I paid $100 on the credit card today, and put some money back into my personal emergency fund.
Had a terrible morning but got Ron to work. We did what we could and took the money out of the machines. We put it in a bag and took it to the bank.
The bank was packed, I found an out of the way corner and sat down... started counting. Normally we can do this without issue. Normally people leave us alone. Normally it is quiet. None of that applied.
The bank manager came over to interrogate us, but when he saw it was us he asked a few questions and left us alone. It was obvious we were putting money into the bank. I was sitting in a folding chair. There was another folding chair a few feet away but Ron didn't need it because he's in a wheelchair. About 1/3 of the way in a thug, complete with sagging pants and gang colors, comes over with his girlfriend who moves the seat 6 inches from me and sits down. I said "Hell, no" OUT LOUD, stood up with my stuff, moved Ron and my chair several feet away... but they were watching us. The guy is talking about his criminal activities, etc. They are both staring at Ron, who is sitting big wads of bills in his lap as he counts them (all of this was $1 bills but ignorant people don't get that). I am thinking, if we didn't have a million cameras in here I just know Ron would get robbed.
They were finally helped, and I saw them leave before we did so I feel OK about that, but VERY uncomfortable. We counted the money, enough to pay me, some for inventory, and some for Ron. I took $100 of my pay and put it on the credit card. I pay my debts.
We called Arturo and left. We went though a drive through and I got Cleo her burger, that was funny ordering. I explained what I wanted, the voice on the drive through was annoyed and baffled I basically wanted 2 meat patties. I explained it was for my cat. She made me repeat that a few times, then said "That cat GREEDY".
They got the order perfect. Not only did I get my food but Cleo got her two meat patties on a lettuce leaf (very artistic) in a box. I just got waxed paper. Ron wanted to get more vodka. I ate my burgers during that. (I had 2 small burgers for me).
We went home, the cats were dying... and wanted to eat again. So I fed them some Mixed Grill. They liked that just fine but Cleo was full now. I took my pills (so many pills!) and took a nap. I slept pretty well and woke up about an hour and a half ago. I did a load of laundry and talked to Ron, who is in bed and apparently resting comfortably.
I went in the kitchen and Cleo came over, she is working her way up to "real" meows but does little peeps and squeaks at me, very cute. I got a small meow so I gave her some beef. I petted her all over while she ate.
"Petting is a good thing". Then she nursed off her mother for a while and Mama Cat wanted some dry, which I gave her. If she is still nursing she needs more calories. But I do wonder how long she can go.
I put some of my pay into my personal emergency fund... not a lot of luxury funds right now but enough to buy groceries, etc. I have already prepaid for the rest of my root canal so just cab fare Tuesday (Ron does not want to take me).
I have plenty of pet food, my big plan is to mix up the cans of wet food so the cats have some variety. I also need to put my clothes in the dryer and get them going when they're done. But I can hear the washer so not yet.
I guess I will go work on the cat food, then.
10 comments:
So after ALL of his nonsense last night into the early morning you meekly go with him so he can get more vodka. I just don't get it. I would have went off screaming and yelling and cursing him at the top of my lungs. That is how much of a breaking point I would have.
Well, Arturo was right there and would not have appreciated a drama.
The way I see it Ron is a grown man and can make decisions on whether he wants to hurt himself or not. If I have tantrums and ultimatums guaranteed it will push him into drinking more.
Bullshit. He is not hurting himself he is hurting you and the cats. Shame you can't see that and make it about him. Arturo is a big boy he can handle it and no ultimatums will not make him drink more that's just nonsense.
I think you need to change the way you see it. You could easily end his drinking as he is wheelchair bound and blind. The “he’s a grown man” excuse just doesn’t work.
Everything I have read and seen says only he can end it. Look at my mother, she was a heavy drinker from about age 13. Everyone tried everything. She had tons of money and went to lots of programs. Multiple interventions. She had lots of therapy. She was diagnosed bipolar and given medication... and none of it helped because she didn't want to stop.
So she died much like Ron will, half naked on the floor next to a bottle of vodka. She was only 58.
Ultimatums have made him drink more - "setting it down" = more drinking EVERY time. Every. Even AA says not to do it. Every person is different, he is very stubborn, like me. That is sometimes a good thing but not in this case.
Sorry I just don't believe you. Maybe everytime he drinks you should verbally abuse him like he does to you. I bet he wouldn't like that. Rail against giving you a nasty pathetic blind invalid for a husband and what a bitch he is.
I wouldn't drop to his level. It's like when he was cheating and gave me "permission", even if he said it was OK I didn't want to. Cheating would have still made me a slut.
Same with Ron, even if I knew he would not remember there is not much I would say to him.
I do all my railing here.
https://www.google.com/search?q=cameron+douglas+book&oq=Cameron+douglas+bok&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.9514j0j4&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=W6YVssNPJIKo2M:
11 rehabs... he didn't quit until he was READY.
Normally I don't post links but I checked it out. Yeah, everyone has to hit rock bottom.
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