

I got up, fed Biscuit (! So happy to get his num-num!), and took my shower.  I didn't feel up for my God Time but I might do it later. 

I was pretty jittery from the caffeine in the Excedrin and got a little manic, but not bad.  Ron thought it was "cute".  May I always have "cute" manias. 

I got dressed and ready to go.  We had a trip to Walmart.  We went outside a little early and waited. 

We saw #2.  I talked to him the other day.  He dislocated his finger the day he called the ambulance.  He's going to freak when he gets the bill - our driver was charged $2,200. 

Anyway, he was friendly, chatting.  We told him how we put the cats on lockdown and he smiled when I mentioned Baby Girl.  He always liked her. 

Our ride came and we got onboard.  Ron likes to get out of his wheelchair and sit in a regular seat (transfer).  The drivers like it too because it makes less work for them. 

We got to Walmart.  Ron got out and sat in his wheelchair.  I didn't have a lot of choices on where to put him.  I could put him under the fan, or by the watermelon.  He didn't want to go by the fan so watermelon it is. 

I went ahead and got my stuff.  I got some "cycle" stuff for my hospital bag - I got some pads and tampons.  I tend to spot for a couple days before and after (pads).  I also got some of the Kotex "compax" tampons.  They are more compact and more importantly, I've used them.  I can use them, they work for my needs, and I can install one at 2 AM if needed.  Important. 

Crisis is the last time I want to be trying new menstrual products.  That includes cups, although I have one.  I want: reliability. 

I got a collection of cheap pens because I am always looking for one.  Right now they have a good assortment at good prices (back to school) so I might as well get them.  I also got some more PB Cookie Protein bars.  They do the job, I can take any of my pills with them, they are filling, taste good, and non headache provoking.   I put a package in my crisis bag. 

All good reasons. 

I got some more flossers, some for the hospital/crisis bag and some for the house. 

I got cat treats and $20.52 worth of Fancy Feast Salmon Feast in Seared Salmon flavor gravy.  Ooooh.  But they all love it.  I got 36 cans of the stuff, that's a little over 2 week supply.  I also got some small foam plates.  I use them to feed the canned cat food: I take a small foam plate, put it on the table, and open the can onto the plate.  I always have a little trouble shaking out the last bits because the cats are eating by then.  Even Torbie likes it, but not consistently. 

I got another pair of $8 plus size knit shorts because they are very comfortable, for my crisis bag.  I can also use them for working out,.  Yardwork, hanging out around the house, taking a nap when we expect someone over, stuff like that. 

I also got a little bit of potato chips and some ice cream. Blue Bell has something called "Cookie Two Step".  It has crushed oreos and cookie dough pieces.  It's pretty good, but I'm not up for it right now. 

Why must I always get the migraine on a day off? 

I bought some Diet Decaf soda for when we go to see Ron's doctor on Thursday.  I don't want him to see me at less than my best, and too much caffeine does not help my case. 

I also bought some bottled Diet Dr so I have something nice and cold to drink in the morning.  Normally I don't care about cold drinks but I seem to be getting a lot of headaches lately (who wouldn't?).  I might as well treat myself a little. 

Ron "lost" his deodorant and hair brush during his last blackout.  He has yet to find them again.  So I bought him a 2-pack (a lot cheaper to buy it that way) deodorant.  I had a hard time finding a basic plastic bristle hairbrush.  I finally got the last one.  I need another one for Ron's hospital/crisis bag.  Maybe I can look at Dollar Tree. 

I only had two bags of stuff, typing it out it sounds like a lot but you have to remember I bought a lot of small things.   

I paid, I forgot something but I forget what it was, but I remember being mildly annoyed when I got home.  Oh, wet wipes.  We could have used some more. 

It was the one thing I didn't put on the list. 

We came home and I put everything away.  About that time, the garage door guy called.  He was coming over, hours early. 

Well, we were home. 

He came out and put a strut, then did a lot of banging and power tools.  When he finished the door wasn't making the popping sounds when it opened.  Hopefully it is fixed, and more importantly, stays fixed. 

Ron wants to enter and exit the house through the garage, every time, so it needs to behave. 

It is hard for him to go up and down off the step, he doesn't use his mobility device for that, but instead chooses to "walk" (it you can call bent at a 90 degree angle "walking"). 

I am a little worried because he "forgot the receipt book" and Ron paid him cash.  I hope that doesn't come back to haunt us.  Ron did call the boss and tell him he had paid cash. 

Like I said, I hope that doesn't come back to haunt us. 

He said they would email me a receipt. 

After he left, I told Ron, we need to get the checkbooks (we don't have them here at the house) and pay with checks.  That way we have a paper trail in case there is any malfeasance or confusion. 

I could worry about that for a while, worst case I would pay it again and write a SCATHING review online. 

After he left I ate a sausage biscuit and took my pills.  Then I took a nap. 

The pills always help me rest if I lie down.  Otherwise I am pretty functional.  Ron woke me up, a couple hours later, yelling he had lost an open "piss bottle".  He likes to pee in 2 liter bottles (the juice kind, with the wide mouth).  I helped him locate it.  He had put the cap on and put it where it belonged, already. 

I felt it was a good indicator of his sobriety level.  Not good. 

He keeps bugging me to watch some movies and I keep reminding him I have a migraine. 

We get up early for work tomorrow, hopefully I will feel better by then.  I didn't eat much aside from the sausage biscuit (I ate Biscuit!) today.  But I have plenty of glycogen and fat to keep me going until tomorrow. 


"The perfect combination"

I didn't sleep well last night.  The Claratin was alive and well in my system.  It will probably come as no surprise to you that I would...