I think she likes it

"I need one of those in my house"

Ron was asleep when I lay down for a nap.  I didn't want to wake him up just to tell him I was taking a nap, he has a hard time sleeping.  So he woke me up yelling about his Dad.  He used to listen to "the game" with his Dad and they were doing a replay of an old Colt '45's one.  The Houston Astros used to be the Colt 45's.  So that brought up a lot of memories for him. 

 

He has not done a good job grieving the loss of his parents but seems to be getting around to it this year.  I am not going to tell him to shut up.  I am in no way a shrink but I do view his mental health as important as his physical. 

 

I do what I can, and now and then he listens to me vent so I think it's equal. 

 

I also fed him some chicken nuggets so he is OK for nutrition.  I do need to get more nuggets, though.  The pork is still cooking I will take it off the heat around 7 PM, cool it down, and put it in the fridge. 

 

I got the laundry going.  That should be done in a few hours. 

 

So we got tomorrow all sorted out he was a little confused and thought we had already gone to the bank. 

 

I am glad all the work is done outside, we just need to check the balance and see if we can mail the insurance check, which we really need to do.  Quality insurance is a really good precaution everyone needs to take, even renters.  I am really hoping we don't have a claim for another 16 years. 

 

I almost, and I love trees, want to cut all my trees down so I don't have to worry about them falling where they shouldn't.  But I think that is excessive. 

 

I was thinking (after Ron had hollered for me yet again) Ron is a good person to love if you are a "doting" personality and like having someone to pamper and spoil (not all the time, for me).  I lean more that way so generally it does not bother me as much. 

 

And then I got to thinking about when I was hospitalized for depression back in the 80's.  I was suicidal.  They didn't know back then, giving a very depressed teen antidepressants often made them suicidal.  I was basically a guinea pig for that.  They had enough "Heathers" they put it together. 

 

So there I am in a locked ward psych hospital.  It was pretty much the same as a regular hospital I can still remember the TERRIBLE poached eggs they had every morning.  If you didn't eat they would give you an ensure and sit you at the nurses station until you drank it and some time after to make sure you weren't purging.  They just had to threaten me with the ensure and that was enough. 

 

Anyway I was in therapy pretty much all day, classes a few hours a day - I did very well as they let me read all I wanted and write reports, etc.  Rarely someone would snap and they would get hauled off to "the quiet room". 

 

You have heard about the padded room this was it, it was completely carpeted.  I never needed it I just cried a lot.  They were very nice about it.  They would just get me a box of tissues.  That was my only hospitalization. 

 

They also taught me I could refuse medical procedures I was terrified of blood tests and they said I could refuse; I did.  My parents were most upset but my wishes mattered.  It was nice to know.  Other than that I participated fully in my treatment. 

 

Anyway we had visiting hours, if you had behaved you could have visitors and I behaved.  The staff used to give the tour - it wasn't a huge facility, and when they got to the quiet room everyone said the same thing "I need one of these in my house" I always found that funny.  Builders have it all wrong.  We don't want granite, we want a quiet room.  Maybe a builder will read this. 

 

Sometimes I think I could stand to let loose with a good banshee scream (this is what brought all this up), and a quiet room would be great because I don't want to scare the neighbors, especially now.  Could I get in the habit of just going somewhere and cutting loose with a good scream for a while? 

 

Maybe someone could do quiet rooms the way they do tanning salons and people could go in there, scream, hit the walls (sign a waiver?)?  It is something to consider I might do it. 

 

Although I tend to think I would like to do the foot massage, then I always go to staph infections and talk myself out of it.  Some women have ended up at the hospital after a "pampering day".  I do use Dove on my feet in the shower.  I figure my feet could use the moisture. 

 

So I heard a knock on the door and looked, a package!  Yay!  From Herbalife - not yay... my sister got me some Herbalife years ago and it was so vile I couldn't drink it.  Even pea protein (pretty grim) is better.  So even if I had been malicious I wasn't keeping it.  I looked up the address, a ways away.  I put my shoes on and walked over.  No one answered but it's a decent area so I left it on the porch.  It felt like vitamins.  And I am sure Dulce was looking forward to it. 

 

When I got back home I found a very freaked out delivery man holding my rug in one hand.  He wanted the package, he was supposed to bring the rug but left the vitamins.  I explained I had already done it and he was relieved, gave me my rug.  He probably would have gotten in big trouble.  But he was just a kid so I don't fault him.  Some people are better at deliveries than others. 

 

Now Al was great, he was my UPS guy when I lived near work, on the third floor.  He used to bring me big buckets of coconut oil, fragrance oils, etc. for my soap and candle making.  One day he said "What the hell are you doing up here?!" which led to me giving him some soap.  I would give him a little gift every time he made a delivery it was really nice to see a smiling face, and he was so nice about it.  I miss him. 

 

From what I can tell I am not on a regular route out there the way I was back then.  It seems like a different delivery person every time.  Even the mail carriers don't last very long this is an ugly route. 

 

I am glad I got a nice walk, and my rug, out of it.  I don't want a lot of rugs but a runner by the sliding door seems wise, it is a pretty floral design and purple to match everything else.  I may put up a picture.  Spotty likes to lie by the curtain so a lot of orange cat hair on the curtain.  The lint brush isn't doing much with it so I will have to get a sticky roller.  In the meantime there is cat hair. 

 

But it doesn't matter because I won't have to deal with 50 nasty comments about the cat hair, will I?  That is a nice benefit. 

 

Cleo has been super cute and cuddly today.  She got in bed with me for petting and was just on the couch next to me wanting more petting.  She has done so well and I am very proud of her.  Ron is a little disappointed she won't have anything to do with him but I explained Baby Girl has claimed Ron as her personal property

 

That's it for now. 

Sunday morning

A busy day. 

 

I didn't sleep very well last night and woke up around 7 with a headache.  Not an auspicious start. 

 

I took something, took a shower, etc.  I took care of Ron, got dressed (not in that order), called a Uber.  I had a good ride with a nice lady. 

 

#2 had started on stage 2 of the improvement.  I have a large mulberry tree on the property line, I asked several people to cut it down but no one will because "it's a fruit tree" AGH.  Anyway, she sicced her guy on it with my blessing.  I told her she can cut the damned thing (I didn't swear) down if she wants, whatever she wants on the property line.  They just pruned it severely. 

 

Put delicately she is an alpha personality.  I used to take that very personally but better living with medication I actually like her. 

 

So she had that going today while I left.  I went to the store and got a huge block of cheese, a nice selection of pork loin ends (weird little cuts), etc.  They didn't have the 20 pound bag of rice but I got a decent assortment of groceries, including... wait for it... a $4 box of mini cream puffs.  And cheesecake that is very good and comes 2 slices to a box. 

 

Portion control is key. 

 

So I had a good ride home he had a big sign up he had a dash cam, but I am fine on that as I have no secrets.  He didn't speak very good English but he was nice. 

 

I couldn't get the front door to unlock.  Very frustrating.  I had to go around the house, yell in Ron's window, wake him up.  He opened it and then shut it again (laugh) but we got it.  I brought everything in.  They were still working next door. 

 

I came in and put the groceries away.  I really wanted to take off my bra (a common theme lately) but #2 had come to supervise the workers.  I got most of the pork in the crock pot with a fair amount of black pepper, some garlic, and a can of salsa.  Three pieces looked really good for the skillet so I cooked them up.  I ate 2 and saved the big one for later.  Yum, yum. 

 

I talked to them next door they cut down the red tips.  I would have fought on that BUT 2 were dead and another couple were sick, so time to do.  I really doubt the homeowner's wants a bunch of 8 foot tall dead bushes outside my house.  And it was important to her and I am more willing to concede these days. 

 

I can be very territorial (stop laughing!) but that has improved with medication, most likely, or I am just becoming a better person (:p).  So I was fine with that all. 

 

She said next step is stump killer, I agreed.  She wants to plant grass, I will water that.  She was happy.  I told her it looked good (it does, but more sun in my home).  She surprised me when she said she is going to fix part of my fence not on the property line it is terrible, I agreed.  She said she was going to have her guys do it.  I thanked her.  2 out of three fences are brand new now. 

 

For whatever reason, I have had a TERRIBLE time asking for help in my life, I think because I often got slapped for it - like back in January when I called for help and ended up getting a tirade from the police officer.  I didn't even ask for help and someone sicced APS on me.  When I had problems with depression and sought help, I did not get what I needed for a very long time. 

 

BUT things are changing now it seems like everyone is offering help without me even asking.  Now admittedly I have run into a bad apple who stole my stuff from the storage unit, but 95% of everyone who rallied the last year has been very supportive (except for the snitch!).  I just have to be gracious about it. 

 

It is needed, don't get me wrong, because I do have my hands full running the business, taking care of my family and myself. 

 

The store didn't have Diet Dew or the Iams Urinary formula, so I will have to go to Walmart pretty soon.  I will figure that out. 

