Showing posts from July, 2016

[bad word]

Yesterday I was so tired I didn't even do my God Time, much less my blog. 

I got up early and went to the warehouse.  All was well, except they were out of Coke.  We need Coke to run the business. 

So Ron talked to the driver and we went to the other warehouse.  I had to stand in line forever and then try to mush all the Cokes into the truck bed, amidst the other merchandise. 

Even "funner", I got to unload it all.  Knowing what I do now I will never allow Ron to help me unload, again.  Maybe light stuff like chips. 

I got that all put up on carts and pushed them into the building.  Fun times, especially in feels-like-100 hot sun and humidity. 

The extra trip to the other warehouse vastly cut into our stocking time, so I didn't even attempt to do snacks, I just focused on getting the inventory put up and helping Ron.  I reminded him, a couple times, we can always do it Monday. 

We had a couple of "bad marks" already and could not afford to get another…

Take it off of hold

Today was a long day, 12 hours, so I may be incoherent. 

I didn't sleep well last night and got up at 2 AM.  I got ready for work. 

Ron's legs were bothering him, a lot, so we decided to take the wheelchair.  Paratransit was able to adjust the trips to accommodate the wheelchair. 

On our first trip, Ron would have been packed in the back seat with 2 other people, so a good thing he was riding in his wheelchair.  They rode us around for an hour before taking us to work. 

Our delivery was supposed to come between 6-8 AM.  It didn't come until after 10.  It was so late we had to suspend our pickup from work "Put the ride on hold". 

In the meantime, we did all the stocking we could.  Ron's leg has bothered him all day, nothing I could do about that. 

He drank a lot around dinner but I'm getting ahead of myself. 

We finally left work around 11 or so.  We went to the bank to deposit some change.  We had a good ride.  All the drivers were nice about strap…

Lazy and boring

I was lazy and boring today. 

About the only thing of interest, Ron has had me checking his blood sugars.  So we found out it went to over 180 after eating fried rice and a skillet meal from Denny's.  We also found out it apparently isn't affected by alcohol (?).  I checked him before and after vodka (about half an hour after the vodka) and the numbers were about the same or a little lower. 

I have plenty of test strips and always happy to stick him.  My hands shook a couple times but I got the readings every time.  His sugars are still a little high after eating, clearly, but the fasting sugars are in the 80's which is good. 

He's more a starting type 2.  We will see what Doc (almost typed that as God) says when we see him to review Ron's test results. 

Ron requires a deeper stick (almost at the deepest setting), and a wider lancet (the mean kind).  He doesn't bleed otherwise.  He has more meat on his fingers than I do.  I have longer, slender, fingers, a …


"I can't help him" the driver told me "Or I'll get in trouble."  I stared at Ron, struggling to move himself on his rolling walker (he was sitting on the seat).  I couldn't believe it.  I ended up helping Ron instead. 

The driver had taken "You can't transport someone sitting on a walker" to mean "You cannot help someone on a walker" and was forcing the clients (there was another one who was even worse off than Ron) to do for themselves.  I came very close to calling in a formal complaint on the driver, but Ron said he would "fire himself". 

Maybe when someone falls off their walker and hurts themselves, he will understand the difference between assist and transport.  And I thought I was literal! 

I'm still upset about that. 

I got to sleep in and wake up at 6 AM.  I took my shower, did my God Time later, and off to the warehouse.  I got 3 cases of chips.  We had to wait an hour on our pickup. 

We had the drive…

"You were having that good sleep"

Today was a little bit crazy. 

I got up at 4 AM and got ready for Ron's exams.  I got him up and dressed, made sure he was wearing his sandals, etc.  He got in the wheelchair and off we went to the hospital. 

It was very nice and they had complimentary drinks and fruit salad, for those interested.  They even had a fruit-infused water (it had melons, cucumber, mint, and citrus - I had a glass and it was interesting, but I didn't have another). 

Ron and I filled out some paperwork and paid the copay.  They had us wait for a while.  After about a half hour, they took us back to ultrasound.  It was a little after 8 AM.  She had him take off his shorts (glad he had clean underwear) and lie down on the bed. 

I've seen Ron get leg vein ultrasounds before, twice.  It was pretty much the same thing this time.  At one point he told her "That's what has been bothering me, right there" as she pressed the wand against his foot.  Good, maybe there is something relevant…

I need to go to bed

I woke up with a headache.  WTF, I thought.  I just finished my cycle.  I'm supposed to get the headache before the cycle, not after. 

I took some Excedrin, got up, and took my shower.  I did my God Time later.  God understood. 

