Monday

 I felt kind of stalkerish when I figured out when Beau takes his lunch and last break.  I was in the breakroom for both (after all I did need my own break and lunch).  He was startled to see me on the last break and came over, sat with me, we talked a little.  

Somehow alcohol came up and I said my husband was a "big barracho" (drunk).  He asked me in English and I said yes, he drank a lot.  I had meant to add he was mean with it but did not feel led to do so.  Beau hastened to explain he drinks very little, basically one shot in half a can of soda once in a while after work.  Did not put up my hackles.  

But he IS very friendly with ALL single women so I am just going to put him in the friend zone for now and take it from there.  I don't want to embarrass myself.  I am working on my pride issues but boy I have a lot and I would hate to make an ass out of myself and the laughingstock of the whole store.  

I do think it is probably unrealistic to find a complete non drinker. And if I found Beau attractive I am sure, if God wants me to remarry, He can send me a man I will also find attractive.  

But, oh, he looked so good in his reading glasses... 

Now, work was fine.  I hated so much coming home to an empty, dark, house after Ron died.  So I bought some "magic" light bulbs (I think the manufacturer called them "dusk to dawn").  They have a light sensor, come on when it's dark, turn off when the sun comes up.  So I come home to a cheerfully lit house.  

I wanted Jack to have that (no romantic feelings but I do feel protective) so I bought him a couple on Friday, but they don't fit his fixture so he gave them back so I can get my refund.  I did that today.  Then I found some AWESOME "Cat Lady" tote bags by the self check at $2 a bag. I got those.  

Work was pretty quiet.  I had arranged my lunch so I might see him, and I did.  When I walked in on my lunch he was sitting at a table talking to a woman about my age, so I sat at another table and ate.  He watched me eat which made me self conscious because I know of NO sexy way to eat soup, salad,and sandwich.  He made a comment "Was it good?" about the soup when I finished and I explained I had made it from scratch. Then I saw him around 2 he came by to chat for a few minutes. But 2 other female associates were present so he didn't say much or stay long.  The Muslim lady in the hijab kept scowling at him. 

We did see each other on our last break (we work different departments) and did talk a little mainly about the homeless people at the bus stop.  I told him I had a stun gun and he said they keep bothering him because he likes his window down; when he's stopped at the light they bother him. I told him not to give them anything because then they will never leave him alone...and we had to go back to work. 

Sometimes I see him leaving the store but I did not today.  Some excitement on the bus, I was glad I have the stun gun but I didn't need it.  But really stupid of the woman to get on a bus full of black people going through a black neighborhood, black driver, and start dropping n-bombs. She is lucky she still has her teeth. I thought the black people were very classy but that woman was beyond rude. 

And here I am, also white, and I'm handing out candy.  When I got off I told the driver "If I'd known you were having this kind of night I'd have brought you a bacon cheeseburger and a chocolate bar".  She laughed. 

And I need to go to bed if I'm getting any kind of sleep tonight. 

Edit to add: Beau does wear a cross.  That is promising, not a crucifix either...just a regular "Protestant" style cross.