 

After I finished, I sat down, took my pills (all that the same time which is fine per doc) and opened up the cream puffs.  They were bite size and very very good.  It is just cream and the shell so I should be OK (no migraine).  I did squirt some filling out on my shirt so I had to pretreat it and throw it in the washer, but it was worth it.  Very good. 

 

My pills are happy with the pork chop and the cream puffs.  It is quiet next door let me see what is going on. 

 

It is quiet, the yard looks great, lots more room between the two houses with the red-tips gone.  I will have more sun in my house but I can live with that. 

 

I'm going to take a nap while it is quiet. 

Saturday

We are in an odd weather pattern where we need the heat at night (for Ron) and need the air during the day.  Anyway, I didn't sleep well last night and woke up to Ron turning on the heater at 3 AM. 

 

Houston is a really good city for him as it seldom gets really cold.  He would be miserable up north. 

 

I got up at 5 and got ready, so glad I had taken my shower the night before.  I got Ron ready and off to work.  He was having a moderately bad day for pain so I put him in the corner, basically, while I did the work. 

 

We finished up.  We had planned to go to the bank but Ron said please let me go home my back is killing me.  He was nice about it so it was easy to agree, we did that. 

 

Uber is making a lot of money off of me, did I mention I have platinum status now?  The driver was very helpful with the wheelchair. 

 

Ron went straight to bed.  I stayed up because the guys are working, they may need something, and #2 may come by.  Which means I have to wear my bra.  Booo! 

 

Arturo brought Ron some cucumber vodka Ron loves that stuff and I guess that is nice in summer weather.  I am more of a spiced rum girl. 

 

By the way, I had literally one alcohol drink (a 50 ml bottle) in a month.  So I am not worried about becoming a lush.  I don't think "I need a drink".  When stressed I tend to go "I want a diet soda". 

 

I am a caffeine addict.  I admit that and I even have caffeine pills if I run out of drinks.  I try to keep it less than 500 mg a day and do pretty well most days. 

 

We have enough money to buy a modest amount of inventory and pay me.  That's good. 

 

I plan to use this computer to file my monthly report and then start looking for a good reconditioned computer as this one is about done.  Of all the things I do online about all I can do now are blog and do the report.  I have to do the report that is not optional; so I will, I can do it on this system. 

 

This all leads back to the Chrome browser update about a week ago.  It didn't like my Windows 7 (stop laughing!) and crashed the computer.  If I forget and try to load Chrome (and I vastly prefer Blogger with Chrome) it crashes and I have to reboot.  I can't uninstall it.  So I am using IE but it's a really old version and is not doing well.  My message board crashes the system.  So does Facebook - I can use my cell for Facebook.  And that is not vital I don't think anyone would miss me for a couple weeks. 

 

So I need a new computer.  New to me, but we will figure something out.  All I do pretty much is light shopping, message board, blogger, facebook, reports.  Not much really. 

 

But this old horse is about done.  It has been a good system; we got it from our computer guy.  It has updates from 2015 so pretty old. 

 

I am hoping our guy can get us a reconditioned for cheap, or I found one on Amazon.  It has better specs than my system so I ought to be OK for a while. 

 

Enough about computers.  The cats are all good.  I haven't seen much of Torbie today but she likes to go loaf around in the backyard.  She never goes far.  She is also a flirt who probably ate half the workers' lunch. 

 

I don't know what I will do tomorrow.  I am not getting a delivery tomorrow as the weekend ones are rough.  Do I want to go to the store?  On the weekend?  Not really...I could use some groceries but not urgent.  The bank isn't open.  They don't have my brand cat food.  I will need to think about it. 

 

The one store has some good meats, etc.  Walmart is having supply chain problems; I get that, I have them too, but HEB is not.  And their spinoff chain Joe V's had quite a bit of variety the last time I went.  It will be crazy on a Sunday, though... so I have to consider that. 

 

I will think about it. 

 

Boy they are just banging away next door.  So I will have a new fence on each side.  That's nice but I will worry about them in storms.  Is this silly or what?  I am so glad our yard guy came out Thursday before the storm.  The yard looks so nice and manicured except for the sawdust.  And that will break down in the soil, probably take a week with our heat. 

 

I just feel like the hits keep coming.  Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful the tree did not land on the house.  But it was just more trauma I will never forget how I felt when I looked out the window and saw the tree.  It is amusing the catio is still standing Greg did a better job than I thought, building it.  You would never guess part of a tree landed on it. 

 

I am going to round up a meal so I can take my pills.  Cup of noodles it is.  Ron hasn't been very hungry I am going to have to get something in him. 

 

That's it for now. 

 

 

Friday afternoon

So I decided Ron's attitude were just misguided protectiveness. 

 

He told me he was hungry and couldn't decide what he wanted.  So I fixed him a 2 course meal and teased him about his "breaded chicken cutlets" (nuggets) and a pork sausage link (the hot dog size).  He ate those and is snoring. 

 

The neighbor (#2) said they are replacing the fence tomorrow.  She said something about being "tired of replacing it" but she is getting her fence mixed up.  Her tenants and passers by have trashed the south fence to the point it had to be replaced twice.  The north side (mine) has never been replaced, it has been 16 years since I moved in, so clearly due.  Personally I would wait until the end of hurricane season and then do it as no parts of it are "down" but it's half hers. 

 

She really hates the one tree on that fence I said she can cut it down if she wants.  But right now, between us, my big priorities are paying the insurance and getting a new garbage disposal and toilet.  Once I get all that handled, fix up Ron's room (next on the list), and save up a nest egg then I can think about optional items. 

 

But I don't want a war, either, so we will see how it pans out.  She did get an eyeful of poor pitiful Ron in his wheelchair, I told her he is from the ghetto (Houston has various neighborhoods and I named his of origin, she was impressed at his street cred as that is a very rough area), so hopefully that will aid. 

 

And, worst case, we can make payments on our half.  Happily her tenants are mature adults who do not body slam the fence like some of the kids she had living there. 

 

It's just homeowner issues I can paint the house whatever I want inside, pick the floors, etc. but I have to pay for the fence and all the rest of it.  It would be nice if we were making more money. 

 

We did get the bill changer up and running so that should have some cash in it.  Ron made trips for work tomorrow.  Hopefully that will go well. 

 

At some point we need to go in to the bank and do our "change order" so I can get paid, and then I need to go to my bank and make a deposit.  I don't have a big transaction at the start of the month but I am going to take at least $125 out for Dad at the start of the month, do the second half after the 15th, and make the deposit to their account before the 20th.  They did say something about that so they are happy to be getting it, and I certainly intend to keep paying them. 

 

I also need to start building up my personal savings in case I have an emergency.  I can think of several things that would do it.  Ron doesn't, and won't, know about that. 

 

We also need to make the credit card payment as well, we still have about $500 on that.  Enough about finance. 

 

Spotty has been super cute today, very cuddly and sweet.  The other cats are awesome but he has really sparkled today. 

 

I took the pots off my wish list and got something else in there instead, with better reviews.  It is happily less expensive as well.  Ron seems OK today pain wise. 

 

My headache is better but I think I will have another hemp smoke.  I hope #2 doesn't see me I doubt she has a high opinion of smokers, even though it is not tobacco, medicinal, and does not get me high.  

 

Oh, I forgot to tell you, remember how I said the tree stump with about 5% of the tree that fell in our yard, was still up in HIS yard (#6)?  Well, he had his guys dig out the stump, which was bigger than my kitchen table.  Internet says average cost is about $700 to remove a down tree so he doesn't want that again, and the fence repair (he had a crew do it) was probably another thousand. 

 

Thank God he chose to foot the bill.  I am guessing that stump removal set him back another $300 at least. 

 

But the fence is up on that side, looks good, I am happy.  Supposedly the fence is going up on the other side tomorrow while we're at work. 

 

I rearranged a few things so they can take down my old fence easily.  So, I have fences on the north, east, and south edges of my property.  The front yards are not fenced here, only the back.  So when this is all done I only need to worry about the east fence, which is one of the longest.  HOWEVER the people who bought the house behind me some years ago replaced a lot of the fence. 

 

Ugh, done talking about Ron, fences, neighbors, and money. 

 

I need to figure out dinner.  I have decided to move out tv dinners and make room for dinner fixings, like a bag of chicken nuggets vs a nugget dinner, etc.  I think it is a better policy and we will get more meals out of our admittedly small space. 

 

I want a treat, something someone else fixes for me.  It has been an awful week between Ron's back, my migraine today, the tree coming down, dealing with BOTH neighbors, etc.  Even Biscuit got sick but is doing fine now.  I have stayed on top of the laundry, housework, Ron care.  Very pleased with that.  I did a terrible job of doing nice things for myself but did get and am using a very nice bodywash.  I will work on it. 

 

I'm just glad I'm not on the hook for fixing two fences and the tree cleanout. 

I am rather offended

The neighbor came by, said "our" tree fell in her yard.  When I got a look at it, it was actually #6's tree a limb broke off and went flying in her yard.  I didn't argue it, I went out and talked to her. 

