I didn't sleep well last night, got up, took my shower. I took my antibiotic and took a pain pill even though I didn't think I would need it. I also used both deodorants, applied one, let it dry, applied the other on top. Glad I did that.
Arturo came and we went to the dentist. I have been thinking for the last hours how I would convey this.
I went in there thinking he would just glue something down and that would be it. For those who have had a root canal or crown you know about "buildup". I did not.
It was a very unpleasant process even though I was numb. The dentist is a very nice man, not a butcher, but I just had a terrible experience. I lay there thinking "If I had the tooth pulled last week I would be better by now" and similar thoughts, when I wasn't begging God to hurry the process. It took hours. According to my bib I bled some. He had to expand on the root canal as I could definitely feel something at one point.
I don't even want to think about it. If I need another root canal I am getting knocked out, have the tooth pulled, and having an implant done. It would probably cost about the same, take less time, less wear and tear on me sitting in the chair... etc.
WHEN do I ever say "I don't want to talk about it?" But here we are. At the end the dentist was pleased.
I have my temporary crown and then I get the permanent in 3 weeks. Hopefully THAT will be the just gluing something down.
I just feel traumatized. Ron had his phone off and my aunt was working an election today. After the dentist I said to hell with it I need a treat. He is walking distance from a donut shop so I went over and got a snack to eat later, walked back to the dentist and called Arturo. He took me to my polling place.
I walked in, it was dead. I voted. I will say I voted to oppose state income tax and also voted for service dogs (K9, etc) and horses to go to their handler. The machine kept talking to me. I thought that was interesting as Ron has always just had me cast the vote for him, he is not interested in doing it himself. He tells me what he wants and I vote accordingly (for him). I was done in a couple of minutes and walked home (it is close).
I checked the mail on the way back. Ron, by the way, had wanted me to ask Arturo to buy him some vodka and give it to me on my way home. I said I am not taking vodka into the polling place and then walking a mile home with it! But I did find the electric bill which is...$80.51. I can pay it this weekend or something. It isn't due for a couple of weeks.
Ron was depressed and sleeping, very moody when he woke up for a minute so happy to let him go back to sleep He did not know the word "Pineapple", he called it "The fruit that makes me feel better".
Oh, boy.
The cats are good, Cleo just came up for some petting (no burger!) and laid down next to my foot with her mother. Progress!
14 comments:
November 2nd he got vodka and now it is November 5th and he is already out of vodka. Why not tally up his monthly total for vodka (including cab fare for the vodka and tips) and see how much of your money he is pouring down his throat. Money that can be used to pay off your mortgage. Money that can be put in an emergency fund for you and even for him when he is unable to be dragged into work to just sit there anymore.
So did you come up with a dollar amount yet or are you still working on it?
I could, but I won't.
He did buy a lot at one time today which is more economical. It is a lot more expensive in the long run to do constant cab trips buying single bottles at a time.
Why not? Afraid to find out how wasteful he is with money.
How much do you spend on your habits?
He is putting you and the cats in jeapordy with his spending. Maybe if you see the monthly number it will open your eyes to this.
Heather, that’s not a fair reply. This person is trolling, but at the same time if you asked me my habits I’d say going to NBA games, video games, and stuff for my car.
Do I spend money on these things? Sure. Do I need them? No?
But... do they harm me? Do they impact my life?
No.
Alcohol does for Ron. That’s the difference.
Yeah, "Intervention" wanted to know, too. I could just see him getting the delivery on TV.
Like I said, I could make a guess but it isn't going to "fix" anything. He still denies he has a problem, giving him a number of how much he's spending isn't going to fix that. Just make him angry, in denial, defiant.
I bitterly resent the friend of ours with, believe it or not, an even BIGGER drinking problem and several DUI charges, lost his license for years, finally got it back this year. He called Ron when Ron was drinking and "What are you drinking?" "Oh, that stuff is shoe polish, you need to drink the flavored vodka". Which pretty effectively doubled what we spend on vodka. Our friend makes a lot of money and can afford a big bottle of flavored vodka *now and then* Ron is drinking a fifth of the stuff every day and does not make that kind of money. I have asked him to go back to the cheaper vodka and he has told me off.
So why don't you tell us the number that he spends on vodka? My guess is that it is about $800 a month. Which would effectively be your entire monthly salary which is a pittance considering you do ALL the work and he does nothing. You wouldn't even tell the TV show how much he spends a month on vodka.
Sounds like you are in denial.
Who cares if he gets angry and defiant. He needs to know he is putting you at risk and if he cared about you he wouldn't do that.
You can't blame the drunk friend for giving him drinking advice. You could block said friends phone number so he can't contact Ron. That's what I would do.
Not to mention since you are married it is NOT his right to SPEND ALL of both of your money on vodka. Marriage is supposed to be a joint venture. Yours is very one sided.
I think you should also ask for a raise effective December 1st by about $200 a month. Less money for Ron for vodka and more for you to save.
If I had to guess I would say around $400. BUT it depends on how he gets it, it is about $20 a trip for each trip to the liquor store. So if he just buys a bottle at a time he is spending way more money.
I am not angry at our friend just exasperated but he has not seen Ron blackout drunk. I just don't want anyone giving Ron ammo in the "I am fine to drink" department. Suggesting alcohol to him and bringing him alcohol is just a very bad idea. "Poor bastard needs to take a load off" NOT REALLY. But not sure how to convey this without looking shrieky.
Sales have been pretty grim and he can barely afford to pay me what I get. His disposable is all going into vodka. We are not eating out anymore unless it is a drive through on the way home from the bank.
Do you ever think your sales suffer compared to the other dealer due to Ron’s meanness towards you at work and his grumpiness to employees?
Perhaps they don’t want to support him?
Ron is actually pretty cuddly to the employees but due to his hearing loss can't hear them half the time, so they go to me. I am generally the one to "fix the problem" anyway.
He likes to give away a drink if someone wants to buy one when he is stocking a machine, I'd say they like him pretty well for that.
Basically he is better to them than he is to me, at home. He does not get very ugly with me at work and only when we are alone. We were having a small disagreement when I was pushing him up the hall, this woman came up next to us, eavesdropping, and asked how we were doing, very loudly, clearly trying to stop it. If she had that kind of issue with a minor disagreement she eavesdropped on I can only imagine her work life, which of course is going to be full of disagreements and conflicts.
But I have had people at work tell me stories of torturing cats, offering to be my "bondage" partner, do spankings to me, etc. One guy told me he could satisfy me now that Ron couldn't, I told him I was fine at home - had to tell him several times but he got it now. So probably more a case of us getting it from the customers as opposed to vice versa.
Not true he has yelled at you in front of people at work but no one ever says anything when he does. Ron is spending almost 5000 a year on vodka. That was almost my rent payment 6 years ago. That money over 10 years would have been 50,000 to save or use towards paying down mtg debt. It is probably more than 400 a month since you wont say how much he pays himself a month. Just trying to show you how wasteful he is.
I agree on wasting money but we have a policy of not telling the other what to do with their money. God knows I wasted plenty back in the days before I got my medication right. I would get a ficus obsession or whatever and spend weeks' worth of pay on it, then it would fizzle out, more crap sitting around the house, etc. I will say he at least uses up what he buys! LOL
Basically re: fiances, we take money out. He pays taxes and me, buys inventory, keeps what is left - so that number changes every month.
Post a Comment