Made it home!

 Ace came right on time and I gave him his own bag of candy.  He was happy to get it, he has a sweet tooth.  I got home, the house was dark, had not been egged. 

I ran in and turned on the lights and was overwhelmed with a swarm of kids, about 50 of them in 20 minutes.  It has been quiet ever since but I will stay up a bit.  

One of my sponsors sent me an Amazon hot shot of New Testaments and some candy.  I confess I sampled a push pop.  I was curious.  

The cats hid during the trick or treating but are eating and acting normally now.  

I am glad to be home.  I had some cereal for dinner.  

That's it for now.  

I got called an effing, racist, bitch

 I have certain rules to follow at work; which I did.  Customer objected "No one else has done that" which I have heard before.  Sorry maam it is the rules.  Then she went off on me while I continued to follow the rules.  

She basically said I was persecuting her because she was black, I hated black people, etc.

I thought about telling her I was married to a black man for 29 years and how I took care of him after his "good" black family tried to put him in a nursing home and then disowned him.  But I thought why bother she is just trying to get a rise so she can complain to the manager and try to get something free.  I also saw she had her phone at an angle to film me so I just repeated I had to follow the rules.  

She got more and more upset as I remained calm and her abuse escalated.  But after 13 years with my stepbrother and 29 years with Ron I am pretty immune to verbal abuse.  She eventually gave up and stormed off after throwing more abuse in my direction.

The store has been very busy tonight I will be happy to go home.

I am really sick of "Tiny Dancer"

 They play it a lot on the overhead.  Ron used to love it until he found out the artist was gay.  Then he would get angry everytime he heard it and make comments that would get my blog shut down.

I never liked that artist but I did like George Michael who was bi.  He was very open about it.  "Monkey" is a work of art about loving someone with addiction.

I bought some diet dew.  I feel I am very creaky since I started up with HFCS.  

That's it for now! 

Monday at work

 There's a guy here at work has my vote most likely to shoot the place up.  He quit Friday and when he did the Team Lead laughed at him.  I thought that was poorly done.  

Anyway he is back at work now so whatever has been resolved.  

I didn't hand out much candy on my way in because the drivers had their doors closed at the transit center.  They didn't know me so they didn't open them.  I can see why they had the doors shut it was very cold for Houston.  And these guys didn't know "candy lady" from some random weirdo.

So I only did 5.  Ace is getting me after work so he'll get a bag if he wants.

That's it for now.  Biscuit was working on a hairball so I didn't get much sleep last night.  

A very frigid Monday morning

 Well the cold front came in and it was nasty, I could hear the wind buffeting the house.  I had turned the system (I can only do heat OR cold that is the only kind of thermostat Ron could operate) to heat, anything under 72 kick on.  It started running last night.  I thought it would be too cold for me but it is OK I think I will keep it here after the chocolate is gone.  

It is in the 40's with 20 mph wind so I am wearing long underwear (pants) and my heavy winter jacket.  I am also wearing some of my $1 wool socks.  I will let you know how they did.  

I plan to leave in about half an hour but I'm ready to go, showered, God Time, petted the cats, fed the cats, fixed my lunch, brought my medication with me to take on my lunch, that's about all I can do.  It will be interesting getting to work.  

I never take this bus so a whole new set of drivers too.  I brought extra candy but this is just pinata mix + evangelism not the chocolate.  I am saving that for tomorrow night and later.  

I sent an email to my tract curator and asked if he had a "I know your life is terrible but God loves you" type tract I could hand out on Thanksgiving, because my last Thanksgiving handout there were a lot of depressed and angry people driving around.  I found some "Be grateful you sinner" type tracts but that's not what I'm looking for; a lot don't feel like they have much. 

And a person can have things but it means nothing without relationships.  That is one reason it is so important for me to hand out candy and Bibles; my recipients are precious to me.  

I did my upper lip treatment this morning as I will be a public face the next few days.  LOL  I want to have the best public face I can.  

Today is my long day, 11-8, tomorrow is 11:30-8, Wednesday is easier at 1:30-8 I believe.  

Yesterday at church they were handing out empty tote bags.  They want families to fill them with dry goods for a Thanksgiving giveaway.  They have some basic stuff on there like Jello and stuffing but I am thinking a couple cans of gravy, some pudding mix and a box of vanilla wafers (Banana pudding is sliced bananas, vanilla wafers, and pudding mixed together and is a holiday staple for many families in Houston), etc.  They also said enclose a note so I will get a nice card.  I'm going to do this all next Wednesday when I get paid.  I just have to make sure it is light enough I can carry it to the bus stop and then the mile or so from the bus stop to the church!  It will be fun.  

They plan to do some hundreds of these bags.  

I hope they are putting an evangelism thing in there too.  

That's it for now.  

It was really funny with my Dad

"You're really good at keeping secrets" Dad, you have no idea.  I didn't say that.  

"You tricked me!"  No I just refrained from telling until I was sure I had insurance.  

At any rate he was fine once he got over that.  He said he put up my screenshot on the flat screen and also printed it up.  He's happy.  He couldn't stop talking about it.  

I always figured God would take care of me if something happened but Dad;s more left brained I guess.  

I do need a physical it has been about 20 years.  Yeah.  Self employment and caregiver burnout - the last thing I wanted to do in my free time was go to another doctor's office!  I went for a bladder infection, a bad shoulder (turns out I have a little arthritis but it doesn't bother me now), sinus trouble at the doc in the box but that was about it.  That's it in 20 years.  Not a bad record.  

In the meantime Ron was seeing so very many doctors at the end he finally fired all of them except primary (blood pressure pill) and neurologist (seizure pill).  I said he had to keep those.  He was terrified of high blood pressure and rightly so because it helped kill him.  He was particularly worried about having another stroke due to high blood pressure and ending up "gorked out" able to think but not able to communicate.  I didn't even have to suggest it he's the one brought it up.  

So I am glad he died the way he did.  Not that way.  

I am freezing the AC is set at 74 so the candy won't melt.    I am carrying a little "leftover" candy with Snickers in an insulated lunch bag with a cold pack as it will be in the 80's today; and the magic number is chocolate melts at 76.  I am not, if within my power, handing out melted chocolate.  

Let's see if I can put up a pic of how I look: 

I am STILL not sick of the bright colors I used in my house.  The outfit is very comfortable as well, the skirt came to about my knees when I sat and I wasn't really comfortable with that on the bus.  Not that bus at any rate.  So the leggings.  I am just wearing a black ankle sock and black lace up sneakers.  

The finger in the photo lets you know I'm really the one who took it as I always put my finger in my photos.  

I woke up with a little bit of a headache but some Excedrin nailed it.  I took that with an antidepressant, two good reasons to get out of bed.  

Now tomorrow's going to suck I ride the bus in to work and work 9 hours.  I do have a ride home though.  So I'll be gone about the same amount of time just make an extra $25 for the 2 hours.  3 days in a row.  So that adds up.  

I want to do some fun charity gifts in addition to a small regular gift for Christmas.  This will enable that and then some.  

That's it for now.  

Nothing gets me more excited

 Than a package in the mail, particularly Bibles or evangelism material: something from Grace and Truth (tracts), Lifeway (Bibles), World Missionary Press (Scripture booklets), things of that sort.  

So today I did up over 100 evangelism things, very happy and satisfied I did that, I feel like I did something that matters.  Checked the mail just now and found a package from World Missionary Press which led to excited exclamations.  

I opened it up when I got home, Victory in Jesus (Christ is Victor/spiritual warfare) and Wings Over Zion (The Jews are God's chosen people, those who oppose them oppose God, Jesus is the Messiah, etc.) which I have so been wanting to hand out in these times.  Wings wasn't on the website anymore but I asked, and, just like "A Basic Study of New Testament Scriptures" they still had it it's just an insider track I guess.  Doesn't hurt I donate when I can, I guess, either.  

I remember several times I was just having a horrible day at work, came home to a case of Bibles on the porch which made it all better.  

(I am OK on Bibles for now once my sponsor sends me a few for Thanksgiving I'm just sharing something that makes me happy).  

Finished the candy!

 So today was interesting.  I went to Kroger and they don't have the WowButter any more so I probably won't be going back for a long while.  I think my aunt will try to hunt some down which would be great.  

I went to the other store, got some pinata mix (it is even better now it has both strawberry, or banana, flavored bubble gum).  I took a nap with the cats.  

I have the house down at 74 degrees and I am not used to it this cold but it's only one day, so the candy doesn't melt.  Maybe there's a moral there, keep the house cold enough for chocolate not to melt (76 degrees is the magic number).  Of course I can't afford that but it doesn't matter I like things warmer anyway.  

The cats loved it and all congregated under the good vent in my bedroom, at the foot of my bed.  I took a nap.  

I got up and resolved to do up the Halloween candy.  I also needed to poison some fire ants in the yard so the kids don't get stung.  I had an open enrollment health insurance card that had been mailed as well.  

I got on the health insurance thing.  I've been with the company 2 and a half years it always says I don't qualify.  But today it did, so I signed up for pretty much everything, accident, vision, health, life, etc.  It was only $60 a paycheck not bad, I felt.  

I sent Dad a screenshot he has been very upset about me not having insurance.  I called my aunt and told her, she agreed Dad would be thrilled (he is!).  I got to work on the candy.  

