Showing posts from September, 2007

I left him

Tonight my husband became physically abusive. The saddest thing wasn't that he shoved me, hit me, and verbally abused me. It wasn't when he bit me repeatedly, or when I was hitting him with a shoe, trying to make him stop.

It was when he hit me in the face. Then I said "That's it!", smacked him over the head a few more times to get him to stop (the bed is broken now from his tackle and the subsequent grappling), grabbed my cell phone, and left.

I told him I was calling the police (I didn't - I can always call them later). He stopped. I got a few things together (including my medication) and waited outside while I called my aunt and uncle.

I got paid recently. I still have most of my money. I have my pills, and good old Puppy, the stuffed dog. No cats, and I'm worried about them. They're tough, and Ron wouldn't dare hurt them, but I still worry.

Part of why I'm glad I'm away from him is the overwhelming homicidal urge to beat him …
I'm a wild woman. Yes, I am. I woke up early (for a day off, 6 AM is early), went to Walmart. We rode with a nice driver. He's from Vietnam, got caught by the bad guys, prisoner of war. Got out, came here. Nice guy, couldn't be nicer. We've ridden with him before so we enjoy him.

Once we got to Walmart, breakfast. Took my pills, got out my list, I'm ready to shop. I start at the "Non-perishable" side and work my way across the back to the perishable foods. As I passed the craft department, I noticed more Red Heart Zebra yarn! I only bought one additional skein. I'm cutting back. I also found size 8 *(5mm) 16-inch circular bamboo needles for $2.44. That is an insanely good deal. I couldn't believe it. I bought all 3. I got some Chappel Hill garlic sausage, oh, that is the best. I got Ron some spicy pre-cooked sausage patties, bacon, and other good things. When I feel more energetic, I'll have Ron cut up the Chappel Hill sausa…


Today, I had a horrible headache. We had an appointment to go into work, though, so I took my asprin and staggered onto the van.

I knew snacks were tragic and they were bad. Ron also needed help clearing off a pallet in our big stockroom. Anyway, I battled the headache and my ever-present nausea. I stocked the machines, I waited outside and roasted like a potato. I waved at our van, came home, and ate some soup.

After I figured I'd given the soup some time to settle, I laid down and took a nap with Puppy. What? I have a dog. Allow me to explain.

For a while I've been thinking Puppy deserved an entry of his own. As you all know by now, Ron was in a horrible accident almost 5 years ago. He spent over a month in ICU. We had crisis after crisis, setback after setback. In between his hospitalizations, my grandmother died. It was tough.

One thing I heard constantly was "So, I guess Ron will get a guide dog now." Or "When is he getting a guide dog?" …

I was right.

A couple days ago, I mentioned that Ron's "Love Language" (I've never read the book), seems to be "actions". He really feels loved when I do things, like mowing the yard or some housekeeping thing. When I do them, he heaps praise on me and thanks me repeatedly.

Well, being a normal human woman I like that. Me, I'm more of a cuddler. He was rubbing my back today while we waited on Metrolift and it was wonderful, totally G rated. I also like hearing about how wonderful I am. [sticking my tongue out]

I even asked him. He agreed. He feels loved when I help him with "cleanup" things. We've already designated a couple days a week so that ought to help us both. I can literally look at a cluttered room and not see it. I have no idea how I'm different from average but I know that's a part of it.

I told him he might want to get the book. I was completely impressed when he read "Men are from Mars...." He even has his ver…

Minus - Ebay

Sometimes I get an email from Paypal, or someone claiming to be Paypal. When I do Froogle searches (if you want to buy something, you can go to and find the beast faster) I always modify the search for - (minus) ebay. No ebay. Of course, a lot of times Froogle doesn't listen, and I get the links anyway.

I have reached the conclusion that for me, Ebay is very dangerous. If I'm even a little bit manic for something (say lace knitting patterns and needles) I can find dozens of "Buy it Now!" links just waiting for my mouse click. It took me years before I started my online debit account (for stores) because I simply didn't trust myself.

Bipolar? Spending sprees! I hate being a cliche.

Yet it's true.

My medication helps tremendously but why punish myself? I hated the "Oh, God. I got paid 2 days ago! Where is it? Where is my money!" I really hated it. I used to dread counting my money because I literally couldn't hold onto it.…

Learning patience!

