Wednesday morning

 If I'm not working I call Mom and Dad at a set time every day and they are always happy to get the call.  She is a caregiver for her 100 year old, somewhat confused, mother so sometimes she gets delayed with that for a while but we nearly always talk.  They told me they got their COVID test because Dad had an exposure.  

They probably don't want me sharing their medical issues but they each have them so are at higher risk, even though they have not gotten sick yet.  But still I think that struck me as I had nightmares last night about losing Dad.  Actually losing either would be bad as Dad really relies on his wife and I don't want him to go through what I did losing Ron.  It would be a lot worse for him as he has been married an additional 20 some years.  

So depressed today.  I am also having some anxiety over, of all things, lunches.  Yes.  Lunches.  What am I going to fix for my lunches?  I have 4 long days coming up and I don't want to go hungry.  

I experienced some hunger as a baby/toddler because my mother was too drunk and depressed to feed me most days (per both Dad and sister) so a lot of hunger back then and I really dislike it.  I would get fed in the morning before they left for work/school and when they got back but not in the middle.  Probably one factor behind my weight I like to have a spare tank.  I will figure it out today.  

For a while I was just buying 2 double cheeseburgers before work, eat one before I started work and another on my lunch.  But that gets expensive and I have a lot of cooked meat + rice in the freezer so I plan to bring those and maybe a lunchable too.  I may go to the dollar store today and see what kind of lunch snack things they have.   

Well I did my God time and devotionals.  One interesting note from Spurgeon was accepting bad times from God as well as good, which is important.  I tend to just want the good times.  

And Biscuit completely freaked me out.  He was on his condo where I do my God Time (Torbie died on the bottom shelf of that condo but I don't focus on it), I looked at him, and his eye was messed up.  I got up and went over he had just pulled his eyelid up laying there, the eye was fine.  But it did take me aback.  

I have decided I am going out to the dollar store and then the Burger King and then home.  I am casually dressed in a rather ratty performance t shirt and my modest denim shorts.  These, unlike everything out there these days, are not skin tight and actually have an inseam that goes halfway down to my knees.  

That's it for now, I want to catch my bus.