Orange jumpsuit

I have been thinking about "my" orange jumpsuit recently.  I have been getting a lot of 21 pilots (music) on my feed on Youtube and he sings a lot about "his jumpsuit".  I started thinking about my only jumpsuit. 

I was in home ec in Junior high, I did very well at it because I knew everything but sewing and I picked that up.  I made myself a skirt.  I never wore it but how many can say they made themselves an article of clothing? 

So I signed up for it again in high school.  My illness was RAGING by then, fueled by double doses of antidepressants.  See, I was very deeply depressed in the 8th grade.  That only got worse after the guy shot up my Dad's office and I almost lost him.  I had a real spiral going.  So they put me on Prozac, 20 mg a day. 

It didn't help.  So they upped it to 40 mg.  Now, there is a reason they say never give antidepressants, alone, it causes extreme mania in bipolar.  You HAVE to do a mood stabilizer.  Hell, I do two! 

Anyway, I rocketed between manias and depressions, wildly veering all over the road... it was exhausting.  So I got to high school, totally unstable, should be in a hospital but my Dad's cheap HMO didn't see the need... and I'm in home ec. 

I fell in with a rather lazy group and we would just make a pot of rice for lunch every day.  All the other kids were formulating these exotic dishes and we're eating plain boiled rice.  But that's depression food for you. 

Then we had to sew something again and this time I decided I wanted a jumpsuit.  I had read a book and they made jumpsuits sound like the coolest thing ever, so I wanted one.  No one else had one.  You couldn't buy them back then and no internet.  So it was just me and the pattern book at the craft store.  I picked one out.  I bought the pattern.  I had to pick the fabric, of course. 

And, in the early 90's, I decided I just had to have the orange doubleknit.  And no one said a word.  They just said "Oh, orange?"

Not one person thought to tell me I would look like an escaped inmate in that thing.  Of course the mania didn't last, I didn't finish it, and I eventually threw it out.  But can you imagine me, manic, wandering around in a zip front orange, double-knit, jumpsuit? 

But that's where a mania led me.  Thank God I never wore it in public.  But every time I hear the singer sing about "my jumpsuit" I think about that poor thing.  It never had a chance.