I really, really want the new Knitpicks size 8 wood interchangable needle tips. But they won't be in stock until Oct 22. AGH.

I'm delighted I'm not the only person who loves these tips. I'm delighted that they will continue to carry something so obviously popular.

But my 2 year old side wants to stamp my foot and pitch a tantrum! Another thing, I'm missing a cable, somewhere.... it's been bugging me.

If any of you find my Knitpicks cable, 32 inches long, running around anywhere let me know would you? It only cost $2 (set of 2, $4) but it's bugging me.

"The Guy with the naked wife"

After the day was long past, Ron could call our local law-enforcement office and simply state, "It's me, Ron B, the guy with the naked wife." Oh, they'd exclaim, let us connect you to your officer.

I'd been living with undiagnosed bipolar disorder for over 20 years. I also have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (click here for info:, also known as ARND. They're very similar in some regards, words like "Poor judgement and impulse control" and "Socially inappropriate and immature" are basically roadmaps for both conditions. I have heard that 33% of FAS sufferers are also bipolar. It just predisposes us.

So, I'm sick. That said, I had just gotten out of the shower one fine Saturday morning. It was about 10 AM. I heard a god-awful racket coming from the garage. I realized someone was breaking into the garage! What did I do?

What would you have done, had you heard some thug (who later turned out to be a crackhea…

I finished Dad's hat!

Last night, I finished Dad's hat. I was on the loading dock Tuesday, working on it, and waiting on my milk man. A couple of guys came by and admired the hat. Ron likes it. The other vendor likes it "That's really nice, Heather." So, hopefully, Dad will like it too. It was a fun project. I just need to give it a bath in some Eucalan and dry it on the foam head sitting on my bookcase. I plan to send them a goodie box in a week or two when they come back from vacation.

The electrician just left. Our "Ground wire was loose" so he fixed it. The built-in microwave works the way it should, and we don't have to worry about the house burning down. Yay. He was really reasonable, too.

We had a nice time chatting with him while he worked, and he told me he really liked Ron. Ron's pretty hard not to like.

I got a decent night's sleep and we'll be going to Burger King soon. Tasty.

I was working on Lite Brite this morning, I enjoy it, I think…

The cats made kittens, or would have if they weren't fixed

First things first, Ron was very nice to me the day after our fight. He realized he didn't act properly. Once he finished apologizing, I told him my "Tuesday afternoon cleanup" idea. It seems like he loved the idea overall, but a part of him still wishes he didn't HAVE to tell me what he would like organized. Anyway, I think it'll be good for us overall. "Yelling at you for being disorganized is like yelling at me for being blind." He does get it. I don't want this, and I'll do what I can to give him what he needs.

Yesterday was good from what I remember. A little busy, but not bad. Today, we got up at 6 am to go get the Dr Pepper order (we had about 80 cases). We got a nice straight trip with a wonderful driver, and we got to ride in a Chrysler 300. Nice ride! It was a "Luxury" cab. Like the driver said, she only lives once and she really wanted it. She was a wonderful woman and I was thrilled to arrive in a nice ride. …

Lite Brite

Remember those things? The lite-brite? You put the little light bulbs into the black, papercovered, pegboard. The bulbs would light up against the black background and look very pretty (I had one).

I was playing around with some scrap yarn yesterday. I have a whole box of brightly colored scraps, ranging from a few yards to a few dozen yards. I've been thinking they'd look fantastic against the black wool-ease that's been running around in my yarn box for a year. Wool-ease has held up very well in my "favorite" afghan that I've slept under for over 10 years.

So I cast on 36 stitches. Knit about 5 rows in black garter stitch. Joined my leftover "Sunshine" print - about 20 yards or so. I've only knitted a row and a half and I love it. It looks just like my old Lite-brite. I plan to use a couple rows of black in between the colors.

It ought to be great. Now, I'm thinking strips. I have a couple dozen granny squares hiding in a yarn…

My decision

Sounds ominous, huh? Well, it isn't.

I had a good time after I logged off. I threw the sheets in the wash. I decided to take a nice hot bath with my Lander rose bubble bath. I dug up 2 relevant books: Boundaries in Marriage and How to Act Right when Your Spouse acts wrong. Both are EXCELLENT books that I could stand to read more often, although I have to admit I'm partial to "How to act right".

One relevant chapter heading (as I ate my sugarfree pudding and drank my Diet Rite in the tub) "Don't react, respond". Very good advice.