 

Gist of it: the fence needs to be replaced (not from this just old) and she wants us to "help".  I said that is reasonable but we are very low on funds.  She said she understood but we had to pay something, I agreed and said all I had was $100.  She said that was good so I did that. 

 

She spent a lot of time talking to contractors, etc.  I eventually went back home.  When I left Ron she had said that "our tree" fell in her yard so I went to correct that and explain it was one branch. 

 

He got very agitated and got dressed, in the wheelchair, said he had to come with me and make sure I wasn't "bamboozled" kept going on about how I was "soft, weak, and (easily manipulated)"  He went on at some length. 

 

I said I couldn't be tricked into paying money I didn't have, I would only pay HALF, max, and only $100 a month because we could barely afford that.  I asked him what did he expect, she would berate me, I would cry and agree to pay everything?  With what?  He still kept going on about how I was a gullible sap, etc.  VERY insulting. 

 

When I have I ever let someone get the bad end of me in a deal?  Never.  The worst I will do is pay an obviously phony refund at work, and, if I do, I take the "defective" product away so they don't get to enjoy it, and their money.  The one time I did that the worst offender stopped and has never filed another one. 

 

Anyway I took him out, he had a sour expression on his face.  She took one look at him and left.  So that's done. 

 

I got him back into bed and he is complaining.  How does he think I feel? 

 

I am just glad I didn't have a neighbor on each side demanding I pay half the fence because I really don't have that kind of cash. 

 

She also said she wants to get rid of the red-tips I am OK with that now because a couple of them have gotten sick and died.  Also, she is not renting to "no boundaries" section 8 families with feral children running all over my yard, anymore.  The current tenants are fine and I like them. 

 

But I was really hoping for a nap... that is not going to happen today and I have to wear the damned bra again because she may come back.  [sigh]

This is probably whining

So I am debating what pot to get for my small kitchen.  I want a bigger, non stick pot because the aluminum one I have is really only good for soups, any kind of bean in there is going to stick and burn.  I don't want that. 

 

I have 2 choices, 2 pots (three and six quart) for $40.  It is a better value per pot but I really only have room for one additional pot.  There is another pot for $35, good reviews, big, 6 quart, etc.  I am leaning toward that. 

 

And I was thinking about "the weekly phone call" and how they would really be very uncomfortable if I called to get an opinion.  Upset that I had called today instead of tomorrow, etc.  And why was I asking THEM they would no doubt wonder. 

 

My aunt is great she would be happy to weigh in but is having kids home this weekend so I won't bother her.  She deserves a break anyway and I wouldn't hear a word against her. 

 

But I do find it a little sad the person you would think I would call wouldn't want to take it. 

 

The tree is gone (pretty much)

They stopped for the day.  Ron rested quietly most of the day but had some pretty bad pain this afternoon.  It is really exhausting to watch a loved one in pain.  I begged him to please tell his doctor when we go in shortly so Doc can maybe get him a patch or something. 

 

He is OK now.  He had fun playing with his radio and seems fine with it.  My stuff came, the boxes were pretty beat up but the contents OK. 

 

I was tired and stressed out so I took another shower, this time with my body wash.  I only took an abbreviated one this morning. 

 

But my yard is clear, the fence was down, they really have a tiny backyard.  I can see why the kids were always coming over.  It's a good thing I did have all that room for the tree to land. 

 

I have some mulberry trees, pretty vigorous.  I have an ash tree out front, and one out back.  When I first saw the wreckage I thought it was my tree.  There is also a very large oak tree in the lot behind me.  I worry most about that. 

 

And #6 just had his trash tree on our property line at the back.  I NEVER would have figured it would fall, but it did.  But it's gone now maybe I can sleep tonight. 

Today is fence day

Ron didn't want to go in today and that turned out to be a good thing for me. 

 

Vicious migraine.  My cycle is winding down and has been late this month, based on this headache I'd say I'm about to get a visit.  This happens some times.  Not fun and I am not going to miss this. 

 

But, based on my mother's history I would say I could have up to 10 more years.  Oh, I hope not.  But estrogen provides a heart and bone protective benefit.  So I will focus on that.  UGH miserable. 

 

It's kind of like Ron's "cold front" back attacks, once the weather rolls in he is OK, once my cycle starts (if it does, today) I will be OK.  It's just awful though. 

 

It's another thing makes me glad I didn't have a daughter I would hate for her to have this. 

 

But one day this will be all done. 

 

It is a nice mild day so they can do the work without misery.  I am glad for them for that.  I will take them some cold drinks in a little bit. 

 

Ron is OK his back is alright today.  I gave him some split peas for breakfast which he ate himself, but he got it in his hair so I had to clean it out.  Beard, yes, I am used to that but hair was a new one (laughing).  He sure enjoyed it. 

 

We were talking today about making an inventory run.  One, Jack hurt his foot and can't help for a little while.  Two, we don't have the money.  We were supposed to take the money out today. 

 

And I am supposed to get paid somehow, not sure how that will work...  I can live pretty cheap if we have to wait on that. 

 

I am going to buy these today:  (link won't work with old IE)  It was a 2 piece saucepan set in red, non stick.  Very nice BUT $40 and that is more than I want to spend right now.  I would do well to get one good pot so I will look for that.  Maybe I can find one in the $20-25 range.  That I could do. 

 

Best one is $35.  It can wait. 

 

It is just a little tedious making the split pea in my smaller pot I can only make a couple quarts at a time. 

 

I had a hemp smoke and my head is feeling better.  That really works well.  I may have trouble sleeping tonight but at least I am not in agony right now. 

 

Now here's a question, I am watching one of those "medication for women on their last leg of breast cancer" commercials and they show all these happy, TWO breasted women out living their lives.  They should have used real cancer patients/survivors for the ads.  I would find that offensive if I were sick. 

 

I think the bipolar medication people do a pretty good job with the ads, I like the one with the roller coaster.  I'm not taking the stuff, I am a big fan of my cocktail, but they're apt and help educate. 

 

I'm going to go put my bra on so I can take drinks to the guys later. 

 

 

 

The time Ron almost got shot and zombie trees

#6 has come by to ask me a few questions about repairs, did I want him to trim MY trees while he was at it?  Sure, why not.  Good news the work should be done today. 

 

I really detest wearing my bra but I can't open the door without one.  Of course I am dressed but normally at home I free the girls and really find this uncomfortable.  So that has been the worst part so far, having to wear the bra. 

 

I was watching police dramas today and remembered the time Ron almost got shot.  Travel with me, if you will, back to the late 90's. 

 

Ron was "only" blind and has a scanner.  I will do a post about him and manuals later but for now he had a handheld police/multi band scanner that got all the "good" stuff.  He liked to wander around at night with the scanner in one hand and his long white cane in the other.  It has been quite a while since he has walked around with the long white cane. 

 

So one night there's a foot chase with the police and the bad guy runs through our complex.  Ron walks down from our second story apartment to see what he can hear.  The police announce they have spotted a suspect.  The officer asks what clothes the bad guy was wearing, white shirt and black pants.  Affirmative, he has the suspect. 

 

Ron turns and starts walking up the stairs.  'He's going up the stairs now, you got the back?"  they all affirm they are closing in on "the suspect" and suddenly they scream at Ron to freeze.  He stopped walking, put his hands in the air, and said "Don't shoot!  It's me!"  They stick a floodlight in his face (he could feel the heat), realize he's the neighborhood blind guy, and tell him 2 things. 

 

'Put that away" meaning the scanner and "Go back home" which he did.  He came in, very pale and shaking. 

 

I had no idea any of this had happened and was horrified and amused when he told me.  He almost got shot.  Good thing it was a different culture back then they might have said they thought he had a gun and not a scanner, in his hand. 

 

He stopped going out at night, after that, and just plugged into his rooftop antenna and listened at home. 

 

Now, that said I have heard about what happened this week, the police officer killing the young man.  That can't happen.  Rioting is not the answer, either.  Hopefully calm heads will prevail and this will be settled appropriately. 

 

I do wonder why the other officers just stood there (apparently, I did not watch the video) and let him do it.  When we had a case in Houston where a man married to an officer choked a public urinator to death there was a crowd trying to pull him off.  In that case the choked man also died.  It went to court and ended in a mistrial. 

 

That is not OK.  Do I have the answer?  No. 

 

It is very sad all around law enforcement has lost so much respect and the public is angry. 

 

So... the manuals. 

 

Ron used to buy tech devices that came with a manual.  He would ask me to read him the manual and tell him what all the buttons were.  I would ask to have the manual reading recorded because I knew he wouldn't remember. 

 

He would get angry and tell me he would remember.  I would read it to him and he would forget.  And I would have to read it again and again because, by gum, "He was going to remember it THIS TIME".  Eventually I said I would not read the manual to him unless he had a recorder going in his hand, that worked very well. 

