I had to help Ron some today but I don't mind. 99.9% of the time he is VERY appreciative and acts like whatever I did was a big deal, even if I just brought him a cold drink. His back was bad enough he did, in alphabetical order: Advil, Kratom, Magnets, and Tramadol for his back he is better now.
I am not doing anything "work" related except taking out the trash.
I did get a scare during my shower very odd noises and then when I got out the toilet bowl was dry? Maybe they were forcing bubbles through to clear something, it has happened before. Always scares me to death it just sounds awful. The shower ran and drained perfectly so not worried.
Good to hear Ron singing in the back. He was pretty miserable earlier. It is hard for me to watch him suffer no one talks about this part of caregiving.
Here's this person I love. Most of the time I want wonderful things for him, happiness, joy, etc. But he doesn't get that, he gets agonizing pain that cripples. It keeps him up at night, makes him snap at me, so bad at times he is literally in tears begging God to make it stop. It matters because I care, because I care, it hurts me too watching him suffer. Not one of the books talked about this. They talked about setting up trusts, equipment to buy, how to hire an aide (assuming you could afford one), how to get them in and out of a wheelchair. They talked about every damned thing but never talked about this.
It is hell.
Not because he is doing something to me but because it is exhausting and excruciating watching a loved one suffer with chronic pain. No one talks about this that I've read. It just isn't discussed.
You may wonder why I still have the blog up and open after getting reported. This is one reason. So some other caregiver in Norway or where ever can say "It's not just me!" I can only imagine it is even worse if you have a child suffering.
At times I wished I did hate him so it wouldn't affect me any more.
5 comments:
You know who talks about this? The caregiver support groups that I have mentioned in the past. They do. My Dad attended them while he was my Mom's caretaker.
The AA group was a disappointment at best. After that, I got burned pretty good here just talking in my blog, not really eager to stick my neck out again.
And I would say this to the reporting party: You have made me and Ron LESS likely to seek help when we need it and I hope you can live with that. I hope you considered that when you were busy "saving" us.
Get real you were never going to get help for ron or yourself that's probably why they did what they did to try and get you help. More than anyone in your family did.
Did I ask for help? NO I DID NOT. All they did, whoever they are, is cause me more stress. Not exactly a kind and loving thing to do.
I feel the action was more punitive than helpful.
I also STRONGLY suspect my half sister because this is the sort of thing she does, go off half cocked "saving" people who don't want it while neglecting her own, MAJOR, issues. Ron is lying in bed petting his cat listening to Willie Nelson, I am doing laundry, it's a pretty good life most days.
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