Sunday morning

#2 tenants have been gone for a while, I was just taking my trash out early in the morning and making noise with the trash can. 

Long term readers know how much I HATED the "#6 midnight diaper runs" 3-4 times a night every time they had a new baby, for several years straight as they had one after the other.  "they didn't want the stink in the house" but they finally got a diaper genie with the last and it stopped.  I vowed I would NEVER be that person, and I haven't. 

But the new resident at #2 is moved in so that means I need to change how I do the trash/recycle.  I keep the can (I have to) on their side of my house, I only have one side yard on the south side of my property.  #6 is the north side. 

I got up this morning, Ron was up, we talked.  Mornings tend to be a pretty good time for him.  We watched some Hoarders. 

It of course reminded me of my sister - Ron reminded me how her house was so hoarded I got stuck in the hall on the way to the bathroom.  I almost pulled a heavy wooden bookcase down on my head trying to get free.  Pretty awful. 

Which reminded me of all the reasons I cut off contact, one I haven't shared she exposed me to C. diff. in addition to the head games, hoarding, etc.  She had really high hopes she could "save" me from Ron and I would become her live in caregiver.  I would have a part time outside job, of course, for spending money.  I remember one time she told me she went to the hospital and had severe gastric trouble, and the doctor wanted to do a colostomy.  "Who" she asked me "Is going to be there in the middle of the night and tell the doctor I don't want one?" 

Well, that's why you stay married, instead of divorcing your husband for being autistic.  Or build up a better support network.  If something really bad happened to me Ron would be there, or the hospital could call my aunt.   Both have a pretty good idea what I want.  And my Dad, but my adoptive mom has flat out said she will utilize all extreme measures to keep me going. 

Anyway, all the hoarded houses completely reminded me of hers, and, like I told Ron "You can get around just fine in my house".  I could not say the same for my sister's house.  Ron wouldn't have been able to get in the door. 

Her 2 daughters each married "strong" men so I am sure they will not allow their wives to be manipulated.  That comforts me.  They deserve to have rich, full, happy lives of their own. 

My mother was very needy by all accounts and required a lot of "tending".  So my sister learned that behavior, if I want love/attention I have to "get sick".  As a result she was always "sick" during lonely periods in her life yet never complained about illness when she was "happily" married. 

Of course now she would say she wasn't happy but she wasn't sick either.  It is funny I am just the opposite, when I am lonely/sick/hurting I shut down and don't want to be around others.  That's what I learned, isolation.  I have to push myself to be social. 

I am listening to Spotty yelp behind me as Cleo kicks his butt.  It is pretty funny.  Cleo is a savage!  I told you how she gutted the cat toys. 

So I don't regret cutting off contact.  Now God, the Holy Spirit, whatever you want to call it was quite forceful in working on me to forgive my Dad and get back in touch with him, it was annoying, actually, a very forceful impetus and I did not want to do it... but I let God work on me and I did. 

My sister?  Nothing.  I need to be around healthy spirits and she is not. 

I fed the cats when I got up but Mama cat wanted a second can.  I eventually gave in and they ate most of it, then she begged some more.  She is a beggar!  She tried to go in my bedroom but Torbie smacked her for trespassing. 

I imagine Mama will sleep with me after Torbie "graduates". 

Ron sat, drank a little every now and then, 3 empty bottles in the sink (!).  I cleaned the litter boxes but was very quiet about putting that trash in the can.  I will take out the empty glass bottles in a little while for recycling. 

I think 10 am is a reasonable time to make noise around a young person.  (20's)

I also started some laundry, Ron is very hard on his shirts but they always launder well.  Tide is the secret.  Worth every penny.  I have a good washer, too.  I take good care of it, giving it the cleaning cycle every month. 

Since it's just us 2 I don't do a lot of loads but it has done fine.  I do have to run a second rinse if I use the scent beads, otherwise I will get a residue, but other than that things are good. 

I took my pills.  Lately I have some reluctance to take them, side effects and I hate needing them.  It's like my glasses, I can't imagine going around and seeing all the time without something in between.  The pills help me function, but I hate that I need them. 

Which is why I had to cut off contact with that pastor.  I don't need anyone telling me to go off my pills. 

Ron has mentioned that other church a few times.  I will need to find an outfit.  The last church was extremely casual but I had a few things that should work, a broomstick skirt and a blouse.  It doesn't have to be elaborate, just nicer than jeans and a t-shirt.  Ron has slacks and a button down shirt. 

I just took a peek and found my "outfit" in 10 seconds, so I find that a good sign.  If things work out I can get a Land's End dress - those last forever and are easy-care.  I get good coupons too.  I have a pair of sandals that will work, I can push Ron in the chair, be comfortable, and still look cute. 

Details!  But Ron has asked about it a couple of times so I find it encouraging he wants to go at least once.  They have a Bible study so I might take him to that first and see how that goes. 

I am a little raw right now on churches but I will absolutely take Ron if he wants to go.  Mama and Spotty just came over for petting.  I wonder how they "won" the computer room and the right to hang out. 

That's it for now, I need to take out the recycles and take a shower.