From left to right: zip locks, (cardboard box has Scripture booklets), Snickers, pinata mix, empty tote bags.  Some unrelated tracts behind the blue tote bag.  I set up a chair in front of all this and bagged up 100 for the kids.  

I need to fix this: I had 4 candy bars I didn't pay for, so I need to go back tomorrow and do that.  Should be an interesting conversation.  

So I had enough candy bars for 100 bags for the kids and 3 for my drivers tomorrow.  That will be very popular.  I need 3 bus rides so it works out.  

Dad was thrilled when he got his screen shot of the summary of coverage.  I think I made his whole month. I got the $3K deductible plan.  

Then I put my disposable gloves on, went outside, and poisoned the fire ants.  They are right where the kids will be walking if I get any kids coming back.  

That's it for now, going to try for another nap.  

Oh, one, nine-pound bag of pinata mix is good for about 45 bags of candy.  I was glad I had the extra bag.  

Last night was brutal

 Horrible headache and stupid work drama my aunt referred to as: "Bizarre and Ridiculous" which summed it up nicely. 

I slept OK got up early, went to Krogers which no longer sells the Wowbutter.  Well, crap.  I stood there in front of the peanut butter display for a good couple minutes scratching my head; that was the whole reason I'd come.  I bought 2 sodas and left.  

I gave one soda to my next driver and he was happy to get it.  Poor things.  

I got to the store near my house and YES praise God they had the pinata mix.  I wanted 20 pounds, they had over 100 so everyone won.  No, I only bought the 2 bags.  I got a gallon of milk and some plain shredded wheat as well, some more ziplocks because I used up another box this week; each box holds 50.  

I was out at the bus stop waiting to come home and it was pretty warm.  There was a young black man at the bus stop but he was well dressed, had on wireless headphones, his hair was tidy.  You can learn a lot about a person looking at their hair.  If it is clean and trimmed I don't have anything to worry about; greasy and disheveled is another matter.  I told him to go first when the bus came so he did, I stood in the front (the store really is near my house and not a long ride).  I don't have an issue with braids or dreadlocks.  

It was a training route that had 4 drivers and the instructor was telling them how I'm the candy lady, see the candy in her cart?  She bags that up and hands that out with a little booklet or a Bible, the one lady's like what?  I gave her the treat bag.  

When I go to the grocery store I get a Snickers and a soda in addition to the candy bag.  So she looked and there it all was just like she'd been told.  She started drinking the soda and munching on the candy.  I got off at my stop.  

The young guy did a good job driving but could have gotten closer to the curb.  At any rate I told him "You're doing great!" and gave him a thumbs up as I rolled off down the sidewalk with my treasure.  

It was pretty warm and I had turned off my AC.  So I realized if I'm doing the candy up today (candy bar, candy, and booklet all in a baggie) I would need the house below 76.  Which meant I would need the AC.  Because chocolate melts at 76 and I am not handing out melted chocolate.  Tomorrow night it gets cold so I don't need to worry after that.  But those candy bars are coming out of the fridge today.  

I turned on the AC when I got home, after I put up the milk, and the house is freezing.  I like it more around 82-85 not 75.  But if I want it at 74, and I do, the AC does a mighty job of that.  Good system I need to get the name off the unit.  Good boy.  

So I'm going to line up everything on the bed and do an assembly line.  I've been doing this about 20 years now.  Bags, booklets, Snickers (full sized!), handful of pinata mix (I have 27 pounds which ought to do the job), zip it closed and put it in a tote bag.  I'm going to sit in a chair because I'm going to be at this for a while.  

I'm going to go get started.  

I think about a third of this is going to actual children and the other two thirds are going to bus drivers.  But the bus drivers are really excited about this.  

This headache is no joke

 I will be glad to go to bed.

I am able to work though.  I was tempted to take one of my blue pills (prescription headache) though.

I really don't feel well but I did eat and took my pills.  

I'll say it again I will be glad to go home.

Ar work

 Managed to catch the early bus.  I am out there the same time every day but they are often not.  But one freaked out homeless guy refusing to pay can take up a good 10-15 minutes, also some disabled are very slow getting on and off so it adds up.  But I got to work very early.

There is a vendor handing out protein drinks which look vile.  I took one for Ace as a joke.  I have been telling him I need to give him healthier treats.  We kid around some and I don't have to worry about a wife hunting me down and kicking my butt now.

Not looking for a man.  I have Jesus, Biscuit, and Spotty.  

I really only have 2 non-work concerns:  will the store have my pinata mix tomorrow, and will the kids vandalize my house on Halloween when I'm not there?

Head is a little better.  The fried lemon pie always helps!

Friday morning

 A couple things before I take my shower: yesterday when I logged in I went to check if I was "on the zone" cleaning up groceries for an hour before they take their pictures to send to corporate.  I was, my boss caught me and said very ominously "We need to talk later".  She always sounds like she's about to fire me.  

It was nothing of course but I hate when she does that.  

And I promised I would tell you about Spotty, and the tablet.  Spotty likes to climb on me when I'm doing my Bible study.  It is very cute.  He likes to rub his head against my hands, whatever is in my hands, books I am reading, the tablet, etc.  So he was putting the tablet in weird modes it wasn't working, shutting it down, etc.  

So I put the tablet (it has a padded case) in a gallon ziplock and putting it in my backpack, reading it at work.  It doesn't matter if he rubs up against the books after all.  

And he gets his scent all over me to drive the dogs nuts when I walk by their yards.  The dogs don't bark at anyone else walking by but they sure do with me.  

So last night they messed up, we are getting a visit today (from district/corporate), they did not schedule properly.  One woman who only speaks Spanish thought she had last night off and wouldn't come in even after they called her, so my friend had to do the work of 2 people.  They had a lot of people off who should have been working to get ready for the visit.  They had me with an impossible task and I am sure I will catch hell when I go in today but I did the best I could in the time I had, with the tools I had. 

So, yet again, not looking forward to going in. I do like the new vests though.  My friend got 2.  I don't know why she got herself 2 you can only wear one at a time.  

I have another headache that will not quit, today.  It is frustrating I am getting a lot lately.  

Shower time.  God Time.  Treat time.  

Unlike Ron, I don't give the cats a handful of treats; I give 2 or 3.  They are just as happy.  Fish is in the list of ingredients, albeit WAY down the list, so I am very careful with Biscuit.  It has been my experience male cats given fish protein diets end up with FLUTD.  Happened to 3 cats and I lost 2 of them.  Barely saved Biscuit.  Good thing I was "rich" at the time!  

I made a lunch to take today and my pills for dinner time at 7 PM.  I am asking God for a good day.  

I may need to do the lemon pie fix when I get to work, though.  

Lunch!

 It is getting crazy as we get close to Halloween.  Boss had the morning crew work some overtime.

My head is still bothering me but I can work.  I will be glad to clock out.

Dad is still in transit last I heard.  He said he should be home around 8 my time.

We got new vests today.  They are much more comfortable and have bigger pockets.  They are also a tad oversized which is comfy.  So they get a thumbs up from me.

Looking forward to going to bed tonight.

That's it for now.

Later on I will tell you about Spotty, my Bible study, and my tablet.

Made it to work

 This headache won't quit even though the rain started.  Pretty uneventful ride to work aside from a few homeless people bothering me.  I apparently look like a smoker who would like to share my cigarettes.  Even though all the smokers I've ever met my age have leathery skin.

I ate a big lunch which should hold me through my shift.  The last thing I want to do is shop which is probably the reason it will work best.

Hoping the Excedrin kicks in I feel moderately terrible.

Oh I do have some good news.  I did some more work on Broken (my serial love story).  It ended at chapter 47 and I've done a couple new chapters.  I will try to do a few chapters a week on my day off.  I have a lot of fun with it.

Not surprisingly I didn't have much faith in love the last few years but it's been waiting.

I still believe I won't remarry, too much baggage.  I will probably have a few friends who are men if that.

But Spotty got in my lap this morning even after I stepped on him.  If that isn't love what is?

I slept OK last night considering

 I had a decent ride home from work; two different drunk alcoholics at the bus stop one telling me how he cleaned it up after someone crapped all over.  Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.  The other one was the guy I saw yesterday, wearing the same clothes, drinking and smoking at the bus stop and trying to make conversation.  

If I was going to be interested in a man it would be the first bus driver who brings me home; he is very nice, a skilled driver, good at dealing with difficult customers, etc.  He is also about 15 years younger than me so I assume any interest from him is friendly only.  He was asking me a lot of questions (not typical) yesterday when he found out I would be "gone" for 11 days.  We agreed it would not be fair to a dog, to get a dog, with our work schedules. 

But to back up a little I had a horrible headache all morning.  I tried the fried lemon pie on my break and that eliminated it.  I have no idea why the fried lemon pie even works but it does.  I had to take a little Excedrin later but it helped tremendously.  

The mean boss was off so that was nice.  I just didn't feel up to dealing with her, with the headache.  The boss who was on duty is fair and reasonable.  

One employee had better watch her step, she is very slow and makes a lot of excuses, but the other employee whose work it affects is taking pictures and talking to management.  It has been my observation they let employees "run wild" to the untrained eye but they are watching.  

I think another employee is slipping out of work to go do booty calls with her boyfriend and a "coach" (assistant manager); management knows but has not decided to confront her yet.  But you can bet they are documenting.  