 

He had a very nice handheld ham radio, an Alinco DJ-580-T.  I preferred the Radio shack HTX models, they had a 2 meter ham and a 440 (not in the same unit) and I liked them a lot.  They bore a strong resemblance to police radios so I NEVER got hassled.  In fact, some sleazebags would run away from me, once into oncoming traffic (they barely missed him). 

 

We got out of ham radio when we moved here because we couldn't find a good "community" hangout repeater (like a chat room).  And we had cell phones so we could talk to each other. 

 

I do think about getting back sometimes. 

 

So we will see what happens with Ron and the weather radio we had a communication fail.  He wanted one that did A, B, C.  I got that.  It didn't have a headphone jack.  He was adamant it had to do A, B, C, and a headphone jack.  Anything else?  No, just that.  So I ordered another, this time with his money. 

 

Today we were talking about it coming and he said "And it has bass and treble knobs!"  I told him no, it did not, you didn't ask for that.  You wanted A, B, C and a headphone jack and I asked. I was very unhappy and told him nothing ever made him happy. 

 

He realized they have many different models and the one he heard advertised was the deluxe model, he didn't ask for that and we likely can't afford it.  So hopefully he will be happy with what he is given. 

 

I really don't want to hassle with a return.  We will see. 

 

I am still waiting on my delivery but it is heavier and likely at the back and bottom of the truck.  The tree is almost gone from my yard it looks great, a lot of sawdust from the chainsaw but it's fertilizer. 

 

The funniest of all, it didn't snap at the base.  About 90% of it came down in my yard but 10% it standing up tall and proud in his yard, waiting to grow back. 

 

THAT is funny.  I hated that tree.  And it's not dead!  All that it's still alive! 

 

So Ron woke up I talked to him about the radio.  I fibbed a little and said I could not return it if he opened it.  He bitched at me for a while for "not understanding what he wanted".  I said you asked for a potato several times, I told you I was buying a potato, you got a potato and now that it's here you want an orange.  Selfish little brat. 

 

I also reminded him his back account balance "appears" to be "large" but I need a new computer, we need a new garbage disposal, and he needs to pay the insurance.  And I wasn't buying ANYTHING else until he took care of that. 

 

He said I "ruined his gift" and he would make sure to "ruin" my next gift, which is a JOKE as HE NEVER BUYS ME ANYTHING. 

Video Blog

Here we go: 

 

Chainsaws in my yard!

#6 came by this morning and asked if it was "OK" if he cleared out the tree.  Hell yah!  They are out there right now.  I was very appreciative it took him a little aback. 

 

Morally I think he did the right thing in getting rid of the tree.  Legally he did not have to but he took the moral high ground.  Saved us at least $500 dollars we don't have.  Can't make a claim because we have a higher (than 2K) deductible for wind damage.  We would have to pay the whole thing anyway and then they probably would drop us. 

 

But at least the damned thing will be gone before hurricane season. 

 

Our property (aside from shared fence) was not damaged.  The cats, Ron, and I are all fine.  It is going to be a long day but I'm OK with that. 

Boy I'm glad I didn't get nasty

Turns out if it falls in my yard it is my baby.  Unless the tree was in bad shape, and, as you can see from all those green leaves, it wasn't.  So we will see hopefully he will just have his guys do the whole thing.  We can't find the number for our yard man (weep with me).  Worst case we go on TV with Ron pitiful in the wheelchair and take it from there. 

 

Oh, what a day.  I am really hoping I hear them fire up some chainsaws tomorrow.  I have cold drinks in the fridge for whoever comes to fix it. 

Cleo and Spotty are adapting really well

Part two of Wednesday afternoon

I am just NOT UP for fighting with a computer right now.  Easier to just do a new post.  So, the tree fell in the yard.  It is a very big tree and occupies most of the back yard.  I couldn't go out as the weather was still bad but part of it was sitting on the cat cage, which is structurally OK. 

 

Of course the primary issue is the house OK?  The AC compressor is out back, was it OK?  WHOSE TREE WAS IT?  I just dreaded the thought of another insurance claim and thought for sure my company would drop me, after this. 

 

I made some phone calls.  My aunt wanted to know what kind of tree.  I don't know, a cheap, flimsy, crappy tree that broke in moderate wind.  He had two of them one in front, one in back, and they both broke.  Crap trees, that's what they are. 

 

This happened a couple of hours ago, he has not come home from work and no one has come to check if we're OK.  I am NOT HAPPY.  I will have a hard time keeping myself from biting his head off when he does show. 

 

So I finally got a chance to go out back when the worst of it passed, still raining but safe to go out.  Mud and rain everywhere I had to take off my flip flops when I was done because I kept slipping.  It is his tree, not mine, thank God.  He had BETTER have some guys out here tomorrow to get rid of it.  It did not touch the house or the AC unit.  The cats are all OK they had come in.  It is huge and literally occupies my entire back yard, which is thousands of square feet. 

 

He is damned lucky it went my way and not on his illegal additions.  His kids could have gotten hurt because I doubt he built the additions up to code.  The front tree broke away from their cars so they got lucky again on that.  I doubt he will file a claim if he is smart he will realize the adjuster will come out, see the illegal additions, and void his entire policy if he does.  He always utilizes "undocumented" workers so a lot cheaper for him anyway. 

 

He has been home for an hour, has freaking POTTING SOIL in the back of his pickup, hasn't come by to apologize or tell me how he is going to fix it.  I will give him until tomorrow afternoon.  If I don't see some activity I am going to call the news stations and the Spanish speaking ones can go to his house, stick a camera in his face as I have poor pitiful Ron in the wheelchair, and ask him what he plans to do to make things right. 

 

Ron fell out of bed that was exciting getting him back in.  I had to move the bed halfway across the room (not a big room), boost him into it, give him a little time to recoup, then put him in the wheelchair so I could move the bed back.  I cannot move the bed with him in it and don't care to try.  It is not worth destroying my back.  The worst part he fell on his talking alarm clock and it kept jabbering at us.  Very annoying.  I found a couple more empty urinals way under the bed so I tossed them.  He has 3 that ought to be plenty. 

 

I was glad #6 did not show while I was helping Ron I wouldn't have been able to answer the door.  But we will see like a lot of people he goes to bed late.  He probably wants to have "family time" before he comes by to tell us he will ante up. 

 

If he doesn't I am dead serious about calling the TV station he would look SO bad. 

If I asked for the adventure package I'm sorry and I take it back

So we went to work, sales are dismal, came home.  I had a little bit of a nap but a headache woke me up.  Also Ron had to take his pain pills and they get him pretty confused.  He needs pretty much one on one care, intensive, very confused.  But he wasn't hurting that I know of.  It will wear off eventually but I hate them for that.  I think that was the issue back in January during the re pipe. 

 

A storm was forecast and it rolled in.  Thunder, lighting, wind, not much rain.  Crash!  The trash can blew over.  CRASH!  I wonder what that was, it was out back.  I will look later. 

 

Ron called me in his room (again!) and I saw tree branches out his window, very close.  We don't have a tree close to Ron's window.  I went and looked out my sliding glass door and the whole back yard was full of tree. 

 

 

 

 

 

I really hate using Blogger with IE.  I will make a second post I can't get it to align. 

Wednesday morning

I had a long, nasty, gossipy post which I deleted and never published.  About a third party not me or Ron. 

 

I didn't sleep great last night, Ron and I went to work.  It was pretty dead so we just did what we could and left.  We came home, Ron stripped down to a t-shirt and went to bed.  I took off my socks. 

 

Odds are I am going to retire these pants as they are very baggy.  I thought I had gained some weight but these pants are pretty loose.  I don't like playing "Oops!  Flashed my undies!" games so I will save them to counterbalance the washer when I am going a load of jeans or something.  The drum has to be balanced or it jumps all over the floor.  So it will still have some use. 

 

Ron was having a bad day for pain but the meds have kicked in and he is snoring.  I wouldn't wish his pain on an enemy. 

 

Biscuit's eye is totally better so glad I didn't traumatize him with a vet visit and eye drops.  I was watching it. 

 

I have been giving him probiotics in wet food every day, which he enjoys.  Today I gave him (against my better judgment) some fishy food.  He and Baby Girl had a spat over it and he vomited into the bowl.  No one wanted to eat it after that so I got rid of it. 

 

The yard guy came by when we were at work and the yard looks great, he also put my trash can away (they were doing pickup right as we left).  I need to figure out a way to get rid of my fishy cat food I believe it blocks males.  I have a lot of mixed grill which I think is fine.  Everyone likes that. 

 

I like being able to offer a choice of wet or dry. 

 

I'm going to take a nap. 

Tuesday afternoon

I decided to go to Walmart, so I did that.  First ride was OK.  I got everything on the "vital" list.  I would have got more split peas but a store employee was standing by the beans looking stern.  I got the ham, seasoning, etc.  I got the cat food. 

I found oregano oil on clearance and bought it up.  I have already given a bottle to Arturo so I'm not "hoarding" it.  I put another in a bag for my aunt and will keep the last.  I am a big fan of oregano oil and sorry to see it go. 

 

No sheets at all, no spam, limited pasta.  I did get most everything on the list.  I was happy about that. 

