Ok let me first tell you about "Rita" older lady. Very poor sense of boundaries if I am eating she will offer me food and won't hear a no. She swore she would give me a ride home one day, bailed on me, I had to call a cab. Then got an attitude with me for "leaving" because she was "only" 45 minutes late and I "had to understand". Red flags, much?
I mean, yike. So I avoid her if I can, nicely, but I can't control who sits next to me at lunch. She said today she had a "great money making opportunity" for me which of course sent my mind screaming NO. Then at lunch (she didn't see me) she was telling someone else she lives with her sister in law who is throwing her out. She knows I have an extra bedroom.
NO NO NO. I will make that VERY clear. I believe I will state the truth, and people can tell when I'm doing that, I like to walk around naked, for instance. I value my privacy more than a couple hundred bucks.
So Amy. Many years ago I worked at Target. I had a lot of issues. Living with Ron firmly under his thumb. He used to say things like "Don't make a female friend I will have sex with her" etc. Anyway Amy kind of latched on to me at work I suppose because I was (at the start) kind to her. She came over once or twice and Ron gave me "permission" to have her as a friend and swore he wouldn't do anything.
Until the night he got her very drunk and she was crying about her ex boyfriend. She called her current man and told him (with my permission) she was going to sleep on my couch as she was no good to drive. Ron said he would talk to her. We all know how that ended. She told her boyfriend, he threw her out. Ron "felt responsible" but he really just wanted a harem so he moved her in. His exact words were "I'm moving her in if you don't like it you can move out". We had been together barely 2 years. They would get drunk every night and have sex as I fumed/cried in the bedroom.
She told everyone at work about this arrangement, fueling my humiliation. Ron finally got tired of her and threw her out. I wasn't very nice to her either.
So I am VERY, VERY, leery of women I barely know at work wanting to move in. Rita works full time, she can afford to rent a room or a studio apartment. All the other employees at work live on their own. Some even own houses. I don't owe her anything.
I am glad she has never given me a ride home. She'd really want to move in if she saw the neighborhood.
And my guy came and has everything looking tip top so even my house looks nice.
8 comments:
You don't owe anyone an explanation for why they can't move into your house. Please don't tell her you like to walk around naked. The answer is simply "I do not rent space in my home or allow temporary borders." Period. End of discussion.
This type of situation will continue to be a problem for you as long as you overshare personal information. No one you work with needs to know that you have a spare bedroom, or that you own your own house, or that your neighborhood is nice. They are not your friends. They. Are. Not. Your. Friends. They are coworkers you have no other relationship with outside of work. And they gossip. And you know nothing about their real lives and who they associate with. A free ride home is not worth compromising your privacy and security. Take the bus, pay for a ride from a Jack, or take Uber and don't tell the Uber driver your business.
So glad you are not the same person you were with Ron and wont be letting anyone move in. Ever. The nerve of that woman.
As for Amy. Wow. Ron was a disgusting pig the whole time you were with him. You should have let him rot in the nursing home after the accident instead of marrying him.
"This type of situation will continue to be a problem for you as long as you overshare personal information. No one you work with needs to know that you have a spare bedroom, or that you own your own house, or that your neighborhood is nice. They are not your friends. They. Are. Not. Your. Friends. They are coworkers you have no other relationship with outside of work. And they gossip."
This really is the best comment and the gods honest truth. Discretion is key and I agree tell the moocher NO you don't rent our rooms in your house and that's it case freaking closed. You need to learn how to set boundaries with your information you share and with people in general. No is a complete sentence.
And stop over tipping the Uber driver and Jack and the cab drivers too.
Anything else she needs to do?
When I treat my 42 year old daughter like a child (and yes I have done that) she acts like one.
I'm sorry your daughter is immature, but we are talking to Heather about her situation. She is a single woman who lives alone with no family nearby and a diagnosis that makes it difficult for her to understand some interactions and situations. All of the first five comments seem like logical advice to me.
To address one comment, I may "overtip" but my drivers come when I need them.
Post a Comment