I assume they do that with me so I aim to give them a good day of work.  Every day.  

So my ride home was fine once I got on the bus and I did chat with the driver for a change.  The routes are changing (they call it "the bid") in about 5 weeks; all new drivers on my routes.  I don't even have to go looking for new drivers they come to me.  So if this guy wants to learn anything about me he had better find out now!  He loves chocolate so I will give him a chocolate bar the last day I see him.  

I came home and talked to my parents, then took a couple of magnesium pills, 2 valerian root capsules (good for sleep), and my usual evening pill lineup.  I slept great for me and only woke up a few times.  I slept from about 8-6 which I needed as I had 3 days in a row with only 5-6 hours of sleep.  

It's supposed to rain today but I'm going to try and make it on the bus.  Ace will get me an hour after work so I have time to do a little shopping.  

I have had the AC/heater off (do you know how hard it is for me type heater and not my name?) most of the month so I should have a pretty small bill on that.  But I will wait until I have the actual bill in my hand which will probably be a week and a half.  I paid off one credit card as well.  

I have been trying to find early voting so I can vote on the amendment to lower property tax but have not found a good spot yet.  

I decided to do some laundry this morning as it's going to rain later, I don't like to run my washer during thunderstorms.  I don't want to do laundry tomorrow morning and I need a pair of black jeans for Friday afternoon at work. 

That's it for now.  

Made it to lunch

 Had a migraine this morning at work that was not fun.  But the fried lemon pie did the trick.  

Difficult boss is not here today so that's a break.  Plenty of time left on my lunch so I'm enjoying it.

Taking the bus home - have to tell my buddy the driver he won't see me for 10 days.  Not that he cares I am sure!  LOL

Not sure what I am doing for dinner.

"Get in your hole!"

 Ron liked building kitty condos even after the accident.  He would go to Home Depot with a list of measurements, like four 18x36 inch boards.  He would select sheets of plywood and 2x4s and get them cut to his specs.  Pay and go home in a cab.  Put it all together 

Ron made one that was basically a giant cube, open on the bottom, shelves inside, and an opening on the top about 8 inches square.  Frosty loved to hide in it.

Ron would put his hand at the opening and wiggle his fingers.  Frosty would pounce, Ron would scream "AAH!" 

Then Ron would reach over to the hole, Frosty's head and front paw sticking out, say "Get in your hole!" And gently push Frosty back into the condo.  

I always found it hysterical and the memory makes me smile.  They are together again playing the same game, I'n sure.

Made it to work

 Had one early bus (missed it) and one late bus so I got to work half an hour later.  But I build in time for that and I can because I'm single.

I had a very nice cuddle with the boy cats this morning but all the dogs were furious when I went by.  I am sure they can smell the cats.

I think I figured out the one dog problem and if I'm right they fixed it.  I am still leery and still taking my big stick.  I am noticing homeless/alcoholic types aren't bothering me any more.

The drivers continue to enjoy their candy.  I got some new drivers today being later and they were thrilled.  

I did tell my one regular driver not to look for me next week.  I will tell my one home bus as well.

One route I get the same guy over and over but the next bus it's different drivers pretty much every time.

Tomorrow it looks like rain all day so I need to decide if I want a Uber, Ace, or Jack.  Or the bus.  It's hard to say today.

That's it for now.

Wednesday morning

 I had about 3 hours of sleep Monday night but I still managed to work OK yesterday.  I feel like the company got their money's worth.  

Dad is out of the hospital, they put him on a water pill.  I suspect he has congestive heart failure but he is in good spirits now.   My grandmother had a good day yesterday, got up, ate a good meal, etc. So who knows how long it will be for her. Dad is going back home Thursday.  By himself.  

I am not crazy about that but it is not my call and he is in much better shape than he was a week ago.  He did say he would keep his phone in the pocket at all times. His doctor also wants him to track sodium intake so I told them about Carb Manager. They have a really good foods database so I think that would be best.  

The cats are good, Cleo was in the bed when I got up. Tomorrow I don't work until 2 PM so that will be nice.  I talked to Ace and arranged all my rides for the next week so that's set.  That is nice not to have to worry about rides. 

I just need to get the cash to pay for them!  

Yesterday there was an obese white man at the bus stop when I left work.  He had a huge belly, unusual in the homeless, and very clean clothes so I don't think he was homeless.  Anyway he's sitting at the bus stop drinking out of a flask, quickly, like Ron would.  He left when he saw me watching him.  

WHAT is the appeal of getting drunk at a bus stop?  Even Ron didn't do that. He was always embarrassed for someone to see him impaired so he drank at home.  But these alcoholics get drunk at the bus stop, worse manners than an animal; human waste and urine everywhere...it makes it very unpleasant to ride the bus.  

I'm not hating because God has me on a mission handing out material to my drivers, but if I didn't have that I would be very bitter and hateful.  I was watching him yesterday (Metro did clean the bus stop but you couldn't pay me to walk in there or sit on the bench!) thinking "My feet hurt after a long day at work and I can't even sit down because of people like you"  

It is sad. 

Monday night I got 3 hours of sleep like I said, I also vomited in the shower.  I think it was the tea on an empty stomach.  At any rate once I finished I finished my shower and went to work anyway - I bought some Belvita Biscuits when I did get there and nibbled on those. Because I have a job to do and they are counting on me.  

I think some pride is good in this case.  I was told at age 17 I wouldn't be able to live on my own and support myself; I have exceeded that.  

I am really glad Dad is doing better I was worried about him.  I know I won't have him forever and I've said pretty much everything I would need to say.  I just want him to have a good quality of life however long he has left.  

That's it for now.  

Up to 5 liters

 Taken off of Dad.  That's a lot!

I thought this was funny: my boss likes me to report when I take a break or lunch.  I get why even though I never go over.  And she's checked.

So I called today and told her Im going to lunch.  Nothing.  I said hello a few times and hung up.  She called me back, SMOKING mad I "hung up on her".  

I didn't but...anyway she will have some time to get over it.  

Only 2 hours to go when I get back.

That's it for now.  

No news is good news

 I guess.  I am sure they are very busy right now.

Talked to my aunt she said humid weather can bother people with heart trouble which I found interesting.  

I have a mild headache debating taking something.

And Ace just got back to me he can do all my trips.  Good!  

Dad is feeling better

 I am still worried about him but not "imminent".  #6 had some kid out back kicking a soccer ball into the fence for hours, well past 10.

Long term readers know it doesn't work to ask them to stop; instead it seems to feed even worse behavior.  No, I did not make a lot of noise when I got up at 2.  And it wasn't worth a call to the police.  It was inconsiderate nothing more.

I hope we don't get a repeat tonight.  I get little enough sleep as it is.

I bought a six pack of Dew at work.  Waiting to start.  That's it for now.

The one driver was happy to see me

 We chatted a little about the bus stop, which had been cleaned.  You would never guess what happened if you looked at it but that whole bus stop is dead to me now.  I will keep using it because it's "before" the work stop and I get a better seat if I use it.  

It looks like I will not be getting off early on Halloween.  I don't think they want to make the effort to tweak the schedule.  I know they can because the one manager changed it one day I was supposed to work, from 1-5 to 10-2 and made me "late" for the first time ever.  I wish they would just be honest and say they don't want to.  

Everyone is saying not to tell the kids I had to work just leave a note "come back after 8:30" so we will see.  That's it for now.  

I think it's OK to post again

 Last night when I called Mom and Dad, Dad says 'I'm OK but..." 

He was in the hospital, still is, with complications of his heart trouble.  After I went to bed I left the phone on of course and got put on a group text (which I am grateful for) but that went back and forth for a while.  My neighbor's kid also decided to kick the soccer ball around the yard for hours up to about 10 PM and I had to get up at 2.  

So I'm pretty dead and I'm thinking only God's going to get me through this work day because I have nothing left. 

I am not really worried about Dad, he said they had planned to discharge him today.  I am worried he wants to fly cross country back home on Thursday, by himself.  I think that sounds like a terrible idea but it's not my call.  I will feel much better when I get a text he has landed.  

My grandmother does not have much time left, and her primary caregiver (the family pays her) is in the hospital with some variation of caregiver burnout, I'd imagine.  I feel really bad for Mom with all this on her plate - it's a lot!  

Yesterday my boss kept acting like "What's wrong with you, stupid?" and that was on a better sleep and no worry so I can only imagine how today will go.  I will explain when I see her though.  

I need to go.  

Work is not going well

 I didn't sleep well and it shows.  Boss: pick pick pick.  Basically called me stupid.  I was dying to tell her I have brain damage but I worry she would fire me.

So that sucks.  And after work I have a 2 hour ride home.  I am curious if the one driver missed me.  I will see.  I only get him a few days this week because they changed my schedule for next week.

We will see.

I took the stick with me.  The transit center reeked of urine but no one gave me a hard time.  I just hate the filth.  The people and what they do to what's supposed to be a nice place.  They have to ruin everything.  

Hopefully the rain washed it clean.  We will see; I say that a lot.

First secret post

 Today was pretty quiet: I cleaned the bathroom, trying to find a good soap scum remedy for the bathroom. I also got the bathroom sink which was REALLY bugging me.  It's a white sink so it shows everything.  

I also did some laundry, swept the floor, took out lots of trash, cleaned the litter box, etc.  After I finish this I will clean the fridge.  I have some chicken leg quarters in there thawing for Chicken in Red Wine sauce.  

