Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Parking wars

First, I am extremely pissed at Ron's bank.  They sent me an email "their credit card statement" due date Oct 3 and just now getting it today.  The new guy at the bank SWORE to me there was a zero balance and we didn't owe anything, did confirm it was the due date so I gave him $20.  The statement reflects that payment but says the minimum is $25. 

So thanks to butthead we will have a late credit card payment.  I am pretty pissed.  I will go to the bank this week and yell at someone. 

I can understand being "new" and not getting the system.  But if you have ANY doubt you ask for help so the customer doesn't take a whack to their credit. 

Second, there is a dialogue on Next Door about people who park in handicapped spaces.  Some are saying "You just have to take it on faith that they need it, even if they appear healthy and vigorous". 

When I hurt my foot, I limped.  I was slow.  I did not get a hang tag.  I managed and I was in a fair amount of pain.  For weeks. 

Then we have the "I have a changeable illness so one day might be very bad".  I don't have a problem with it, but put the damned tag away on your GOOD days and save it for the people who need it.  I cannot tell you how many times we have had to unload Ron in the middle of a parking lot because someone "crippled" was parked in the handicap, and when they came out they were able bodied, pushing a cart quickly, wearing "cute" shoes that are difficult to walk in but doing it easily, carrying large kids, etc.  NEVER slow, hunched over, or using an assistive device.  Never.  Not even a knee brace. 

And they of course got a massive attitude about having to wait a minute. 

If they had just parked in a regular spot they wouldn't have had to wait, Ron could have used the handicapped without blocking anyone.  But there are only so many places you can unload a wheelchair, especially if he is in the back passenger seat, you need feet of clearance to the passenger side and several to the back, so they can get out the wheelchair.  We also need access to the ramp as well.  We need a lot of room- that's why he needs the space.  No one parks there for longer than unloading/loading.  I push him into the store, someone else can use the space. 

But if soccer mommy of 6 takes it because "sometimes my gallbladder hurts" then we have to stage a big production blocking multiple people in the parking lot.  And that isn't fair to the other drivers.  I don't care about blocking in the fake cripple but the rest I feel bad about. 

It is a lot like what happened with Chuck.  Chuck had a VA disability rating, not 100%.  He could still walk and use both arms and legs as far as I could tell.  He occasionally helped pick up heavy things when he helped us do supply runs, years ago.  Even this year he was picking up 40 pound cases of water.  He did not walk with any difficulty I could see, once he told me he would "Wait at McDonald's" when he took me to Walmart vs. walking around with me.  All the other times he walked with me and did his own shopping.  He got a hang tag for some reason, I am not sure what.  He could walk around the store with me, push the cart, load and unload the vehicle at my house. 

Yet he took the disabled parking spot at every opportunity because he had disabled plates and a hang tag.  Texas apparently awards disabled plates if the veteran has over a 50% disability rating.  So now of course I am looking at all the DV (disabled vet) plates with a squint eye now. 

I always felt there was someone with a terrible back and a walker looking for that spot.  Or a parent with a young child in a wheelchair.  One reason I stopped calling him.  Ron said something about Chuck calling and saying he got a vehicle but it won't fit the wheelchair now so that pretty much ends him helping us at all. 

I will always have a fond spot in my heart for Arturo transporting Cleo after she had a boo boo in her carrier.  I know very few people who would have done that.  So I try to call Arturo now - or Alex. 

Alex has thinning hair and is very self aware.  He always hides it with a hat.  I don't care about his hair, is he a decent human being?  Yes.  Will he help with Ron?  Yes.  Will he help with the cats?  He could drive naked covered in piercings as far as I'm concerned. 

So then we have the problem of people with a minor physical problem feeling entitled to take the handicapped spot away from someone in a wheelchair who literally cannot walk one step at all.  Someone whose arms don't even work right!  And two arm, two leg able bodied APPEARING prancing around in their "cute" high heels and moving quickly want his spot.  I find it upsetting. 

I know #6 is on Nextdoor so I made sure to mention I will have vehicles towed if they block our driveway.  He had a very bad attitude about that, blocking our driveway "I'll move when I'm ready".  Like there was nothing we could do.  Ha, I just checked and a tow in Houston runs about $200 to start not counting mileage.  We have some tow truck numbers if he ever tries it again, but he hasn't. 

He really seems to treat it as "his" property.  Ron thinks he helped the flippers renovate the house and that's why he feels entitled to use our property and let his kids run wild (until I put a stop to that).  It is likely, I feel, they were all friends.  But that was 20 years ago and you need to get over it. 

