I must be a good faker, at the end of my weekly phone call they commented on how I sounded positive and upbeat.
I just spent a whole paycheck on Spotty. WORTH IT but still...
Have to change everything I feed the cats now...
Ron is not doing well, to say the least.
Ron probably has wet brain which is just a whole nightmare for me.
Constantly policing Biscuit to stay out of the wet food.
HORRIBLE sales at work..
Battling depression, didn't even go outside all day.
And I sound great? I must be REALLY good at fronting. Am I going to be the person "Everyone thought she was fine?" Until they find the blog?
I don't know. It was upsetting, I felt, but I just said something about the joy of the Lord.
Maybe they just see what they want to see, I don't know. One reason, hate to say, I find the calls taxing at times.
I at least feel physically able to work tomorrow. I wasn't looking forward to that. And I did the bedding today (mine, Ron was a bed bug today), the boxes are clean, etc. I have a nice little candle burning, I have had it a while so no real fragrance but still a nice flame. I get to sleep in tomorrow. Until 7, which I'll take. Normally I have to get up at 5 on inventory supply run days.
I strive to focus on the positive but it can be hard at times.
8 comments:
I think you're right...they just see what they want to see. They really don't want to know--if they did they could just read your blog (or pay attention when you tell them about your life). I do commend you for trying to maintain a relationship with them.
Even though it must be a pain to police the cat food, it is good to hear that Spotty has his appetite back. It sounds like he is happy to be home.
I thought you were going to start calling your parents on Sunday? Or did they not allow that?
It was apparently a one time deal, when I went to hang up last week they said "Talk to you Saturday". It actually worked this week because today is my big supply run. But most weeks it doesn't.
I told her once if she wanted the real story to read my blog, she got the address, read a few posts "too awful" and stopped. And that was before I really talked about her.
I learned pretty early on they only want to hear good news, like "Ron got hit by a truck but he's doing great in the hospital". Or "I was suicidal most of the week but I think I can handle tomorrow now". Sarcasm there. They just get very uncomfortable if I discuss real things. So I don't. I mainly talked about the cats because I knew they didn't want to hear about the rest.
Parents only want to hear good things, that's normal. After raising a kid to adult age you want to be able to enjoy your empty nest. You want to hear your child is successful.
I'm a parent, my 39 year old daughter and my 2 grandchildren are living with us. I can't wait for her to get her life together.
I bet they forgot and said Saturday out of habit, or they are being passive aggressive. You asked to move it to Sunday so I would only call them on Sunday.
I totally empathize and wish I had something cheerful and upbeat to tell you or encourage you with but I have tanked myself this weekend and I am sorry . That hardest part when you leave someone who has consumed your entire life? Figuring out what to do with days like i am having today.
Still easier than dealing with them that is for sure. huge hugs I know what you are feeling and I am sorry.
So next week call them on Sunday and when they say something about it reiterate again the conversation about them agreeing to talk on Sundays instead of Saturdays. If you allow people to run over you they will continue to run over you. I really find it hard to believe that they consider themselves christian and actually mentor people with problems.
They are apparently VERY well respected which is one reason I had so much trouble when I would mention abuse issues, growing up. My favorite was "their" food, she and the kids had their own food I was not allowed to touch. I had access to peanut butter, milk, American cheese slices, white bread which I loathe, plain pasta, and iceberg lettuce. I was not "allowed" to eat pretty much anything else in the kitchen. So I drank a LOT of milk and got big and strong in spite of them. :p
Now I understand eating out "These are my leftovers, please don't touch them" but to have whole SHELVES of food that one child is not allowed to touch...I could only see that if I were celiac or something.
Oh, and sometimes she would get bologna, which I was allowed to eat. I used to fix (before he became my) primary abuser grilled cheese and bologna sandwiches when the parents would be out running errands. Then he got vicious and turned on me..
Post a Comment