Ron's biggest gripe (other than "You don't contribute to the income" - HA! and "Your pills are expensive" - The most expensive one goes generic in December) is the housekeeping. He kept saying it over and over in so many ways, but when I asked him he denied it. He equates a "clean" house with love. When we're not fighting, he'll talk about how his mother kept an immaculate …

Ron's complaint

Ugh. Ron's in a nasty mood right now. Complaining about my housekeeping, complaining about other things, and stomping around muttering curses under his breath. Yuck.

First of all, the housekeeping thing is in "My" area of the house. [Here he comes, muttering the f-word under his breath.] I'll listen to your input but I've got a lot of things to manage {Ron wants to know what God would do if Ron "quit"}, and clearing off a counter on one side of the kitchen is not a huge priority when I've got to take care of both of us. For instance, his shirt is filthy. Probably the pants too. I have to tell him to remove them so I can wash them, dry them, and hang them up the "right" way. [rolleyes - freezer door slams as he gets some ice cubes for a hard "drink"]

I'm not saying his life is easy. I'm not saying he doesn't have a valid complaint. I'm just saying, in the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Am I a good, lovi…

It's nice

I was just poking around my favorites, froogling various items. Sites pop up, look interesting, I'd investigate and move on.

For about an hour, I really considered buying some hand cards. They run about $50-100. That's a decent investment. The most I've paid for anything fibery was $40 for my first spindle (money WELL spent). I thought about it.

I could use it to blend my own merino wool blends, merino and this, merino and that. Yak and Camel. Except. I have pounds of wool already that's ready to spin. I've only found a couple of types of loose, washed wool (I don't want a sheepy, greasy thing in my house, the cats would go nuts) ready to card and spin. I don'w want to wash my own fleece. I want it already, um, "scoured" I think is the term. RH Lindsay has a few but again, pounds of wool in my living room already.

So, let's forget the wool. I can use it to card exotic fibers! But I have 2 ounces of yak and a pound of camel. It&#…

Escape to reality

Ron was just listening to some classic rock. He had Queen's "Mama" playing.

"Escape from reality" It really stopped me for a minute. I've heard the song dozens of times at least, but at that very moment, I thought "Escaping from reality is the last thing I'd ever do."

I talked to Mom and Dad yesterday, and my sister today. I talked to my aunt Friday and dozens of postal workers over the last couple days. They all like me. My family loves me. My cards show words like "Joy to know" and "love to hear from you".

That's new. Trust me, that's new. The place I used to live was grim and terrible. If I wasn't suicidal, I was compelled to spend, talk, and act in ways that are totally unlike "me". Thank God I escaped to reality. I don't want to leave reality. I never want to leave.

It's a beautiful and wonderful place, filled with warm and caring people. Joy and happiness are all around me.…

"I'll push him around"

Ron and I were talking about a fun trip. We'd like to go to the petting zoo, at the zoo. We enjoy petting my fibers as they arrive in the mail and imagining what the animals themselves look and feel like. I think it would be a blast to actually pet a little lamb or an alpaca (even an angora goat - from whence mohair comes).

I told him we'd probably want to take the wheelchair. The last time we went to the zoo, about 9 years ago, we did a whole lotta walking! Even "before" (the accident) he hated all the walking. These days he can walk but it ain't pretty. He's good for up to about 1000 steps a day but anything more just wipes him out. He was thrilled to hear I'd push him around! So, we take the wheelchair.

"Just think, you won't be 'sardines' in the backseat with someone wearing too much cologne, either." Ron loves that. Wheelchair riders get to sit in about 8 square feet in the back cargo area of the Ford Windstar or Dodg…

My first birthday

My only complaint: Horrible movies on TV today! I just wanted a nice relaxing time, sit, knit, talk to family, get a pizza with some garlic butt (aka garlic bread).

Instead, I got awful movies on Sci-fi and even worse "Romantic Comedies" on USA. What's romantic about a couple breaking up? People lying and sneaking around? I don't see it. Anyway, I found something good coming up so I'm happy. Survivorman.

I slept late and had a great night's sleep. I ate a slice of cheesecake with Ron when he woke up - he got the chocolate and I had the plain. What I won't have - a migraine.

