Saturday, April 15, 2023

I know my place

 I thought I would clarify a little.  

I am going to have to give her a name so I will call her Juana, shorter than me, thinner (ideal weight), Black/Latina mix with "black" (ethnic and color) hair, exotic looking.  She is about 20.  She is very sweet.  We haven't talked much, because, like Beau, English is very much her second language.  

Beau goes out of his way to talk to her, stopped by her work area on the way home one day (I was getting off at the same time and saw them talking).  On one occasion Juana and I were at separate tables in the breakroom when he came in and he sat with her.  When I went back for lunch on Friday he was sitting with her, waved and said Hi to me, stayed at her table until she went back to work.  Even then he just chatted at me from the other table. 

So, I get it. She's the primary interest I feel, based on what I have observed.  I think he likes me, seems to be attracted (I don't see how in that ghastly vest with all the crap in my pockets adding 50 pounds), but if he's going to settle down it's with her. 

They do not seem to be dating or anywhere near exclusive so I will continue talking to him with clear expectations, on my part, I am"practicing" for when I meet MY guy. Because he's not it. 

It's a shame. It has been a VERY long time I have found a man attractive sexually. There, I said it. But it has been so this has been an adjustment for me. But I don't feel like I'm poaching.  I don't feel like I have any claim on him either.  

I mean, just the bipolar alone is going to send 99% of men running. I get that. 

I know my place. 

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are infatuated with Beau but clearly he has this chica on his mind. Can you blame him? She sounds pretty and young. What man wouldn't be interested? Enjoy your flirtations with Beau but don't read too much into it. His body language says he likes talking to you but he's not into you the way you want him to be. If he liked you like that he would be sitting with you every chance he got and he would have asked you out on a date.

Heather Knits said...

Yeah, she's a nice, sweet girl, hard worker, and certainly young and healthy enough to give him a houseful of children (which I assume all Latino men want). If he wants something serious she's the one. I like her and I wish them well if they do hook up.

If he wants a casual flirtation without sex I guess I am the one for that. And I do provide candy.

Anonymous said...

Everything is not always as it seems.
I'm still wrapping my head around a 42 year old man I know with a 23 year old girlfriend.

Heather Knits said...

Ron was 37 and I was 17 when we met. I don't see an age gap as unusual.

Heather Knits said...

I will say the younger person should be age 21 or older. Unless they are both young, that could work.