Saturday, March 7, 2020

So I went to the liquor store

I got up, took my shower... forgot to mention last night I put up my new shower curtain, love it, nice and simple.  Only $10 with a liner at that. 

Nice shower, got dressed, checked the mail.  Electric bill!  Looks like I am going to Walmart first.  Ron was asleep so I just took a tote bag and went. 

Not a long line at the bill pay center at Walmart.  I should say now Ron WAS able to pay the bill over the phone but transposed the numbers years ago and had it decline, so the company says he has to pay in person now.  Generally not a big deal but the damned bill always comes right after I have gone to Walmart. 

So, I went, it was quiet.  I got a couple of donuts and a drink, waited on my Uber, went to the liquor store. 

I was looking for some sort of whiskey, cherry brandy, and spiced rum for me to sample, Ron would drink it if he got desperate.  I was also looking for at least 3 big bottles of vodka.  And whatever else they had that I could get for my $100. 

I found some vodka on sale, $8 each for the big bottles, AND plastic and had a hand grip which Ron has said is important for him.  He prefers the bottle like that to be honest. 

He does not like the strawberry vodka is in a glass bottle. 

I found a big thing of vanilla run for $15. 
I found whiskey a liter for about $10
Cherry brandy for me was a little spendy at about $12 for a liter.  I wanted a flask to be honest but it was all they had.  Cherry brandy is not such a big seller - Ron calls it cough syrup - so I got it. 
Found a nice bottle of spiced rum. 
I found an aisle with tiny little bottles in many different flavors.  They must have a huge shoplifting problem. 

Now, note, I did find the Kahlua and the Fireball were sold out.  Most of the bottles, the ones I wanted, were $1 each so I took my time. 

They had a clear bag you could use to carry your selections of the tiny bottles.  I got a gin because I have never had gin and am curious.  A couple spiced rum, I figured Ron would like them.  An irish cream because I know he likes that.  Some flavored vodkas.  Coconut rum (the only time I have seen Ron says he didn't like an alcohol), praline flavored whiskey (he loved that).  I got a few for myself I like the very small size and cheap price. 

I went to check out, I was right under my limit.  I called a Uber and one came pretty quick, I went home.  Ron was happy to see me I had not said goodbye when I left. 

He has said in strong terms to never wake him up unless there is an emergency so I don't.  I didn't even wake him up when Biscuit got blocked last year, I just took the cat to the vet and told him when I got home. 

He was shocked I had gone to Specs and that I had bought him alcohol.  I told him this was a one time deal.  He tried the coconut rum, he drank it but he didn't like it.  He did like the pecan praline whiskey.  I had a pretty bad headache so I tried to lie down for a while, that didn't work too well. 

I will let Ron have the little bottles for now - I thought if nothing else it would give him some options of other things he might like to buy rather than the same old.  He can't order if he doesn't know it exists.  Also some of the ones I got him are a lot cheaper. 

I may or may not leave what I got for myself but it is there.  It is all being kept away from him and I will not be telling him where unless I get very ill. 

I explained DT again and he seemed to get it, and thanked me for wanting to prevent it.  He had a sip of the $8 vodka and said it was better than the McCormick, which I had threatened to get him.  Now he has something if the supply dries up. 

Because let's be honest say it goes bad and there are a limited number of trucks on the road.  They are going to be moving baby formula, meat and vegetables, diapers, and toilet paper... alcohol is going to be low on the list.

I was really surprised I thought people would be (like me) buying up the liquor store (my clerk joked he should get a commission).  But aside from a run on some of the small bottles and a high popularity on the Fireball it seemed like any other day. 

Now, could be Ron is just fine through all this.  Great.  This will not go bad and it can store easily anywhere.  I am just preparing it could go bad. 

He is still on his own as long as he can get it, IF it suddenly dries up then I will break out the reserves.  And I am going to ration.  Half a liter a day for a week, then 1/4.  By that point I think he ought to be OK to quit. 

At least that base is covered, and, as I told Ron, I think legally it would be worse for me if I knew he could have DT/withdrawal and I didn't plan for it, knowing this was coming, and this has been a pretty slow moving wreck. 

He is moaning in the other room says he is cold.  I put the blanket on him (electric) and turned up the heat that is all I can do.  I did find some "other" branded cinnamon whiskey, magma something... I could always give him that little bottle. 

That's it for now. 

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

You really are ridiculous. Now you are buying and giving him alcohol to sample. Please go to the doctor something is very wrong with you. Keeping reserves a secret is one thing but buying other types of vodka and having him sample it is just insane. You are clearly insane and not right in the head.

