Sunday, July 2, 2023

My two grandmothers

 I will start with my maternal grandmother. She was born to a very poor family I believe with rampant mental illness.  She was placed into an orphanage around age 7. She had a younger sister who was more winsome and cute. An aunt traveled to adopt my grandmother, Hope, but was so struck with the cute little sister she adopted her instead, leaving my grandmother to age out in the orphanage. 

She received this Bible when she left the orphanage to start her life.  


Hope got off to a good start, she met and married a dashing young Army pilot who married her, got her pregnant. He was killed during an airshow. She witnessed it. My brother actually spoke to the man responsible for his death and it still haunts him. 

To add insult to injury, widowed and pregnant, when he had enlisted he had made his mother and sister (so I have another aunt I have never met) beneficiaries on his pension.  They refused to give the money to his widow and child, she fought them in court for 10 years before she got it. 

By then she had become a very bitter and abusive woman.  She was so terrible to my mother (the only comment I got out of that "She used to chain me to the piano") my mother fled at age 12, met her first husband, got pregnant with my brother and had him in the back of a cab (delivered by police man which is interesting as my brother later got into law enforcement) a few months after she turned 13.  But still better than going home. She had my sister at age 14. 

But this is about my grandmother not my mother (will do a blog post if there is interest). My grandmother was a mathametician and very good at it. She worked at NASA but began showing signs of mental illness; they encouraged her to get treatment and she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was livid at that, refused the diagnosis, and left NASA. She managed to support herself up until she retired. 

My mother invited her to come visit after my birth and they had some sort of falling out that resulted in my mother literally holding my grandmother prisoner in the basement. My grandmother never forgave her for that and I was also disowned for that too. I never once got a card,letter, present, or phone call from my own grandmother. My stepbrother once asked "Why does she HATE you?" and I had to say I didn't know. 

My sister said she was bitter when told my mother had died, not sad,never sad at losing her only child.  Not that she showed anyone. 

My sister fell into the caregiver role with her and managed the nursing homes,etc. My grandmother had breast cancer for a very long time but was too stubborn to die. When she did die my sister took the ashes in her car back to her place, a drive of a few days.  She stayed with friends along the way and not one of them would allow "that woman"'s ashes in their home.  She had to stay in the trunk. She was buried at sea. 

My sister got 99% of her "stuff" and I got the Bible,the family silver (regifted to my niece), and a few pieces of art I no longer own. 

She told my sister she was born again but we both agree she had no fruits of the spirit. 

That's it for her.  I don't have a photo either.  

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow what an interesting story. The big question is was she abusive all along or did she become abusive because of the bitterness regarding her deceased husbands death and having to fight the family for 10 years to get the money she was entitled to? I think it may have been a combination of the two. Can't wait to read about your mother's interesting story.

Heather Knits said...

I like to think she was very sweet and "hope"ful (that was her name after all) up till her husband died. When my Dad told me the story why she wasn't in my life he said she "lost it" after that. Seeing her husband die (I can't imagine) in some sort of midair collision while pregnant with his child...OK I will do birth mom next.