I remember one day not long after we bought the house we came home and 20 mexicans in folding chairs all over our front yard and driveway, he was having a party.  I said get out of here or I'm calling the police.  They played dumb, no speaka English.  I started yelling POLICE very loudly and they all scattered.  He came over "What's the problem?"  "Get your friends off my property, that's what!"  I am not the neighborhood park. 

SO with him I had to set very strict boundaries.  I don't care if #2 parks in front of my house (much) because her friends never stay for more than a few hours and they never impede our driveway. 

Onto happier thoughts: we had some items stacked up next to the kitchen table.  It is an item in a cardboard box on top of a storage bin.  The cats love to get up on the box for treats.  But Cleo was eating the cardboard.  I talked to Ron about getting another cat condo (they are 16 inches square by 2 feet tall, you have seen them in my videos) for over there.  He just asked me to measure.  It will fit great, so he told me go ahead and I did.  It would affect his space so I felt I should talk it over.  Glad I did. 

That comes today and I can get rid of the other stuff.  I think the cats will like this a lot better than that old cardboard box.  After an adjustment period.  Some treats and a little catnip spray.  It will be comfortable for cats to lounge in/on too, unlike the box. 

Good.  I want to spoil them and this is something we can use, and have a place for.  That makes 3 of these smaller condos and one big cat tree (6 feet) in the front room, a cat tree in the back room, and just my bed in my room.  Torbie likes to go up in my closet on the top shelf, or sleep on top of my dresser. 

I would absolutely "catify" the house but for one thing - I think high shelves on the walls would be a bad thing when it came time for the vet.  They would flee up high and I wouldn't be able to catch them.  I might get lower shelves though. 

Cleo let me pet her, a good one down her back and to the tip of her tail.  I was thrilled.  She is such a sweet little girl and we love her so much.  I am glad to see her thriving.  It is really cute to watch Mama and her 2 kids eating out of the same bowl at feeding time. 

I left the door propped to the garage today so they are going in and out, I can hear them on the ramp.  They have a lot of fun in the garage and it is cooler today. 

Ron had needed a lot of tending today, he is having a bad back day but seems to have it beat down to a reasonable level.  He is eating some munchie mix.  I will ask him if he wants a slider.  Nope, he wants munchie mix. 

More later.  I may do a video blog. 

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm done with this blog.

You used to be nice, optimistic, kind.

Now you are arguing with commenters that are being civil, dissing homeless and handicapped (totally what Christ would do!), but god forbid someone say something the least bit critical about Ron the Rapist!

You don't try to better yourself anymore. You stopped exercising and doing anything for you.

Your whole life is now tied to a jerk who doesn't love you at all. You can leave at any time but refuse to.

It's sad, but this Heather isn't the one I used to enjoy reading.

Heather Knits said...

Don't let the door hit you.

I have gotten a lot stronger about asking for what I need and setting boundaries. Apparently you fall in the "occasionally" disabled category who use the disabled parking ALL the time or something like that, got offended.

Someone used to tell me, growing up, "Only the truth hurts". Truer words never spoken. 10K hits a month someone is reading.

You really thought the life I have lived wouldn't change me? I am the same person I have always been you just saw what you wanted. I am better at setting boundaries and asking for what I need.

And the customer was anything but civil (I assume you refer to Mr Turkey). He has been very rude, ongoing, for years. I was very polite. I even passed on his request to Ron, the business owner, to let him know demand existed.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the exact same thing. There is so much hate here now. So much generalization and looking down upon people in so many categories I won’t even list them all. It’s so offensive. I hope Heather gets back to church ASAP.

Anonymous said...

I’m starting to see a trend. Heathers side of the story seems to be the least likely to have any truths to it. You’re probably the problem neighbor, paratransit rider, grocery store customer, and not the other way around.

Heather Knits said...

You can call me a liar in my blog, I would have respected you more if you said LIAR and not evaded.

You can believe whatever the hell you want, I don't care. I get Walmart delivery now so I only go to the store 1-2 times a month now. I never go to a grocery store as the ones around me are dubious and one had a hissy fit because I brought in my own soda to drink.

Ron would probably be labeled the problem on paratransit (I am playing with this as I am stuck at home anyway) as he is the "wheelchair" which must be strapped down and secured properly or they lose their job. Then he talks about Jesus all the way to the destination and gives his testimony over and over again. If he gets out of the wheelchair he requires assistance (which I provide as I don't trust anyone after a driver let him fall).