Anonymous said...

What in the actual F !?!?? And you BOUGHT SOME FOR YOURSELF?

Heather Knits said...

I was there anyway, most of the samples are only available in the one ounce size.

I am not going to drink what I got, at least for now. But if things get really bad it is there. And that applies to hurricane season as well.

Anonymous said...

So blind you cannot even see your free fall happening right in your own blog.

Anonymous said...

You have learned nothing from any of your life experiences with alcohol. That is the saddest thing.

You seem really giddy about having done this today which is alarming. I’m with the other poster. You need help. But you won’t and will cite “the outbreak” as your excuse for not doing what you need to for the foreseeable future.

Heather Knits said...

So I should watch him with DT's?

To the "free fall" and "losing it" comments I will refer you back to the MANY events going on and the fact that I have not had a good night's sleep since December 20. Had my lithium reduced, etc. Ron is much worse physically.

Yesterday found me yelling "Don't shit on me" as he begged me to pull down his underwear in the bathroom. Not our best moment. But he could stand up or pull them down, but not both. Only one good arm. So I had to do it. And it was an urgent situation with some risk of me literally being crapped on.

Try living with that, having your lithium cut, no sleep at night, terrible sales, home gutted, and we will see how you are doing.

Anonymous said...

So you admit you are not yourself. Please go get help. Talk to someone. Talk to whoever prescribes your meds before things get worse. Ron needs to be seen by a doctor. Obviously his incontinence is not fetting better or resolving on its own. Fyi reducing the alcohol can also cause DTs so you are preventing nothing and have now given ron a green light to keep drinking.

As for the sleeping. You need to call Monday to make arrangements to have your stuff brought back. Since the repairs will be complete Tuesday. Not sure why you don't just sleep on your loveseat and give the cot to the cats.

Anonymous said...

Then get your lithium fixed. Call your doctor! If he is as good as you claim he will fix you up.

none of this necessitates stockpiling alcohol AND not buying any of it for yourself. You have brain damage from the stuff! You wasted $100. Could have spent it on extra food.

Call his doctor. A doctor. Figure out how to wean him off alcohol safely. A medical professional needs to tell you how or help you not google or any of us. That would be the safe thing to do in this situation. What if you ended up housebound for longer than 2 weeks? There is no telling what’s going to happen or how long people might have to be stuck inside for if things get bad.

Anonymous said...

Is he drinking a lot of apple juice? That can cause diarrhea.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I'm reading this. Maybe it is all getting to you, I know in your mind you think this is right. It is not! We all can see you're losing it, you're being irrational and not thinking straight. I know you don't believe us and will not listen to what we're saying. I wish I could be angry with you about this, but all I feel is concern.

Anonymous said...

You really should call your Psychiatrist and get an urgent appointment (in person or over the phone) to discuss what is going on. You wrote the other day that you added daily kratom to your pill box. You are smoking hemp, taking kratom and buying bottles of alcohol for yourself.

You can't handle all of this by yourself. You need help. Ron needs help.

Anonymous said...

I can not believe you went to the store and bought alcohol for yourself and Ron. I am so sad Heather . Maybe one emergency bottle for his DTs makes sense but this is exactly what I thought you would NEVER do. This is so wrong I can not read anymore right now I am sorry. Take good care of yourself.

Sincerely sad friend said...

I am too late to even comment. My opinion is insignificant anyway. I would have said “please stand your ground and do not buy him alcohol and if shit hits the fan take him to the ER .”

I really admired your stand against alcohol and find this every unlike you. You know how back drinking is with your mental illness and meds and you are enabling Ron.. Stashing one bottle for a quick taper is one thing a bunch to keep him drink and happy is wrong.

I am so sorry you did this . Hoe you see the reality dump it all and for get this ever happened

Anonymous said...

Heather, I support you and always have. The point those of us that do are making is you don’t need al that. You are choosing not to get help for Ron for dumb reasons like not giving your social out. He needs to go in a home.

Heather Knits said...

It seems like, as someone said, any juice in excess causes the runs.

The plan is to use what I got for a taper on Ron, not unlimited all you can drink. Yesterday I had a very small sip of spiced rum. I did not die. I did not want more, either. I felt it could have been more spicy. I am going to be very careful with both of us I just don't want to deal with him in DT's during a pandemic. On top of everything else I have.

Remember i don't even have a bed, and haven't for months. I am trying to mitigate not worsen.

Heather Knits said...

