Tuesday afternoon

Now the negative Nellies will have something else to bitch about. 

Most days I like to think I am doing pretty well on my spiritual path and living in a way that pleases Jesus.  "What sort of boundaries" I ask myself "Would Jesus set for Ron?" and I try to do them.  I try to respect myself and Ron, even when he isn't acting right. 

For instance, today he asked me to help with his cable box.  But the cable box is nowhere to be found.  I have no idea what he did with it.  "You drank too much" I told Ron. 

"Obviously" he replied "I needed it".  I hate to think how much a new cable box will cost.  He just destroys everything you give him, valuable and cheap, he gets drunk and wrecks it.  It has gotten to the point I don't waste my money any more. 

We had an argument and I walked out, went out and cleaned the garage some more.  I put out some "good" stuff so hoping the hoarders come along and take it before the trash does.  I did find my old Ham radio license which I kept, and some measuring cups for cat food.  I have got about 75% of what I want to do, in the garage. 

So basically have ruthlessly gone through everything left in my house and purged most of it.   Definitely doing this when my stuff comes back.  It will be a long day but worth it.  Then I don't have to be leery of social workers or paid helpers coming in. 

Working on that, going well.  Took a break and ordered lunch.  It was good.  Ron tells me he needs to see the dentist, a back molar is in pain. 

I get so angry when he bitches about his teeth because he does nothing to care for them.  I mean nothing at all, no brushing, no mouthwash, nothing.  And I ordered new toothpaste and a brush when the movers took mine a few days ago. 

So he doesn't care for his teeth, abuses his health, eats no calcium or minerals, drinks, which depletes your bones, and his teeth hurt.  I bet they do. 

So he is all panicked and calls the dentist, talks about the credit card.  We have major home repairs.  We cannot afford a root canal.  My thinking: if he wants to abuse his teeth then fine, just pull them when they go and be done with it.  It is a lot cheaper.  But no, he wants to spend $1,500 a piece on each tooth as they go out on him.  It is a waste of money. 

I will say it again: I have no issue with dental bills if he is making an effort to take care of his teeth.  It is the severe and profound neglect and then complaining about his teeth.  You put yourself in this situation, we simply don't have that kind of money. 

I was OK spending the money on my root canal because I have fewer teeth than Ron, I take care of my teeth, and take mineral supplements as well. 

I had to walk out and take a break because I was so upset.  My air filters came and I went ahead and installed them.  They look to be a very nice quality. I am glad I got them, I see it as investing in everyone's health (including the cats).  Ron was happy to hear I did that. 

I took a break and watched some TV, went back in his room and he is on a chat line.  I was so disgusted.  "I just want to hear women say they want it".  [rolleyes]  I will say this, his mother did a number on him re: sexuality - he is just obsessed with hearing women admit they have dirty thoughts and deeds.  Get over it already. 

This is new times, not 1952.  I recently saw a music video where a guy was clearly depicted getting oral sex and it was not rated for adults at all.  But he still frequents the lines.  "She said she was married and wanted it up the.."  never mind. 

You get the idea.  It is like events are conspiring to make me furious at Ron today.  I am choosing not to be upset because I have too much on my plate already.  I got rid of a ton of trash today and did a great job cleaning out the garage. 

I am glad my aunt is having fun.  I find it very heartwarming her sons want to spend time together even grown, their kids are close as well (the cousins).  She will be back in a few days.  I need to do a load of clothes, I found my shout gel so I can treat the stains and some detergent packs.  I need my Tide, the stuff she had did OK on my first load but this is a more rugged load to wash.  I am tired but hanging in there, I will be glad when this is all done. 

I am pretty sure I am going to take a nap pretty soon. 

I have checked the trap repeatedly but no one has taken the bait.