Um. Getting a little foggy now. I got a nice card from my aunt, and Mom and Dad. I also got some fun money! I'm going to have fun figuring out what I'd like to get with it. Ron spoiled me. A half pound each of some fibers I've been eying, AND all the patterns I wanted. He's a keeper. I gave him his nuts and the card, he loved them.

I also got a goodie bo…

I gave myself a break from Fall Colors...

I gave myself a wonderful gift when I put up the Fall Colors shawl for a while and got out good old "Happy" the garter stitch afghan. It's about 2.5 feet by 5 feet (5x5 completed). Ron got me the yarn for Christmas ("Sunshine Print" by Red Heart) and I enjoy it a lot. It's got 6 sunshine print, 2 golden yellow (solids) and one hot pink. Hot pink is the center stripe, it goes 2 "Sunshines", one golden yellow, another sunshine, Hot pink, etc. I was so glad to get it out, nice brainless knitting. "Happy" is exactly how it makes me feel.

I was starting to make mistakes on Fall Colors and I noticed a definite feeling of resentment - and I'm knitting for fun. Yeah, I'd love to be the kind of disciplined knitter who only has one project on the needles at a time, but I'm not. I can alternate between "Happy" and Dad's hat for now. Ron is so impressed with the garter stitch afghan. He really hated crochet. "Too many h…
Ron just told me that Hurricane Katrina evacuees were responsible for 1 murder out of 4 in Houston last year. Whoa! This year, they're responsible for 1 out of 10. They were about 3% of our population at their peak. Hm. Most are wonderful, law-abiding people who want to live peaceful lives but the other ones are really making them all look like a bunch of wild thugs.

Today I got my lace shawl patterns from Blackberry Ridge I also got a gansey (textured sweater) pattern as well. Fast shipping, only 2 days, and gloriously detailed patterns. The "easy" lace charts have me fairly baffled and stupid-feeling but I'm sure I'll figure it out when I'm ready. For now, it's nice to file them away in my organizer notebook and just admire the artistry in the color photographs. They're very inspiring.

I got 2 cards from Mom and Dad, one addressed to me, one to "us". I put the "Me" with my &…
We didn't work today. Ron told me, I could do anything I wanted so this was it: 1 hour at Walmart, 8:30 -9:30. Go home, go to the yarn shop - 2 hours at the yarn shop, go home. Nothing else. Ron planned all the trips.

The greeters at "My" Walmart are very kind and freindly. They understand the whole concept of waiting forever on Metrolift if it comes to that. I show off my projects, they ooh and ah. When I'm done shopping, they tell me Ron was a good boy and they didn't mind watching him.

So I got to Walmart with my red plastic (18 gallon) tote box. I sat Ron down on his bench and got us breakfast. We used the tote box as a table while I ate with Ron. Then, Ron loaned me his debit card (he wanted some things I couldn't afford), and I was off. I got hit pretty hard by my medication today, so I was glad I didn't have to do intensive shopping. I had a very detailed list which helped tremendously. Dr Pepper hadn't restocked yet, so I didn…

On the plus side...

I finally got my patterns and Yak fiber! Oh, I was so happy to see the UPS man.

I love the Spincraft patterns. They're a little "mathy" but not scary, they're very flexible and interesting. I can hardly wait to plan out my first vest - "Easiest Vest Ever". It has a lot of options to make it unique without being scary complex.

It's so nice to sit down with Dad's hat and just knit away. I did a couple of inches today just calming down.

Also, Ron's taking me to the yarn shop tomorrow. Please, Lord, let it be good trips. I think we got the ugly ones out of the way already. Please, God.

When I got home, I had a much needed nap. Now, I'm going to do some knitting and unwind. I need all the help I can get today.

I want a dull life

Tuesdays tend to be bad for me. Ron's accident? A Tuesday. Just one example. Although I must say I got married on a Tuesday and it was lovely.

Today, lots of drama. We had an 8 AM pickup. Metrolift calls a cab and pays for the ride sometimes. All we do, as clients, is give directions if the driver needs it. Remember this.

Metrolift has another program, called MSP - they subsidize part of the trip if you want a straight ride somewhere in a cab as opposed to riding around "Carpool" style in a regular Metrolift. And everyone knows the regular, call a cab, pay the fare, give a tip based on service.

So. Metrolift called a cab for us - they tend to do this on Tuesdays mornings, I've noticed. No one in NW Houston wants to go to NE Houston on a Tuesday morning except us.

