I was craving bread all day so I ordered Dominos last night. I got Ron the specialty chicken and myself some bread bites and cheesy bread. I only ate the bread bites, which were sprinkled with cheese and drenched in a garlic butter.
Years ago a blood test had me come back mildly allergic to garlic. And I got a pretty good headache out of it within minutes of eating. It lasted all night (I still slept OK).
I woke up thinking about some books I had seen at the thrift store. I used to love to go to the thrift store, I could spend $20 and walk away with tons of stuff, books, clothes, etc. Anyway they had a series of science fiction books, they were very long books each, 4 of them ___ Spring, ___ Summer, etc. They had the planet name in it, like "Earth Spring". They always looked interesting but I never got them. That is really the only book regret I've got, that I never read them. The premise of the series they had a 3600 orbit and each season was 900 years, so they had one very long book for each season. The first book in the series was Spring and they were digging out from the winter and realized this had happened before.
I got up, took some Excedrin, pretty nasty little headache. GARLIC IS A NO even though I love it. I can even taste garlic in my mouth. Ugh. I beat the headache back but Ron does not want to work on the report yet. We will, apparently, have another marathon session at the last minute. [rolleyes]
He was doing some talk I found upsetting but I asked myself if it could be depression talk. It fit. So I didn't say anything. He has heard my theory he suffers from depression and would benefit from medication. But no man wants to hear he needs "crazy" pills.
In fact, if I hadn't been so bad I think Ron would have fought me getting medicated. At times he would try to use it as a weapon, me needing medication and "being crazy". I never took it personally. It is like telling someone with arthritis they need glucosamine. So what?
For a psych major he had a pretty medieval attitude toward mental illness. In "I'm OK and You're OK" Eric Berne described a woman with alcoholism "creating" a bipolar child, that "he hadn't had consistency" and that created the mood swings. WRONG now as we all know you can actually put a bipolar in a brain scan and see vast difference from a usual brain. I think it was "Cold Case" the fiction show did a good episode about a woman with bipolar disorder.
They totally disregarded the organic nature of most mental illness. Now, say, take a trauma victim who starts cutting. That is likely is external and her mind is fine, just traumatized. She may have had a predisposition to depression but was fine until the assault.
But the gospel according to Ron "Bad Mommy" or parents were responsible for everything. There was no organic mental illness. It got very old, and it wasn't just Ron, everyone was saying I had problems because I had a "bad mommy". She wasn't that bad! She pretty much stayed out of my life!
I believe someone had a talk with her and said I would be a lot better off if she stayed clear. They were right. I never had to deal with her dramas aside from the hysterics every time they "took me away" at the end of visitation. And that didn't happen very often.
So I am pretty good at spotting depression talk because I have heard so much in my head. But if he won't get screened there is nothing I can do to help him. He behavior has not been the best the last couple times I took him out so I am stopping that for now. Or only taking him somewhere where bad behavior is more acceptable.
I was very upset at Ron for yelling at that guy with the stroke "accent". at Chilis that day. He had a pretty bad speech when he first woke up and no one said "No one wants to hear you" and "shut up". So probably better to keep him home. I can get most food delivered.
The cats are good. I fed everyone (dry food because the scent of wet food with a migraine is just awful) and Cleo let me get some pets. Later on she went over to Ron for treats, licked his hand and let him pet her. It was pretty cute. I never have my cell phone. He is never "properly" dressed. So I can never get a video but the Cleo fans would love it.
She's such a sweetie, and the wild child of the family. She loves to drag my shoes out in the walkway.
I am going to go lie down for a little bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment