Coming to terms with losing my husband and sharing my faith. "A Bible that's falling apart belongs to someone who isn't"
Saturday, December 14, 2019
I see this every day
A fresh
empty bottle. That is how I know he's drinking a fifth a day. I see it, and I have to take the bottle out because he's too crippled to do it himself.
9 comments:
Anonymous
said...
That's bullshit that he is too crippled to take an empty bottle out of the sink but not too crippled to actually lift a full bottle to his mouth to take a drink. No he is too lazy to toss the bottle in the trash. If he was too crippled to do that then there is no way on this earth that he is physically able to wipe his own behind either. He leaves the bottle in the sink on purpose.
So he is drinking one 750 ML bottle of vodka per day. On average the cost of a bottle of vodka that size is about 11.97 plus 8.25% Houston sales tax so let's say that one bottle costs him $13.00.
With this break down he is spending $390.00 a month on vodka. And this does not include the cost of the cab driver to go to the liquor store and get the vodka and bring it to him. So let's rough estimate the cost of cabs and tips to be about another $100 a month (and this is being generous because it is probably more).
So he is spending $490.00 a month on vodka. Which amounts to $5880 a year. And over the span of 10 years that comes out to $58,880.
All money that could have been used to pay off your mortgage. Money that could have been put into savings.
What a waste and a shame that you refuse to force him to stop. He is too crippled to do anything about it should you cut off his drinking habit.
Maybe you should show him how much his addiction is costing every month. I am sure he won't care but do you care?
He doesn't like to put recycles in the trash can. I don't have a problem taking it out to recycle (get some good out of it).
I meant, I guess I wasn't clear about it, he is unable to take the bottle outside to the recycle can anymore. He used to throw away all the trash, not just drinking debris, but has been unable to do that for about 4 years now. He still feels trash is "his" job but it really is physically impossible for him to get out and do it.
He seems to be embarrassed by the bottles and frequently begs me to "do it" if I haven't taken it out already.
Before I got my meds right I wasted a lot of money so I can't really throw rocks at that. But it is a waste. Some people spend $10 a day on coffee.
I hate to think how much my (diet) soda usage would add up.
"Before I got my meds right I wasted a lot of money so I can't really throw rocks at that. But it is a waste. Some people spend $10 a day on coffee. I hate to think how much my (diet) soda usage would add up."
How many years ago was that for you? It really pisses me off that you are so flippant with the response about how much money you are letting him waste on alcohol. I hope that your justification for it consoles you when you have to give away most of your cats so you can live in an apartment. You are the one who feigns poverty and a shortage of money so I was pointing out where ALOT of it is going.
We have always had a policy since 1992, what I made was my money (after I paid my share of the bills) and his money was his. I can't really change it now as he is paying his portion of the bills.
My worst was probably the time I bought a $100 spindle, used it for a few weeks, and then gave it away years later.
To repeat myself: we have never "let" or "denied" the other one spending money. That was never in our relationship as long as our share of the bills was taken care of.
"what I made was my money (after I paid my share of the bills) and his money was his."
AGAIN you are missing the point. You work for him and make 1200 a month. He makes at least double that and you do ALL the work. Plus ALL his caregiving and work around the house. You could get another job and make at least twice as much money BUT you don't because he needs you to work for him. SO it is not right that he should be allowed to blow $500 a month on vodka and there is no allocation for any money to be put into savings, etc.
So his making you pay ALL the cats expenses, etc is not a fair division of monetary resources. Now if you both made the same amount of money it would be a different story. But we both know he will never do that.
Why is this so difficult for you to grasp? Are you just being thick headed on purpose about the money? What is wrong with having a budget that includes a mandatory requirement for money to be put into savings (on both of your parts)?
$500 a month is not spending money it is for many people a monthly rent payment or close to it depending on where you live. You have NO savings right now. He TOOK money from the savings and NEVER paid it back. It is wrong and immoral that he refuses to at least put the money back in savings that he took and also that he refuses to make provisions for you when he passes away or has to go into a home. That is not love. You are just an unpaid and unappreciated care giver for this man.
The $500 per month he is spending on vodka could pay for health insurance for you. He is letting you go without health insurance. That is ridiculous. You are one accident or illness away from financial ruin.
I understand that you and Ron have a longstanding agreement about money. I respect that. My husband and I have a similar arrangement. We have access to each other's accounts and are both very conservative spenders. We are both honorable in our spending and we both value our financial future. That's why it works. It is no longer working for you and Ron.
Ron is not concerned with your financial present or future. He is irresponsible and deteriorating. He is selfish and manipulative. I strongly encourage you to seek professional help in planning for your financial future. You have too much to lose by continuing to wait and see what happens next. He isn't going to change. You need to change.
Based on Heather's income a high deductible plan would be free or about $15.00 per month. That would at least give her insurance against anything major with a 8,000 deductible and visits to the doctor, etc would be cheaper with insurance.
9 comments:
That's bullshit that he is too crippled to take an empty bottle out of the sink but not too crippled to actually lift a full bottle to his mouth to take a drink. No he is too lazy to toss the bottle in the trash. If he was too crippled to do that then there is no way on this earth that he is physically able to wipe his own behind either. He leaves the bottle in the sink on purpose.
So he is drinking one 750 ML bottle of vodka per day. On average the cost of a bottle of vodka that size is about 11.97 plus 8.25% Houston sales tax so let's say that one bottle costs him $13.00.
With this break down he is spending $390.00 a month on vodka. And this does not include the cost of the cab driver to go to the liquor store and get the vodka and bring it to him. So let's rough estimate the cost of cabs and tips to be about another $100 a month (and this is being generous because it is probably more).
So he is spending $490.00 a month on vodka. Which amounts to $5880 a year. And over the span of 10 years that comes out to $58,880.
All money that could have been used to pay off your mortgage. Money that could have been put into savings.
What a waste and a shame that you refuse to force him to stop. He is too crippled to do anything about it should you cut off his drinking habit.
Maybe you should show him how much his addiction is costing every month. I am sure he won't care but do you care?
He doesn't like to put recycles in the trash can. I don't have a problem taking it out to recycle (get some good out of it).
I meant, I guess I wasn't clear about it, he is unable to take the bottle outside to the recycle can anymore. He used to throw away all the trash, not just drinking debris, but has been unable to do that for about 4 years now. He still feels trash is "his" job but it really is physically impossible for him to get out and do it.
He seems to be embarrassed by the bottles and frequently begs me to "do it" if I haven't taken it out already.
Before I got my meds right I wasted a lot of money so I can't really throw rocks at that. But it is a waste. Some people spend $10 a day on coffee.
I hate to think how much my (diet) soda usage would add up.
"Before I got my meds right I wasted a lot of money so I can't really throw rocks at that. But it is a waste. Some people spend $10 a day on coffee. I hate to think how much my (diet) soda usage would add up."
How many years ago was that for you? It really pisses me off that you are so flippant with the response about how much money you are letting him waste on alcohol. I hope that your justification for it consoles you when you have to give away most of your cats so you can live in an apartment. You are the one who feigns poverty and a shortage of money so I was pointing out where ALOT of it is going.
We have always had a policy since 1992, what I made was my money (after I paid my share of the bills) and his money was his. I can't really change it now as he is paying his portion of the bills.
My worst was probably the time I bought a $100 spindle, used it for a few weeks, and then gave it away years later.
To repeat myself: we have never "let" or "denied" the other one spending money. That was never in our relationship as long as our share of the bills was taken care of.
"what I made was my money (after I paid my share of the bills) and his money was his."
AGAIN you are missing the point. You work for him and make 1200 a month. He makes at least double that and you do ALL the work. Plus ALL his caregiving and work around the house. You could get another job and make at least twice as much money BUT you don't because he needs you to work for him. SO it is not right that he should be allowed to blow $500 a month on vodka and there is no allocation for any money to be put into savings, etc.
So his making you pay ALL the cats expenses, etc is not a fair division of monetary resources. Now if you both made the same amount of money it would be a different story. But we both know he will never do that.
Why is this so difficult for you to grasp? Are you just being thick headed on purpose about the money? What is wrong with having a budget that includes a mandatory requirement for money to be put into savings (on both of your parts)?
$500 a month is not spending money it is for many people a monthly rent payment or close to it depending on where you live. You have NO savings right now. He TOOK money from the savings and NEVER paid it back. It is wrong and immoral that he refuses to at least put the money back in savings that he took and also that he refuses to make provisions for you when he passes away or has to go into a home. That is not love. You are just an unpaid and unappreciated care giver for this man.
I am just thick today - but I get it.
I will start asking him to put money in savings every time he does a liquor run. He is generally pretty flush at that point.
The $500 per month he is spending on vodka could pay for health insurance for you. He is letting you go without health insurance. That is ridiculous. You are one accident or illness away from financial ruin.
I understand that you and Ron have a longstanding agreement about money. I respect that. My husband and I have a similar arrangement. We have access to each other's accounts and are both very conservative spenders. We are both honorable in our spending and we both value our financial future. That's why it works. It is no longer working for you and Ron.
Ron is not concerned with your financial present or future. He is irresponsible and deteriorating. He is selfish and manipulative. I strongly encourage you to seek professional help in planning for your financial future. You have too much to lose by continuing to wait and see what happens next. He isn't going to change. You need to change.
Based on Heather's income a high deductible plan would be free or about $15.00 per month. That would at least give her insurance against anything major with a 8,000 deductible and visits to the doctor, etc would be cheaper with insurance.
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