The cab pulls up. We have ridden with the driver before. The last time, he acted like it was a "regular trip". "You called me, not Metrolift, you gotta pay the whole fair! Don&#…

Ron has ruined me

Ron has ruined me for other men, particularly, other blind men. I expect a certain standard; and the guy we rode with today sure didn't meet it.

First of all, while Ron's blind he can get around. This guy couldn't. Even after a stroke Ron gets around better than him. He asked the driver to lead him around. He didn't use his white cane properly (he just kind of poked around vaguely as he walked), and worst of all, he had a horrible attitude. Ron is grateful and appreciative of service professionals, and he does nice things like telling them so. "I couldn't do your job! You make it look so easy!" Whooo! I was glad I married Ron and I told him so repeatedly. The driver thought we were a hoot.

Some people with a disability act like the whole world owes them a butt kissing, and I didn't appreciate the guy's comment of "People like your husband". Oh, you're better than him? In your dreams. He wished he could be half the man R…

Speaking of lace

I had a happy surprise today. My bank deposit went through even though I made it yesterday. That means (drumroll) I could get something tonight if I'd like.

I've been eyeing a lace shawl pattern, two of them actually. They're very pretty and feminine, and one pattern touts itself as the perfect introduction to lace knitting. Look:, it's the "Violets by the River" pattern. And I love, love LOVE the "Wings of Fantasy".

But then the practical side kicks in. I don't know how to do ssk or psso yet. I can do yarnovers and knitting and purling 2 stitches together. I can make a very basic faggot lace, but shouldn't I learn how to do all the other stuff, really get my "Skills on" and then progress to the shawls? And what about shawls? I work in a warehouse. I take out giant rolling dumpsters. How practical is that? I couldn't wear them at work. So where would I wear it, Burger …

Damsel in distress

Up until the late 80's, a girl like me had very few role models. In the action or horror movie, the woman cringed and wailed in the corner while the men fought it out (or man vs monster). Please! I always wanted to gag.

I was watching the Sci-fi channel today while I worked on Dad's hat (the lace is going well - the lace project, not the lace on Dad's hat... ;-P ), and the last movie was pretty decent. Until the end where the female cowered and the big strong men battled it out.

It wasn't until I saw women like Linda Hamilton (Terminator 2) and Sigourney Weaver (Aliens, the second Alien movie) battling it out, hand to fist, kicking and screaming their way to equality, that I had even the remotest sense of pride in being a woman. Up until then, women were too weak and stupid to participate in their own self-defense.

I told Dad today "I'm the daughter of an engineer, I like the technical aspects of vending". I meant it. Just because I happen to have…

They love it when they see us working weekends!

Yesterday I got paid. Yay! This morning, I went to Walmart. Spent a total of $40. Wow. That's a huge change from the old days. They didn't have my Cherry Cola Diet Rite but that's OK, I still have plenty. We came home and I put up my groceries. I managed to drop some breakfast on my T-shirt so I was glad I could come home and change, as I was changing I dropped something on my shorts and changed them too. You know me, "I'm so glad this happened at home!"

We got great drivers today, all of them were a treat who enjoyed having us on board. We went to work with "Mr. Mumbles" who mumbles almost everything. The stuff we do understand is very funny. He's a very skilled driver and a genuinely nice guy.

As we headed into work, we saw a lot of pleased expressions and happy smiles. They love it when they see us working weekends! We came in just for them! The snack machines looked good, so I helped Ron with change banks (filling them up with …

A good day to thank God!

Someone prayed hard. The hurricane that was headed straight for Houston is now headed for drought-stricken Alabama. It just - turned. God did it! I'm very appreciative today and THANK YOU, LORD. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It could have been awful, with millions in property damage, deaths, and millions of square yards of ruined carpet stacked at the curb due to flooding. Thank you!

I'm also grateful on an even more selfish note. Yesterday I ate something that wasn't chocolate, and didn't really give me headaches, but might. I forgot that it was the very worst week of the month to do so - my headaches have a very strong hormonal connection (ie menstrual migraines). Today, I woke up with an awful headache, almost a migraine. I ate my pudding cup and took rapid-release (can I spell it? can I?) aceitominaphen (close enough). When I got to work, I took my lithium. Bad headache today... I was able to work but the pound, pound, pound was really awful. I g…

See, it always gets better!