I am making a big recipe: 

6 chicken leg quarters

3/4 t each salt and pepper 

3/4 cup each red wine, chicken stock

6 peeled garlic cloves 

3 large handfuls frozen chopped onions

Use a large crock pot and crock pot liner.  

Cook overnight or several hours minimum.  Remove skin and bones before serving.  

The cats are good.  I talked to my Dad for the first time in a few days he is OK, just tired of death watch for his Mother in Law.  I talked to my aunt, she is busy but good.  

That's it for now.  

I listen to my gut

 Last night work was actually fine, I ate a glazed donut off the free rack at work in the break room and thanked the store manager for the idea.  

My team leads (2 of them) had me on special projects all night and seemed happy with my work.  Work was pretty uneventful.  

After work, I did a quick 10 minute shop and got exciting things like milk, carrot juice, and a TV dinner.  I like the tikka masala ones.  

Ace got me.  

On the way home, I had someone calling very aggressively on a blocked number, again and again, well after 9 PM.  I kept rejecting it but even Ace was like, "What the hell?"  

I don't know if my stalker got my phone number or what.  I did some research.  I will say I am a very intuitive, ENFP personality type so I listen to my gut; and my gut is SCREAMING BAD NEWS.  

I did some research on cyber stalking as I believe this is the person who tried to cause harm back in 2020.  

Everything says cut off all contact with the stalker; unfortunately that means the blog.  So I will be changing the blog to "private".  

When I feel better about this I will make it public again.  I have also changed phone settings so only a couple dozen people get through.  No blocked calls, no anonymous, no drama.  

Hopefully this will do it.  

I think what I'll do leave this post up for a week, kill off comments again, and then take it private.  Anyone who's a regular reader will come visit in a week's time and see this, also I know some groups discuss the blog on their message boards.  

That's it for a while!  

Friday at work

 So all the bosses had me working on special projects for them today.  Nothing else said acted the same too.

I don't get it.

On my lunch.

That's it for now.

She never talked to me?

 One of the other leads had me on a project for a while and I'm on my break a little after 2 hours.  

(Shrug)

Management has donuts in the breakroom

 Also some fresh fruit.  Interesting.

Waiting to clock in and see what The Big Deal is about.  I am not too worried.

I do wish the one boss had different days off than me.  She is a lot to deal with every day.

She has been working hours past her usual time to go home so I had her most of last night, too.

We will see.

I thought this was funny

 So I got home last night, I'm tired, but I check the mail because, as far as I know, there's some jerk out there with the master key to my mailbox.  

I take it out there are a few spam things and a letter from the HOA.  The HOA letter is thin, like the Deed Restriction letters I get on occasion, just one page in the envelope.  Oh, crap.  I can't afford a big repair and one of those letters generally sets me back about $500 a shot.  

I stood there in front of the mailbox looking at the letter.  It just had my name and address, and theirs.  I prayed over it and said "God you know I can't afford a big repair right now, can you please help?  Make it cheap?"  Also I couldn't figure out what they might object to unless it was the door wrap.  

I opened it.  ANNUAL ELECTION here is your pin number if you want to vote online!  Is THAT all?  Thank you, Lord.  

I was laughing about it; God is a lot bigger than my problems and I forget that at times. 

Interesting note, the letters used to say "Annual Election" or "Deed Restriction Violation" on the front of the envelope.  

I stayed up for an hour in case my parents wanted to talk but they didn't, so I sent them a text and went to bed, slept pretty well considering.  About the same as usual although I did wake up 2 hours after I went to bed which is new.  

Got up, did the shower and God time "God will fight my battles" good to know, stuck a Scripture booklet in my pocket - I was looking for it at lunch last night.  So I'm glad I have that.  I also did up some candy.  

I ordered a 4 foot walking stick last night from Amazon and will carry that when I ride the bus.  I think it will be a useful deterrent for wildlife and bad guys.  It had good reviews a lot of people who bought it said it looked really good for self defense. 

Good.  At some point I want to get some martial arts training, how to fall, how to protect myself.  There are whole schools of combat using a walking stick.  I will save up and look into that.  The world is just getting worse, you know, and I travel though some bad areas.  

Interestingly enough the gang and drug infested corner Ron and I worked (Bible handouts) in Acres homes is fine now.  Has a storefront church and everything which I thought was wonderful.  I just need to be diligent in praying for their spiritual growth and protection.  

That's it for now!  

I guess I answered my question about the iron pills

 I am running out of multi vitamins.  When I buy more I have a choice between women's with iron and senior over 50 (no iron).  

I started my cycle today so I guess it is the ones with iron.  

 Well I made it to lunch.  Boss who wants to talk to me will tomorrow she said, and she doesn't seem mad.  Even said thank you at one point.  

I don't know it is probably small but the fact she wants another person is concerning to me.  

But I'm not losing sleep tonight. 

Other than this work has been fine.  I won't tell Dad because they have enough on their plate with my dying grandmother.  He always gets angry on my behalf and says stuff like I'm the best employee they have, etc.

That's it for now.

Ugh I hate drama

 Boss wants to talk to me.  Other boss was kidding around with me a couple of times since so I am not getting an ulcer over this.

I think she is annoyed the one manager is keeping me late on the grocery zone.  If so she needs to tell him.  I wont say that.

But I am not going to let myself freak over this.

Jack found me on my way to work

 And told me they saw a pack of dogs running wild that had killed a possum.  He asked me if I wanted a ride and said yes.

His brother was in the car so I sat in the back.  We went to the store.  I got there about 3 hours before starting time.  

But I didn't get mauled, either.  By the way he is coming to get me at 9.  

He saw it as an amazing coincidence but I see it more as a Divine Hand.  But I didn't get mauled, that's the important thing.

I am hanging out in the breakroom.  

That's it for now.  

Thursday morning

 So work was OK.  

When I left and got out to the bus stop I realized, to my horror, someone had, shall we say, turned it into a litter box.  It was a gigantic mess all over the place and I was nauseated to realize I was actually standing in it.  And it was the worst mess you could make.  

A woman came by to wait and said "Oh it's still there, it was there yesterday, watch your step"  TOO LATE!  I didn't tell her that.  

I am used to people urinating at bus stops but this latest is a new low.  Someone had bought some bleach and sloshed it around but didn't scrub so the mess was still there.  

I took my shoes off on the porch and went in the house in sock feet, got the bathroom cleaner (kills-germs variety) and sprayed the shoes down.  A couple of hours later I hit the shoes with the Method Anti-Bacterial spray cleaner.  

I don't know what it is with the toilet issues at the bus stops lately.  It is very bad.  

But last night was great as I got home around 4:15 (off at 2 but some traffic), talked to my parents, went to bed early, woke up at 6 (for good).  Plenty of time before I go to work and it's light out.  

My stun gun is broken, one of the prongs broke off.  I am debating buying another one will it have the same problem?  I have something else I carry do I need the stun gun too?  Is just pepper spray enough?  I need to figure that out.   

I decided to bring my pepper spray and personal alarm.  That should suffice.  I can't use the pepper spray on the bus, though, but it is more likely I will have a problem at a bus stop. 

That's it for now.  

On break

 Not a bad day.  Going to give my number to a female coworker I think that will help her. 

Supposed to be nice when I get off but I'm still wearing my sweater.  

That's it for now.

Some drama coming to work

 One bus was early, 2 were late, one being a training route.  Got to work later than I like but still early.

One boss is working to fix my schedule for Halloween.  I hope that sticks.

Took a look at my budget and have more than I thought.  That was nice.

We will see how today goes.  One of my work buddies says she works today.  There is a language barrier but she is a hard worker and very sweet.

That's it for now.

I slept OK

 For me.  I had a sweet little calico lump in my bed all night.  She is so precious.  

I was very proud of her, when I was out of town she actually came out for Sara.  Biscuit hid all week but she and Spotty came out.  She is very food motivated.  She's a wonderful little cat and perfect for me.  

I didn't see the boys.  But it wasn't that cold.  The cold nights are when I find everyone in my bed.  During the days of Mama Cat and the brown tabby girls I actually had 5 cats in my bed every night.  That was pretty awesome but hard to get up and go to the bathroom!  

Baby Girl always slept with Ron until the Alzheimer's was bad, then Torbie took over.  It never bothered Torbie.  Baby Girl was quite upset at his decline (as was I!). 

I need to take my shower.  Did that, did the Bible study and did up some candy (12).  

But - one of the prongs broke off my stun gun.  So I will need to get a new one.  

Other than that a good morning so far.  

That's it for now.  

Enough is enough

 So I had a pretty uneventful ride to work but I sure didn't sit on any bus benches.  I will for the sake of illustration say I take the X and the Y buses, and rarely the Z and a few others.  I mainly utilize the others if I see them at the transit center I will jump on, say 'I'm not riding" fling a candy bag at them, jump off as they gape in shock.  So they could all be the same route as far as I'm concerned even though it's several.  

So I got to work and work was fine.  The one manager was really bummed I wasn't "on the zone" again at 2 PM but I reminded him I will be "back" Thursday, Friday, and regular schedule from next week onward.  He keeps "forgetting".  I think it's cute?  Maybe I am really good at it?  Not sure but I left at 2.  

And there was a wreck where I normally cross, I mean it had already happened.  I was actually relieved because I thought the light was out when I saw the traffic and I would have been screwed.  I crossed.  