We went to work, which was pretty uneventful.  The other vendor was there and we showed him the tires on the handcart.  We replaced the inflatable pneumatic tires, with a solid rubber "no flat" tire which has been great.  It only cost $40 and you bet it was worth every penny.  He was very interested. 

"I've used the cart" I told Ron "To carry 30 cases of Dr Pepper.  Not only that, I did 10 cases of bottled water on Saturday with no problem."  So, they work.  Glad I saw the tires on a Dr Pepper handcart, and glad Ron and looked into getting them for ourselves. 

That is a definite business "win". 

We had a long day at work and did everything.  Some of the things I do:

Help Ron "What's this?"  Help…

I'm just so tired.

Ron's MRI is scheduled for Tuesday.  It should be interesting.  He has plenty of hardware in his body so it will all be a very interesting photo. 

Artery graft
Clot filter
Hernia mesh
Hardware in right tibia (big bone in lower leg) holding his bone together

All of it should be fine but it will be an interesting amount of paperwork.  I have no idea what the copay will cost us. 

Not surprisingly, I've had a lot of depression and anxiety today.  Mainly general worries about just about everything. 

I slept OK last night, and got a nap today (no thanks to slamming doors, next door).  I'm as rested as I can be.  I even tried to get "another" nap a little while ago but the anxiety was too bad. 

Maybe I need to double check my pill organizer.  I just checked.  Nope, everything's fine.  I didn't put Vitamin E in one weeks' worth of pills, but I fixed that, and took a couple while I was at it. 

I forget I have a lot on my plate.  He's an alcoholic.  He…

"I know I'm being a pain in the ass"

Pretty tired, it's been a long day. 

As you know I didn't get any sleep the night before last.  Last night Ron woke me up accidentally. 

I was exhausted this morning, but my mood was OK.  Just tired.  I got my shower with a nice new bar of goats milk lavender soap I got from Swanson Vitamin. 

I dressed in my shorts, quarter crew socks, and a performance t-shirt.  Of course underwear and my steel toe sneakers. 

We went to the warehouse, they had water.  I bought 10 cases per Ron.  I didn't have much room for snacks after getting all his drinks, but I did what I could. 

I loaded the truck, unloaded the truck (Ron helped a little, as much as his back would permit - which was sufficient), got everything on hand carts, and into the building.  I did my stocking and helped Ron with his. 

Pretty soon we were done. 

I took Ron out in the wheelchair, which he appreciated.  He isn't up for walking more than, say, 20 feet at a time. 

As a result, I am glad he keeps his alc…

All the sleep I can get.

I finally decided I would go demento if I stayed home.  1.  Neighbor kids in #6 screaming outside my bedroom, so no chance of a nap.  2.  Ron was raucous.   3.  Baby Girl had taken over my TV chair and I didn't want to move her. 

I tried to take a nap, it didn't work out.  Torbie did get on my chest and give me cuddles, though. 

I took a shower and got dressed in my quarter-crew socks (a little over the ankle), baggy cotton shorts (knee length), and a baggy black t-shirt.  I brought my bus pass holder, minus my debit card and work ID.  I brought a little cash, my pocket knife, and my cell phone.  I wore my cheap $10 sneakers, that look like exactly that.  In the ghetto, you tend to be rated on your footwear - the more expensive your footwear, the higher your rating on the social scale and the more likely you are to be mugged. 

My most expensive footwear consist of a pair of steel toed sneakers I wear to work.  $30.

I decided I wanted some Pupusas.  There's a place near …

"Don't pay attention to what I say"

Ron woke me up sometime last night.  He had, he told me, extreme "zapping" in his leg and he couldn't sleep. 

He was sorry, he informed me, but he would be drinking well over his limit and would almost certainly have a blackout. 

Why did you tell me this, I replied.  I'm trying to sleep and that's just....

"Well, I know I'm going to act like a jerk but I want you to remember I love you."  He got all "greeting card" for a while, lovely warm sentiments, then repeated the fact he was going to have a blackout "Don't pay attention to what I say"

He asked what he could do.  I told him to lie down in bed because he falls a lot and gets lost "wandering" the house, cursing and crawling around.  Please lie down and save us both that.  He did. 

A couple of hours (?) later he woke me up cursing and falling on the floor.  He needed to use the bathroom.  I helped him get to the toilet and left him alone, but he was angry I &qu…


Well, I have to give Ron is props.  On his own, without any prompting, he apologized for being cranky yesterday, and having the last blackout. 

He's still hunched over and moaning.  That's pretty awful to watch.  I do have to respect the fact that he refuses narcotics.  He is, oddly enough, worried about addiction. 

So I have to watch him suffer.  Not fun, even when he is being nice. 