I knew things had to improve, not that they were that awful to begin with. Last night I had a nightmare I lost Ron - horrible. I woke up and just stood near him, listening to him snore until I felt better.

Ugh. Something happens to him, you might as well put me down, too. I finally went back to sleep. I dreamed of happy cats. I didn't understand until I rolled over in bed. Frosty the snow-cat was asleep next to my pillow. He was so precious I fixed him a num-num (Walmart's Special Kitty brand Tuna and Shrimp canned food, on a foam plate) before I even brushed my teeth.

We went to Walmart, had a good ride with a great driver. Ate some breakfast, got a cart, started shopping. OOH! Look! A cable-knit zippered, hooded, cardigan in dark gray cotton! How much? $14! Sold! Of course that would have wiped out my budget, so I called Ron on my cell phone (I leave him by the door, sitting on the bench). Can I get an advance? Why? I told him. He told me to just put it o…

MOnday was a bad day

I'm an optimist. The story will have "A Happy ending".

Monday was a hell day. It ended on an even worse note than the rest of the day when I tracked my package from Paradise Fibers (patterns, and 2 ounces of Yak Fiber). It was sent Priority Mail. They claim it was delivered. Oh, I'm sure it was delivered but not to me.

And that's what hurts the most. Not that the substitute mail man was an idiot (incontrovertible), but that whoever got it just threw it out, apparently. They probably opened it, said "Booor-ing" and threw it in the trash.

They had a car. They can see. But they just didn't bother to bring it by. They could have even left the opened package on the chair by the door. I would have felt a little invaded, but I would have at least had my patterns! Now all my eager, happy, expectation has turned to a big lump of disappointment.

I've spent at least $300 with Paradise. They don't make mistakes on the addresses. Good old …

Will this day ever end?

We got home from work, we each took a nap. Ron woke up. We haven't had a long enough day, let's do bookeeping! I say OK. We work on last month's payouts.

I check the mail. NOTHING except the stupid quarterly sales tax (give us your money!) form we need to fill out next month and mail along with our "protection money". I'm reminding myself, no payroll tax in Texas. Count your blessings, Heather.

Then, it's "Let's mow the backyard". I check for bugs and spiders. It seems OK. I mow half the backyard. I'm wringing with sweat, very dizzy, but not complaining. Ron says "It's too hot, let's finish tomorrow".

Then he goes out an hour ago and plays he-man. He's gonna mow it himself. I was already undressed, mosquitoes love me, and I SAID I would do it tomorrow. No one can see in our backyard unless you are a snooping neighbor, climbing on something to see over the fence. I don't care about HER anyway beca…

I'm glad I don't have a spinning wheel

I'm glad I don't have a spinning wheel. I like things simple. I like being able to stop on a dime, or take my spindle and roving into another room to read something for Ron.

I like to read the spinners forum on a message board. They are mainly into wheels. I read a lot about the various problems of broken drive bands, finding bobbins, winding off, and other things.

I like things simple. I'm glad I have a spindle (or 3).

An I'm-not-Manic Monday

Well, Ron and I made up. "I was mainly angry at God." OK.

It's a good thing we did, today was a tempest! The cat brought home a flying, noisy insect in the middle of the night... through the cat door. It woke us up. We had to get up at 3 AM. We had a good ride to work with a really nice driver. Our Vistar (junk food) guy was late.

Ron discovered a coin jam in the soda machine that has the bad validator. Dr Pepper couldn't come out today. I had to help Ron with the Coin Jam. We had a lot of unhappy people due to the coin jam and all of them wanted to tell us that the machine was down. If only they'd tell us when the machine is running the "Buy one, get one free" promotion! That, we have to discover for ourselves! So, hectic. Thank God I take my Lithium. No candy in the machines - it's like they were imprisoned with my snack machines or something and literally ate them down to the coils!

The only thing that hadn't sold? My "Sw…

Breakfast with Heather

I had the day off, so I slept in and got up about an hour ago. I need to take my Lithium, but I'm out of my delicious Kozy Shack Sugarfree Tapioca.

When I first got up, the house was a bit cool. Ron's doing the whole "silent sphynx" routine. Ron got angry at me last night and I took some advice I got from God (years ago) - Ron had been saying and calling me ugly things, and I was so angry that all I could do was take it. I don't want to tape his mouth shut, tempting as it is, and I thought it was very unfair that I just had to sit there and "take it". "But you don't have to sit there, Heather." I heard it very clearly. So now, when Ron's lost his temper and is saying things that would make your eyes bleed to read, I go outside. Even being eaten by the mosquitos is better than that. No matter how angry he is, Ron won't come outside and make himself a "public" spectacle. Part of it is the brain damage, impulse con…

I love this wool!