Yesterday there were 2 homeless people at "my" stop across from work and they were there again today very animated.  I guess they saw it.  I didn't want to deal with them to I turned away and was confronted with a naked man, clad only in a gaping hospital gown, passed out on the sidewalk going to the other bus stop.  I had to step over him. I was Not Happy.  

There were a couple of kids at the second bus stop they were very profane but harmless.  I got to the transit center and got off, and this guy is laying on the bus bench that has the feces problem.  It hit me: YOU'RE THE ONE CRAPPING ON THE BENCH.  And he starts yelling "Hey gimme candy".  

He is not mentally challenged just a butthead.  The first time he asked for candy I gave him a bag, he put it in his backpack, asked for another one "for my brother" and ate both bags on the bus going to the social services office.  So he's a liar.  The second time he got in my face as I was trying to get on the bus, demanding candy, I gave him one just to get rid of him.  Big mistake.  

BUT I HAD ENOUGH.  I am DONE with giving candy to homeless people.  They don't read the material they just want the sugar buzz. So I said NO THIS IS ONLY FOR DRIVERS.  He started complaining and shouting "Hey" at me again but I walked off.  He didn't follow me.  

I got to my bus shelter at the transit center (different route) and the bus pulls up.  It is the "wrong" bus but he is being nice because his client can barely walk and she wants the "Y" bus stop.   I jump on and say "A homeless guy wants your candy" and gave it to him. He laughed and lo and behold, out of nowhere ANOTHER homeless guy gets on the bus (I was off by this point) and talks to the driver for a couple minutes in a low voice, then gets off and says "That's not the Y Bus" which I already knew. But he didn't bother me.  

The bus sign has the number for Metro Police so I put that in my phone book and then my bus came.  I got on, gave her the last bag of candy, and asked if Metro Police will deal with a "homeless at the bus stop" problem.  She thought about it and said yes. 

She said, in fact, they just had training on a "Code 28".  They are supposed to type in #28 if they see a homeless person living at a bus stop so the police can roust them (she didn't use the word roust). Good.  Nice people don't want to ride the bus if they have to deal with filth, drunks, nudity, etc.  

I swear, my part of town is just INFESTED lately.  

On a positive note, there was a white guy on the X bus reading a Bible, 1 Corinthians to be exact, he was very intent so I didn't bother him.  

I had a nice nap when I got home, with Spotty.  He's a good boy.  

That's it for now.  

Tired, tired, tired

 It was also cold today, too.  Drinking coffee hoping it will help.  But I only work 5 hours today so it's not too awful.

Handed out about half my material so far. Homeless person sleeping on the ground outside did not get one.  I worry they will see me as a mark: kind of like the guy at the transit center.  Guy walked up and asked him for a dollar which was given.  Then he asked for a $20 which was not.  He reacted by shooting the sponsor in the face.  

*These people aren't right in the head*.  Which is why I try not to engage.

They changed up the soda fridges at work and the Dr Pepper is back.  I actually missed it.

That's it for now.  

Tuesday morning; or, I have to remember to take out the trash tonight

 My parents want me to call at 6 which is a little bit of a problem when I have to get up at 2. So I am always a little sleep deprived but I would never tell them.  That's not the problem getting up.  

The problem is having 2 soft, fat, kitties in the bed on top of me.  It is very hard to ask them to move (they move happily it is just getting up the will to end the cuddle) early in the morning especially when the blankets are heavy and warm and we are all so cozy. 

Not easy at all! The house is colder than I like but I don't want all my take-home pay going to the gas bill.  

I did wake up with a pretty nasty headache around 12:30 so I may need to take something again at 4:30. I have a fair amount of candy left over from yesterday but I will be doing more with my new tracts "Why Does God Allow Trouble"and "Religion: No Ticket to Heaven".  Pretty self explanatory.  I like to change up the tracts as I do get the same people often.  

I had a thought while making my breakfast shake: I am going to call Metro (bus) police department.  Yes our bus system is so large we have our own police force.  The guy is at a bus stop which is their property.  He makes THEM look bad; I'm sure they'd come.  I just need to get the bus stop number.  

Why do I care so much?  It's not really a NIMBY thing although I don't want the trash and the feces that seem to come with... it's the safety am I going to get raped, followed home and home invasion, etc.  

And I have seen enough of the homeless I don't feel sorry for them; many do and enable them, that's their right.  But I have a right to safety at my home base bus stop.  I don't expect safety at my other stops but I do this one.  

I did 13 items today a couple of New Testaments and the rest tracts.  I was surprised how busy it was on the 2:30 bus, I thought the 4:30 was bad - they need to run that route more often!  

That's it for now.  I'll post when I get to work.  

Yes I did and I'm not sorry

 The homeless guy got on my second bus to come home and followed me off, sat at the bus stop, so I called the non emergency police number and they said they would send someone out to move him along.  

That should do it.  

Taking a nap now.  

Got to work

 Got the early bus it just lined up that way.  Falling asleep on the bus; besides I had budgeted for a coffee this morning.  So I got one and it was good.  I handed out candy to the drivers and I think one other person.  

When I got to work I washed my hands and sprayed myself and my bag with Lysol.  I did not get anywhere near that filthy bus bench either.  Happily the bus was already there and she had the door open.  Not all drivers do that; they make you wait until the moment of departure.

Drowsy on the bus; I only had 100 mg caffeine this morning so I will need to up that.  I have a coffee maker and some ground coffee; I will try that tomorrow.

The weird guy who works nights (and comes in 3 hours early every day) took his time leaving today.  He kept yawning loudly and making "little comments" designed to get me asking questions.  Probably my vote for most likely to shoot the place up if he got fired.  

Onto a more positive note, I brought 15 bags of candy today.  I think I have 11 left.  A family member suggested I do up a bag of candy for my team lead like I will for Halloween, explain why I want to get off early.  Just an hour and a half..we will see.  At any rate I did 2 bags like that because I tend to have more than one Team Lead.  If you pray I could use one for that request.  I want it for The Lord's Work (won't say that!  LOL) not my own desires.  Whatever He wills.  

I will say I'm going to have some VERY happy drivers if I can't do Halloween.  (Grin)

That's it for now.

I was warm enough in bed

 But the house was 72 when I got up so I flipped the thermostat to "heat".  I have it set at 75 which I think is fair.  If I had my preference it would be 80 - I like it warm, but I work at Walmart.  It ran for a few minutes and stopped and it is warmer.  

Usually the heater has a horrible burnt dust smell for a few times but not really this time.  

I woke up a few times, again, but I had Cleo in bed with me so that was very nice.  I'm sure the cats will enjoy The Return Of The Heater.  Of course this means my gas bill will go up...but I have to take a shower in a few minutes and I don't want to be miserable when I get out.  

I only work 5 hours today I will spend almost as much time on the bus as I will working.  The real work of course happens during the commute.  

I had both boys on me (Spotty likes my chest and Biscuit gets the lap) during my God Time that was fun petting them, warm fur, purring.  I put a blanket on me because they do have claws.  

I need to do up my candy.  

That's all done.  I did 15 because I will have new drivers coming home and I hate to miss a shot.  Several New Testaments included.  I only have the abbreviated hours this week.  

That's it for now; God willing I will get a good nap when I get home tonight.  

Yes it's from "Hookers for Jesus"

 

Cleaning the bathroom

 Years ago, in 2012, my bathroom was in big trouble.  I had a window in the shower and the ledge was falling in.  Ron and I were broke.  God provided a very nice man who rehabbed it and made it very nice with big subway tiles and a nice unfinished tile mosaic about halfway up.  But you can't use most bathroom cleaners on unfinished stone.  

Plus depression - cleaning is the last thing I want to do I am good to get the litter box and the laundry.  And I am ashamed to say sometimes my cats had a substandard box.  

I bought some cleaners last week and tried them out on a small part of the tile and it was OK so I have been using them today.  I got the walls now I am getting the top of the tub part.  

I have a small granite window ledge (recycled which I think is really cool).  How do you clean granite?  How the hell do I know?  I do know all the cleaners say DON'T USE ON GRANITE.  Some websites say "Use bleach!"  "No bleach!"  "Use vinegar!"  "No vinegar".  Got some granite cleaner then got it home "Preclean stained areas before using" WITH WHAT?!  FOR THE LOVE OF SOAP AND WATER....

But it does look a lot better granite is about 75% improved.  Walls look much better and the top of the tub the little shelves I don't know what you call them, look much improved.  I also got some daily shower cleaner.  

I had some from Method which worked well but I had an issue with Biscuit licking the tiles and it has menthol and eucalyptus which are toxic to cats.  If he takes one sniff of this he won't touch it.  I plan to use the Method for cleaning fixtures it is fantastic for that.  

But I am calling it done for today.  I also washed my coat and jacket it looks to be coat weather (for me) this week.  I will be out there at 5:30 AM I will want something cozy.  I did manage to pick up a hoodie and a jacket/coat in white so that makes me easier to see at the bus stop.  

But once the driver gets used to the route they start to look for you, too.  They change the drivers every 6 months so I will be getting new ones in a couple of months but until then they do know to look.  

The other day, in the rain, I forgot my flashlight which I also use to signal the driver.  But they saw me and stopped anyway.  Thank God.  