 

I didn't find my tampons but got something else instead that has proven to work.  I found some nice bodywash in the men's section of the soaps.  It smells like a pine forest, I love it and got it.  I don't care if it is for men.  It was a little more than I spend ($7) but will last a while. 

 

I paid and went outside.  I won't bore you will all the details but over an hour later and still no Uber.  I was NOT HAPPY.  I called Arturo, HE came.  Good old Arturo I will be calling him more.  I gave him the Oregano Oil because I would hate to see him sick. 

 

I only buy Oregano oil in capsules, I had a bottle of the raw oil once and it was vile.  No one can do that.  I didn't even have that much, some Diet Dew, a case of water (coming up on hurricane season), cat food, etc. 

 

I got home and had been home for an hour when the driver called wanting to know my location.  That's just sad.  I took the $5 hit to "cancel".  Yes, I could probably get it back but I want it over with. 

 

All I will say is if you take a trip, take the trip.  Don't say you are coming and drive off in the opposite direction and park miles away.  In my opinion Uber needs to work on this.  This happened another time with me. 

 

But Arturo can use the business so I will be calling him more.  I will also go back to doing deliveries as well.  Although I had a bad time the last time I did that, I just haven't had a good time with Walmart lately. 

 

But I did get the very nice body wash I will use before I go to bed tonight.  I was standing there in the hot sun, nowhere to sit, my feet screaming thinking about how nice it's going to be to take a shower with my piney bodywash. 

 

I have had the shoes for a while, they are clearly shot so I tossed them when I got home.  If a shoe is not at least 90% for my feet I'm getting rid of it.  I would rather only have 1-2 good pair then a bunch of shoes that hurt my feet.  Plus I have to store my stuff one way or another. 

 

But I did get home.  I put everything away, some of the ham in the freezer, the rest in the fridge.  1 package will make 2-3 pots of the split pea so it's a very economical meal.  I have split peas for Ron, also fried chicken tenders from the store.  So he's set for days.  I got myself some pudding to eat for dinner, it is hot and I don't want anything heavy. 

 

I will do a load of laundry when I'm "done" for the day (with clothes) I have enough for a load.  I don't like big piles of laundry if I can help it.  Normally I wear clothes a few times if they are in good condition before I wash them, but I am phasing out of that, especially if I go to the store.  It is easier to just wash it. 

 

Ron was drinking in his room so I put some catnip on the bed so he and the cats could get buzzed together.  Baby Girl isn't a responder but the other cats are and have a good time.  Biscuit ate a considerable amount.  Good to see them having a good time. 

 

That's it for now. 

 

Edit: rather than do a new post I just added.  New body wash was very nice.  I smell vaguely woodsy but not too strong like those guys who douse themselves in cheap cologne.  I got my legs shaved, yay me.  I swapped out my razor I have been using that one for months. 

 

Spotty came home with a lizard, which I caught and put out.  It didn't run fast enough and Spotty got it again, it is somewhere in my home.  Hey, I tried.  Not my fault it is a dumb, suicidal, lizard. 

 

I want to do something with lentils tomorrow after work.  I have a little ham left.  It depends on my mood and energy level.  Something sure fire.  I need to think about it. 

 

I got some onion powder today that will help.  I also got some screw on plastic lids for my canning jars so I can put spices in them. 

 

I am doing a load of laundry now, the clothes I wore today and some other clothes.  Ron is pretty hard on his clothes (stains) but the Shout Gel has proven very effective.  I have a good amount of that and very happy I do. 

 

Carlos really did a great job fixing up my house.  I am so glad he has before and after photos to show people, plus my sparkling reference on the website AND my number available for any prospective customer to call.  I am super happy with his work and will be calling him back. 

 

First we have to get that homeowner's insurance paid.  Ron wasn't happy with the total but I reminded him 1.  They did not jack our rates much.  2.  They actually pay  3.  They did not drop us.  4.  They did not try to screw us over or play games, they just got their reports and cut a check.  So they are getting paid first. 

 

Now I'm done for a while. 

I got permission before sharing this. Ron: "I don't know these people"

So I fixed Ron up this morning, bed bath, deodorant, brushed his hair, dressed him, etc.  He wasn't far wrong when he said he was my big Ken doll I got to dress every day. 

 

I got him in the wheelchair.  As we are about to leave the house, the driver just moments away, I remembered his eyes.  He has prosthetics and they get a little goopy.  So I gave him a wet wipe to clean them (the unscented baby wipe works well).  He raised his hand to his face and said:

 

"My eye fell out.  Is it on the floor?" 

 

I looked all over the floor (this was not my first eye hunt although I doubt we have discussed it before).  I didn't see it. 

 

He couldn't ride paratransit with a hole in his head, can you imagine the driver's reaction?  Thank God we caught it before the ride arrived. 

 

I searched the floor carefully and found nothing, I took him back to bed, searched the covers, nothing.  I told him to search between his bed and the wall. 

 

He told me to go outside and wait on the driver, explain.  I did for about 10 minutes, no driver.  I went back in the house.  He said he had called and the poor dispatcher had been very flustered when he explained the problem, but ABSOLUTELY agreed NO ONE wanted him to ride without his eye. 

 

This has brought up an issue for me, I need a cheap, very dark, pair of sunglasses for Ron if this happens again and we can't find the eye.  I asked if he wanted to get new eyes and he said no.  It is his face.  It was a fairly long process back in 1999 and the solvents gave me a horrific migraine. 

 

He found the eye by the time I came back but work is out for the day. 

 

What a morning.  Thank God he did keep the eye closed when I looked at him. 

 

I generally avoid eye contact it is a bad habit and I need to look at his face more.  And get those sunglasses. 

 

But it could only happen to us.  I did make sure he washed it off before he put it back. 

I'm not asking for help.

I thought I should state the obvious. 

 

It seems like a fair proportion of readers seem to think I am asking for help and solutions.  As a general rule, I am not, unless it is a question like "What is a good chili powder?".  But when I talk about my personal life, caring for Ron, etc. I am not asking for solutions, advice, etc.  I am not asking for a "fix".  I am venting.  

 

Ron said this was covered in the Mars and Venus books, that a woman often has to say "I don't want an answer, I just want to vent" before talking to a man.  Once he knows that he can approach it "properly".  I see that with Ron sometimes. 

 

For instance, Biscuit had some minor eye irritation in one eye.  I talked about it to Ron who provided answers, I just wanted him to agree with me I did the right thing waiting a day.  I did and it looks much better, so glad I didn't take Biscuit back to the vet for an exam and eye drops.  But I had to tell him "He is already better, I just want to hear if I did the right thing waiting a day".  Once he got that he agreed. 

 

We had a cat who had an eye injury.  She had been a very loving cat who would cry at the door when I left.  After a couple weeks of eye drops she detested me so much she would hiss when she saw me coming.  So I didn't want to put the cat through all that if he could heal up on his own; and he has. 

 

But see, there I did not ask you to fix it or for advice, I had already made up my mind.  I have already made up my mind I will care for Ron as long as I am able.  I don't know how long that will be. 

 

As I've said, I have some health risks so I may die first.  You never know. 

 

But I was abandoned emotionally and physically by pretty much every adult figure in my life.  I am not saying that for pity, but to explain I know the feeling of being abandoned.  I will not do that to Ron if I am able to care for him. 

 

And, overall, he is "fine" right now.  I wish he would not get split pea soup on his pillow case when he eats, but that is a small thing.  He is pretty good about letting me do what needs to be done.  He is good to the cats.  I generally get enough sleep. 

 

I am OK, really.  I don't need "saving".  If I really wanted assistance I have phone numbers. 

 

Now I have trolls in a thread I had up about this, on a message board, and rather than discipline the trolls the moderator just deleted the whole thread and basically said any thread about my personal life will be deleted now. 

 

Doesn't seem fair.  It really bugs me when mentally unstable people I had BLOCKED for a reason are posting irrational crap and I get blamed for it. 

Monday night

Ron had a bad back attack but is better now.  I made him some more split peas, he ate when he felt better. 

 

I got online and was thinking about contact.  I think that is the worst casualty of the last couple months.  It used to be, someone liked 10 comments I made on Facebook, I just thought they liked me.  Now I give it the squint eye.  My high school best friend sent me a message, I wondered about her, too.  Was it her?  That is really sad and I don't know if I want to keep the mistrust or have it fade. 

 

A detailed exam by a specialist, when I was 17 said I was "extremely naïve and trusting".  Maybe I need to get more cynical. 

 

Hopefully I will sleep OK tonight, I am pretty tired and didn't have much caffeine.  I did all the food prep dishes. 

 

I really need some bigger nonstick pots.  My 2 quart was almost overflowing, I cooked 1 cup diced ham, .75 cup rice, and 1 cup dry split peas in it and it got pretty crowded.  But I only had one pot to wash at the end and Ron CERTAINLY didn't notice any changes as he gobbled it up.  So I will be cooking it all in one pot now I think. 

