Ron woke me up early, 6:30.
I had given him a bottle of Kratom to keep by his bed and take when his back is acting up and I am asleep. He "lost" it (it was right next to his foot) and woke me up.
I really need to do a shelf next to his bed, on the wall above it. I am thinking to slit a pool noodle and use that as a cushion so he won't hit his head.
Anyway, I got up, gave him his antibiotic, a multi vitamin, and some Kratom as he was feeling amenable to medication. Then I applied some magnets.
Brushed my teeth, fed the cats. Seriously thinking about going back to bed.
14 comments:
Yeah because when piss man is in a drunken stupor he's not going to knock everything off the shelf.
I would clean his room let him scream and yell he will get over it eventually someone else mentioned going in while he is drinking and fill a bag each time. I would tell him “when you go in the kitchen to drink I am hauling the garbage out of your room. And then just do it with headphones on while he is drinking . You have seen the worst he can do . Let him do it . Or again I know you are tired of hearing this but call APS and ask them what you should do.
It is ok to ask for help Heather I promise you that you are doing a great job with the cats and with Ron but you do neglect yourself and he is bullying you to live in a hell hole . If the cats can have clean litter boxes he can have a clean bedroom ..unless you call for help you have to do it obviously so make HIM empty those bottles and I would get him to commit to only 2 bottles use one clean one..toss the rest ... I can not remember why you would not buy regular urinals? Then he could hook them on a drawer or something .
I suggest you watch some YouTube’s on “how to de clutter “ and just use every mania you get to do it . Focus on a clean house for you and the kitties and let him scream he will do it anyway honestly like I said you have heard the worst things a human being can toss at you so let him have a tantrum.
Hope something I said here helps sometimes I feel like I just ramble OOOXXX much love and have a peaceful Thanksgiving
A juice bottle has a sturdy, screw-on cap. A urinal does not. That is really the big reason we use the juice bottles. A standard urinal gets knocked over and leaks, even in a hospital setting.
Big goal today is to get him a bath and then remake the bed while he's out of it.
I'm thinking he won't knock things down if it is up on the wall above his head. Hence, the pool noodle cushion. He has been angry I "took" the walker he has not been able to use for 3 years, he had some things propped on top of that and is finding it difficult to adjust.
I also have to think, we live in a flood plain. If water comes in at night all his wallet, cell phone, etc is gone. But not if it is up on a shelf.
Thinking some more about it; good odds it will become a shelf for cats.
But a urinal in a hospita setting is usually emptied and cleaned after being used, isn’t intended to prop them up around the room for display.
The reason for the juice bottle still doesn't explain why there must be 6-7 half filled bottles of urine laying around his bedroom. As I recall just recently during another drunken rampage he knocked over said piss bottle and spilled urine all over his bedroom. No doubt not the first time or the last time. Wait until he demands a bucket for his feces and then starts flinging that around during a drunken episode. Should make for some good times down the line for you.
He keeps them under his bed.
But you are right he did spill one last week, I think?
He has said if he can't use the toilet for #2 he would rather go in a nursing home. I'm kind of with him on that one.
I have teased him and said we can't own a gun but he could throw the contents of a urinal on a home invader. They would be so busy vomiting we would have time to get away.
Why not include “urinal cleanup” as a daily task like at the same time you do litter boxes? (I hope that’s daily) Ron is almost like an animal sometimes anyway. Then there won’t be 6-7 of them everywhere.
That's what I was thinking, just wrap them into the litter box. I had just done the urinals so today wasn't bad, I need more bleach but it went fine and not gagging and all. I don't think it'll be bad that way, dump, soak in bleach while I scoop the boxes, take poop out, dump urinals again and give back to Ron.
I thought you said Ron was capable of emptying his own waste. Now it is up to you to do that also? Why can't the man do anything but life a vodka bottle to his lips? Is he that debilitated? How is he able to wipe himself if he can't empty a urine filled juice bottle?
Well, he can, but this is what he generally does: let several bottles build up. Put them in wheelchair. Hunch over behind wheelchair and "walk", pushing it to bathroom. Sit on edge of tub, open each bottle and empty into toilet, etc., then put empty bottles back in wheelchair seat and walk back to his room (it is very ugly, him "walking")
I think it will be easier for me to pick up 1-2 bottles from under his bed every day when I do the litter box.
Now, if I'm sick he can empty his own bottles but I think that will make things easier.
He is pretty feeble, he was telling me the other day he was having trouble picking up the large bottle of vodka.
I have been two years away from domestic violence, had therapy as you know ect ect . I never could truly tell you what my “favorite “ anything was because I was so wrapped up in “his” life. Then he tried to kill me . I will never marry again and have no interest in “partnering” with anyone. Good therapy goes a long way. I enjoy my life and look forward to traveling a few more places then adopting a cat and dog .
I am so much healthier now that I left that constant state of stress and “fight or flight” the cortisol that constantly goes off when you are full time care taking..trust me I was he was so sick and sad. ....I still struggle with what my favorite colors are but it is because I can see color again (one of the ways i know I am depressed is the world is sepia for me i see no color just sepia ) I have spent the last year an a half seeing color !
( I may have told you this before but if I did it should be repeated because I wish someone had said that it was really ok for me to leave until I heard it . No one did so I am trying to do that for you! It is really ok to ask for help from the community your commenters are much more supportive lately and giving such good advice! They seem to want to help guide you not judge you I hope you feel that ? Please know you are a valuable person who deserves a good life .
Please get help see a lawyer talk to someone about getting help there are legal services you can get for free as a victim of domestic abuse. Make sure the house is ok and will go to you when he eventually either goes to a home or passes from his own behavior . It is so sad I feel incredible empathy for you ! When my husband punched the wall next to my head and told me “remorse is your business” I realized that life is about how you are living it.
Here is an idea :)
Heather watch a YouTube about decluttering, clean your house make a play room out of your living room for the cats and you to film them and then start YouTube vlog channel about the cats they are very popular ! They are relaxing for those of us who do not have pets right now ! OOOXXX make a list of how to protect yourself and get some help. You have earned the right to a good and decent life. Much love dear girl done blabbing
I am still trying to figure out what is best for everyone.
But don’t end up doing what’s better for Ron, so heather comes in second place again. Like another poster said, start putting yourself first. He doesn’t deserve anything but the basic respect that comes with being a human being. After the way he’s treated you he deserves nothing more.
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