I can't imagine anything worse than getting passed up in the rain, unless it was also cold.  Which is why I am saving my Uber cards for a really bad day.  

We get these nasty cold fronts that come in, bringing rain, so I am soaked and then it is freezing.  They are really awful.  Last year I had an utterly MISERABLE ride to work in a so-called "waterproof" coat from Amazon that got wetter than a sponge.  It was freezing cold and very windy.  I was just utterly miserable.  

If that happens again I am getting a ride.  

Hopefully it won't.  

Anyway that's it for now.  

Sunday morning

 I slept OK (for me) last night.  I don't think I'm ever going to sleep through the night again.   I just wake up a couple times.  

I was sitting in my computer chair which is in the front room and Biscuit used his litter box, which is nearby.  I have 2 litter boxes in the front room, near my chair and under the window.  One has crystal litter, he likes to pee in there.  I like that he does that because I can actually look at the urine.  It's not pretty litter this is just plain old crystal litter.  Second box has traditional clumping litter and he likes to poop in there.  

He dug a hole in the crystal litter box, peed, covered it up, dug a hole in the clumping litter box, pooped, covered it up.  Saying the people act like animals at the bus stop is an insult to the animal.  Biscuit has very good manners and I thanked him for it.  The other cats are good as well.  

I decided not to attend church this morning, I will listen to a podcast or something later. The bus ride and all the walking really adds up...

I am doing laundry.  I wear a white hoodie or jacket to the bus stop when it's chilly and I feel a white jacket needs to be washed at least once a week as they get dirty very easily.  So I'm doing that, I have a regular "hoodie" type in a very light beige I have been using and a cream polar fleece type jacket I bought at work last year.  I will need to wear the polar fleece tomorrow it will be in the 50's.  So I am washing the 2 jackets together and will (unusual for me) dry them with a dryer sheet to make them a little softer.  

I can have skin irritation issues with laundry additives so I am careful.  But these are jackets; only my arms will touch and it's generally my back that gets irritated.  

Now I am really done with Next Door.  Let me give some back story.  When we were looking for a house we had unusual criteria: had to be on a bus line, in the Metrolift service area.  Close to work.  Ron added one: I want to be near a Starbucks.  So we found a house that met all that.  

Originally we had wanted 2 bathrooms but settled for one and now it's just me so that's fine.  

(more backstory: Houston has an abundance of low-cost stay a night or week motels.  They provide housing for the homeless but don't have any amenities.).  One of these motels was near the Starbucks and, over years, the homeless overran the store hanging out, begging for money, using (and messing up) the bathroom to the extent they locked the bathrooms and required you to ask the barista for a key.  I had an unpleasant encounter one day with a guy who knew I was an evangelist.  He was a one legged white guy in a wheelchair, an alcoholic if the smell was anything to go by.  He rolled up to me as I was sitting at a table, his leg was bleeding.  I was wearing shorts and he made like he was going to rub the bloody leg all over mine.  I told him to stop and he held out his hand.  

I just so happened (ha ha) to have a New Testament in my bag so I put that in his hand.  He jumped like it bit him, threw it back at me, and took off.  He never bothered me again but that's the kind of experience the Starbucks customer had over there.  I never felt sorry for him because there's Ron, stroke, TBI, half paralyzed, wheelchair user most of the time, blind, hard of hearing, etc. And he got up and went to work today; even with a drinking problem he was functional for work so what's YOUR excuse?  I am pretty harsh.  

So I stopped going.  So did everyone else and they closed it.  They are reopening now down about half a mile away.  Someone was asking what it would be and I said a Starbucks, but it's going to get overrun by the homeless like it did last time.  I posted the comment and Next Door freaked out scolding me about being harsh to "unhoused neighbors" and how they didn't tolerate..blah blah.  

Go to hell.  Let's see you deal with people walking around in their own feces getting in your face, feces all over the bus bench after you have had a long day at work on your feet and all you want to do is sit down, an endless parade of drunks hassling you for money, the stench from people who have shower access but refuse to use it, endless parade of dirty bags full of useless crap rubbing against you and your stuff on the bus, hitting you in the head as they stagger down the aisle, etc.  

I am ALLOWED to use the word "homeless" to describe them.  One family member (boomer generation) used the word "Bums".  I am not using that.  I am not calling them "winos" either even though they are all unilaterally alcoholics.  I think "Homeless" is fair, even though, in Houston, most of them ARE housed at taxpayer expense.  They just go out and beg everyday so they can keep up their bad habits.  "Beggars?" maybe?  Because most of them talk about having an apartment we have agencies make sure of that... 

Anyway I hate that woke crap.  It is bad enough I have to tiptoe at work being "inclusive" (which is rather strangling for an evangelist), my personal life I would like to have some liberty to be me.  

Everyone is made in God's image.  Yet all of us have a sin nature that will send us to hell.  My job is to warn and encourage.  Let me do that.  I will hand you a tract in a bag of candy.  It may also have a New Testament or a Bible Promise book.  You can give it back, or refuse it.  It's my job to offer it.  You can take it and throw away the material and just eat the candy.  You can take the bag and give it to someone else.  You can eat it and enjoy the material.  It's all up to YOU.  But I'm going to offer it because I feel that's my job.  

And I do get people who say no, I accept that graciously, smile, put it back in my bag (I have an ongoing search for good shoulder bags that can hold a quantity of candy and a water bottle).  

God did teach me a lesson on that and I have shared this before: I was at a bus stop at a very busy intersection.  There were 2 JW's there with a stack of "literature".  They came over to me sitting at the bus stop (I look approachable which I think at times is a curse), offered something.  I said no thank you and kept looking down the road.  One woman kept coming back pestering me and getting a progressive attitude.  I finally shouted "I SAID NO" and they left me alone, about that time the bus came. 

God used that to show me how I needed to act: on the first refusal, accept graciously, smile, move on.  And I have found on Bible Handouts sometimes that actually changed their minds and they would wave me back for a Bible, after all.  

Another side note: nearly everyone who laughs at me on a Bible Handout has changed their mind and wanted a Bible when I just laughed with them. I actually reach in my bag when they laugh because I know it's coming.  

Another time I was on a median used by beggars for panhandling.  It was full of trash and really disgusting.  I went down the line of cars and no one wanted anything.  I have a pretty high tolerance for clutter but it was bad so I got a plastic bag out of my stuff and started picking up trash.  And one guy yelled "Hey!" I looked up and he waved me over for a Bible, because I was the kind of person committed to making things better.  

My life ought to be a good witness.  I pray it is, I'm going to fail now and then but I'll repent and move on.  

I need to figure out my breakfast... that's it for now.  

Saturday night

 I wanted to do something cleaning wise so I got the kitchen table, which was, I felt, the "worst" area in the house.  I also put my stuff in one of my "new" purses and hung it on the door.  The plan is purse rides in the backpack with my Bible.  Bible and purse come out at church, backpack gets stowed at the desk.  

I also did up my pills; had an exciting moment when it looked like I was out of one of them, but I found the bottle.  I got all the pills off the kitchen table except for my pills of the week organizer and the Vitamin C, and ginger root, which I take as needed.  It looks much, much, better.  

My schedule gets weird so I wrote all that down in a notebook where I can see it easily, then I sent photos of the schedule to Mom and my aunt, I think my aunt.  

I found a tube of Voltaren so I need to find that a home.  If my aunt doesn't want it I have an older co worker who might.  

I did talk briefly to my parents they are very busy with hospice for my grandmother, who felt well enough to visit with them for hours today.  They are all (some other family as well) trying to enjoy what time they had left.  

I am glad I did not know Ron was dying that would have been very hard for both of us.  I am glad it happened the way it did; we got to say goodbye (I don't believe he knew he was about to die), I had closure knowing the last thing I said to him was "I love yoi, bye" 

I got up at 6 AM today and I am TIRED. That headache (why always on my day off?!) wiped me out.  

That's it for now.  

My head is killing me

 I think it's the cold front coming in; I didn't eat anything different. 

I had planned to do some house cleaning I am hoping maybe I can after the Excedrin kicks in.  

I need to make a list of what needs to happen.  

I can't organize my socks and underwear drawer I have this: 

The bed is fine but I couldn't make it anyway because I have this: 

At least the laundry is almost done.  

And where is Biscuit?  

That's not a flattering angle for his belly!  

Well the trip to the grocery store was nice

 I will start off positive.  Years ago I read a book "Contact, the first 4 minutes" that said always start off the first 4 minutes of a conversation with positive talk because it sets the whole tone for the day.  

So I will do that with you.  I saw a sweet old lady in line for the food bank and I felt good about her (I didn't go it was all people in cars, I'm proud, and I would feel weird getting free food and dropping $20 on candy to hand out like I planned).  When I did get to the grocery store the cashiers were really excited for the candy and one of them said "Oh, what's this?" when I handed him the candy and then "Oh, I've heard about you" which I thought was fun.  

I stayed under budget, very happy about that.  

I came home and he was there.  

Yesterday there was a man at the bus stop.  I had some red flags go up.  He was decently dressed, reasonably clean, didn't stink.  But he had a shaved head with hair growing back in a sloppy manner and a lot of stubble on his face.  He had an unusually full, heavy, backpack and seemed to be entrenched at the bus stop.  He saw me watching him and made a "business call" on a cell phone which I found very odd (I don't think he was talking to anyone).  I continued to watch him and he got up and left, putting on his backpack and walking very quickly and strongly off over the horizon.  Very strange.  