I slept late, until 9, and I managed to throw out my shoulder my rolling on it today.  I'm pretty stiff but I can work when I need to do so. 

The cats are good, but Torbie fought me on her steroid pill tonight and clawed my hand.  Not badly, more puncture wounds.  I washed it pretty well so I should be fine.  I had Ron help hold her down on the third attempt, which worked. 

I had a horrible cyst on my leg.  It's finally resolving on it's own without intervention.  I think the Vitamin C capsules really helped. 

The weather has been hot and miserable, my diet awful, my caffeine in…


A tough day. 

I didn't sleep well last night so I woke up exhausted.  It was nice to have both Torbie (who apparently forgave me for "pilling" her with her steroid) and Biscuit (after his nums) in my bed.  I hit the snooze alarm a couple times and enjoyed the company. 

Ron is in excruciating pain and snapping at me on occasion, kind of like a wounded animal.  I have a hard time "not" taking it personally. 

I feel like hey, I'm here to HELP you.  I'm here because I love you.  Please at least speak to me with a nice tone of voice.  I already have to watch my husband suffering in agony - he forget that hurts me too. 

Oh, well.  It's such a freaking cliché, the wounded alcoholic lashing out at his steadfast wife. [sigh]

Work wasn't too bad (except for watching Ron try to stand up).  I even took him out in the wheelchair (normally he pushes the walker).  He was so, pathetically, grateful.  Our driver was early so I loaded him into the vehicle and…
Well, last night after I finished my blog, I checked out Torbie.  She does have a small scab so we will take her to the vet shortly.  I need to get ready to put her in the box. 

Well, I just got back from the vet.  She has "hot spot" or allergic dermatitis.  Doc gave her a shot of antibiotics because she has open, oozing sores, and steroid tablets for me to give her every day. 

Oh, goody.  I'm not a big fan of pilling cats, although Torbie is better that most.

So, I got up at around 6, did my God Time and shower.  Ron took me out to breakfast.  I let him.  I got French Toast and a huge portion at that.  Most places only give you a few slices but not these guys.  I ate the entire thing.  It was good. 

We came home and I took a short nap before taking Torbie to the vet.  I stuffed her in the carrier about 15 minutes before our pickup, went and checked the mail.  I got my t-shirts which are supposed to be "performance" but look like cheap polyester.  I will ha…

A frustrating day

Well, Ron had a blackout but he didn't "point" any of it at me.  Just the usual, grunting, falling on the floor, etc.  He kept me up half the night.  Of course he didn't remember any of it. 

I wondered it he would be fit for work, or had even called in the trips, but he had.  He got ready for work and was ready on time. 

"Did I have the blackout" he asked "After I went and had that extra drink around midnight?"  Thank God I didn't know about that, not really. 

He admitted he went over his portion control "because I was eating a hamburger and I didn't want it to mess with the alcohol [absorption]"  I told him that was a bad idea but didn't get all shriek-y. 

Sometimes he will starve himself the whole day, come home, and drink, "because I get more of a kick if I drink on an empty stomach".  But he doesn't have a problem, just ask him. 

Of course nothing can happen as regards rehab of any sort, until he does a…

A trip to the shelter

Well, I did it. 

I did some research into the location, address, hours, and needs of our local "kill" animal shelter.  I recruited our driver to help.  I collected all Biscuit's uneaten num-nums - still good in their unopened cans, and found I had 5 bag's worth. 

Then I had our driver take me to Walmart where I got various items on the list.  I mainly focused on dry cat food, dog and cat treats, and some peroxide for the clinic.  I didn't want to get bleach or dish soap, worried it might "open up" somehow in transit, leaving the truck a mess and ruining the other products. 

Then I took the cart out to the truck, loaded everything, and off we went to the animal shelter. 

It took a while, they are a ways off. 

Finally arrived.  I went in and saw a nice bottled vending machine, a lot of seating, and some families sitting around.  A lady was at the desk filling out paperwork.  The security guard asked me if I needed help, and I explained I needed a car…

Squeaky mouse could be anywhere

We had today off but I still got up pretty early. 

We were going to Walmart.  Ron said he didn't want to try going in the kiddie cart so I left him up front while I shopped. 

I forgot the tampons.  I should have enough, anyway.  I checked, yeah, should be OK. 

Worst case I still want to do a Walmart run, buy some of those huge bags of cat food, and take them to the animal shelter anyway.  I can certainly pick up a box of tampons while I'm there. 

Ron waited up front while I got out stuff (except the tampons).  I got a lot of dairy products, some deodorant on sale (I love the fragrance and I believe it is on clearance), the q-tips I forgot last time (boy was I happy to clean my ears when I got home), and various "Ron" snacks. 

