Does anyone give a damn?

I was thinking today about Mike, the guy who had a stroke on Monday.  By all accounts last I heard he is doing well.  I am very happy for him, but very sorry it happened. 

I was thinking it is great he has a devoted wife and son, a supportive extended family.  Sometimes I tell my cats they are a "family favorite" and that applies to Mike. 

Then I got to thinking about someone else.  He told me once, about 20 years ago, he wanted a wife like me, devoted and loyal.  Yet he single handedly sabotaged every chance at it and will now likely die alone or in some hellhole nursing home.  But that's the life he chose. 

He always thought he deserved a "better" woman.  When I gained weight Ron wasn't happy but he's accepted it and chooses to look at things like my intelligence and loyalty instead.  The other guy likely would have cheated and then left me for someone "he deserved".  Ron cares about the inside.   I am a GOOD caregiver for him and devoted to him and the cats.  You can't buy that - and the other guy tried. 

But when you have sugar daddy arrangements the sugar baby always runs off when the money dries up or things get rough.  It's the wife who sticks around. 

I remember I was on a head injury caregiver message board - you have got to love the internet.  One woman was talking about the typical bad behavior (short temper, no filter, etc) and said she was done, she was "only" living with him and "I didn't sign up for this" and left, taking their child.  I can only imagine the patient did not do well after that. 

I met another guy with a head injury, at the gym.  He came up to me and started pestering me one day.  I felt sorry for him because he did have a head injury and very apparent damage to his skull - even if he hadn't told me I would have seen it.  He was married at the time of the accident but she left him.  He was childlike and a little obsessed with sex, the gym was a really bad environment for him because it is very sexualized.  But he had some issues so she left him. 

Then I look at people like my aunt.  My uncle had a very nasty stroke about 30 years ago but she stood with him and helped him recover.  Like me, I don't think she could have seen herself walking away.  She has been a good example for me for a lot of reasons, this being one of them. 

And I started thinking about the sugar daddy and how he wants a loyal and dedicated woman - but she has to be "good enough" and "deserve" him.  You go at it with that attitude you will die alone.  But he told us (we didn't want to hear it) fantasies about how he would sexually exploit married women if he won the lotto and stuff like that - just really degrading view of women.  It is not surprising they pick up on that and avoid him. 

He wanted a strong and independent women but he also wanted a sexually submissive woman as well.  I don't think you get both. 

And Mike may be laid up in the hospital but his family is with him, I guess that is really it - when you are stricken does anyone give a damn?