Today he was at the bus stop. I was coming home, he kept trying to wave off the bus (so he's not a rider!) and acted annoyed when she stopped and opened the door, then he saw me getting off and his face fell because he knew I realized he was homeless and trying to move in to my bus stop. 

Did I mention I am territorial?  I am not happy about this development.  

Well I made it

 I seem to be saying that a lot, lately. 

I finished my night, and did a little shopping.  I needed whey protein; it was on the bottom shelf and way down in the back.  I had to squat down very far and lean forward but the other whey was $4 more.  I got what I wanted, though. 

I got some mixed greens and also some celery, that, with my carrot juice, will set me up for veggies.  I have some pumpkin puree around here somewhere, I like that heated up with a little pumpkin pie spice.  

I did have one issue.  I like to get Ace the "Symphony Giant" candy bar, they were completely out.  So I got a giant Hershey Almond and he looked pretty excited when I gave it to him.  He doesn't watch his figure (grin) so I can do things like that.  Healthy eaters are not a lot of fun to spoil.  "Here, have a banana".  

So I got home put my stuff up went to bed.  I slept OK but woke up a couple times which I am getting used to, including good old 2 AM which makes sense when you figure I have to get up at 2 Monday to Wednesday.  

I got up and started some laundry.  Yesterday was bad enough I went ahead and used my laundry sanitizer.  

Ick alert: ***

I sat on the bench which was clear to me and someone was sitting to my left, got up and there were dried feces all over the bench under them.  They were dry so I don't think "that" person did it.  But they didn't pay attention where they sat down; which of course made me paranoid about where I sat down.  

People just love to defecate on this bench because, I think, it is a little more secluded at night and significantly darker than the other bus benches at the transit center.  I have seen it "messed up" on at least 3 occasions.  It's pretty awful.  I stand a lot already so I like to sit when I can but I may have to rethink this.  ****

So I checked my schedule.  I was hoping I might be off early on Halloween but they have me working until 8.  That is a problem because all the kids come between 7-8:30.  I thought about it for a while and decided I will throw myself on the mercy of a team lead, remind her I have worked for the company 2.5 years and never, ever, asked them to adjust my schedule but I would like to get off at 6:30 if at all possible on Halloween.  I think that is reasonable.  If required, I will explain I am doing evangelism and this is an important night for me.  Worst case I will put up a note for the kids: come back after 8:30. It's a shame though I decorated and everything.  

They have me working some odd hours that week.  But I start at 11 most days so I get to sleep in. 

I have the jeans on soak with the sanitizer right now and then I will run them as a regular load with detergent.  I will probably run to the grocery store after that.  I just plan to get candy, carrot juice, and a gallon of milk.  I will be taking my cart for that, I would hate to lug a gallon of milk home on the bus.  

That's it for now.  

Almost there!

 Looking forward to going home.

It's just been an odd day.  I know one male employee likes me he had made that pretty obvious.

I think someone else is a little fond of me but it would never work and I have taken my focus off dating.  But he did go out of his way to talk to me tonight.  I am fond of him too but many many reasons it would not work main reason being he isn't saved.

Not another Beau but I do find it interesting.  But tonight I mainly told my friends about Biscuit and Spotty the other day.  I try to keep it very light.

I need to get headache pills and whey protein after work.  Ace is coming a little later but he, like me, is always early to appointments - a very nice change from Ron - so I will probably be putting my stuff away by our appointment time.  (Grin).

Ride in was so ick I bought a Lysol and doused myself in it before I went in the breakroom.  Not only that I am KEEPING that rascal in my locker to do the SAME EVERY DAY I ride the bus in to work.  It's that bad.  That one route is just raw with homeless defecating on themselves, bus benches, bus shelters - you think I am exaggerating but I have seen ALL of that and more.  People spitting on the floor of the bus it is VILE AND I ONLY DO THIS FOR JESUS.

When I get home I hope to find my "Wings over Zion" booklets to hand out.  I think now's a good time.

I should be home in 2 hours, God willing. That's it for now.  

Its just been an odd day

 First the horrible experience on the bus which is why "nice" people don't want to ride.

Then the grocery manager borrowed me "for the zone" which is supposed to be 2 aisles and one hour.  It was 4 aisles and 2 hours before I left.  I am shocked my real manager did not blow a gasket.

Now I am playing catch up which should keep me busy.

Ace is coming a little later so I can get a few things after work.  

That's it for now.

Yet another day

 With human waste on the bus bench.  Sickening.

Also a man with a sack full of prescription bottles, raw and open wounds on hands and  arms, nasty wet cough got in my face wanting candy " for me and my brother"  I gave him some and sat as far away as I could!

Friday morning

 I slept OK last night but a lot of fire trucks in the middle of the night not far away, not sure what that was about. I do know they only sent ONE fire truck for Ron and that with no lights or siren, this was several loud fire trucks. 

I figure it was either a road accident or a house fire I guess I will see on my way to work.  But it did wake me up. I had a nice time in bed snuggling Biscuit who is very cuddly these days.  

Not sure if I mentioned it but yesterday I had Biscuit in my lap during God time and Spotty got up too and walked on my chest, stepped on Biscuit (he was OK with that) and then sat on Biscuit's head. Biscuit objected to that and slapped him a few times and they got into it for a minute on my lap.  It wasn't vicious just a struggle for dominance.  

I had a headache when I got up but drank some Gatorade and that helped.  I also took some Excedrin.

Did my shower and God Time.  I attacked the shower with some cleansers and it does look better but next time I will use the scrub brush.  

The work progresses next door turning the garage into living quarters.  #6 did that with theirs (2 bedrooms, 4 kids in the garage total) back in 2012 I remember because we had just gotten Baby Girl and I had to lock her up the day they poured the concrete.  

I used to be pretty derisive about people who did that BUT my aunt told me her parents had to do that in their home, turn the garage into a bedroom for my uncle.  Whoops.  It made me think, too, I always thought my grandparents were pretty well off but I guess not.  I knew Dad had to pay his way though college but a Masters degree isn't cheap. 

Dad always told us kids he saw kids who had their college paid for and they didn't take it seriously, but he didn't want us to kill ourselves the way he did paying his way though college, so he would pay 2/3 which I always thought was fair. 

I paid my own community college back then it was pretty cheap.  I got about 18 credits I think, most of the way to an Accounting certificate.  The plan was to get the certificate and then go for 2 year degree, and later on if I wanted a 4 year.  The 4 year college had a deal with the community college and recognized their credits.  

Of course life got in the way, we moved, when I got to Houston it wasn't practical to enroll in community college right away and then Ron started his business and needed me on board for that.  

I don't want to climb the ladder I am content being a low level worker bee.  All the team leads at work are super stressed out that is 2.5 years of observations.  Target was the same way 30 years ago.  

High blood pressure leads to a lot of problems. Was a factor in Ron's death actually.  

Anyway I need to get ready and go.  That's it for now I'll do another when I get to work.   

Comments are back

 Tired tonight which is really surprising considering my caffeine intake.

On my lunch listening to "my life would suck without you" and the employee who didn't turn off his walkie.  

Just once I would like to hear a Gospel rapper or some Jesus metal.

Cheat note my life does not suck, without him.  Because I have Him.  

My store has a lot of manager turnover

 And this latest has everyone running scared.  It has been exhausting today.

But I honestly like what I do.  Going to read one of my Bible things for a minute before I go back.

 I got to work OK and had a very nice conversation with a driver who told me to keep up (candy evangelism) that all the drivers ever get is a hard time.  I am happy to do that.  He got pretty emotional.  

I got a fancy coffee with my birthday money.  Yesterday at work I was helping a customer and stumbled across some clearance purses.  I could use a cute little purse for church.  I got one in cream and one in mauve only $5 each - used birthday money for that.  So, not all coffee and candy.

I have a small granite window ledge that has some mold on it, in my shower.  So I got some granite cleaner.  What I understand you have to be careful cleaning granite.  And a few other cleaning products as well.  

I share a locker (our idea) with a lady coming back from leave so I cleaned it out.  I had 2 big water bottles and some cookies in a ziplock.  I threw out the bottles but left the cookies out for someone to eat.

Not common knowledge but I was severely neglected/starved as a toddler so I don't like to waste food.  One reason I always carry a snack as well.  

The only other thing I had was a pair of scissors and my little sweater both I think are fine.  It looks much better in there.  I didn't want her coming back to a mess.

Moderately depressed but I did arrange my ride home so I don't have to face 2 hours on the bus.

Dad is in transit and working his way across the country to Mom.  He reminds me of the Greek hero stormed the gates of hell for his wife.  You could do a whole action movie.  

Not feeling it today but I am glad I got the nice feedback from my driver.  

That's it for now.

A tale of 2 companies

 So I pay every month for my Amazon and I am happy to do it.  They always deliver everything in a day or so and they keep me posted on what they are doing.  

I ordered something for my Dad recently from another company.  I could only get it from this other company.  No tracking number for 10 days, no nothing, just a vague email we will send it Fed Ex in 5-7 days.  I thought that meant the Fed Ex would take 5-7 days but beginning to think they meant 5-7 days at their shop.  

At any rate I finally got an update with a tracking number and of course it is coming when Dad is out of town.  