I don't have a loveseat. Did you see the video? They took all my furniture. About the only thing they left were the cat trees. Ron only has a twin and he needs it.

The squirts have improved dramatically with a reduction in juice. He seems to be OK with about 5 ounces at a time.

I actually have a decent amount of food, even cat food, including Biscuit's formula, more if I do get all my stuff back quickly.

When he runs low he cuts back on his usage and he is OK, sometimes for days. I would just continue that. I suspect para transit and Uber are going to cut back before it gets to full blown apocalypse mode. I am just trying to plan for no transportation for some period of time.

We could also be quarantined. We have been around plenty of sick people lately, especially drivers. So I am factoring for that.

Anonymous said...

Are you going to call your doctor?

None of this is an excuse or reason for a person who has FAS and an alcoholic (and abusive) husband to drink, even a sip of spiced rum. You take serious meds and shouldn’t even consider consuming liquor on top of that. I understand the strain you have been under since December. But alcohol isn’t the answer and not calling your doc for help isn’t either.

Heather Knits said...

I am still functional, taking care of everything... if I were dropping the ball, not bathing, slacking the business, spending all my money, I could see it. Instead I hauled 19 cases of flooring in the house so it could acclimate. Did up my pills for 2 weeks.

Helped Ron with pain management this morning (kratom, and magnets). Took care of the cats, fed them, did their water and the box. Will brush Baby Girl when I can catch her... about to take a shower... just not, to me, the actions of someone on the cliff edge.

Now if I start posting utter gibberish or 50 posts a day I would worry...my parents were not worried either and my Dad kept saying cheerleader "you got this!" as I laid out my plants for reorganizing when my stuff comes back.

Anonymous said...

Since you dad likes to bury his head in the sand about bad things he is not a good barometer about how you are doing. I can get you haven't told him the truth about what you are dealing with. Including tons worsening condition, your buying him alcohol, letting the cats roam the neighborhood and more. All red flags to your l9ng time readers who can tell that things are not right.

Heather Knits said...

Dad does not care about the cats! To say the least.

Hopefully I get my bed back this week, can sleep, and will improve. :)

Anonymous said...

Your dad is not a very nice person.

Heather Knits said...

He's nice to people just not cats. He wouldn't personally hurt a cat but he did make my stepmother declaw.

One reason I have told my aunt not to give my cats to my stepmother if I die first.

Anonymous said...

The issue is people are trying to tell you that you are acting out of character for you and you refuse to accept or believe it. Do you think if you got to the stage you describe above that you would listen at that escalation point either? Probably less likely should it get to that. All anyone is suggesting is you go see your doctor. Talk to him or someone before you get to that point. It could be the stress. The fact that Ron is getting worse or the reduction in meds or even the replacement med you had to take when your other was unavailable. Or all three. What would it hurt to make sure?

Anonymous said...

I don’t trust people who either hate animals or don’t care about them at all. It says a lot about a person. It’s ok to not want them as pets but to hate them or not go in your daughters house because of them... you suck.

Heather Knits said...

Well if it's any consolation the cats don't like him either. It was funny when I was 10-about 22 they did have a cat, he was declawed, and adored him, it was always getting up on the couch next to him and he let him. He would meow at it too.

So I think a fair amount of the "cat hating" is just bluster. Torbie will probably have fun with him when he comes because he will come in the house to see it and she will likely visit. Our boss is terrified of cats and I related Torbie made a special visit to her and scared the woman so bad she almost peed herself. I don't think she is ever coming back.

Anonymous said...

This is very much out of your character, Heather. Even for a potential pandemic. -star_tigress

Heather Knits said...

I am not sleeping well that is the only thing I can think. This has been ongoing for months. I can't even turn over in my sleep... I am stuck on a narrow cot.

To be honest if I had known it would last this long I would have rented a bed. Next time I know to do that.

DO THAT IF YOUR HOME IS DAMAGED AND THEY TAKE YOUR STUFF RENT A BED THAT NIGHT.

There, hopefully someone who needs to hear it will.

Sleep deprivation is horrific for bipolar I am surprised I have not gotten hostile - just REALLY REALLY bad for the illness. I am amazed I am doing this well, to be honest.

I stuck my tongue (basically) in the spiced cherry rum, it was good, capped it and put it in the Ron bag. It was a 50 ml bottle, I think I had 5 ml. Not 5 bottles.

I don't plan to have any more today.

Anonymous said...

You shouldn’t have any more. Ever. Stop downplaying everything. I can’t believe I’m reading about you consuming alcohol.