Some days are easier than others

I slept better last night, even though I don't have my mouth guard.  I only woke myself up once. 

We went to work, Ron needs an exhaustive amount of assistance doing his job now.  Before, even, say 5 years ago: He would do it all himself.  He would take a cart, go in the stockroom, load it with sodas, and stock it himself.  Now he sits there while I do it for him, and stand over him while he works because he gets the sodas mixed up.  It would be a lot faster to do it myself but Ron is the sort of man who has to do something. 

The other vendor is not as hands-on with stocking, he does his work in the stockroom and at home, both options are fine.  But today I told Ron we need to double the amount of time we are allocating for work because it takes hours to help him every day.  And we only have 4 soda machines!  It was just exhausting. 

THEN I get the option: stock the food and snack machines in one hour.  Which was impossible, the food and one snack look really good but that's all I could do.  I feel bad about that, I have a good work ethic and one thing I enjoyed about Ron's back surgery: I never left until I was done.  I basically had a "will call" with the driver and only called when I was done and had put everything up.  And, guess what, we made more money, too. 

So I told him that, I was pretty stressed at the time.  Then I had a woman come up to me, never buys anything from my machines, interrupts me when I am very busy and away from the vending machines asking for change.  I told her I keep the change in the machines.  She just stood there like "So are we walking back to them?"  So I had to say it out loud: "I have 20 minutes to finish all my work and I do not have time to make change".  I didn't feel bad because she is not a customer.  If she was a regular I would have figured something out, but one thing that has happened FAR too often, someone interrupts me when I am busy, wanting change.  I get it for them and they LEAVE our area and go give the money to the other vendor, or the guy selling takeout lunches. 

There is nothing in our contract about making change, either. 

So I did what I could, we left, came home.  BOTH drivers today had the old-style vans the other driver had.  Both of them were able to secure Ron quite tightly (he likes to be tight) and transport him safely.  The return driver told me "They train us on both kinds of straps" so that driver Saturday was just incompetent.  I will be calling on her. 

I thought they neglected to train her on the old straps.  No.  She just chose not to do it safely.  The job involves a lot of bending, squatting, and reaching when securing a wheelchair and maybe she didn't feel like it.  I don't know.  BUT.  Reporting her. 

We came home, it was still warm.  As you may know there is a very nasty cold front headed our way this afternoon/evening. 

I got Ron settled and took a nap.  I went to a lot of trouble to get him into bed safely and he got out and went to the kitchen for more vodka, passed out in his wheelchair, thank God did not fall.  He woke up babbling and I finally figured out he wanted a snack.  I gave him some corn chips, he was happy.  Then I took him back to bed AGAIN, got him in, made sure he would not fall out, gave him the rest of his corn chips, helped him find something he lost, put his blanket on the bed, etc. 

I keep seeing ads on Facebook, if the patient is on Medicaid the government will pay friends and family to take care of them.  $10 an hour.  That could add up nicely if Ron were on Medicaid.  Because he is becoming more and more intensive. 

It used to be I could go all day, he was fine, come home with my junk and he was fine.  I left the house one time the last couple years, came home, he was on the floor covered in blood, had fallen out of the wheelchair and cut himself.  That is not a sight I ever want again.  That was almost as bad as him in the hospital. 

I talked to him about his memory issues, they are bothering him.  I said it could be related to the B-12 (calling me again).  This time it was trying to find the battery cover again.  I saw the exterior blinds were flapping in the wind as the cold front approaches so I went out in the cold, wet, and rain to roll those up for the winter.  Now we will have a little more light but less privary. 

My delivery is due any time.  I have a decent tip in my pocket for them, it is a heavy order, some bottled water (I don't drink it but Ron does), cat litter, etc. 

Ugh, Ron is super needy today.  What bothers me, I go back to help, do what I can, ask if he needs anything "No" and leave.  3 minutes later he is yelling for me again. 

It is exhausting even though he has made an obvious effort to be nice to me today.  [edit: or did, for a while]

Oh, reading back, I said b-12 could be linked to the memory problem and he should do the shots, and he refused.  If I was having mental issues and someone said an injection might help I would be all over that - hell, I take HOW MANY pills a day?  But he refused so we will let a MD tell him. 

I hope Walmart has my Gelato. 

They did.  I also got my dental guard, need to use the kitchen.  Ron: "I just need a minute for a quick drink", now doing his whole OCCUPY: KITCHEN thing even though I have asked him to move repeatedly.  It has been over half an hour.  I told him I need 10-15 minutes tops and he can have it back. 

He is still bugging me to find his lost battery cover "I don't blame you" for it's loss.  I didn't lose it, he did something stupid and drunken and lost it, it could be anywhere, just like his work keys. 

I told him he BETTER NOT blame me for HIM losing the battery cover.  I looked 3 times in the kitchen, which is small, 3 times next to his bed with a flashlight (not easy).  I don't know what he did with it, probably put it in his "liquor" cabinet, a huge cabinet he appropriated when we bought the house.  He used to keep his tools in it, now he keeps a hoarder's collection of junk, a few tools, and bottled liquor. 

Just really frustrated right now.  I feel like I am giving respect but none is given in return. 

Like I said in the title, some days are easier than others. 

45 minutes after his "quick drink" he became very verbally abusive when I told him I HAD been waiting.  He had done this whole "let me know when you need the kitchen".  And I told him I HAVE been needing it for over a half hour.  "You should have asked me" "I did".  "You're a f#cking bitch, TAKE ME BACK TO MY ROOM" so he apparently wants valet service and can't propel himself 30 feet. 

I told him the next time he calls me I am not coming AND I didn't help him into bed.  Now I can finally do my mouth guard because, guaranteed, after the day I've had I will be grinding tonight.