There is literally no comparison between the two companies and that is really sad. It's a big company almost as big as Amazon but this is pitiful.  It is like the old days of shopping online where it took a month to get my thing.  

That's all.  

Praise God it's Thursday

 I made it to 4 PM, left, caught the bus.  My first driver (the cute one) was teasing me.  I like him but know nothing about him and I have put my heart on the shelf for now, it is fun just to talk to a nice friend.  And one good piece of advice Ron gave someone you should always be friends first.  He is a white guy with a beard, around 30-40 years old we enjoy flirting a little.  

So when I got off his bus Tuesday night (I only talk to him when I'm boarding and getting off) I told him I would see him next week, thinking it was Wednesday.  He laughed and said OK.  Yesterday he was teasing me about it and I said I was just THAT TIRED.  So that was fun I enjoy seeing him.  He also has a great attitude the bus behind him makes him do all the work.  

Let me explain, I will call them Bus A and Bus B.  Bus A leaves at 1 PM (say) and bus B comes along at 1:15.  Bus A is picking up so many people Bus B catches up.  Bus B is SUPPOSED to go out ahead, catch some passengers, and fall back, Bus A goes ahead, Bus B leapfrogs again, etc.  Well Bus B just sits behind him until they are almost at the end of the line then he pulls out ahead. But my guy has a really good attitude about it.  I respect that. 

He teased me a little when I got off, both of us knowing he'd see me next week.  It is cute.  It means nothing as well.  

We had a guy on the bus last night he got picked up in front of my Walmart. He had a new bike and several bags and large packages (cookware set, electric griddle, tabletop burners).  He couldn't figure out how to secure his bike.  

My 4:25 is always VERY crowded.  I can usually find a seat if I get on BEFORE the Walmart and I am glad I do this (a traffic light at my stop, but not in front of work). So the worst thing you can do is bring a lot of junk on the bus, there's no where to put it.  It was very awkward and very slow.  A "homeless" man was shouting he wanted to go back home (to his apartment!) and it got a little tense there.  That took minutes, then when he got off he did the whole thing in reverse and that took more time.  

I will call it the 5 PM bus to go home, if my first bus runs quick I can get her but lately it has been (because the other bus isn't helping, I think) the 5:30 bus for me which means I am out at a shared bus stop for about 20-25 minutes holding up a bag of candy as bus drivers approach.  I find it very entertaining.  

I see the bus approaching.  I hold up the candy.  Some swerve immediately to the left and get as far away from me as they can, stomping on the accelerator.  I always laugh but it's actually sad.  Some speed up to me, stomp on the brake, open the door, I tell them "I'm not riding I just want to give you this" and hand them the candy.  One or two keep going in their lane but they wave.  

There a lot of buses come through this stop so it keeps me busy.  I have been handing out several bags of candy during this period.  

I got off at my stop (a lot about my commute today!) and walked past the vacant lot and the dog is STILL there.  It is a huge husky.  It could have attacked me I got pretty close to her lair I think but just barked at me and did not chase.  

But I didn't have my stun gun due to the rain.  I will carry it today of course and then I also need to stay across the street.  She doesn't bother me there.  And then I probably need to put her on Next Door because someone is probably looking I don't think Huskies are cheap. 

I got home OK.  Dad was at a board meeting so couldn't talk and Mom is of course busy in Florida.  I called my aunt but went to voicemail but she is super busy with 9 grand kids.  Her son just had an on the job accident (not awful but pretty nasty) so she is probably nursing him too. 

I got home at 6:30, got on the computer for a little bit and went to bed at 8.  I woke up once or twice but slept straight until 6.  It was great.  I really needed the sleep.  I feel more alert but am battling a small headache.  I need to decide if it is worth taking some Excedrin.  

That's it for now.  

Gonna make it!

 2 hours to go when I get back.

Looking forward to the cats.

It's going to be cold at night this weekend.

That's it for now.

Made it to break

 Also got cash for the week.  Just snacks and rides I would need an armed guard for the candy money LOL.

I have a decent energy level considering.  I also got more water.  

That's it for now.

Made it to work

 Steady rain all morning.  2 late buses, one training route.  Got to the transit center at a new time so new drivers for candy.

Even the ones that haven't met me have apparently heard of me.  They grin when I show them the candy and open the door. I jump on, give the candy, jump off.  That is fun.

I will do my best to give them a good day's work today.  M-W are the hard days, Thursday and Friday night are much easier.

But I'm going to make it!  I brought a light sweater that complies with the dress code and plan to wear it as my legs got pretty soaked coming in.

That's it for now.  I brought 15 bags we will see how many I do today.

Early Wednesday

 I was pretty beat when I got home last night.  I literally just called my Dad, took out the trash, and went to bed.  

I had some old leftovers in the trash so I wanted that out also the can was better than half full as I had forgotten to take it out last week and wasn't willing to wake up neighbors taking the trash can out at 5 am.  I always wash my hands when I touch the can; good thing. Last night the can looked normal today it is covered in disgusting maggots.  The lid is closed the flies apparently laid their eggs on the outside of the lid.  

It was not supposed to rain today but it is.  It's not bad though, I can get to work in this and we can use it. 

I slept pretty well last night which is good.  I like taking the magnesium I feel it gives me a better quality of sleep.  I need to get more.  

The cats are good, they are eating the last of the old food and then I will feed them.  Yesterday I ran into the cat lady in my neighborhood, the one who feeds all the neighborhood cats.  She has very poor English but I told her about Texas Litter Control and she was very interested.  She said she feeds 24 cats I would bet money my 3 are included in that.  She lives a couple blocks down.  

I am glad the cats are chipped that way if they get caught by accident in a TNR push they can just call me and bring them back without doing surgery.  But it's pretty obvious my guys are pets.  

Only one day left and I can do it!  The early mornings are tough but I am doing a LOT of evangelism 6 AM at the transit center.  That is worth it to me and I will get to sleep in until 6 AM tomorrow which is late for me. No more rain for days either.  

Work was OK yesterday we have a new "higher up" she seems OK and I like her.  My boss is scared of her.  And one of my "coaches" (assistant manger) came back from a medical leave he was very surprised when I squealed "You're back!" and waved happily at him.  He grinned from ear to ear; he's a nice guy and I like him as a boss.  He has always been fair with me. 

Hoping boss has today off I am just TIRED.  But I read an interesting devotional it said we are willing to give this and that to God but are we willing to give Him our energy, our time?  Good points. And I am. 

But looking forward to next week when I only work until 2 PM M-W.  I will be home at 4, get to reach new drivers, get a nap before I call Mom and Dad. 

Dad leaves Thursday to join Mom in Florida, they will probably be there a few weeks.  It (Grandma in hospice) has been very hard on Mom.  

When Mom married my Dad she essentially adopted me.  She actually told me when I was about 8 she had tried to adopt me but my birth mother's doctor said it would send her off the cliff to "lose" me so they decided not to do it.  

Now my birth mother maimed me, then neglected me so severely it took me years to catch up on my growth curve.  I still have weird issues about going hungry. She lost custody after all that but had visitation which she never bothered to use. I saw her maybe a dozen times growing up, never on a birthday or any of that. 

Someone sent me flowers in my mother's name on my 10th birthday, to this day I don't believe it was her. So forgive me but I never really felt bad for her motherhood issues at "losing" me to step mom because my adoptive mother was the only one there when I was suicidal etc. 

Anyway she essentially adopted me but her family did not. Her parents, I felt, never liked me much.  They were nice enough (step grandmother) but they didn't love me. And that's OK, I was a weird, damaged, kid.  So I, personally, am not feeling much loss I had a much worse time when my Dad's Mom died.  She was my favorite' grandmother. 

On a side note one of my adoptive aunts sent me a check for $2K after Ron died and then just this year sent me $100 for my birthday which I then promptly spent on candy. She was never really connected up until Ron died.  I appreciate it!  

So I need to take my shower now, I'll be back. 

Checked my email a couple things: yesterday I asked Grace and Truth to send me (certain) tracts and then surprise me with 100 that would be good for an adult in a bag of candy. I am curious to see what they send. 

Second: apparently our neighborhood "night out" was a big push for a bond issue they just did to "protect underground utilities" which sounds expensive and messy. The last time they did something like that was back in 2012.  

Now it's shower time.  

I am having to modify my God Time I was doing a pretty intense Bible study every morning and have had to pare that back: 1.  Not very intelligent this early 2.  Time issues 3.  Energy issues 

But I am getting there. I did feel terrible that the cats seemed to want more attention than I could give them this morning.  I am thinking to sleep in late with the cats on Saturday (feed Friday night before bed) and stick home as much as I can.  Everyone did get some petting and a few treats.  Ron had no regulator due to his head injury I think: lots of alcohol, lots of porn, lots of cat treats.  He wouldn't give just a few treats now and then it was always a big handful.  

That all ended when he died of course I would give a few now and then but not much.  The cats didn't seem surprised when I cut them off. 

But they are happy treats are back in small amounts. I plan to use them to reinforce getting in my lap during Bible Study and also when people come over (not often) have the guest give the cat a few treats if they'd like (my aunt would not!).  

Yesterday I handed out 12 Gospel bags today I have 15.  I felt I could have gotten an additional few drivers if I'd had more last night as I missed a bus to come home and had to wait at the stop for about 20 minutes with the other guys whizzing by.  

That's it for now!