 

So bigger pots are on the list.  I am just happy he loves something that is so easy to make.  It is certainly good for him. 

Monday afternoon

Really pleased with home care for Ron today it has been very easy (as it goes).  I told him, after some work, my computer is good enough to make a monthly report (very important).  Also blog but he doesn't care about that, check email also important.  I explained what I had to do to get it going again and mentioned it had software updates dating back to 2015. 

 

"You need a new computer".  Well, I won't argue but I did tell him call the computer guy, a used is fine as far as I'm concerned as long as it isn't 5 years old.  He said he would get me a new one so we will see.  I certainly don't need top of the line:

File accounting reports

Blog

Check email

Message board

Facebook

Shopping

 

That is it and none of it is exactly high capacity so anything would work. 

 

I want to make a joke but will not.  Be careful what you wish for. 

 

Anyway, anything will work for me I am not picky and then I am good for years yet.  I even store the CPU on a shelf I made off the floor, I did that even before the flood and a good thing, huh?  I remember the adjuster and claims rep were shocked I did not lose a lot of personal property. 

 

Do me a favor and go do that, get your desktop off the floor if it is there. 

 

Too bad I had to turn off comments it would have been nice to hear if anyone did that. 

 

I have no idea what I am going for dinner after all that sugar this morning.  I'm still not hungry but then I had hundreds of calories in liquid sugar. 

 

[sigh]  Times like this I wish I had won the lotto and I had a personal chef to whip up some tikka masala or a nice juicy burger for me made of grassfed beef of course. 

 

That's what I would have, a housekeeper/organizer.  A driver.  And a chef.  Because at those prices you don't call them a cook.  Just wishing.  Oh, and a personal assistant for Ron 24/7.  Need to pee?  Get to the toilet RIGHT QUICK at 3 AM?  Jorge will help you, or whoever.  Now I'm cooking. 

 

I can dream about that sometime.  I would still cook now and then, the housekeeper could clean up. 

 

About dinner, I am going to have a sweet and sour chicken dinner with a (small) beef and bean burrito.  I want both and they are a reasonable amount of calories so doable for dinner.  I don't like to leave food in the freezer too long anyway. 

 

I like that I (and Ron) don't have expensive tastes I am just as happy with some rice and beans as long as my pills agree.  And they usually do.  I think the last time I got sick was the chicken fingers. 

 

I am fine with nuggets, roast leg quarters, I don't like fried chicken as we ate so many fried chicken leg quarters the first year of my marriage... chicken patty sandwiches, chicken salad, but I cannot do a chicken finger I get very nauseous.  So much for Raising Cane's. 

 

Now I want a roast chicken leg quarter!  With some potato wedges, mac and cheese, and a little bit of baked beans.  And I'm not hungry. 

 

Some of it is PMS (yes, even at my age) I get cravings for chicken but that is about it.  Happily I don't have the wracking cramps anymore.  That actually went away about the same time I had the tumor taken off my right ovary.  They wouldn't take the left side one (not large) to "save my fertility" even though I REQUESTED they take the whole ovary if they could not get the tumor.  He didn't listen and was quite proud he had defied my request. 

 

And look, I never had kids and now I have a 3% chance of it going malignant.  I probably have better odds of developing ovarian cancer than I do of getting the virus.  BUT the surgery did end the cramps.  And the right side tumor was the one causing me lots of pain.  Once I healed up it has never given me a lick of trouble.  I have a few small scars on my abdomen but that's it. 

 

Also I think age helped, I will talk about my sister because she's not around to tell me no, as she got older she got horrible fibroids and had to have a hysterectomy it got so bad.  Me I am having the opposite everything gets easier as time passes. 

 

Which is good as my Mom didn't have menopause until well into her 50's.  I am OK with that if that's how it works but I'm not having kids.  So it seems a little redundant, but having a cycle does help hormonally with heart and bone protective effects. 

 

The cats like the can of wet food with mashed up probiotics so much I think I will keep doing that.  Nothing fishy though. 

 

I have concluded it is just a terrible idea to feed a male cat of any age, food with fish in it.  They get blocked.  I have had 3 cats block on me, two died.  I am done crying over poor dead kitties, and they suffer horribly.  I want them to go peacefully when it's their time not early and in agony because I made a bad choice. 

 

So I only feed chicken food, and a urinary formula at that.  Wet food is all chicken based no fish anymore. 

 

That is the shame about Mike retiring, he worked for the other vendor and had cats.  I would give him cat food sometimes if my cats didn't like it, he said his always loved every bit.  I have some fishy canned stuff his cats would love.  Maybe I need to give him a call, visit and bring him some cat food.  although last I heard he wasn't doing well. 

 

In the meantime I have some Mixed Grill everyone loves that it is basically everything left when you butcher a chicken.  Might as well use it, and the cats love it.  I hope I can keep getting it.  I do expect the price to go up on all cat foods. 

 

Ron is trying to arrange a vodka delivery over the phone so we will see who comes with what.  I had a couple of salt tablets as I was craving salt so I don't get a headache. 

 

I need to work on snacks, I tend to be very good at always having something for Ron but do the caregiver thing where I don't get anything for myself.  For instance, the cheese.  I bought a huge block of cheese.  I need to cut it up, freeze some of it. 

 

I think I will go do that now. 

 

The great curry massacre

Yesterday I made Ron his split peas, the recipe he likes.  He is a "make the same thing over and over again" kind of guy. 

 

I remember his horror when, many years ago, I suggested putting carrots in the gumbo.  He was aghast. 

 

For my own food I like to change it up now and then.  About half the time I wish I hadn't.  One reason I don't buy expensive cuts of meat, etc. unless I am using a tried and true method. 

 

But I have a fair amount of lentils.  Since I plan for worst case I figured, a while back I would be eating a lot of rice and beans.  As a result I might want to spice them up, I bought various curry powders.  I may have written about it. 

 

I had some energy at the end of the day yesterday so I decided to make curried lentils.  Mistake #1, I bought curry in a plastic bag (it was sealed of course).  #2.  I did not smell it before I used it.  So I wasted a (small) pot of beans on that I kept putting powder and it still didn't smell or taste right, just a faint and icky anise flavor.  I had no problem tossing that when they cooled off.  I threw away that powder.  I found another one "best buy 2017" (small plastic jar) I threw that out too.  I have a 3 ounce glass jar, and a 7 ounce pouch I just bought so I will try the pouch I think, if it is good put it in one of my canning jars with a screw on lid. 

 

A lot of curry ended up in "the bin" at the end of the day.  And I need to find a really good curry that works for me so I can buy a pound of it. 

 

If that's my worst problem...

 

I slept in, got up and gave the cats both dry food, and wet food with probiotics in it.  I think that is just a good daily practice.  Yesterday the tom cat tried to get in the house again, he is a dead ringer for Spotty, and intact, so likely Spotty's father.  He does spray things in the yard so I wouldn't want him even fixed. 

 

My cats are united in their hatred of this poor fellow and four of them ganged up on him and beat the snot out of him when he tried to get in yesterday.  Even then I had to go over to the cat door, lift the curtain, shout "You're not my cat!  Go away!  I don't want you!  You don't live here!" etc. before he reluctantly left.  He looked so disappointed. 

 

But I did not have my adoptive mother spend HUNDREDS on new curtains for me, I have (what I consider) nice bedding, afghans I made, etc. all over the house to be peed on.  Yes, I know about Nature's miracle.  Do I want to have to go buy a bottle?  No.  Oddly that was another thing taken by the movers. 

 

I also spent some time with Cleo on the couch, petting her and singing made up lyrics to Tik Tok at her "Calico on your nose, nose" etc.  She purred so she must have liked it.  She is actually rubbing up against me now and purring.  She's a sweet cat who seems to have picked me as her person. 

 

I don't feel bad for Ron, he has Baby Girl.  And Spotty would love to be Ron's cat. 

 

I took my shower and Ron asked for a bed bath, got it, I was pretty quick too.  It is warm enough he doesn't need a heater during the bath.  That's all done. 

 

The only thing I would do differently I used two squirts of soap in the water, one would have been plenty.  But he's clean and happy, and was very cooperative during the bath.  He is happy in bed. 

 

He is, to quote the cereal, going to poop like a champion after all the split peas.  He ate two big bowls today.  I need to get a bigger pot so I can make double batches!

 

Cleo just can't get enough petting, I offered her treats she doesn't want then, just lots of petting.  I think she is making up for no soft pets during the first year of her life.  She is just super cute, good looking, and a nice little cat.  I'm glad she came back after the pipe break. 

 

She hasn't been sleeping with me lately but 3 did during my nap yesterday, that was pretty funny with Spotty in my armpit. 

 

Happily I don't need to do laundry today I have a couple cleaning rags drying out in the laundry room and then I will put them in the basket but wet rag + dirty clothes = huge mold issues. 

 

The house doesn't need much I will do the boxes of course and maybe sweep but I have been staying on top of the dishes.  It is a lot easier to work in my kitchen now that I rearranged it and threw away a bunch of stuff I don't miss. 

