Let me get a Mountain Dew. OK.
I am very sad about something. When I was a kid I used to love church, I had friends in the youth group, including the boy I liked who was always so nice and sweet, nice people who were very understanding of my quirks, etc. Good teaching at the pulpit although my stepmother had me working with the toddlers for some bizarre reason through high school. I had enough toddlers to last me a lifetime and that pretty much killed any desire to have my own.
Strange to think those toddlers have their own kids now.
But it was good community. There were some problems the youth pastor had some beliefs that were not in line with the Bible, didn't believe in the rapture, believed Jesus did not do his miracles, etc. But on the plus side he encouraged us to love God and each other.
It was a place I could GO when I was suicidal and needed bolstering or just come companionship and good teaching. And if you have that cherish it.
But the church split when the pastor remarried quickly after his wife died of cancer. My parents were in the "He did all his mourning when she was sick" group but the majority group threw this long term pastor out of the church with his new wife. Poor woman. Poor pastor! The youth pastor left in a huff after the board refused to promote him, so no youth group.
My parents took me to a mega church. I didn't fit. I felt like my roots got ripped out from under me. It was a very difficult time and a miracle I didn't attempt suicide.
Then I moved in with Ron and the whole living in sin thing kept me away from churches for quite some time. I was embarrassed, to be blunt. I would read the Bible at home and pray now and then (generally when I wanted something). I got online in 1998 I think that is safe to share, and found some chat groups discussing faith. I was debating the rapture (yes, I believe) with some other members and someone sent me a private message I should check out Rapture Ready.
Back then it was Todd leaving a message every Tuesday and doing his "Rapture Index". He got a message board and I was one of the first members. For many years I was simply "Heather". Some RR people have followed me here one may or may not be the one with an unhealthy interest, that's between them and God. But it was a good place to go for a while I was able to share about Ron's accident etc. and the prayer request thread was insane. I had thousands of replies.
Good for a little while and then the board started asking for money, the tone changed, they wanted it seemed more debate and less "sharing".... I left.
I started the blog. I did my sharing here.
Still do. Even now.
One RR member (a Facebook friend as well) talked me into joining a split board. It was good but my life was so depressing all I could write about was Ron verbally abusing me, drinking, and I was miserable. It got old and I was embarrassed. I always felt we would have a happy ending where Ron would realize his wrongs, right them, treat me with respect (he is better about that) and we would sail off into the sunset.
At the end of it I guess I am a romantic.
So I left that board but the one member saw I was having problems with the bathroom wall falling in. She contacted a local church in my area. Her church, same denomination, did home repairs for Christians in need.
I had been doing the Bible Handouts and serious prayer and Bible study for a couple of years by this point. She mentioned that to them and they sent someone out to have a look.
Pete thought it was great, he was out of town in Houston and looking for a home repair project and mine was going to be some WORK. He took the job (no pay all I ever did was feed him and keep a cooler full of drinks for him). On demo day all he did was put his hand on the wall and give it a slight pull, and the whole thing caved in.
I told him God was the only thing holding it up! LOL
So they fixed it, I appreciated it, Pete was diligent about taking us to church every Sunday because it was out of the paratransit service area. But he left town and we had difficulties with rides after that.
I sadly remembered how (and Ron was walking back then) my Dad had picked up a blind lady every Sunday and brought her to church with us every week. It was just something we did every week, go get this lady. We took her home too Dad liked her because he hates to wait and so did she, so my stepmother would cut the socializing down to get everyone home quick.
And Dad felt it was his duty to do this, it was something a good Christian did. Apparently not everyone has that perspective, I realized.
About that time one of the workers wanted to know about my preps/storage food and I had a garden as well. I showed him everything and explained my reasoning to him.
Times have gotten very bad for me to the point, at times, I wondered how I was going to eat. So it seems prudent to have a little extra. If nothing else during a pandemic you can shop your cupboard instead of having to go to the store with all the germs.
Anyway, he said "I don't know anyone who does this" thought it was "really cool" and went back and must have told the pastor because the pastor started preaching against prepping of any sort. I knew it was directed at me because the church member had told me no one else in the church did this. Pastor kept going on about how "bad" it was, "God would provide" etc.
Noah was a prepper and humanity only exists because he saved 2 of each animal and enough food and water for all of them to get through the flood. Joseph stored enough grain to save not only the whole nation of Egypt but surrounding nations as well, including future Israel. Proverbs is full of maxims like this:
Proverbs 30:25 NIV
Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer
So I knew he wasn't on track.
Then he started preaching against my medication, saying that no one should take mental illness medication ever because it was ALL addictive and it was a sin. I was just sitting there in my chair next to Ron gaping at the man.
That is so wrong on so many levels. The Bible never preaches against taking medication, it says "Don't be a drunkard" (Ron! Pointed at you!) and a passage in Revelation can be translated "Don't be a drug addict".
But my meds are not addictive. They do not get me high. I can tell when they kick in but that's it. And they keep me a good functional member of society.
I couldn't believe anyone could preach against that. Eventually I finally sent him an email and he never responded.
I was done with organized religion after that. I'v even stopped doing my Bible Study and prayer time....I hope to get that back but if he tried to drive me off and wreck my faith he could not have done a better job.
I wonder if he was still preaching against prepping during all the shortages.
I know God is going to spank him for this but it's just so sad I went for help and got kicked in the face repeatedly.
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