Sunday, May 17, 2020

Sunday morning

I slept pretty well last night some odd dreams but nothing horrible.  Ron needed some help when I got up but nothing major, mainly a cold drink.  

I have said this to other people and maybe I need to say it more here, Ron is very appreciative, most of the time, when he needs help.  He is very good at what my Dad called the "magic words" "please and thank you".   He often feels terrible asking for help even though I strive to be compassionate and understanding, never shame or castigate him.  

I am still baffled why the caller said all that about Ron's possible toilet issues.  My aunt was horrified the worker asked about toileting and did we have any difficulties... she said she would have flatly refused to answer those questions.  I did answer and I told Ron later he was OK with it. We both figure the more data she gets the faster she can leave us alone.  She is very nice but we are not asking for help.  

Ron is lying in bed "peaceful" and I am clearly on the computer.  I am going to take a shower shortly and go look around outside for the kitten.  If it doesn't have a home I will find it one through one of my Facebook groups.  Texas Litter Control is cheap enough I could get her (?) fixed before I rehome her so I know she will not "litter".  Poor little nut probably a feral or someone didn't fix their adult female.  

You will notice I fixed my girls the second I got them.  Like Ron said, you can wait a little while on a boy but you have to get the girls done right away.  

I took my shower, realized I am depressed.  That's no fun.  But not surprising.  

I don't know how to refer to the person who is interfering in my life, making horrible comments, etc.  Or even if I should.   "Stalker?"  "Fan?"  "Reader?"  but I have a lot of readers so that could get confusing.  

Edit: referring to them as the snitch.  

Anyway I was bathing and I had a vision of them sitting behind the keyboard as Emperor Palpatine when I was venting saying "Good, good... give in to the hate!"  Very apt I felt.  

I finished up in the shower, got dressed, went out, I didn't see the kitten but someone ate the whole can of food.  I checked the cat hideaways I have in the yard and nothing, but that little bed in the plastic box has been getting some use.  

I am not going to worry I didn't hear it crying.  If I had I would have talked to the tenants in the house about trying to rescue the cat, tried to talk/bribe it down, and then called animal control if I couldn't get it.  

But it's fine now and so are my guys.  

I was working on a headache so I had a hemp smoke.  It is drizzling but not bad.  It also helped my nausea from the medication.  Good stuff.   

It is a little discouraging yesterday I ate everything right at the right times and still depressed today.  I had a plant protein shake (sometimes my gut can be a little iffy with dairy and medication, and I would rather give up the dairy), lentils with rice, etc.  And I just want to go back to bed.  

I don't think there is an easy way for me to say was percentage of a mood shift is due to events going on around me vs. just chemical changes in my brain but I tend to lean towards the second.  I remember getting manic at some rough times when, by all evidence, I should have been depressed.  Last year around the pipe break for instance.  The accident; some days I was manic, some depressed.  It just depended on brain chemistry.  Last year was pretty funny my house was wrecked I had these horrible loud machines going night and day and I was watching this Meow mix club video again and again.  Let me see if I can find it.  Meow mix 10 hour

Different people handle things different ways.  I did a lot of the home care stuff for Ron, he is good for a while, not hungry.  

I put some pizza in the freezer some time ago, I took it out yesterday and put it in the fridge.  I plan for us to eat it today.  I need to do a load of laundry but not urgent.  

That's it for now.  

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