 

We had a pretty good amount of rain last night but nothing massive, but enough to water the plants and keep the foundation from shifting. 

 

They brought me real Mountain Dew on my last order that is a lot of calories but I am cheap enough to drink it.  Just a 6 pack of bottles, not a case or anything. 

 

That's it for now. 

I am done with "natural" deodorants

I took a shower this morning and used the "natural, aluminum free" deodorant.  It is a name brand, too. 

 

I spent hours cooking and doing dishes in a warm house because cold air locks up Ron's back.  He was very happy with the results. 

 

I put my shirt in the wash as it was pretty done and laid down for a nap.  I like to put one arm up above my head but WHEW the deodorant failed.  Spotty got into bed with me, ran over to the offending armpit, curled up in it, and went to sleep.  I guess it's true cats like things that smell like their caretaker.  He stayed there most of my nap, very happy. 

 

When I got up I used one of the bath wipes and the Secret.  The Secret has never failed me, and I got it right after the pipe break when I was under a LOT of stress, if anytime I needed a good deodorant it was then.  And I'm glad of the choice.  I am fine now but whoo that was strong. 

 

I decided I do not need deodorants that fail me under any circumstance so I threw out all the "natural" ones.   I need something reliable. 

 

Spotty will no doubt be disappointed when I go to bed later but he'll live.  I had, at one point, a total of 3 cats in the bed.  That was very nice. 

Sunday morning

I had a good phone call with my parents.  I suspect they thought they would never see the money again when they loaned it, and are very happy I am repaying them. 

 

It's the least I could do and when I said $250 a month I figured that coming out of my pay.  Ron can do what he wants but I am going to pay them.  Most months he gives me some of it. 

 

Ron wanted an old college stand by last night: chili and rice.  He had asked for it a few times.  So I made a pot of rice and opened a can of chili.  He was quite happy and had enough for 2 meals.  He made a horrible mess but had a good time.  He really enjoyed it, I have plenty of both rice, and chili, so easy to make. 

 

It literally takes 20 seconds to set up the rice pot and walk away for half an hour.  Then use the little spatula to put some in a cup - Ron likes to eat out of foam cups and if I do that he can feed himself - with the chili.  I don't even heat up the chili. 

 

Super easy.  He is almost out of split peas so I will make him more of them too.  Not today though it's a little late to get the gas stove going and boiling water in here...it can wait until tonight or tomorrow. 

 

The nice thing both meals are very nutritious.  I don't rinse the rice so it has the vitamins in it.  The split peas have loads of vitamins, minerals, and protein.  He could do a lot worse.. and he is so appreciative and grateful it makes it fun to cook for him. 

 

About the only thing I need to do is put my hair up when I start cooking, because no one likes hair in the food (hasn't happened yet and won't). 

 

I fed the cats before I went to bed, didn't sleep too well at first but did once I made a change.  I am very glad I did that, I slept great and woke up feeling refreshed for a change.  I was pretty depressed though.  I took a kratom (first one this month) and that helped a lot.   

 

I took care of Ron, food, bath, change of clothes, he is good now.  I gave him our new protocol for pain and that seemed to help.  Oh, and #6 was super quiet last night with the graduation party.  They apparently, like with the quince, went somewhere else to party.  I heard them come home but that was  it. 

 

Ron and I were talking about the dog they had, a little terrier.  She adored Ron and he thought she was precious.  The cats used to play with her she was so lonely.  If I had less on my plate I might have adopted her.  But cats are always a lot easier they only go in the litter box, they don't need much, don't chew, etc.  Don't get me wrong, they want attention but if you can't give it that second they are OK. 

 

I might consider volunteering at the shelter if we had more time but we are both softhearted and very likely to bring work home with us.  I have a particular soft spot for Mama cats and their babies, it is so sweet to watch the mom cat with the babies, I would love to foster them until they were old enough to adopt.  If I had a country place I would probably always have a foster family. 

 

I was talking about being a caregiver and said one thing we are really lacking is support, in general it is very difficult to get help or appreciation for what we do.  Not to mention help with a new wheelchair, ramp, etc.  Not that we need any of that but I know people who do. 

 

One guy (I assume it was a man you never know online) said it was my fault because I married Ron the way he is now.  So that means society should revile me?  I couldn't get that and found it actually laughable.  Probably believes in euthanasia too - just exterminate all those pesky seniors and disabled.  Why waste money if you don't have to?  They have been used up throw them out like an old soda can. 

 

Great thinking until it is you in the wheelchair.  A good example: Ron used to be pretty critical of "wheelchair people" thought they were unreasonable and should just "stay home" instead of always asking for accommodations.  Until Ron's the one in a wheelchair.  Then he was very grateful for the wheelchair cabs, curb cuts, etc.  He changed his mind but he had to actually live it, and I think that's where a lot of people reside. 

 

I do expect prevailing hostility toward the elderly and disabled as we get closer to the rapture.  The end times are ugly; and the Bible says (2 Timothy Chapter 3) that people will be "without natural affection". 

 

I am going to go figure out cooking Ron said he wants more split peas. 

Saturday afternoon

I think I figured out part of my headaches; normally I take my medication before I take a nap. 

 

Didn't get much of a nap today as SOMEONE kept BUGGING me every 5 minutes all afternoon.  But the neighbors have been relatively quiet with the graduation party, I believe they are at the ceremony right now. 

 

My lentils came early they weren't expected for another week.  But they arrived in good condition so that was great.  I did feel a little bad about making the carrier lug them around in the heat.  I mean, it wasn't too bad, she just carried them up the driveway but still. 

 

I had serious computer issues I couldn't get Chrome to load at all, it kept crashing my computer.  I finally got it going (after some work) on IE but it was a nasty half hour.  And Ron wanted me to buy him something online and kept bugging me.  But I did get it done. 

 

I do hope I can get Chrome going again I need some bookmarks. 

 

At one point I was so frustrated I was happy to clean the litter box just to do something I knew would have a good result. 

 

I am going to call my Dad in a little bit.  I suspect a lot of people are staying home and overloading servers spending time online today.  That would be my guess. 

 

I hope I sleep OK tonight I am tired of lying awake in bed trying to sleep and then waking up a couple hours after I do. 

 

 

Saturday morning

I am still figuring out the "new" blogger.  I got up last night.  

I have read it is better to get out of bed until you feel tired, and then go back.  I can have a hard time dropping off and the last thing I want is to lie in bed for hours.  

So I got up, I looked at bean seasonings on Amazon.  Badia and Bolner's Fiesta both have good looking ones.  I may buy some later on I wish listed them on my list, not the gift list.  I also ran the dryer while the house is cool.  

I went back to bed.  I slept OK, slept in and got up at 9.   The cats were quite upset, they are used to breakfast between 4-7 AM.  

I should have fed them in the middle of the night and I will do that next time.  

I got up, took a shower, a lot of helping Ron.  He was OK at first but lacks understanding on pain management.  

He will come to me (I feel fine making this public, BTW, and thought before I began writing), I am in pain.  So I will give him various OTC remedies including hemp oil, essential oil roll on, magnets, Kratom, Advil.  He took his prescription.  

5 minutes later he is demanding I give him vodka - where he got this  belief I am his bartender I have no idea - I told him, ever so kindly, "Get it yourself".  

He then told me the stuff I had given him "wasn't working" - it had been 5 minutes.  And then stated that vodka was a "sure fix as it always did the job".  No, what I gave him does the job.  The vodka just keeps him entertained until it kicks in.  

I will have the pain doctor discuss this with him; that it takes a while for pain meds to work.  

He got pretty ugly so I walked out of the house and sat in the chair out front.  

He says I don't understand chronic pain.  He had a migraine once and he was weeping with it, and this was well before the accident, begging me to give him something to make it stop.  Then realized I dealt with that level of pain several times a month (back then).  He was very understanding for a while.  I get chronic pain I have plenty.  I don't make a production out of it and demand everyone in my circle come and tend me.  

I wrote somewhere else I imagine Ron would do a lot more for himself if I were not in the picture.  He has gotten spoiled.  

#6 is unloading an awning, folding tables and chairs, he had a graduation sign for his oldest out front for a few months now.  I guess they are having the party tonight.  I will endeavor to be understanding, not call the police.  I am encouraged he has the awning as that seems to indicate they are having an earlier party?  We will see.  They have been OK recently 

I didn't see any cats when I was out but it is in the upper 80's already.  

I have, for now, decided to keep the blog public as I think it is OK.  I can always make changes anytime I need to.  

I am not hungry but I probably need to eat.  I tend to only be hungry in the evening so I may just wait until then.  I don't think it will hurt me.  

If I get a headache I will point the finger at stress.  

The middle of the night

I went to bed early and was just falling asleep, I have trouble falling asleep if I have more than about 300 mg of caffeine.  I heard very loud, almost pained meowing.  I sprang out of bed thinking it might be Biscuit, blocked again, although he did not meow the only time he got blocked, he just squatted there with a baffled expression.  