I can tell I need to order some more wool. Ask me why.

Because: I love my brown Corriedale and black/brown Perendale so much that I don't want to spin it. Or rather, I do want to spin it, into several different projects. The Corriedale/Perendale twist is so gorgous, it's very subtle and complex. I love it! Love it! I want to make a vest! I want to make hats, and legwarmers... and I am jealously guarding it.

I'm going to work on spinning up my Black Welsh this weekend (there's a reason In Sheep's Clothing only gave it one diamond for softness). Then, I'm going to ply it with some black Perendale, and brown Corriedale.

I'll have
Brown/brown (corry/peren)
Brown/black (corry/welsh)
and Black/black (corry/welsh) I can have a lot of fun placing and interchanging them in my projects.

When I get paid next Friday, then I go straight to my bank and make a deposit, so come Saturday I can order more of my Perendale and Corriedale. I LOVE this wool.

I told Ron e…

15 years in CA will get you...

The average American Household uses about 100-200 gallons, per day.

We use 80 gallons a day. I've been reading our water bills for years, and it always runs between 2 to 3 thousand.

I owe it to living in California. During the late 80's, early 90's we had a terrible drought. One year, I think we got 12 inches of rain in the whole year. One thing we learned quickly - water conservation. Don't leave the faucet running. I remember hearing "DON'T WASTE WATER!". They'd teach us lots of tips in school on "living green".

Same with electricity. I loved the new flourescent (sp) light bulbs as soon as they came out. It uses 15 watts, and I get the equivalent of 100? I'm there. Ron's totally blind. He could care less, but he loves knowing that - right now for instance.

Desk Lamp: 4 watts
Kitchen lights: 160 watts
Hanging light fixture: 18 watts
If I had the lamp in the corner turned on, it would add another 17 watts. That's all …

A nice day off

I needed today. I needed to sleep late, go to Ikea for breakfast, and wander around the store for an hour. I got a nice cotton bedspread (rose), some throw-rugs to put under my Lilberg rocking chair, and a couple of hot-pink Vessla storage boxes (They have wheels and lids. They stack. They rule!).

The cafeteria lady likes Ron. She looked in on him while I was gone to see if he needed anything.

I got what I came for, had money left, a good meal, and a great ride home. Then I took my lithium, and a nap. I woke up, Ron's at Starbucks. I'm did some spinning. He came home and beat the rain.

I didn't get my Knitpicks order yet, but I can wait. It will come.

A good day.

Shooting myself in the foot

A few months ago, I was accused of being a racist because I made the following comment: "The wedding reception was uncomfortable, in my opinion, because not only did we have to drive an hour to get to the reception, but they held it in a mosque. This wasn't long after 9-11."

I had simply meant, it was uncomfortable for me (and others I overheard). First of all, I'm a Christian. Personally, I feel uncomfortable in other places of worship. Then, the media had shoved the Islamic religion down our throats as pivotal as to why the terrorists did what they did. So for me, and others I overheard, it was odd and uncomfortable. Houston has thousands of banquet halls, why this one?

Some people got really angry and accused me of being racist. I had two cab rides today. One driver was Hispanic. When I offered him a soda or a bottle of water, the poor man looked like I'd slapped him. His face was slack with shock, but he managed to let me know he'd like some wate…

The most important thing I did today...

I'm going to share what I think is the most important thing I did today, then I'll backtrack and tell you about the day itself. I got up at 5-something this morning, and I had been going all day. No nap today!

In the very late afternoon, Ron went outside to wait for a cab that was supposed to take him to Starbucks (he later changed his mind). The "little boy" next door, maybe 7 or so, yelled a greeting. I said hello. Ron didn't hear the boy and kind of turned his head to me, so I told him. I then told the boy, "My husband is blind".

"I know" he said, "My cousin told me". I didn't think much of it at the time, but then it started to fester. Who was this cousin? How did he know about us, and what was he doing telling our personal information to this child? The nerve! [note to reader: let's thank God his mother doesn't read this.] Things were definitely taking a familiar path and I stopped myself.

The most import…