Sunday afternoon

Ron was asleep when I laid down for a nap but of course he woke up.  I hadn't fallen asleep yet.  He asked where I was he kept making noise knowing I was trying to sleep.

He asked me if I "gave him the Coke [mumble] sandwich"  I said I always give the sandwich delivery man a soda and he left me alone.  Then he asked me if it was OK for the kids to play in the yard.  I said we didn't have kids so it didn't matter if it was safe or not.  He got very upset and said we were caring for "the children" and he wanted to know if it was safe.  I said it didn't matter, again, because we don't have children.  He said, almost in tears, we had to feed them.  I said we didn't have any children.

#6 was totally quiet no kids so that wasn't confusing him.  He screamed at me and I shouted at him to get his shit together.  He finally began to "use words" my phrase, and said we were caring for WRONG.  But the kids were in our care WRONG.  THERE ARE NO KIDS.  None?  CORRECT THERE ARE NO CHILDREN AND NEVER HAVE BEEN.  He had it in his head someone had given us 2 kids to care for, and we had to give them a coke and a sandwich every day.  WRONG.  That took him aback.

I told him, not very nicely, I could only take care of him if he stayed in reality, if he was raving and irrational I wouldn't be able to take care of him anymore.  I wanted to add all the old folks homes are going to be deathtraps the next little while and he needs to stay out of them.  He got very upset at that and kept telling me loved me.

Like, I'm a deranged, crippled, irrational, abusive, alcoholic but you will kill yourself tending because I said "I love you".  My feelings are going to make (Heather) stay through abuse.  I can find another man to "love" me if it comes to that.  I am sure not getting what the Bible says a man should give his wife.  I am getting emotional manipulation by a man who is very scared.  I don't kid myself there are real feelings there... it has all been about me serving one need or another for him since the start.  A guy who truly cherished and respected me would not have done many of the things he did.

Where would I start on that?  Most recently, offering to pimp me out to the plumber even though my Dad was footing the bill.

So we ended that..Ron was trying to get me to talk to him again using some manipulation again, making this laugh "to himself" and I'm supposed to ask what, and he says "You told me to leave you alone, but I will tell you anyway" and it's a "cut" on me, so funny, ha ha.

I finally got up it was CLEAR I was not going to get any sleep and I was still wound up from the whole delusional shouting about children thing.  I went in the other room.  He said he wanted to hear a song, I said I would play it when I finished what I was doing.  I found it, he came up front.

I started playing it and he was angry about it because it has a very soft volume even with me turning it up all the way.  My sound card is fried so I just have a little built in speaker on my CPU.  He got very angry and kept screaming at me.  I finally told him he had to yell "3 more times" before the volume would go up.  I walked off then he screamed at me to turn it off.

I think I was supposed to be struck by it (it was a country music breakup song) and my heart magically soften toward him, but it was just pissing us both off.  He shouted at me to turn it off, it was "ruined".  I turned if off then he started screaming at me to turn it on.

I said WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?  NO I WILL NOT.  He finally managed to get out he wanted it "loud like it used to be".  I told him it was BROKEN.  He got that and went back to his room.  Agh.