I do find writing incredibly helpful for processing thoughts.
1. I am vain enough to think that most people who know me, like me, and want good things in my life.
2. I keep mistakenly thinking people will like and respect the fact I do outreach.
That is not true. And that pretty much sums it up.
I'm still here, just very careful.
I was thinking about something that took me a long time to realize; how Ron controlled me, in part, through the cats.
When we got them he always made sure they were registered under his name so he was the legal owner. Except Torbie, since I applied to adopt her she was legally mine.
And he would make little comments like "Oh if you leave I'll fight to get the cats and put them down.". I told him he couldn't do that "Oh I'll just say they are pissing on the rug no one wants that."
At the time the women's shelter did not allow pets.
Or, my favorite during a very bad time in my life "You can't kill yourself. Who will take care of me?"
Wow.