I go to bed at 7-8 every night, am quiet in the morning when I'm up and they're not, keep my music very low (you can't hear it in the next room, much less outside), keep my cats inside, paratransit only parks in front of my house assuming no one has stolen the spot, then they have to take the whole street). I keep the yard maintained and return mis delivered mail. I never set foot on their property. It's up to you to decide. I would absolutely live next to myself.

If I cared about your opinion, which I don't. But replying is better than sitting around depressed wondering when Chewy will come.

Heather Knits said...

If my general experience with a group is negative that is not a generalization. And you are really sitting at your keyboard defending people who steal handicapped parking from someone who needs it?

You want me back in church how about you pray for God to send us a ride? Everything is 10x harder to access on paratransit.

Anonymous said...

Have to agree with the above comments, you're not the same and while you call it sticking up for yourself, I see it as off putting. Yes, you have a hard life, we all have struggles. I don't know why I read your blog either.

Heather Knits said...

First of all, I have to be "me". I am not sure what you are seeking here, a sweet overcomer? A living saint who spends 2 hours a day in Bible study and never curses? I don't get it.. feel free to share what you think you want it would add some clarity to me. But I can only be me.

When I started the blog in 2007 I was rescuing cats, running the business, taking care of Ron, very involved in various crafts/garden (that has changed I admit), working on managing my illness. All of that (save the one) has remained the same.

For years I had people screaming at me to set boundaries, stand up to Ron, don't enable. I am doing that and I am hearing "You've changed". Isn't that a good thing? I have done this while Ron gets worse and worse and have done it with very little help.

My mother spent her life chasing after other people's approval. I can't do that. I will continue to be me, I don't owe any apologies, I am the same me I have always been but I might throw in a call to my aunt. Ron is happy with me, especially after I just fed him a slider. I do see my doctor who is an expert and a teacher so he will be sure to tell me if he sees a problem. It's dinner time for her so I will wait but I am just baffled.

Or are you just envious I have Cleo? :)

Anonymous said...

What’s changed is the hatred you spew at everyone around you. You didn’t used to do that. And judging by your responses you fail to see what we are outraged about.

Anonymous said...

I used to admire your bible handouts. You are so judgemental of others lately. I believe you're not happy. All the negative posts make me wonder why I read. I do care about you, but lately....

Heather Knits said...

I talked to my aunt, she said not to worry. I asked specifically if I seemed bitter and she said no. I trust her judgement.

The only clear response stated they were upset I got defensive of Cleo and I would do that again so apparently nothing to worry about.

Anonymous said...

Never hatred towards Ron, who’s worse than all the people she spews venom at.

Person who may be handicapped? THE WORST

Guy who is filthy, calls her horrible names, drinks their saving away, refused to get any help for his accident, raped her. That’s fine!

You can always LEAVE. It’s a worse relationship than any I’ve seen.

Anonymous said...

I think it would be helpful for your Psychiatrist to read your some of your blog and your responses in the comments.


Heather Knits said...

What is it with you tonight?

Ron had sex with me when I was underage. 20 some years ago when he was being a jackass he told me to leave that night if I wouldn't do him. Not quite pinning me down, et al.

Ron's body is his and if he doesn't want help I am not forcing it on him. People are always trying to "help" me with my diet soda consumption (totally fine per doc), I reject that too so I can relate.

Now you've got me wanting to hear Venom by Eminem. https://youtu.be/Q97alSBCAxw

Heather Knits said...

Doc is very busy. It is not his job to "make me normal". It is his job to keep me functional. I am not homi/suicidal. I take care of not only myself, but my husband and the cats. I help run a small business. I take my medication faithfully. He isn't worried about me.

If I'm under the bridge haven't bathed in a month and refuse to take my medication that is a problem. He has expressed concern at the load I bear but that is all. He examines me very carefully every time we meet.

I am sure there are bipolar mothers working and taking care of elderly parents who can relate to what I am going through. It isn't his job to make sure I have a stress and emotion free life. He has always been clear on that. His job is to give me the tools so I can handle things better. And he has.

Anonymous said...

I didn't say it is his job to "make you normal" or to make sure that you have a "stress and emotion free life."

I believe he could learn a lot more about you from reading your blog for 5 minutes than he can learn from talking to your Aunt.

Heather Knits said...

Remember a psychiatrist is an MD for the brain. He is not concerned with "what type of person someone is" so much as "Are they clinically stable". To the second, yes, I am.

I can't recall the last time I was suicidal.