I am trying to get him to eat more protein. 

Yes, he very well could have hurt his back when he fell during the blackout.  He fell a lot, couldn't stand up, kept crawling and falling and it was awful.  The timing is about right, too. 

He's working me to death!

I drank a cold diet soda when I woke up last night.  Oftentimes, it really helps with a headache. 

I couldn't take any painkillers for 2 hours but I could have a diet soda.  It helped a lot, I went back to bed, and got about 4 hours of sleep. 

2 AM came far too early this morning.  I hit the snooze alarm a couple times, cuddles with Biscuit, who had been in the bed most of the night. 

I finally dragged myself out of bed, gave Biscuit his can of food, and took my shower.  I got dressed in a performance t-shirt, comfortable underwear, knit shorts, and my steel toed sneakers.  Ooh.  I'm a fashion blog now. 

We got picked up on time.  Ron had a hell of a time getting out of the house.  He's walking hunched over and groaning in pain.  And he wonders why I took him to the doctor. 

It was the large white van, which has 3-4 steps to get into the vehicle, if you're not riding in a wheelchair.  He had a heck of a time getting into the vehicle. 

There was a blind guy alread…

A trip to the doctor.

So, what happened at the doctor? 

We had a good trip there and stopped at the Starbucks in the parking lot for a treat before entering the building. 

Ron had to "complete" a dementia/depression assessment.  He lied and said he was happy most of the time. 

We waited.  For once, I didn't hear a million sick people hacking moistly in the background.  If you have to get sick, mid-July seems to be a good time. 

We brought the wheelchair.  Ron got progressively more painful as the day wore on, which makes me think this is his back. 

They took us back, weighed him (152), blood pressure (122/70), and put us in a room.  A medical assistant came in and asked for the medical history.  I laughed as I gave it, it's pretty long.  Ron kept chipping in and "reminding" me of things I'd forgotten. 

Doc came in and examined Ron.  Not sure if it is a blood clot because it's both legs, but no back pain so maybe a nerve issue with the back?  Ron will need an MRI an…

Get out of bed

Ugh.  I was sleeping well until I awoke with a crushing headache around 2:30.  I laid in bed, debating if I should take Excedrin (it has caffeine and might interfere with my sleep cycle), and finally decided I didn't have a choice, I had to take it. 

I did, and went back to sleep for about an hour and a half.  I had an interesting dream about scented geraniums, which I love.  When I awoke I wished I could get some, but realized I have Bad Cats who would knock them over and break them (as houseplants), and a very eager yard man who would probably weed-whack them as "weeds".  I did recall I had built a small raised garden, if I cleared out the weeds I might be able to put a rose (probably a Cramosi Superior, or a Hansa), plant some scented geraniums all around the edge, it would be lovely. 

But I couldn't sleep.  I lay in bed for a while, trying.  I finally got up.  Ron was already awake.  I told him he didn't have to be quiet (I tend to roar at him if he wakes m…

Yogurt + mood stabilizers

It was a long day. 

I didn't sleep well. 

I got up around 8 with a headache and took some Excedrin.  I laid back down for a while with Biscuit and waited for the medication to work.  Once it did, I got up. 

I did my God Time and took my shower, then I got on the computer for a while.  I am looking for good poly performance t-shirts because Houston is hellish 80% of the time.  I'm not sure I found what I want. 

The brand/style I wanted are completely sold out, or unavailable, in my size.  Frustrating.  I will have to go to another brand. 

About 1, we got picked up and went to work.  We met our driver.  I got the folding mag-liner
and put it in the truck.  You can google "mag liner image", it won't let me put one up. 

It was fun getting it in the truck but I did it, and we left.  We got lost on our way to the place but we found it, eventually. 

I took the cart out of the truck and someone was already holding the door open.  Two attentive people asked me wha…

$20 Handout

With the political climate the way it is, I was a little worried about going to Acres Homes today. Turns out I should have been more worried about my ride home. I decided to call a cab, as Ron didn't want to go. He arrived promptly, was very nice and helpful, but not overly so (let me put the cart away myself). He was very quiet but nice, and the ride was only $20, a bargain, I thought, considering one of my tie-downs had snapped on my hand cart and smacked me in the hand. It was very slow. I picked, I think, a bad time of day. Had I gone after dinner I think things would have been much more lively. However, I did distribute a little over 50 Bibles in about an hour and fifteen minutes. I did mostly singles, ladies with gold teeth for a while. Then a few men who clearly lived in the neighborhood, interested. I was delighted to distribute to them. "I want to pour a little Jesus on things" I told one recipient, a white lady in a fast-food uniform (she wanted 3).…