Biscuit came running over to me very friendly, rolled over on his back, begging, acting normal.  So it wasn't him.  I petted him for a while and went back to bed.  I managed to fall back to sleep and had a nightmare, it was pretty vivid so I got up.  While I was up I implemented my policy and checked on Ron, he took a Coke and told me to go away, he was reading (talking book).  He was nice about it.  

I got on the computer for a while.  I have been yelled at again for having the blog and am debating making it private.  If I do it will not be something I want to do but something for my safety.  Some of the comments were very disturbing, there is a lot you didn't see I deleted.  

On a totally unrelated note I did sleep better layering some sheets on the bed, it was more comfortable without laying on the mattress cover right underneath the sheet.  So I am sleeping cooler.  

Ron told me when he gets cold his back locks up so good reason to keep the thermostat up.  We keep it around 85 unless someone is coming over.  

That's it for now.  

Friday afternoon

We went to work, stocked, came home.  I had already planned to remake the bed.  I thought it was absolutely hysterical when I found cat puke in Ron's.  I had to wash the sheets anyway so it was good timing for the cat, whoever they were.  

I ran the washer but have not done the dryer cycle yet as it seems dumb to run the dryer and the A/C at the same time.  

My hemp protein came today, I just made a shake with it and my vegan powder (rice and pea protein).  It was very good and had loads of protein.  I like to combine my proteins if at all possible.  

I had a small burrito with it hopefully that will be enough to hold my pills, which I took.  Ron needed some "care and feeding" today but not too much.  I will not be talking much about home care anymore due to SNITCHES.  

But what I had to do wasn't bad.  Ginger root seems to be working for his back, at least helping.  

I am concluding there is no one fix for his back but several things working together.  We just need to figure them out.  

I had planned to go strip my bed just now and set it up so I have some padding between me and that mattress cover.  But Biscuit is sleeping so sweetly all stretched out in the bed, I can't do it to him.  I won't make him move I will just wait for him to get up on his own.  I am not going to bed for hours anyway.  

We are not going anywhere tomorrow; it's a holiday weekend and everyone will be out.  It is hot.  And we are tired from today.  

I didn't sleep well last night so I hope I will sleep better tonight.  I went easy on the caffeine so hopefully that will help.  

My elbow has been bugging me too much time on the computer so I need to scale back.  Other than that I am doing pretty good.  

I got the card

Very sweet as always you are a real gift.  

In all this I have never suspected you were my trouble maker.  I look forward to getting them and you always seem to have the right thing to say.  

I had a coffee mug from Indiana someone gave me an Amish mug in exchange for some San Francisco ones many years ago.  :)  

But I donated the whole collection some years ago, I didn't have room for it anymore.  

I will be remaking some beds today

Not that anyone had a problem but those rubber sheets make the bed so hot... 

I put a rubber sheet on my mattress when I got it back in March because cats do get sick in the bed and I still have my period.  Everything I read says things will become unpredictable/heavy with my cycle so better to have the mattress protected.  It is a very comfortable mattress.  It cost me $270 back in 2016, it has memory foam and springs.  

But last night I was so hot and uncomfortable, and it was coming from underneath.  It took me a while to realize the rubber (vinyl actually but rubber is easier to spell) sheet was reflecting my own body heat back at me.  

I took my quilt and spread it out on the mattress, immediate relief.  

I have some flat sheets so I will be putting those on top of the rubber for now, that should help, and do Ron's too because I want him to be comfortable.  Although he hasn't complained.  

I think I will just use cheap flat sheets to "break" Ron's bed but get myself a mattress pad, as I have fewer changes.  

It is not always what you think, he has cats in his bed, sometimes they get sick.  He eats in bed and spills food, so have to wash the sheets.  Plus they should be washed anyway every week or so...

Thursday noon

I took a nap, Ron woke me up.  

He had asked me to turn off the AC earlier as he was cold so I did, I figured sooner or later he would want it on as it's going to be over 90 today.  And he did, woke me up but that was OK, I was working on a headache.  

I fixed the AC and had a hemp smoke in the garage.  That fixed the headache.  

Ron wanted me to turn the floor fan on the thermostat, odd but it works.  I turned it on for the first time in ages and a horrible rattle.  He will want to run this fan at night so I said no way.  We agreed to take it out to the curb which I did.  

We had a backup and I turned that on, it is very nice and cool now.  The new fan is incredibly quiet which is what I want, but it does sit in my doorway so I'm sure I'll fall over it a few times on my way to the bathroom tomorrow.  

So Ron woke up in horrible pain, got that with Kratom and hemp oil, he had a good sleep.  Gave him a couple more doses as needed and he seems fine.  He is curled up with Baby Girl I swear they are married.  

I find it very endearing.  

I got one of my deliveries so that's good.  The big one is due today so we will see if I get it in a timely manner.  I am a little skeptical they can get it (a heavy item) cross country in one day to my doorstep BUT I have been surprised, like when Dad sent the Express mail check for my plumbing.  I did get that in one day.  

The neckbones were really good and I made the right amount for one person.  I will have some for breakfast tomorrow.  I have allocated a protein shake for tonight.  

Ron already made our work trips for tomorrow so I don't have to wake him up.  I am a little tired but OK.  

I have actually had an acceptable amount of caffeine today so I won't have any more.  That should ensure I sleep tonight.  

That's it for now.  

I finally have a good neckbones recipe

Most of my neckbone attempts have been pretty weak.  

But I was raised never having seen one in my life so I am winging it.  Not a lot of recipes out there that are easy.  I don't want 30 ingredients and 4 pots to clean.  

I will give general directions because I only made a few servings' worth and you may want to make a bigger one.  

Smoked neckbones (mine had salt in it so I didn't need to add any)

Can diced tomatoes (for a small crockpot might want 2 for a big one)

Red potatoes 

1/2 t pepper 

3 cloves garlic

I quartered the red potatoes and put them in the bottom of the crock pot.  I put the neckbones to cover, a good layer almost to the top, put the pepper on top, opened the can of tomatoes and added them.  I added some water to mine because I cooked it a very long time (18 hours).  

They were excellent I gobbled them up.  Ron won't touch them but I will be making these again.  

EASY.  That is key for me I used a crock pot bag so minimal cleanup.  Only a couple ingredients.  The only hard part I found was picking out all the bones.  

But I am really glad I have some more smoked neck bones so I can cook this again.  It has a very rich and flavorful broth.  This will be fantastic over rice but I am happy with just the potatoes.  

You could always leave the potatoes out if you don't want the carbs or don't like them.  

Early Thursday

I went back to sleep and slept pretty well except for odd dreams.  

When I woke up Ron was having a very bad day for pain.  So bad he screamed and began crying when I put the phone in his hand.  

Some of you may wonder why I don't "do something" for his pain.  I have taken him to countless doctors, had 2 EMG tests done, neurologist, pain specialist, general doctors, chiropractor, CAT scans, MRI, etc.  They all say his back is just wrecked from the accident.  They could possibly do surgery but no promises it would make things better.  At least now he can get to the toilet, and stand.  We are both pretty firm we would like to keep it that way.  

And the last back surgery did not "stick".  The arthritis is just that bad.  He also said back surgery is "Worse than getting run over" unquote.  

So, today, he took his pain pills, some Advil (he can never remember the name), 6 Kratom (there is no way to OD on Kratom), two droppers of CBD oil, he said the taste on that wasn't very bad and he almost didn't need a drink.  We will see if it helps, I left the bottle in there for him.  He is very sensitive to touch and doesn't want the roll-on.  He isn't screaming anymore so hopefully something is working.  

It seems synergistic approach works the best, CBD oil and Kratom with the Advil, for instance.  Roll on with CBD oil internally plus Kratom and Advil.  You get the idea.  Single approaches do not work.  

But he seems a little better now.  He cried when I told him I didn't expect him to work today and immediately lunged for the phone to cancel the trips.  I am not sure if I am going in on my own, later, or whether we both go tomorrow.  

Cleo is next to me on the couch purring and rubbing against me.  I took the crockpot off the heat and will put it in the fridge when it cools.  I will make some rice, later, and put the meat and broth over that.  

I find it funny I hardly ever eat bread and don't even buy it unless I am craving a sandwich.  I also don't eat a lot of potatoes there is a good chance the ones I have may sprout before I serve them all.  But I do like rice as a carb which is why I put the rice pot on my wish list.  I have a rice pot but it is a pain to clean.  

I like the idea of red cookware and will be getting it as needed.  I still haven't figured out what I am doing with the kitchen when I paint it.  

I have medium brown cabinets and fake wood countertops.  I could paint the cabinets but from what I have seen that is a pain.  I could just paint the walls (most likely) but what color?  Front room adjacent is orange and turquoise.  I suppose I could do an orange kitchen although it would kill the resale value.  I don't want to do a turquoise kitchen I am already doing Ron's room in turquoise.  Yellow might be fun but would I get sick of it?  Hard to say.  

I am going to go take a shower.