The frozen chosen

 If I tell you the whole story you will know way too many details about my life.  

But I will say someone associated with work died in a domestic violence incident. I attended the funeral this morning, it was a "celebration of life" one.  

If I had my own ride I would have gone just for the funeral and skipped the viewing, but the woman who gave me the ride wanted to do both.  I did not view the body.  It was hard enough finding Ron dead much less having him dead in my house for hours until the morgue took him away.  I don't need to relive that.  

She talks a lot about people so I knew I would be on the chopping block but she did save me $40 in cab fare.  So she saw the house, I told her it is a 2 bedroom, she already knew it was paid off.  We talked a little about HOA's.  Later on I told her Ron was a drunk and a mean one.  All true.  I haven't looked at it like that before but more now realizing I deserve a man who will treat me right.  

I didn't say that of course, just that I preferred Ron smoking pot because "he was nice, unlike when he drank, and he drank a lot" and left it at that. She heard me that was obvious.   I don't care if that makes the rounds.  

Beau probably ought to know anyway.  

We stayed 2 hours, the funeral was still going when I left but I did interact with the family.  So I feel I did my part.  

I got dropped at home, I did not have my bus pass or my walking shoes and it can be a long half mile from the bus stop to my door.  I changed into my modest shorts and a hot pink t shirt.  The deceased loved pink and they were asking people to wear pink to the funeral but I didn't have anything dressy in pink. I feel OK with what I wore at any rate and I did not stick out which was my goal.  But I did wear pink out of respect today.  

One associate at the funeral saw the body and began carrying on screaming, sobbing, and crying.  There was a man with a camera taking pictures. People were taking video on their cell phones.  That all made me pretty uncomfortable. 

I am a Presbyterian.  We are nicknamed "the frozen chosen" for our worship style which is very stiff and formal.  We stand and sing unmoving, then sit again. Other groups, Calvary Chapels, etc. will sway,hold arms in the air, clap, etc. but growing up we did none of that.  I am sure I will lose my inhibitions in Heaven though.  But on earth I am a frozen chosen.  I will walk up to a complete stranger and give them a Bible, make an ass out of myself (I do) standing on a corner with the Free Bibles sign, but I can't clap during a song or raise my hands in the air.  

Anyway once I got changed I went out again to the store that has the "good" deals on candy, and that's basically all I bought.  I also got some granola bars for other associates at work.  I have a "Candy Lady" reputation at work too.  

I guess because I am not getting quality time my love language is more giving gifts now. That is fine.  Beau I would bet one of the cats is physical touch.  The rate times we are alone he is always touching my shoulder and standing close.  I may need to remind him about the camera.  Not that I mind AT ALL but again I don't want him getting in trouble.  

I hope he is having a good day at work today.  

I also bought some cleaning supplies, I will clean the house today and make some chicken and veggie soup. It will be a veggie soup in a chicken stock base.  

But first I am going to take a nap.  It was a taxing morning to say the least.