Can't sleep

 I had a nice cuddle with the boys though.  

Talked to my aunt. She thinks my foot/shoe problems are me retaining water.  I couldn't come up with a delicate way to say I retain water in my breasts premenstrual not my feet. And the breasts are fine.  If I have any cycles left in me it won't be many, I think.  

Dad is still shocked I am not in complete menopause (I mention having hot flashes on occasion). 

I think I am still having issues since the funeral and then I see Beau today.  I have asked God for an obvious sign if he is interested just so I can stop wondering.   As I've said I don't want to make an ass out of myself.  

It was probably already too much I told him Ron was a borracho the other day.  But I wanted to see how he'd react and he just said he is a very moderate drinker. That was good to hear and interesting as he didn't have to reply at all. 

But if Beau isn't it I am not worried.  When I am ready to date there are good guys out there; yesterday I met 2 of them. The first guy was in pets, I was passing, he said "I guess I'm a cat man now!" so of course I had to look.  He had 40# of dry food, several cases of wet food, etc.  I walked over and he asked me what was a good cat food. I picked up a can of store brand "Mixed Grill" and told him I had really good luck "taming" a half wild cat with it. He took a case and added it to the stash. I wished him good luck and he left. 

The second man found me coming back from break, passing through lingerie on the main aisle. He approached me and asked why all the models in our signage (at floor level) had their eyes scratched out as he found it disturbing.  I agreed with him and we talked a little about how society has fallen. Another man asked for help and the first man followed me over there and continued the discussion when I was done.  I got a pretty strong hit he was saved just in the way he was talking. 

So there are good guys and ones who will respect me. I need to remember that and keep blogging as I process the last 31 years. 

I was in therapy for a few years as a teen.  My parents recently revealed the therapist told them I would never be able to live on my own.  So they pulled me. 

I am going to say it; I thought it would rain today but nothing yet. I think I will look up the local weather. 

(From Channel 13) "that means we’ll get wave after wave of rain through Friday evening. Four-day rain totals range from 4″-8″ with flooding possible."

And that, kids, is why I'm paying for rides.  

That's it for now.   

Edit: doing laundry. Oh, I looked up the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" only to find the author had recanted.  So much for that.